Wednesday, August 31, 2005

In a funk...

I'm in a funk, it seems. Getting upset over little things, and that sort of shit. Funks are obnoxious in my world. Thankfully, they pass relatively quickly, and life rolls along in it's merry way.

I'm going to work through lunch today to make up for the hour I lost yesterday at my interview (I was gone for 2 hours all together), my coworker has gone to grab the Chinese food we ordered, which is incredibly sweet of her I think, and hopefully tonight, I'll be able to hang out with a couple of friends while I have a beer at the Moose to mull over this whole New Orleans situation. The ripple effect is just starting to be realized, so I can only imagine what the news will be reporting by the end of the business day.

If necessary, I'll just cry again a bit tonight. That helped me feel a bit better last night, along with an early morning workout this morning. I don't know why that happens every now and then. I just feel the need to cry...and last night, I could feel myself holding back from letting it out, and I remember telling myself that it needed to happen, and then I just opened it up. It came and went for about and hour and a half, and I just kept the kleenexes handy and let it go. Then I crawled into bed, read my book for about 20 minutes, and then shut off the light.

Nothing really wears me out more than dealing with a bit of overdue emotion. Dig it. (Sort of.)

That's it for me right now. I've got a report that's slowly compiling, and I need to check it again to see if it's ready to cooperate yet. I hate waiting.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Ok, I have to take a break...

A couple observations:

We have a new radio station in the KC area. It's called "Jack", or some shit like that. It's good background music, to be quite honest, but it's the weirdest station! They just played Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" (which, by the way, was a piece of musical genious...can't believe it isn't played more often, really...), and now they're playing some soft-heavy metal shit (I don't know who the band is...), and earlier they played Depeche Mode and Tears for Fears. They just play almost everything, really. Not any country, thank goodness. But they played that "How Bizarre" song earlier, which I hadn't heard in for. ev. er. (not that I was sitting around wishing someone would play it or anything...it's a piece of musical crap, overall), and they do shit like that all day. I could do without the amount of Van Halen they play. And the Faith Hill shit. But anyway...interesting station. Again, good background to the mindless stuff I'm doing all day long.

How does one leave the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper draped from the back of their pants? I saw a woman earlier in the hallway that had done just that. Now, I probably have some nasty karma coming my way for not having stopped her to let her know about it, but I don't know her, and it seemed an odd thing to approach a stranger about, you know? But really, it got me wondering about just how that sort of thing happens? Did she miss the bowl when she went to throw the toilet paper she was using in it? And instead, it landed in her pants? How did she not notice? And, ew! I just don't get it. Toilet paper stuck to the shoe I get. But a trail of it out the back of the pants is beyond me. Very beyond.

Ok, back to work. Gah.

**Update: that radio station is now playing that "Steal My Sunshine" song, which I LOVE, btw, and a moment before they played it, they were playing Elton John. It's a funky station. The funkiest of the funky...

Just a quicky...

Interview went well. Will know something by middle to end of next week (hopefully sooner, though). Missed a bunch of work in order to hang out and chat with two different people, though, so I'd best get back to it...I'll write more later, I think. Depends on what pops up tonight, if anything. :)

Monday, August 29, 2005

What's that called again?

I really need someone to create one of those machines (or a couple of them, ideally) that can automatically transport me from one place to another. What are those called again? Teleporters? That just sounds wrong. Anyway, I need one. And soooon.

What is with people in this town (which refers to Kansas City, Overland Park, and Prairie Village as a whole, for this story's purposes, anyway) sitting behind the line at an intersection as they wait their turn to go left on a non-arrow light? Don't they know you're supposed to edge as far as safely possible into the intersection, so as to allow space for the person behind them to possibly make it through a yellow light as well, should it come down to that? And my favorite part is that when the light turns yellow, and they still haven't had the chance to go, they wind up staying as it turns red to wait for the next green to come along! I mean, COME ON PEOPLE!!! Go to LA for a week, learn how to fucking drive, and then come back and do so properly, kay? SHEESH!

Weekend was mellow. My hair is bright again, and the gray and dark roots are gone. Dad had a cancerous bit removed from his head on Saturday, and it's being tested to see if it's worse than just the standard little skin cancer spot. (Years ago, when I was with the formerly-favorite boyfriend, his dad had the same thing happen...thought he'd had a particularly nasty sunburn, waited a bit before finally heading in to see the dermatologist who told him it was actually cancer, and they removed it and then found out that it was just a normal old sarcoma, or whatever you call those things. It was the non-hazardous type of cancer, if there is such a thing. Wasn't going to spread, and hadn't spread, etc...) Apparently, he thought it was normal to be walking around with an open sore on his head for the past couple of months, for some reason. His logic just bugs me so very much sometimes. GAH!

