Monday, October 25, 2004

A couple people have asked, so here we go...

Ok, my weekend with Dave. Did anything happen? Sort of. Was it fun? At times. Here's the scoop...

Saturday was a long day. I was finally able to wash my car (it's been slimy and rainy in town for the past 2 weeks, pretty much...), and I went to go visit my Old Best Friend, her hubby, and their week-old brand new adorable baby girl Lucy, and then I went to the Blue Moose to eat (I was starving!), and to watch the USC game. Dave rolled in at about 5:45, or so, and sat down kind of far from me, but whatever. We watched the game, and some old guy came in and started talking politics with me ("You're voting for Kerry, right?" Um, not that it's any of your business, but..."What about women's rights?" Shut UP old man!), and then Dave left.

Now, I don't believe that I'd had too much to drink at that point. I'd eaten a good amount, and had probably had around 4, maybe 5 Miller Lites. But last I remembered, he'd said he was going home to watch the World Series game, because he had scotch there, and he didn't have to pay for it to drink it. Kay, I get that. I figured I'd head over there when I was done with my beer. But I never got to ask him if that was ok, really, and he never explicitely invited me over, so I guess that's where I made my mistake.

I finally left the Moose, and made my way over to Dave's house. And his lights were off. Hm. So I tried calling...no answer. So I drove home. Then I thought about how good Taco Bell might taste right then, and I went out to find some. Changed my mind on my way to the closest Taco Bell, and drove back home. Decided to give Dave's place another try. His light was on! I knocked on the door. I could hear Sammy (the dog) inside panting, and pawing at the floor, but no Dave. Alright. I went home again, and changed immediately into jammies, and settled in to watch the Series on my couch. I called and left Dave a message that I had no idea when he left the bar, but that I had assumed he was going to be home, and what happened? A couple hours later, I left another message saying that I was sorry if he felt ignored at the bar, but the old man wouldn't shut up! And I would've much rather been talking to Dave. And that was all.

I went to bed at about midnight, I think. And I woke up at 4 a.m. Couldn't go back to sleep, wondering what the fuck had happened. So, I decided to call him. Yep. At 4:30 a.m., I picked up the phone, and called him leaving him a message that went something like, "I can't sleep, and I'm blaming you. I'm not sure what happened last night, but I had assumed you had invited me over (my mistake, of course), and then I never hear from you? What the hell is going on here, anyway?"

Ok, in my defense, I had been working on very little sleep for the past 72 hours, job stress had been high, and compared to the higher emotional level I'd been on earlier in the week, I had literally had a crash and burn thing that had happened by Friday. Saturday was a good day to recover, but then the whole Dave thing ocurred, and I took it waaaay personally. Especially considering the way he'd behaved about the whole internet dating thing from Wednesday on. I felt lonesome and pissy and rather unhappy by the time I went to bed on Saturday night. Alright...that's enough defense...

So. I went to my living room, and read a little, watched a bit of a bad movie (because that's all that's really on at 4:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning, apparently), and then finally crawled back into bed around 6:15 a.m. to give sleep another go, which didn't work. My phone rang at about 6:55 a.m. I knew it was Dave, trying to get me back. Indeed, the first thing he said was, "Did I wake you up?" I said, no, not really...but he said, "Good, because I am pissed." And it went on from there. I had to listen to him rail on about how he'd gone home the night before, and then went over to a neighbor's house to watch the game. I was able to explain that I thought his comments at the bar about how he was going home to watch it and drink scotch were an invitation to me, and that clearly I was wrong, but he didn't care much at that point. He was really angry. I don't get why, but whatever. We hung up, and after a few minutes, I called back, and left him a message stating that I was sorry for having woken him up as I had, and that I had assumed that he was ignoring me the night before, and had therefore turned off the ringer on his phone. I also said that I was confused...a week ago, he had asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I said no. He asked if I was dating anyone, and I said no. He asked if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. And then he asked me if I'd give him a chance, and I said yes. So whatever had changed since then, I was unclear on, but he certainly wasn't treating me like someone he wanted to get a chance from, that was damned sure.

Ok, so at this point, we're about even on the Being An Ass scale. But I'm a girl, and I think I should have a wider allowance on the ass scale. Because we do stupid things when we think a guy likes us sometimes. It's kind of involuntary. I'm still trying to get that spazzing action under control, and I've been dating for over 15 years. Bleh.

Anyway, I rolled around on Sunday. Went to Home Depot to replace the faucet I'd bought to install in my bathroom, came home, and got down to business with the action of working on removing the old, broken faucet (scary task...men had installed the old one, and it was screwed on tight, man. I'm so sore today, it sucks...), and then took a break to get some lunch at about noon. I needed a part for the sink to work properly, so I headed out to the hardware store which is in the same little center where the Blue Moose is, and which is where we go to watch the games on Sunday. I thought it would be a really bad idea to go there yesterday, but I did consider dropping by for a moment at that point. I looked cute, even if I was exhausted, and a Diet Coke would've hit the spot. But I decided not to after a minute of debate with myself. Not only was I sort of irritated with Dave, but I was pretty sure he needed more space from me after my shenanegans, and I was so exhausted that I was really fine with that. I would've liked to have said hello to the others that go there, but there's always next week.

