Friday, October 29, 2004

Update to the Update

So the Twin and my co-worker encouraged me to send a note to the bitch-psycho guy, and let him know that after careful thought, I realized that we were not exactly a match. So I did. And I don't know if he wrote me back yet (probly not...he seems to write me later at night when he sends me notes...), but I'm hoping he doesn't. He just seems like the type that would. And I don't want to read another bitch-psycho tirade from him about how I'm mean, and all that. But you know what? I don't really care what he thinks. Bleh.

Our LAN back-up power supply in the office took a dive a bit earlier. For no reason, really. I think the back-up power supply just suddenly decided it was on overload, and fried out. The LAN boxes themselves are fine now that they're plugged directly into the wall, but we have no idea what happened to the back-up to make it freak. Suddenly, all of our connections were spazzing, and we couldn't figure out what the fuck was up. So I called Tech Support, got a ticket open with hardware, and we were gonna sit back and wait. (We were ready to take it as the final sign of the morning telling us to give up, forward the calls to my cell, and then head over to the bar across the parking lot to hang out for the rest of the day, but it didn't work out like that. And Tech Support didn't think it was funny when I brought it up, either. Whatev.) Then someone at corporate called us and said, "Your LAN connection isn't responding." Um, der. Tell us something we don't know, ok? So we worked it all out, and figured out the power supply thing. Now I'm just waiting to hear back from the hardware guys about the back-up power supply dealio.

Wasn't that an exciting story? Don't you wish you were me? Yeah ya do...

I'm going to get de-rooted tonight. I'm so grown out right now, it's almost painful. But as of 7 p.m. tonight, I will no longer have to worry about it. Unless of course the weather turns as tornadic as it feels like it's going to outside, and I wind up having to book it into the basement of the Beauty Brands halfway through my processing time. I'd better check weather.com to see what's going on out there. It's lovely, really. Big fluffy clouds, a bit of a breeze. But it feels as though we're suddenly in the Bahamas, it's so tropically aired out. I'd figure the humidity is at about 70%. (HA! I just checked and it's at 73%! I'm so cool...) So it's feeling funky out. I turned on my A/C last night. I should NOT have to turn on my A/C at the end of October, dammit. But it's supposed to be back to normal by tomorrow...65 degrees, I think. Which is why, if we get a significant push of moisture from the Gulf this afternoon, we can count on some thunder. lightening, and other lovely things to go along with it. Sheit...

Thanks for all the advice about the stupid guys I'm dealing with lately, by the way. I appreciate it you guys!

Update

Ok, so last night I talked to the Yahoo! Personals guy that went sort of bitch-psycho** on me last week via e-mail. And I figured out why he did that. It's because he's a bit bitch-psycho** it seems.

Why can't I meet a normal guy who is a little bit fun, a little bit laid back and mellow, has some sort of ambition, and doesn't think that the world of women is out to get him? GAH!!

I haven't heard from Dave at all this week, and I'm not calling his ass, because I don't wanna. I figure that if I see him, I see him. I'm not going to stop going to The Blue Moose just because he might be there. I would imagine that he will be. Although, the later the USC games are on here, the better chance of him not being there. He tends to go there earlier in the day on Saturdays. Since tomorrow's game is on at 6, I might be free and clear. We'll see what happens...


**I don't know what "bitch-psycho" means, exactly. But it seems the best way to describe the way this guy acts. I'm not sure if it's nerves, or what, but he talks about inappropriate shit on the phone with me the first time we talk? WTF? (i.e. He has a co-worker that apparently has very large breasts, and he found a way to bring that up in our conversation yesterday when he first called me. Something about not allowing her to play in the company flag football game they're having in November, because everybody's afraid that if she runs, she'll wind up with black eyes. Dude. Not cool...and that was just the tip of the iceberg, really.) He also shared some info with me about how he doesn't introduce just any girl to his mother. It's a "big deal" to get to meet his mom, because that means that he thinks the girl is really important to him. Um, personally, his mom sounds like a real dickwad after he described her to me, and his description of her home being a "safe haven" for him to "escape to" kind of made me want to tell him he's a head case and hang up right then. But who am I to judge, really? I moved 1500 miles away from my family, and created my own "safe haven" in a state that doesn't really have any kind of emotional or physical ties for me or my family, whom I consider myself to be rather close to, btw. I kind of want to meet this guy, just so I can see what he's like in person, and so I can maybe be given the opportunity to throw a drink in his face and walk away. Besides the fact that it seems he simply expects this kind of treatment from the girls he dates, he sort of asks for it, IMO. Anyway, he's bitch-psycho. That's that.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

I love the word "tiny".

Ok, isn't this just the most intriguing article title ever?: "Tiny Species of Humans Found"

Huh? Tiny humans? Where??? Are there pictures? Where do they live? And just how "tiny" are we talkin' here?

Ok, so the article is actually about some really small human being type thing that scientists didn't know existed tens of thousands of years ago, but it's still somewhat interesting.

I just think the title is a bit misleading. Made me think that maybe there was a logical explanation for the amount of dust that gathers under my couch in a week (it's not possible for that much dirt to get under there and collect without someone putting it there purposely, seriously...), and for the strange bumps I hear in the night before I go to sleep, or that I hear in my kitchen as I sit and watch t.v. in my living room. But no...it was just an ancient civilization of "tiny" people that lived on some random island, hunted pygmy elephants, and were likely wiped out by a volcanic eruption dealio.

Stupid journalists. Getting me all excited about the discovery of tiny people, and shit.


Trivial Info

I receive this little newsletterish type thing every day on my fax at work called the Fax Times. They have a little trivia question in it every day that is sometimes interesting, and today's was exceptional. Lemme know if you know the answer to the following:

From 1520 - 1630, how many werewolf cases were said to have been tried in France?
A) 300
B) 3,000
C) 30,000

Comment and tell me what you think. I'll post the answer** by noon CST.



**Ok, I'm a little late with this, but since no one is guessing, it doesn't matter really. The answer is C, believe it or not. Which is fascinating to me. I just told my co-worker, "It's amazing how far we've come in 500 years." To which she replied, "Really? You think we've come all that far?" Hm. Good point.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Kind of meme, kind of chain mail...

Lyn did this on her blog, and I thought it was a fabu idea. We've all seen them before, of course, and each time, my answers are different. I thought it was interesting this time around...

1st. Get Pen and Paper
2nd. When choosing names, make sure they are real people that you know. Go with your first instincts. Very important for good results.

3rd. Don’t read ahead otherwise you will ruin the fun.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, Write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column on the left.

2. Besides the numbers 1 & 2, write down any 2 numbers you want.
3. Besides the numbers 3 & 7, write down the names of two members of the opposite sex.
4. Write anyone’s names (like friends or family) next to 4, 5, & 6.
5. Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally, Make a Wish

Remember, don't read ahead! I don't have the ability to do that hide thing on my blog, because I'm not one of the cool kids, so finish up your scribbling before you read the key below, m-kay?







Key to the game:
1. The number of people you must tell about this game is found in space 2.
2. The person in space 3 is the one you love.
3. The person you like but your relationship cannot work is in space 7.
4. You care most about the person you put in space 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.
6. The person you named in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 us the song for the person in 7.
9. The 10th space is the song that tells you most about your mind.
10. And 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life.
11. Number 1 is your lucky number.Your wish is supposed to come true if you send this to at least the number of people in space 1.

Ok, so here's the meme part of it. My answers were as follows:
1. 13
2. 5
3. Ex-ex-boyfriend (a.k.a. Dickhead)
4. The Twin
5. My co-worker
6. My old boss
7. Dave
8. Strangeways, Here We Come
9. Sensual World (ok, that just icks me out right now...)
10. Single Girl (heh...now you know why the last one icks me out.)
11. Honeysuckle Rose

This year for Halloween, I want to be...

A grown woman going door to door collecting free candy from my neighbors. Think of it! You open the door, and there I am, 30-years-old, lookin' all cute and shit, saying, "Trick or Treat!" with a big grin on my face, holding my pillow case open for you to drop your candy into. What would you do? I'd give the person candy. Because I figure it like this: since when did the rule book put an age limit on candy collecting on Halloween? I never saw one, personally, so I think it should be allowed. It's a fun activity, and it should be enjoyed by people of all ages, dammit.

And if you slam your door in my face, well, you might as well say "Trick!" as you do it. 'Cuz your garage door is getting egged, muthafucka!!!

Have fun. Go forth and trick or treat to your heart's content this year. Surprise your neighbors by throwing your favorite blanky around your neck fastened with a safety pin, and tell them you're Super-Neighbor, and you just fought off 4 toilet-papering 13 year olds in their front yard for them, so they owe you a Hershey's miniature or two.

Now I'm all excited, and shit. :)

Several things...

I was behind a car briefly this morning that had a personalized plate on it that said "Saturn". Why did it have such a plate, you ask? Well, because it was a Saturn, of course! Sometimes, I'd like to crawl inside the head of some of the simplistic folk out there, and figure out what it is that makes them tick. I swear...

