I think there was some pot in the cookie I just ate.
My coworker is a very cool chick whom I get along exceedingly well with. Well, most of the time. Because, as we all know, I can be quite a bitch every now and then (read: every waking hour of every single day of the year, except between 5:45 p.m. and 6:03 p.m. on the 3rd day of the 6th month), and she has to put up with it, as we spend more time with each other than we do with any other person we know.
Anyway, she's a very cool, black chick. And we like to refer to her "people" as the "Emerging Market People", because in the industry we're in, black people, hispanic people, and asian people are all considered to be an "Emerging Market" for us to sell to. So, for example, when she left her staple remover in my office just now, and I held it up for her, and told her it wasn't mine...and I knew it wasn't mine because (a) I hadn't taken mine out of my drawer all day, and (b) it just felt different from the way mine felt, she came and took it, and said, "Oh, you don't want it because it's the Emerging Market color, huh?" So we continued on this path of amusing ourselves, and I replied, "No...my staple remover is white. Because I'm white, and I don't use black staple removers." She replied, "So the cookie you just ate, with the chocolate chips in it? How do you get around that?" And I said, "Well, most of the cookie is white around the chocolate chips, so it's ok. You'll notice the popcorn I ate earlier? Yeah, it's white." Then I said I had to go to the bathroom, "to throw up the cookie I just ate, because I couldn't stand the blackness being in my belly."
This sort of conversation makes us laugh, believe it or not. She knows I haven't a racist bone in my body, and she doesn't either. So it makes it easy to play.
While I was in the bathroom, I started thinking of all the things that are white. Paper is white, I thought. Then I started wondering what it'd be like if paper was all black, and we wrote in white pen. How weird would that be? And I asked my coworker this when I returned from the bathroom, and she said, "It wouldn't be strange at all, because we'd be used to it if it had always been that way!"
That's when I started thinking that maybe there was some crack being piped in through the air coming into our office today. Because we are slap-fucking-happy this afternoon, lemme tell ya.