Monday, February 28, 2005

Exhaustion. That's all...

I'm exhausted. And very, very busy. And exhausted some more.

And that dumbass Jen chose Jerry tonight. Idiot.

I went to bed last night at about 11:30. I was woken up at about 11:55 by the sound of my fan in my room shutting off, and the house going completely silent. Yep. It was a power outage. I was so tired that all I cared to do was to call the muther-fucker in, and then head back to bed after setting my back-up alarm on my cell.

The power then snapped back on at about 1:30. Waking me up again. Grrrrr!

I had to get up earlier than usual this morning so I could run over and feed the animals. I keep meaning to stay over there, but I don't have the time/energy to pack all my shit and head over there for a few days. Tomorrow night, I'll definitely make the effort. Tonight, I did eat dinner there, cleaned cages and litter boxes, and spent time rolling about with the kitties. So I feel good about that. But I want to stay there one night, so they don't get too sad. Even though, in my heart, I know they're all just fine.

Today was a hard, HARD day at work. Got there at 8, and it was work, work, work straight through to lunch, which I forced myself to take (I read the funnies and caught a couple of blogs...the hour went by really fast, dammit), and then launched back into work until 6. I called a manager of a guy that wrote me an e-mail at about 4 asking for my help fixing something on his commission, and I couldn't bear it. I warned him, as well as the buddy he was also writing on behalf of, that the change they made about a week ago would effect their pay today, and it might take a month to get fixed past that. I called his manager, asked him to go in his office, close the door, and read the e-mail along with me, and then I started crying. I was soo tired! He felt awful, and it wasn't his fault, and I felt so bad for breaking down right at that very moment, but it was hard to figure out what to say back to the guy in my e-mail without sounding totally whiny OR totally bitchy, or a good combo of both. I finally worked it out after my third try, but man, it took me about a half hour!

Meantime, the office is melting down around me, with my co-workers that don't get along, and all the deadlines that we're being asked to meet by the corporate offices lately. It's enough to make a girl wanna run away, it is.

So, no funny blog today about the Oscars that I sort of watched last night (although I will slip in a comment that Sean Penn needs to fucking lighten up, and recognize when a joke is a goddammed joke), and no interesting quibbles about how I love me some KU, and I can't wait to watch them on Wednesday...I even rearanged my hair appointment so I won't miss the game. And it's also why I'm working late and getting in early lately, because now I get to leave work at 3:45 on Wednesday to go have it done. And I have nothing to offer about the lack o' men that are in my life right now. I'm just too damned tired.

So. There it is. Going to bed now...baaaahhhhhhhh...

p.s. I realize "quibbles" isn't really a word. Just deal with it, though. Have I mentioned I'm tired?

Saturday, February 26, 2005

On second thought, I don't want to be on t.v.!

So, I didn't go to the open "casting call" for The Apprentice this morning. I prepared all my shit yesterday, and even woke up at 6:30 this morning and showered. But then, while I was in the shower, I started thinking about my lack of marketing skills. And about how I've always been grateful to not have to be in the shoes that belong to an executive-type person. And then I thought, "Holy hell, even if I did make it on the show, I don't want to be on fucking television!"

So I got out of the shower, put on some lotion, put on my pajamas, and crawled back into bed to do what I do best: read. And then I slept a bit more. And then I got up, went and fed the animals at Old Best Friend's house (one of them needs medicine for a UTI. Thank GOD it's the nice kitty, because I was going to have to kill Old Best Friend for leaving me with that responsibility if it was the nasty kitty...), and am now in the office getting ready to head out to Target to buy socks and lightbulbs. (I just did my taxes online...I'm getting a nice return from both the state and the feds. Yay!)

While I know I'm definitely up to the challenge of being an apprentice to someone as powerful and rich as Donald Trump, I'm also sure of my discomfort in front of cameras, and my inability to hold it together for longer than 3 seconds without bursting into laughter with embarassment. So I'll stick to the dreams that belong to me, rather than trying to fulfill some sort of dream my father has for me, and I'll continue to be the bitter, happy, fun-ass chick that I've always been.

You know what was nice, though? Everyone that I told about my plans to head out to the interview thingy this morning were all really supportive. My old boss did say something along the lines of how I'd never make it past the first boardroom...but he'd love to see it, when it happened. My coworker thought I'd do really well in an environment like they have on the show. My friends were all, "Remember us when you're famous!" Which was silly, because I don't think that a show like The Apprentice, especially after the first season, can make someone "famous" per se. We can't all be Omorosa. (Thank goodness!)

Anyway, I'm off to shop and then find some lunch, because I'm suddenly STARVING! Have a great weekend!

Friday, February 25, 2005

I'm SOOOO going to hell!

So this guy wrote me through Yahoo Personals the other day. Calls himself an attractive Christian something or other, but I let that slide. He is very cute, and he's moving to Kansas City from Hew Hampshire soon, it seems, so I thought that maybe I could be someone to show him around town when he gets know, go have a couple of meals, get some drinks here or there. Just regular welcome-wagon type of bullshit. I'm pretty good at it, as I have been exposed to just about every part of town in this city, and feel comfortable getting around it all, and know where some cool hang-outs are, blah, blah...

So I write him a note that just says a basic, "So you're moving to KC? Are you originally from here, or is this a first-time-living-here thing?"

He writes back that he found Jesus here in 2000, and will be moving back to serve at the church where he originally found Him. He's looking to move in a new direction career-wise, and thinks this will be a good step. He's also hoping to find someone special that he can share this journey with! [That's his exclamation point, btw...not mine.]

Well, what else can I say to that? I'm a smart-ass, and I'm in a semi-pissy mood this morning (early stage of PMS. Dammit...), so I write him back the following: "You mean Jesus is here? IN Kansas City? Ok, does the media know about this? Because if he's been here since 2000, he's been hiding himself really well. I mean, this is HUGE news..."

Then I told him I was sorry, but I couldn't resist being a smart-ass, and explained how I was a faithful Christian in that I believe in Christ, and love our Lord, etc...but that I'm a non-practicing Catholic, and I love cussing, swilling beer, and am basically the type of person that he would be looking to "save", I would imagine. And I'm not down with that.

So I wished him luck, and told him I hope he finds a girl that has the same kind of faith that he has somewhere along the line, and told him that I hope he has a great time when he gets back here to KC, since it's such a wonderful city to live in.

I think I need to just let the internet dating thing go for a while. Let's see...there's the Christ-lover, and then there's the guy who has this strangely intense look on his face with a title to his profile that says, "Would you trust THIS guy?" that keeps writing to me (I finally wrote him back and tried to politely suggest that his photo scares the SHIT out of me, and while he seems like a really attractive guy, if he has one where he's smiling, it'd be lovely to see...I mean, he looks like a serial rapist, or something! GAH!), and then there's the "eccentric artist" that wrote me back an e-mail last night, in which it became painfully clear that he doesn't know how to type the English language at all, and his ability to spell the word "eccentric" might be a fluke...I'm just losing it. I'm not in the mood any more at all to try to find someone to date. So I'm just going to back off of it for a while.

On another note, The Apprentice is having an open "casting call" tomorrow here in KC. I know it seems insane, but I'm considering going. I've never seen someone who had a lengthy career as an admin assistant on that show, and while I'm not sure that I'd actually really want to run one of Trump's companies, or whatever, maybe it's just because I haven't ever considered that a position like that would be attainable for a girl like me.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it really should be attainable. I'm educated, I've been through several different levels of the "executive world" at varying times in my life, and all of the executives that I've met at my company have told me that it's those of us in my position that "turn the wheels of this company every day". Goddammed straight, boys. If we were to all walk out for a week, they'd get a true taste of just how painful life can be, trying to remember all their policies and procedures, and having to pull together their reports all by their lonesome while they continued to try to do the jobs they need to do. HA! Man, it'd be great to see what would happen if we did that. Anyway, if I go to the "casting call" then I'd at least be able to tell my dad that I tried. He asked me once why I didn't go on the show. (Well, besides the fact that it's not just a free-will, "I think I'll go be on The Apprentice this season" type of dealio, Dad...) I told him that I wouldn't really want to run a company for Trump. But you know what? Maybe I do.

So that's me this morning. I'm feeling saucy, and I like it, dammit.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

In case anyone was wondering...

By the way, I keep forgetting to mention this, but I haven't heard from Trey (either via e-mail or on the phone...) since I sent him a drink last week when I was at the Moose on Thursday. So he's officially off the Possible Date List.

Because I'm trying to rid myself of the jackasses. I'm glad that they're starting to show their jackassery sooner than they used to. Either that, or I'm getting better at seeing it when it happens.

I also have a tummy ache all of a sudden. Which sucks, cuz it's taco salad day.
That is all.
Update: Tummy ache went away after I ate the taco salad. Hm...magical taco salad. It did exactly the opposite thing that I thought it would do! Yay!

My Crack

I just want everyone to know that I had the BEST Diet Coke ever this morning. And it made my day.

God, I want was like Diet Coke crack, or something. But I can't have more...because then I'll just want even more, and the vicious cycle will have begun.

So I'm cutting it off before it goes any further. (It also helps that the McDonald's I got it from is not close to the office, and hell if I'm gonna drive up there for a refill on my Diet Coke. They'd probably get it from a different machine, anyway, and it wouldn't taste the same, and then my day would be all shot to hell because I went out of my way to get a refill of the sweetest Diet Coke ever, and all they wound up giving me was a refill of crap. So I won't be doing it...)

