Saturday, February 05, 2005

Pissy, pissy, missy...

I'm irritated. I'm home on a Saturday night that should be being spent with my friends buying me shots in celebration of my upcoming birthday. Have I outgrown this custom? Or do I have shitty friends? I don't know...

I went to visit my friend today. The Old Best Friend that had her baby about 3 months ago. She's doing so well, and after leaving her house, and having the evening I've had since, I wish I'd been invited to eat dinner with her and her family, had several more "fruity drinks", as we were calling them, and had had the opportunity to curl up on their couch and fall asleep several hours later. I love her life. I wish her life was mine. Her house smelled of yummy dinner cooking, and was cozy as all get out, and even though the baby needed to be walked around a bit to calm her sudden burst of boredom just before I left, it was just heaven on earth.

But I could do it all without the stepchildren and the new baby, of course. Because bleh. Kids. Double bleh...

I'm just not happy tonight. And I feel like I'm at a crossroads, but I have no idea where the hell the crossroads is at, and I don't know what will happen in either direction that I choose to go. I have several prospects for dates coming up. I'm looking forward to that, but for now, things are at a stand-still. I'm pretty sure that Trey has the wrong idea, and that he thinks that all I'm looking for is sex. I could be wrong about that. But he wrote me a note last night at midnight that said, "It's 12:00. Are you still up?" No, I wasn't still up, I told him in my note back today at about 2 p.m. I was planning on being at the Moose tonight for a while, but the usual bartender friend I hang out with after she gets off work was actually cocktailing tonight, and wouldn't be off anytime soon, Dave left at about 6:20, leaving me to eat and drink alone, because our other friends decided to go to another fucking bar that I hate more and more each day. We're supposed to watch the Super Bowl there tomorrow, and I'll go and suck it up, and deal. But Dave doesn't want to go there, so that'll be icky. He's planning on going to the Moose. I told him that we'll all be elsewhere. He doesn't seem to care. I'll try one more time tomorrow to convince him to come where we are, but if it doesn't work, it's not my damned fault. I want to go to the Moose. Can I convince my other friends to consider such an idea? Probably not. I've been trying all week to no avail. But it's MY damned birthday!! Well, my birthday weekend, anyway. I want to sit someplace comfy, and eat good food, and have fun with ALL of my friends, and not just a couple of them, you know?

So I'm pissy. I'm almost to the point of wanting to stay home tomorrow, and just saying fuck-all to everyone else. But I'll get over it. Because I want to blow out the candle in the brownie that I make for myself, dammit. It's my birthday. I deserve to celebrate.

And suddenly, all I want is a new group of friends.

Bleh.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sweetie!!! I hope it all works out and you have a FAB time!! Can you email me your phone number again, don't ask :-)
~Cheri

FaithsTwin said...

Dude, give me a call on my new cell- hope you got that message I left for ya. :) It's awesome. I love my new cell phone.

Sorry yesterday was a bad time- hope today goes better for ya!

Do you like bread?

Faith said...

I've got french loaf! *boff!*

Bye!

...love youuuu!

(Um, Eddie Izzard ROCKS!!!)

lyn said...

dude, i hate it when my friends want to go to different places....and it's worse because it was your bday weekend. sigh.