Friday, July 30, 2004

Life on the edge of insanity...

I'm heading toward crash-and-burn mode, energy-wise. Sucks.

And I'm scaring myself with how close I am to telling off a manager in my region. She's really, really, really dumb, guys. I think I've met hamsters that are smarter than this woman, seriously. She's one of those people that give excuses as to why they did something wrong, and the excuse simply makes no sense, and has nothing to do with anything you were talking about. First of all, I hate people who make excuses for shit. Secondly, please pull your head out your ass enough to notice that you're calling the sky green and the grass blue, you dimwit. No! I don't want to hear that you were hanging upside down at the time that you first saw it, and that's why you thought it was like that! I just want you to realize that you did something wrong, try retain the mistake in the black hole that is your memory, and find the ability to avoid making the mistake again tomorrow! OK? Ok...

I think she has a kid or two, too. That's what truly scares me about the stupid people...most of the ones I've met have reproduced, and the product of their madness is wandering the earth somewhere...could be your neighbor, for all I know! Watch out for idiots wandering loose in your yard...they might just think they're in their own yard, and didn't realize that they'd crossed the property line, or something.

I know it's horrible, but I'm almost hoping she'll realize at some point that I'm totally inferring that she's a complete nimrod by the tone I use in my e-mails, and go home crying because of it. That way, I could at least have the rest of the afternoon off from her.

2 more hours. 2 more hours, and I can hit the road, have a glass of wine, and then head out for my date. Damn. Those are gonna be a looooonnnng couple of hours, baby! Hope everyone else is free of the idiocy today. :)

Another Friday Full of Random...

I was watching "Valley Girl" as I got ready for work this morning. Ok, actually, as I lounged on the couch after I had dried my hair. Anyway, the prom scene was on, and that band plays the song "Johnny, Are You Queer?" And now it's stuck in my head. Dammit.

I spoke up via e-mail about how I was being ignored in a work situation, and said that it was starting to "sting a bit". And the manager who was doing it (essentially at the same level as my boss...I really didn't want to step on any toes, due to that fact) apologized and said it was all her fault, and she'd make sure not to leave me out of the loop any more. Good. That's done, then. :)

Today, we have free lunch being offered to us by another office location. Yeah, it's Olive Garden, but it's still free. And I like their salad and breadsticks, man. Shoot me.

Tonight is my date with the New Guy I Haven't Met Yet. He's from Match. Man, he's cute. Well, at least in my opinion. He has a really great face, I think. I'm really looking forward to meeting him. I hope it will help me figure out what to do with the Randall situation...speaking of which...

Randall will be flying in tomorrow night. Yay! He'll be here until Tuesday. We're going to go bowling, and he will watch NASCAR on Sunday, and he's going to make me dinner again, and I'm really looking forward to it all. Except the NASCAR. That's something I've been lucky enough to avoid in the boys I've dated thus far in life. But I was bound to fall for one at some point, I spose. At least he's cute...that helps. :)

I keep getting bit by these invisible little stinging bugs when I go out on my back porch in anything other than pants. They leave welts that start to swell immediately, and they itch like a motherfucker! Last night, I went out to clip a couple of bloomed roses, and when I came back in 2 minutes later, there were the welts, on my right thigh. After last week's issue with them, I figured out how to handle them. First, I put some Benadryl spray on them ASAP. Then I get an ice pack on them, as that mellows the swelling, and stops the itching. After 10 minutes of that, I put Neosporin on them, again, to help the swelling, and also it helps alleviate the redness.  And today, they're mellow...just itching a little bit, but not nearly as bad and welty as the ones I got last week were. What the hell is it that's getting me, though, I wonder??? It's soooo weird.

And now I must find music to move me. Good night, my babies.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Woo! day's almost done!

It's almost 5:15!!

In other news, the seat-shitter returned today. Perhaps a sign needs to be put up in the bathroom. Would they notice a sign? Or are they too busy making messes they don't clean up? Freaks...

What would I put on a sign? Hmmm...

Dear Seat-shitter,

As this is a public restroom, you are given the permission to come to the logical assumption that you aren't the only person using this toilet. While you may think that marking your territory is guaranteeing you the sole use of this particular stall, I can assure you that what it is actually doing is grossing people out, making us wonder how fucktards like you actually get jobs in big, shiny office buildings, and making us simply wish that you would figure out how to carry around a fucking bottle of Lysol Bathroom Cleaner w/ Bleach, so you can clean up after your damned self after you make the little messes you make.

I assume you aren't an idiot 12 year old that's sneaking into the 5th floor ladies' room in this building in order to take a public dump every now and then, so please, have some tact. Start aiming for the goddamed hole, and have a nice day.

The folks who LIKE to pee in a clean bathroom!

The politics are moving, uh-huh...

I HATE the company politics going on right now. I'm pissed that I have to force myself into a situation that I shouldn't have been ignored in, in the first place. And I hate that my boss is being shit all over the way he is! It's crap. Nothing but crap, I tell you.

And so I am updating my resume.

Dammit...this was my one constant. Now everything seems to be changing. Fuck me.

I'd like to be able to look back and see what happens when we all leave, though. This region would be in a shambles. And I'm not just saying that because I'm dilusional and insane with power. It will be a MESS. My boss has been here for over 6 years, and I've been in my position for almost 3. People rely on us for just about everything. And now that the politics are finding their way to squeeze around us ("Oh, pardon me...I just need to do this teeny-tiny part of YOUR job, and then I'll be out of your hair again. Alrighty? Buh-buy!" Fuckers...), we're just expected to sit by, watch it happen with a smile, and go on about our other daily business? Well, you know what Assholes? If you don't need our help with those particular things, then maybe you can do without us on all the other items we handle. Have fun, jerkweeds!

I need help updating my resume, though. I'm not good at that sort of thing at all. And like I said, it's been almost 3 years since I've had to do anything like that, so it really, really sucks. I just wish things would get better rather than worse. Dammit.

Change - is it such a dirty word?

It feels like so much is changing this week. I met a new friend last night that seems really, really cool, and I look forward to hanging out with her again. I talked to my ex ex (who I actually haven't seen for a couple of weeks now...), and since we're both starting to see new people that we see loads of potential in, we've decided that continuing our extra-curricular activites would be a bad idea. But I have to say that his "help" was soooooo appreciated! I sent him an e-mail this morning saying as much. He really was there for me when I needed him, and it was like I was seeing a different side of him. I think that we could actually wind up being (*gasp!*) friends after all this. I'm very at peace with that thought, too. Which is nice. I like it when I think of something and it puts a smile on my face. I am kind of sad that we won't be able to hang out like that anymore, was really helping me to keep the whole Randall thing at a level that was working for me, to a certain extent. However, I have a date set up with an adorable guy that I can't wait to get together with tomorrow night. I'm kind of freaked out about what's going to happen at this point, though. I mean, if I don't feel any spark with the new guy, then I can expect it as a sign that I should focus more on what can actually develop between Randall and I, I suppose. But if there is a spark? What to do then? I'm not very good at the whole dating-two-people-at-the-same-time-thing. But I don't want to fall for someone too quickly again. And seeing more than one person seems to be a good solution for that. And Randall said something the other night about things having changed between us due to his visit last week. I mean, obviously, we know each other a bit better, and all. And we know that we have chemistry for sure now, which is nice. But I'm just left wondering how long I will be able to keep going with the whole attitude about not falling too hard for someone too soon when it comes to Randall. It's a stumper, for sure!

Taking it day by day...that's all I can do. And it seems to be working for the most part. I just need things to slow down around me for a while. At least work is constant in and of itself. Thank God for that...even if the constant is that it's always full of it's little annoyances and mistakes and hair-pulling moments. It has some fun moments, too. And I can sleep at night, so I can count on that staying the same. And I loooooovvvve sleep. So that's a nice constant. It's the time between when I head home from work, and before I hit the sack, that is difficult for me. My mind is always on men, and whether I'm doing the right thing, and whether I should call him, and blah, blah, blah.

Will I ever grow out of it? I hope so...(sort of.)

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

To Swap or Not To Swap...

Anybody see that "Switching Wives" show, or whatever it's called, on Fox this week? It was being shown on Monday and Tuesday, and I was lucky enough to stumble across it, and get stuck on it long enough to be sucked in by the nasty blond that will definitely be going to hell.

Oh my GOD!! Does this woman realize what a hypocritical, steaming pile of crappy mom that she is??? If she didn't know it before, will she recognize it in herself after having watched how she behaved?

Part of the fun of the show is that they give the families $50,000 to spend however they want at the end of it. What they didn't tell them, though, was that the moms who swapped homes get to choose how it will be spent at the house they were visiting. Now, this is where the blond did the right thing. She was very generous, and focussed the money on bills that need to be paid, and items like that, but left some over at the end for the kids to spend on themselves, and that sort of thing. It was sweet. However, the other chick (who seemed cool as shit, man...) gave the entire $50,000 to her would-be mother-in-law. Because they really bonded, apparently. And the woman worked her fingers to the bone around that house, which seems totally out of line to me, but whatever.

At the very end of the show last night, they showed a little interview with the blond bitch talking about how she was glad that the other mom had given all the money to Nana. "Because she's in a much better tax bracket for that sort of thing than my husband and I are. I mean, it's totally different. Much lower. So it's good, really, that she gave it to her."

Ok, is this bitch saying that they're going to be taking the money from Nana and using it as they please anyway? Hopefully, it's enforced somehow by the network...but the whole tax bracket comment was WAAAAAAYYYYY out of line, man! How can a person BE that conceited?? GAH!!!

I don't wanna talk about it...

I just want to stop thinking about it. So I'll just say right now, once and for all that I lost my small claims case. Since the people who sold me the house didn't actually cause the damage to the sewer pipe (well, since I can't prove that they did), they cannot be held liable for fixing it. It apparently doesn't matter that they, in essence, lied to me about the existence of the hole. And their ignorant train of thought that having a hole in one's sewer pipe is an okeydokey thing to have in your backyard wasn't something I could fight against. They're just dumb people. Really, really nice people...but dumber than dirt, apparently.

