Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A whole new batch of fun...

So I got roped into another month of Yahoo Personals. (Basically I was roped in by my stupidity...I didn't unsubscribe before it auto-charged me for another month, dammit...) And so I'm taking advantage of it, trolling about for new men, seeing if I can find a decent date to go out on in the next million years. And I have been chatting with a very nice guy for about 2 weeks now...seems relatively smart, definitely funny, no kids, my age, cute, etc, etc...and that's a good thing. But my profile is still active, and I'm still receiving communiation from other men who are interested. Which is nice.

But the problem is, they seem to have grown up in the part of the world where they don't teach grammar or spelling skills. Or logical thought process. This one gentleman sent me a note that said "I'am a blah blah, with a blah blah...I'am interested in hearing back from you..."

Um, wha?

Ok, first of all, it's either "I am" or "I'm". There's no such word as "I'am". And then I looked at his profile, and he's got the conjunction totally fucked up all through that thing. So I wrote him a nice note back thanking him for his interest, and telling him that I'm really not into dating guys who have kids that live at home at all, and then I said I didn't want to be rude, but rather just wanted to help him as much as I could, and I told him about the "I'am" not being a word thing.

And that's the other thing that happened. Suddenly I'm getting contacted by men who have children, either at home part of the time, or they actually live with their dads. I state specifically that I'm not interested in dating men with kids in my profile. But these guys don't even acknowledge that sort of stuff. (When I initiate communication with a guy I'm interested in, I at least make a comment to them that I know their profile states a desire for a girl with a body type that I don't fit into, and tell them that "I know I don't fit the body type you're interested in, but..." Most guys I've contacted in that respect have then changed their body-type preferences to include "voluptuous" or "a few extra pounds" in their profile...which is very smart of them, I think.) Which means they aren't reading my profile thoroughly, which is maddening.

So the moral of the day is that if you are an internet dater, like myself, you might want to make sure your profile doesn't have spelling errors, or grammar issues, and for gosh sakes, read the profiles of the people you want to contact! What if they smoke 3 packs a day and you have asthma? What if they have 4 cats, and you're allergic? Don't just respond to a picture, fellas. Sheesh!

Monday, May 30, 2005

C'mon, honey...I'll show you my grill.

A Memorial Day marathon on Food Network of "Boy Meets Grill" is on all day long today.

5 or more hours of Bobby Flay? Are you kidding me? The only thing that could make it more perfect is if I had a meatball sub and a giant Diet Coke right now. He is my dream man, I think. Knows how to grill, not afraid of spicy food or cilantro, wonderful NY accent, cute little ass...mm-mmm!

Too bad he only goes for the model-types, eh? He needs a woman who can actually eat the food he makes, and enjoy it! Bobby! I'm your girl, honey...look me up when you're in KC, and I'll show you what a real woman could do to fire up your life. Yeehaw!

Ok. I'd better get out of the house. Food Network should never, ever make you horny. Sheesh!

**Update: went to the Moose for a couple of beers to finish off my weekend properly. (Of course, that's the official end to the weekend, as now that I'm home, I realize I have a messy house, and I want to clean it up. Bleh. Cleaning.) I had an odd dream last night, is the thing. Dave was in it. And we were back to normal. I've been thinking for the last month that I want things to be back to normal with us. By the time Fall comes around, I want to be able to watch football and have a good time with it, and not have folks worry about where we can go, and all that, because of the "fued" that's been happening between Dave and I. Shit, we're like Ross and Rachel, it seems! I want that to stop. I didn't know how it could, though. So the fact that he said hello the other night must've opened up something in my subconscious. And the dream happens. And all day today I'm thinking about how I can make the fued stop. IF I can make it stop.

So I go to the Moose, and Dave is there, of course. And I sit down a bit closer than I have been when we've been in there at the same time the last couple of times we've been in there. And he says hello right away. I said hello back. I was still getting settled and he said he liked my hair. (It's red now, as we all know...) I looked him in the eye and said thank you. He's obviously been wanting to make up, is what I discern. Wishful thinking? Eh, maybe. Anyway, I sit down, and he's still talking to the old lady that comes in every day, as she's next to him, and everything. And then she left, and he and I fell into conversation. As normal as can be. He even told a bad joke. I asked him if he knows anything about chipmunks, and whether they're bad for the yard. (My yard is overrun by the little suckers this year, it seems...) He doesn't know. For some reason, we start talking about the old oak stump I have that's next to my deck, and keeps growing, and has vines that seem to grow obnoxiously fast off of it, and how I have to trim it back every month in the summertime. And he puts up his hand. I ask him if he knows what I'm talking about then...and he says he's the king of removing old stumps.

Net/net, Dave is going to kill my stump sometime over the next couple of days, it seems. He has some magical stuff that he uses. I'm not against him helping. Hell if he doesn't owe me, and I see this as his way of trying to make up for all the stuff that's happened. (I mean, I did buy him an enormously expensive bottle of scotch to apologize for my initial infraction oh so many months ago...the time when I was talking about him to our friend Bill, and all. I'd go back and link to the posts about it all, but I'm not in the mood, really...if you don't know what I'm talking about, and you want to know, go look at the month of February and March archives. I think it's all in there...)

So my dream did seem to have some sort of validity. And I'm glad. Because it's been a few weeks now that I've been wishing that we didn't have the distance between us, really. But I wasn't going to apologize for something I didn't do! And I didn't think he'd ever own up to the fact that he was being a big pain in the ass. So I didn't see how it was ever going to end. But I wanted it to end, and I'm glad it seems to be on the mend.

Thank God.

It's not so much for the friendship I had with him, I don't think. Yes, he's still a strikingly handsome man, and yes, it will probably take a while for me to forget about the niceness we had. When we had it. But moreso for the interlinking of all the other people involved. I don't want it to be uncomfy for them. And I was awfully tired of pretending like he and I had never met. It's harder to do than anyone thinks. It was harder for me to do, anyway. And apparently, it was hard for him, too.

Now I must clean my guest bedroom, as it's turned into a shithole, and needs to be presentable again. Buhbye...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Is it Sunday already?

I'm tired. I killed about 25 cigarettes last night, and stayed out waaaaay too late (how the FUCK did I not know it was 1:30 a.m.?) talking with the new friends I'd met at the Moose a couple of weeks ago. They were nice...but they don't want to smoke too much (I, on the other hand, thinks it's a wonderfully nasty habit that I won't be kicking very soon...), so they were willingly sharing their box of Camels, and they kept saying, "One more round?" And they were buying me the drinks, for some reason. Which was very sweet of them. I owe them a few, I think.

Somehow we wound up sitting and talking for over 2 hours. Crazy.

I put up new shutters on the house yesterday afternoon with the help of an old friend I hadn't seen in a little while. When we were done with that project (thank GOD he was able to help!), we went and had dinner at the Moose. Dave the Fucktard was out on the porch, which made it much easier to ignore him. About an hour after we got there, my other friends showed up, and went out to sit on the porch with Fucktard. My friend and I played a bowling game (has anyone seen these things? It's like a Golden Tee machine, but it's a bowling game instead...soooo much easier than Golden Tee! And fun to play!), and I got the highest score I've ever gotten, which was great, but the friend still beat me, somehow. Dammit. :)

Then I went to take him back to my house so he could go meet up with a couple of his guy friends for the evening, and I went back to the Moose to hang out and catch up with my other friends, as I hadn't seen them in a long while. When the friend and I were leaving the Moose, I went over to where they were all sitting on the porch to ask if they would be sticking around. Fucktard actually turned around and said hello, for some reason. I was civil, and I said a very quick "hi", and then directed my attention to my other friends that I actually like and we settled on the fact that they'd definitely be there when I got back. Fucktard had left by the time I drove back up to the bar, so that was a good thing.

