Thursday, September 29, 2005

Hope you enjoyed the gravy boat...

Every once in a while, I like to sit and fantasize about how I can get back at all the "friends" that I used to have here in KC that invited me to their weddings (including the showers, both wedding and baby in some cases), received gifts from me (usually money, contrary to what the title of this post might lead you to believe...I'd want money, so it's what I give to people when they get married), and then systematically shut me out of all of their lives after the last one got married a year ago.

Here's my plan: When I get married, I plan on "inviting" them to join in the festivities. I will send them all invitations to a black tie affair I plan to have, for which most of them will have to rent tuxes and buy new dresses, and then they will show up for a party that doesn't exist, as I will have given them a phony location in their invite for my wedding. I know that this would mean that I wouldn't receive any presents from them, but it'd be worth it. Especially as I will hire a photographer specifically to go to the fake location in order to photograph their confusion and pissiness at being invited to a non-existent party. Because they're all assholes.

Of course, this is just a random and weird fantasy that I have, and I would never do such a thing, even to people who I thought were my friends, and who have pretty much dropped me like a rock after I gave them all that they needed from our "friendship" it seems.

You know, I understand that things change, and people move on, but how tough is it to include me in an invite to the annual SuperBowl party (last year was the first time I didn't get invited in over 7 years...)? I wouldn't go, but still, invite me at least! Or to a birthday party every now and then? Or to a 4th of July celebration? I certainly hope that since they've run into me at the Moose a couple of times in the last 8 months or so that they will realize they need to stop going there if they plan on avoiding me for the rest of their lives.

I don't know why this is on my mind right now. It just is. I guess that group of friends that I'm bitter about had their time in my life, and it's all passed along on it's merry way nowadays. I have new friends now, and the old ones that matter are still very much in my life, as they should be. But still, I went to 6 weddings for that group of people over the past 7 years (4 weddings in the last 2 years alone...), and it just seems odd that it was soon after that last wedding (which I didn't even really feel I should have been invited to, really...) that I stopped hearing from everyone. Fuckers. Whatever...I hope their lives are going well, and that they still have as much fun together when they hang out as we always used to have. And I would never have a fake wedding location, really. Honest. Cross my heart.

(But it's a fun idea, no? I guess I can't say that I'm totally gonna rule it out...we'll have to see. I might not get married for a long, loooong time, in which case any one of them might find it super-odd to be invited at all, and probably wouldn't go anyway. But it would be fun...)


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Duncan said...

or, you could send them an invitation to somebody else's wedding. They probably wouldn't figure it out until they saw the bride (hee hee) AND if your registered somewhere, you can make off with all the booty before they find out. Yahtzee!

FaithsTwin said...

Ok, I know you have a spammer there, but maybe that one is worth it- architectural drafting! RIGHT up your alley!

sheit. who promotes 'arhcitectural drafting' by spam? Fucking retahded...

On the friends note: right on! Holy shit, I even wasted my time on a couple of those things. I'd be glad to volunteer to show up to take the pictures AND a video for FREE!

Hunny said...

I still say a better way to get back at these so called friends is to fill out
the magazine order forms in their name for magazines that you know they
normally would not receive! Then they have to go through the hassle of
canceling the magazine! And I like the idea of the party, I will help your twin
take pictures!

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