Twin is worried about him, but I still have a good feeling about the man. I'm gonna call him later and chat with him a bit, and let him know I'm thinking of him, though. Because I am. :)

Alright...back to the reports. The oh-so-fun reports. Woo!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Back to normal

Ok, did I happen to mention that the building I work in right now is right across the street (Belleview) from that place I bagged on the other day called "The Drink"? Yeah, I sit right next to a window that overlooks the parking lot for the bar. It's a great building, by the way. The one where "The Drink" is, I mean. (The building I work in is cool, too, but mostly because of the fact that (a) the parking is free and a majority of it is covered, and (b) the other temp that's in the same little office with me discovered that we have the thermostat control in our office yesterday. So now we don't get so hot any more. Woo!) Anyway, the building is a large square one, and they've painted it red, and have all black wrought (sp?) iron fixtures like a spiral staircase and railings on the patio, etc. It's really my style of building, is the thing.

But, it does little-to-no buisness at all, from what I can see. Granted, I'm only here from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day, but boyfriend and I were there at about 7:30 to 8 on Tuesday, and like I said before, there were about 3 other people there that didn't work there. And I'm pretty sure they knew the people that worked there. Even on a Tuesday night at the Moose, there are at least 15 people there at all times. And not just us regulars, I mean.

When boyfriend and I left, he made the comment that he wondered if "The Drink" is mafia-owned. Hmm...that was an interesting question, when I think back on it.

I just watched as Guido #1 and his girlfriend showed up to hang out at "The Drink". They pulled up in a little grey 2-door Audi, and walked to the VIP entrance (with Guido #1 stopping momentarily to yank Girlfriend over for a kiss...aww, so sweet! BLEH!). Moments later, they were walking back to their car, since "The Drink" doesn't open until 4 p.m., I think. Girlfriend leaned against the back of the car as Guido #1 wandered over to the side of the building that the patio is on (which has a great view, by the way). Guido saw that there wasn't an entrance he could go through on that side, and walked back to the car.

As he started to open his door, Guido #2 showed up in his dark-grey current-model Corvette. They talked for a moment, and then Guido #1 got in his Audi, Girlfriend shut her door, and they pulled out of the parking lot with Guido #2 following Guido #1 somewhere down on the Plaza, no doubt. Hell, many-a-bar is open and serving right now. They could probably go to Capitol Grille, or JJ's, or even Tom Fooleries for some pre "Drink" drinks, and then shoot back on up here once it's open again to spend inordinant amounts of alcohol for the rest of the evening.

Tony mentioned my comments about "The Drink" from the other day in a post he put up yesterday. He mentioned something about me having the "guts" to say what I'd said about the place. Which makes me wonder if my boyfriend is the only one that feels that there could be a dangerous connection between "The Drink" and our local mafia here in good ol' KC. (Yep...we have mob in town. Doesn't everyone? My old boyfriend, Dickhead, has a friend that is related directly to said mobsters, if that's still what you call them. They were really nice people, if that helps any...we spent Christmas with them a couple of years ago. Lovely home...really good food...they even let me watch the Laker game that was on that day, even though they weren't particularly fans of the team. Nice, nice people...)

All I can say is that the building is a wonderful one...the ambience was even rather nice, if not a bit too uppity in some ways. The bar stools were ridiculous. The ladies' room was just that...a room. Single toilet, and the door-handle was already broken, and there are several broken tiles in it as well. Which I found odd for a place that's been open for such a short time. (I think it's been there for less than 6 months.) This is my favorite part about the bar, though: they have a limo that sits down on the main part of the Plaza that offers free rides up to the bar during the evening all week. It usually sits there, and sits there, and sits there, from what I can recall from the last couple of times I've been down on the Plaza hanging out. So that doesn't work, either.

Anyway, I don't care if it's mafia-owned, or anything. They charge too much for their alcohol. WE AREN'T IN NEW YORK, DAMMIT!! A beer like Boulevard Wheat shouldn't cost more that $3.50 - $4.25, maximum. And that's definitely pushing it. Charge $4.50 for a Guiness, if you must. But keep the wheat lower than $4, if you know what's good for you. Dumbasses...

There you go, Tony. A full review without any pillow talk recon or boring boyfriend stories. Nyah. :P

All kinds of jittery...

I suddenly feel like I did a line of cocaine. Not that I know what that feels like, per se, as I've never done cocaine. I'm all jittery and it's hard for me to focus. Is it because I just ate lunch at the Moose, then went home and had a lovely few moments to myself in my bathroom, and then came back to work on time? I only had 2 glasses of soda while I was at the Moose, so that can't be it.

Weird.

I'd like it to stop it now, please. Feels really icky. Like all I want to do is run up and down the street for a couple of minutes, and then lie down on a couch and wait for it to go away. GAH!! It's sooo obnoxious!

Ok, I'll spare you guys the walk-through of whatever it is that's crawled into my bloodstream. Back to the report I was working on...

I'm feeling a bit bland today...

Things are moving along as they should be right now. We had an amazing storm move through this morning just as I was waking up, which made shower-time fun (I'm afraid of lightening...don't make fun, it really is quite dangerous), but the lights stayed on, and all was well in the end. Lots of rain, LOTS of lightening...it was a fun morning.

Now I'm at work, plugging away on all the different little reports they need to have run. All the numbers get a bit tedious after a bit, but we listen to music while we work, and the people here are really very nice, so the monotony isn't overpowering, and the stress comes and goes rather quickly when I think back on my status as a temp.

I'm such a bore right now! Life is in a lull is all. And I don't know how to make even the most ordinary and normal activities, such as cooking dinner, or something, sound as funny as an Eddie Izzard bit, a la Maine. (If you've never checked Maine out, do yourself a favor, and go. Go there now. Read up, and laugh, muthafuckas! He's soooo damned funny...) I'm just not that talented.

I will tell you all that I'm super-glad it's Friday, I have some fun shopping to do this weekend (including getting a key to the house for the boyfriend...aww yeah!), getting my hair done tomorrow (super-bright red again, which is bound to stand out at the interview next week. I kick such ass, I scare myself, even!), watching the Chiefs go up against Seattle on Saturday night, and loll about, possibly doing some yard work on Sunday. Should be a nice weekend. Oh, and boyfriend and I are planning on going to see the 40-Year-Old Virgin tonight, which is gonna be fun. (But it's a toss up for me...there's a random indy flick that finally got released at a local theatre, and I've been wanting to see that, too. Maybe I can watch it on Sunday at a matinee by myself...it's called Broken Flowers. Anyone seen it yet? Let me know...the reviews I've read have been stellar, so I really look forward to catching it. Bill Murray at his best, they say. Gotta love that guy...)

Happy Friday! Go forth and celebrate appropriately.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Waiting game...

Well, work has picked up...knew it would. They keep giving me more and more to do, and then two of the people that have been helping me with reports and the structure of the reporting left for vacation as of today, so that's fun. One of them dumped a new report on me yesterday afternoon, and I'm just going to have to figure it out, for the most part. I took a few little notes, and I hope I can do it like she showed me, but we'll have to see!

Last night, I went to the Moose after the boyfriend asked me to come up and have a drink with him, and we wound up meeting up with a couple of his friends that dropped by for dinner. It was nice chatting with them. Really interesting people, from what I've seen thus far. It made the boyfriend really happy to have friends just drop by like that. So sweet. When we were getting ready to take off, I told him that he was welcome to come over, if he wanted...but I really wanted to work out this morning, and that might suck for him, as I blast the t.v. in the room next to my bedroom when I walk on the tread...and I have to get up at 5:10 a.m. in order to get it done, too. So he said he'd just go home and "give me the space [I] need". (Earlier, we'd been talking about "The Tao of Steve", as it's a fave for him as well, and I told him I'd been trying to retreat for about 3 weeks now, and just can't bring myself to be able to! So I think he probably was rolling off of that comment I'd made. He's so silly...)

Anyway, work beckons...oh! I also got an interview (through my temp company, of course...it pays for them to love me as much as they do, I swear) at a new company that I'll be going to next week. They need an exec admin for 5 of their executives. Basic admin stuff, with a little MS Publishing thrown in, which would be new to me, but sounds like fun really. It's at some financial company that buys and sells other companies. Sounds fascinating, so I'm looking forward to that. It's also a position that starts in the low $40,000's. Right up my alley, bitches. I'd have to buy a couple of suits, as it's not exactly a casual atmosphere, but that's ok. I'll probably get a new one for the interview this weekend, actually. My old ones are, well, old. Plus, I'm a bit tight in a couple of them right now, so that won't work. One new suit for now won't kill me, budget-wise. Plus, it's been so long since I've bought a suit...