Anyway, he called me at about 5:15 last night to find out why I hadn't come down to watch the game. (Which fascinated me, but whatever...) I told him basically what I said in my paragraph above, and then we talked a bit. He said that the number of my phone calls the night before had freaked him out. I told him I had shit to say, and that's just the way I am. (Who the fuck cares about shit like that, right? Don't listen to the messages if you're so bothered by it. Christ!) Anyway, I told him that I was emotionally and physically exhausted after the way the past few days had gone at work and at home, and that it had a bad effect on me. Also, I was confused by the way he had treated me since I had told him about my internet dating past. I told him that I was almost afraid to even say the word "internet" any more, for fear of what he might wind up saying to me. So he told me his issue. He said that he associated internet dating with desperation. (He did preface this comment by saying that he didn't mean to offend me. Um, dude? Just you thinking it is offensive, kay?) I asked him if he thought I was a desperate woman. He said no, he didn't think that. I was all, "Ok, then! So what is the issue? It's another way to meet people, period." I also like the way it gives me the opportunity to chat with people for as long as I want before meeting them face-to-face, but I didn't go into that with him. Anyway, then he says that I told him that I met these guys, and then slept with them, and that bothered him too. I was all, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!! I never said that! I had boyfriends that I met online, and I slept with them, but I don't do that, man!" I told him there are specific websites for that type of thing, and I don't use them. That's not my deal. So he apologized for having the wrong impression there. *sigh!* Then he mentioned the fact that I came over for 3 nights in a row last week, and while he had said it was fine for me to drop over any time, that maybe that was a bit much, blah, blah, blah. Um, Dave? Yeah, you called me on Tuesday night wondering where I was at, and asking me when I could be over there. I showed up on Wednesday night because it was what I thought he wanted. Gah!! (Oh, and I wanted to go over there, too, of course. I don't do stuff just because I think it'll make them happy...it needs to make me happy too...)

So we were both all, what next? And I finally said that we need to move forward slowly, and understand that we need to talk more about this shit, it seems. I did not tell him that I've struck up a conversation with someone new online. But I am glad that I'm doing that as well. Because Dave? Seems a little off to me. So we'll see what happens.

I hope my love life is at least a little bit entertaining to people. Because it must happen like this for a reason, dammit...

5 comments:

lyn said...

he's a head case. i'm glad you are talking to someone else. you're going to have a harem like mine in no time flat :)

Faith said...

A head case...yes, indeed. That could be it. :)

You know, I wouldn't regularly think that putting this much detail up about things (i.e. my lovely 4:30 a.m. phone call...) would be a good idea, because I wouldn't want to give credence to the thought that I am either "bitter" or "pathetic", as some anonymous readers apparently feel I am. But I know that one of the things I love about reading other blogs is when someone tells stories about what's going on in their love life. Sometimes I can identify with it, and sometimes, I sit there and scream at the person like I'm watching a movie, telling them "NO! Don't do it!", and then wonder what happened next. It's so much fun!

Which is why I hope the shit that happens to me is at least entertaining in some way. Like I said in my post, there must be some reason why I have the "luck" I do with men, eh?

lyn said...

i'm totally entertained.

Julie said...

Oh, yes, I love reading about this. Keep it coming!

He's a basket case. No one who is living (fully) in the 21st century believes those things about internet dating (that it means you are desperate, that it means you just hook up and have sex). I can't tell you how many of my friends do it, and how many have met mates/spouses that way. OK, I know I'm preaching to the choir, but...my point is, if he doesn't understand it (and for God's sake, my MOTHER understands it) he's really not awake, aware, and/or healhty enough for you.

And although you may have over-called, he's a freak for getting freaked out. Please don't forget his age, and how much he's acting like he's got the maturity of someone 20 years younger. Here's the theorem: biological age - emotional age = + or - 3 years. If it's outside that range, just say no.

Faith said...

Good thoughts, Julie. I'm glad that you read and give feedback on this shit that's going on in my lovelife.

At this point, I'm just setting back from it a bit. I'm not going to make a point of avoiding him, or anything, but I'm not calling him. And I'm obviously not just dropping by his place any more, because while he encouraged it last week, he obviously took issue with it.

I'm hoping my silence will help him to realize what a fucktard he was being over the weekend. I know that it's giving me the opportunity to question whether I'd want to even casually date someone like that...I just don't know if I like him much at all. We haven't had a lot of opportunity to hang out and get to know one another, really. But the way he's behaved has definitely had an impact on me, that's for sure.

Thanks for the help, girls! Keep it coming...I can't afford therapy, so this helps me a lot! :)