Saturday, February 26, 2005

On second thought, I don't want to be on t.v.!

So, I didn't go to the open "casting call" for The Apprentice this morning. I prepared all my shit yesterday, and even woke up at 6:30 this morning and showered. But then, while I was in the shower, I started thinking about my lack of marketing skills. And about how I've always been grateful to not have to be in the shoes that belong to an executive-type person. And then I thought, "Holy hell, even if I did make it on the show, I don't want to be on fucking television!"

So I got out of the shower, put on some lotion, put on my pajamas, and crawled back into bed to do what I do best: read. And then I slept a bit more. And then I got up, went and fed the animals at Old Best Friend's house (one of them needs medicine for a UTI. Thank GOD it's the nice kitty, because I was going to have to kill Old Best Friend for leaving me with that responsibility if it was the nasty kitty...), and am now in the office getting ready to head out to Target to buy socks and lightbulbs. (I just did my taxes online...I'm getting a nice return from both the state and the feds. Yay!)

While I know I'm definitely up to the challenge of being an apprentice to someone as powerful and rich as Donald Trump, I'm also sure of my discomfort in front of cameras, and my inability to hold it together for longer than 3 seconds without bursting into laughter with embarassment. So I'll stick to the dreams that belong to me, rather than trying to fulfill some sort of dream my father has for me, and I'll continue to be the bitter, happy, fun-ass chick that I've always been.

You know what was nice, though? Everyone that I told about my plans to head out to the interview thingy this morning were all really supportive. My old boss did say something along the lines of how I'd never make it past the first boardroom...but he'd love to see it, when it happened. My coworker thought I'd do really well in an environment like they have on the show. My friends were all, "Remember us when you're famous!" Which was silly, because I don't think that a show like The Apprentice, especially after the first season, can make someone "famous" per se. We can't all be Omorosa. (Thank goodness!)

Anyway, I'm off to shop and then find some lunch, because I'm suddenly STARVING! Have a great weekend!


FaithsTwin said...

I got invited to try out for Wheel of Fotune! I have to go to the Morongo Casino, but I'm gonna go do it! Thursday. Cross your fingers I get picked to try and they think I'm enthusiastic enough over winning a t-shirt or a mug that they decide I'd be a great person to have on the show. Oh, and hope my telling them I'm a twin doesn't mean they would say "We'll only let you do the show if your twin plays too.' 'Cause then you'd HAVE to come. =P

Faith said...

Me: "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!"
Pat: "Um, ok, go ahead and try it."
Me: "Twat!"
Pat: "Ok, again, we had to bleep that out, and that's the wrong answer. Again. Would you please stop guessing that for every puzzle? The only letter that's lit up is a Q, and it's obviously got more letters in the phrase than the word you keep guessing. So stop it. Stop it now."
Me: "No problem, Pat!"

Next time around...
Pat: "And you've landed on $400, Faith..."
Me: "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!"
Pat: "No. No, you can't. You need to ask for a letter first, and *THEN* you can try to solve it. But please..."
Me: "Ok, fine. Is there a T?"
Pat: [looking pissed as two squares light up] " appears there are 2 T's."
Me: "Ok! NOW I'd like to solve the puzzle! It's Twat!"
Pat: "Can we go to commercial, or something? Who let this bitch on the show?"

FaithsTwin said...

Ok, I was gonna add that you are my mute Twin. Would that help? Come ON; you KNOW you'd love to be there with me all jumpin' up and can spin the wheel and I'll do the letters and solve. Team work!


You suck. But that's ok. If you don't want 1/3 of what we win, that's your dealio. Do you realize that could potentially be, like, $15,000? And that's if I only win $50,000. I plan on taking them for at least $100,000!

Faith said...

Me? A *MUTE*!??

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha [deep breath] hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Ok, now I'm tired. Thanks a ton. :P

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