Monday, November 08, 2004

Planning ahead is a sign of maturity

Good Lord. The Kobe Bryant accuser, as she has come to be known, spilled the beans to a friend about what she planned on doing with some of the money she expects to receive from her suits against Kobe in Colorado. A couple of boob jobs (one for her, one for a friend...aw! How nice!), a koala bear for a friend that likes them (no...not a stuffed bear. A real, live koala bear. Yeah, I know...), etc...

She's a real winner, that girl. You know, as much as my life may seem like it sucks some days, I'm super grateful that I am who I am. I am relatively intelligent, I've got a pretty face, I make good money and can take ok care of myself, and I love my family, as silly as they can be sometimes. Yeah, so I don't have a man, and my job is pissing me off a majority of the time lately. But I've made good decisions in my life that I can be proud of. That's my focus during this really difficult PMS time I'm currently experiencing. Thank goodness for the media, and their way of giving me shit to look at and go, "Thank heavens that isn't me!"

I don't know how to end this post, so I'll just tell you now that I'm giving everybody that comes across my path today a great, big, fat raspberry (:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P), because that's the kind of mood I'm in. Nyah.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

a koala bear? wha, were they out of unicorns that she could buy? what a maroon.

oh, and boob jobs for her and her friend. oh, so practical, no?

i think she should buy me a car, while she's at it...

FaithsTwin said...

I wouldn't ask her for a car- I would go with something unique, seeing as she seems to be into more exotic giftsets: say a giraffe (one that would be guaranteed to stay in a pigmy state, of course), or a years worth of colonic treatments out in Palm Springs.

I suppose if you want a new car you could put the creative spin on it and demand a paint job that never looks dirty or something- THAT would create the oddity that sounds just right for her to be motivated in your favor.

Faith said...

The boob job thing seems perfectly normal to me. (And again, so very nice of her to want to procure one for her friend as well. It's very charitable of her.) I mean, this girl obviously needs a self-esteem boost, so boob job - yes. Do it if it helps, I say.

But a koala bear? Good call on the whole suggestion of maybe a unicorn, or the mini-giraffe. Both very good ideas. I mean, koala bears need a certain type of climate, and they'd need a place to play. And I hear they can be pretty mean when they're pissed off, so probly not the best pet, really. Also, they're nocturnal, right? So unless this friend of hers works a swing shift, and is awake anyway, chances are the koala is just going to be more of a burden than it would be a special treat.

She's clearly insane, is what I think. The girl needs to be put away for a while. Fucking koala bears and shit. Christ!

lyn said...

that chick is insane. what a bitch.

Mark said...

Heeeeeyyyy, someone else knows koala bears have a nasty temper. They also don't like to be handled from my understanding too. Cute to look at, but leave 'em be.

I should have made it to the zoo in Australia one of the times I was there, but oh well. Have to go back there someday anyway. ;)