Gotta go...big report I have to do. Bleh!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

It's odd, being here at 8 a.m. for no reason.

You know, once the other temp comes in, I might ask her if I can "shadow" her to see what she's up to, so I can at least learn a bit more to be able to help these folks out. I get here at 8 a.m., at which time everyone that has items for me to do (or so they tell me...) are in a meeting for about 45 minutes. So I sit here with my thumb up my ass, trying to figure out what I can do in the mean time. At least today I have a log-on, so I can blog rather than write out a bunch of shit I never plan on posting. Just a bunch of words, is all it is.

At least it's a paycheck. That is the nice part about it.

Boyfriend and I had a lovely date last night. Went to a fave restaurant and gorged ourselves on dumplings, then tried a new bar in town called "The Drink", which is a ridiculously expensive, somewhat uncomfy place to have a beer. Won't be going back there again, for sure. Then we swung by the liquor store, grabbed some flavored vodka, and headed back to my place to watch "Alfie", which we had rented last week, but hadn't gotten around to watching yet. He liked it, which was a nice surprise. I had thought it was going to be more of a chick flick, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Then we went to bed, had glorious sex (he really shocks me sometimes...), chatted a bit, and then drifted off to sleep.

The only problem is that I didn't get the feeling he was all that ready to go to sleep. Still seemed a bit worked up to me, for some reason. But go to sleep we did. Until about 1:10, at which point I woke and realized I had fallen asleep in a funky position, and needed to turn over. Boyfriend pipes up something about how that was my 11th turn, and do I plan on settling down any time soon? And I'm all, WTF? Now, earlier at dinner, I had asked him if my sleeping habits bothered him at all. I get up often to go to the bathroom, and I flip over a lot, too. Sometimes, I sleep straight through for 4 or 5 hours, but it's somewhat rare. He said he didn't have a problem with the way I moved about. I offered to take Benadryl, even...something to zonk me out. But he said it wasn't necessary. But here we were, about 5 hours later, and he's pissy about me turning over for the first time in the night? GAH! I took a little break...went to the kitchen to get some cool water, and then turned down the air a bit, and climbed back into bed. He was a bit restless for the rest of the night...I offered to get him a different blanket, even, to see if that would help. He just seemed to be having a grumpy sleep, was all.

So this morning, before he left, we talked about it a bit, and he was all, "So I've started being rude in my sleep, eh?" You know, I didn't see it as being so rude, because it was clear that he was half asleep when it happened. (If not totally asleep, and just talking through it somehow.) He told me he sort of remembered it, but thought that I had said something first about him moving around. But I told him I hadn't said anything, and never mind when he moves about.

So we kissed goodbye, and he went off to start his day, and I went to the bathroom one more time before heading out the door (like you do...), and now I'm here at "work" getting ready to go grab some caffeine.

What did we learn from this post? My boyfriend doesn't know when he's being grumpy in his sleep. (Who does, really?) But most importantly, stay the hell away from "The Drink" on 47th and Belleview on the Plaza in Kansas City. $5 for a Boulevard Wheat is highway robbery. Ridiculous....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Break time...

People are working on projects, so I have a bit of downtime right now. Thought I'd update quickly...

Dad got through surgery just fine, according to the Twin. He was happy to see his sister and my twin and her daughters there when he came out of surgery. Twin said that he was all dopey, but that the hospital said he could go home last night, if he really wanted to. I don't know what wound up happening...I'm gonna call later today for an update.

The chick that's working in the room with me was talking about wishing that flying cars existed, because her drive in this morning was just that heinous, apparently. I feel her pain...I went through heinous drives like she goes through daily when I lived in Cali. It sucked, and I wouldn't do it again for less than $100,000 a year, I swear. My drive from Carlsbad to La Jolla each day wiped me out. Work was lucky if I got there by 9, honestly. My drive time now consists of about 10 - 15 minutes, depending on the route I choose. Not bad...

But I don't think that flying cars are the answer, so much. I mean, think what kind of shit people would pull in the air if they do what they do now on the ground! It'd just be wrong. They'd be blaming air traffic controllers for their fender benders, not to mention the additional damage that would definitely occur when accidents happen...I mean, hello? We'd all have to fly at least 300 feet in the air, right? Think of the additional damage that could be done falling from that height! While I agree that the initial thought of flying cars is always a cool one, I know it could just never happen. If it does, I just hope I'm long gone at that point.