It was a good day, but I'm hurting today...Good thing that I can just lay around, nap, watch some t.v., and not worry about it. I want to hang up my new house numbers, though. I think I should be at a proper drill handling stage by the time 4 p.m. rolls around. We'll see.

Oh Lord, I am glad I don't have to work tomorrow. I'd throw a little dance party over that fact if I could just get my ass to move. ;)

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Friday, May 27, 2005

It's Friday...and I've got nothing else to say.

Well, not exactly nothing else, but you know what I mean. I'm looking forward to a 3-day weekend at this point, is the deal.

Too bad it kicks off with a funeral in the morning. This accident happened to kill the sister of a fabu coworker of mine. Sometimes, you just have to reach out and lend support to someone, even though they have 9 other brothers and sisters to be there with them, as well as probably an entire city that knew and loved this woman for some reason or another. If it were me, I know I'd appreciate my coworkers coming to the funeral mass. (I tend to not go to the burial at funerals for coworkers' family members, though...Unless I know the entire family for a long ass time, that just seems a bit intrusive to me.) I won't say which sister is my coworker, as that would give a bit too much info away about myself, but I can say that she is a kick ass chick, and this just sucks. Sucks, sucks, SUCKS! Say some prayers for this poor family, will you? They just lost a niece about 3 months ago, too. A young one. They so do not deserve this sort of shit...

And that's all I have, really. I'm looking forward to a weekend of sleeping in, working on the house, and Memorial Day marathons on t.v. Because I'm just that cool, yo.

Hope everyone has a fun one, though!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

These things almost make me smile...

This day is a little bit wonky for me.I had to go through a bunch of expense reports for folks, and had to deny a few back because they were completely fucked, and had to ask for more info on others, and it's just bugging me because it's almost the easiest, most clear-cut thing that you can do at this company. I mean, there are drop down menus to choose from. It almost fills itself out for you, it's so easy. Tedious and time-consuming, but easy. So the super-duper fucked up ones that I got today? Totally not acceptable in my book. It's just made it ultra-clear how badly some people do not want to be in the jobs they are in right now, is all. And you know what? If you don't want to be here, that's fine. Of all people, we know I respect that. But don't fucking slack off and do a piss-poor job while you continue to stick around. That just pisses me off. I hate someone with a shitty work ethic.

The last couple of weeks, looking out my office window on a clear, sunny, 75 degree day, I've noticed these little blowy things that float by every now and then. Last week, there were quite a few of them. Today, there are only one or two now and then. But when I see them, they look like snowflakes to me. And it's really fucking with my brain. (In a good way, of course...)

I have a truly miraculously wonderful alarm clock that I bought about 4 years ago, and love to death. It has two alarm settings on it, and they automatically re-set themselves (i.e. I don't have to make sure they're on tonight...they are already on and waiting to go off for me in the morning tomorrow unless I turn them off specially). I woke up this morning with my first alarm at 5 a.m. and then 3 minutes later, I woke up again and it was 5:35! AUGH! Of course, more than 3 minutes had passed, but that's what it felt like in my head, for some reason. Usually, I don't remember that sort of thing happening. If I miss my first alarm, I wake up with the second one and feel very confused, because I can't figure out what happened to the first one. But this morning, I remembered waking up at 5 a.m. and knowing that I needed to get out of bed to put my contacts into their solution so I could put them in my eyes 40 minutes later. I was so asleep though, that I just fell right back into where I was before the alarm went off, and then when it went off again, I was all, "But I didn't hit the snooze!" And that's when I realized that I hadn't hit the snooze, but I just as well have. If I don't get up and put the contacts into solution at 5, then I can't put the contacts in at 5:40, and then I can't work out as I need to. So I just re-set the second alarm for 6:15, and went back to sleep, telling myself that I'll just work out tonight instead.

And I will, dammit. I swear. (I did not eat the yummy taco salad today, so I must be on the right track to working out, eh? I feel sooooo very fat this week that I can't skip the day all together. I'll just get pissed at myself later, and I hate it when I get pissed at myself.)

Alright...it's just about time to leave, and I still need to make travel reservations for the boss for next week. It's all so very exciting that I just might pee myself...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Oh, the HORROR!!

I do love me a good horrorscope every now and then. Check out this "Daily Couple's Love" horoscope offering from Astrology.com for Aquarians today:

By the time a space probe gets to Jupiter, it's gone pretty far. By the time it makes it out to Uranus, it's even farther! You're probing your emotional space today. And you'll go further than you think.

Man. That is just...sick.

Um, I won't be "probing" anything today, thankyouverymuch. I am on the verge of getting my P, and not even in the remotest "probing" mood. I am, however, very bloated, irritable, and self-depreciative today. So I would highly suggest that the probing keep it's distance, or it's going to lose an eye.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Bonjour Paris!!!

I just realized that it was about this time, several, several years ago, when I was sitting in my apartment in Paris, freaking out about finals, and dreaming of the trip home to California. I couldn't wait to be done there and to go home. In my defense, I did have a boyfriend back in Cali that I loved and missed very much at the time, and I'd never lived that far away from home ever, and I had an insane roommate (I'll have to tell y'all about her some time...she really was a piece of work) that I didn't want to live with for even one more day. And in the last week or so of May, I had about 20 more hours of class (including finals) to deal with, and then two days to wrap things up and to prepare for the trip home during the first week of June.

But I was living in Paris. And I was actually sad a good amount of the time I was there.

Um, pardon? What the fuck was wrong with me? Can I have a do-over? Who can I pray to for a do-over? Is there a patron saint of do-overs? There should be, dammit. I'm gonna write to the Vatican immediately to make that suggestion...

My fave composition that I put together while I was there was one based on what I would do if I had 5 million dollars to spend...here's what I said I'd do:

Si je gagnois cinq million des dollars, premier, j'acheterais une petite maison a cote de la mer. En puis, je payais pour mon education, et aussie, je metterais de l'argent dans le banque pour ma degree graduate. (Ha! I was planning on getting a graduate degree when I was 20! I didn't remember that at all...) Ensuit, je donnerais de l'argent a ma famille, si ils en ont besoin. (If they want? Ok, someone in your family wins 5 million dollars, and they offer you some of the money...do you turn them down? Why did I add that part to the sentence? Wishful thinking? "Here...d'ya want some money? I have some I can give you...if you want it. If not, then that's ok, too." Yeah, people are gonna turn that down. Mm-hmm...) Aussie, je servais donne l'argent a le foundation de diabetes, parce que ma jameau a diabetes. En puis, je voudrais un profession de chantur, et si j'avais cinq million des dollars, je pourais a chanter tout le temp! Je supposserais je voyagerais beaucoup. Je voudrais aller au Italy, au Carribean, at Ireland. Mais, attend! Ca n'est pas tout! (Jeezy, I was ambitious with my $5 mill!) En puis, je metterais l'argent dans le stock-marche. Finalement, je metterais l'argent dans un account pour ma retirement. C'est tout! Tout de l'argent est disparu maintenant!

The money was gone, indeed. I don't know why I thought that after all that fun, I'd still have any to even put into a bank account for retirement! I think I must've lost my mind while I was in France. Sorry if any of that seemed butchered...I can't do any of the accents that should be on the words. Not that many folks can read that anyway. It's probably easy to make out some of it here and there..."voyagerais" = travel. "Profession de chantur" = wanted to be a singer by profession. "Stock-marche" = um, der. If you don't know that, then you probably shouldn't ever go to Germany where the words "hot" and "cold" could confuse you.

