Monday, December 13, 2004

So weird...

I've been thinking about Dickhead off and on the past couple of days. It's been a little while (over a month, I think) since we've seen each other, and I've been trying to figure out if I should try to get together with him or if I should keep my Dickhead Abstinence going so I can keep on the proper track of falling out of love with his ass. I considered calling him last night, but kept my outside contact to the minimum and just spoke to the Twin a little bit. So when I was suddenly thinking of him again about 20 minutes ago, and was wondering if maybe I should just drop an e-mail, and then my cell rang and it was him, it gave me the shivers a bit. :) In a nice way, of course.

So we're talking about getting together this Friday for dinner and what have you, and I'm seriously looking forward to it. I know I'm a ridiculously stupid girl, and that I should snap out of my self-induced love/lust haze that I have for this boy, but I don't care what other people think. He's a little early-Christmas present I'll be giving myself, is how I see it. I need what he's got, and I don't care if he likes to tell himself differently, he needs what I've got. And what's funny is that when I was thinking about it yesterday, wondering what I should do and whether I should call him or not, I decided that I would wait for him to call me. Something told me that he would.

I wonder what the connection is that he and I have, and what it will mean further down the line. I like the idea of going into business with him at some point or another. I think that's one thing we can agree we appreciate about one another...our desire to be in charge of something for ourselves, and to not have to answer to some higher up, holier-than-thou manager-type person, and our desire to be happy doing something we truly enjoy doing. The last thing we wanted to do was open an Ikea in the KC area. That fell through, as Ikea sucks, and although it's a franchise, apparently one company owns the franchising rights in North America, and we can't get in on it. Weird. Anyway, so we're trying to put our heads together and figure out a new direction to go in. Who knows if anything will ever pan out.

But in the mean time, I'm left with my incredible desire to be with him, the knowledge that it would never work as long as we remain the people we are at this point in time, and the comfort of knowing he's there for me if I need him. Most of the time. :)

Stupid, stupid girl. In a silly, silly way...

1 comment:

L.L.E. said...

Not stupid, just silly. :)~