Work is icky again. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but this bitch in another state that used to be the admin for my new boss (and is still supposed to be acting as his admin for his old role...) is still infringing on my job duties/responsibilities. It's pissing. me. OFF! I just sent a note to the new boss asking him to please call me. He's in all-day meetings today, and I need info from him that he's failed to get to me since last goddam Friday (I know, I know...he's new on the job, and getting used to the load of work that needs to be done, blah, blah, blah...GET OVER IT!! He delegates enough of the shit he should actually be doing that I can't imagine what he's doing besides flying from town to town to shmooze folks all over the Midwest.), and I need to talk to him about the perception that some folks in this company have of me as his admin. It's clear that lots of people don't know who the fuck I am. And I'm wondering why they don't. Hmm...could it be that the signature that goes out on every one of his e-mails still lists the OLD admin as his current admin? And that'd be fine, really, but it should show me as well. Unfortunately, I can't access it to change it here. I don't think...I might try later. Anyway, the old admin is sending notes to MY managers like she's their new admin or something. And we JUST talked about this on Friday!! We just went over what she would be doing and what I would be doing! She's such a fucking idiot, it scares me. If this guy values the relationship that they had as boss and admin, then I can't possibly see how he and I are going to get along together long term. Plus, his philosophy of "everyone else do everything for me, and I'll be happy to say thank you" is not going to work for me. He needs to earn his goddam salary and bonuses. I don't get paid enough to do the shit he's got people doing for him. (i.e. having his admin call into a conference call for him, and then patching him in!! Um, HELLO?? Is there a problem with dialing the phone yourself from where you're located? Sheesh...)

I'm tired of the political commercials in KC. They aren't even aimed at those of us on the Kansas side, either. That's what sucks. All of us Kansans have to suffer through the monotonous, annoying, CONSTANT commercials of people attacking each other for the governor of Missouri position, and the state treasurer, and the senate adn all that crap, and we don't even VOTE for those people on our side of the state line! It sucks. But, we only have to deal with it for another week, right? Fuck.

That's what's on my mind this morning. Now I must get to work. Because it's just that time...

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Grocery list

I can't remember if I used the last of my q-tips the last time I loaded up my q-tip jar. And I'm going to the market on my way home from work today...but I can't remember if I used them all, so I'm not sure if I need them. So now I'll have to buy a box, and hope that I needed them.

Dammit.

I need surprisingly few things this week, though. Yeee!! I love short shopping lists. Means more money for beer at the end of this week. :D

I need help...

I can't figure out why I'm not allowed to go to Mikey's any more. Suddenly, I'm getting a "not authorized" message when I try to visit his site, no matter how I try to get there.

Any thoughts? (This is not a standard internet advisory thing I get when my company decides I shouldn't visit a certain site any more, btw. It's more like Mikey has blocked my IP. And I can't think of a reason why that would happen...)

Is anybody else experiencing this issue?

Uh oh.

My sinuses suddenly feel like they're full of something. And my throat is getting a bit scratchy/a cough is coming on. And this morning, when I initially woke up, it hurt.

This could be a bad sign. But I'm going to think as positively as I can, get plenty of rest (I went to bed at 10:30 last night, and slept until 6:30 this morning...good job, me...), and keep up with my vitamins. Hopefully that will keep all the really bad crap away. My co-worker was pretty bad on Friday, but she's better after a weekend full of sleep. And it's not that I wouldn't mind taking the days off, or anything. But I hate having a cold. Hate, hate, hate...

And oh my GOD my roots are bad right now! Bad, bad, bad...the hairdresser never called me back last week, so I called and made an appointment to see his best friend at the salon she's at. I can't see her till Friday, though. And until then, I look like I'm growing out my blond hair. Which I'm not. I have had one person tell me that it looks good, though. Hm. Naw...she's insane. I hate looking at it in the mirror, even. It's just so gross looking. GAH!

More bitching and moaning to come later, I'm sure. :)

Monday, October 25, 2004

A couple people have asked, so here we go...

Ok, my weekend with Dave. Did anything happen? Sort of. Was it fun? At times. Here's the scoop...

Saturday was a long day. I was finally able to wash my car (it's been slimy and rainy in town for the past 2 weeks, pretty much...), and I went to go visit my Old Best Friend, her hubby, and their week-old brand new adorable baby girl Lucy, and then I went to the Blue Moose to eat (I was starving!), and to watch the USC game. Dave rolled in at about 5:45, or so, and sat down kind of far from me, but whatever. We watched the game, and some old guy came in and started talking politics with me ("You're voting for Kerry, right?" Um, not that it's any of your business, but..."What about women's rights?" Shut UP old man!), and then Dave left.

Now, I don't believe that I'd had too much to drink at that point. I'd eaten a good amount, and had probably had around 4, maybe 5 Miller Lites. But last I remembered, he'd said he was going home to watch the World Series game, because he had scotch there, and he didn't have to pay for it to drink it. Kay, I get that. I figured I'd head over there when I was done with my beer. But I never got to ask him if that was ok, really, and he never explicitely invited me over, so I guess that's where I made my mistake.

I finally left the Moose, and made my way over to Dave's house. And his lights were off. Hm. So I tried calling...no answer. So I drove home. Then I thought about how good Taco Bell might taste right then, and I went out to find some. Changed my mind on my way to the closest Taco Bell, and drove back home. Decided to give Dave's place another try. His light was on! I knocked on the door. I could hear Sammy (the dog) inside panting, and pawing at the floor, but no Dave. Alright. I went home again, and changed immediately into jammies, and settled in to watch the Series on my couch. I called and left Dave a message that I had no idea when he left the bar, but that I had assumed he was going to be home, and what happened? A couple hours later, I left another message saying that I was sorry if he felt ignored at the bar, but the old man wouldn't shut up! And I would've much rather been talking to Dave. And that was all.

I went to bed at about midnight, I think. And I woke up at 4 a.m. Couldn't go back to sleep, wondering what the fuck had happened. So, I decided to call him. Yep. At 4:30 a.m., I picked up the phone, and called him leaving him a message that went something like, "I can't sleep, and I'm blaming you. I'm not sure what happened last night, but I had assumed you had invited me over (my mistake, of course), and then I never hear from you? What the hell is going on here, anyway?"

Ok, in my defense, I had been working on very little sleep for the past 72 hours, job stress had been high, and compared to the higher emotional level I'd been on earlier in the week, I had literally had a crash and burn thing that had happened by Friday. Saturday was a good day to recover, but then the whole Dave thing ocurred, and I took it waaaay personally. Especially considering the way he'd behaved about the whole internet dating thing from Wednesday on. I felt lonesome and pissy and rather unhappy by the time I went to bed on Saturday night. Alright...that's enough defense...

So. I went to my living room, and read a little, watched a bit of a bad movie (because that's all that's really on at 4:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning, apparently), and then finally crawled back into bed around 6:15 a.m. to give sleep another go, which didn't work. My phone rang at about 6:55 a.m. I knew it was Dave, trying to get me back. Indeed, the first thing he said was, "Did I wake you up?" I said, no, not really...but he said, "Good, because I am pissed." And it went on from there. I had to listen to him rail on about how he'd gone home the night before, and then went over to a neighbor's house to watch the game. I was able to explain that I thought his comments at the bar about how he was going home to watch it and drink scotch were an invitation to me, and that clearly I was wrong, but he didn't care much at that point. He was really angry. I don't get why, but whatever. We hung up, and after a few minutes, I called back, and left him a message stating that I was sorry for having woken him up as I had, and that I had assumed that he was ignoring me the night before, and had therefore turned off the ringer on his phone. I also said that I was confused...a week ago, he had asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I said no. He asked if I was dating anyone, and I said no. He asked if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. And then he asked me if I'd give him a chance, and I said yes. So whatever had changed since then, I was unclear on, but he certainly wasn't treating me like someone he wanted to get a chance from, that was damned sure.

Ok, so at this point, we're about even on the Being An Ass scale. But I'm a girl, and I think I should have a wider allowance on the ass scale. Because we do stupid things when we think a guy likes us sometimes. It's kind of involuntary. I'm still trying to get that spazzing action under control, and I've been dating for over 15 years. Bleh.

Anyway, I rolled around on Sunday. Went to Home Depot to replace the faucet I'd bought to install in my bathroom, came home, and got down to business with the action of working on removing the old, broken faucet (scary task...men had installed the old one, and it was screwed on tight, man. I'm so sore today, it sucks...), and then took a break to get some lunch at about noon. I needed a part for the sink to work properly, so I headed out to the hardware store which is in the same little center where the Blue Moose is, and which is where we go to watch the games on Sunday. I thought it would be a really bad idea to go there yesterday, but I did consider dropping by for a moment at that point. I looked cute, even if I was exhausted, and a Diet Coke would've hit the spot. But I decided not to after a minute of debate with myself. Not only was I sort of irritated with Dave, but I was pretty sure he needed more space from me after my shenanegans, and I was so exhausted that I was really fine with that. I would've liked to have said hello to the others that go there, but there's always next week.

Anyway, he called me at about 5:15 last night to find out why I hadn't come down to watch the game. (Which fascinated me, but whatever...) I told him basically what I said in my paragraph above, and then we talked a bit. He said that the number of my phone calls the night before had freaked him out. I told him I had shit to say, and that's just the way I am. (Who the fuck cares about shit like that, right? Don't listen to the messages if you're so bothered by it. Christ!) Anyway, I told him that I was emotionally and physically exhausted after the way the past few days had gone at work and at home, and that it had a bad effect on me. Also, I was confused by the way he had treated me since I had told him about my internet dating past. I told him that I was almost afraid to even say the word "internet" any more, for fear of what he might wind up saying to me. So he told me his issue. He said that he associated internet dating with desperation. (He did preface this comment by saying that he didn't mean to offend me. Um, dude? Just you thinking it is offensive, kay?) I asked him if he thought I was a desperate woman. He said no, he didn't think that. I was all, "Ok, then! So what is the issue? It's another way to meet people, period." I also like the way it gives me the opportunity to chat with people for as long as I want before meeting them face-to-face, but I didn't go into that with him. Anyway, then he says that I told him that I met these guys, and then slept with them, and that bothered him too. I was all, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!! I never said that! I had boyfriends that I met online, and I slept with them, but I don't do that, man!" I told him there are specific websites for that type of thing, and I don't use them. That's not my deal. So he apologized for having the wrong impression there. *sigh!* Then he mentioned the fact that I came over for 3 nights in a row last week, and while he had said it was fine for me to drop over any time, that maybe that was a bit much, blah, blah, blah. Um, Dave? Yeah, you called me on Tuesday night wondering where I was at, and asking me when I could be over there. I showed up on Wednesday night because it was what I thought he wanted. Gah!! (Oh, and I wanted to go over there, too, of course. I don't do stuff just because I think it'll make them happy...it needs to make me happy too...)