Anyway, I got a C- in both of my classes that I took when I was in France. Because my teacher was a French prick. But that's all behind me now! Next time I go (and I will go again, I assure you), I will be there for me, and not for school. Now that'll be a good time. :)

One year, 273 posts, one mental breakdown after another later...

Today is my 1 year anniversary of when I started blogging. Back then, I was in a troubled relationship, work was easier than it is now but still sucked a great deal, and my family was a great big mess.

You would think things would change a bit more than they have in a whole year. But the only big difference now compared to back then is that I'm no longer in a troubled relationship.

I'm not going to dwell on it too much. I would have liked to have seen more change in myself than just the size of my hips and boobs, but there's not much I can do about it. Right now, I'm quite satisfied that I've gotten to a point where I'm comfortable telling people that try to walk all over me that they can take their shit elsewhere. That's something I don't think I was so good at doing last year. I know it might seem like it has nothing to do with this blog, but I think it does. I feel like my invisible little support system of new friends has been instrumental in my newfound ability to express things as openly as I do now. Those that have known me for a long while might be thinking, "Yeah...you didn't have too much trouble expressing yourself before, Faith." But it's different. The fact that I told that nasty guy I went out on one date with just what I thought of him directly after I got home from said date. The way I finally wrote Dave the Fuckwit off a couple of months ago when I'd finally tired of his tomfoolery and yelling fits. My ability to call family members out on their bullshit, reminding them that it's not going to work to try to push a guilt button that I don't fucking have. Little things like that. I love being able to come out here, tell everyone all about it, and see the response (or lack thereof, in some cases) I get about it.

So keep it up, will ya?

Hopefully, this blog has brought the majority of visitors a laugh or two, hasn't been too boring overall, and has entertained in some way or another throughout the last year. I'll try to keep doing my best job to be more snarky than plain ol' whiny as I continue on with my blogging. I promise.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Need some help...

Anyone know what happened to Alli's 63 Days blog? I checked out her other blog as well, and it seems something funky is going on there, too. Spill it, if you know...

Gracias mucho...

Weekend re-cap

Saturday: yard work. LOTS of yard work. Never did get to mow the back lawn, but the front lawn was done, as well as some pruning of bushes that desperately needed the attention. The new windows were put in, and I'm very happy with them.

My arms are dead still today from all the pruning I caught up on, all at once. Turns out, doing all the bushes in the front yard in one day was not so good of an idea. Oh well...

Saturday night: so exhausted from the hot day of yard work that I rolled over to the local liquor store and bought beer...I wasn't even able to go to the Moose, I was so tired. That's just fucked up.

Sunday morning: went to see John Edward. He rocks. That is all. (Oh, he did answer a question I had about the faces I see when I close my eyes at night sometimes. This is a hard thing to explain, but basically, it's like when you stare at a light, and then close your eyes, and you can still see the outline of the light that you'd been staring at, because it fucks with your retinas, or something? The faces I see are like that. I don't recognize them, and I don't know why they're there. Sometimes, when I start to see them, I open my eyes, and I can still see them. Of course, this all happens in a dark room just before I fall asleep, so when I open my eyes, it's just as dark as it is when I have them shut. Anyway, the faces aren't scary, but they do scare me, if that makes any sense. And just when I start to get a bit freaked out by them, they start to look less friendly, and actually become scary images. So I asked him what that was all about. He said they're my "guides". I don't know what to do with that, so I need to look up some info on it. I asked him about the scary ones, and he asked me if they only start to get scary after I start getting scared. I said yes. So he said it's my mind doing it. Making them scary all of a sudden, I mean. It was interesting, and very helpful to me.)

Sunday afternoon: went to friend's graduation party in Lawrence, KS. Had a fucking BLAST, in spite of the heat (it was only 83 degrees, my car said, but it felt like an oven on the deck we were on...), and drove home rather late looking forward to having a sandwich, watching some t.v. (even though I'm an IDIOT and forgot to set up to record the finale of "Grey's Anatomy" that was on...dammit...), and hitting the sheets. Instead, I got home, found a HUGE fucking roach on my kitchen counter (where do they come from? Where??), and had to scream a little (i.e. A LOOOOT), then called the twin to scream a bit more, and then got out the vacuum...I need to buy some roach stuff today at the market, it would seem. I don't have a dirty house, so I have no idea where that mutherfucker came from. Gross, gross, GROSS!!

And that's what happened this weekend. I'm exhausted, and can't wait until I get to go to bed tonight. I'm really, really, really looking forward to it.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Death, death, death, death...lunch. Death, death...quick shower...

Yes, Pul Pot may have killed 1.7 million Cambodians, but this weekend, I will kill over 3 million cigarettes and 30 tons of beer single handedly. Now that is talent, my friends...

Just a quick post to finish off my lunch "hour", and then back to work it is. The Twin is right...I spoke to my boss this morning, explained that I had a melt down on Wednesday (he wasn't in the office, so he didn't see it happening), and have been mulling it over for the past 2 days. I told him openly that I'm unhappy, I feel like I'm having an identity crisis, and that I'm not sure that money can necessarily fix this unhappiness. (Although it's not like I'm giving up on the fact that I'd like to be bonused, or that I'm saying suddenly that I don't mind that my raise sucked donkey ass this year...) He and I talked it all over, and I made sure that he knows that even though I'm going through this random spot, unsure of what's going to happen next, it will NOT effect the quality of the work I do. My work ethic is stronger than anything else in my life. When I was laid off of the last job I was at, I asked if I could finish the work I was in the middle of, and then leave my key in the office when I left on Sunday (I was released on a Friday afternoon, and it was going to take me through the better part of Sunday to finish my project...), and my bosses at the time really appreciated that request on my part. Mind you, my bro-in-law was the COO and President of the company I worked for, and I'd never want to let him down, even if he did have to fire me, and couldn't warn me about it. But it was the fact that I was in the middle of something. Something they needed, and no one else could complete it...that was what made me want to stick around and help. I'm a sick fuck like that, though.

New Boss appreciated the plight I'm in, and he told me to just be sure to keep communicating with him, and he also said that he's going to continue to work on the bonus thing. He, of course, cannot fix the fact that much of my dissatisfaction with my job is currently based on the inability of major departments in the company to function well or efficiently. No one can fix it, it seems. Although, I do have some ripe suggestions about how they might start to improve their departments...for example, hiring literate individuals. That would be a BIG help, I'd bet.

For now, I have a mortgage to pay, and new windows to pay for, and bottles of vodka that are being charged to a credit card that I have to pay off eventually. The job is a necessary evil, of course. I need to find little happy things in it here and there, and count on the fact that I will be finding the things that make me happiest in my life (my mini-rose bush blooming, for instance...or the fact that it's FRIDAY, dammit!) outside of the office for a while. I think the new windows will make me excessively happy (I know, I know...don't make too much fun of me for being a dork), and then I get to see John Edward on Sunday, which will be nice. A friend is having a graduation party on Sunday that I'm going to, so that's something to look forward to after John Edward is over...

I'm good for at least 3 days, I think. I'll report back regularly, though...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wow...this hole is DEEP!

Ever feel like you've fallen into a big, black hole, and you resign yourself to it, and then wanna curl up and stay there for a week or so? Yeah...I tumbled into that today.

Work sucks. I want out. As work is My Life, this feeling is all-encompasing, and makes me want to cash in my savings, run away to South Africa, and check myself into a mental facility. (But I'm NOT crazy, y'all...I swear. I'll just be visiting friends while I'm there, honest. (Unfortunately, no $50 mill deal was a precursor to my desire to run away...that would be sweet!))