And that's all I got. I swear, my life is so mundane right now, it's sickening. But I kind of like it this way, too, you know? It's better than being all confusing and messy and ARGH! all the time, right? That's what I thought...

Monday, August 22, 2005

Hi ho...

My first day went just fine. I didn't have to go in until 9, which was nice, but I lost an hour on the pay that way, so I plan on making up for it later in the week during lunch times. The office is in a really stellar location with free parking, and the people there seem pretty cool, from what I saw today. Apparently, the last person they had on the job was a total waste of space, so they really appreciate my abilities and my eagerness to help them out. Cool. :)

Flip side, my dad is in the hospital tonight. He's been tearing away at his gallbladder for years, and it was bound to come time for him to have it out with the organ all together. Well, they fought all weekend apparently, and he went in today with the expectation of having the stones that had developed removed. But turns out they want to take the whole darned thing out instead. It's fine really. I'm sure he'll be fine. Problem is that he also has a disease called pulmonary fibrosis. It runs in his family...his mother died of it when he was 12, I think, and his brother died of it 2 years ago. (My grandpa died soon after my uncle...it was a sucky time all together, really.) My dad and his younger brother also have the disease, although my father is in a more advanced stage of it. It's not a curable thing...he was given 5 years when they diagnosed him just before Christmas the year his brother died. So the fact that dad is spending the night in a disease-ridden area such as a hospital and he had to have a tube down his throat during the surgery and all is a bit freaky. Twin is keeping me updated. She's at the hospital now, and my older sister is flying in from Texas. I'm not sure why. She worries a lot. I just want to know if he's still planning on heading to the Vegas house this weekend, or if I can send him a card to let him know I'm thinking of him at our house in San Juan Capo. Am I bad kid for that? I mean, I think more along the positive line of things, really. I don't think it's frugal to go rushing out there to be by his side when he's having his gallbladder removed. I'm a dick like that sometimes, though. It's not that I don't love him, and wish that I can talk to him right this minute. It's more about the fact that I have faith that he's not done here yet. He's the strongest man I've ever known. It's really tough to get him down, so I'm pretty sure that this isn't gonna do it. Now, if he develops anything like pneumonia, or something, I'll be hopping on a plane. Because that's how my uncle died 2 years ago.

Anyway...gonna go think of other things right now. Buhbye!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

It's naptime.

Boyfriend is asleep on the couch. I asked him if he didn't just want to go to bed, but he said no. I understand...I fell asleep sitting upright in my chair earlier after I'd come in from 2 hours of yardwork. I was sweaty, and needed to cool down before I showered. I woke up about 10 minutes later, but it was just weird...I never fall asleep while sitting up like that. I must've been pooped!

I don't know what I'm doing with him here, either. He was here last night and the nigth before, and we're just doing what we'd be doing if we were in our own homes anyway. Watching t.v., vegging out after a long day. I guess I was surprised that he wanted to do that over at my house after he got off work today, is all. I told him the other night that I think I love him. He didn't say anything in return. I asked him if it was ok that I'd said it, and he said, "Sure!" Aaaand, that was it. I can't remember how we continued in the conversation, except that he said he was half asleep (it was about 3:45 when I brought it up...but I'd felt all connected with him all of a sudden, was the thing...it was weird), and he also said that he had felt "forced" into the whole "love" thing before, and he didn't want to go through that again. I totally agree with that, really. But a little part of me is pissed that here I am again, feeling more for a guy than he feels for me. Also, it makes me wonder if he's somewhat emotionally unavailable because of shit that's happened in his past. Am I the only person that doesn't let shit that's happened to me in past relationships effect how I feel/behave/deal in current ones? It's really very frustrating at times.

But then again, he wanted to be with me past night, and again tonight, so something must be on the right track.

*sigh!* I hate confusion. So I'm gonna ignore it this time around. A part of me feels that it might be time to "retreat" (go on wich yo bad self, Tao of Steve), but then I have no ability to do so when he calls me to see if he can come over to watch t.v. and hang out at my house for the 3rd night in a row.

I'm stressed, though. I'm taking it out in all sorts of funky ways. I've embedded far too much MS Access info into my brain over the past 3 days, and it makes me worry that I won't be able to do what's asked of me at this new job that starts tomorrow. But then I think to myself, you know? If they don't want the knowledge I DO have, and can't give me time to "ramp-up" and figure out the job, and they want to send me home after the 4-hour trial period without asking me to return on Tuesday, then fuck 'em. I'll find something else. Net/net, I'm sure I can do the job, I've learned a bit (ok, a LOT) about a new computer program that I never knew before, and I'll get paid for 4 hours of work minimum. We'll see what winds up happening...