I'm going to go suck the last drops off the ice cubes in the cup now...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Ummm...Big Mac, anyone?

Holy Christ. When I clicked on this recipe page that was linked from the "front page" of the KC Star online today at lunch, I thought I might get a new idea for slow cooking a meal that I could do in my oven. (I don't own a crock pot. I've never bought one for myself...don't really have anyplace to keep it...)

I read through the first recipe, which is for the oven-cooked pot roast, and then I read through the second one, which is for a crock pot. And then I saw the calorie and fat content per serving in that recipe, and I thought, HOLY SHIT!! A number of people are gonna print this recipe out and make it for their families over the next few days/weeks. And I bet that not a one of them considered that they could go ahead and pick up a couple of Big Macs per person on their way home, and have dinner in a much faster and easier manner.

Go ahead...if you haven't already looked, just go check it out. It'll scare you out of ever making a pot roast in your crock pot, I bet.

Even though it's lower by only half (which is still a startling amount of fat and cals) why the hell is the one that's cooked in the over so much "healthier" to make? Same ingredients, it seems! I'm confused.

People are feeding their children this shit, y'all. Makes me wanna puke...

Getting back on track...

Jeezy...when one doesn't blog for a few days, one falls out of the pattern of being able to think like a blogger, it seems.

Nothing much exciting is happening, is the thing. My weekend after the whole Getting Stood Up Incident was just very mellow. And then yesterday was the big ol' exciting meeting with the managers at the Doubletree. Whoopee. And today is catching up on e-mails and making sure I cover everything I needed to with the New Boss before he headed back out of town for a little over a week. So Life, Blah is thy new name.

About that whole Getting Stood Up Incident, though. It's weird...I thought it would bother me more, but it hasn't so much. Here's a quick run-down on what happened, since I wasn't so forthcoming with info over the weekend: I called the asshole who was supposed to get together with me that night that we were supposed to get together. I called him before any kind of intoxication set in, so I can remember that I said I hoped he was ok (in case he'd been hurt/horribly maimed in some sort of accident, thereby rendering it impossible for him to call me back and solidify our meeting time for the date we were supposed to have...), but that if he was and nothing had happened, then he could just forget about calling me or e-mailing me ever again, and said goodbye.

Bastard wrote me an e-mail in response anyway. Said something about my "temper" and that he'd expected a call from me after 3, and when he didn't hear from me, he went out with his friends instead. (Oh, and he knows I'm a KU fan, so he threw in a little "hope you liked that KU game!" comment to close his note. Clearly, he's a grown-up...)

First of all, there was no temper involved. When I called him and left him the message I'd left him, I was not smarmy or sharp or anything when it came to my tone. I simply said that I hoped he was ok, and if he was, then he shouldn't call me or e-mail me again. Period. If he thought THAT was a display of my temper, then he should see me when I'm neck-deep in shit at work! Anyway, I wrote him back and said that I hadn't displayed any semblance of a temper skewed in the angry direction, and if he thought I had, then he has issues.

I then told him that after the game ended, I was talking to a lady who comes into the bar every day in the afternoon. She's 88, and she's very sweet. While chatting, I learned that she had lived in LA and northern Cali during WWII, and since we had that in common, and I also am fascinated by her stories from things that happened to her during the 30's and 40's (she was born in 1917, people!! 1917!!! Jesus...), I got carried away in talking to her. So I finally excused myself at about 3:30, knowing that I owed this guy a call, and then I called him. I told him how I'd waited until 5 p.m. No call back. Until 6 p.m.? No call. I finally left to go out at about 6:30, as I was hungry. I also told him that I asked him not to call or e-mail again as I don't like to hang out with people who don't keep their committments. I think it's bullshit.

Then I told him that if he'd been that interested in getting together, he could have called me when he hadn't heard from me (in the apparent 5 minute-fucking window he was expecting me to call him after 3 p.m. came along...).

So he was a big penis. And I'm actually really glad I learned that he's a penis before I ever even met him. I should've known better after his whole e-mail request for ME to call HIM last weekend (the 12th & 13th, I mean), and then he wasn't even home. And did he call me when he had a chance on Sunday? Um, no. So why was I a dumbass? I dunno.

I'm just hoping that this will be the end of the assholes for a bit. I deserve a decent guy for a bit. At least for a little bit. Because I really am a very nice girl.

Monday, February 21, 2005

How long can a spider live on dust?

I have a "pet" spider that lives in my bathroom. It stays out of the way by living in the space where the moulding around my door meets the wall in a very quiet part of the bathroom, close to the floor. I noticed it there for the first time around 3 weeks ago. It was really small then, and it's grown to be about the size I can't think of anything to compare it to. Half of a dime, I s'pose? It's small enough that I'd be able to grab it with some toilet paper and flush it without getting icked out.

But for some reason, I haven't done that. I don't know why...maybe I want to see how long it'll stay there? Maybe I want to see how long it can live on a diet of dust, microscopic bugs I can't see, and hair? Maybe I just like to know it's there. I mean, it's been 3 weeks already. How much longer can it go on for?

Last week, as I was drying off from my shower, I noticed the spider crawling towards my fuzzy slippers. I don't want to lose the spidey in my slipper (it's black, and the slippers are black...don't want a spidey in my slipper...), and I wasn't sure if it thought that the slippers were some sort of giant, unmoving bug that it could attack and live off of for the next several months, but I grabbed the slippers just before it got to them, and it freaked out, turned right around, and headed back to it's little established living spot by the door. It entertained me a good deal. It was kind of like we were playing together, if that's at all possible.

So I'll be keeping an eye on my spidey as long as it's around. This next week, I'll be housesitting for my Old Best Friend while she and her hubby head to Cali to visit with her dad. I'm afraid that when I come back, the spidey will be gone. But we'll have to see.

I'll probably be pretty quiet around here for the next couple of days. Going out tonight, and then tomorrow, there's a meeting all day that I have to attend. So happy Monday! See y'all later...

Saturday, February 19, 2005


Yeah, I got stood up.

I called the guy, as planned, waited until around 6:15 and never heard from him, so I went back to the Moose. Dave wanted to know what happened. I told him not to ask. He felt pretty bad for me, which was not my intention at all, really. But it was nice of him to be so "sad" about it, I guess...he told me to come over when I was done at the Moose and I did. He was pretty fucked up after drinking all day, but he was STILL drinking when I got to his house. We watched a movie, I played with his dog. I cried on him (because I'm so cool, and he was asking for it), he told me I deserve better and I agreed with him. He tried to get me to feel him up (is that what it's called on a guy? Oh, you know what I mean...), and as much as I would love for things to happen with us, I don't want it to happen on a night when I've been stood up, and when he's as fucked up as he is. So I told him to go to bed, and I came home. Dammit.

I hate men. But I sure hope I find a new one to date soon...:P

KU lost. Again. DAMMIT!!

Well, I went to the Moose to watch the KU game, and had a decent time, even if they did lose in OT. (Not fair!) Dave walked out the door as soon as they lost. He didn't even pay his bill! (But he's planning on heading back later. And it's not like he won't ever be in there again, so really, no biggy.)

I'm supposed to go on a date tonight. Yep. A real date. I swear, I need some new person contact. So I'm looking forward to it. The guy I've been chatting with for a little bit on line finally answered my call of "Let's get together!", and called me last night, and we chatted for a bit before I went to bed. He's nice! So I'm looking forward to getting together with him. We didn't set a time last night, though. And I told him I'd call him after 3 today, which I did, and I had to leave a message. Last weekend, when I left a message, I never heard back from him. I'm really hoping that doesn't happen this week as well. But if it does, I'll just go back to the Moose, I s'pose.

Dave asked me what I was doing tonight. (WHY?? I don't know...he never asks me shit like that.) So I told him I had plans, and he asked if I was going on a date, and I said that I was. I don't know why I didn't really want him to know. Maybe in case I do get stood up? I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure I won't get stood up, and this is a good thing to be doing. (God I hope this guy calls me back...)

I'm not desperate. I'm bored. Same thing? Whatev...

Friday, February 18, 2005

I'd never heard of this until I watched "Lost" the other night...

Found at Lyn's, and she got it off Lushy. I thought it'd be a fun thing to do at the end of the day.

The ones in bold are the ones I've not done.

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car
I’ve Never Been To Japan
I’ve Never Been In A Taxi
I’ve Never Been In Love
I’ve Never Had Sex In a Public Place
I’ve Never Been Dumped
I’’ve Never Done Cocaine
I’ve Never Shoplifted
I’ve Never Been Fired
I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse
I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parent’s House
I’ve Never Been Tied Up
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I’ve Never Been Arrested
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger
I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date
I’ve Never Lied To A Friend
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor
I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I’ve Never Been To Europe
I’ve Never Skipped School
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office
I’ve Never Been Married
I’ve Never Been Divorced
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
I’ve Never Posed Nude
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I’ve Never Killed Anyone
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I've Never Taken a Hallucinogenic Drug
I’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire

I’ve Never Eaten Sushi
I’ve Never Been Snowboarding
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online

WTF is up with the purposely setting yourself on fire one? I mean, who would do that? Oh, wait...when I was in junior high, we used to have a neighbor boy that was a bit of a wild kid, and I remember he used to spray hairspray on his arm, and then light it. It was kind of cool. But really, really stupid, when I think back on it now. Anyway, I've never done it...

Working a little slowly this morning...

I had a great night at the Moose last night. However, I was going to leave after the first wave of friends left, but then the second wave came in, and I had to buy them drinks because it was a birthday thing, and of course I had to have a shot along with them. Man, what a stupid idea. :P But fun!! (I am somewhat hungover, though, and had an argument or two with my alarm when I woke up, so that sucked. I really wish I could've slept in a bit. Bleh.)

I also sent a drink to Trey with a note on it that said, "After this one, you'd better ask me on a date, boyee!" He smiled and raised his glass to me from the end of the bar, and was very smiley and asked my friend Angie if he was blushing. But that was it. I'm thinking it might be time to give up on that one. Especially in light of the information someone shared with me about his extracurricular "job" he does on the side. Something about being a drug dealer, or something? I don't know. Angie can't say whether it's true or not, because she doesn't know for sure, and I was all, "But everyone keeps telling me he's a nice guy!" And she responded that he IS a nice guy! But if he deals drugs on the side, that's kind of a deal-breaker when it comes to dating him, you know? *sigh!* No biggie...we'll see what happens. It could have all been bullshit from my friend Bill. But he seemed like he was being serious for once. Which would suck...

The Very Annoying Guy Michael was there, though. MAN! He's soooo obnoxious. At one point, I was telling my friend Rich about the headaches I'd had earlier this week, and how it was connected to tension in the left side of my shoulders, and Annoying Michael started rubbing on my shoulder and was all, "Does that feel better?" And I said, "It doesn't hurt any more, and would you stop touching me, please?" But he kept doing it, and I finally was able to pull away far enough so he couldn't reach me, and told him again to keep his hands off me. He went back to drinking his beer and smoking his goddammed nasty pipe. Dude bugs the shit out of me. I was left alone with him before the second wave of friends came in, and he was telling me that I couldn't "get" a guy like Rich, and I told him, like I did the last time that he and I spoke on the topic, that I would most definitely be able to "get" someone like Rich if I wanted to, but unfortunately, I don't fancy him like that...he's just not my type. He kept repeating himself, though (um, did I mention that he's annoying?), and I finally went to the bathroom to get the hell away from him, and he left while I was gone. I had a beer to celebrate.

The other guy I've been chatting with via e-mail from Yahoo Personals wrote me back to my message of "are we gonna get together or what?" that I wrote the other day. He said he was sorry for having put off calling me, and said he needs to go to one of the restaurants this weekend to eat (how cool would that be? To go around and get to eat at restaurants to test them out for your job? Christ, it's a dream job for a girl like me!), and asked if I'd like to join him when he goes, possibly on Saturday? I wrote him back this morning and told him to call me, and I'd love to go with him, for sure! So we'll see if that actually pans out. I hope it does...

Ok, I need to go lay my head down on my desk for a bit...hope everyone is having a glorious Friday thus far...

Thursday, February 17, 2005

This woman makes me laugh out loud just about every. single. day.

Dooce is one of my daily reads, of course. (Hopefully, she'll post more than once throughout the day, as I check often, and am always appreciative of finding something new up when I do...) But her post from yesterday afternoon about her dealings with her child becoming mobile was hilarious to me, and I wanted to make sure no one missed it.

I don't know how I can identify so well with the information she shares. I've never had a child, nor do I ever want to. But I guess just the watching of the nieces and the nephew as they went through the baby-to-toddler stage, and knowing that this is exactly what I saw, and it's EXACTLY how I would feel if I were a mom (and, undenyably, it's also breaking down the very reasons why I could never BE a mom!), it really hits the spot, and cracks me up the way she words it. It's perfectly eloquent, it is.

Plus, you have to love an ex-mormon who lost her job because of her blog that uses the word "fuck" as freely and masterfully as I wish I ever could.

Hahahahaha! DVD player in her lap! Bwahahahahaha! Her baby as an angry female boss!

Go. Read and see what I mean. I know that at least the Twin will appreciate it, but I hope more of you do than just her. I mean, it's just so funny, people.

Well, it ended up being an exciting day for SOME people...

My brutha and his fiance had their baby last night! He's a healthy, happy boy, weighing in at 7 pounds, apparently. My bro sounds all happy and tired and peaceful. He just called to see if I'd heard the news yet. Which I did. Last night after I'd just fallen asleep, the twin called me all excited. (Dammit. I should've called her this morning when I woke up, so she could see why I was such a pill when she called me last night. Anyway...) Sorry for the bitter reaction, Twin. It is exciting news, but it wouldn't have changed any in between last night at 11:fucking15 my time and 7 a.m. your time this morning, right? I know, you probably wanted to talk about it. And I'm sorry. Really, I am. But I was totally asleep. Which is just sooooo nice, you know?

So yeah, something to celebrate fo sho. I'll be having a drink to my brutha and the future sis-in-law tonight at the Moose after work. Woo!

It's Thursday! It's Thursday! Which means it's almost Friday, and then I have a long weekend. I'm really hoping to get together with one of the boys I've been chatting it up with sometime this weekend. I wrote to one last night (not Trey...the other guy. Trey needs to write my ass back still...) and asked him if he's afraid to talk to me, or something, because he tells me to call him, and then I do, but he's out, and then he gets back too late to be able to call me back, blah, blah, etc...So I told him that I know he's busy (with work, as well as getting ready to head out of town for another trip to Spain), but we need to get together to have a drink (or two), or to take a walk around a park, or to have a friendly game of bowling, or something, because I'm getting tired of the back and forth shit, and need to meet him to see if there's even any point. He wrote me back this morning, but I can't read it since I'm at work. Dammit.

So while I'm all about standing back and letting the boy chase a bit (well, the new me is all about that, anyway...), I still think that some sort of movement needs to be made, and if he's not willing to make the movement forward (um, we need to MEET, you know?), then he's not interested, and it's time to cut it off where it is now. Which is nowhere, really, so no harm, no foul.

Anyway, I'm happy it's Thursday. YOU should be happy it's Thursday. Let's celebrate the day, huh? Sing a song, and dance about. Try not freak anyone out, though. General rule to singing and dancing about: if the majority of people around you do not join in, and are instead looking at you very oddly, and one of them picks up the phone to dial a number very slowly, you might want to stop the singing and dancing about. Just a suggestion.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Isn't the fact that it's hump day supposed to make it more exciting?

Blah day, y'all. But I did read a few doozies on some of the news sites.

Shit. That must've been yesterday, cuz I can't find anything good out there now.

Well, go read the latest at Jason's, because, as usual, he cracked my ass up today. (Ooh! And damned if he hasn't updated twice since I read him earlier. Coolio...)

Tonight, I can't decide whether I want to stop at Borders so I can pick up cute thank you cards, or just head home and start to try to break down the large limbs that fell off my tree in the last storm we had, or just get on the treadmill and fuck all else.

But at least "Lost" and "Alias" are new. Woo!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Well, that's just fabulous.

Trey saw me sitting at the bar last night with Dave. He would have come over to say hello, he said, but he thought I was "on a date."

I had no idea what to do with that info. I tried calling the Twin for help, but she never called me back, and her home phone is going directly into voice mail. Dammit.

So I wrote back to Trey, telling him that he should have come and said hello, that I didn't see him there, and that I was having a drink with Dave who is a regular at the Moose, and is always in the bar from around 4:30 to 6 every afternoon. I did not embellish and say anything of my torrid and crappy past with Dave, nor did I get all cutesy and say something like, "A date? What the hell is that? It's been so long that I don't even remember what a date is like!" I just told him I was sorry I missed him, and said I'd talk to him soon...I hope.

Should I have held out longer and not written to him? Jeesh...I'm tired of this cat and mouse bullshit. I want to go on a date and see if something is going to develop with one of these guys, already. GAH!

Eddie Izzms

And every once in a while, they stop and look around as if to say, "Did I leave the gas on?"

"No! I'm a fucking squirrel!"

Monday, February 14, 2005

Pure torture.

Tonight is a night of self-restraint. I did go to the Moose, so that was my little reward before the evening really began, I suppose. I sat and had a couple of drinks with Dave and visited with one of my favorite bartenders. Watched a bit of the Syracuse game, and then headed out to load up the car with gas, and came home. Then I emptied the dishwasher, so I could load the crap in my sink into it before I made my dinner. Had a spaghetti and meatballs Lean Cuisine and some veggies, and then rested a bit, read the e-mails from my little pen-pals (damn those men...neither of them have called yet, and no hints at dates at. all. Which is total bunk, but whatev...), wrote back to one of them, and then went to get on the treadmill just as The Bachelorette began. Or should I just call it the "Jen Asks Jerry 'Why?' Over and Over Again Show." I couldn't stop yelling at that bitch to just shut it. GAH!

Somewhere in there, I got my clothes into the washer, which is nice, because now I have my favorite jeans clean to wear to work tomorrow.

But here's where the restraint comes in...I want to write back to Trey, but I'm not gonna. I wrote him a note the other night telling him that the ball is in his court, and his response was "Oh, so the ball's in my court huh? We'll have to see about that..." and then he mentioned that he was sorry that he'd been so busy. And that was that. So I could write back a witty and sexy little response, but I think I'll do the run away thing with him right now. Give it a couple of days, see if he calls/writes again, and then roll with that. I think he'll probably get in touch with me one way or another, but I'll let y'all know what happens.