I don't know how to get away from this feeling. Finding another job that's similar to the one I do won't help in the long run. I'm tired of being the Answer Girl, and the One Who Can Do It All. I've taken on a LOT of new responsibilities, and my pay raise does NOT reflect that fact. I've asked for a bonus, and I'm told that it's being worked on and discussed, but I really, really doubt that's true. I want to go in the office tomorrow and tell everyone that I'm taking a leave of absence (hell if I'm gonna quit, yo - they can fire me, but I am NOT going to quit), and then walk back out again to get my ducks in a row.

I'm the one that needs to enforce policies and procedures, and I'm consistently ignored when it comes to my reminders and my requests for help in enforcing them. These are grown people I'm working with, and even though I ask them to save receipts that are for purchases higher than $100, and to follow a certain (very simple!) procedure when it comes to hiring processes, it's forgotten after a couple of weeks or a month has passed by. When other departments in the company can't handle the way that people are ignoring policy and procedure, they rely on my boss to enforce the rules. But what that really means is that I'M relied on to enforce the rules. And I get ignored by 85% of our team.

I'm tired. I'm just sooo, so tired of it. Because it's beyond unfair. (Shut up mom's voice, telling me that "life isn't fair...") I make crap money to change peoples' diapers on a daily basis. (Because I suddenly have become aware that it's gone wa-haaaay beyond the hand-holding it used to be, and now I'm actually consistently dealing with all their shit.) And at this juncture, I'm not sure if additional money would help much.

I need to get out. I don't know how. I think this weekend will involve lots, and lots of drinking. But that remains to be seen...

Never grew out of it...

Does it seem strange that I, a complete grown-up, want to say "I told you so!" to a coworker of mine? I so, soooo wish I could. But I can't. So I won't. Dammit.

Maybe that's what makes me a grown-up, though. I mean, it's probably normal to want to say it, but it's the ability to recognize the need to remain professional that makes me better than the 6 year old that resides inside my brain somewhere, apparently.

But man, I soooo told him so! Ahahahahahahahaha!!

Thank God for this outlet for crap like that. Because I really needed to get that off my chest, or I might've found myself calling him in a couple of days to yell it in his ear, followed by me raspberrying into the phone at him, laughing heartily, and then hanging up. That wouldn't be good...

But then again, I wasn't really bratty to my friends even when I was little. (Twin, you don't count...) I so admire those kids that grew up not caring what other people thought, and were able to assert themselves in every situation, and had the ability to say, in the loudest tone, and perhaps in a sing-song voice, that they "told us so" when they were proven right. Kids I went to school with that were able to do that are probably executives in this world somewhere by now.

And that's all I got on this subject. I can't keep sitting here thinking about it, or I will call the guy to laugh at him...(because I do feel pretty darned good about my percetiveness in this case. Most definitely...)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

And the beat goes on...

The proverbial batton was passed on to me on this meme from Lyn. And so I shall answer it, because Lyn kicks ass. :)

Total Volume Of Music On My Hard Drive: I don't have any music on my computer, either at work or at home. (Work doesn't allow a dowload, because they are Nazis, and home doesn't allow it because it would cause my ancient computer system to implode, surely...)

Last CD bought: Tiga - "DJ Kicks" and Coldplay - "A Rush of Blood to the Head" (needed to replace the first one I bought that mysteriously disappeared...I have the jewel case, but the cd is GONE!) I bought both those cd's when I was at Coachella, so I can't really say which one I bought last, since I'm not sure which one was rung in first...

Song Playing Right Now: It's perfectly silent in my office. Well, except for coworker suddenly behaving very strangely. (I wonder if she had too much sugar again...) But if I did have noise, I'd be listening to the crappy alternative radio station in the background, where they would likely be playing one of 3 things: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys, or maybe something by 311. Because it's a crappy alternative station. The crappiest of crappy...

5 Songs I Listen To Alot:
1. Muse - "Time is Running Out"
2. Jem - "Save Me"
3. The Smiths - "How Soon is Now"
4. Ivy - "Get Out of the City"
5. Muse - "Apocalypse Please" (Yes, I listen to a lot of Muse...I love Muse. They make my day.)

5 People I’m Passing Baton To:
Oh, Jeezy. Do 5 people even read this blog? Let's see if these folks do:
Ms. Pants

Just checkin' to see if you guys are still reading me, or if I've bored the complete snot out of you by now, and you've moved on to happier bloggy pastures...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Ok, so now that I have more time...

It was a difficult day to get through, but it's almost over, so I can relax. I'm taking a break from the 3 HOURS of Bachelor that's on tonight, and talking about the interesting conversation I had with some people I met at the bar the other night...

About halfway through the Miami game that was on, a couple came in and sat down a seat away from me at the bar. We started talking, and pretty soon, it was like we were old friends. (This happens regularly to me at the Moose. I feel very comfy there, since so many people that work there know me as well as they do, and I guess the beer helps loosen people up a bit, too. :) So I was talking to this couple about shoes, and shopping, and family, and being single...we ran the gamut, really. But we wound up focussing on two things: his sisters that are currently fighting, and the fact that I have been single as long as I have been.

With regards to the being single thing, the guy asked me at one point (after LOTS and lots of talking) why it is that I want to be in a relationship/look forward to getting married someday. I seriously couldn't answer that question. I love sex, of course, especially when it's with someone that I really care about a lot, and can focus all of my energy on, relationshipwise. I've proven quite well that I can live on my own, and take pretty good care of myself, so the addition of another person in the household would be a real treat, but it's not necessary by any means. Companionship is really the key, overall. But I've learned to be so happy living a solitary lifestyle, that it's hard for me to know what to do when a man shows any interest. In fact, I've come to realize that it's my ability to deal with the solitude that makes me spaz like I do when I find someone who wants to attempt a relationship. I go overboard, and want to spend lots of time with them in the beginning, and then, if they manage to stick around long enough, they will eventually come to see the other side of me, which is a girl who really needs her space. Anyway, it was an intersting question he asked. I still have a lot of pondering to do on that one.

For some reason, we were also talking about family. I remember bringing up the distance I keep from everyone in my family, and how the Twin and I are close as we are right now. This guy has a rather large family as well, and apparently, his younger sister and his oldest sister are fighting right now. I could see, even through the drunken haze, that it really bothered this guy to think about it, and it was clearer than a bell that he was wishing he could do something to fix it. I told him about the situation in my family...that the age difference has caused some space to develop at different times throughout the course of the years. When I was in junior high, I looked up to my older sisters and wanted to be like them in every way. As I grew older, I became more and more independent, and realized my limitations, and got to know them in other ways, still admiring them for the situations they were in and for the fun we were able to have together, but starting to recognize how very different we all were. I told this guy that families all go through evolutions and developments that will be tough to get through. He just kept saying that he couldn't stand to see them hurting. I went to the bathroom at one point...the couple was getting ready to head out for the night, and I was still thinking about how upset this guy seemed. His wife had grown quiet during our discussion, not being able to say much, even though the issues that her sisters-in-law had with each other was clearly affecting her as well. when I got back to the bar, I said to the guy, "Mike, I just want to say one more thing about this, and then we should let it go." He asked me what it was. "You can't fix what's wrong between your sisters. You need to love them each separately, like you do naturally, and not get in the middle of whatever it is that's going on with them. They need to work it out on their own. It needs to take it's course and be worked out between them." Mike looked thoughtful, and then nodded slowly as he looked back at me. I continued, "Just remember that whatever is going on between them, it's nothing you need to worry about. You love the younger one, and you love the older one, and that's all that matters in your life. Well, besides the fact that you have as many pairs of shoes as your wife, but that's a different point all together..." Mike admitted that he hadn't thought about it that way, and thanked me for my insight. I only hope that the moment of clarity he felt come over him about the situation stuck with him after the buzz wore off.

