Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Date night, and other stuff...

Had a date night with the boyfriend last night. He marinated some swordfish that I'd bought on Sunday, and we were considering grilling that, but he'd been cooped up in my house for the past 2 days (his days off), and seemed itchy to get out, so we went for Thai food instead. (I'm gonna eat the swordfish tonight...yum!)

The poor sweetie has a major tooth problem that he hasn't yet had a chance to get taken care of (read: he doesn't want to get taken care of, because he has issues with the dentist), and just as we were settling in to go to sleep, he started getting squirmy. Turned out his tooth was really hurting him, and he got up to take some Advil. We had discussed the issue earlier, because I finally brought it up and asked him if he'd had a chance to go to the dentist yet, and he said no, and the conversation turned to his issue with needles, and his memories of the dentist growing up, and he got really bothered just discussing the surface stuff of it all, which is why I don't ask him about his tooth very often. But lately, he's been taking more Advil than normal while he's been at my house, and I started putting 2 and 2 together. It's getting to emergency point, from what I can see. After he took some Advil, he came in and laid back down, and I just sort of cuddled up to his side, and he took my hand, and put my finger in his mouth, and let me feel his tooth. It's bad, guys. He needs to get it fixed. But I've done all I can...I've offered to go with him to the dentist, even. But he just waives it all off, and I leave it alone, because I'm not his mother, and the last thing I'm gonna do is nag him about something he needs to take care of himself.

But it's to the point where something needs to be done, and his fear, or whatever, needs to be pushed aside somehow. But how we do that is the problem. I'm just so worried about him. All I can do is hold his head when he curls up next to me, waiting for the Advil to kick in. He went out to the couch last night, because he was so antsy waiting for it to do it's thing (that's when I called you, Twin), and I went out to see if he wanted me to go to the drugstore to try to find something that might help numb the pain (the Twin suggested Ambesol, or whatever that stuff is, and I thought that might be a good idea...), and he was lying on my couch just telling me that he didn't want to keep me up, and that I shouldn't worry. But then he changed positions, and put his head down on my lap, and I just held him for a little bit again. After a minute or two, he told me again that I should just go to sleep, and he'd be fine. I think he was probably out on my couch for another half hour or so before he came back to bed. He said this morning that he did get some sleep, so the Advil must've finally kicked in. (I told him that the Twin had had tooth issues in the past that were similar to his, as near as I can figure, and she had said that only massive doses of Advil would help her pain in the slightest...and since he was only taking 2 at a time, and I know that's not gonna do anything for the kind of pain he's in, he upped his doses last night. He took 6 over the course of an hour, I'd say. My normal dose is 4 for any kind of pain I have, so 6 doesn't phase me...but for someone who's used to only taking 2 at a time, 6 might seem a bit excessive, I s'pose.)

Anyway, it was such a sad night for me, overall, because I hate seeing him in pain like that! The date was lovely, though. I just love him so much...so any suggestions on what you'd do if you were me in this scenario would be very welcomed.

10 comments:

lyn said...

could it be that he can't afford to go to the dentist and he just doesn't want to tell you?

Faith said...

No no...he has full medical and dental through his work. The procedure requires that he get a shot of novocaine the size of my left tit, is the problem. He FREAKS over needles...as in he feels them go in, he jerks away from them, and is left with a needle sticking out of wherever it was put in by the technician/nurse, and no injection happening. This means that he usually has to be stuck 2 or 3 times before the injection of stuff occurs, and then he's bruised and battered for a few days after.

He doesn't have the greatest teeth, and grew up having to go to the dentist all. the. time. And not just for a cleaning every 6 months, you know? For things like cavities, root canals, and other assorted issues with gapping, etc. From what he's described to me, the nurses deserve some sort of bonus for having to deal with him in the chair...throwing up has occured, pushing of hands that hold the scrapey-tool thingy they use during cleanings has occured, and general mayhem and cussing when he was being put under to have his wisdom teeth removed has occured. He's the exact opposite type of dental patient than I am...I'm easy. But I haven't had tooth issues like he's had. Which is why I offered to go with him when he goes to have the procedure done. He's only making things worse by putting it off the way he is. And he's been putting it off for about a year, he told me last night. Absolutely frightening to me...

lyn said...

damn blogger ate my comment.

it's good that it's not a financial thing.

would he be freaked if you made the appt for him? if you did that and went with him it may make him feel less anxious.

Tony said...

“Marinated some swordfish” Is that what they’re calling it nowadays? That has to be the weirdest euphemism I’ve ever read.

Faith said...

I just saw him when I went to eat lunch (which was, to be clear, not a euphamism...I actually ate a sammich at the Moose), and asked him if he needed anything, and he said he was fine. He told me that his dentist is out of the office until the 30th (WTF?), and his plan for now is to go to an urgent care thing after work today to get some antibiotics, and hopefully some pain killers, as it's obviously an infection that's going on in there right now. He needs to clear that up before the dentist can work on it anyway, I think.

Anyway, the good news: he's moving forward on it. I don't know what happens from here, or if he's going to do what he's done in the past, which is cancel his appointment the day before, but I think I've figured out how to handle it at this point, thank goodness. I hate being so worried about something that it effects my appetite. That sucks!

FaithsTwin said...

I would like to clear up why I am the one the Twin called for help: I have a mouth full o' diabetic teeth. To top it off, I inherited my Mom's teeth- no matter how well we take care of them, they still rot to the point of me having 8 cavities and two root canals at this time.

In addition, about 6 months after my last root canal I had the worst cold I have ever had EVER. My sinuses filled up, put massive pressure on the canal that they dug out, which was cramming the nerve in another tooth next to it and I seriously was ready to trade places with someone giving birth with no drugs the pain was so bad. I finally was prescribed cough meds with codeine and was taking that at night and 6 advil every 4 or so hours during the day before the antibiotics kicked in and killed the pressure.

We also are threatening boyfriend with my presence to support the Twin. He has no idea what our family will do to him. mmmwwaahahahahahahaaaa

Christy said...

I hope the teeth are under control.


Looking back up to the top...you went to get some thai? Where? My fave local place BURNED DOWN and so I've been trying to find a substitute.

Faith said...

Christy, there are all kinds of Thai places around the city. I'm not sure where you're at (and I'm sorry your fave place burned down...that sucks!), but there's a yummy Thai place up north just off of I-29 on the way to the airport...I can't remember what it's called is the problem. But when I'm headed north, it's on the west side of the highway, and I have to pass it in order to get to the exit that will take me back to it, if that makes any sense. I think it's called Tasty Thai, or something.

Down in central KC and JoCo, I like the Thai Place chain. The boyfriend and I went to the one in Westport the other night (it's on Pennsylvania, just south of Californo's), but there's also one on 87th St, and 119th St. Check them out at www.kcthaiplace.com for more info. I think it's VERY Americanized, so I prefer the place up north, or another place on Metcalf at 95th (in the mall with the Sears and the Jones Store) that I can't remember the name of, but it stands out as you drive down Metcalf, believe me.

Hope that helps!

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