So we were both all, what next? And I finally said that we need to move forward slowly, and understand that we need to talk more about this shit, it seems. I did not tell him that I've struck up a conversation with someone new online. But I am glad that I'm doing that as well. Because Dave? Seems a little off to me. So we'll see what happens.

I hope my love life is at least a little bit entertaining to people. Because it must happen like this for a reason, dammit...

I'm in a newsy kinda mood, it seems...

We have a little story locally that just makes me want to go on television and say, "Really? Are you kidding me? Really??" It's a bit fucked up, IMO. 2 old people (76 and 79) were found dead in their Bible store last week.

The police believe it's the result of a robbery attempt gone bad.

Really???

I told my co-worker just now that I'm tired of hearing of it, because every time I do, I have to sit back and think about it for a while. Like a song that gets stuck in my head.

My theory is that it's someone who wants to guarantee their ticket to hell. "How can I go to hell for sure? How, how, ho...OH! I know!! I'll kill a couple of old people! Defenseless old people who have no way of fighting back. Ooh! Defenseless old people that own and work in a Bible store. Because that has GOT to get Christ on my bad side, I'd think. This is the best plan for going to hell ever!"

But the local cops think it was a fucking robbery. Because, you know, when I'm strapped for cash, the first place I think of hitting for a free loan is a Bible store. I hear they tend to roll in the dough.

It makes no sense to me. Why do people still want to bring children into this world, huh? With people killing old Bible store owners and shit. Not nice...not nice at all.

And in THIS corner, we have insane teacher of 4th grade students...

Holy shit...this story was something my co-worker thought I'd enjoy a good deal. She was right. The only problem is, I'm left with many, many questions after reading it. Why did the teacher put the backpack into the trash? Why did it bother her so much when the mother decided to retrieve the backpack? What in heaven's name was this teacher given a shot of that day that sent her so far over the edge as to wollop a parent with a chair? And she was just placed on administrative leave? I'm sorry, but isn't going batshit and attacking another human being in front of 19 students for absolutely no reason kind of a safe reason to terminate someone on the spot?

People. Are. CRAZY! But damn, what I wouldn't give to have been one of the 4th graders that got to watch that fight in person. Sheit....

And I thought MY Saturday night was pretty bad...

Ashlee Simpson.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Thanks babe. I needed that. And the country definitely needed someone new to step up as the Official Jackass, because I think we're all pretty damned sick of the political shit right now, no? So, good job. GREAT timing, IMO. (On the stepping up as a jackass, of course...not on the lip synching, cuz, yeah...)

**UPDATE: Found some info at a website I found through Mikey that helped me understand a bit more of this fiasco. And I'm loving knowing the whole story..."here's the word from a friend of mine who was at the show, and got it straight from the director, beth mccarthy, who she was a guest of: ashlee can't sing. she tried all day friday, but was whining to her voice coach. they decided to leave her mike on so she could sing along to the track, but after the first line or two of the first song, turned her off cause she was awful. so, as of the first song, all the mikes were off.
now, they had the wrong song queued up for the second song, obviously. it really was the drummer's fault. apparently he was supposed to signal something or start in with some beat, and the one he did was for the first song. because he fucked up, the guy doing the tape hurried up and put the first song on, because that was what the drummer had signalled. when this got all fucked up, they did two things:
1. turned on all the mikes so the band could take over and start the real song. which they didn't. have no idea why.2. turned off the tape so the band could play the real song.
they were going to turn on ashlee's mike so she could sing the real song, but decided not to because the band was just playing the first song. the guys were smiling cause they were simply thinking "what a fucking clusterfuck".
beth mccarthy was also the director of the superbowl halftime show last year, so she's no stranger to ... malfunctions.Posted by: carolina at October 24, 2004 05:57 PM"




Friday, October 22, 2004

Lemme tell ya where you can put your unofficial bidness...

Does anybody actually feel more like going to Wendy's since they've come up with this whole Mr. Wendy's "Unofficial" Spokesman thing? I haven't been there in probably 3 months. (I used to go regularly to pick up a plain baked potato and a small chili...cheap, filling, yummy...) And even though the commercials aren't as prolific as they used to be, it seems, I want to go there less and less every time I see that man representing himself as some sort of fast-food quasi-expert telling the world what he thinks they should try eating at Wendy's next.

Now they've teamed him up with a self-righteous, annoying little kid asking him the question "why?" to everything he says to him. After Mr. Official Stupendous Idiot answers his questions as to why it is he didn't used to be able to choose to have mandarin fucking oranges with his meals when he was a kid (um, yeah...doubtful that the kid's meal had even been thought of back when Mr. Unofficial Dumbest Commercial Idea Ever was a kid, so he can just shut it...), the little kid says something along the lines of, "Well maybe they didn't trust you to make an informed decision."

Um, Mr. Unofficial Midget Asshole in Training? Yeah, NO little kid in their right mind wants to order mandarin goddam oranges over an order of fries to go along with their box of chicken nuggets. So WHY don't you shut the fuck up, and go throw your tantrum until you get the actual thing you wanted to eat along with your chicken pieces, and while you're at it, spit the fucking milk your mother ordered for you all over your baby sister right before you demand the Sprite you wanted in the first place?

Those commercials have been bothering me lately. Just needed to get that off my chest. Sorry.

Velocity girl...

The past two days have been hell for me. So I will end the week with this, found at Lyn's:

Current state of things

Wearing: jeans, 2 layered different colored blue tanks from Limited, and a powder blue cardigan. Oh, and black shoes and socks. (And no, I'm not retarded. It's cute...)
Drinking: Lots and lots of water. As always.
Upset that: The day isn't over yet. Coooome ooooonnnn!! End already, eh?
Luxuriating in: The resolution that occurred between me, the new boss, and the new boss's old assistant. Thank God for small favors.
Reading: E-mails, of course. Always, always, always...
Learning: That the passion I have for my job is strongly driven by the co-workers I get to see daily.
Downloading: Nothing.
Wanting: For the day to be over, so I can have a beer in my hand while watching a movie on the tele.
Listening to: Musical Fruitcake 2000 (which includes the musical stylings of such bands as Sigur Ros, Tosca, and Chicks on Speed...gotta love it!)

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I need Boardwalk

Anybody playing the McDonald's Monopoly game? I need the Boardwalk game piece in order to get the $1 Million.

If you send it to me, I'll give you 5% of the take. I swear.


The Red Sox. And new guys at work AND home...

Life is icky for me this morning. I mean, it's not terrible, or anything, but I'm in a slump. Ok, first off, let me say that I'm happy the Red Sox won, and am looking forward to seeing if they can pull off a win in the World Series. I don't care whether they wind up playing St. Louis or Houston...I want the Sox to win.

That said, let me just move on to the new men in my life. Dave seemed to be going smoothly overall. Yes, we're still just getting to know each other, and I know virtually nothing about him except for the basics (only child, father is still alive, mother is not, never lived with anyone, has been in his house for 20 years, and he doesn't have to work - which is a mystery to me - but he's getting bored not working, which makes sense...), and I'm starting to share shit about my family and that sort of thing between innings when we're watching the games at his house, but nothing mind-blowing, I don't think. Last night, he gave me a copy of the latest Vanity Fair he had on his coffee table, and I was immediately drawn in due to the fact that Johnny Depp was on the front (holy LORD he is hot!), so I flipped through it a bit, and landed on the horoscope page, which he leaned over to read along with me. We read each other's horoscope, and then I flipped to another page that he leaned over and was enjoying with me, and I said, "Would you like to read the magazine?" Just sort of playfully, you know? And he said, no, he thought we were doing the "couple thing", you know, reading it together.

??? Again, I've known the dude for about 5 days now. And while I'm fine with little comments here and there referencing the future, because it's sort of flirty, and cute, that just seemed odd for some reason. Am I wrong? Wasn't that an odd thing to say?

Well, maybe it doesn't seem so odd until later. When he flipped out after I told him that I had been dating men that I met through internet dating sites for a while. He laughed at me. Like it was some sort of totally foreign concept, or something, to actually meet people through the internet. I admit, there was a time when I thought it was a silly idea, too. But I got over it, and realized that it isn't as unsafe as some people make it out to be. I've never dated anyone that turned out to be married, or who tried to attack me, or who was super-different than they made themselves out to be in their profile. (Except Patrick/Asshole...who claims in his profile that honesty is the most important thing to him over any other quality. Umm..okaaayyy. He just failed to mention that he actually didn't follow the policy of truth over everything himself.) So, really, it hasn't been a bad experience for me. But for him to laugh at me? I didn't understand that. So I asked him if he had some sort of problem with it, and he said, "No! No...it works for you, so that's fine. Good luck with that. I hope it works out for you, really."

*Blink, blink...* Huh?

So I sat there quietly, watching the 8th inning of the Red Sox/Yankee game, and he starts saying that the game is over, and asks me if I'm tired or anything. I just was kind of quiet, though, and he asked me about that. So I looked at him, and I asked him again if he had a problem with the fact that I'd dated people that I'd met on the internet, and he reitterated that if it worked for me, then that's great, and he hopes that it works out well for me. I was all, "That! The whole 'hope it works out for me' thing...what is that supposed to mean?" He just said it again, so I gave up. I stopped talking. At one point, I leaned over and hugged him, and he put his arm around me, and everything seemed ok. But when I said I'd better go home, he almost jumped up from the couch, and had my coat in his hands, helped me into it, gave me a kiss goodbye, and I swear it was like the storm door slammed after I walked out of it.

