Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Last night, I drank a few of the kind of beer that I should avoid, as it causes the bowels within to gurgle unhappily all day the next day, and I'm paying for it today, that's for sure. I wanna get it oooouuuuuut! But I will refrain**. I'm getting closer to the point where I can let stuff like that go at the office, but I'm not quite there yet. Maybe after the holiday. (Then again, it might be the kind of issue where I haven't any control over whether it comes out or not. Hm. It's definitely feeling a bit uncontrollable, now that I think about it. So now I can't even go and pee like I need to. Great.)

Got to work this morning, and realized that the stench that had started up in the fridge yesterday had gotten a bit worse today. So I began to search it out. There are a couple of to-go containers in there that seem to have been forgotten, so that could've been it. But then I saw it. There was a large tupperware container with it's lid partially off, and I was betting that the smell was coming from that. So I picked it up, and Lordy, I'm not sure what was in that thing to begin with, but it was super-unidentifyable. It looked to be the shape of lasagna, or something. But it was covered in green and white fuzz, so I couldn't figure it out. Not that I was looking all that hard. My first instinct was to throw the fucker away! But then it'd be hanging out in the trash can all day, smelling up the kitchen, and that's not cool. So I tried to close the lid, and I finally was able to (it was like the air inside of the container was too foul to allow the lid to close!), and I put it back in the fridge with the plan in mind to make sure to throw it away before I leave today. But then a couple of coworkers came in, and I mentioned The Thing, and they were scoffing about how the receptionist is supposed to clean out the fridge each week, and how unfortunate that we don't have a regular receptionist right now, and I tell them, NO, you don't understand! This is not regular funk in the fridge! So I pulled it out, and they both recoiled in horror, as one would expect, and suggested that I go ahead and throw it out. (Since I was able to get the lid to close on the thing, I felt better about doing that...sort of. But if that lid pops open again, I'm telling you, I'm glad my desk is as far from that room as it is...) So I put it in the trash, washed my hands, and headed back to my desk to eat my bagel. Because it takes a LOT to get me to lose my appetite. You know what? I don't think it's ever really happened, when I think about it. Interesting.

I don't have much of anything interesting to say, if you couldn't tell, and I can't think of a way to make the boring shit sound funny yet, so I'll let this be the end of the post for now. (Sorry to all of you that hate it when I talk about shitting. Unfortunately for you, it's the most interesting thing happening to me at this point in the day, now that the funk from the fridge has been dealt with. Don't you wish you were me?)

**Change of plans. I had to let it drop, and so I did. Just an FYI, it smelled like roses, it did.

1 comment:

Maine said...

What do you have to eat to rose smelling shit? Wouldn't that much sugar put you into a coma?