But in the meantime, I'm a bit stressed. Freaked out. Cold feet have settled in. Bound to happen, really. I'm going to a new place I've never been, to work with people I don't know, and to do God knows what. I'll be fine by tomorrow night, I'm sure.

Right now, I need some Advil, to cuddle up to the boyfriend on the couch, and see if I can't sneak a peek at the Food Network while he's dozing. (He can't stand the way all the chefs chop on the shows I watch. It's very weird...)

Night. Oh, and things a more solid, btw. So gracias to those of you thought good thoughts on behalf of me and my bowel. Much appreciated.

Friday, August 19, 2005

My digestive system sucks.

** The following is a very random post. Just to warn you all...I just read through it before clicking the publish button, and I realized that I sound like I might be on crack. But I'm not. I swear...

If you could all do me a favor, and collectively think happy, solid thoughts about my digestive tract, I'd appreciate it greatly. I don't know what my issue is...maybe I have IBS or something, but lately, all of my shit has been liquified. All. of. it. Maybe I've been partying too much this week. I've been eating a really balanced diet, for the most part, so I just can't pin down what the fuck is going on. But, whatev. I'll survive. My stomach doesn't hurt, or anything, so at least it isn't that bad of a deal to have to work with. But it doesn't seem healthy to me at all, is the thing.

Soooo, I have a temp job that starts on Monday, which is nice. Money is a good thing. It's only $13.50 an hour, but it's also only for 4 - 6 weeks. And with no healthcare being taken out of the checks, and all that good stuff, really, it ought to bring in plenty o' cash to pay the bills. I have to teach myself MS Access over the next couple of days, though. I'm looking forward to learning it, really. There are sample databases that exist in Access on everyone's computer (if you have MS Office, that is), and I bought a Complete Idiot's Guide to MS Access 2000, which is helping me navigate the system and learn it a bit faster, so I'm on top of it. Should be an unusual temp job. One where they actually need me to do work, for chrissakes! Usually, I'm getting paid to sit, read, answer a phone that might ring every now and then, and make a copy here and there...simple shit. But this is in some financial department, and they need me to be "proficient" in both Excel and Access. So we'll see...could be quite a learning experience, I hope.

Oh, and I have a grasshopper invasion occurring in my home. I have had to escort a couple of them from my house today so far...one was little, and the other one was HUGE, and took a flying leap at my head as I went to leave a bit ago. I think it wanted to blind me so that it could easily confuse me, before dismembering me and eating me. It was a really big muthafucka! Scared the hell out of me...which was really a bad idea for it to do just before I ran an errand. Driving was involved, and integration with other Target shoppers was necessary. While I was there (at Target, I mean), I needed help finding the soda aisle. Just then, a worker came along and asked me if I needed help. I laughed (why? I don't know!), and told her no, I didn't need help. Um, yes I did! See, the grasshopper-flying-at-my-head thing really threw me off my game when it came to my errand. Stupid big-ass bug.

Ok, I must get back to my self-tutorial of MS Access. Woo! Oh, and don't forget to think nice thoughts about my bowel. We (being me and my bowel, because right now, I like to think of it as being a separate entity apart from my body, as it clearly needs some time to itself) sincerely appreciate it. Love yoouuu!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Diet lime vodka and pepsi...

Yeah. I'm a bit tipsy. Had a few at the Moose before heading home, and starting in on the fridge. I'm now drinking Diet Pepsi w/ lime and vodka. Just don't do it if you don't have to, is my advice. I wanted something, so I did it. Won't do it again any time soon, that's fo sho.

The retro-active alternative "radio" on my t.v. is playing Fascination Street, tho, and that's always fun. I'm smokin' a clove, and drinking my rank drink, and rolling through the blogs that I've been missing out on these last few days since I've been out of the office. Lyn sounds like she had fun on her road trip to Santa Cruz (love that town!), Lushy is trying to figure out what to give the ex for a b-day gift (I'm all for the blow-up doll thing, btw...:P), and Statia is in Florida...good job, girl! (It's a password protected blog...sorry!) The boyfriend's friend's wife said hello yesterday (didn't know she was into blogging! She's on Myspace, which is weird for me, and I hope I linked her right...), and I have to say that I'm glad that Julie is back up and running, and keeping us up to date on her activities.