Lesson learned, folks. Before you buy a house ever, make sure to go over every single item on the Seller's Disclosure with a fine-toothed comb, and that things like sewers or septic tanks are items that have been inspected by the licensed inspector you hired to help you make sure that things are in working order around the home. Also, if there's a shed in the backyard that the seller's say they can "take or leave", look inside of it before you decide you want them to leave it. Because the floor could be rotted out, and it might never be a place you would store you spare Cousin It, much less where you would put your lawnmower to protect it from the elements. (It did provide some entertaining moments for some of my best friends and I when we were tearing the mother down, though...Hard work, but it was worth it, I think...)

That is all.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

How I Identify With Re-runs

Watching a Sex and the City re-run tonight, I saw something that totally hit home with me. Charlotte was dating a man that she'd been with for weeks, but they hadn't had sex yet. This is an unusual situation for any woman that's dating (especially when you're in your 30's, it seems), so she finally asked him if it was her that was the problem. He told her he was on Prozac, and simply didn't have a need for it. He didn't feel it was important to his life at all. He asked her if she wouldn't rather be with a man that was nice and didn't think about only sex all the time. She thought about it (and this is Charlotte we're talking about here...the one character that seems focussed more on monogamy and marriage and not sleeping with a man on the first date and all that...), and she said, "No!"

This rings so true with me, as since my last relationship, I've turned into a character from Sex and the City, it seems. It was a mess, my friends. I had been with a man that I had convinced myself I loved, and yet we weren't sleeping together. At all. We had talked about the relationship I'd been in prior to ours once, and I said that my ex and I had had such a was something unexplainable to me. The then-current love o' my life said, "You were both horny. That was the connection." And I accepted that as seeming to be somewhat true, and went along on my merry way in my new relationship. My new relationship which, after the first month had passed, had become completely sexless.

Thing is, I wound up convincing myself that my drive and need for a companion that wanted sex as much as I did was the wrong thing. I started thinking that all this time I'd been placing too huge of a weight on what sex brought to the relationships I was in, and that somehow, I'd been ignoring all the other things that need to be focussed on in a relationship. And I couldn't have been more wrong! But because I was in a sexless relationship, I tried to adjust my thinking to be more like his.

The problem with that is that I'm not on Prozac. I WANT to have sex with the man I'm dating. I have a normal sex drive for a woman my age, and I have no problem with exploring my opportunities to their fullest. Sex IS an important part of getting to know someone you want to spend more time with. Whether you've been with them for a week, or if you've been with them for 4 months, or if you've been with them for 20 years. Sex. Is. Good. It's also very essential to developing through changes that happen in relationships. It's a togetherness that doesn't change so much as the other things about you being with someone else will. Admittedly, one partner might not want it as much as the other sometimes, and in a healthy person, I think that's normal. But that closeness that comes with being in a lovely, sexual, committed relationship with someone else is just...well, it's just right.  I don't know how else to put it.

Not that I would ever tell another person what should and shouldn't work for them. But for me? Sex needs to be a part of the relationship. At least somewhat regularly. It tears me apart otherwise. Turned me into an insecure messy fool by the time I'd left my last relationship, and I don't ever see myself walking into another situation like THAT again, that's for damned sure.

I need to watch more Sex and the City, I think. It really helps me feel a bit more like I'm in the norm. Whatever the norm may be, that is...

Tuesday, Shmuesday...

After a Monday filled with family bullshit, wondering if I would be able to see my lovely pilot this week, and co-workers acting like asshats - again!, I'm actually looking forward to spending half of today in court fighting for my piddly $600. (Shhh...don't tell the office, but I plan on giving up the rest of the day to the "court", whether I'm still there after 3 or not. I have sick hours to use however I want, goddamit. And today, I want to spend them making chili and walking on my treadmill. Unless, of course, I'm actually still sitting in court waiting for my case to be called up. I really, really don't like imagining that scenario. Cuz I forgot my book at home, and I can't go back to get it before I head over to the courthouse.)

Lovely pilot will not be able to make it into town today. I expected it, really. In the past 7 days, he's had a whole 10 hours where he's been at home, and has been called up for early flights for the past 3 days. (Um, has to wake up at 4:30-type of early flights...yikes!) I'd want to stay at home if I were him, too. BUT, his days off in August switch to Sunday, Monday, Tuesdays, which means he can fly in on a Saturday, which gives us one morning to sleep in together when he comes to visit, which is just a wonderful thought. :) He'll be back next week instead.

So this week, I get to "play" with some other friends. Because, otherwise, I will fall too hard too fast, and I simply cannot fathom going through all that heartbreak again.

I keep wondering why it is I met Randall at this point in time, though. So quickly after the last nasty break-up, and all. My friend calls it "serendipity". (She just talks that way all the time, I swear...) I don't know what it is, but I hate it when guys start talking about introducing me to their friends and family and all that when we haven't even committed to each other yet! (Especially when I'll have to fly to another STATE in order to meet them, no less...) I mean, it's nice that he wants me to meet them, of course. And I think it's super-sweet that he's already told them about me. But it gets my head into a place that it shouldn't be so early on in a relationship. My hopes are raised, and my expectations start moving themselves around in a seemingly involuntary sort of fashion. How does one get a grip on such activities of the heart before they get out of control, and live lives of their own?

But he does have promise, my friends. There's no doubt about that.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Where the hell did the word "sundry" come from, anyway?

This is a post full of randomness, because I'm in a random mood, apparently.

My boss rocks. Not just because he's so cool about the time off I need to take from time to time, or because he's right up on the cuss-meter along with me when we're talking shit in the office, or even because he always has my back when I ask him to help me out. No, it's because last week, when my co-worker called out to him to bring back presents as he left the office to run errands, he actually asked what she wanted. She, of course, said she was kidding. But when he came back, he had big snack bags of mini chocolate chip Teddy Grahams for the both of us. Eeeee! Has anybody tried these things? They're like Chips Ahoy mixed with Cookie Crisp cereal...I looooove them!

And tomorrow is my big court date. I've never been to court before. I'm prepared as prepared could be, but I'm afraid the judge won't like me, and will wind up sympathizing with the defendants, or something. I cannot imagine how the whole thing will play out, and how nervous I'll wind up being, or if it'll just feel natural as I step up to the podium (is there a podium?) to say my piece in the most professional and perfectly described way as I can. I've got supporting docs, and pictures, and letters that I sent to the defendants asking them to give me my money without having to get to this point...It's all been filed neatly into a folder in an order that makes it easy for me to find what I'll need as soon as the judge asks me for it. But I'm freaking out about the whole thing. It's JUST small claims, though...and it's not like it's the goddamed People's Court, or's mellow old Johnson County court. MAN, I hope it goes well! (For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, the people who sold me my house in September last year didn't tell me that there was a hole the size of a cat in my sewer pipe - they preferred to call it the "clean out valve", which, I can assure you, it was not. When my toilet backed up in February, it backed up right into my backyard. And then we had a rainstorm or two, and the hole in the pipe was exposed for what it was, because the dirt all around it totally eroded - INTO the pipe, no less - and in the end, I had to shell out $600 for everything to be fixed, and for the proper kind of clean out valve to be installed...I'm asking the people who sold me the house to pay me back, because of the way they disclosed the hole to me in the paperwork for the sale of the home. I think it's only fair.)

It is a beautifully perfect day again here in the Kansas City metro. Supposed to be a high of about 77 again, with barely any wind, and not anything but lovely little puffy clouds in the sky. I can't wait to head out to grab lunch in a bit. It's not supposed to be like this in Kansas City at the end of July, my friends. Is it one of the signs of the apocolypse? If so, I wish they were all so pretty and pleasant to deal with...

Oh. My God. My boss has a meeting with one of the cutest guys I've seen in a long time right now. He's wearing a dark suit and a good tie. He is taaaaaallll. He has blue eyes. (I met him two seconds ago, and already noticed his eye color...THAT is how good looking he is!) I'm so glad I'm wearing cute clothes today. :) I really, REALLY hope we hire him. I mean...DAMN! (I at least hope that he doesn't mind it when I jump his bones before he leaves the office...)

And that's all I got for now. Yee-haw!

Waiter? There's a bug in my tree...

I have a problem that I don't know how to handle. Well, I do, but I'm pretty sure it will involve a stack o' cash, and that is not something I have right now, unfortunately!

I was out in my yard yesterday, doing yardy things, and came across the carcasses of some bugs. I've seen the carcasses before, the last time I was preparing to mow out there...they're big. About an inch and a half to two inches, minimum, and they're about the width of my big toe. Actually, when I look at it, they're about the size of my big toe. Only not nearly as pretty. Maybe if I could paint their heads pink, they wouldn't look so very nasty to me...

Anyway, these bugs are dead, which is helpful. But I realize there are several of them, and they seem to be directly under my largest tree in my front yard. One of them, in fact, is still clutching a piece of branch from the tree. So I look up. I'm horrified to notice that there are many of these bugs that are simply frozen in a somewhat winding path up the trunk of my tree into some of the lower branches. They're frozen because they are dead.

Now, I'm all for dead bugs as opposed to live ones wreaking havoc in my yard. If they aren't crawling towards me while I'm investigating them, then I'm a happy girl. But what I'm not happy about is the question of what the hell they might be doing to my tree! It's my plan to have my trees "pruned" this year in the fall, for which I am trying to save up as much money as possible. (This tree pruning can cost anywhere from $500  - $800, depending on how many trees there are that need work done, and how much I decide I want done...sometimes, owning a home sucks.)  But now that I might have a diseased tree, what will that mean? Will I have to cut the whole thing down? Does it just need to be treated with a pesticide, and if so, then how often? And how the hell much does THAT cost? This is the biggest shade producer for my house, too...I don't really want to see it go.

