Thursday, September 15, 2005

I'm just a girl...

Let's see...

Period? Check. (Confirmed last night by my need to eat the entire fucking house, and the foundation underneath it...)

Missed the boyfriend last night, even though I'd just spent the last 4 days straight with him? Check.

Happy to have a night alone at the same time as missing the boyfriend? Check.

Bloated and feeling like kicking my own ass today for having broken down and eaten the entire house last night? Check.

Yep. I'm a girl. It's been official for a long time now (i.e. since birth...or at least since 5th grade when I started getting boobs, and then definitely by 6th grade, when I was already a full B-cup - and not wearing a bra, mind you...I was in a sort of denial that took a while to get over), but every now and then, it seems necessary to make a check list so I can remind myself that I'm not an asshat, but rather just a girl that has her period and therefor has a certain need to eat a dinner that consists of a large caesar salad, 6 oz. of swordfish with way too much steamed rice, some bites of leftover Thai food from the night before's dinner, and then a plate of nachos (w/ rice "cheese" topping) about an hour later. Oh, and when I first got home from work, I'd snacked on 4 bbq meatballs that I'd bought at the supermarket on Sunday in a moment of weakness, which just goes to show that my body and mind were conspiring against each other as much as 3 days before the period started.

Also, what the hell is this missing-the-boyfriend-and-glad-to-be-alone-at-the-same-time thing? Very fucked up, IMO.

Thank goodness it only lasts a few days every month. Men, you don't know how lucky you are. (Unless you're married or living with a woman. In which case, just know that we don't mean to get like this as often as we do. In fact, I'm sure that most, if not all of us, would prefer to not have it happen either, if that helps at all. Not that I give a shit about how you all feel, really. Do you have to bleed for 5 days or so, have to deal with expense of keeping said bleeding contained, deal with the weight ups and downs during the tough months where food is a constant companion during those 5 days, plus deal with internal mood swings that cause you to laugh AND cry at the same time (for completely different emotional reasons, mind you...not because you're laughing so hard, tears are coming out of your eyes)? No. I didn't think so. So fuck off.**)



**Men, I apologize for that last rant within the parenthesis in the paragraph above. Again, I'm a girl. On her period. It's just bound to happen like that every now and then. I wasn't there when Eve took a bite of the apple. Had I been there, I would have knocked that fucker right out of her hand, and asked her to think about what the consequences of taking the advice of a talking snake might be. Dumbass bitch...

4 comments:

Hunny said...

We all go through what you have stated. Just once I would love my husband to go through it so he could understand and not make fun of PMS. Which really stands for "Putting up with Men's Shit".
Have a Great One.

Duncan said...

Guys not only perplexed by how a womens views on life can change and contradict each other during your period, but they also just can't understand how something can bleed for 5 days every month and not die (and yes, I'm going to roast in Hell for that one).

Faith said...

Damn skippy, Hunny. I always love that men turn to the whole "if I don't understand it, then I best make fun of it" mentality when it comes to certain things. Fortunately, thus far, the new boyfriend hasn't been that type of guy. But we'll have to see if that remains as time goes on...

Duncan, if you're gonna be roasting in hell for that one, then I'm gonna be there for calling Eve a dumbass bitch. Really, that's the least of my worries, hell-wise. Should be a good time, at least. :D

FaithsTwin said...

Omg...soooo many things I can think of going to hell because of. However: we women sure do have to put up with this nonsense and I can't honestly think of something equally as ridiculous men have to go through. That being said, I believe our kharma is infinitely more in securing our place OUTSIDE of hell even if we do think things like, "I'm going to kill my bitch-mother-in-law with poison," or, "Damn that chick is fat! I may be a bit heavy, but at least I don't look like THAT!"

There are those of us, however, that are skipping heaven and make a deal with God that as long as he provides decent parking spaces here and there, we'll forego the thought of heaven and settle for purgatory.