I don't get it. But I'm trying not to dwell on it, either. I'm planning on calling him later to chat about it. Because I need to know why he suddenly started behaving so differently. Not cool...

When I went home, I decided to cheer myself up by watching the episode of The Bachelor I had recorded. And my GOD, it wound up being a good thing to watch before heading to bed! Some of those women are right out fucked up, man. The nasty-ass bachelor decided that they should have a pajama party. (Ok, he said that he had decided that they should, but I doubt he actually came up with the idea to put 8 women that he's dating all at the same time into up-the-butt lingerie, give them champaigne, play truth or dare, and see how the evening would progress from there. This had evil producer written alllll over it. And I loved it!) One girl, a throw-back from The Bachelor with Bob, got upset and started crying, and another girl thought she did it just to get attention from her man, and it pissed her off. Like to the point where she lost it, and started talking to him like she was his boss in a sweatshop sewing factory. When he gave her a fucking rose at the end and asked her to stay, I laughed, turned off the VCR, and headed to bed. Men. Are. Stupid.

As for work, the new boss is not making me happy. I called him yesterday, and he never called me back. That just really makes me wonder. My old boss (who is still technically my boss as well, but doesn't have absolute power over me any more like he used to...) would have called me back before the end of the day for sure if I left him a message while he was in a meeting/on the road. Anyway, my problem lies in the fact that the new boss has an old admin that still is helping him out with certain stuff. His old job has some loose ends that she's involved in helping him tie up, which is perfectly cool and fine. But she wants to be involved in things that are strictly MY job, and have been for the past 3 years. There is NO reason for her to be involved in any way in the HR aspect of my region's employees, and yet she's trying to get involved all the same. I don't understand why. So I stopped arguing with her about it. I called my new boss to ask him to step in and help. He didn't call me back. (I can't write him an e-mail about it, because she has access to them. Dammit.) So I'm irritated by that this morning. I sent him an e-mail that said that I was hoping he'd be able to find a minute to call me this morning, as I had a couple of questions. He said he'd try in a bit after a meeting he has to go to.

I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, because it is a transitional time, and he's going to have to be on the road for the next 3 weeks of it, which sucks. But when I call my boss, I expect him to call me back the same day. Period. They can even call me at home, you know? But whatever. It's a new thing. I'll try to relax about it a bit. I have the control over the situation right now that I need, which is the important thing.

Ok, before I start shooting fireballs out my nose just thinking about the other admin, I'd better shove off. Hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday. Yay for it being almost the weekend, eh? WOO!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Thanks Mom...:)

I asked my mother to give me guidance in life (my relationships in particular, of course...) last night before I went to bed. I didn't have any dreams that answerd my question for help...I did have weird dreams about weighing myself, etc...that I think were due to the impression that the new show on NBC called "The Biggest Loser" left on me, but no dreams that answered the question of whether I should stay the course I'm currently on with David (who likes to go by "Dave", actually, and so that's how I'll refer to him from now on...), or if I should release my concerns and let things go where they may.

Then I read today's quickie love horoscope: Rein in your high flyin' tendencies and walk slowly toward a new romantic goal. Don't let confusion distract you from this partnership.

Well ok, then. (That's much better than the crap it gave me about flying kites last week, at least!)

Thanks Mom! Love you...

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Why?

So, this guy that I wrote to on Yahoo! Personals last Friday (prior to the whole David thing happening)...yeah, I wrote him yesterday and said the following: "So, not interested, eh? Well, fine! Be that way! (You're so damned cute, though!) :P Anyway, I just thought I'd write and say I'm off the market for now, in case you were sitting there pondering whether you should or shouldn't write me back. (You should even if you're planning on rejecting me, btw...I think it's the nice thing to do.) I met someone over the weekend, and we're going to give things a go, it seems. And I really hate dating more than one person at a time...Which is all info that you're probably sitting there going, "So f-ing what?" But I thought I'd best say something, since I wrote to you in the first place." I then wished him good luck, and signed my name.

But I figured he wasn't interested. I mean, 3 days had passed! And I could see (via the miracle of Yahoo! telling me when the person had last logged in) that he had obviously been logged in at one point or another since I had written him my note. Since he hadn't responded, I simply assumed he thought I was shit.

So he writes back last night, and says the following: "Wow ... in the space of a few hours ... I go from feeling excited to be able to come home and relax and write to you ... since I checked this at work ... and didnt have the time to really collect my thoughts ... and here I come all excited to say hi ... and bam ... I'm made to be a piece of crap. Thanks ... I do hope things go well with your new beau ... I hope he is everything you need ... and thanks for being just slightly rude ... for what its worth you are cute ... and I was looking forward to a nice chat ... guess once again ... Im shown that women are just into their own ideas of dating and reality ... Im sorry if I come across as mean ... its not my style but clearly ... me being on yahoo is a joke ... so ... stay beautiful and best wishes ...." He signed it "Does it matter what my name is"

Shit. Ok, I didn't mean to make him feel bad! I really was just being a smart-ass. But I fucked up. And this guy is so cute! So I wrote him back, apologizing for seeming so nasty, and said that I hoped he would forgive me.

And now I want to chat with him in the worst way! I mean, I like David, but we're just starting to get to know each other. What if we don't wind up liking each other at all, outside of the enjoying watching sports/kissing each other's face stuff?

Sheit. Am I broken, or something? Fuckin' a...

My throat hurts.

I was yelling and screaming all the way to work today. First, jackass in a private driveway decided pulling out in front of me as I approached him at 30 MPH was a good idea. Then I went through two stop signs where people couldn't seem to remember the rules of the road. (i.e. Whomever gets there first goes first. GAH!) And then I had to deal with super-slow crossing-guard lady who seems to think that walking like a turtle will some how make the children safer on the crosswalk. Um, not with ME around, dumbass! The more you make me wait behind SUV guy that has to turn right, but can't do so until you clear the goddam intersection, and therefore holds up all the cars behind him from being able to continue on down the street (it's a two lane street...there's no room to go around those who are turning), the more irrate I become. So STOP with the sauntering! Hustle to the middle of the street, put up your stop sign, hustle the kids across the street, and then get your ass onto the curb, BITCH!! It should take no more than 20 seconds, and yet you somehow find a way to stretch it to lasting longer than 50. For a signal that stays green no longer than 1 minute 10 seconds, that doesn't work for me, m-kay? Fucking pains in my ass...

**********************

Watched the end of the Red Sox/Yankees game over at David's last night. I went there to give him my number, because he hasn't asked for it, and he needs to have it. Since the game was eternal, I was able to watch a good chunk of it there, and then see as the Red Sox held their own, and finally won it in the freaking 14th inning. It was nice. I'd really, really like for them to win this series, and go on to play in the World Series. I lived in Boston for 4 whole months once, and was right around the corner from the stadium. That makes me a Red Sox fan in my book. :)

**********************

David keeps asking me to stay over. But I've only known him for, what? An hour? I don't get it. He says it's not about sex...he really just wants to cuddle and sleep, blah, blah. See, I'm very bad at just cuddling. Doesn't work for me, especially not with new guys that I'm ragingly attracted to. I told him that I want to get to know him a bit better first. I can't help but think about how lonely he seems, which is understandable. He's an only child, and hasn't had a girlfriend in a while, apparently...I don't know. I've gotten really bad at being able to recognize the red flags, so that's why I figure getting to know him better might help. I don't know what it is I'm trying to get to know, but I'll figure it out when I come across it. I mean, I get lonely too! It is nice to go over and watch games with someone else, rather than sitting on my living room floor, smoking another cigarette while I cool down from my workout. It would have been nice to have stayed, I can admit that. But thankfully, I didn't have anyplace to put my contacts, and I was wearing terrible underwear. So there was no way I was taking off my jeans, and there wasn't any way I'd sleep in them. Plus, I live about 3 minutes from his house. So the too sleepy to drive home excuse doesn't work in our case, ever.

It's nice to feel like someone wants me around so badly...and it's nice to be there for him, too. But then again, most of my relationships start out like this. And then they grow tired of me. So I'm not holding my breath. I am trying to think positively about it, though. The advantage to him being on the older side (and never been married, and has no kids...) is that he seems like he's finally tired of being alone. He's never lived with anyone, he told me. So this could be a good thing. We'll have to wait and see...

Monday, October 18, 2004

Go away, Carlton...go away NOW!

Just a couple of phrases should help you climb right into my brain right now:

Carlton from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"

Imitating Tom Jones singing "It's Not Unusual..."



Damn. My. Brain. Damn it to hell, I say.

My weekend, in a nutshell. (How appropriate, no?)

I had a lovely weekend...I'm still recovering this morning, though. The headache I had all day yesterday has finally left me alone. But the tiredness from the Tylenol P.M. Sinus I finally wound up taking to get rid of it is sticking with me this morning. I'm hoping my big ol' Diet Pepsi will kick in any minute now...

So, Friday night, I stayed in and watched t.v. I found "The Pianist" on one of the random movie channels I have (Encore? I don't know...), and I'd never seen it, so I stopped there for a bit. And OMG...so grisly. So hard to watch. I'm a "Schindler's List" fan, but this was so much harder for me to watch, for some reason. Maybe because it dealt so much with just the one character. And his isolation and absolute desolateness (is that a word? Oh, you know what I mean...) was just about unbearable to watch and to imagine. I wound up watching the whole thing, even though I knew that it ended at 12:45, and I would have to find something else to watch for a bit afterwards to get my mind off of the horror that was the holocaust. It was an amazing movie...

