Friday, November 11, 2005

Damn.

It's a bit too windy out to rake any leaves. Dammit...and I was really looking forward to that, too! Shoot. *kicks at dirt* (And the REAL Faith says: Heh...I can't rake leaves! WOO!!)

The boyfriend and I got sufficiently schnockered last night with the help of some friends. (Thanks for coming out, friends! So good to see you!!) We went to grab some Chinese food after we were done with the beers, and while we waited for the food he sweetly offered to pay either for a bag for my mower so I don't have to rake the leaves by hand or for the yard guys that came and did it last year to come and do it again this year (but that was about $135, and I'm not sure how much it'd cost this year if I had it done...), and then asked how much my mortgage was, and offered to help with that, and then asked if he could help with any other bills, too. I kept telling him not to worry about it. He was a bit tipsy, so I know he wasn't thinking straight about it all, but I still thought it was awfully nice of him to want to help! If he lived here, we would obviously have some sort of plan worked out mortgage and bills-wise, but he doesn't. He just sleeps here most of the time, and does his laundry here. He still has his own place. And there could be some changes in his work location that might make it more reasonable for him to live in a city a bit west of here, so that's something we need to discuss as well. For now, all I want is for him to pay for movies and buy me $1 sushi every now and then on a Monday, and I'll be a happy girl. But chipping in on my mortgage? Uh-uh. Not to sound possessive or nasty, but this is my house. It's my mortgage with my name on it and the house title/deed belongs to moi seullment. There's that teeny-tiny pessimist that lives in the back of my brain that always makes me wonder just what would happen if he and I ever broke up, and if he chips in on my mortgage payments ever, that might certainly guck things up a bit. I don't ever see us breaking up, though, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I've been wrong before...it could certainly happen again. Helping with bills, well, that's different. He does share the use in much of the electricity, gas, and water around here. But again, for now, all I want is a dinner out now and then, and I'm pleased as punch in the arrangement. But I thought it was an awfully big step forward for him to offer the way he did. Must've been the trip home. That was a very telling 6 days for me, and I think it was for him as well. I'm not so worried about giving him a drawer to keep some of his shit in any more, and I think that in a little bit, I'm gonna head out and find him a hamper to keep his landry in, rather than to let him keep piling it up in the guestroom, like he does now. His socks are smelly after10 hours in the kitchen each day. I hate that they just lie out in the open the way they do. Giving him stuff like that would've scared me a short month ago, because it has an edge of permanence to it that I was afraid might frighten a boy that had only been dating a girl for about 4 and a half months. But it's not so daunting now, for some reason. It's just all so weird the way it changes week to week...

And that was one long-ass run-on paragraph, wasn't it? Oh well...

I have a headache...must get food and Diet Coke. Buh-bye for now...

4 comments:

FaithsTwin said...

The drawer is an easy coversion either way. The hamper- as long as you get one of the mesh ones that fold up easily or whatever? Those can be stored for times like, say, when your family comes to visit? ;) Maybe That's what I'll get him for Christmas. I mean, I'm on a lunch-lady salary now. I can't go crazy, but I can offord something small. OH! And another bride called today and I'm meeting with her next week- woohoo!

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