Monday, October 10, 2005

Stand BACK...unless you wanna lose a nut.

I had an up and down weekend. Friday night was mellow...just very tired, watched a movie, went to bed, blah but lovely.

Saturday, football, plans with a friend got cancelled, watched another movie, etc...

Sunday, got my hair done, went to pick up an application for some possible part-time work at a fave clothing store on the Plaza, bought some clothes at said fave clothing store, went home and ate lunch, and then tackled my yardwork that needed doing. Called boyfriend and told him that fish sounded good for dinner, so he invited me up to the Moose for some fish special they'd been having (which really hit the spot, and I have left-overs for lunch today, so YAY!), and then we proceded to get into a fight about the fact that he cancelled his dental appointment again today. Did he just reschedule it, I asked? No. It was simply cancelled. So I express my concern over the fact that he doesn't take the condition of his teeth seriously, and I'm worried about him, and he shuts down. Just total shut down. Almost crying, even, but just no words, except that it's his business, because it's his mouth, and his phobia, and something for him to deal with. I realize it's a sore spot, and I knew going into the conversation that I was treading on very shaky ground, but I had to get it out there that I'm concerned about him, and that it worries me that he doesn't seem to take the condition seriously. He's allowing his fear to control his rationality in this case. But he got really upset, and instead of coming over to play Yatzee like we'd planned on doing, he went home, turned off his phone, and I went to bed crying my eyes out because he apparently would rather be in a relationship with a girl who only cares about herself, and could give a flying shit about him altogether. Before we left the restaurant, I told him that if he wanted to be in a relationship with a girl that only cared about herself, then he might as well get the fuck out now, because that ain't me. He didn't say anything in response, so I just walked to my car and drove away.

I left him a message later asking him to call me, and he did send a text at 1:30 that woke me up...he apologized for hurting me, and said he just needed some space, and said he loved me and asked me to call him today. I wrote him back and said that's fine, but that he's seemed to need a lot of space lately, and do we need to discuss this? Because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. He replied that I worry too much, told me to get some sleep, and that he'd see me today. I couldn't sleep, though, so I stayed up and read for a bit before I tried again.

So I'm exhausted today. And I'm pissed that my boyfriend can't hear that I'm concerned about him without shutting down. And I have PMS, and this is just SUCH bad timing in that regard.

I need sushi.

No comments: