Sunday, September 25, 2005

Busted it OUT!

I did loads of yardwork yesterday and worked out all my aggressions. Unfortunately, I also worked out my hamstrings, and they're screaming bloody murder at me today for it. No matter...I never did get around to mowing yesterday (the soil was a bit wet), and today it isn't raining, and things are a bit more dried out than they were yesterday, so I'm gonna head out there in a couple of minutes to get it all done finally. My neighbors all mowed, so I hate looking like the white trash shithead that doesn't care about how her house looks, or anything.

I spoke to the boyfriend about the sleeping on the couch thing. He just said he wanted to do it, and he didn't understand why it bothered me at all. I told him that when he's here, I like for him to sleep next to me in bed, is all. If he doesn't want to sleep with me, then he has an apartment he can go to in Westport. He said, "I'd been sleeping in the bed all week...I wanted a change." I told him I've been sleeping in the bed almost every night for a year and a half...never makes ME want to sleep on the couch every now and then, so I don't get that logic. He said, "It isn't a big deal..." And I replied that, to me, it is a big deal. It's not like I'm holding a gun to his head telling him he needs to sleep here every night, or hang out here all day on his days off. He's choosing to be here. And I'm actually fine with him sleeping on the couch, when I think about it. But it was the way he did it...the whole "I don't know" thing he was saying when I asked him if he was coming to bed. I didn't know if I'd done something to piss him off subconsciously, or what. So I'm glad we cleared it up, really. As I started to head back out to the yard when we were discussing it, I told him that I do have a very comfy couch, so I can understand the draw to it. And he replied, "I actually slept better last night than I do in bed..." I just looked at him, and said, "Great. That makes me feel tons better about all this..." I could hear him apologizing as I closed the door behind me. Sometimes, guys can be such dopes.

He slept in bed last night, dammit. And gave me some good lovin' to boot. Considering he had to be up very early today in order to work a double shift, I appreciated that and felt it was his way of saying he was sorry for the whole thing. I asked him this morning before he left if he needed any of the clothes that were on the bureau, and he was confused, and I just asked him if he was planning on coming back here tonight, and he said, "Of course!"

I'm getting more and more comfy with him being around much of the time, but I still am trying to figure out how we should give each other space we need while we're spending so much time in the same place. It helps that on my days off, he's working, and vice versa. I think that's what definitely keeps things going in their own mellow little way. I hung some of his clothes up in my closet yesterday...they were always draped over a chair in the living room, and I felt bad that they were all wrinkled because of it. But I was a bit freaked out about whether he would feel weird about that. It's only been a couple of months, you know? I'm sort of amazed at what this relationship has done to skew my perception of how swimmingly things can go when you seem to belong together.

Anyway, I need to get out and mow. Hopefully, everyone is having a relaxing, mow-free weekend thus far. Oh, and USC kicks ass...that is all.

1 comment:

cleverabuse said...

i understand both sides. if i have been single for awhile, i get used to sleeping alone and i tend to get very hot while someone else is in the bed.BUT i also understand your feelings, if hes not going to sleep in the bed, why be there all night? oh well just wanted to tell you i enjoy your posts and always look forward to them