The other thing I'm having to exercise a great deal of restraint on: Yesterday, I treated myself to both a #2 at McDonalds (which I haven't had in what seems like an eternity...) for lunch, with no cheese of course, as well as an Amy's Soy Cheese Pizza from Whole Foods for dinner. The pizza splits itself into 3 equal servings, and I ate all but 2 of the pieces. I was prepared to eat the whole thing (which I used to do every Sunday night when I lived in Boston), but got down to the last 2 slices and felt like I would get a tummy ache if I continued, so I stopped. So I have these two pieces of yummy pizza in my fridge, and I want them sooooooo bad!!! But I did NOT just work my ass off on that fucking treadmill only to burn calories that I don't need to eat. Uh-uh.

So I'm resisting. And it's killing me! I figured I'd come in and type this instead. Dammit, I had dinner, and it was a whole 240 calories. (I also had two beers earlier, so there were another 300 cals, I'm sure...) So I don't need anything else. I am hungry, though. Which sucks. Losing weight is always hard. I like to lose it, really, but the physical difficulties of getting to that point where I'm actually losing enough to motivate myself to keep up the work is a very hard time for me. (And I'm shutting off comments on this post, because this isn't a post where I'm looking for a bunch of "good job!" comments from people - eh-em, Mark - I'm needing something to do with my hands right now, before I finish watching the KU game, and can head in and read before I crash out for the night. Some people thrive on the "Go girl!" types of comments. I'm not one of them, kay? At least not tonight...)

Hopefully, tomorrow won't be such a difficult day for me. I have to go grocery shopping (yay! It's a payday!!!), and I'll come home and work out again. I keep feeling like I have something else going on tomorrow night, too, but I can't figure out what. Hm. Anyway, I'm keeping busy, and trying not to focus on the little, teeny, tiny restrictions I'm placing on myself.

Hopefully, it'll all pay off.

Dave said he loved me...

I had a couple of odd little conversations with Dave last night, one of them due to the fact that I finally grew a pair and asked him why we didn't work out romantically. As I suspected, it's because (a) I pushed too hard, and (b) he's a scaredy cat (which he readily admits, actually...). He said that he thinks we work better together as friends, which I thoroughly agreed with. He then said, "You know I love you, right?" Well, no...I didn't. But that's a nice thing to say. It was an interesting conversation, and helped me a great deal. It's nice to know that he doesn't see me as one of his stalker women, and that we can hang out as easily as we do together. Blah-de-blah...moving on.

Then I watched "Garden State", and lost my mind over the thought of yet another Hollywood romance being introduced into my brain. People do NOT fall in love over the course of 4 days!!! Especially not with a spaz like Sam. I mean, yeah, she grew on me, but she was really annoying at first, I thought. Good movie overall, though.

I had such a fun weekend, really. Between the getting too drunk on Saturday to be able to stay up past 7:30 p.m., and then the floating around doing nothing much yesterday (oh...well, there was a plumbing emergency when I did a load of laundry in the morning, but I solved it and feel empowered) except watching t.v., recovering from Saturday, and then going to the bookstore to buy a couple of new books, it was a really enjoyable time. Oh, AND I watched "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" on Friday night. THAT was some good shit. I've never smoked pot, nor do I ever plan on doing so. But this movie cracked my ass up, regardless of that fact. I liked it a lot.

Now go forth and have a good week, mutha-fuckas. Peace.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I caved.

Why am I so caught up in this whole should I or shouldn't I dance of making the first move when it comes to meeting/talking to men? I've been writing back and forth with one from Yahoo for about a week or so now, and he gave me his number first, and then I gave him mine, and I never heard from him except via e-mail. So yesterday we were catching up through a couple of notes, and it turns out he's been sick all week, so I tell him that sucks, but I'm glad he's getting better, blah, blah, etc...and he writes back just a simple "Can you call me tomorrow (Saturday)?" and then signed his name.

*sigh!* WHY isn't he calling me?? And why the fuck am I so hung up on the convention of it all?

I called him. Left him a message. As I also said to Trey in a note last night, the ball is in his court. We'll see what he does with it, I s'pose.

It would be nice to have a date with a new guy, though. I need it.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Meme de Julie

Found at Julie's. What would your answers be?

I'm in this kind of a mood, so here it is, as taken directly from Julie's blog (and hopefully she won't sue me)..."It's called the 'Hit It List.' Name the 10 people you would most like to have sex with. Totally free, totally no questions asked, no strings, no worrying about your partner's reaction." There's also what she and her friends she found the meme through call the "desert island pick", but I think they mean "deserted" island. At least, that's what made more sense to me. Anyway, the "desert island" pick rules are as follows: " can name an 11th person if you are totally straight or totally gay, but still name a same-sex/opposite sex person."

I've thought about mine a bit throughout the day, and not many have changed, but now I'm watching "Girl With a Pearl Earing" again, and remembered a couple of changes that needed to be made from my original list. So here's my final final draft:

George Clooney; Johnny Depp; Jeremy Northam; Leo DiCaprio; The guy who played the main character in "The Tao of Steve" (Donal Logue); Jude Law; Ewan McGregor; Chris Noth; Colin Firth; and the morning news guy on my local ABC station.

My same sex/deserted island pick would be Kate Winslet.

So, who would you choose? Go on! Fess's fun to think about, really. I'll have happy dreams, anyway...

Personals Experience

I had my first experience with an asshole through Yahoo Personals this week. I think that says something pretty cool about the whole internet dating thing, btw...I've been doing it for about 3 years (off and on) now, and this is the first time I've run into a complete asshole. Huh. Anyway...

So this guy writes to me last Thursday (the 3rd), and tells me all kinds of stuff about himself like where he went to school, and what he does now for a living, and what he likes to do in his spare time, and what he thinks his friends would say about his personality, and all that sort of shit. It was one of the longest initial notes I've received from a guy, and while it did seem sort of form-letterish, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because he seemed serious and mature, and still like he had a fun side. (He's not the most handsome guy on the planet, but I'm not really one to judge that much until I actually meet someone in person. Unless, of course, there's absolutely no initial attraction at all through the picture, which happens now and then, and in those cases I'm very honest and tell a guy straight up that I don't think we'd be a good match.) So I decide to write him back...sort of a long note myself, giving him my basic run down about work, and where my family is at, and what I like to do, and I also mention that I like to drink (his profile says he doesn't drink at all), and would he have a problem dating a person that drinks alcohol? I just covered the initial bases, IMO. I wrote him that note last Friday during a lull at work.

And he doesn't write me back. Not at all. Not a simple, "Oh, sorry! I'm not interested after all," or a "Sorry, but the drinking thing is a deal-breaker,"...nothing. Which pisses me off. I mean, it's one thing for a guy that I've communicated with initially to not write me back at all...that I can understand a bit. But this guy wrote to ME first! And I wrote him a polite and friendly note back, and he sends me NOTHING in return? Totally bad internet dating etiquette.

So I decide to write him the following note yesterday afternoon:

"Being fairly new to the whole internet dating thing, you might not realize that it's actually quite rude to write a long message to a girl, who then replies back promptly and politely, and then to completely ignore her thereafter.

No need for a response to this. Just know that you can at least write to a person and tell them you're not interested. It's the polite thing to do. Especially when you were the one to initially show the interest in them.

Good luck in your search!"

Ok, it's not dripping in sweetness, but he needed to know that he was being rude. So I told him. And he writes me back (even though I told him not to worry about it...) the following two messages:

7:10 p.m.
"Thanks! I liked your message." (This, btw, is one of the "canned" responses that Yahoo offers you to be able to click on and send from a drop down menu...)

7:14 p.m.
"blah, blah, blah..."

Um, excuse me? Yeah, I'm not letting that kind of response go. Not in the cosmic mood I'm apparently supposed to be in right now (according to my horoscope...I'll put more in about this at the bottom of this post, so keep reading...), so I shoot him back the following note last night at about 9 p.m.:

"Ookaaayy. So you're either a total ass, or you're trying to be funny, and not being successful at it. I'm willing to bet it's the total ass thing.

I should've known better after reading your (apparently incredibly contrived and ingenuine) initial note to me, but I'm a nice person, and just didn't realize you might be an ass until several days had passed.

You might want to try growing up a little bit before you contact anyone else. Some people take the internet dating thing seriously, and actually want to meet cool people that they can get along with. Jerk."

I mean, what a total dillhole! Pissed me off...

I'm wanting to tell everyone off lately, I've found. Between my desire to tell my bartender friend that I don't want to hang out with her any more when she drinks, and my sudden impending need to tell Dave, to his face, what an ass I think he is and that I think he'd benefit greatly from a good amount of therapy, I'm confused. Why the sudden need to break it all down in such a harsh way to the people I've been hangning out with? (And apparently the ones I've never even met...) So my horoscope today says the following:

"You won't believe the things you'll be saying for the next couple of days -- not that you've ever really been shy to start with. But with the kind of astrological ammunition you'll be packing, you'd better pass out warnings...It seems that the heavens have decided to pass out coupons, redeemable toward a veritable arsenal of verbal weapons. Interestingly enough, the offer is only good for your sign. Needless to say, you should be very careful if you decide to accept the offer -- and even more careful when deciding where and when to put them into use. Basically, you'll have the verbal ability to decimate anyone who even mildly disagrees with you. It's up to you to draw the line where it should be drawn."

