Thursday, February 10, 2005

A plea to my face

Dear Lovely Face O' Mine,

Over the past couple of days, you have been insisting on breaking out into some pretty funky little reactions. Of course, I'd be fine with a reaction or two ocurring maybe in a less-obvious spot, like say just below your right ear, or perhaps even at a spot where your chin and neck come together. But no. You have been insisting on breaking out into weird little nervous reactions in the space between your upper lip and nose. That's a fairly visible and obvious part of you, in case you weren't aware.

Can you stop it? Please? This morning, for example, there was a hurting little red thing smack in the middle of the space previously mentioned, right above your upper lip. That went away, but now I'm dealing with a red, welty, itchy bump-thing that is raising up right above the left corner of your mouth. And the water delivery guy was just here, and he was nice and didn't say anything, but how embarassing! What am I gonna do with you?

I could understand the reactions had I waxed that area recently. But I haven't! In fact, I need to really badly, but have been holding off because...well, because you do shit like this to me after I do it, so I didn't wanna. But now that you're preemptively breaking out in irritations of various forms after I just so much as think of waxing your upper lip, I don't know what to do with you. What is causing you to do this, huh? Cuz if you tell me, I'll stop doing it. Honest.

So please, hear me, and understand that it's hard enough for me to capture a man and try to get laid with the way my body and brain work against me much of the time. Give me a break! You're really all I've got left! So hang in there, mellow the fuck out, and just stop it.

Sincerely,
Faith

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