Saturday was, of course, the USC game at the Blue Moose. I met a couple of people there last week when I went to watch, and they were there again. They'd saved me a seat at the bar. One of them, David, is an ASU fan (he went to college there), so it was instant rivalry time. He wanted to bet on the game, but we wound up agreeing to just a shot at the half for whomever was winning the game at that point. I'm not big on shots, and after last weekend's debauchery (drank waaaaayyy too much, and wound up passed out by 7 p.m. after throwing up my entire life into my toilet...), I wanted to take it easy, and not hurt myself, so the one shot was ok. And he was buying, since ASU was losing so very badly to USC at that point. After the game, David and I went over to a little French restaurant he loves that was across the parking lot, and we had wine, chatted, and flirted like mad. I wound up at his house, met his dog, watched some of the UCLA/Cal game, and then flew out the door as soon as I realized I needed to spend some more quality time with my bathroom floor again. (What's the old adage? "Wine before beer, have no fear. Beer before wine, just don't fucking do it"? I think that's it...) I felt terrible...I was not able to throw up this time before passing out, which meant I was hung-over as all get out yesterday morning. And I was scheduled to go watch the Chiefs game at the Blue Moose with my new friends at noon. Bleh...I was lucky to stumble in there by 12:45. I finally started waking up a bit at about 2, and then when we'd lost the game so very horribly, we all decided to head to another little bar that this new group of friends enjoys hanging out at.

It was a fun afternoon. I got to know the bartender that serves me on Saturdays while I watch the USC games (she was off on Sunday, and was hanging out with us...), and there were a couple of other people that were there that were really nice, and love to drink beer, and just are generally fun to be around. And then, at about 6:30, David just up and leaves...says, "Alright, I'm done. Bye!" And walks out the door, leaving a large amount of beer behind, and me very confused because I had been in the middle of one of my Kobe Bryant-loving tirades. So I felt terrible. One of the new friends, Melinda, started asking me what I thought about David, and I told her that I thought he was very cute, and really nice, if not a little bit old. (He's, um...46? I think? Yeah. 46...just a little bit of an age difference there. *sigh!*) And we were discussing his funky departure, and she says it's just something he does. I remember the dead boyfriend used to do that sort of thing. And it drove me NUTS. I hate it...

So I finally went home, and then decided I needed to know what the hell had happened, because if I wasn't going to be seeing David until next Saturday again, then I'd be driven crazy all week wondering if I'd said or done something wrong. I remembered sort of where his house was. I didn't remember what it looked like, or really what street it was on, but I took a shot. It's not far from my house at all. About 4 streets over, actually. And I knew that he parked his car in the garage (which is unusual in our neighborhood...for some reason, people keep shit stacked in their garages and allow their cars to bear the brunt of all the weather. Go figure, eh?), so I drove down the little street I thought it might be on, identified the house I thought it could be, and then went and rang the doorbell. (I could see a little bit through the shades in the window the table of pictures I had been looking at the night before, so I was sure by then that I had the right place.)

I'm not crazy...this was not a stalker-type thing to do, right? It doesn't matter, really. We wound up cuddling and smooching with the Red Sox/Yankee game playing in the background. He's just so much fun! And he said that he was feeling really crappy about what had happened, so he was glad that I'd come over, because his night was looking sooo terrible until I showed up. Which I thought was very sweet of him to say. He still has no idea where I live, and doesn't have my phone number...so running into each other is going to be the only way to get together again. The USC/UCLA game is on this Saturday, I believe. I'll be at the Moose again, of course...

Anyway, so that's how my weekend went. Wow, I'll need a bit more than a nutshell to hold all that in, won't I? I don't know how to feel abuot the age difference thing. Except that it shouldn't matter. He's a cool guy that owns his own home, wants to date someone seriously again, thinks I'm exceedingly adorable, and kisses like nobody's business. I like him. I'm going to see where it leads.

But damned if I didn't just put $20 into the Yahoo! Personals site! Sheesh...

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Football, anyone?

Yes, it's that time again...Saturday. College ball day. USC, baby! Ow!! (Thank you for the help "huge" font size...swear to God, that's what it's called. Just "huge". Nice. And this font is called "tiny". Just wanted to see how different the extremes looked when placed next to each other. Plus, I love the word "tiny". It's very cute.)

So, today, #1 USC is playing Arizona State (#19, thankyouverymuch), and I can't wait to see if we've pulled together our defense during this past week, so that the game won't be so fucking sit on the edge of my seat, bring me ANOTHER goddam raspberry wheat so I can handle this bullshit type of game for me. I hate watching good players wasting their time out on the field, which was what happened with our defense last week. Especially against a team like Cal. So while I'm glad that USC pulled off the win, and at home no less, it was tough to watch. Which is probably why I wound up rip-roaringly drunk last week, and came home to pass out at 7-freaking-p.m. That's not going to happen today. I have a plan...

Right now, I'm listening to K-state kick some Oklahoma (#2) ass in my living room as I type this. There are rare times when I will actually cheer/root for K-state. When they play Oklahoma, I am forced to do so. Right now, with Oklahoma in the #2 spot in the country (after their stupid, stupid win over Texas last week...I mean, come ON!! It was like Texas had gone home early, and they sent their guy cheerleaders and half the band out to play for them instead. It was CRAP!), I need K-state to put them in their place. Much like they did in their Big 12 Championship win over them last December. Which was just about the most fabulous night of the football year for me, really. Except that I was rooting for K-state. And it didn't have the eventual effect that I had hoped it would, which would be for USC to be heading to the Biggest Bowl Game of the Year (can't remember which one it is right now...the Fiesta Bowl? The Sugar Bowl? Fuck, I can't remember...) to play for their #1 spot, as they fucking deserved to do. However, somehow, the game wound up being played between LSU and some other school...I can't remember, because I didn't care about them. The game should have been played between USC and LSU, end of story. Or was it USC and Oklahoma that should have been there? Again, I can't remember. All I know is that the entire goddam country felt that USC was #1 (which they showed that to be true by kicking some A-double S in the Rose Bowl) but for some reason the BCS* didn't agree, their stupid computers decided it should be two other teams that should be playing in the ultimate country-wide championship bowl game, and USC wasn't one of them. So this year, I'm out for revenge. Against that BCS* system. And aiming for the Bowl Game Which I Can't Remember the Name of.

Yeah. I'm the coolest USC fan ever. Go me!

*Update: I had previously been referring to the BCS as the SEC. I don't even know that I know what the SEC is, and I cannot figure out why I had it in there. Which goes to show that as much as I love sports, I am still very, very ignorant when it comes to the details. Meh.

Friday, October 15, 2004

I...don't get it?

WTF? My "quickie" horoscope today in Yahoo! reads as follows: Your kite is stuck in the tree. And trying to get it down just isn't worth it.

Um, any ideas what the hell that's supposed to mean? Quickie horoscopes suck ass. I have no kite in any tree, and if I did, I probably would just leave it there. Because I'm not 12 anymore, and climbing trees to pull down a piece of shit kite that's probably broken anyway, and deserves to be in the tree, is not on my list of fun activities to tackle. So, thanks for telling me something I already fucking knew, horoscope! Ass.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Ah Morrissey, how I love thee...

Local alternative radio is playing Morrissey's "The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get" right now. I lu-uuuuve this song. It speaks volumes about my personality when it comes to relationships...and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Just a few of the lyrics from the song, in case you're wondering what I'm blathering on about...

The more you ignore me, the closer I get.
You're wasting your time.
The more you ignore me, the closer I get.
You're wasting your time.

I will beeeee
in the baaaaar
with my head on the baaaar
I am now
a central part
of your mind's landscape
whether you care, or do not.

Yeeees, I made up my mind...
The more you ignore me, the closer I get.
You're wasting your time.
The more you ignore me, the closer I get.
You're wasting your time.

Man, he just says it so well, doesn't he? Love it...

Well I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...I hope so.

Another quiet day at the office. My co-worker is having a meeting for all of the operations managers this week. And the bosses are speaking there this morning, and then heading off to a branch to visit. So I have the morning to myself. Yesterday was similar, except the bosses were in and out at times. I think they're going to be here most of the afternoon today, but in the meantime, I've got the place to myself.

Last night was a dinner with the operations people that I've (mostly) never had a chance to meet before. I have a friendly relationship with one or two of them, particularly the guy in Lawrence (who wants to know how he can find this blog, thanks to the free Bud Lights last night opening my big mouth for me...I don't know...it wouldn't be that big a deal, really. I trust him to not tell people about it. I think...), so it was a fun dinner. The guy from Lawrence and I have never met in person, so being able to sit next to him and talk shit about the person sitting across the table from us (we went to a rather noisy restaurant on the Plaza for dinner - Kona Grill - so we had to sort of speak up to be heard...) rather than gossiping and talking shit on the phone was a nice change. Although the person we were making fun of is super-duper nice. So we're both going to hell for it. But that's not news to us.

Anyway, so I was out last night for a bit. It wasn't super late when I got home, but for some reason, I could NOT wake up this morning...I let myself sleep in until about 6:50, and then I forced myself out of bed. Man, being a girl sucks sometimes! Because I'm sure I can blame the lethargy on the big P...there's just no other reason for it.

Also, on a totally different, completely unrelated note (because I'm random like that...), I'm having issues with Match.com. I changed my profile a bit yesterday. Stated in the very beginning of the thing that I'm looking to date people in a more serious manner eventually, but that doesn't mean that I'm not fun, etc...it just means that I'm not just looking for another little "fling" type o' relationship, you know? I also say at the end of my profile that some people don't subscribe to Match, and so putting an e-mail address in the note people send to folks might be a good idea, especially if they're looking to get a date! I then state that if you write to me in ALL CAPS, you can expect to be ignored. Because I think it's tacky.

So I get this note from the fine folks at Match that tells me that they can't post my profile due to problems that involve either incomplete or nonsense statements, inappropriate content, etc...and I need to change some things and then re-submit it.