So I'm in a bit of a tizzy this morning over that. I just spent the last half hour looking through websites to see if I could find a picture of the "little" guys, but I can't. I don't know what kind of tree it is (although I would assume it's some form of oak...), and while I think the bug might be in the beetle family, I can't be sure. Plus, after checking out some websites, it's amazing to me how many different types of beetles there are, and how much they differ in how they look. So I'm frustrated.

Anybody know anything about big-toe sized beetle-type bugs that attack oak (maybe) trees in the Midwest? Any idea what they might be, or have a website I can search on to perhaps figure it out before I call a tree guy and get taken for a ride? I guess I can always pop one into a baggy and take it to a local nursery for info...but, eeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!! Don't want to touch them. At all!! GAHHHHH!

If not, then wish me luck. Searching bug sites this early in the morning is definitely keeping my usually voracious appetite at bay. So naseaus, I could just cry...

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Welcome to the land of Blah

Nothing is going on today. I did yard work, had my local state senator drop by to ask me to vote for her (um, hell yeah I'll vote for you! You're (a) a chick, (b) republican, (c) incumbent, and (d) a hot blond!! You're as good as in, babay!), and went to dinner with a dear old friend. Now I'm at home trying to figure out what to do until I go to sleep in about 3 hours, and I can't think of a darned thing. Tried calling a boy, but he was doing something and asked if he can call me back. *sigh!* Guess it's bound to be a lazy Sunday evening, and nothing else.

I will ask you this, though: Is there any candy that is as tasty and refreshing as a Junior Mint? I think not...say what you will about your fave candy, but mine is a dark chocolate coating around a center of creamy minty goodness. That is what I call the perfect candy, fo sho. Comment away, and let me know what it is that YOU crave when you're in a sweet mood...

Saturday, July 24, 2004

*Sigh!* Happy, happy...

Randall stayed waaaaayyyy later than we had planned. My fault, it seems. He didn't hear the alarm go off at 6:45 this morning, and the next time I looked at the clock, it was 7:15. We had to leave in about 10 minutes in order for him to catch his flight at that point. There was no way. Soooo, we slept in, sort of, and he went to catch a 1:20 flight instead. Which is stuck on the ground due to maintenance issues. Gah!

So now I know...when the alarm goes off, I need to poke him to make sure he's awake. Or just let it go off until he figures out how to turn it off himself, or something. I feel terrible about it. But, of course, he's a sweetie, and he's dealing with it accordingly. :) We're really very lucky that they haven't called him in to work today, is the deal. He can get in a lot of trouble for flying while he should actually be waiting to be called, so I'm hoping that things go smoothly enough for him the next couple of days. And he'll be back on Tuesday night, it seems. Unless he changes his mind between now and then.

I love the initial feeling of being sucked in like this. But I know how very bad it can be for me to fall so quickly for someone. So, I'll continue to date other people, and try to keep my mind off of him for a bit. So, really, this'll be my last post about it for a while. I swear. No...really. Kick my ass if you see anything that bears resemblance to pilot talk, or any name that starts with the letter "R". Because I canNOT fall for this guy like this. Not yet, anyway...

Need to go check out some of the blog-a-thon posts now...Hope y'all are having fun with that, if you're a participant!

Friday, July 23, 2004

I don't understand...

Ok. I'm done with people today. I just went into the ladies' room, and went to my "regular" stall, and someone had shit on the seat.

(A) HOW does one go about shitting on the seat, per se?
(B) How does one go about shitting on the seat, and not clean it the fuck UP when they realize they have shit on the goddam seat??
(C) Does this person work on my floor, and if so, they have obviously managed to avoid shitting on the seat before, or they cleaned it up, or something. So why couldn't they have done so this time?

It doesn't matter, though. I don't care if you're stopping at a Shell station to let one fly when on a road trip from North Dakota to clean up after yourself, gosh darnit!! We are not bears in the goddamed woods, for Pete's sake! We're human beings! We need to do our part to keep public places clean and happy and habitable for those around us. So remember, the next time you want to cover yourself with some stinky perfume in a public restroom, some women don't even wear perfume, and might not like smelling like yours after simply stepping into the space where you decided you needed to reapply yours halfway through the day. And we all need to share the counter space, and leaving it wet and ucky with soap might be a more inconsiderate way to share it than cleaning up if you get a bit over-excited about washing your hands or if your child uses it and has a water-war with it's reflection in the mirror, or something. And just one more thing: if you do anything and some of it accidentally gets on the seat, or in any other visible place other than deep within the bowl itself, clean. it. UP! I mean, DAMN!!

Did I mention this yet?

I am soooo very, very, very, very, VERY glad it is Friday. This is the best Friday ever, because I need it to be Saturday tomorrow in the biggest way. I need sleep, and to putter around in the yard and do yardy shtuff, and to hang out tomorrow night and not have to worry about going to work the next day.

I did sleep last night, for the record. Went to bed at about 10:30, in fact. Randall kept asking me if anything was wrong all night. "No," I said. "This is just me on only 2 and a half hours of sleep, my friend!" It was hard to hold back certain things that crossed my mind fleetingly...when I'm super-tired, those things find ways of just slipping right past my relationship firewalls, and mayhem could ensue. But I pulled it off. He kept asking me what was on my mind. I finally said that there were loads of little things going through my head, but they weren't things that needed to be shared at this particular point in time. He seemed very accepting of that fact. He did throw the whole, "What do you want from this thing?" question at me. It was my fault, I think. I asked him what his motivation was for being here, being with me, behaving as he is. He said it's my "awesome" personality that's driving it right now. He really likes being around me and talking to me. (Awwwww!) So when he asked me what I wanted, I was very honest with him, and explained that I'm seeing other people, and that I'm not ready for a new relationship just yet. Also, I told him the distance thing might be hard on a girl like me, but it is really perfect for what I'm going through right now. Again, he was really receptive of all this info, and we both agreed that taking it day to day and just letting things happen as they're supposed to will be our path of choice for now. 

He's coming back next week to visit again. :)

(And I promise, this is not becoming a blog entitled "Frighteningly Full of Randall"'s just what's in my world right now, is all.)

History as taught in Missouri...

We have a radion station here in KC called "The Buzz". 96.5, or something. Anyway, every Friday, they call it "F-You Friday" on the morning show, because all week, they allow people to call the special "F-You Friday" line and record their fuck you message to whomever they want to send it out to, and then they play a few of them in a row between commercials, and stuff. It can be fun to listen to. Sort of...

Anywho, just now, they had one from a guy who first started out saying fuck you to some person he knew, but then he went on to say the following: "And F-You, George Bush. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You Hitler."

Ok, I could be really off base here, but either this guy had completely different history lessons about Hitler taught to him while he was growing up than what I learned (even so, ever seen the History Channel? They have some shows about Hitler on every now and then...maybe he should catch one of those and learn something that way...), or he sincerely has some sort of info about George Bush that somehow parallels him to Hitler.

I'm just baffled. George Bush? And HITLER? Just soooooo cannot be paralleled, in my book. I can see Hitler and maybe Saddam being compared to one another. Or maybe Hitler and some of those militant rebels that are leading little horrible fights against the citizens of certain countries in Africa. But I don't see the Hitler/Bush connection at all.

I might be a complete idiot, though. I've noticed that some complete idiots are totally blind to the fact that they, in fact, are complete idiots. Maybe that's the case with me. :P

Thursday, July 22, 2004

I can't edit myself, so watch out!

Blogger is broken, and I can't edit my last test post with the photo thing. Oh well...I think I've figured out a way to post some stuff...they have to be linky-poos, but you guys don't mind, right? Check it out!

Here's the only pic I got of Joelle, Lyn, and myself. Funny, Joelle said after we took the photo that she thought she would look bad, because she thought she smiled too hard. Somehow, Satan managed to manifest himself in my face instead, though...and Joelle just looks beautiful, as usual!

I look less Satanish in this photo of me and my Twin. I think she looks great in the photo, though. :)

And here is the Matt Damon photo. I had to call to my Twin to get her head out the goddam way, cuz she kept walking in front of hm, and I thought I was going to have to put the smack down on the security guard that was standing right in front of me when I took the picture, but everything finally worked out. And the Twin even got her silly-ass grin into the shot.

Ok...on to other shtuff...

Randall is here. *sigh!* We had dinner, and we had drinks, and we talked and talked. He is SUCH a keeper! And so I curse Cleveland for being as far away from KC as it is...damn you, Cleveland!!! You are very, very lucky that the boy is a pilot, and can come to visit me easily. Because otherwise, oh fair Land of the Cleves, let me assure you that I would deliver such an ass-whooping, you wouldn't be able to remember where you first got your cleves from!

See...I'm tired. So please excuse the rambling shit about cleves, and all. I just talked to Randall, and told him we are sleeping tonight, dammit. He said, "Ok...", but I don't believe him. Oh well...I'll sleep on Saturday. ;)

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Attempting to add photos...

Ok, let's see what happens, shall we? Here is the Matt Damon shot that I got:

I don't know if that worked...bear with me through the testing. I'm gonna publish now, and see what happens...(Oh, and if it did work, no cracks about my crappy photo quality. My camera is from around 1983, and I'm well aware that I need a new one! I just need the funds, man...)

I love it when my horoscope is nice to me...

Hee! I liked this one today: "Overview: You'll be turning your attention toward only the most intimate matters for the next day or so, and the lucky, delighted recipient will return that attention in most charming manner."


Upper management freaks can bite me!

I've spent a majority of my morning sending several e-mails explaining standard processes to a new manager who makes 3 times the salary I do, and that's before bonus. She's making little to no sense in the e-mails she's sending me asking for my help, and can't even spell the word "sense" in one of them. (She said, "Does that make since?" Um, no, doesn't make "since". Not at all. GAH!!)

I need to go mail my car payment to my dad...maybe that will help me get in a different place this morning. Stupid managers making TONS more money than me...hate 'em, hate 'em, HATE 'EM!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 it Wednesday already? Almost?

