Friday, May 20, 2005

Death, death, death, death...lunch. Death, death...quick shower...

Yes, Pul Pot may have killed 1.7 million Cambodians, but this weekend, I will kill over 3 million cigarettes and 30 tons of beer single handedly. Now that is talent, my friends...

Just a quick post to finish off my lunch "hour", and then back to work it is. The Twin is right...I spoke to my boss this morning, explained that I had a melt down on Wednesday (he wasn't in the office, so he didn't see it happening), and have been mulling it over for the past 2 days. I told him openly that I'm unhappy, I feel like I'm having an identity crisis, and that I'm not sure that money can necessarily fix this unhappiness. (Although it's not like I'm giving up on the fact that I'd like to be bonused, or that I'm saying suddenly that I don't mind that my raise sucked donkey ass this year...) He and I talked it all over, and I made sure that he knows that even though I'm going through this random spot, unsure of what's going to happen next, it will NOT effect the quality of the work I do. My work ethic is stronger than anything else in my life. When I was laid off of the last job I was at, I asked if I could finish the work I was in the middle of, and then leave my key in the office when I left on Sunday (I was released on a Friday afternoon, and it was going to take me through the better part of Sunday to finish my project...), and my bosses at the time really appreciated that request on my part. Mind you, my bro-in-law was the COO and President of the company I worked for, and I'd never want to let him down, even if he did have to fire me, and couldn't warn me about it. But it was the fact that I was in the middle of something. Something they needed, and no one else could complete it...that was what made me want to stick around and help. I'm a sick fuck like that, though.

New Boss appreciated the plight I'm in, and he told me to just be sure to keep communicating with him, and he also said that he's going to continue to work on the bonus thing. He, of course, cannot fix the fact that much of my dissatisfaction with my job is currently based on the inability of major departments in the company to function well or efficiently. No one can fix it, it seems. Although, I do have some ripe suggestions about how they might start to improve their departments...for example, hiring literate individuals. That would be a BIG help, I'd bet.

For now, I have a mortgage to pay, and new windows to pay for, and bottles of vodka that are being charged to a credit card that I have to pay off eventually. The job is a necessary evil, of course. I need to find little happy things in it here and there, and count on the fact that I will be finding the things that make me happiest in my life (my mini-rose bush blooming, for instance...or the fact that it's FRIDAY, dammit!) outside of the office for a while. I think the new windows will make me excessively happy (I know, I know...don't make too much fun of me for being a dork), and then I get to see John Edward on Sunday, which will be nice. A friend is having a graduation party on Sunday that I'm going to, so that's something to look forward to after John Edward is over...

I'm good for at least 3 days, I think. I'll report back regularly, though...

3 comments:

FaithsTwin said...

Even though you just posted you will be seeing John Edward on Sunday I will more than likely lose my mind due to the massive heat wave we have here and start calling you every 5 minutes wondering where the hell you are and why you aren't answering my calls. But I'll make sure and not call the police or any hospitals until at LEAST next Tuesday. I pinky swear.

Ms. Pants said...

You killed 100 thousand people?! You must get up very early in the morning! I can’t even get down the gym!

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