I've been a sister for a long time now. I've learned a lot from watching other siblings fight, and from watching other siblings make up. Being a twin, I've experienced the funky phenomenon of fighting like cats and dogs one minute, and then laughing like the oldest of girlfriends the next. And that's not an exaggeration. All throughout life, when we've been in the midst of a fight, the worst thing that could happen was for someone else to try to butt in and make it stop. What happened then, you ask? Well, suddenly two girls who were mad at each other for God knows what are now mad at you, and since they weren't able to work out their issue properly, they have pent up anger and frustration that they need to let out, and guess what? Yep...the person that did the interrupting is suddenly the bearer of the Twin Wrath. So I wouldn't ever recommend getting in the middle to anyone. The Twin and I might be unique in that respect...the fact that we can change direction like that mid-fight. I also found that I could be in the most foul mood because of my twin, but the moment someone said even a slightly nasty word about her, I could defend her till the cows came home. Kind of weird, if you ask me. (I think it was because I really reserved the right to bash on her myself when I needed to. And having someone else do it for me...mind you, this was years ago, back in junior high and high school when I had friends that thought it was cool to take sides when it came to twins fighting...it just really fucked with the order of things in my life. I was the only one allowed to make fun or bash the Twin (again, years ago...these days, I only call her a fuckhead when she's truly and honestly behaving like a fuckhead. And she knows she does it. Just the same as I know that I act like a fuckhead all the goddam time), so anyone else that did it was promptly told to sod off...) Anyway, it's something that people need to work through on their own. You might take a side as a sibling (which you shouldn't, really...), but just keep on loving them, is all that needs to happen.

So that's what was going on Saturday. After that, I got food, hung out with my friends, listened to music, and had a rockin' time. It was a great night.

Ok, The Bachelor is coming down to the wire. Gotta run...

SERIOUS case of "the Mondays"

I hate Monday. Why does it have to exist, anyway? Grrr...

Of course it's a busy-as-hell day, though. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and wasn't able to go back to sleep, so it only makes sense that I'd have a busier-than-average morning, really. I actually considered starting my workout earlier, and maybe doing a bit more than usual, since I was up and all. But then I realized that the extra workout might only exacerbate the tiredness that was already bound to occur with the lack of sleep as it was, so I decided to lie there, and try to think of nothing. Didn't work. But lying in bed was relaxing enough in itself, I suppose.

I did wind up picking up both the new shutters as well as the new house numbers yesterday. And the house numbers were only $10 each, so I actually have a few dollars left over as store credit that I can use at another time at Restoration Hardware, which is nifty. I don't shop there very often, but they do have some fun stuff. I can't wait to put the new stuff on the house. I don't know if I'll be able to hang the shutters by myself, but I'm certainly going to try.

I've got more to say, but it'll have to wait till later. back to work! Grrr...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

It's nothing that some laying about can't solve...

I overdid it yesterday. I overdid it all. Wa-haaaaay overdone...

Started out by waking up, eating a healthy breakfast (go me), and then got ready to head to the mall. The bosses gave me a nice gift certificate to one of the local malls for Adminstrative Professional's Day, and I'd been planning on using it to buy some new shoes that I've been needing (I have been wearing the same slip on heels for the past two summers, and while they still look pretty ok for the amount I've used them, I'm tired of them). But I don't go to the mall very often, and I really needed to grab a couple of new skirts and a couple new tops as well.

Um, I wound up going nuts. I bought the entire Gap, found some new colors of tank tops at The Limited, and then found some shoes at Nordstroms that will be perfect for the rest of this summer, and possibly next. (Steve Madden, I love thee...)

I actually did pretty well money-wise considering the amount of stuff I got. The Gap had some really great stuff on sale. (I don't shop often...and I cleared out a bunch of old clothes to make way for the new stuff...I'm rather practical when it comes to my clothing-buying impulses. I have to be...because I felt absolutely euphoric after I left the mall yesterday. Ask the Twin...I called her to tell her what I'd just done, and she could hear the excitement in my voice fo sho. If I let myself, I'm sure I could get carried away with that sort of thing much more often, just so I could feel the rush of making such fabulous purchases. Thankfully, I actually worry about being able to pay my credit card bill off within the next 6 months, so I don't go to the mall often. Plus, I have what I need, and I'll wear it often. I don't mind being seen in the same outfit twice or three times in one month, especially if it makes me feel good about how I look.)

After the shopping spree, I came home, ate a healthy lunch, and then I started in on the yard work. I had to mow both the front and back lawn, which took me about 2 and a half hours, due to several little interruptions throughout the work. While I was mowing my back yard, my neighbor waved me over to the fence. Turns out he was having a barbecue to celebrate his 30th birthday, and he wanted to invite me. I told him I'd be there, and really looked forward to it. The day was just getting better and better!

So I went over to their house at about 5:20, and met so many people, it was just frightening! My neighbors are a young married couple that just had their first baby...they moved in about a year ago, and while we've always waved or said hello to each other, I've never really gotten to know them. So it was a great opportunity for us to actually hang out and talk a bit. They had their baby 8 months ago, and I swear, I've never even seen her. She's stealth baby! I always see them loading up the car to head out with her, but somehow, I always manage to miss seeing her...so I met her yesterday, and she is soooo, so pretty! With a very sweet name, as well. In fact all of the babies that were at the party (there were LOTS) had just the sweetest names. Ella, Greta, Jackson, Maddy...Just cute, cute kids. And two sets of twins! It was crazy. I only stayed for about 2 hours, it got so crazy...after that, it was time to head to the Moose for some NBA and beer therapy.

One of the managers at the Moose told me that his mother had found my blog. I guess she was looking up "The Blue Moose" on some search engine or another, and my blog popped up, since I mention it by name as often as I do. He had checked it out, I s'pose, but not in detail. I still don't know how he knew it was me that writes it, since I use an alias online, but maybe he'd read enough to be able to pick out that I'm the regular that writes it. Maybe he saw an entry that had to do with me going there to watch USC games (I think I'm the only one that did that on a regular basis back in the fall)...that would make the most sense. Perhaps he found one of the entries that had links to my photo album. I don't know...

Anyway, it was a good day, really. I was very extremely exhausted at the end of it all, but I slept in a bit this morning, and I'm starting to come around right now. I still need to measure the shutters I want to replace, and then head to Home Depot to pick up the new ones. I also would really like to replace the house numbers soon, so I need to hit Restoration Hardware, if possible, as well. (I have a gift certificate that my friends gave me over a year ago, and I found the house numbers I want last spring...with the gift certificate's help, I'll only have to pay about $25 for the new numbers...) I don't know if I'm thinking somewhat ambitiously about completing all that activity at this point or not. Guess I'll go get dressed and see what happens. :)

The Spring is always so full of activity. The expected and the unexpected...it's all just so much stuff, you know? It's nice that it's turning out to be happy stuff, though. Makes me feel good.

Friday, May 13, 2005

My Friday Night - Dedicated to me

It's all me tonight, yo. I'm still trying to kick the last of the cold that I had last week (the congestion in the nasal area is always the toughest for me to kick...), so I decided to stay in. I went and got a salad and some sushi (Cali rolls, of course...) from the supehrmarchet (that's me talking in my tres fabu fracais axsahnt, btw...), came home and plopped down for some early-evening t.v., called Dad, called Twin, Twin called back, etc, etc...