Ok, busy night has been had. 3 loads of laundry, nails were painted, bathroom was scrubbed clean, the sprinkler was run in the front lawn, and I was somehow convinced by the lovely, fabulous pilot to leave the back lawn alone so he can mow it on Thursday while I'm at work. Oh. My. God. Is he for real? Dammit! WHY does he have to live in Cleveland??? :)

Really, though, it's been a good night...I can feel the cold saying buh-bye, and I have energy back, and I'm happy. That's right, my friends...I'm a happy girl. Really, I've got so little to complain about right now (except at work...of course!) that I'm wondering why I bitch at all about anything!

Now, I don't know if a certain person still reads this stuff...but I'm feeling a bit preachy. Could be the wine, and it could be that I'm so antsy. But really, you will not be able to find happiness until you let things from your past go, dude. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But there's a certain peace that comes along with the release of those things and people that simply have nothing to do with your life any more. You can either let them eat away at you, or you can accept the new people into your life that bring you joy, and make you feel good about who you are and help you realize that you might finally be making some good choices. Every once in a while, they'll come creeping back in. You'll hear a song, or you'll read an old letter/e-mail, and WHAM! There they are in your head again. Hell, the dead boyfriend came to me last night, and gave me shit. I told him to suck it, and to just step back for now...hopefully he'll respect that. But you have to surrender to the pain that you've already felt, and then allow yourself to feel some good stuff with someone new. Or on your own, even! Just stop allowing the past to control your current relationships. That includes the relationship you have with yourself. It's only hurting you. And badly...

Ooh! Towels are done! I'd better run...Night!

Back from the dead...sort of.

Man. Being out of the office for 4 days and a weekend is rough! I've spent all morning dealing with some issues, printing out others so I can deal with them this afternoon, and catching up with the co-workers. But I'm trying to talk as little as possible, which makes the catching up a bit tougher than it usually might be. My throat seems to be the lingering location for the cold at this's dry and wants me to cough constantly. But I will not give it the satisfaction! Mostly because it's starting to give me a headache to cough that much...and it's annoying. Really, really annoying. *cough, cough!* See? Annoying as hell...bastard cough!
Randall (the pilot) will be here tomorrow! Eeeee! I wish I could save the mowing that needs to be done to my backyard for when he gets here, but I really don't want to do that to a guest, no matter how much they say they love doing it. So I'm going to do it tonight myself. I'll be taking loads of breaks while doing so, though.
I'm confused about my personal life right now though, to be honest. After the Big Bad Breakup, I went to the ex for some lovin', which he was (and still is, God bless him) ready and willing to give whenever we're able to work it into our schedules. I wanted something to get my mind off of things, and that did it! I'm not ready to launch back into a relationship, though, which seems to be the ideal situation for the ex and me. We both still have strong feelings for each other, and we both are attracted as HELL to each other, too. But we both also know that when we're together together, it just doesn't work. So we keep our distance, really. He did call me this morning on his way out of town to see if I was doing ok, though. Which was awfully nice of him. Hmmm. Weird.
And then there's this pilot. How will this ever work, I wonder? We live far apart from each other, and would never get to see each other as much as I'd like to see a boyfriend, if it ever got to that level for us. I suppose that right now, I'm content with the wondering, and looking forward to seeing him when I get to. But if it ever got serious, which wouldn't be for a while mind you, what happens then? Could I even ever get serious with a person who has admitted to never having read a book in their life? (He's not dumb, folks...he flies goddam airplanes. I'm pretty sure it takes a certain amount of smarts to run one of those suckers, and to do it safely...) I mean, we're just so different in so many ways. Oh well...plenty of time to find out.
And then there's Jim. From He's adorable, and local, and new, and I'm really, really looking forward to meeting him soon. (He's actually not all that new...we were chatting after I broke up with the ex in January, and then I got things started with the ex again, and dumped all the boys I was chatting with, and then the ex and I broke up again a week later. For some reason, I focussed on Patrick as opposed to Jim after I broke it off the second time with the ex, and we all know how THAT ended up...)  BUT, Jim is a virgo. Bleh. Virgos and I, according to history, just don't mix. But I really hate to hang a blossoming relationship on something as inane as astrology. While it seems to be pretty darned spot on about loads of things, I just think that there are so many other outside forces that make things work when it comes to relationships. Past experiences with girlfriends/boyfriends, mental ability to handle a relationship, stregth of character, etc...So, I'm going to give him a chance. And the thing that makes this one different from the other boys I've dated recently (within the past 2 years) that I met on Match? He wrote to me first. So I'm being pursued in this case. That bodes well for the whole thing, in my mind, anyway.
Ok, that ends this portion of totally useless information programming for today. Tune in tomorrow for updates to the grass-cutting saga, and my exploits regarding finding the perfect potato for baking when I go to the store tonight.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Home sweeeeeet home...

Ok, I'm home. I'm still really sick, and calling in sick for at least a half day tomorrow, but I'm home!
This might put a huge damper on the visit with Randall this week. Although, he is being very cool about it. I'm sure I'll be better by Wednesday...right? I mean, if I sleep tonight, and I don't stress too much tomorrow and all? It already ruined my night with another guy that I had planned on seeing tonight, dammit. So I'd BETTER be ok by Wednesday, is all I can say.
Still not up to figuring out how to post pics for everyone to see...but I'm sure I'll get to that tomorrow after I deal with some work e-mails first thing (eh-em, 9:30-ish?) in the morning. So keep an eye peeled!
Hope everyone had a stellar weekend. And that you didn't catch the sneezy cold that I did. Fucking cold. Bah!

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Not in the mood, really...

So. Very. Tired. I don't really want to blog, but wanted to publicly say thanks to Joelle and Lyn for coming out last night to hang with me and my sister for a bit. We had a really, really great time, and you guys are just SO much fun to chat with! Not that I expected anything otherwise. And the singing! Oh, were better than I even imagined, and I was imagining some pretty good shit. You guys rocked the house! So glad I had a chance to hear you finally...
And then Mikey came out to join us!! Eeee!!!! So much fun to meet him. He and Joelle are just adorable together, and it was just a blast to be able to hang out with you all, seriously. Thanks for clearing up the question of how to pronounce the title of your site, Mikey. It's been a point of contention for me and the Twin for a while, believe it or not. Of course, I lost. Dammit. But, now we know. :)
I'll try to get pictures up by tomorrow night. I need to figure out how to do it, and hopefully I'll be able to get my brain working well enough by then. The Matt Damon pic I took on Thursday turned out just as I'd hoped, yay! And though some of my other pictures apparently were too crappy to print, the one of Joelle, Lyn and I at the Lamplighter was great, and I want to pop that one up there for everyone to see. Too bad I didn't have my camera at AC, so I could get one with Mikey. :( Next time I'm in town, we'll have to make sure to get that taken care of.
Ok, I'm off to nap-world. It's a mellow, mellow day, man. I intend to keep it that way!

Friday, July 16, 2004

I'm just going to lay down now...

Bleh. I feel a bit warmed over. There's something threatening my throat, which could really change my week if it wins. So I'm taking some vitamins, drinking water, ate an apple, even...I hope it works.
I got a nap in, too. Funny though...once I turned off the t.v. for some serious sleep time, and set my alarm, I couldn't fall back to sleep again. Oh well! The body was done with it for now I s'pose. :)
So, I'm gonna swing by and pick up the Twin at work, and then we'll be on our way to SD, it seems. I think we've corralled our best friend M (and hopefully her adorable hubby A) to come along with, and I certainly hope to see Lyn and Joelle and maybe some other folks while we're down there tonight. According to my throat, though, it would be a bad thing to stay out too, too late. But a few hours of fooling around will be necessary, for sure!
Cheri asked me earlier what movie I went to last was the premiere for The Bourne Supremacy. And it was everything I'd hoped it'd be. That is my kind of action, man! (And I'm looking forward to hanging out when I get back, my friend...hang in there! We have sooooo much to talk about, hm? :P)
Ok, need to go get cleaned up and ready to head out the door. I can't believe my weekend is almost over! Before my nap, I was feeling a bit delirious, and was thinking that I was going to have to get up so early tomorrow to catch my plane, and that I couldn't believe it was over so fast. Then I woke up and realized that tomorrow is just Saturday. Totally confused about where my brain is!! But things have been kind of go, go, go since I got here. Late nights and lots of stuff going on. It's been a relaxing day today, at least. Thank goodness!
Hope everyone has a fun evening. Cross your fingers that the ick doesn't take over my throat today...or at least, if it does, that it's gone by Wednesday...Randall comes into town that day, I think, and I don't want to have a cold when I see him! Although, I get the feeling he wouldn't really care much. He is sooooooo sweet and attentive. Which is just such a lovely change. :)
Happy Friday!!

Well, I survived the night.

