Tuesday, June 22, 2004

And the beat goes on...

Anger phase is over. It ended yesterday afternoon, when I reached down inside myself, said, "Accept your relationship fate, dumbass!" And then I had no choice but to accept it..because I hate it when I yell at myself...makes me feel all ooky.

So, forgiveness was requested, and granted. I granted forgiveness as well, although I'm not sure it was completely recognized as being needed. But I thought it necessary just the same. Because although he's not saying much, he could be feeling pretty crappy about how things have gone...how can I be sure? So I thought I'd just give it, even though it hadn't been asked for. And I feel tons better for it.

At the end of it all, I can only say that this is the one time in a long time that I've felt like I made a real connection with someone that I want to have last for a while. I want to remain friends, because I like having him as a friend, and I hope he knows he can lean on me for friendship when he needs it, too. I'm just glad the badness is over. I hate feeling bitter...it's really not productive.

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