Then, I decided, as I often do for some reason, that I was looking cute. I'm not sure if it has to do with beers, or if it's just something my brain does when it's tired. Anywho, when I feel like I'm lookin' cute, I decide to take pictures of myself. Yes, I'm sick. But really, it's to help support my addiction to the online dating. Updated pics are the shit. So, I feel cute, and the film comes out, gets loaded, and we're off and running.

Instead of my usual thing I do (which is to set the self-timer on the camera, and then try to get a cute look on my face before the camera takes the shot), I decide to look in my gigantor mirror in the living room (my first, official Pottery Barn purchase oh-so-many-years-ago...it's one of those 6' X 4' numbers they sell, and it's lovely...) to see what face I should "make" before I take the picture while holding the camera an arm's length away from my head. The last couple of pics I took with the self-timer freak me out (one of them makes my head look tiny, and the other one...well, I have this insane smile on my face that I seriously hope I do not use in public. Ever.) because digitally, they have these funky streaky things all over them. I would post them in a Yahoo album for opinions, but they really are silly looking pictures of me. Which makes me question my perception of myself when I'm feeling cute, but I digress. They freak me out, because the streaky things aren't in the actual printed out pics, but rather are just showing up in the pictures when I pull them up in MS Photo Editor. I might send them to a website dedicated to trying to figure out whether there might be any ghosty-type of activity going on. I don't know if it's my camera, or the film, or what. All I know is, it only happened in those two photos that I took of myself while the camera was on the self-timer. Maybe it's the self-timer thing malfunctioning? I dunno...

Anyway, I'm all into myself tonight. Which is the way it should be, dammit. Tomorrow, I'll have to be all into my house (new shutters for the front windows, and a good mow for the front and back lawn...), so it's good that I'm going through this tonight. I think, anyway...And I'm having a problem resisting my desire to climb into my car and drive to Taco Bell, even though I'm not hungry. Watching the NBA on TNT is detrimental to my health, it seems. I'm so craving a bean burrito with no cheese and no onions right now.

So I'm now off to wash my face and then head to bed. Hope everyone has as wonderful weather as we're supposed to have this weekend. Change the shutters on your house...put up some new house-numbers...do some stuff just for you. And enjoy, dammit...

Super-busy girl over here...

Today is like a bad Monday at the end of the month. (In the mortgage world, the end of the month is very, very icky...) I don't know what's happening, but my day exploded at oooh, about 8 fucking a.m. So, that's all that's up with me.

Dammit, I have a report to do I forgot about. Sheit. Bye!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Katharine the Great, indeed...

Today is Katharine Hepburn's birthday. We're also coming up quite soon on the anniversary of her death, incidentally, and both of these events usually tend to cause the classic movie channels to have day-long tributes to the actress, to which I say, "Woohoo!" (I personally started off the day with "Little Women".)

As it says on the page I linked to above, she didn't just play strong women, but she also was a strong woman. I idolize her as I get older and older more than anyone else I've ever admired before. The obituary written for her by Joel Ryan (which I found at E-Online) describes her well, has several astute quotes of certain comments she's made throughout her lifetime, and speaks of her "magnificent spirit"...go read it. Even if you think you already know all you need or want to know about her, it will still make you feel good all over for being a fan, if you are one. If you aren't one, then do yourself a favor, and rent a couple of her best flicks this weekend. I'm partial to "Holiday", "Bringing Up Baby", and "The Philadelphia Story" myself. But "Desk Set" is also lovely, and so is "Pat and Mike", and "Woman of the Year". And "The African Queen" has a special place in my heart because I adore Humphrey Bogart so much, and I thought Kate was absolutely wonderful in that movie. If you're not a fan after watching just a couple of those movies, then I don't know what to say. :)

Happy Birthday, Kate. I'll have a martini for you this weekend, and will always think fondly of you as long as I live.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Starting off the day the Tiga way...

"You're just a parrot and you're screaming and you're shouting, 'More crackers, please! More crackers, please..."

I love the Tiga "DJ Kicks" album that I was able to pick up when I was at Coachella last week. I'm not usually a house music/electronic "thumpa thumpa" type music sorta chick, but my Big Brother made an edit of a few songs from this album last year for the Christmas Musical Fruitcake he gave us, and I fell instantly in love with it.

This morning, track 9 was what was playing during the final stretch of my drive into work. Called "...so Soft Cell", it seemed to get into my driver's seat and permeate from the bottom up. I had it at the perfect volume level, and I don't think I've had any music that's been played in my car that has ever surrounded me like that song did this morning. It was perfect.

I also started my new wake-up-and-work-out-in-the-morning thing today. I wake up about an hour earlier than usual to walk for a half hour on the tread, and then do some sit-ups and stretch. It worked out well this morning, as the Style Network has on "Fashiontrance" from 5:30 - 6:00 a.m., and then I found that they air new "Nigella Bites" episodes at 6:00 a.m. I think it was new...hm. It was new to me, anyway. I don't know if they follow the same pattern every day, but if so, then I'll be happy for a bit, as long as they keep it up. "Fashiontrance" is a show dedicated to fashion shows that happen everywhere from NY to Paris, and they don't have any talking...just the runway show and music, along with some pop-up type stuff that lets you know little facts about the designer that's being featured, or makes mention of the "key item" in the particular outfit that's being modelled, etc...For example, this morning, I caught the Spring 2005 collection of a designer who apparently has had no formal training, doesn't even like to sketch his designs prior to creating them, and who's pre-show entertainment was a ballerina dancing about. I can't remember his name, but he had some pretty cool clothes. Oh, and apparently, the famous people in the front row included Ivana Trump and Katie Couric (???), and this particular designer is known for the way he "drapes" his fabrics. It was a lovely collection. And I love watching fashion shit like that. They used to have this really great show on every morning that I would watch instead of watching "Good Morning America" while eating my breakfast, but it's not on any more. The chick that hosted it is tall, and skinny, and dark haired, and has a really unusual New York Accent (kind of a NY drawl, if you will...), and I think she's a biggy in the fashion-entertainment industry, but I can't remember her name right now! Dammit...she always ended her show by saying, "Come back next week, when we'll show you more style, fashion, and glamour!" Anybody know who I'm talking about? That's just going to drive me buggy. Anyway, they don't have the show on any more, and it's not even in their show listing on their site, so oh well. I liked it lots. I miss it. But they do have Fashiontrance, Fashion File, and Video Fashion Weekly to keep me in the know on what's going on every season. So I guess I'll let it go.

Anyway, I'm switching my workout times because I never am in the mood to go home and workout after work these days. And every time that I've been in my best shape, I've always been in the early-morning-workout pattern, so I figure this'll be a positive change. Though my coworkers might wind up disagreeing with that logic after a week of me waking up early every day. :) But we'll see. I have at least 2 skirts that I'd like to fit into in my closet by the time June rolls around, so it must be done.

Boring, boring, boring...moving on! Have a good day, all. Check out some Tiga, and get in a good damn mood.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

It's her "Hate" that I love the most...

I heart Sars at Tomato Nation.

Anyone who thinks I'm "angry" or "sad" because of the shit I vent about on an almost daily basis on this blog, go read this.

See? I'm fucking normal. Everybody needs to vent now and then. Case closed. (I'm gonna go hump her Vine section now...)

Monday, May 09, 2005

And yet my ass tells me it must be true...

I refuse to believe that Cheetos Puffs are fattening. It's irrational and silly to me, is what it is. They're light! They're aaiiiryyy! They're puffs, for god's sake! So how can they be fattening?

Well, my ass is definitely trying to convince my brain to ignore the irrationality of it all, and to admit that the puffs are actually little fat-anvils of evil.

I hate my ass for that. I really, really do. Hmph.

Just one question...

