Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Well, that's just dandy...

I was all set to post about my experience I've been having with my car and the dealership this week, but when I sat down and opened my e-mail at work this morning, the Twin had sent me a note to let me know that my uncle, my mom's little brother, is dying. Gaaahhhh. So sad to think about, really. He's never really been a huge part of our lives...I remember him being around a lot more when we were little than at any other time. In fact, the last few years (the last 15 years, really), when he's shown up, we usually groan a bit and wonder where he materialized from, and why he's there. We don't get it. Since mom passed 7 years ago, we haven't seen him much at all. But then again, I don't live at home any more, and it was dad that he used to call, randomly now and then, to see if he could stop by and hang out for a bit. I don't know when the last time was that he did that. I remember him stopping by after mom passed...he had a new girlfriend, and he just came by to watch a game and have some dinner, I think. I can't remember all that well, actually. He's just never been a big part of our family, is all.

Butch was different...he always smelled like beer. He had a deep voice, and an interesting laugh. Even though it's been years since I've seen him/heard him, I can remember it all very clearly right now. He never made me uncomfy, really, but he wasn't the most admirable character in my life, is the thing. He did drugs, he drank heavily, and he couldn't hold a relationship for anything. The longest relationship he was in was with Aunt Gayle. (And I'm not even sure they ever really got married, but it's what we called her/knew her as...) I remember visiting them and hanging out at their house in Whittier when I was younger. They had a dart board, and I threw a bullseye on it once. I liked Gayle...she was cool. They broke up many years ago, though, and he's been bouncing from woman to woman since then. But inevitably, when I've thought of Butch in the past, I have thought of him as being alone.

I've always been sort of the "loner" of my family as well. While I've never been pulled into that seemingly constant tailspin caused by making one poor decision after another, I can relate to the loner life that Butch must have led much of the time. His sisters lived far away from him, and his mom went from living with one sister to another after she became to old to live on her own. He didn't go to my grandmother's funeral last year. I'm not sure why.

They called my dad to let him know that my uncle was in the hospital, and he told the Twin about the condition he's in. The Twin said the following in her e-mail to me: "...Butch is in the hospital. He's dying. His kidneys have failed. He's on dialysis. The rest of his organs are shutting down...

Dad said Butch said he doesn't want anyone there, but he's dying and alone? How much does that suck? [Apparently, my aunts aren't going to go see him while he's still alive...Lord knows if they'll even go for a funeral...] When Dad asked him what caused this to happen [which is so like my dad!] Butch said, 'Vodka.'"

I'm fine with dying. I'm fine with dying young, even. I do NOT want to die old, alone, and friendless, with family members that don't even think I'm worth the time to fly in from wherever they live to pay their last respects and give me a proper goodbye. I asked the Twin to see if she can find an address that I can send a card to, so that Butch at least knows that his oldest sister's daughter thinks enough of him to pray for him and think of him during this painfully uncomfy time he's going through. He DOES have family...we all may not have been that close to him, but when they called my dad, he went to be with him and to find out what's up. Hopefully that says something to Butch about how we feel about him. I don't know. I can understand where my aunts are coming from, sort of. But hell, one of them lives in Galveston and needs to evacuate due to the impending hurricane, anyway! Why not go to California to pay her last respects to her brother? Kind of bugs me a bit.

Anyway, it's a shitty morning. I feel real bad for Butch. More than I ever thought I would, really.

Reports are a-callin'. Later...

8 comments:

Hunny said...

My prayers are with your uncle. I agree, no one should have to die alone.
Take the time to send the card, it will give you peace of mind.
HUNNY

FaithsTwin said...

My ex bonded with Uncle Butch more than anyone of us kids ever did. They had the same qualities (which at one time the ex saw in himself, but hasn't done anything to change them...)

He dropped in on Dad about 2 months ago. Brought the new girl with him. He had made positive changes, actually, and took the $5k Mema left him and did something that made Dad happy...can't remember what right now.

He also hated when I called him 'Butch'. I had to start calling him Bill- because the women were all, "What's with the 'Butch' biz?" lol.

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