Ok, the movie was marvelous...which was what I expected. And I won't say anything else about it, really. Because you should go and see it yourselves. Nyah. :P
The afterparty wasn't as exclusive as I'd hoped it'd be, but we found a mellow spot to hang out in, and watched the people from there for a while. Some blond (and older) woman was wearing a black dress with one of those plunging necklines, and she had big hair and sparkly everything, and she stood around the front "door" for a while, waiting for God knows what. Yeah, she was interesting. And there was a woman that was in the theater that sat across from us that had on a cute outfit, but had a pink fuzzy purse that we all took notice of. My sister's co-worker (one of the recipients of the coveted 4 tickets Twin purchased) looked longingly at the bag because she was a bit cold, and she thought it might help to keep a person warm. Plus she wanted to pet it. She figured she wouldn't be able to ever have a furry bag, as she might be looked at as being odd by anyone she was with for continuously petting it. I decided that if I had a fuzzy bag ever, I would name it "Baggy". My sister and her co-worker decided they would have named this particular purse "Peaches". Because it was pink. And fuzzy. And that's all about that...(sorry...I'm a bit tired. Bleh.)
As the night wore on, we decided to move into the party a bit more and see who we could see. My sister had given the 4th ticket to a fan that had been bidding against her for them online, but who lost to my sister on the final day of bidding. Her name was Jeri Jo and she was from Indiana. Nice lady...she really was a sweetheart. And she kept saying how lucky she was to have been able to be attending the event with girls like us. (We were being quite silly...apparently she thought we were fun for it. I'm very glad about that...we can be annoyingly goofy at times.) Anyway, Jeri Jo moved a bit slowly, and once we got to the area where the movie's stars were at, we found a table to sit at for a bit. They had a wall of security around Matt and Ben and all those folks, so we couldn't get very close to them at fact, being somewhat average height myself, I couldn't even see them when I stood on my tippy toes. Oh biggy to me. I went and got another free drink. :) A "waiter" tried to take my sister's glass of wine that she wasn't finished with, and she protested, and he looked at her and said, "Are you with the Snyder party?" (The area we wound up in had had tables reserved for Universal Pictures bigwigs, it turned out...but they had mostly left by the time we found the table.) Both my sister and I looked at the guy, and we were all, "Dude, the Snyders left a long time ago...we're pretty sure they could give a shit if we're hanging out at their table." He walked away looking like he was just disgusted and appauled by our gall. Dumbass. We stayed there for a while, looking longingly at the wall of security a few feet away, talking about the different people we saw around us. And then these two older ladies tapped my shoulder and asked me, "Is Tracy Snyder gone?" I said, "You know, she must've left, because this table has been empty for a while." "That's too bad," they said. "Do you know when she left?" "No, no...I'm sorry! I think they might've gone upstairs, maybe?" They thanked me and went along their way. I had no idea who Tracy Snyder was, but now we had a first name to give super-pain-in-the-ass-waiter-dude if he gave us any more trouble. Nice old ladies...
So we sat a bit more. And then I felt another tap. I turned to find the same old ladies, and they asked me, "Are you with Universal?" No, I told them. "Oh. Do you know if any of them are still here?" I suggested that maybe the table next to us had Universal folks at it, because they'd all been there for a while, and they seemed pretty well established. "Well, sure! That's Cathy...of course they're from Universal," they said. Of course, I said. I knew Cathy was still there. I just didn't know where Tracy had gotten off to, I told them. "Oh. Well, thanks for your help, honey," they said, and they wandered off toward the crowd again.
I love old people who share info inadvertently. Hee!
So I turn back to the table, and tell my sister and the other girls what the old ladies had been asking me, and my sister says, "Cathy! Cathy is over at that table?" Apparently, Cathy was one of the people she'd spoken to over the past week about the tickets and the event and all that. So she gets up and heads over to the table to see what she could find out. Somehow, she found the person she needed to find, because she and Jeri Jo were lead behind the stronghold of security where they got to hug and kiss and take pictures with Matt. I got one snap, over the shoulders of security (big mean security guy said, "Ok, you have your picture, now move along..." Yeah, heck off, asshole...), and I can only hope it isn't just the top of Jeri Jo's head...I'll get them developed tomorrow and find out then. But Matt was a sweetie to them, and they got all kinds of pictures. It was fun. :)
Thank you strange old ladies, wearing too much pink lipstick, and chock full of seemingly useless info. You saved the evening for one very sweet fan from Indiana that flew in for one day in hopes of getting exactly what she got to do. Weird old ladies ROCK! :P
It was a good night. I was absolutely exhausted by the time we finally got home, though. I feel ok right now, but I might have a meltdown by 3 if I don't get a nap. Looks like Twin is up for heading to SD tonight, yay! I'm definitely up for some more fun! AND I have some film left over to burn, baby. Woo! So hopefully, I can get something planned in that area.
Wish I had better stories to tell. I didn't get to see George Clooney, but I did see Don Cheadle (sp?), and Jeri Jo was all over the place getting random autographs from some really nice actors, which was fun. (We couldn't read one of them...she's seen him in some movies, but she doesn't know his name. The autograph looked like "Gose Nideru" to me. Anybody heard of him? :P) And there were definitely plenty of people to look at, that's for sure. It was a good evening, really. I'm so stoked that the movie is as good as it is!
Thanks, Twin, for inviting me...I'm glad I could make it out here for the fun, and to be there to be the go-between for the little old ladies and yourself so that you could get in and say hey to Matt finally. Isn't it strange how some things work out? :)

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I'm Here!!

Well, after loads of airport fun yesterday, I finally made it safe and sound to Orange County. I slept well, I had a fun breakfast (missed you Carl's, Jr!), and am heading out in a few to go get a pedi at "Happy Nails".

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to tonight. I'm excited to see the movie before anyone else in the general public does, and I can't wait to see what kinds of celebrities will actually be at the after party that we get to go to! It should be an interesting night, to say the least, and I will report back tomorrow on all that happens, fo sho. I might even figure out a way to post some pictures, if they turn out ok.

So have a fun day, everyone! I'll be back tomorrow with more...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Too busy to even think straight...

Why is it that all the work comes pouring in the morning I need to get my ass out of here early, so I can take off on time for the airport? One of the managers has been playing dead all week, and he suddenly decided to come to life last night/this morning, and NOW he needs my help? Uh-uh,'re gonna have to wait until next week, now. Dumbass. (And he's my fave manager, usually...he's rapidly falling into the pit of hell, though, and I'm not going with him, that's for sure!)

So I just thought I'd say good-bye! I should be blogging as normal tomorrow, but the rest of today will be devoted to working, packing, and driving my ass to the airport.

So very excited! Have a good day, all!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Dinner and a Movie

Ok, this cracked me up last night. I was switching between the horrible, horrible new episode of "For Love or Money" on NBC and the Dinner and a Movie that was on TBS last night (don't know the name of it...Tim Robbins and Martin Lawrence were in it...stealing money? I don't know...), and happened to see the scene where Martin Lawrence is screaming at the Tim Robbin's character to "Get the heck in the car!" And we all know that Martin's character really said "fuck" and not "heck", but it's expertly dubbed, and all, so it sort of fits, I spose. But then they go to break, and it's time to catch up with the Dinner and a Movie cooks/hosts. And they're all making fun of the dub. The one guy even says that he prefers the bleeping over cuss words, because dubbing can get so ridiculous, but then the other guys says that then they wouldn't be able to make fun of it, which they all concede is true.

And they were saying things to each other like, "Heck you!" and "Sometimes, I seriously need a good hecking..." and "Would you just pass me the hecking eggs?" I was rolling around my hotel room laughing, because I had made the same connection right before the break, and thought it was a pretty good dub, had it not been Martin Lawrence's character saying it. Maybe Will Smith, or something, could pass it off better. But Martin Lawrence? I doubt that man's ever used the word "heck" in his life! So for the Dinner and a Movie folks to be making fun of it just really tied it all together for me.

And it was the first time I've ever thought, "Oh my God! I SO have to blog that tomorrow!" I must be coming into my blogness, or something. Hitting blog puberty? I don't know. I haven't started dreaming about blogging, so I'm not a full-grown blogger yet, but I'm just giving it time, really.

I'm such a copy-cat...

Lyn's my new favorite blog-friend. :) So I must copy her. Plus, I'm bored too...and I've been needing to do this meme for a bit, and just haven't gotten around to it. You all wanted to know more about me anyway, right? Okeydoke...

-- Name: Jennifer ("Faith" is my online name)
-- Birth date: 2/8/1974
-- Birthplace: Whittier, CA
-- Current Location: Overland Park, KS
-- Eye Color: Blue
-- Hair Color: Blond
-- Height: 5'5"
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

-- Your heritage: Hungarian/Irish on Dad's side; Polish/German on Mom's
-- The shoes you wore today: flat black sandals
-- Your weakness: Men
-- Your fears: Not being able to support myself
-- Your perfect pizza: Cheeseless pepperoni, black and green olive, with plenty of sauce.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Become a voice-over artist before I'm 35.

-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: I don't use AIM
-- Your first waking thoughts: Do I have to wash my hair today?
-- Your best physical feature: Eyes
-- Your most missed memory: Spending time at the lake in the mountains with my family.

-- Pepsi or Coke: Diet Pepsi in cans; Diet Coke on tap
-- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
-- Single or group dates: Single. I'm not in junior high any more...
-- Adidas or Nike: Nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee, if I have to.

-- Smoke: Yep. Only about a pack a week, at this point. Gah.
-- Cuss: Oh, HELL yeah!
--Sing: Um-hmmm. Looooove to sing.
-- Take a shower everyday: Most of the time. (Sometimes, not on Sundays...depends on if I do yard work or not...)
-- Do you think you've been in love: Far too many times. When have I NOT been in love, is a better question!
-- Want to go to college: Not again, thank you. One degree is enough for me.
-- Liked high school: Nuh-uh. I hated it.
-- Want to get married: Yes.
-- Believe in yourself: Yes!
-- Get motion sickness: Nope...not unless I'm really, really drunk.
-- Think you're attractive: Yes.
-- Think you're a health freak: No. I like to be healthy, but I'm not a freak about it.
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yes.
-- Like thunderstorms: NO! (I like the lightning. I dig the cloud formations. I HATE the noise...)
-- Play an instrument: Besides my voice? No.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoked: Yes, probly too much.
-- Done a drug: Nope. Unless you count the alcohol.
-- Made Out: Yeeeessss...been lucky enough to get some really lovely kissing out of a couple of boys over the past couple of weeks. Yay me!
-- Gone on a date: Yes.
-- Gone to the mall?: Yes.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: (Do people really do this?) No. But I'm almost through an entire bag of Cheetos Puffs. Somehow, I've made them last 3 days now...
-- Eaten sushi: Yes.
-- Been on stage: Nope.
-- Been dumped: Yes.
-- Gone skating: Nope.
-- Made homemade cookies: Nope.
-- Dyed your hair: Yes...thank GOD!
-- Stolen Anything: No!

-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: I don't think so...(I honestly cannot remember...)
-- If so, was it mixed company: If I did do it, then absolutely it was in mixed company.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.
-- Been caught "doing something": Yes. Housekeeper walked in on me and favorite boyfriend while I was on top once. (Lovely memory...) Favorite boyfriend's mom (that hated me, by the way) caught us making out with his hands up my dress in the pool room once. Favorite boyfriend's house was not good for secret rendevous, it seems...
-- Been called a tease: Nope. Not that I'm aware of, anyway.
-- Gotten beaten up: Nope.
-- Shoplifted: Candy from the bulk bins when I was about made me put it back when she found it in my pocket.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Apparently I do this, but I'm not aware of it. Is that possible to do, even?