Who the fuck is behind the marketing "genius" that is consistently displayed by Wendy's these days? I thank the Lord above for the fact that they finally figured out how annoyingly stupid those "Mr. Wendy, Unofficial Spokesman" commercials were, and that they pulled them off the air, and stopped making more of them.

But now, the whole salad commercial that they have? It makes me want to rip my t.v. from the wall, and throw it down the public sewer entrance in my backyard. First of all, where are these workplaces where people are all sitting down at a table like we all did during our lunch hour when we were in junior high, and they all have a salad to eat. I mean, really? Really? They all are eating salads? C'mon. At a table of 5 in any given cafeteria/office lunchroom, one person is bound to be eating a sammich, and not a salad. End of story.

And then there's the discussion of said salads, which I will not get into, because if you've seen this commercial, then you know how FUCKING obnoxious it is, and if you haven't seen the commercial, then just thank your lucky stars, ok? Because it is very annoying.

I just don't get it. I would imagine that it's been a tough climb out of the hole after that finger hoax happened, because even though it was fake, it's still...ew. I just don't even want fast food after that whole thing. But now they put out the worst commercial of the year, and they think it's clever?

So I went to their website, looking to drop them a line about how they need to dump their advertising company and find a new one, stat, and they don't have a way to e-mail them about shit like this. I could write an actual letter and send it to them, apparently. But I'd have to waste a stamp on that sort of thing, so, no.

Until they figure out what an annoying and stupid commercial this is, I will be forced to change the channel every time it comes on, and hope that I don't kill my television in the process. Because it's not the t.v.'s fault that the marketing yahoos at Wendy's don't have a clue. But it is the medium through which those marketing yahoos are making their way into my little world, and that just puts the t.v. at a slightly higher risk, is all. Pray for my t.v., y'all. And if you're reading this, and you have any kind of connection to Wendy's and/or their marketing department, please...just stop the dumb, dumb marketing campaigns. Please.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Fear & loathing in the Accounts Payable Dept.

I work for a very large company. For some reason, we apparently have 3 people who work on the AP "help" desk, and another 30 billion that respond to issues via e-mail...sort of. Last week, when I'd reached the end of my rope with the department for the 3rd time in about a month, I learned that the "help" desk that they set up, sent out the number for via e-mail, and told us all to use back in February is overwhelmed by calls, and we need to stop calling there for "help". I sat on hold for 25 minutes before hanging up because I had to leave on Friday 2 weeks ago. Monday, I called back, and after another 10 minutes waiting for someone on the "help" desk to answer, I sent an e-mail to the supposed head of the help desk telling her that I'd been on hold for 25 minutes on Friday, and now I'd been on hold for 10, and WTF was going on? Oh, and I cc'd the VP of the department, as she and I got very close a couple of months back when I hunted her ass down and told her, in so many words, that her department sucked monkey ass, and something needed to be done about it. Here I thought they'd made HUGE strides! Creating a help desk to assist us with a simple phone call! Giving us the names of the people who worked on the help desk, as well as their supervisors! Yeah...I shoulda fuckin' known better. She wound up telling me to send an e-mail to the main e-mail address for their department, and my issue would be handled promptly.

Anywho, so we have a problem in my region. My boss has the same name and spelling of a branch manager who works in California somewhere. The way they differentiate their names? My boss uses his middle initial. For a while, the employees in our region didn't even realize that they needed to use the middle initial when submitting requests for AP payments, and so a LOT of requests were going to "Po Dunk" in California for approval rather than coming to my boss, "Po D Dunk". I sent out notes to let everyone know that they needed to re-route their requests to the right guy. I couldn't even go in and deny the requests, because I have nothing to do with Po Dunk in Cali. Most people heeded this request, and some did not. Apparently, another issue is that some people were sending in requests not knowing they needed to come to our level to be approved by Po D Dunk. So they just had their branch managers on the request as approvers, and thought all would be well. Unfortunately, all was not well, and my favorite department started routing requests from our region to go to - you guessed it! - Po Dunk.

So. This was what prompted my call last week to the "help" desk. I wound up discussing the issue with the VP, and thought everything was fixed. But it wasn't. The three requests that needed to be re-routed remained unre-routed, and so I sent a note to the new e-mail address I'd been given in order to submit issues, since, apparently, the "help" desk line is too overwhelmed to be able to "help". I sent the note on Wednesday. It went a-somethin' like this:

We need to have three check requests re-routed to the appropriate manager to approve them. Please route the following requests to PO D DUNK as soon as possible:

Thanks for the assistance!
Muther-fuckin' best admin in the world

The sentence that's red and has the name bolded and in all caps? Yeah, that's exactly how I wrote the note in my work e-mail. Thought the red and the bold might make a difference, and help a bit with making the issue as clear as possible. About an hour later, I see that the request has been forwarded by one of the 'tards in the AP Department to a person whom I'm supposing is the appropriate individual to handle the re-routing task. I thought to myself, "Great! Something finally worked!" And patted myself on the back while I went quietly back to work.

Today, I checked to see about approving those requests that needed to be re-routed to my boss. Hm. They were still sitting in the same wrong que waiting for Mr. Po Dunk to approve them. So I found the note that had been sent to me the other day that indicated that someone had been contacted about taking care of this issue for me, and I replied to all, asking them if they were planning on getting to the re-routing soon, because these requests were old to begin with, and just how long does it take to re-route them anyway? I received the following reply:

The requests you inquired about are currently waiting for Po Dunk to approve. I have sent an e-mail asking Po Dunk to please take care of approving the requests as soon as he can. As soon as that's taken care of, the invoices will be paid as requested.
Thanks! Have a great weekend!

Idiot # 54
Accounts Payable Department

If I had one of those little smilies that has a blank look on it's face, and just sits there blinking it's eyes in disbelief, I'd be using it right here. (Blogger soooo needs those things!)

So. I reply back to all, and say:

I don't know how I could be more clear in my request. In my original note, I stated the following: "Please route the following requests to PO D DUNK as soon as possible:

There is a Po Dunk who is a branch manager in California. And then there is Po D Dunk, who is the VP of our region, and who is the person these requests need to be approved by. Please tell me how this information is confusing you, and I will do my best to make it even MORE clear in future communications.

Thank you.
Fucking Incredible Admin Extraordinaire

I haven't even ventured into my work e-mail to see how they responded. Dumb. Ass. Jerks. Who'd be willing to bet that Idiot # 54 in the AP Department makes more cash than I do annually? Anyone? I sure wish I could find that sort of shit out....

See, I told you...

There was a fleeting moment this past weekend (I admit that it was just that...) when I asked the Twin if anyone had told Older Sister about me coming to town for the concert, and mentioned to her how I would be at Dad's for dinner on Sunday. I can't honestly remember what was said, except that I think we expected that Older Sister was likely working, or something. I mean, I was in town for about 2 minutes. It didn't seem necessary to even mention it, as far as I was concerned, and, apparently, as far as everyone else was concerned as well. I visited with Brother and Sis-in-law-to-be and Dad and Stepmom (and Twin's ex) for a total of about 4 hours. 1 of which was spent on the couch watching a really funny little documentary about Bigfoot...so we didn't even have that much to say to each other, when I think about it! The SILTB was even reading a magazine much of the time.

So, while I know this isn't a regular read for her, or anything, I just want to say get over it. And yourself. It's not all about you. And this had nothing to do with you at. all. It was a quick amount of time that I was around anyone other than the Twin, and I was focussed mostly on seeing the new baby. You can ask the Twin's kids. I barely spoke to them at all. (I asked one about the puzzle she was doing, and then she colored me a picture when she was hanging out by herself in another room, and the other one was in and out a bit too much for me to remember anything specific.) But that's how it is with kids! They want to play on the computer, and they want to color, and they want to go off for a ride in the car with dad, and somewhere in the middle of it all, they wave hello to Aunt Faith, and then they pose for a picture with her, and then they go back to wishing they could be swimming in Papa's pool because being inside sucks so much they could die.