God I love blogging. And Diet Pepsi w/ lime and vodka. It's growing on me, I think. Just needed a bit o' time, apparently.

Ooh! INXS is on now! "This tiiiiiime! Will be the last tiiiiiime! That we will fight like this! HEY!"

And since I've been trying to link and do all the "work" it takes to get this post where I want it to go, I've heard some Bowie, Cuture Club, and now Tears for Fears "Change" is up. Retro-active hasn't been this lovely in a while.

Ugh. I think I'll go pass out now. (Berlin's "No More Words"! Gonna sing that before hitting the sheets, baby...)

It's like a little vacation...

Well, I've been jobless for 4 days now. It feels weird...I've had lots to do, I s'pose. That's helped to make it seem less like I'm a lump of a person doing absolutely nothing with her life. I've helped my boyfriend buy new shoes, done some yard work, recorded my voice over demo (which went SUPER well, in my opinion...), hung out with friends, shopped for a new printer, talked with the temp agency about a possible job...it's been a rather productive week, actually.

The recording was very interesting. I was a little nervous, but the practice I've been doing really paid off, I think. My diction was right on, my speed of speech was fine, and the guy that did the recording was great with his direction on some of the spots we recorded. He should be, since he's the owner of the studio, and has been doing this since 1965...but he was just sooo friendly and helpful. He charged me less per hour for the recording and editing of the demo than I expected, so that was nice. I'm sending the demo to the Twin today to get her opinion on whether any changes need to be made before I give the thumbs up to the recording studio to burn more that I can take out to audio and video houses in town. I like it, I think. But the guy who recorded it told me to give it a week before I make final decisions. (I recorded a copy on tape that I can listen to after I send the CD to the Twin, and having another copy burned only costs $7, so no biggy there...)

I sounded a bit more raspy than I expected. I told that to the guy doing the recording, and he asked me if I smoke at all. I told him I'm a light smoker...about a pack to a pack and a half a week. He said it's odd, but he doesn't know a voice over artist that doesn't smoke. Heh. :) I actually didn't smoke at all the day before I went in, and only had a couple of cigarettes on Monday night. Last night I only had a couple, and it's bugging me today. I might cut back, I think. We'll see.

Last night, some friends of the boyfriend were in town, so we all went out to dinner and then went to Buzzard Beach for $.75 PBR drafts. That stuff is just ghastly. But it was cheap...oh, it was only for the girls, though. Guys had to pay full price. We were there until about 12:45, and the special ended at midnight, so I started drinking Bud Light instead. That was when the bartender told me that Bud Lights were only $.75 until midnight as well. Dammit. :P

We played pool against a couple of seriously fucked up weird guys when we first got to the bar. They were hanging out with a girl that was rather pretty, but oh, so dumb. I felt bad for her, really. (At one point, I told the wife of my boyfriend's friend that my beer tasted metallic, and the dumb girl overheard me and said with a big grin, "Yeah, cheap beer always does." Bleh...that's not something to smile about, honey!) We only played the one game against them, and they won, not that I cared much about that. We were there to play the shuffleboard game they had, and that became available to us about halfway through our pool game, so we played it for the rest of the night. It was fun! Boyfriend and I beat his friends in two games. Then a couple of other people came up that wanted to play, so we moved to a pool table to have a final game, and then went to grab burritos before heading home.

Last night, I made the stupid mistake of asking the boyfriend's friends how I line up in his list of girlfriends. I did this the other night when he and I were out with his other friend on his birthday, and it didn't seem to bother the boyfriend very much. But last night, his other friend that he's known for quite some time (they went to college together) started talking about the one girl the boyfriend had been engaged to at one point, and the boyfriend heard him talking about her, and it really seemed to tick him off. I felt so stupid for asking the question at that point, not that I was asking for anything more than the confirmation that I'm a good match for the boyfriend, in his friends' opinions. But really, it's very immature and somewhat insecure of me to do, so I shouldn't have done it. The boyfriend left to go to the bathroom when I asked him if he was mad at me. His friend's wife asked her hubby to go talk to him, and she and I chatted a bit about how stupid I felt. She understood where I was coming from...at least she said she did, and I believe her. And when the boys came back from the bathroom, the boyfriend laid a kiss on me, so I knew everything was fine, really. I didn't bring it up again.