-- Age you hope to be married: 32
-- Numbers and Names of Children: None...don't like kids.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Well, it would happen at a chateau in France's Loire Valley. Preferably in the early fall. Family, and some close friends would be there. That's all I've got so far. :)
-- How do you want to die: Peacefully. In my sleep. Der.
-- Where you want to go to college: I did go to college - at Pepperdine in Malibu.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: A voice over artist.
-- What country would you most like to visit: France.

-- Number of drugs taken illegally: none.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: At least 5.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Probably about 50? I have no idea, really...
-- Number of piercings: in each ear.
-- Number of tattoos: None. I'm clean baby! Not that people with tattoos are dirty, or anything...oh, you know what I mean!
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Maybe 4?
-- Number of scars on my body: 3 that are noticeable when I look for them/point them out.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: 1 - and I'm not a big advocate of regrets, but this one just won't go away. So I figure I must still regret it, even though it's been many, many years since it happened. *sigh!*


Co-worker strain is getting worse. I can totally understand the complaining that's happening, but I went through this all myself about a year ago, and I can only offer so much advice about how to handle the delirium that is J.W. We've had our fights, and I know how to handle her shit now. But since my other co-worker is J.W.'s admin now, SHE has to deal with all the crap that goes along with that responsibility. Which can range from anything like dealing with J.W.'s special attitude to having to make excuses for her to the higher-ups. But the thing is, I stopped making excuses for her ass. When I can't turn in a report because J.W. is the person holding me up, I send in an e-mail saying so to our Divisional office. And it's simply amazing what that woman can get away with, really. I guess it's no different than the amount of time I spend on the internet, really. But at least I'm here when people need me, is all I think.

Anyway...the day is starting off slowly. Checked out of the hotel this morning, and I've got a shitload to do at home tonight, so I might have to leave B high and dry this week, unfortunately. I've got to clean up, and then pack again, and hang the curtain rod in my bathroom window so my neighbors don't get a little peepshow tomorrow morning. I couldn't mow last night, because the way the constructions guys had stacked their materials up in my garage blocked me from being able to wheel the mower out. So I MUST mow tonight, and the lack of rain forces me to turn on my sprinkler in the front and back yard, which will be quite a production. (I only have one hose...)

And I just don't like yardwork all that much, you know? It's as though it's never-ending. Which can be very frustrating after a while...

And that's about as exciting as it gets right now. I'm really hoping that I get some good stories while I'm travelling and everything over the next few days. Randall called me last night, and we discussed the lovely perils of flying through Denver (which is where I have to fly into tomorrow for my connection) during thunderstorm season. I usually try to avoid's just sooo fucking bumpy! And he even hates you know that if a pilot hates it, then it can't be a fun thing. (He swears it's not that it's hard to control the plane, which is what it feels like to me as a passenger, really. Rather, he hates feeling like he's "travelling around in a 4X4 with blown shocks", which makes perfect sense to me...) He had to fly to Minneapolis and back to Cleveland (by way of Chicago, apparently...) yesterday. He got stuck in Minneapolis for a bit, though, as the plane he was supposed to take back home had been struck by lightening at some point. Usually, he says, it's just an in and out strike, and causes a couple of lightbulbs to go out. But in this case, the mechanics couldn't tell him what was wrong with it, and they finally had to find him another plane. He says he's never been struck before, and it seems like he wouldn't want to be, really. Which is odd, because he seems to really like the adventure side of flying. Says he likes to "make things fun for the passengers" if he can. I try to assure him that, as a passenger, we really prefer for things to be less "fun" and just smooth. Little buggar! I really can't wait to see him in a couple of weeks. :)

Ok, enough rambling. Time for work! Now if I could just find something to do....

Monday, July 12, 2004

Update (it's a boring one, though...)

The bathroom is grouted, painted, and the sink and toilet were both installed today while I was gone. YAY!!!! Looks like some paint touch ups need to happen, and they need to install my medicine cabinet and the bath fixtures, as well as the towel rack, but that's IT! (Oh, some caulking clearly needs to be done around the tub, and all...but that's speedy work, isn't it? I think it is...)

So, looks like I can check out of the hotel with confidence tomorrow morning. WOOHOO!!! I'm a very happy Faith tonight. Time to go celebrate...:)

PLUS, B is back in town this week, and I'm pretty sure we'll be getting together tomorrow night for drinks and general tom foolery.

And then I leave for Cali on Wednesday! Although I guess I've mentioned that about, oh, 30 times already today. Awww, so the fuck what, right? I'm going to Cali, baby! It's exciting, dammit. Recognize!

Nighty night night night...


Losing my mind. It's my own damned fault, though. I'm not an ass, though. Just a girl who was in love, and got trampled on. It hurts more than some people realize, I guess. And that's their prerogative. I guess I just thought they would be able to understand more than they apparently do. Which is what makes it all so hard to walk away from. *sigh!*

And falling in love with a blogger, moreover, was a terrible idea! Correction: falling in love with a blogger who wasn't in love with me back was a terrible idea. I love reading about this chick's experiences with her blogging love. And this one's must work for some. But I guess that's where I made my mistake. I had, yet again, fallen for someone who hadn't/wasn't going to fall for me. It's a nasty cycle, really. Wonder when it's going to stop?


I want to go home and see where they're at on my bath remodel. I'm sooooo excited! Only one more night in the hotel bed. Yay! Tomorrow, I'll be back to being at home, taking showers in my lovely new shower without the dot of paint in it from when I painted the walls and nasty old drain in it. Yay! Oh, and then I go to California the next day. Yay!

My shoulder still hurts, though. Dammit.

Feelin' goooood...:)

My post on Joelle's guest blog dealio today has the most comments of any of the guest bloggers thus far. And helpful ones at that...I like that when I ask a question, helpful and constructive answers are given in response. Makes my day!

I do so wish I could hang with the San Diego group this weekend! But my flight on Sunday is at 8:30 a.m....icky. It gets me home at a reasonable hour, though. Plus, best friend M and her hubby A will be up for the John Mayer concert at Irvine Ampitheater on Saturday night, and we're going to be getting together afterwards, I think. (Twin, are you working on pulling that together? Or should I try calling M tonight? Lemme know...) So really, my only free night when I'm home is Friday. And I think the Twin said something about getting together with an old friend at a new place in Irvine on Friday. (She also made mention of the From Hell Traffic that we'd run into if we tried to head into SD on a Friday night, and I do recall it was NOT a fun thing to hang out in. But traffic won't keep us from going to the premiere the night before, so I don't know why it should even be considered as a deterent to going to SD on Friday...)

So maybe the next trip home will be a better time for me to hook up with some of the SD bruthas. *Sigh!* Oh well...we'll have to see. I'm just very excited about the trip, really! WOOHOO!!

My 15 minutes...

Joelle is allowing guest bloggers today. Eeeee!!!!

It's going to be fun to see what kind of stuff gets posted, I think. I can't believe I had the cajones to put a post up myself. Now it'll be fun to see if anyone comments on my post.

Eeeeeee!!! :)

I need some Advil...

Last week, my co-worker had a shoulder issue...she thought she'd slept on it wrong on Monday night, and Tuesday morning, she had the problem of not being able to move it certain ways because it was too painful, and all. Well, it didn't go fact, throughout the week, it got much worse. (I should mention that it's not unusual for her to have issues like this...migraines, lack of sleep, and getting sick is common occurence for her.) We just ignored her. The whimpering has gotten kind of old after a year and a half of hearing it every week. Anyway, turns out she actually dislocated her shoulder, and she didn't know it.

Um. How does something like that even happen?

I slept wrong on my shoulder last night, it seems. Payback for mocking her whimpering last week with my other co-worker, perhaps? Karma IS a powerful force, IMO.

Watch out, never know when karma might be waiting around the corner to bite you in the ass.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

It's Sunday, and therefore, there shall be no title...

I'm tired of all the assholery. People not liking me who don't even know me, and getting all worked up about my business, even though it's sooooo very junior high, and shit.

And I don't lie about stuff, people. I'm proud to say that if you asked me about something, I would definitely not lie about the facts of what happened, or who someone was to me in my life. I might not volunteer the info, but if someone asked, I would tell the truth about it.

I'm a grown up. I'm tired of dealing with emotionally unstable, ridiculously immature individuals who talk about me in a way that makes me feel foolish for ever having wanted to be a part of their lives.

Why can't people just be cool for a while?

So screw the KCBloggers bullshit. Certain people don't want me to be a part of it, and I'll bow out as gracefully as I can at this point, since most of you think I'm a total ass anyway. You don't know me, and you've only heard one side of the story, if that. So step off, is all I can say.

I appreciate the people who looked past certain events and are getting to know me on my own. I think that's a cool way to deal with people, and I look forward to being able to hang out more with friends like you.

Peace out, my bruthas...

Friday, July 09, 2004

Let's see...go home, mow the lawn, get buzzed by the pool at the hotel...

Yep, my Friday evening is a full one, my friends. Be jealous, fo sho! HA!

Actually, I'm surprised I'm feeling as mellow as I am. Usually, Friday nights roll around, and I'm just itching to get out and do stuff! But tonight, I'm like, meh...I just wanna sit by the pool and have a great big drink, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and read a book. I wonder if I'm allowed to smoke by the pool? Hmmm...

Tomorrow night, I'm planning on going out with Cheri, but I don't know if that's still on or not. Otherwise, it might be another quiet weekend at home, I s'pose.

But next weekend is bound to make up for all the quiet weekends I've had recently! I head to OC on Wednesday, and the premiere is on Thursday, and then Friday is still sort of up in the air (maybe try to convince the twin to hit San Diego to see if I can run into bloggers I admire and would love to meet? Not sure if that's even a possibility, but it's something I'd love to do, all the same...), and Saturday, see Dad and step-mom, and hopefully visit with the good ol' best friend and her adorable hubby...and then fly home on Sunday. It's a whirlwind of fun activity. I'm really looking forward to it. :)

Ok, time to hit the road. Have a good weekend, y'all! My mower is a callin'...

