Friday, April 01, 2005

No fooling.

The Pope is dying. I am extremely sad about this. It's hitting me like a ton of bricks, and that bothers me a great deal.

I think it's one of my little "quirks" - I get very overcome when people I admire pass on. Ella Fitzgerald...Katharine Hepburn...Audrey Hepburn...Gregory the Pope. These people have come to represent certain things to me in my life. Ella is the most beautiful and admirable voice I have ever heard. Audrey is my favorite actress of all time, bar none. She's beautiful, she's graceful, she's perfect in every way. And she was a charitable person that gave so much of herself throughout her life, almost up to the day she died. Katharine was also a great actress, but I admire her more for who she was in life. Her strength, her character, her personality...she was who I wish I could be forever more. And Gregory Peck. Goodness...he was the man of my dreams. He's probably the model man that I am looking for in my life. When he died, my heart broke a little.

It may seem odd to think of people that one has never known in a personal way as being so influential over one's life. But I don't think I'm odd or strange for feeling the way I do about these people. It's not a "star struck" situation. I simply admired them a great deal for the people that they were.

This is the only Pope I've ever known. He was elected into the papacy in 1978, when I was 4. I've grown up Catholic, and feel very strongly about my faith in a very specific way. This is not a "general" religion for me. I am Christian, yes. But I'm a Catholic Christian, and I love that I was born to be just that.

I don't evangelize, though. I'm not a believer in the "one true faith" thing, and I appreciate the differences that everyone has - from Buddhism to Islam to Christianity to Agnostic. To each their own, I say. I'm happy with what I was born into.

The Pope is our Holy Father on this earth. He inspires peace and unconditional love, and whether you're Catholic or not, that's a lovely thing to feel from another person in this world. He doesn't know each and every one of us personally, but he loves us all equally, and he prays for us out of that love, and in my belief, he lifts our souls through that prayer. I know that the Catholic religion has carried with it some horrible stigmas throughout it's existence, including some popes of questionable nature who were not filled with love for all people, and who did not work for peace the way that Pope John Paul II has done. I feel so genuinely lucky to have been exposed to this Pope's reign! He is a very special messenger of our Lord.

I don't want to seem all sappy and icky over this, but it's impossible. I've been feeling this coming for a while, and the fact that it's finally time is hard to face. What will happen now? I get to see the next pontification process, so that'll be interesting. And I do know that the Pope looks forward to his death, as most people should. (It's not something to fear, IMO.) He doesn't think that people should be sad for him, as it's his resurrection to be with Christ, our Lord. But the hard part is he won't be here any more. On earth. That's the sucky thing.

*sigh!* Time to get to work. Sorry to be so serious on a Friday...


FaithsTwin said...

yup. Sad sad time. =(

Holly said...

Perfectly worded-you said everything I've been thinking for the past 3 days.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Faith. Very well written.