Wha...? I mean, it's not perfect, but it's not inappropriate, or grammatically incorrect at all. But since they haven't identified the problem with my profile specifically, I don't know what to fix! And if they have issue with me saying that not everyone subscribes, well, that's been in my profile for the last 4 months, so I don't know what they're problem is. I'm wondering if they're bothered by the fact that I said that people who write to me in all caps will be ignored. But that's just the truth, and I can't believe they wouldn't allow me to say something like that. So I sent a note to the customer service department, asking them what the specific problem is, because I know of WAY inappropriate content in loads of the profiles that I've come across in my searches...men have actually stated that you can write them at their username "at the y", and in one case, someone actually says what they're e-mail address is in their profile!! Which is majorly against the rules on any pay-to-contact-someone dating site. (I tried to get away with it once on some random site, and they were all, "Do you think we're stupid?" I didn't think they were stupid...I just thought they might not notice was all...never hurts to try, I figure!) So I don't understand why they're picking on me. And if they want me to subscribe again? Well, they're working their way towards getting me to go away for good, actually. Fuckers.

Then again, I am only being contacted by some very unusual men...the ALL CAPS talkers, and the guys who live in Topeka, and the guys who state that they only want to date "athletic and toned" or "slender" women, and the guys with - ew! - a monobrow! (How do people still go through life like that, in this day and age? Sheit...) So maybe it's time to move on to a new service. Or try the old fashioned hang out at a bookstore idea, or start talking to the cute men I see at the local supermarket sometime. The USC game is going to be another watch-at-the-Blue Moose game this weekend, so maybe I'll run into a guy there. Who knows? But this online thing is getting old.

Eh...even if I leave it, I'll probably be back on it in another month. Because I'm a Match.com slut, remember? Bleh.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Lots and LOTS of TMI...just warning you.

Boys, you might want to just move along past this post. Women are probably the only ones who can (or who will want to) relate to this topic...

Last month, when I went out shopping to stock up for my monthly feminine needs, I was unable to find my regular product that I use. Since I was a freshman in college (yes, it took me 5 years to move on from the bulky pads to the wonder that is a tampon, ok? I was afraid of the penis until I was 19, too, alrighty?), I have used Playtex Gentle-Glide regular absorbency plastic applicator unscented tampons. They make me happy. They are always the same, even when the packaging has changed, and applicators became smoother (I never noticed a difference or a problem in the first place, so whatev), and I've liked them. I've liked them lots.

And until last month, when I visited 3 different stores in search of my faithful monthly pal, I have been using them without fail. But I couldn't find them last month! At 3 stores? That's just funky, isn't it? I mean, there's not even a space on the shelf for them, as though they'd all been purchased already by the lucky women who happened to prepare for their period before I did. They just aren't there at. all. The same thing is happening this month. (Which is going to prompt me to write a note to Playtex, but I digress...) Anyway...

So. I was forced...to become...(augh! I don't want to say it!) a Pearl Girl!!!

Ok, here's the thing: I don't mind the things. They work fine. The packaging is sort of cutsie and all, which is unnecessary in my mind, but since I don't know anything about the marketing of tampons, I guess I'll just let it be. They're comparably priced, of course, and they offer me a regular absorbency unscented tampon with a plastic (and very smooth, indeed) applicator, which is all that I ask for from this world, honestly. (Meaning the "world" of tampon manufacturing...not the world-world. All I ask of that is for the man of my dreams to come along soon, to be carrying a suitcase full of money - preferably at least a mill - along with him, and for my family to be magically healthy and fabulous, but that's another post entirely, isn't it?)

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that it has sucked to have to transition off of a product that I've used so very faithfully for the past 12 years. And I don't get it. Am I the only woman left that only needs regular absorbency throughout her P? Or that doesn't like the flowery, grandma's-perfume-in-her-crotch-type smell that I feel emanates from the scented tamps they have on the market? Because I've noticed that they do have the boxes of the unscented super absorbency/regular absorbency on the shelves for me to purchase. But, as I have no need for half of what's in the box, it's not a prudent purchase. So I've just been forced to move on to an entirely new product. Which was weird, and sort of uncomfy (I felt like I was betraying an old friend...which I do find odd, and I'm looking into finding a therapist, I swear...), and I didn't like it one bit.

But I'm moving past it. Slowly. It's still feeling weird. And I guess I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that's noticed this problem on the store shelves? It's just so bewildering to me...

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Who's on first?

I received an e-mail this morning that I was cc'd on. In the e-mail, my co-worker in Texas told a manager in my region that it was their responsibility to review info and make sure it's correct in our HR system.

I just received an e-mail from the manager in my region asking me the following question: "Is this something I need to do? She says it is my responsibility...."

Frighteningly. Uncommon. Sense.

Do I really have to tell this person that it is indeed their responsibility, and that they need to do what the person told them to in the original e-mail? Yes, yes I do. Here's what I wish I could say in response: "No, she's clearly referring to another [manager] who's responsibility it is. Go on about your other business. Don't worry about what she's instructed you to do at all." But instead, I have to be nice, and tell this person that they do have to do what she has told them to do, and if they need the instructions from me on how to do it, to just let me know. Actually, I'll probably just include the instructions, because damned if they'll know what to do without me telling them for the gazillionth time!

I really hope I'm the only person who has to deal with people like this in their job. Or at least that I'm the only one who gets paid such shit money for doing it.

Perfectly Autumn

It's a perfectly lovely, foggy (??) drizzly day here in KC. It's cool outside, the trees are changing color, and even though people still find a way to drive like fuckheads even when there's just a slow pitter-patter of raindrops involved, we're all seeming to enjoy the sudden change in weather we're encountering.

I love this time of year. As I pulled away from my house this morning, watching to make sure my garage door closed all the way (weird habit...it's not broken, or anything), I could see my little ceramic jack-o-lantern setting on my porch looking out at passers-by, smiling it's fun little orange grin at them. It's small, but it's just the right size for my porch, and it stands out well against the pale peachy color of my siding. And, as I'm not an over-decorator-type person, the jack-o-lantern serves it's purpose well. Telling people that see it that I am in the spirit of things, and hopefully giving them a little warm Autumn feeling as they pass by my place.

So, I'm in a lovely mood today, and I hope most everyone else reading this is as well. I'm a happy girl right now, even though I have all of about $60 to my name, and no real man to speak of that's interested in me. (I started thinking last night that John Cusack might be my soul mate...I was watching High Fidelity as I finished up on the treadmill...and thought about how unfortunate it is that he and I haven't really had a chance to meet yet. If anybody can help us out with that, I'm sure we'd be deeply indebted. You'll definitely be invited to the wedding...) My toilet backed up again last night, and I was really pissed because I've been making a really conscious effort since the last back-up to do things as nicely as possible to the toilet. Refraining from tossing any unnecessary items down there, etc...But it's only been 2 months, and it backed up again. I called the Twin crying, of course. She encouraged me to call dad, which I did, and he gave me some pointers as to how I could try to clear the clog myself. I hadn't yet tried to plunge it (since it was still in high water mode when I initially started calling people, and then I only had one hand, and I'm not about to dangle my head over my backed-up toilet while I try to plunge it with one hand, and balance my cell-phone on my shoulder with the other. That's just a disaster waiting to happen...), and so when I finally got off the phone with dad, I plunged it, cleared the clog, and felt very, very proud of myself. Then I went to sleep.

So I don't know what this mood is. But I'm going to ride it as long as I can, dammit! I should be deep within the throws of PMS, and wherever it's gotten itself off to, I sure hope it stays there for a while. :)

Monday, October 11, 2004

Ok, so as I was SAYING...

I lost a good post to Blogspot's little idiosyncracies earlier today. (Well, that combined with my stupidity with not having pasted the copied post to a safe place made it all come together just right...) So I'm gonna give it another go. But it was an award-winner, I'm tellin' ya...

So, anyway, I have had this little problem with all the men I've dated since graduating from college, it seems. They all mention, usually early on in the getting-to-know-me phase, that they consider themselves to be "enigmas", or compare themselves to a puzzle that needs to be solved in order to get to know them properly. To which I am finally saying right out, "Fuck that shit, sir!"

I personally think some people took James Bond a bit too seriously when growing up. They must think it makes them seem more mysterious, or something. But guys? Lemme clue you into to something: you're just HUMAN. I know, it's a big shock to some of you, so give it a moment to really sink in. Ok?

Ok. Deep breath now...let's move on.

So, here's the deal: we all grow up with different influences and different ideas in our heads, and the same thing doesn't happen to everyone, which means that experiences are varying from time to time. This does NOT a puzzle make, you silly geese! Take my twin and I, for example. Grew up in the same room? Check. Had the same friends? Check. Same brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, etc...? Check. But she had diabetes from age 6, and I did not. I got fat, grew boobs, and had horrible acne starting at the wonderful age of 11. She did not. She has children - which is not my bag. I lost a boyfriend in a fire when I was 23. She's never lost anyone she's loved like that, I'm pretty sure.

So, see what I mean? We grew up in virtually the same way. But because we had different influences and experiences and all that, we are very different people from each other. EVERYONE is like that! Yes, you can find commonalities in certain cases. But the fact remains that we all have different things that make us into the people that we are. But that doesn't mean that we've been twisted into some puzzle that people we come across have to solve.

Now, you can choose to keep some things from people...maybe you prefer to play some sort of game with the shit that has contributed to the personality you currently possess. I don't know. Have fun letting them guess at why it is you pout whenever someone gives you red gloves for a Christmas present...if that's fun for you, then more power to you. But that doesn't give you the right to say to a person, "I'm an enigma. Don't try to figure me out." Because, WTF? Do you think you're special because you fell out of love with your girlfriend 3 relationships ago, and yet you continued to live with her not knowing how to move on, until the day she finally left YOUR ass, and now you feel it's created some sort of curvey, undefineable shape to your goddam personality, which you get off on somehow taunting current girls you're dating with? (Ok, hopefully that makes sense to whoever is reading this...because it totally sounds fine to me. After I read it a couple of times...)

