Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Need a little help from the girls...

Ok, this is a TMI post. Just to warn you.

I need some helpful advice from all my girls out there. Here's the deal: I'm afraid to swallow. Not so much afraid, really...but just concerned about it, for some reason. Maybe a little background info will help...

Ok, I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 18 years old. And even then, it was not the right time or the right guy or the right anything. So I didn't wind up liking sex all that much until I met my favorite boyfriend my sophomore year in college. With him, it was natural and fun and easy. And life was good again. He was the first person I felt comfy enough to go down on. And it was a good time for both of us. I realized that while beejers can be a little bit of work (as Samantha from Sex & the City says, "They call them 'jobs' for a reason..."), I actually liked doing them, which was a nice surprise to me.

Ok, most guys up until this point in my life have not minded the fact that I don't swallow. I've never tried, and it's really never been an issue with them, happily. (Here's the really, really TMI part...) We either finish up with sex, or I give a boob job (because dammit, the girls are very good for that sort of thing, IMO) and they finish up on my chest or belly, or they finish on themselves. And I always offer to clean up. Because I'm cool like that.

But I want to be more cool, dammit! I want to swallow! I do. But I'm freaked out by it, for some reason. At this point, Dave seems to be a little bothered by the fact that he's given so much to me (because he likes it, apparently...go me!) and gotten pretty much nothing but some half-assed hand jobs from me in return, and I sincerely don't blame him. In my Really, I have no defense. I want to have sex with him, he keeps saying that we will soon, but we haven't yet (this past weekend was a bad weekend for me, what with my being in a girlie way and all...), and to be quite honest, I find beejers to be a bit more intimate than sex, even. Most guys don't get that. I don't really, either, but it's the way I am. But I really want to please him in return. So I'm struggling with this at this point.

I also have a subconscious fear that I'm not good at giving them. I've never had any complaints, but for some reason (I think because of the fact that I've never stepped up to the swallowing plate) I think I'm not good at it.

So tell me I have nothing to worry about, will you girls! Tell me to just get over myself already, and take the plunge so I can make my man as happy as he makes me every time I see him! (Yes, you heard me right. Every. Time. He is a good man, my friends...this morning, had I not needed to get up and head to work, I would've shown him my appreciation, I'm sure. But time didn't allow for more than my turn. And the funny thing is that he keeps saying that he's not going to do it any more...but he just keeps on doing it! I really, really want to fix this problem, if I can...)

Any advice for me?


FaithsTwin said...

Nope. No advice here- I never have either. Don't want to. Don't have any reason to. They cvan finish it off themselves. They got excellent work from me, and they can finish it up! I. Don't. Swallow.

I know I'd gag and maybe even toss my cookies and I think they'd prefer finishing in a nicer way than that, right?

No worries, Twin. He'd be happy just to get that sensation for a little while, IMO.

Faith said...

That's actually pretty surprising to me, Twin. But I think you're right. As usual, I'm overthinking things, aren't I? Sheit...

lyn said...

sigh. you have to swallow. it's totally rude if you don't. and when guys say they don't care, they are lying.

so what's the big deal about swallowing? it doesn't taste bad. honestly, every guy tastes different. it totally depends on what they eat. (food, no double entendre there).

call me a deviant (which i am), but i dig swallowing. it's the least i can do if they are going to spend time going down on me.

this new guy i am sleeping with is really good at oral, so of course i am going to reciprocate.

my advice is to just try it once. if you hate it, then don't do it again. you never know....and as far as swallowing, just open your throat up, it goes down easy. trust me.

Faith said...

See, I can't even take a shot in one I'm kind of freaked out about whether I even have the ability to open my throat as is necessary.

And I'm not really afraid of the way it tastes. I've tried it before, and I know each guy is different, sort of, but they've been surprisingly similar when I've compared them.

I think it's the thought of whether I'll make a fool of myself and not be able to do the open the throat thing, thereby making a mess all over rather than being Cool-ass Good At Beejers Girl.

But I appreciate the advice from both of you. I think you're right, Lyn. How can I know unless I try it at least once, right?

I just have no idea why I'm so freaked about it. I need a drink...:)

Anonymous said...

I've never posted any comments(ever), but for this I feel obligated... I was in your near exact position several months ago. The truth... it's a little gross, but it's a lot easier if you take as it comes(ha!) rather than waiting until it piles up.
As for making him happy - most guys are happy just knowing that someone wants to do the deed with them. (Stroking their ego always helps too... it's not overacting, it's just telling them what you like (so they can understand))

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know how many calories that stuff has? Or vitamins? Is there any real nutritional value to swallowing?

FaithsTwin said...

I have no problem giving the blowjobs. I do it VERY well, and am talented at the deep throating bit, but I don't have any reason to swallow. I suppose if I HAD to I would, but it has never been presented to me as a need - now, I have had considerably fewer partners than my twin, so I've been lucky in finding men who don't give a rats ass if I don't swallow. If they did, they wouldn't keep asking me for my blowjobs, as far as I'm concerned. *shrug*

I have had only one man go down on me ever: my ex-husband. No one else ever offered. No one else ever tried. Unlucky there I guess. So I haven't ever needed to reciprocate as far as that goes. I can understand the need to, however, for you lucky LUCKY broads who get that sort of attention!

Go for it Twin. Just have water or something near by in order to help wash it down if need be. Sean has a problem if I even come NEAR his mouth after I've been on his dick with my mouth without my drinking something. He's a homophobe, and I guess that means he would be tasting himself if he kissed me after I did that to him. lol!

Anonymous said...

It does whiten your teeth!

Faith said...

I feel so lucky to have never been with a guy who's like that. Steve (3 boyfriends ago, I think he was...) was a bit of a problem, but it was because he had no confidence in his abilities to do anything other than screw me. It was *VERY* frustrating, and that's why I want to clear up this problem o' mine ASAP in this case. I do NOT want to frustrate's not nice.

You guys have been uber-helpful, and I appreciate all the comments you've left! I even brought out a lurker, which is always fun for me. :) I know it might seem like an obscene topic to some, so I'm grateful that you guys were willing to hear me out on this issue. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I think you actually brought out 2 lurkers.
*cue Twilight Zone music*

Adam said...

First time reader who surfed in via Tony's Kansas City. Great post.

Here's the advice from a gay man (me): Since you enjoy giving head, work yourself up for it next time so when you're in the act you're REALLY in the act, but treat the juice like it's the goal .. even if you don't like it, do every thing you can to get him worked up and ready to shoot, and keep yourself worked up as far as you can after the big event to get through it.

The first time might be difficult because taste, smell, amount and all kinds of things may be a surprise to you, but once you know what to expect, the next time will be much much easier, so long as you set your excitment goal just past his in this regard.

I used to have the same hang-up, and this is how I got through it.. hope it makes sense.

Julie said...

I cannot possibly offer an advice better than Adam's. All I can say is, I like it... I think of it as an achievement. Wow, I made that happen! With my mouth! Cool!

Faith said...

You guys are the coolest. Just...thank you. You've made me feel tons better about this already!

And I think what Adam said *totally* makes sense. Kind of like the first time I went to have my underarms waxed. You don't know what to expect, so it can be scary, but it can also be exciting. And then after that first time, you're always more prepared every time after that. :D

Anonymous said...

hey, if you need someone to practice on, i'm available. but only if it's "practice." (;

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