Shit. Maybe I should hole myself up in my house this weekend, and disconnect my phone. I mean, having "...the verbal ability to decimate anyone who even mildly disagrees with [me]" isn't a good thing, in my book.

Could be kind of therapeutic, though.

I might need to find new friends after this weekend is over. We'll see. :P

Thursday, February 10, 2005

A plea to my face

Dear Lovely Face O' Mine,

Over the past couple of days, you have been insisting on breaking out into some pretty funky little reactions. Of course, I'd be fine with a reaction or two ocurring maybe in a less-obvious spot, like say just below your right ear, or perhaps even at a spot where your chin and neck come together. But no. You have been insisting on breaking out into weird little nervous reactions in the space between your upper lip and nose. That's a fairly visible and obvious part of you, in case you weren't aware.

Can you stop it? Please? This morning, for example, there was a hurting little red thing smack in the middle of the space previously mentioned, right above your upper lip. That went away, but now I'm dealing with a red, welty, itchy bump-thing that is raising up right above the left corner of your mouth. And the water delivery guy was just here, and he was nice and didn't say anything, but how embarassing! What am I gonna do with you?

I could understand the reactions had I waxed that area recently. But I haven't! In fact, I need to really badly, but have been holding off because...well, because you do shit like this to me after I do it, so I didn't wanna. But now that you're preemptively breaking out in irritations of various forms after I just so much as think of waxing your upper lip, I don't know what to do with you. What is causing you to do this, huh? Cuz if you tell me, I'll stop doing it. Honest.

So please, hear me, and understand that it's hard enough for me to capture a man and try to get laid with the way my body and brain work against me much of the time. Give me a break! You're really all I've got left! So hang in there, mellow the fuck out, and just stop it.


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Updated photos! Here they are, my friends...

Ok, so I've managed to stay rather anonymous throughout the last few months I've been doing this blogger thing, but these pictures are fun. Hope you like them! They're from a few different times. The one of me and the Twin and the Oldest Best Friend was from my visit home in December for Christmas. (Twin, I have more I'll be sending...) The ones of me and my bartender friends from the Moose (Steven, Angie, and Liz) are from Adam's going away party. (He left to move to another bar as manager in mid-January. It sucks without him at the Moose...) And then there are one or two other ones that are random. The one of my friend Melinda and the bartender friend I always talk about (the one that gets excessively drunk, and who I dislike being around unless she's sober now...) was from Super Bowl Sunday, and I thought I was looking pretty cute that day. I was wrong.

So have fun! Check out the album...hopefully the link works...

A little story about my breasts...

They've gotten huge. I got pics back yesterday that I finally had developed (they went as far back as my trip home for Christmas), and the boobs, man! THE BOOBS!!! It's like they could have their own zip code, they're so huge. So hopefully, as I continue to attempt to lose some weight, they will start to shrink. Because, bleh. Just not attractive, IMO. (And I'll be posting the links to the pics hang in there!)

I had a lovely birthday. Dave was an asshole, but what's new? My other friend Dave (Dave #2, for purposes of this story, to help lessen any confusion...) and his girlfriend Shara spent time with me, got me a present, bought me a couple of $1 tacos (yay for tacos!), bought all my drinks (except for the one that another friend bought me early in the evening...), and I was able to talk to them separately about their relationship, which is a bit unconventional. (Dave #2 is married, but wants a divorce. Shara ROCKS, and wants to be with Dave #2, but is having a hard time with his whole not-divorced-yet status. They're very cute together, though, and we (all of Dave #2's friends) feel that Shara might be the final catalyst Dave #2 needs in order to push him through the door to the attorney's office. Because he's been talking about doing it for over a year now. I've only known him for the past 4 months, though, so it's not a problem for me, really. Everyone else is annoyed by it. Including Shara. Dave #2 met Shara on New Year's weekend, and Shara is to the point where she's saying, "Shit or get off the pot" to Dave #2 on a regular basis. It's keeping things very interesting for our group of friends, IMO. But I hope he doesn't fuck up. Cuz I really like hanging out with Shara...) So I had a great evening overall, even though my confusion over what the FUCK is up with Dave kind of made me cry later in the evening, and woke me up early this morning (I've been up since 4:fucking30 a.m., thankyouverymuch. This message has been brought to you by the Association of the Idiot Woman Who Can't Stop Thinking of Dave, Even Though He's an Asshole...), and I wrote a letter (a letter that won't be sent, of course...) to get it off my chest/out of my brain, and I felt much better.

I just wish that I could have the balls to tell him that he's an asshole. Like, right to his face. But I also want to continue to hang out in perfect harmony at the Moose. So I can't. Plus, he could probably give a flying fuck that I think he's an asshole, so there's no point in saying it.

I also cried because I'm tired of this aloneness. It makes no sense that men don't want to settle down with me! And I'm tired of it. Again. So thinking of that last night made me cry, and blah, blah, etc...I'm over it.

I'm now looking forward to the KU game tonight, a new episode of Lost, and a new episode of Alias. And working out, of course. Because it's been since Saturday. And I need to work out now for the next 4 days in a row in order to keep up with the schedule of losing the boobs. (I worked out 4 days last week, because I rock. 2 weeks in a row, and I'm my way, babay!!) So I shall. Wish me luck in losing the boobs! (Men, I know you don't want to wish me luck, but do it anyway. You don't understand how big of a pain they are. And I just want them to go down one size, a D. Please, can I have my D-cup back?)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I'm seriously doubting the power of the Beamer...

I'm looking at the mess that is The Intersection Outside My Building right now, and I'm not sure how the car is going to handle this shit. Dave might have to buy me drinks later this week, is what I'm thinking. But he might only be Mr. Big Spender on my actual birthday. Dammit, I wanted to go home with that jerk tonight, and that's effectively a ruined plan.

Hm. Maybe the weather gods are stepping in and helping the lovelife gods to abort any kind of plans I might've had in the works to seduce Dave tonight.

There's a chance I may have caused this snowstorm, it seems. So it's my own damned fault that it'll take me the better part of the evening to get my ass home. Sheesh!

Short weeks ROCK!

Ok, so it's Tuesday already, which is just lovely. :)

It's snowing out, as expected and predicted, blah, blah, etc...It's just so weird when it comes to snow. Last week, we had a good amount fall, but it didn't really stick to anything other than trees and yards. When it hit the road, it melted. Today, it's obviously considerably colder out (bone-chilling, in fact...), so the good amount of snow that's falling (dumping, pouring, etc...) is sticking already. It's only been falling for about 45 minutes, and we have ground coverage, people.

I don't care. It's my BIRTHDAY dammit!! And I'm going to celebrate tonight by going to the Moose, and having someone buy my drinks. I just won't go home first, is the thing. Because if there's more than 3 inches of snow in my driveway, it's going to take some shovelling to get me in my garage. (Last year, about this time, the Twin came to visit for our 30th b-day. I'd seen my older sister do the gun-it-through-the-snow thing once - in her Volvo, mind you - so I thought I could do it. Yeah, we got stuck about halfway up my driveway. My car just doesn't do well unless it's an already-been-plowed-road it's on, or unless the driveway ahs been shovelled a bit. So I figure that I'll head straight to the Moose (even though I'm wearing the same sweater I was wearing last night. No one will notice...), and then head home later expecting to shovel my way in. I have boots. I'll be fine.

I do love the snow. And it's better that it's falling during the day, because that gives it the opportunity to be plowed from the streets, and all that good stuff. Man, it's really coming down out there! Sheesh!

Ok, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (and the Twin, of course...)! It's gonna be a good week, I think.

Monday, February 07, 2005

The Bachellorette. Everybody say, "Hm."

Ok, so Jean Paul, Jerry, and Ryan (from Cali) are still in it. What did I say after the first show? What were my predictions? OH YEAH!! That Ryan (from Cali), Jerry, and Jean Paul would be the final 3. Now, of course, tonight, she's dealing with the whole whittling down from 4 to 3 issue, and the one she'll be whittling out is Wendell. I think it's because of the funky bags under his eyes, but it also might be because of his asshole little brother that ruins everything for him, as well as his entire family being weird and a pain in the ass. At least according to the commercials.

He also talks sort of funny. But I think I must talk sort of funny, so I'm not judgin'.

Now this is all pure speculation, of course. Lord only knows what will actually happen.

Had a fun night tonight. I wandered about and had a good time today, woke up late, went to the store, had some lunch, showered, cleaned the house (finally!), went to Tarjay and bought makeup I've been needing, found a birthday card for the Twin (which will be showing up late...and sort of sucks. Sorry!), and then hit the Moose. Dave and Dave and Shara and I laughed harder than I've laughed in a long time. It was wonderful! Dave has convinced me to head in tomorrow night as well, since he'll be buying my drinks, so I can't pass that shit up, since he rarely makes such an offer. (He hasn't bought me a drink since the last good weekend we had together. *sigh!*) It will be, after all, my birthday, for cryin' out loud. I hope he asks me back to his place, actually. Because I could stand for some action.
Shut up! Like you wouldn't take it too!! (Ok, none of you have ever seen him. But you should. Because, DAYUM!!!)
Anyway, I'm having a good week thus far. Dad and stepmom called me today to wish me a happy b-day, tomorrow, the New Boss will be back in town, AND it's supposed to snow (yay! I do love me some snow...), so work should be busy and fun, and I have a generally positive outlook right now, which is vunderbar.
Is that how that's spelled? Ah, what do I care? You know what I mean...
So, I need to hit the head again. Have a good night, y'all. Enjoy the Bachelorette, if you're so inclined, and then congratulate me on my fabulously accurate skills of foreseeing the outcome when the show is over later tonight. (It still has a half-hour to go here in the MW. So I haven't given anything away, BTW...)
I kick ass, baby! (Am I high on something? I feel like I'm high on something. I'd better go...)