My point is, we all have to deal with not knowing what's going to happen next sometimes. If you think that gives you the right to call yourself an enigma, then get over it. Because everyone is...solveable. Everyone has a key to themselves. And you either want to let people in, or you aren't ready for them yet, and you want to just give it time before you let them see more of what makes you the person you are, or you don't think they're worth your time, and you fucking move on. But STOP with the whole, "I'm mysterious. Love me because you can't stand not knowing what makes me the person I am..." game, because it's old. And it's stupid. And those are just two of the many reasons it should stop.

Whew! Ok, that didn't come out the same way it did earlier. Personally, I think the post that didn't post blew this one away. But, come on...it's been a long day. And I'm tired. So hopefully it made just a little bit of sense. Because that IS, after all, what I'm trying to get at with this whole blog thing.

Shut UP!

My "quickie" horoscope today at Yahoo!: "The skies may be cloudy. But there's sunshine out there if you just look hard enough."

Fuck off. That's all I have to say about that.

Damned blogspot.

That's all.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Game on?

What a mess. Tomorrow is the big (HUGE! GIGANTIC, even!) USC vs Cal game. And I'm in the midwest. You know, where they like their steers fresh off the prairie, and the corn grows high as an oak tree in heat? Ok, so that doesn't make sense, but here's my problem: They aren't playing the USC/Cal game on t.v. in Kansas! Nooooo, we get to watch the Oklahoma vs Texas game. Which is a big game as well, admittedly. But I'm a USC fan, dammit! Doesn't ABC know what they're doing to me? AUGH!

So, thank God for the big bro-in-law, who knows that watching this game is as important to me as it would be if I had actually gotten to go to USC like I wanted to. I've been to two of the games in person. Once at Cal, when I was dating a Berkeley boy (booooooo, hissssssss....), which USC won, and the other time was an outing a bunch of us took after mom passed away, when we watched the game at the coliseum. USC vs Cal. And Cal won. The bastards.

Anyway, bro-in-law called me to see what my plans were for watching the game. I actually was planning on working a good amount of time in the office tomorrow, and just learned tonight before leaving work that the game is on at 2:30 my time. Ok, so I go into the office a bit earlier than I had planned, and head home to watch the game by 2. Well, I was unaware of this whole Texas/Oklahoma thing, and did not prepare accordingly. So I can either buy the College Game Day thingy for a day from my cable company (for a measley $19.99, according to bro), or I can find a bar that might have it, and will play the game for me.

So I thanked bro-in-law for thinking ahead and giving me the info. Had it not been for him, I would have been parked on my couch tomorrow at about 2:05 p.m. freaking out about the fact that they weren't playing the game on ABC here in the midwest. Because I'm an idiot like that. I called a couple of my fave bars, and found out that the one about 5 minutes from home (The Blue Moose) will be playing the game without a problem. See, the thing is, I'd love to watch the Oklahoma/Texas game, too. So now, I'll hopefully have both the games going, as well as a fresh Raspberry Wheat in front of me throughout the broadcasts!

The ultimate in coolness? I'll be watching the games by myself. No biggy. I can always call the bro-in-law, knowing that he's watching the game too, albeit from his comfy couch in his living room. Had we planned this a bit better, I would have been flying to Houston tonight to watch the game tomorrow, and have a good time out at the bars tomorrow night, and then flying back home on Sunday. But we did not plan it better. Because we suck. Eh...maybe next year. Besides, I have a big work week ahead, and need to make sure the office is in as neat a condition as possible for the new boss that I will be meeting with on Monday. It would be sucky to be tired for such an event, since, when I'm tired, and a bit out of it, I tend to let any ol' thing just fly out of my mouth. And I need to behave around the new guy. At least for the first week, you know?

So, THAT is what's going on with me today/tonight. Such a bore, I know. Now I must go make a few phone calls to see if maybe I can actually find a couple of people that might be willing to meet up with me to watch the game tomorrow. Because, well, it'd just suck to be watching it alone, you know?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

My bladder is a jerk...

All morning, I didn't have to pee. Which is weird. Weird to the point that by 11 a.m., I was sitting here wondering whether this was actually a sign from God warning me about some sort of major change that might be in the works. I had had the same amount of liquid that I usually do by that time of day. Probably about 48 oz of water, and a little bit o' juice I use to take my vitamins with in the morning. So I didn't get it. I finally went to pee at about 11:30. But I'm not sure that I actually even needed to. Weird. (I usually go about once per hour, if not more, fyi. And not just for fun, either. I usually need to go pretty badly by the time I pry my ass out of my chair to haul it down to the ladies room...)

And now, since I ate lunch? I've peed about 450 billion times. It's like my bladder was all, "Oh MAN! I cannot wait to play the whole fake-her-out-and-pretend-I-moved-out game today! Woo!"

So, yeah...fabu job, bladder. You got me good! Making me think that my body was actually going to start absorbing some of the hydration I feed it daily, and not spit it out as quickly as it possibly can after it's entered my mouth. Nice one.

I'll find a way to get back at my bladder some day. Maybe get my toughened lungs to mosey down and give it a what's for, and teach it how to be a tough mutha-fucker, or something.

On a side note, how does 12 oz of water seemingly turn itself into what MUST be about 32 oz, if not more, of piss? And while we're at it, how does my head produce so very much snot when I have a head cold? Where does it all come from, anyway?

Wait. Don't answer that. I really, really am sure I don't want to know...

Maybe if I stand really still...

Ok, still super-busy. My plan this morning is to attack the piles of stuff on my desk, ignore the e-mails and all phone calls until it's all taken care of. Because I'M in charge, dammit! That's right!

I've been at war with Dickhead via e-mail for the past two days. Of course, I feel I'm winning. He's addressing points that are totally irrelevant, and ignoring the main issue I'm addressing in my notes to him, which is that he needs to own up to the fact that he can be cruel and cold to people sometimes, and that every now and then, a person just needs a friend they can talk to, and not another goddam lecture. I keep telling him that unless he's apologizing to me, it's useless for him to even write me back, but for some reason, he does. Each time, he says something about how "if I devoted the kind of energy I was aiming at being angry with him at something good for myself, then I might be in a happier place..." To which I say, um, shut the hell up!! Who is he to say that I'm unhappy? Jerk. I'm responding to his nastiness/cockiness, and giving him an earful. That actually gives me some relief I've been needing (obviously, I've been wanting to tell him off for a while. Sooooo glad I finally am!), and that adds to the happiness I already have. So I told him to fuck right off. I hope he does...

Anyway, I don't have the technology know-how to create a link to music, or anything, plus, I can't download shit into my computer at work (or at home for that matter!), but I was listening to an album I haven't pulled out in a while on my way to work this morning, and thought I would at least share the lyrics with you. 'Cuz it's some good shit.

"Single Girl" by Lush
Single girl, I don't want to be a single girl
Single girl, I don't want to be a single girl
Don't want to be on my own again tonight
Don't want to put out the light
Single girl, I don't want to be a single girl
Single girl, who would want to be a single girl
Don't want to talk to myself again tonight
Don't want to put out the light

When you abandoned me
Well, it was heaven sent
When I abandoned you
It was what you meant
Well, it was me that knew it
And it was you that went
Haven't changed our minds it was meant to be

Ooooooooooooooo-wa!

Don't want to clean up your mess again tonight
Don't want to be in a fight
And I can do what I want again tonight
With who I choose, it's alright
Single girl, I just want to be a single girl

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

OMG!! Sooooo busy...

I can't believe how busy I've been at work lately. Barely any time to even take a lunch every day. But I find it's necessary to take the break mid-day, and try to regain some focus, and have some "me" time. Unfortunately, it's meant not having enough time to blog, really, but that's ok. Y'all probly needed a break from the numerous posts per day thing that had been happening for a while there. :)

So, I'm almost out the door for the day (yay!), and am very excited to say that (a) tomorrow is Thursday! Not only is it taco salad day, but it's also one day closer to Friday, and that's almost the weekend, my friends. Yes indeedy, I am a happy girl about that. (b) Tonight is also one of my FAVE t.v. nights during the week. Not only is Lost on at 7, but then I get to watch all the whiny bitches on The Bachelor after that, and THEN Wife Swap is on. Woo! (c) I have laundry to do. Which isn't exciting. Unless you were within smelling distance of my hamper. Dayum!!!

So I hope everyone else is having a fine mid-week. Comment and tell me what's going on out in the world! I've barely had time to read one or two of my fave blogs this week, and I miss you all already!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Not everyone knows, so...

I thought I'd post your Friendly Tip for the Day. In case you were wondering about how long you should keep things like old paper bills, loan docs, and marriage certs lying around, here's a helpful article that answers the questions I had, anyway. (Although I will always maintain that it's total crap to have to save bank info...statements, cancelled checks, etc...for 7 years, I've never been audited. So perhaps I'd think differently if that ever happened.)

But, FYI, if you have to ask whether you should hang on to your marriage certificate for any indefinite amount of time, you might have maybe wanted to wait a while until your brain actually completely developed/healed from any trauma before going ahead with the union. Same goes for the question of whether you should put the deed to your house in a safe deposit box or not. I mean, perhaps you're the type that prefers to store it in a cardboard box constantly soaked in flammable liquid surrounded by candles, because you like to live life on the edge. I myself am a safety girl. Besides, I think it's cool to have a safe deposit box. Made me feel like even more of a grown up to store something at my bank than buying the house itself did!

Now I must get back to work in my iceberg of an office. (I've been calling building management for two days about how the air, even though the thermostat is all the way up at warm for our office, constantly blows through my vent on me until late afternoon. My hands are frozen right now...and the bitch in the management office sounds annoyed with me for having to call again because no one ever came by to respond to my complaint /issue yesterday. It SUCKS!!) Wishing all of you very comfy work environments...