Kids do not care about seeing their aunties or uncles. They might think about them once or twice a month, and ask mom and dad how auntie or uncle are doing, and when they're coming back for a visit, but then they go back to thinking their little kid thoughts. It's when they turn 15 or 16 that (a) I begin to like hanging out with them, because I can relate all of a sudden, and (b) they begin to know what it means to have an auntie or uncle that's as cool as I am. Until then, they want me to do kiddo things with them, which I'm not so into, so they realize I'm a bore, and they move on.

Sometimes, life just flies by too quickly to have to get bent about shit like this. But I can't make anyone understand it, so I won't even try. I'm not very close to anyone else in the family besides the Twin. I don't know what anyone else's daily life is like, I don't really have time or energy to talk to anyone else as I do to her, and that creates a distance between us that is just fine with me, but apparently not so for others in the family. It's like an old friend that you don't see very often. I used to have this friend in high school that I hung out with aaallll the time. By senior year, we were drifting apart. And by the time college started, we were two totally different people than we had been in high school, and we rarely saw each other. Then we had a spurt of hanging out quite often when we graduated, and then nothing again for about a year after I moved to KC the first time. But we always did that back and forth thing...I was even a bridesmaid in her wedding about 4 years ago. But since then, I haven't made much of an effort to keep up with her moves. She has her little family now, and she still lives very far away, and it's just not the same as it was all those years ago in high school. And that's ok, you know? She sent me a Happy New Year card this year that had a picture of her son on it, and she referred to me by my old nickname, and it makes me tear up to look at it, and to know that she still thinks of me now and then. I think of her too. And if we started talking again, it'd be like we just talked to each other yesterday. Do I hold any resentment towards her for having a life that doesn't include me? Hell no. Just the same as I'm sure she doesn't resent me.

People grow apart. I know it might not seem like it's supposed to happen in families, but it does. All the time. We're living very different lives, in very different locations, and are so different personality-wise that it's almost frightening. Why can some of us accept this fact, and others can't? That's not something I choose to worry about. Know why? Because I have bills to pay, and new windows to install, and a deck to stain (again!), and friends - locally - that I want to see this weekend, and WORK to do about 50 hours each week! I have other shit on my mind, honestly.

Just remember that it isn't about you. Everything isn't about you. Ok? Ok.

p.s. I've closed comments on this post, for obvious reasons. I'm just soooo not in the mood, and I know that all my blog-friends will support every word that I've said in this post. At least, I think they will. :)

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Sticking with it

Still sick. Very tired. Going to bed very soon, indeed.

Thing is, I started to feel a bit better mid-day. My friend called me to tell me that she and her honey were going to be out at the Moose tonight (they have a $1.50 beer special on Thursdays), and I told her I'd try to make it, and seriously thought I would at that time. But then 4:30 came along, and my throat started hurting really bad again...ooh! I forgot, I'm making tea! Be right back...

So the day is almost done, and I don't even know if I'll make it all the way through to the end of The Apprentice, much less be able to stay awake for ER. I recorded Lost and Alias last night, kind of half-listening to them from the kitchen as I cooked (some very yummy chicken and a HUGE baked potato that I'll probably eat throughout the weekend...), and planned on watching them tonight, but haven't gotten around to it.

I'm thinking this weekend is going to be a relatively quiet one. Time to rent some movies again, and hang low. Hopefully I'll be better by Saturday, so I can go out and show my friends the pictures from last weekend, and tell them all about the concert. *fingers crossed!*

Bleh. Bleh, bleh, bleh...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

The strange logic in the clumsiest life...

I've been horribly busy at work these past couple of days. Of course. :) Because that's what vacation from work is...a double-edged sword of the worst kind! Yes, I had a few fun days, and enjoyed my time off immensely. But in return, I had to bust my ass in the couple of days before I left, and I've been busting my ass in the couple of days since I returned. Last night I worked until almost 7. That's...just not right. Tonight, I almost escaped at about 5:20, but then I remembered that I needed to overnight a package to a possible candidate, and I had to turn my computer back on in order to get it going. It sucked.

And to top it all off, my throat started feeling sore at about 3:30. Goody. A cold. Just what I wanted for Cinqo de Mayo. There goes having a few celebratory beers with my buddies tomorrow night!

On the drive home, I started feeling something I could quite put my finger on. And then it hit me...I'm lonely. I don't know if it's because I miss my friends, or if it's because I spent so much time with the Twin over the weekend, or if it's because I don't have a boyfriend. But it's definitely there. And it sucks.

My coworker called in a vacation day today, which made my day a bit harder, and it worries me because she called it in at the last minute. She called while I was still there last night, at about 6:30, and after expressing her surprise that I was still in the office (I really had soooo much to do that I didn't even notice the time flying by...), she asked to speak to her boss. Her boss was on the phone though, so she said she'd call back later. Apparently, she called her to clear the vacation day with her, which her boss did do. Coworker then called me and left a message on my work phone at about 10:30 last night to tell me about her sudden vacation day, saying that she knew I'd be pissed (which I was), and said she'd see me Thursday, and I could smack her then. I don't know why she didn't tell me what was up when we spoke at 6:30, though. The day worked itself out, but clearly I was a bit more stressed, as is evidenced by the sudden onset of my sore throat. I hope she's ok, and I don't think I'm so much mad at her (I mean, she must've needed the break for a reason, yes?) as I am just concerned and even more busy now.

I'm just so tired...I need to go to sleep right now. It's only 9 p.m. Something is wrong with me, for sure. Dammit. (Sorry about the bitching and moaning...it was necessary, though. Hopefully I'll be back to "normal" in a couple of days.)

Monday, May 02, 2005

Bits & pieces create the Whole Darned Thing

First off, here are the pictures from the weekend. (Make sure to read the comments so you know what's up.) Have fun reviewing them. I had fun taking them. :D

Secondly, Coachella was VUNDERBAR!!! I was smiling all day long, seriously. It was hot, and the wait to get in was over and hour and a little bit excrutiating, but it was well worth it. We saw Keane and Snow Patrol and Bauhaus, as well as The Kills and a little Stereophonic (rockin') and some Rilo Kiley. It was a full, fabulous, fun day. I think it worked really well to be there with just the Twin. We didn't have to worry about splitting up from any other parties, and then trying to meet up with them later. We wandered about listening to the music that made us both happy, we ate at odd times, we sat down and rested as much as we needed. It worked out well. And I had a blast. So thanks for going with me, Twin. I'm sorry I was too tired to stick around for Coldplay. Next time, we'll know better, eh?

The Twin bet me $.50 that Dad and Stepmom wouldn't even notice my haircolor change. It has been since Christmas that I saw everyone, but I don't think Dad is that dopey. And sure enough, his reaction after I said hello was, "What did you do? You just got it back to normal!"


Um, I guess blonde is "normal" to Dad, and I also suppose that he forgets that it's been "normal" for a year and a half now. So I didn't "just get it back" to anything, silly old man. He cracks my ass up!

I need to clean up my room a bit, and hit the hay. I'm sure to have a very full day tomorrow, and I don't think it'll go very well if I don't get some good sleep tonight. Hope you enjoy the pictures! And let me just end this by saying SCOTT SPEEDMAN HAD HIS ARM AROUND ME!! WOO! I'm a very lucky girl, indeed. :) Because, dear Lord in heaven, that boy is a hottie.