I won my bet...

Ok, So the Eagles didn't win, dammit. But I still won my bet.

My friend Rich was drunk, it seems...he thought that the word "facetious" was spelled without a "t" in it anywhere. He's not retarded. He's an engineer. And he only bet me a quarter on the deal, so he's smart in that regard, I s'pose. But he owes me a quarter, dammit.

I'm hungry. What shall I eat? Or should I just have another cigarette? We'll see...

B-day weekend ends successfully, IMO. I'm a happy girl. WOO!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Pissy, pissy, missy...

I'm irritated. I'm home on a Saturday night that should be being spent with my friends buying me shots in celebration of my upcoming birthday. Have I outgrown this custom? Or do I have shitty friends? I don't know...

I went to visit my friend today. The Old Best Friend that had her baby about 3 months ago. She's doing so well, and after leaving her house, and having the evening I've had since, I wish I'd been invited to eat dinner with her and her family, had several more "fruity drinks", as we were calling them, and had had the opportunity to curl up on their couch and fall asleep several hours later. I love her life. I wish her life was mine. Her house smelled of yummy dinner cooking, and was cozy as all get out, and even though the baby needed to be walked around a bit to calm her sudden burst of boredom just before I left, it was just heaven on earth.

But I could do it all without the stepchildren and the new baby, of course. Because bleh. Kids. Double bleh...

I'm just not happy tonight. And I feel like I'm at a crossroads, but I have no idea where the hell the crossroads is at, and I don't know what will happen in either direction that I choose to go. I have several prospects for dates coming up. I'm looking forward to that, but for now, things are at a stand-still. I'm pretty sure that Trey has the wrong idea, and that he thinks that all I'm looking for is sex. I could be wrong about that. But he wrote me a note last night at midnight that said, "It's 12:00. Are you still up?" No, I wasn't still up, I told him in my note back today at about 2 p.m. I was planning on being at the Moose tonight for a while, but the usual bartender friend I hang out with after she gets off work was actually cocktailing tonight, and wouldn't be off anytime soon, Dave left at about 6:20, leaving me to eat and drink alone, because our other friends decided to go to another fucking bar that I hate more and more each day. We're supposed to watch the Super Bowl there tomorrow, and I'll go and suck it up, and deal. But Dave doesn't want to go there, so that'll be icky. He's planning on going to the Moose. I told him that we'll all be elsewhere. He doesn't seem to care. I'll try one more time tomorrow to convince him to come where we are, but if it doesn't work, it's not my damned fault. I want to go to the Moose. Can I convince my other friends to consider such an idea? Probably not. I've been trying all week to no avail. But it's MY damned birthday!! Well, my birthday weekend, anyway. I want to sit someplace comfy, and eat good food, and have fun with ALL of my friends, and not just a couple of them, you know?

So I'm pissy. I'm almost to the point of wanting to stay home tomorrow, and just saying fuck-all to everyone else. But I'll get over it. Because I want to blow out the candle in the brownie that I make for myself, dammit. It's my birthday. I deserve to celebrate.

And suddenly, all I want is a new group of friends.


Friday, February 04, 2005

Lushy's questions...

Lushy posted her questions for me in response to my post from Wednesday. So here they be:

1. You win a 40 week van tour of Europe for 4 people. You can't talk to anybody but those three other people. Who do you take and why?
Good question. Love this one. Ok, I don't know the limitations on who the people are that I can take. I'm assuming it has to be people that I know. So here's my list:
1. The Twin, of course.
2. Our best friend Miranda. Because when you get the three of us together, it's break-out time! We have the BEST times together, always, always, always.
3. This one is hard. But I think my co-worker D.W. would fit in best. She's got kids, like the Twin does, and she'd fit in really well with the personalities represented in the van by myself, Miranda, and the Twin. All three of these girls have never been to Europe, either, so they deserve to go.

2. How much money would it take for you to eat a dog turd? (I know that's a weird question, but it's an ongoing discussion between me and my BF).
This depends on lots of things. Are we talking just one piece of poo? Or are we talking about a whole pile? Either way, I'd only consider eating maybe the poo of a small dog, like a toy poodle or a dachsund (sp?), or something like the teeny muts my sister has. And it'd have to be a LOT of cash. Not taxable. And I think I wouldn't take less than $100,000. Because, really, that's just the most disgusting thought ever. I'm gonna have to ask my friends this one sometime this weekend.

3. When was the last time you laughed until your sides hurt and what were you laughing at?
The last time was probably when I was home visiting for Christmas, and the Twin and I met up with our oldest friend Miranda and her hubby and her sister for dinner. We were laughing pretty hard at lots of things that night. I can't remember exactly what, but we always laugh very, very hard when the three of us get together. Isn't it funny that when I think of the times that I've laughed that hard, most of them have been when I was with Miranda and Twin, and I can't remember for the life of me what we were laughing at? Hm. There was a time we went to a Coco's for lunch in Mission Viejo, and we were already a bit punchy, but one of us was served a side of fries that included a still frozen fry. For some reason, this sent us into categorically insane giggles/straight up laughing out loud spasms that lasted throughout the rest of our lunch. I think we pretty much drove the other patrons and the waitresses to want to kill us, we were so obnoxious. But we were having so. much. fun. There was just no stopping it. And I can't remember why the fry made us laugh as hard as it did. I asked the Twin about that recently, and she can't remember either, but it did. And I'm glad we have moments like that every now and then.

And I haven't watched Garden State yet, but I will...soon. Maybe this weekend. Ooh! Or on my day off on Monday! That'll be fun. Thanks for the suggestions and questions Lushy!

Big ol' mess of stuff...

I had sooo much fun last night! Went to the Moose and everyone was there...all of my friends. Even the ones that had been out of town, and then the one guy got in a fight with one of the managers at the Moose on Wednesday, apparently, and I didn't think he'd be there, but he was, and it was good to see him and his girlfriend. (She's the one that gave me that book a few weeks ago...she's SUCH a doll!) Dave was in a good, good mood, and when I asked him if he could come over on Saturday and help me clean up the limbs in my front yard (they fell down in the storm we had here a few weeks ago, and they're too big around for me to just snap into bits and then bundle up on my own, so I need a saw, or something...), he said that he has a guy coming to clean up the limbs in his yard soon, and he'll just send him over to my house when he's done at his place. I didn't refuse the offer, because I think he owes me a bit for being such an asshat to me the last time we went through our little split, and because I just paid $300 to replace the mirror that was knocked off my car when it was parked in front of his goddammed house so he could get out of his driveway to go to coffee one morning. So, I accepted his offer willingly. Plus, they're really not large limbs...they're just large enough that I can't do anything without the help of tools. And there are only a couple of them, so it's not toally out of control. It was a very nice gesture on his part, I thought.

Trey was there, but he didn't even come over to say hello, or anything. I wrote him an e-mail last night when I got home, and I can't quite remember what I put in it, but it was something to the effect of how I have heard he's shy, but I hope we're able to talk soon, blah, blah, was not a good idea to send that e-mail, I don't think. But I'm over it, cuz men seem to be falling from the sky into my life right now.

The other cutie that wrote me back from Yahoo is just so adorable, and I wrote him a good long e-mail last night, and he wrote me back, it seems. (Twin, can you help me out with that again today? Gimme a call when you get the chance...) So I look forward to hearing what he had to say. And then ANOTHER couple of guys (that are cute, even!) have written me notes since I re-joined on Wednesday, too. The one that wrote me last night is 30, is an investment banker for a large Wall Street firm, seems a bit serious, but is assuring me throughout his note that he loves to have fun, and his friends all see him as being a very genuine, fun-loving, friendly guy, so I'm gonna give him a spin, too. He's not the most handsome guy, and he says he doesn't drink, which is a bit different for me, but I'm not one to care much about people's choices like that. Hell, my brother stopped drinking when he started seeing his fiance, and he's still fun to hang with. This guy is tall, went to KU, and seems like a very grown-up guy. I love financial stability. It's a very attractive quality to me. :)

Also, my friend Rich was a bit buzzy last night, and he was flirting shamelessly. Which was a bit odd. He's not usually so open with it, normally. I've found that the drunker he is, the more flirtatious he becomes. Not that it makes me uncomfy, really. It's just unusual, is all. He's about 20 years older than me. And I think he's jealous of Dave, because Dave is only a couple of years younger than him, but Rich knows that I was seeing him, and he's always making comments about how manipulative Dave is, and last night he made some comments about him being a jerk about something or other...I don't know. I don't think Rich should drink that much, really. But he was hanging out with the ragingly boring dude we all hate for most of the evening, and when he's stuck talking to that guy, he just drinks and drinks and drinks. Whatev. I'm not one to judge.

