Thursday, December 16, 2004

To: Management From: Admin # 1,435,789

Dear Management of the World:

Why must you treat your admins as subordinate creatures, rather than as a co-worker that helps you function effectively in your day to day life? We are the ones that are here to open the office every day, to make your fucking coffee (when we don't even drink it), to start your computer for you, to print your reports and make sure the information given on them is accurate, to answer your phones and take your messages, to watch after your big, fat, management ass to make sure your day goes as smoothly as it possibly can.

And how are we rewarded? We're left to deal with all the customer service issues that we can handle on our own, to create reports in the blink of an eye becaue you needed them "yesterday, goddam it!", to try to decipher what the best route would be as far as setting up the meeting that you want us to miraculously plan in less than 4 business days for 20 people, to NOT EVER GET SICK or take a vacation day because, holy shit, where would you be then?, to work our asses off for hourly rates that barely pay for our lunches every day, etc, etc, etc...

So, when we have an appointment out of the office, and we let you know 3 days in advance of said appointment, and you tell us in return that we need to clear things like that with you first because you have something more important you need us to do (which, btw, consists of us sending out YOUR Christmas presents to your co-workers in the field. Really? Really?? THAT is why we have to cancel our appointment and reschedule it? Oh...ok. Sure.), so we reschedule, and then ask you if it's ok to go, like we're in the goddammed 1st grade and we need permission to go down the hall to the bathroom, for chrissakes. How about you step off your high and mighty manager pedastal for a millisecond to check and see what your life would be like without us here?

*blink, blink*

Get it, asshole? YOU would have to get here early to answer the phone calls that start up at 8 a.m., even though we don't open until 8:15, and YOU would have to figure out the best way to print that report that was sent to you in the strangest format ever, and YOU would have to call systems support to find out just why the hell your remote system kicked you out for no reason and wouldn't let you back in, and YOU would have to try to find another admin that could do as succint and wonderful a job as you've been touting we do for the past 2 years (and, oh by the way, we've been here longer than you, too, so you can stop pretending like you have some sort of tenure over us, m-kay?), even though you don't say a word behind closed doors to upper management about how we really should get a raise because just look at all the shit we do, right? Even though you pretend like you do. We can tell when you lie. Believe us, we can. Oh, and YOU would have to be the one to send out the Christmas presents that you should have not only shopped for on your own, but should be proud to send out on your own. Because, um, aren't you the gift-giver? At least we paid for them with your credit card, so we certainly fucking hope you are...

We're not lower on the totem pole just because we perform a different function for the company. We're your co-workers. So stop treating us like shit that you accidentally stepped in on your way in from the parking lot this morning (or this afternoon, or whenever it is you find it reasonable for you to stumble in the office today). We deserve as much respect as we are expected to give you, dammit. And you're an asshole motherfucker if you think otherwise.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to go type a letter for you, because it seems that in all your years of training and schooling, and superiorness in the job world (because, after all, you are a great manager and we are just an admin, so that must mean we're more stupid than you, right? Oh, I'm's "stupider", isn't it. Pardon me.), you've forgotten how to actually do something as simple as pull up a template within MS Word and follow the goddam examples/fill in the blanks to create your own letter without our help.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.


lyn said...

can we just say fucktard? that about sums it up.

Faith said...

Actually, I'm just playing the part of frustrated admin today for all under-appreciated admins that bust their asses every day for their bosses. My bosses are actually pretty good to me. But the people around me that work in the same capacity and do a great job every day need a little support from those of us who are lucky enough to not have to work for "managers" like she has to work for.

My bosses do ask me to do some pretty funny stuff sometimes. Luckily, it's easy as hell, and I don't mind doing it, really. But some bosses are full of themselves. And they sicken me.