Friday, October 07, 2005

This is it...the apocolypse is nigh.

How long before this totally tanks? I KNOW I'm not the only one that's annoyed by Rachael Ray. I just know it!!! I admit to watching her "30 Minute Meals" show on Food Network. I like to get ideas for quick meals I can throw together, but I keep thinking that she's doing too much and has too many different projects, and she's going to become an "Emeril" sooner or later.

Well, it happened sooner. Anybody remember when Emeril tried to have a fucking sitcom? Yeah, he's a CHEF, for chrissakes! Why did he try to have a sitcom? And who the FUCK footed the bill for taping the episodes that actually got made? Because I have some room in my bank account specifically set aside for those fucks that desire to throw a ton of cash down the toilet. I just haven't managed to figure out how to get a hold of said fucks before they actually spend the money on shit like labor, cameras, tape, lighting, etc, etc...

So here's Rachael Ray, thinking she should have a goddammed talk show. Um, hello, Tony...uh, I mean Rachael. Yeah, can you do America a favor and stop trying to find new and "fresh" ways to annoy the shit out of us? That'd be great, thanks. Just stick to coming up with new 30 minute meal ideas, and go ahead and make some more oddly shaped cookware to sell...that's just fine. But stop already with the interviewing of celebrities, and the creating your own talk show, and the travel to another town to eat more food for under $40 per day (hi, when I travel, I need to eat for less than $15 a day per person, jackass...not all of us in the world have people throwing money at us to do worthless and stupid projects like HAVING A FUCKING TALK SHOW WHEN WE HAVE THE MOST ANNOYING VOICE ON THE PLANET!!!), and the creation of a 30 minute meal dedicated to foods your dead dog loved to eat, because, come on. At some point, it just becomes too much. Dayum!

7 comments:

FaithsTwin said...

Umm, has she stopped making that "I'm-having-an-orgasm-eating-this-food" face yet? That funky friggin' smile, those big eyes...and the "Mmmmm". Jesus- has she ever tried a food on her $40-a-day thang that she HASN'T wet herself with? That shit ain't real yo!

"mmm. That steak is out of this world! Those green beans are divine! That toothpick is to die for!"

lyn said...

damn comment spam. anyways, she is so annoying. especially when she does her EVOO thing. We know it's extra virgion olive oil, you don't have to explain.

Oh and the $40 a day thing? I think it's geared for business travelers - $40 a day is standard for meal allowance for most businesses.

Maine said...

I'm secretly in love with her. Sure, she's a bit mouthy, but she's cooking, she's cute, and she's got great hips.

And.... I'm apparently everything that's wrong with modern men.

Faith said...

I do hate the comment spam. At least they aren't out of control yet...I deleted the 2 that were there.

Yeah...that would make sense about the $40 a day thing. She just always does it in conjunction with more of a sightseeing vibe, so I hadn't put it in that context. Still bugs me, though. Twin is right...her comments about random and rather average looking meals in the past have really gotten on my nerves. That's what pushed me over the edge when it came to that show. I was like, Lady, it's a fucking steak...GET OVER IT!!!

And Maine, yes, you have issues. But that's why we love you, man. Great hips...holy christ!

Ms. Pants said...

Okay so. Rachel Ray. I'd kinda like to take a nice, 12 pound dead carp and just swing it upside her smiley little face. She drives me fucking BONKERS.

I would rather watch Emeril BAM his way through butter-garlic-cheese-garlic-wine-heart-attack sauce all goddamn day than see Rachel Ray smile for no fucking reason at all. Though to be honest, I kinda like Emeril. His sitcom was horrible, but I think as a dude, he seems like a pretty fun guy to be around.

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