So when I left the Moose, I'd been there for a little while and I was hungry, so I hit the Bell. It's been weeks since I've eaten Taco Bell, and it was lovely. Anyway, I called Dave on my way home to let him know that we (me, Melinda and her boyfriend) plan to head to the Other Place tonight, because we're going to visit with the bartender friend, and all, and said that if he wants, I could call him today, and let him know when we're gonna be there. (He's been sort of pouty lately, talking about how we aren't calling him to let him know where we're going, and all that. Which is silly, because we never did before, really, so I don't know what his deal is all of a sudden.) I left him a message at that point, but he called me back at home probably about a half hour later, and we chatted a bit about it, and he pouted more, saying that no one tells him where they're going, and I said that we just figure that he doesn't want to go anywhere once he's gone home from the Moose. But I said, "Come out with us tomorrow! If you don't have other plans already, I mean..." And he said he has no plans, so I told him I'd call him when I had more details. I'm going to get my hair done tonight (it's root cover-up time!) so I told him I'd call him as soon as I knew what was up, or directly after I leave the salon, or whatever. He seemed pleased with that. I'm worried that he's going to start in on me again, and I just don't know how I'll handle it. He's my Mr. Big, guys. I just can't stop thinking of him like that, and it kills me to know that he's such a grump and that if I let him in again, he's just going to fuck it up by behaving like an asshat again. And I won't let that happen. I don't like crying over a man. It makes me feel weak and pitiful. I hate feeling like that.

But he is Big. Good God, how it messes with my head. Thank goodness I read that book, though. I need to read it again, I think. Maybe I will on Saturday. I've got a few hours in the middle of the day that're gonna be open to whatever I want to do with them (KU game is on early again, so Dave and I are watching that at the Moose, and then after that's over, I don't have anything to do until I go visit the Old Best Friend and her baby at 4:45) so reading the book least the parts that certainly apply to my specific situation...would be a good thing to do. Because I don't want to be a dumb girl when it comes to men. Not anymore. So I'm not gonna. :)

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I love this time of year...

I kept telling my co-worker that I couldn't wait for the beginning of the year. Things slow waaaay down around this office at the beginning of the year, and sure enough, they stuck to their pattern this year, too. I'm happy. The New Boss warned me that we're going to be very busy next week. That's fine. I can take it. This week has been sooo mellow that it'll be nice to have a punch in activity, really.

So, the controversy of the Moose continues. Have I said anything about it much before now? Maybe I have. I can't remember. Basically, since by bartender friend was fired/since she quit last week, she's been very vocal about how much it must suck for the management at the Moose to realize how faithful her regulars were to her, and how she told them it would be like this, blah, blah, blah. Well, the thing is, I still go to the Moose. I've been there at least twice since she quit, and would've been there more had it not been for this damned cold I've had all week. I made plans to go there tonight, as usual, to meet up with Melinda and her boyfriend and to see Dave. And I'm hoping to run into Trey there, of course.

So the bartender friend calls me last night, and we talk about the latest bullshit that's happening with her and the Moose, and I finally feel like saying, "But I don't care!!! It's just a bar I like to go to because it's close to home, it's comfy, I like the other bartenders/waitstaff, and I have friends that I meet up with there!" But I held it in, miraculously, and I told her, "But you know that I still go there, right? I mean, I told you straight up when you quit that I'd still be going there, and that I'd also come visit you wherever you wind up finding a job, too. But I'm not stopping going to the Moose." So she finally says she's gonna go, because wherever she's at, the music is starting. So we say our goodbyes.

And I just needed to talk about it. I didn't want to bug Melinda...figured I'd chat with her about it tonight. So I called Dave. I told him that I'm tired of being in the middle of all the crap that's going on with her and the Moose. He expressed his disdain with the fact that it seems to have changed around there (meaning at the Moose) lately, and he thought that the rest of us were going someplace else all week and not calling to let him know since he hadn't seen us. So I told him about my cold, and how I really had wanted to come out on Monday, but resisted the temptation to do so. And then I told him that Melinda and I were meeting up definitely tonight at the Moose, so we could hang out, and talk about SuperBowl plans, etc...Of course, he'll be there, he said. So I started to say goodbye, and he's all, "So are you doing ok?" And I said, "Oh, I'm fine! The cold is almost gone, and if none of you caught it from hanging out with me on Saturday, then you certainly should be fine hanging out with me at this point," because I thought he was worried about hanging out with me while I still have a cold. (Not that we all make out, or anything, but they are awfully easy to hand around, I've found. I mean, I caught this one somehow, right?) Then I said, "And how are you?" He said he was fine, and then he asked me if I needed anything. I said, nope. I was good to go. He said, "You sure?" I assured him I was fine, and then said I'd see him tonight, and said goodbye. He was being really nice, though. So this friendship thing is gonna work, I think. (Yay!) A little bit of a departure from the point of this post, but I thought I'd share anyway, because he's being nice. Which is a good thing.

Anyway, my point is that I'm irritated that any kind of drama is trying to suck me into where I don't necessarily belong. Yes, it sucks that the Moose changed it's policy on offering $1.50 Miller Lights on Saturdays, and now all beers are regular price. But there are ways around it, I've found. For example, they started selling a bucket of 5 bottles for $11 (including tax), which is a pretty good deal, and works for me. So I can do that if I want. (Even though I had to give one of my beers away this past weekend, because I was just plain full. Bleh.) I don't give a shit that the new manager has new rules that suck. I DON'T WORK THERE! So it doesn't effect my life much, really. I just want the bartender friend to leave me the fuck out of it. But at this point, I don't know how to tell her that without royally pissing her off. The thing is, she's pushing me to the point where I don't care if I piss her off, really. I'm gonna tell her what I think soon, if she keeps it up, and that's that. I can be a very good friend...really, I can. But I'm also very straight-forward and honest, and if someone can't take it, I tend to think it's not really my problem, you know? It's something I'm working on...

Anywho...I need a sammich, so I'm gonna head out and get one. Hope everyone is having a drama-free Thursday thus far!

Answers to the questions...

Ok, so I only got a few questions yesterday in my post asking for suggestions of books, movies, and music (thanks for the suggestions!), and I'm a-gonna answer them now.

Melissa asked:
1. Where would you like to go on your next vacation?
I'd love to go to one of those all-inclusive beach resort thingies in Mexico, or someplace like that. But with the fam all in California, and activities happening there every few months to pull me home for a visit (dad's wedding, best friend's wedding, Christmas, now Coachella, etc...), I spend my vacation time on my visits home, mostly. It's cool, though, cuz the Twin and I are able to hang out lots, and we visit friends that we don't get to see very often, and we hit restaurants that I miss because we don't have them here in KC, and all that good stuff. So I love visiting home.

2. How fond are you of the vehicle that you drive?
Well, this isn't news to those folks that have been reading my blog for a little bit. So those of you who already know, just skip to the next question. Let me see if I can say this in the appropriate tone: I LOVE my car!!! It's a rather materialistic side of me that gets caught up in my baby, but my car is the best thing I've done for myself in the past 3 years. It's a black 2-door BMW 325 Ci, and it's perfect. Well, except that I failed to have them install heated seats when I had it built (that's was built FOR me, in Germany no less, which makes it just so much more special than anything else, I think...), but I deal with that by wearing a long coat in the winter time. It's a beauty, and I dig it more than anything else I own. I've had it for 2 years, and it just gets better and better every day I have it.

3. What is your favorite article of clothing?
Hm. My short jeans skirt that I bought at the Gap about 3.5 years ago. It's what I refer to as my "lucky skirt", and I feel cute in it no matter what, and it goes with loads of stuff, and it's the best skirt ever. Wintertime is my favorite time to wear it, with tights and sweaters and cute shoes. It's sort of a low-waist dealio that hits me mid-thigh (yeah, it's the shortest skirt I own, really...), and it's got a kind of a-line shape to it, so it's very flattering. I love it!

Fun questions. Thanks Melissa!

Lyn asked:
1. why kansas city?
Oh, Kansas City. I love this town. We have the small town feel with a little bit of sprawl, so it's easy to not feel closed in or to get bored easily. We have great restaurants, and people are lovely, and I can afford to live here, which is a big deal to me. I mean, I'd love to live in LA, for sure. But when I graduated from college, I couldn't find a job there for the life of me. Not even at the local Banana Republic in Pasadena. It was horrid. So I moved here, started working for my brother-in-law eventually (I had to start out working at Express on the Plaza, where I was promoted to manager within a month, and then I left them right before Christmas. Because I'm evil like that. :), and just settled into life in this town. I made friends quickly, and fell in love, and had great apartments that I loved living in...and in the Fall, we had lovely trees that changed to all sorts of beautiful colors, and then there was snow in the Winter, and when Spring came, it was the best feeling in the world. Summer is great, too, even if it does get a bit warm at times, but the cicadas make my day, and I love doing yard work on a warm summer day. It just feels like home here, for some reason.

2. the one thing that you always look for in a man physically
This is hard. The last few men that I've dated have really been all over the place, physically. I mean, I'm so, so, SOOOO physically attracted to Dickhead, it's scary. And he's on the shorter side, a bit chubbier than most men I date, has very short, red hair, and even his voice is soft and sort of higher than I like a guy's voice to be. So, it makes no sense. But if I had to pick something that instantly attracts me to a man, regardless of all other features that I see, it would be height. I've always been more attracted to taller men, and have tended to date guys that are taller than 6', for the most part. So that's it.