Monday, October 04, 2004

Too busy to blog? Eh, whatever...

The ex-ex-boyfriend and I had a conversation last night that helped me remember why he is the ex-ex-boyfriend...made me cry lots, because he has this way of saying things that make me feel about as big as my pinky finger, and it sucked. But I'm over it. I reacted in my usual bitter way, and am done with re-visiting that relationship. I've learned a little bit about myself over the past couple of months, which I feel is a direct result of hanging around him again...and they're good changes. So I'm grateful that he was there for me when I needed him, but it's gotten tired. And I'm sick of him saying the nasty little things he says to me without thinking about how crappy they could sound to me, and then blaming my reaction to his comments on my own ineptness at being able to react properly. ?? He's a dickhead. He always will be a dickhead. I don't want to deal with his dickhead ass no mo.

Quick example of what set me off this time: last night, I was supposed to have a date with Josh. Unfortunately, Josh has the flu, and can't go out. He sounds terrible, and I tell him to get some Gatorade and some sleep, and I'll talk to him soon to see how he's doing. I then call Dickhead (formerly known as ex-ex...) to see if he wants to get together to go play some pool, or something. I make the comment that it sucks that my evening was ruined, because I'd stayed in all weekend, and was really looking forward to heading out. He then comments about my lack of friends.

Ok. Not cool.

So we go off on the tangent about my friends, and how it's been difficult for me to make them, and I have tried, but work isn't an opportunity to make them (there are 4 of us in this office...), and I've tried elsewhere, but nothing is clicking. Doesn't mean I've given up, really. I'm slowly making friends through this blog, and that's fun. Unfortunately, a lot of people who have stuff in common with me (i.e. no kids, penchant for watching sports while having a couple of beers somewhere, etc...) are in other states. Which sucks. But there's not much I can do about that. He tells me (and this isn't new, which is why things went downhill as they did...) that I need to find hobbies and other activities that get me out meeting new people that have stuff in common with me. Ok, my interests consist of watching sports, drinking beer, and singing. However, hanging out at a sports bar that sometimes has kareoke all by my lonesome in hopes that I might meet people sounds like a bad idea to me. And it's not that I'm just being negative...it's just not something that would work.

Anyway, the conversation continued, but my point is, I don't need someone pointing out my lack of friends, ok? What I needed was to find someone who wanted to go play pool and have a couple of beers. And let's get this straight: I have friends. However. They either have a brand new baby, or they have one that they're overdue to give birth to, or they live in California or Seattle. The other friends I have? Let's see...that's 3 single guys. One, as we already know is down sick with the flu. The other one I haven't spoken to a whole lot in the past few weeks, but he's poorer than I am, and I need someone to pony up on the tab with me, so he's not going to work. And so I called the last friend I have that has the ability to put the random shit he's currently doing on hold, and go out with me for a couple of hours. Instead, I got a lecture from Captain Dickhead about how I need to find a hobby so I can make new friends.

That is why Dickhead is no longer a friend. Because he cannot see how it might be entirely inappropriate to make a comment like, "You have no friends. You need to go out and find ways to make some." In his eyes, what was inappropriate was my reaction to his comments (i.e. crying and getting defensive). I'm giving up my power doing things like crying when someone says something so entirely out of line and cruel to me. So I need to adjust my reaction, according to him.

Anybody else understanding why it is that I think it's going to be hard for this man to ever find a woman that will actually love him someday? I think she'll have to be a deaf, blind, mute. Yep...that'd probably be perfect for him.

Anyway, work is insanely busy, and I feel a bit overwhelmed and out of control lately. I'd better get back to it before I totally lose it. Might blog more later after I have a chance to peruse the news of the world. Because Lord knows that I need to focus on some outside shit for a bit. I'm tired of me right now. :)

Hope everyone is having a lovely Monday!

Friday, October 01, 2004

The Big Story. (And it's not about the debates...)

I'm confused. Not news, I know, but bear with me. Lori Hacking's "body" was found today, and it's sparked a bit of controversy in me.

I remember a story being reported on ABC, or something, recently where they were questioning the reason why it is that we focus on the missing persons that we do in this country in a wide-spread media type of way. The Lori Hackings and the Lacy Petersons, etc...

There are sooooo many other missing persons that never get any media coverage at all! It's quite shocking actually. When I did a search tonight on Yahoo! for "missing women", for some reason, it turned up site after site and story after story about missing women in Vancouver. WTF? Then I searched on "missing persons", and I stumbled across a simple list of the top missing people on the most wanted list from the FBI. I counted 35 women (several of which are children) that are currently missing in this country. And that's just on the FBI list! Some of them are missing under circumstances that make them suspect in murders or other suspicious occurences. Most of them are missing just in the most random way possible...

Why do we pay attention to the ones we do? It makes no sense to me...

When I was a kid, my twin and I were friends with a girl who's mother disappeared. Her family was getting ready to go on a camping trip, or something. The woman and her two kids (the girl we were the same age as and her little brother) had gone shopping to pick up some of the stuff they needed. When they got home, the kids went running inside the house while their mother continued to unload the groceries from their Volvo station wagon. An hour later, their father came home. Found the kids alone, and the car was left open, and a bag of groceries was strewn across the driveway behind the station wagon. There wasn't a sign of the mom anywhere.

I remember we used to play cards with the little girl at the country club when we were taking a break from swimming and horsing around at the pool. They played tennis, too. Her mom used to drive us places, but I don't remember exactly where or why. She was a tall, thin woman with bobbed blond hair. She was a nice lady, and her daughter was what I would consider to be a friend in those early years. Her little brother annoyed us...but that's what little brothers are all about, right?

They found the woman's body a couple of days later. If I recall correctly (and I could be way off on this...after all, I was about 9 when it happened!), it was hundreds of miles away...northeast, maybe? In the desert, or something. There was no reason why she was taken and killed the way she was. At least, not in my 9-year-old mind, there wasn't. They didn't have any idea of who had done it, or why. All they knew was she was taken from her driveway, next to her home, while her children were inside someplace, maybe finding a game to play to while away the hours before they left for their vacation with their parents.

Even as a little kid, I was struck with the thought that the poor father had been suddenly left to raise his children alone. And that those kids, that I knew, and had even played with on a regular basis, didn't have a mom anymore.

I wonder, now, what those kids are like. I wonder if they ever found the person or people that took that mother that I knew from her driveway and killed her for no reason. Did the husband ever have the guts to remarry? Did he ever have the desire to?

Lori Hacking is a sad story indeed. And I don't know if we'll ever really know what happened to Lacy Peterson. But they aren't the only ones. I don't know why it's bearing so strongly on my mind right now. But it is. So there.

Weird bumps in the night...

I heard some strange stuff last night when I should've been sleeping, but was, for some reason, up and wandering around my house instead. First of all, the last two nights, I have found myself waking up quite suddenly, turning on the light, and not knowing what the hell is going on. It's weird. So what I usually do is get up, go to the bathroom (because I always, always have to pee...), and then climb back into bed and promptly fall back asleep. Last night, the funkiness happened at about 2:30, I found myself sitting up in bed with the light on, and I didn't know what had made me do it. I'm thinking I'm having bad dreams that I don't remember, but that are scaring me just enough that I need to have the light on, or something. Anyway, so I get up, pee, and then climb back into bed (always a bit apprehensive about turning the light off again, because, well, I turned it on for a reason...), and try to go back to sleep. Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a large pebble hitting glass, but the sound didn't come from the direction of my window, it came from the area where my lamp is on my bedside table. I lay there for a minute trying to make sense of the noise, which I couldn't, and then I must've drifted back off to sleep...

Then at about 4, a clap of thunder woke me up. There wasn't any rain, and there was just that one clap of thunder, so, again, I got up, peed, and then decided to close all the windows, because it was scheduled to rain, and it had warmed up in the house due to the change in weather/temps outside, and I can't sleep when it's 74 degrees in my house. (I sleep best in 68 degree temps...everybody does, apparently.) But before I closed the windows, I heard a whistle from outside. It struck me as weird because it was a human whistle, and not one from a random owl or any other kind of bird. It whistled twice, stopped, and then once more, and that was it. I stood there for a second in the middle of my living room, and thought about what it could have been. I immediately thought that it was a bit odd, because it happened directly after I had flipped on the light in my living room, and it didn't sound all that far away. So I opened my blinds that cover the window on my front door, and looked outside. I didn't see anything. I looked in my neighbors yards across the street, and saw nothing, and didn't see anything around the front of their homes, either. I didn't see anything at all, actually! No strange cars, no animals...nothing. I closed the windows, and then decided to look out my back porch window as well, just to be sure. All I found out there was another damned huge spider building a web on my phone lines that are suspended above the back porch. He'd cought some dinner. I silently congratulated him, and then shut off the light again. I didn't worry too much about intruders because I have an alarm that's motion sensitive and is also set off when any one of the 3 doors to my home is opened. So, if they come in a window, they're going to set off the motion detector alarm (which is louder than loud...I would NOT recommend anybody ever set off my motion detector alarm. It's deafening...), and if they come in a door, they set off the other one. AND the police are auto-dispatched to my home when either one goes off. So I feel pretty safe with that baby. I went back to sleep without a problem, and woke up normally when my alarm went off this morning.

So what were the weird noises? Will I continue to have this strange phenomenon of waking up, turning on the light, and not knowing what drove me to do it happen night after night? Will I ever find out why it is that Hilary Duff even makes money from that scary "singing" she does? These are all questions that plague me as the day wears on...I guess I'll find out soon enough. (Except about the Hilary Duff thing...really, if someone can help me out on that, I'd appreciate it.)