I am NOT politically minded...

I really don't pay too much attention to politics, or candidates, or any of the little issues, per se. I'm just not interested in them. I know I'm a major schmuck for it, and I don't care. Maybe it'll be more interesting when I get older or something. Who knows?

Anyway, I've been reading about the Farenheit 9/11 movie all over, and last night I told someone about not really wanting to watch it until it comes out on video, and I heard an earfull (I'm sorry...some things just need to be done in the privacy of my home, and not on a huge screen in front of my face, you know?), but I really don't know that I care to see it at all! However, one of the things people seem to be focussed on at most blogs discussing it is the whole reaction of Bush to the initial info he received about the attack on the WTC buildings. I haven't seen the footage in years...since just after the attacks, really. He apparently had a look on his face that, according to some, was of bewilderment, and to others was more of a "what are we gonna do?" type of thing. And then he kept reading the book he was reading to the children he was sitting in front of.

And people are ANGRY about this, apparently! One guy said something about how he should have jumped up and started giving orders to people about what to do, because he's the fucking leader of the free world, dammit! Um, full of kindergardners, man. That's just not a realistic approach to the situation, I think. Another person said that he reacted fairly appropriately, knowing that there were many folks that were probably already reacting to the situation on his behalf, and taking care of business until he was readily available to respond to the news of the attack.

I don't get it...Why do people think it's even kind of normal to guess at how someone in Bush's position should react to such news? Ok, I find out that my boyfriend is lying unconscious in a hospital after suffering the effects of severe smoke inhalation due to a fire in his apartment. Quick - what am I thinking when I receive this news, and how should I react? Yeah, IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS BUT MINE HOW I REACT, DER!!!!

My point is, everyone is their own person. We all react differently in stressful situations. We all react differently in happy situations, even. (I once was asked why I didn't respond the same way a co-worker did when I received news of a promotion they were giving me. The co-worker had jumped up and down like a high-school cheerleader and started hugging everyone when they promoted her. Yeah, not my bag, dude. I shake hands, and say thank you for believing in me and giving me the opportunity. It was a retail deal, though...perhaps they have a different idea of professionalism in the retail world. I don't have much experience with it, so I don't know.) When are people going to start to understand that we are all different? Something that might make my sister double over with laughter might make me confused. While my co-worker will freak out about a mistake being made, I stand by calmly, and ask how we're going to fix it.

In this case, George Bush did what he thought was appropriate. We can't even begin to imagine what might've gone through his mind. Maybe the loss of life that had already occured, and how much more might happen? What was going to happen next? Did the terrorists know where he was, and were the schoolchildren he was sitting in front of about to be snuffed out along with him in the next few minutes? I mean, why should we even think ourselves to be equipped with the ability to say how he should have handled that news? I know that it's loads of people that are much smarter than I (and who are more savvy in the ways of politics) discussing this, but regardless, we are human beings, and as stupid and ineffective as George Bush may seem to some, he's a human being, too. Give him some space, yo. He's just a man trying to do the best job he can.

*stepping off soapbox* Now, I need to get some lunch going...because that's how I react to being hungry.

And I will name it "Strange"

Ok, just a couple of things I'm confused about:

- All the blogrolls are missing this's not there on Tenth-muse, and it's not there on Riotgeek, and it isn't on I missing something? Is my internet server weeding them out for some reason? I don't get it...

- The sunflower seeds I decided to buy this week are from a company called "Golden Stream". It bugs me for some reason. I don't know why, but it just seems like the wrong thing to name a company. Too close to golden showers, or something, I suppose.

- The loves in my life are starting to haunt me again. I'm doing my best to not let it get to me and to just stick to having some fun, and being alone for a while. But as I told one of them last night, I'm afraid I'm getting sucked back in, even though I really would prefer to be alone for a while. (And his solution was to ask me, "Do you want me to be mean?" WHY do guys think that's a good idea? Just STOP IT!! No, we don't want you to be mean, ok? We want you to do what you feel is right, ok? DAMN!) The thing is, I still look forward to finding that person I'm going to be with/live with/share loads of things with for a long while. So I'm figuring I'm at about 60/40 odds with myself on the wanting to be alone/wishing I could find the "man of my dreams" argument right now. *sigh!* Must be the age!

So, to deal with the confusion, I shall sit and pretend to work all day, listen to some Cocteau Twins (Four Calendar Cafe is today's album of choice), and hope that things stay quiet. Wish me luck!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

I have no willpower. At all.

It's taco salad day here at 6900. As most of us know, I do love me some taco salad every now and then. But last week, I wound up with heartburn from it. GAH! Plus, it really is a LOT of food to eat all at once. And taco salad isn't heat-up-later friendly. And I'm not so good at the whole stop eating when you're full thing. Well, I am when it comes to other things, though...I just don't know what it is about the taco salad that has this strange hold on me! Magic? Could it be a magic taco salad? It would explain a lot...

Anyway...So, I'm going to take the heartburn as a sign that I hadn't been eating the taco salad often enough, and that my body needs me to eat it more regularly in order to become immune.

Because sometimes, I'm a little bit crazy in the head. And being a damned fool sometimes is required in life. (This is not hypocritical activity, by the way. I can see how some might be thinking, "But you just went off on your co-workers for not practicing good common sense, and here you are, doing the same thing!" Yeah, it's not the same, ok? It just isn't...and it's because I said so. Nyah. :P)

It's the name of the blog, and so I must rant...

Ok. Am I the ONLY one at my company that has been given the gift of thinking clearly and using common sense? I swear sometimes I feel like the next e-mail that comes through is going to be from a string of people verifying the process they need to follow in order to breathe properly!

Look guys, use your brains! How else did I figure out what to do, I wonder? Do they think that the voice of God came to me in a dream and told me, "Faith, here is how you can check on the status of that check request you started last Tuesday..." NO! I can assure you that I have had no divine intervention, but rather, I simply went to the database that I originally started the request in, and started nosing around to see what kind of info I could find out when someone called two weeks later looking for their money.

Man! And I was feeling all peaceful and shit before I came to work this morning. Dammit.

I know that most people would say, "If you don't like your job, then why don't you find another one?" Well, because, again my common sense kicks in and tells me that every job is going to have it's stressful/annoying aspects. But you have to balance them out with other things. In my case, the idiocy of the field is balanced by the fact that I have great relationships with corporate personnel, and my co-workers that are in my office are awesome to work with. (I mean, we all have our days, but overall they're great, really.) So I can deal, for the most part. The thing I would be happiest doing (working on my own, doing the voice over thing) is only a few years off, I'm sure. And unless I win the lotto between now and then, I'll just have to keep looking forward to getting to the point where I'm working with clients and I'm running my own show. But for now, this pays the bills. DAMN THE BILLS TO HELL!!!

Rant over. I, and your fellow human beings, thank you so very much for going forth and practicing as much common sense as you possibly can. Here's to not acting like an idiot as often as possible! Cheers!!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

What to do when a giant rat ignores your children...

Here's what too much of that Chuck E. Cheese pizza can do to your brain, my friends. Beware...

Anyone have a helicopter I can borrow?

I crawled out of the hole to go get lunch at the supermarket. It's about 4 blocks away...I thought I was relatively safe. long as there's a stop sign involved, I'm bound to run into a total idiot, apparently. My hands have been flying off the wheel gesturing wildly for much of the time I'm in the car today. And I bet the people causing my reaction think that I'm the idiot.

Fuck...maybe I am. I don't know...

All I do know is, I don't want to get in my car to drive home until, like, 2 a.m. Good thing there's a Fred P. Ott's within walking distance of the office. Sheit...

Oh, it's a hermit's life for meeeee!!

I think today might be a very good day for me to stay as far away from other people as possible. As little interaction as I can possibly arrange to have would be perfection. People driving in this morning apparently have NO idea how a 4-way stop sign works. (After 15 years of driving, I pretty much have it down pat...but maybe that will start to reverse itself over the next 5 years, or something? At least, that is what I assume from the evidence presented to me this morning...jackass stupid drivers getting in my way, and shit...) The signal at 95th and Lamar is still on a stupid timer that keeps north/southbound traffic waiting forever for it to change. Some other jackass thought it would be fun to drive their car while attached to my ass, I don't know, to save themselves the gas, or something. And then I get to work this morning, and insane man has left yet another message for us to listen to...insisting that he's found a 1.9% rate at Fidelity, and that's "much lower than your 6.7% that you're offering me..." Um, yeah, TAKE IT, and go the FUCK away, you freak!! (And, yeah RIGHT, like there's a 1.9% rate being offered someplace right now. If so, then I can only imagine the fees they're charging. But the man is insane...I'm sure he's just not understanding the real deal there.)

So I'm going to go climb into my hole, and wait until dark. Can someone throw me a burger or a salad or something at around 12:30? (Since I'm staying in a hotel right now, and have no running water at my house, I'm pretty much forced to eat out all the time. It's terrible. Really. :) Thank God for Wendy's 99 cent menu items. Although, last night, the chili burned my tongue. So I'll need to rethink that tonight...)

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Totally freaked out...and a bit teary.

Remember back a while ago, when I posted the thing about the 11:11 (a.m. or p.m.) thing I have connected to my mom and my dead boyfriend? That I see it every so often on the clock (sometimes every day, sometimes after a month or so has gone by...), and I always say hello to them and thank them for being with me right then, and that I didn't know why, but that it seemed like an agreement we all came to at one point in time? I was just randomly catching up on some reading at one of the blogs I rarely visit, and found this link.

I'm totally frozen with amazement. I had no idea it was tied to something as specific as this, and never read about this phenomenon anywhere else prior to the 11:11 agreement ocurring with Mom and Dan.

