Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Like magic...

Dave finally called tonight. I'm glad...I was getting quite worried, and in my PMSy state, I was all worked up about what the hell might be going on. Turns out that last night, he went home and went to bed because he was feeling pretty crappy. (He was starting to feel a cold coming on when we woke up on Sunday. But he continued to carouse on Sunday during the day, and then we were up a bit late on Sunday watching a movie...he did fall asleep during it, though.) And he hadn't called me yet today because he hadn't yet gotten my simple, off-the-cuff message I left him earlier when I came home from work early. (They were predicting icky things with the snowfall amounts...I didn't want to get stuck, so I left early. The snow never happened, of course.) It was a great message, too! All I said was that it was me, and I was home early because of the predicted snowfall, and then said, "Call me!" And that was it. Well, 4 hours passed, and I still hadn't heard from him, and even walking on the tread for 50 minutes did nothing for me. So I called again, and told him to at least just call me quickly to let me know if he was ok. And if he's mad at me, then fine, tell me that and I'll leave him the hell alone. So two seconds later, he calls me. He told me about how he was asleep last night, and then referred to my lovely second message of last night in which I stated that perhaps he was mad at me because my team was winning. He was all, "That's just so silly! Don't you think that would be a ridiculous reason for me to be mad?" I explained that I know how passionate he is about sports, and I couldn't put it past him that it might make him mad. Then I told him that it's hard to read his tone a lot of the time. I mean, unless he's cooing in my ear about how nice I smell or about how he likes my touch, he has a tendency to sound like he's irritated. (Another reason that he and I might be meant for each other. I have a condescending tone, I've been told. Can you imagine? Between his tone and my tone, we could really damage some kids, should that ever occur. But it won't, thank goodness...) So I never really know when he might be mad. Tonight was easy. I could tell that he realized that I was a bit scared that he was losing interest in me. I think he actually likes the attention I'm giving him this time around, though. So while he was definitely mocking me for the messages I'd left yesterday, he was still very conciliatory, and seemed like he was "making nice". He kept mentioning how silly I was being. I told him I'm a very silly girl. He agreed, and then the commercial break during LOST ended, and he said, " show is back on. Gotta go." It's a good thing it's my show as well...:)

It's so odd that I was starting through the crappy feelings that I was so afraid might happen eventually, though. All weekend, I was worried about being so happy and contented with how things were. All weekend, I told myself not to get my hopes up, because it sucks just that much more when it all comes to a screaching halt. And that happened today, you know? I tried to busy myself...working hard at work (well, sort of. I had little ambition to work, so really, it was kind of a forced thing, I think...), came home and did laundry and cooked things and got on the treadmill. I even wrote down some stuff that was going through my head about him, so I could get it out and let it lie, but that didn't work all that well. And now I know I was just being silly.

I really wish all things were as simple as bacon.

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