Sunday, November 13, 2005

Um, it's only 4:30 p.m.!

Dear Super-drunk Girl at 810Zone in Leawood, KS Saturday afternoon,

I love to throw back a couple as I watch the games on Saturday afternoon just as much as the next guy. But the key word there is "couple", darling. When you stumble into the bar I've been sitting in for two hours, squeeze your jean-outfitted ass (oh, and wear either the jean jacket, or the jeans...do NOT wear both at the same time, asshole) in between me and the guy who happened to sit down next to me just 20 minutes before you arrived, and proceed to kick my foot while I'm trying to watch my USC game on a relatively big-screened t.v. that is above your fluffy-haired head, I have every right to get a bit pissy. YOU do NOT have the right to get drunk-pouty, and say, "I juss wanna visssit mah bruvtha...hav'n seen him in a lonn time..." I understand you want to visit your brother. But you are invading my space. The space I've been inhabiting for over 2 hours, and somehow I haven't managed to get shit-faced while doing it. How's that, you might ask? It's called self-control, bitch. Try exercising a bit of it the next time you're out drinking on a Saturday afternoon.

I'm not sure why the bar decided to serve you, even though you were clearly about as fucked up as any person might be on their 21st birthday after taking their birthday shots, but I'm glad you didn't throw up on me all the same. I wish I'd had the balls to ask you what kind of car you were driving, so I could tell you I'd be avoiding your presence while out on the road, if I happened to run into someone with big hair driving that make and model. Fortunately for you, I didn't feel so venomous at the time, but rather just wanted to watch USC and Kansas in their respective games, as I hoped you would finish the beer you didn't need and get the hell out of the bar as soon as possible. As you left with your "bruvtha", I hoped that he would be giving you a ride to your next destination, even though he was a bit too tipsy as well...at least he drank water for the half hour he was sitting at the bar. And for the record, I understand that I was in a bar, and if I want to enjoy my personal space, I probably shouldn't expect to do so while in such a location, but the bar was not full. You didn't need to kick my foot. And your drunken apologies thereafter went on far too long, and annoyed me much more than the foot-kicking itself did. Yes I was irritated that I needed to shift my attention to a different, much smaller, t.v. that was further away from me in order to watch my USC game, and I let you know as much. But that was my prerogative, again, because I'd been there for longer, and I was in much more control of myself. So yeah...shut it with the drunken apologies.

Just wanted to let you know that I didn't appreciate you. And you might want to look into getting some help if you're gonna be that drunk at 4:30 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon. If it was a one-time thing, then cool...I can understand. You still should've been cabbing it, though. But if that's the norm, girl...just good luck, is all I can say.

Sincerely,
Faith

1 comment:

Malnurtured Snay said...

When I get that drunk, regardless of the time, I tend to hug everyone I can find.