It's things like this that freak me out a bit. They really have been talking to me, yo. (Not that I didn't believe it before, but it's so COOL to have confirmation like this, I think! And you can say, "Yeah, sure probably just saw something about this a long time ago, and you just don't remember where, and that's why you started talking to them when you see 11:11 on the clock..." But I can honestly say that it was something that I started doing without thinking about it, and only just started pondering why a couple of months ago. And I've been doing the 11:11 thing for about 2 years now, I figure...)

So. Fucking. Cool. :)

My 100 things...

I'm bored, and don't really want to work. So I'll probably blog about 80,000 more times today, just to warn you.

Inspired by Lyn at Chick Rawker, I have decided to post my 100 things. And I'm bound to list another hundred before the day is through, my bruthas...

Here's my list of 100 things:
1. I'm a twin.
2. I'm from California.
3. Yes, I prefer to live in Kansas rather than Cali. What can I say? I like corn fields more than oceans.
4. I grew up in an upper-middle class home.
5. I still like the upper-middle class lifestyle more than any other I've lived.
6. I graduated from college.
7. I am doing nothing that relates to my major.
8. I majored in English Literature because I love to read.
9. I had an extremely low GPA when I graduated, because you don't only have to read, but you have to write papers when you're an English major...and I can't write.
10. I lu-huuuuve to sing, and can do it better than anything else I have the ability to do naturally.
11. My dream job would be to become a voice-over artist.
12. I'm 30 years old, and I've done nothing to achieve that dream at this point in my life except write a couple of e-mails.
13. My eyes are blue.
14. My twin and I are O-positive blood types.
15. The rest of the family is O-negative.
16. We were also born without tonsils.
17. My twin has diabetes, and I don't.
18. I've never broken a bone in my body.
19. I've been overweight for a good 80% of my life.
20. I value sleep and food more than anything else in my life.
21. I own a BMW.
22. I own my own home.
23. I've kept the goals I've set for myself since I graduated from college.
24. My mother died when I was 24.
25. I had a boyfriend when I was 23 that died from smoke inhalation.
26. I love to smoke cloves.
27. Beer is my alcohol of choice.
28. I'm a sports nut.
29. Right now, I have the best boss I think I'll ever have in my life.
30. I want to buy a newfoundland dog in the next year.
31. I would like to be married by the time I'm 32.
32. I would love to be in a relationship that actually lasts longer than 10 months at a time.
33. I'm the only member of my family that lives in Kansas.
34. I'd like to live in Boston or Paris when I get old.
35. I can't eat dairy products.
36. I stopped purposely tanning when I was 24.
37. I've died my hair brown, blond, and red.
38. I'm currently blond, but am planning on going back to red in the fall.
39. I've never wanted children.
40. When I tell people I don't want to have kids, they tell me I'll change my mind someday.
41. I don't understand people who think it's a good idea for women to have children when they KNOW they don't want them.
42. Celery makes me gag until I throw up.
43. I come from a large family.
44. I'm 6 minutes older than my twin.
45. My twin and I are really good friends, now that we're adults.
46. I've lived alone since I was 22.
47. I'm terrible at playing all sports.
48. I'm a strong swimmer, and love it more than any other sport, even though I almost drowned when I was 3.
49. I would have drowned when I was 3 if I wasn't a twin.
50. I have my own office at work. With a window and a great view, to boot.
51. I love my family more than anything else on this planet.
52. I once owned a cat namez "Spaz".
53. I found Spaz licking my toothbrush one afternoon, and it sent me through the roof…
54. I had to put Spaz in a shelter when I moved to Boston in 1999 to go back to school, because the people I was moving in with didn't want a cat.
55. One of my roommates in Boston brought home a grown cat after we'd been in the apartment for 3 weeks.
56. I think Boston and Paris are the coolest cities on the planet that I've had the chance to live in/visit.
57. Kansas City is the perfect sized city for me.
58. I love PF Chang's lettuce wraps.
59. I'm convinced that I was instrumental in the opening of a new California Pizza Kitchen on the Plaza in Kansas City, MO.
60. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying a "chain" restaurant, and its atmosphere/food selection.
61. My twin learned how to ride a bike before me.
62. I hate tornadic weather.
63. In my second year of college, I experienced a brush fire that took out most of the community surrounding the college, a flood that buried the rest of the community in mud, and an earthquake that flattened a building on the other side of the mountain from us.
64. I like to fly.
65. I DON'T like turbulence.
66. I change into pajamas as soon as I get home from work. Even though I sometimes change again into work out clothes an hour or so later.
67. Shaquil O'Neal is a god.
68. My favorite book of all time is "Emma" by Jane Austen.
69. I'm a BBC movie freak.
70. I also love old movies more than current ones.
71. I don't understand people who say they don't like black & white movies. What's the difference if it's in color or not?
72. My idols are Gregory Peck and Katherine Hepburn.
73. I think my mother bears a striking resemblance to Katherine Hepburn.
74. I'm double jointed in all my fingers.
75. I hate wind.
76. Bugs are not my friends.
77. If you're a bug, and you're in my house, you stand a good chance of dying.
78. My prefered method for killing spiders is the vacuum.
79. Second favorite method (and if they're on the ground) is the can o' Raid.
80. I have driven drunk before.
81. I've been date-raped.
82. I don't like bell peppers, unless they're in fajitas.
83. I hate walnut trees.
84. The sound cicadas make are a major reason why I moved back to the Midwest.
85. I've never been on a motorcycle.
86. I've never been sued.
87. I own a tempur-pedic mattress, and it's the. best. thing. EVER!
88. I love to people watch.
89. After I learned to ice-skate, I couldn't roller skate any more.
90. I'm a Food Network addict.
91. Alton Brown is a god.
92. I miss pizza with cheese on it.
93. Amy's soy cheese pizza isn't too bad of a substitute, though.
94. There's nothing better in this world on a Friday afternoon than a tall Bud Light and some of Chili's boneless buffalo wings.
95. I'm a reliable friend.
96. I don't dig receiving oral sex.
97. I was born and raised in a Catholic home.
98. I love my faith, but I'm not currently a practicing Catholic. (I don't go to church regularly, is what that means...doesn't mean I've stopped being a Catholic right now, or anything.)
99. I can't do pull-ups, or chin-ups, or whatever they're called.
100. I've never had surgery, except to have my wisdom teeth removed.

Unfinished business?

I feel like something is incomplete, for some reason. Like I have more yelling I want to do at the ex even though we've really gotten past that ickiness (well, at least I think we have...), or like my hair isn't clean, even though I washed it this morning, or like work just isn't being done properly even though I'm on top of all issues that are in process.

It's like having that feeling that you're craving something, but you aren't sure exactly what...I hate that feeling.

Maybe a Diet Pepsi will take care of it. Mmmmm...Diet Pepsi. And some good lovin'. Good lovin' always helps, I think. ;) Unfortunately, they don't keep that sort of thing on hand in the vending machines in my building. Bastards.

Running on empty...

Oh my GOD! Ok, all you people who say you love the storms, and shit? Yeah, you can all suck it. I don't know how anyone could like something that is as loud and obnoxious as the early morning storms we had were today. I saw it coming, about 3 a.m., watching the weather channel for the up-to-date radar, I could see that the way the storms were laid out, I would be getting absolutely NO sleep.

But then the thunder subsided for a while! And it was just raining, and I thanked God, and I tried to fall back asleep. But by then, my mind was filled with thoughts that haven't been there for days, and of the bath remodel, and of co-worker issues that have arisen. And I couldn't get back to sleep at all. And then the next round of thunder started. And the lightening! MAN, the lightening was insane.

Now, I'm all for the daytime storms, and the early evening ones and even the storms that hit at about 10, and last until midnight. But this wake me up every goddam morning at 2:30 and keep me awake for a while bullshit has. got. to. STOP! At least yesterday, I was able to sleep in for a while after having been woken up by the storms on Monday morning. And those ones didn't last nearly as long, nor were they as loud, it seems. But this morning, it was like the weather gods had some vendetta against Overland Park, and they were going to let us have it, man!

Oh well...I must muddle through my day now. Trying to stay awake, and not be pissy with everyone that calls. Bleh...

Monday, July 05, 2004

Without hesitation...

These past 8 days or so have been wonderful for me. I've successfully stayed away from the thinking-too-much-about-the-ex thing that usually happens after a break up, I've had some fabulous people to spend time with that have really opened my mind to the possibilities that exist for me, and I feel excited about what could lie ahead.

Tomorrow, my bathroom remodel starts, and I couldn't be more excited about it! New floor, new shower, new pipes. And a new toilet that doesn't fucking RUN all the time! Yay! It's such an exciting thing for me, I can't even begin to describe it...

Next week, I'll be flying home to visit family and to see "The Bourne Supremacy" premiere. It'll suck up every last hour of vacation time I have left, and I can only hope I'll have enough built back up for Christmas...but that really doesn't matter right now. I can't wait to see my sister and my dad and stepmom.

And the end of the month will be exciting as well...I have a court date to deal with the small claims suit I've brought against the previous owners of my house. I've never been to court before. I've never gone before a judge and argued a case, and tried to prove that I'm in the right. I'm pretty sure I'll be in somewhat of a panic that day. But as it's the same day that Randall (that thar sweet Alabaman pilot, babayyy...) will be flying in, I don't know whether I'll be thinking straight by the time I'm in front of the judge! Thank goodness I wrote my "speech" I plan to give about a month ago. I'm all prepared, and ready to rumble. And as for the visit with Randall, well, I expect him to behave like the perfect southern gentleman he's presented himself to be thus far. He really couldn't be any sweeter. And how fascinating to be forced to get to know someone over the phone and through e-mail! I mean, I've been a regular on for over 2 years now, but it's just different when dealing with someone who lives in a totally different state. So much fun, though!

I leave you with it has been playing in a commercial that I've heard about 30 times this weekend, and every time I hear it, I sing along, and think about how very true it is...

"You can't always get what you want...but it you try sometime, you might find, you get what you need!"

And right now, I need a new bottle of beer and a ciggy. Night all!