3. what's your take on cheating on your man or helping some guy cheat on his woman?
When I like a guy, I like him, and only him. I've found that ever since I snapped out of my bubble world (happened when I graduated from college and picked up my life and moved it to KC in 1996), when I'm with any certain guy, I don't really pay attention to other men around me. I mean, sure, I find them attractive, of course. Because I'm human, and I have hormones. But not to the point where I think to myself, "Holy crap! What am I doing with this guy, when that one looks perfectly single, and is he looking at me too? And how the hell can I give him my number without my man noticing?" It just doesn't happen. I have been on both sides of the cheating thing, though. Waaaayyy, wa-haaaay back in college, I was dating someone when another (very, very hot, oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-he's-interested-in-me type) guy started putting moves on me, and so I cheated at that point, and the guy happened to be cheating on his girlfriend as well, so that kind of killed two birds with one stone. But these days? I think it's dispicable. Not allowed. Just not a forgivable act, even. You're either with someone and you love them and you'll do anything to make it work, or you leave. End of story.

So there you go. Have any more suggestions/questions? Keep putting them in my post from yesterday, and I'll answer them as they come. This was fun!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Just a little bitty busy. Not with actual WORK, per se...

So. I was trolling through the Yahoo personals again yesterday, just to see if anyone new has popped up, which they have not, really, but I found Trey! You know, the guy that I sent a drink to at the Moose whom I've been eye-contacting for about 2 - 3 months now when we're there at the same time? So I asked the Twin and the co-worker their advice on whether I should drop him a quick note, and they both said, "Sure! Why not?" And I'm thinking of the whole let-the-guy-make-the-first-move thing that I've pretty much let fly out the window with Trey, which goes against what the recent self-help book told me should be done. But then again, Dave made the first move with me, and we all know how that ended up. *sigh.*

Anyway, so I write Trey a note last night ( as well as another guy that I just wanted to tell I thought was cute, because he is, and I'm not his type of girl, but whatever...he's adorable, and I figured it'd be nice to hear that from people, even if I wasn't interested in dating them), and basically just say hey, and tell him that this might give us the opportunity to get to know each other outside of the bar we know and love, and if he wants to we can e-mail some, or I can pretend like I never saw his profile at all. So he writes me back today and gives me his e-mail address. And tells me I should feel free to write him.

So here I am, again with the fucking ball in my goddam court. But didn't I kind of play the game to start that way? So how do I "play" it from here? That book has me totally confused about what to do. But this is my life, right? I can't live it according to how a book tells me I should, can I?

So, should I:
(a) Write him back tonight, asking him a few questions about himself, and describing myself a bit more in-depth, as I usually would with any other online interest I find? Or
(b) Wait to write him back tomorrow in the middle of the day, just to say hi, and tell him that I'll be at the Moose tomorrow night for $1.50 beer night? Or
(c) Wait to write to him on Saturday afternoon, essentially with the same shit I said I would do in answer "a"? OR
(d) None of the above; you have your own suggestion for me, and you'll put it in my comments...

Just some silly fun...

Found this at Lyn's. Of course. :) Take a couple of's actually fun to do, I think. (I found it really hard to choose a movie and musical artist/album to recommend, but that's because it's Lyn's I was answering, and when it comes to music, especially, I'm sure she's heard of everything and everyone, so how can I possibly recommend something to her? I tried...)

I want your recommendations (and why if you feel so inclined) for the following:

1. A movie;
2. A book;
3. A musical artist, song or album;


Ask me three questions, anything you want to know. I, of course, reserve the right to ignore any questions I don’t really want to answer.


Copy and paste this into your blog, if you have one.

Have fun with it! I'll answer just about any question, I'm sure...

I thought LAST year was busy...

So far, this year has been full of constant moving, moving, moving. Between trying to figure out what the hell was going on inside of Dave's head, and then finding out that Dickhead was moving, and work issues, I haven't had much time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

Mine and the Twin's birthday is coming up next week, and I haven't had much of a chance to plan for or to think about it. Last year was our 30th, and the Twin came to town to celebrate it with me and a bunch of my friends that I hung out with at that time. Since then, those friends and I have grown apart, and I have new friends that I spend time with. They actually are better friends, I've found. Which is nice. My friend Melinda called me last night to see what was going on, and we chatted about when we would be getting together next (Thursday), and what we're going to do for SuperBowl (dammit, we're just going to the Moose. Because it's easiest! And we like it there...), and the fact that this will be my official "celebrate my birthday" weekend. I just asked for Monday off so I can have a great time on Sunday while watching the game/hanging out, and not worry about having to get up and go to work the next day. I think I might make a manicure/pedicure appointment for that day. But I really might just want to lay around all day and do nothing. It doesn't matter. At this point, I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have a hair appointment Friday night, so I'll look beyootiful in all my 31st birthday pictures that I take, and I'm going shopping tonight to see if I can find a new top/dress to wear that'll be fun. The KU game is on at 11 a.m. on Saturday, which means I'll start drinking at 11 a.m. on Saturday, which is always a good time. :) Actually, I'm rather poor right now, so I'll be keeping the eating/drinking out to as much of a minimum as possible. Splitting the beers I drink up by having Diet Coke/water in between, and not eating at the Moose, etc...I have earned $80 in "coupons" for the KC Hopps restaurants (of which the Moose is one) via the points I've earned over the past few months on their rewards program, so I could cash in my points and have $80 for the weekend to spend there. But the more you let build up, the more you can cash in for later on. I think I might have enough to get $100 by the end of March, which would be cool. We'll see. Dave cashed in 2500 points recently and received something like $700 in coupons, and he owes me, so maybe I can convince him to spend some on me. It'll be tricky, though...

And I don't know why I'm so poor all of a sudden, either! I think it's because I used to put just $40 from each paycheck into my savings every pay period, and then I realized that it wasn't even 4% of my take-home pay that I was putting away, and as a responsible grown up, I need to be putting away at least 10% of my pay every time I get paid, so I upped the amount I put into savings to $110 ever paycheck, and that pretty much wiped me out at the beginning of this month. Also, my natural gas bill at home went from a reasonable $45 for the month of October to a freaking INSANE amount of $125 for the month of November, and December just got worse. I can only imagine what January will look like. I'm so excited. :P Fortunately, they send the bill early enough in the month that I'm able to split up my payments. So for January's bill, I'll pay half of it on the 15th this month, and the rest on the 28th. Because I'm a responsible and resourceful mutha-fucka like that.

But I'll get through it. Getting past the inital shock of having money right after Christmas (because dad gives us cash for our present every year) is always hard. This was the first year I was able to put a good amount of it away, and if I have to chip into it to pay for my Coachella trip (because DAYUM, I am hitting that, baby!!), or to pay for the mirror replacement on my car, so be it. I don't mind. I'm really proud of the fact that I have a cushion to fall back on, finally, that isn't just a little more than $1,000. And it grows exponentially every month with the amount I put in from my paychecks now, so that's a nice feeling.

I still wish there were more of it, though. Oh well. Someday, I'll have everything I want and more, I'm sure. Right now, I need to figure out what I need to do to get it, and then do just that. Such exciting times, these early 30's, eh?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 know, :P:P:P:P:P:P

I've determined that my brain really wants me to be fat right now. Fat as can be. Why else would I ingest as much ranch dressing as possible, french fries galore, and burgers up the yin-yang like I have been lately? I mean, come on! And then my body does the hook-up with the brain, and has me come down with a super-fun cold, so exercise is right out at this point in time. I love it. My body and brain are conspiring against themselves. Maybe I'll have a stroke and a heart attack at the same time if I up my estrogen intake (via birth control pills, of course), and start smoking 2 packs a day. Hmm...

Thing is, I want to work out. Really badly. But the nostrils aren't working, and the energy level and brain function is such that if I allowed myself to get on the tread, I'd probably be thrown off into the wall behind it 20 times before I realized (in my DayQuil Sinus haze), "Heh. Maybe I can't keep up with a 2.8 pace on a 6% incline right now..." The weather is supposed to be ok for the next couple of days. Maybe I can at least get out for a walk on a normal street for a bit tonight and tomorrow. Although, the runny nose in the cold air thing can be a bitch and a half. Perhaps I can just walk slowly on the tread while it's flat, and that'll be ok. I'll give that a try tonight.

It's just so frustrating being sick and having PMS at the same time. I tell myself I'm a fatty one second, and then make all the excuses why it must be so the next. I sleep fabulously one night, and the next night, I wake up every hour feeling like I'm wide awake, and need to get moving. When my co-worker asked me this morning if I was still sick (after I'd croaked out a low "hi" when she asked if I was here), I snapped back at her, "No, I miraculously healed completely overnight," in my croaky, stuffed-up head voice. She turned around and walked out of the room. I feel bad, but it's really rather annoying when you sound as I do, and people on the phone/in person ask me if I'm sick. Really? Really?? What, do I sound like this every day? Jees...

Again, though, the PMS is in high form this month. I didn't break out, which is a sign to me that attitude is going to be where it rears it's ugly head, so I was forewarned, really. (I usually either get zits and the temper doesn't flare, OR I get really, really bitchy and pissy and my skin stays clear. Weird, eh?) I just failed to forewarn the others around me. But then again, I only just noticed it last night, so I really didn't have a chance to warn anyone. And it's not my fault that the first thing my co-worker did was ask me (in my bitchy, pissy opinion, mind you) a stupid question. But hey, them's the breaks.

I'm exhausted from all this typing now. Better run.