While he and his friend were off chatting, I told the wife of his friend that one of the other regulars from the Moose had leaned over to me the other night as I was gathering my things together to go sit with the boyfriend after he'd gotten off work, and whispered in my ear, "You can do better..." I just looked at her and shook my head. I appreciate what she was saying, but I know she would never understand if I told her in response to such an inane statement that I really can't. This is the best I've ever found. While we completely disagree on all things political and religious, I've never found someone that treats me as though I'm one of the most important things in their life, next to food and the air they breathe. Lord only knows if it'll work out, but I'm pushing for it to, that's for damned sure. Not that I have to push at all. We just seem to understand each other's needs, which is so comforting and nice to deal with. Plus, he's goal oriented, mature in the right ways (and immature in the right ways...), and when he peers at me over the top of his glasses, it makes me want to jump him in public.

So for anyone who thinks I can "do better", lemme assure you that I can't imagine anything better than this.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The nerves are gonna get me...

I haven't been in a recording studio in years. I'm so excited, but I'm trying to see it as just a day's work, too...one that I'm paying myself for, of course. :) Just trying to send myself in there with the thought that if this is what I'm meant to do, then it'll be just fine, no matter what. Slip-ups will happen. That's what editing is for. Someone will direct me a bit, and help me sound as good as I can on the demo. That's why I pay them, right? Still, a collective crossing of fingers for me might be super-helpful.

The boyfriend's birthday went well, by the way. Bought him a lovely dinner, went to a couple of bars to play pool and then air hockey (which I still kick MAJOR ass at, even though it's been years since I played. I beat both the boyfriend and his friend that was out with us in 6 straight games...I ROCK!!), and then had late-night burritos before heading to bed at about 1:30. It was fun. Then we spent the day together yesterday...I need a new fan in my bedroom and I need a printer for my computer (did you know you can get a printer/copier/scanner for only $70?? I didn't. I'm stoked!), so we just shopped around, and I'll be heading out after my recording to go buy the one I saw at Best Buy. Still didn't find a proper fan, though. That's gonna get on my nerves.

So, I'd better go finish getting ready. I'll let you all know how it went when I'm done. Wheeee!!!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Weird bug!!!

I started out my day by doing a bit of yard work that's been put on the back-burner (literally) lately, what with it being so hot for the past couple of weeks, and then it rained all weekend this week. And dude...there are the weirdest bugs in my yard. Gah!! How do people actually ENJOY gardening?? Gah, gah, GAHHHH!!

Yep...I was running around screaming and throwing my tools every now and then. I felt pretty stupid. But they were WEIRD ASS BUGS!!!

So then I came inside to cool down, and pay my bills, and decided to look into the sweater I ordered from Anthropologie last week. It still hadn't been charged to my credit card. Which means they hadn't shipped it. So I'm all, WTF? So I call customer service just now, and apparently it's on backorder, and they'll be getting a shipment in within the next couple of weeks. Ok. That's cool.

But then the chick says they're only getting 8 of them at that time (because apparently, it's just myself and about another 100 women across the US that like to shop there, or something, so they just ordered 8 of these incredibly cute sweaters...), and she said that I'm in the backorder group that won't be receiving the shipment of the sweater until fucking OCTOBER!! Um, yeah. Half of Autumn is over at that point, and I'll be in a coat anyway, dammit. Why would I still want the sweater if I can't even wear it until next fucking Spring/Fall? How dumb is that?

So I wrote them an e-mail and complained about how they don't send e-mail notifications when something is on backorder, and then apparently, I couldn't get any proof that I'd cancelled my order either. So I told them they were dumb. Because they are. Ordering 8 of those fucking sweaters, when they're as cute as they are. Soooo stupid.

Oh, and Madonna was on The View this morning? Is this a day full of WTF? Very strange.

I must head in and shower now. It's the boyfriend's birthday. We're s'posed to get together at some point. I sure hope dinner is bug-free, and that none of the food we order is unavailable when we really want it.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Runnin' up that hill...

Well. Here we are. The last day. I can't believe it...I seriously cannot. believe. it.

But I bet I will in about, oh, say 4 hours. Yep. Fo fuckin' sho.

Things are quiet. The coworker and I have a few more things to go over, I have a few more things to clean up (including my e-mail archives...cleaned out my C-drice yesterday, so that's all done, and the internet history will happen just before I hit the road), and then I can walk out of here like I never was here in the first place. Amazing.

Last night with the coworkers was fun. Tonight, I'll be back at the same place, doing the same thing, but with my friends this time, and with a pre-season Chiefs game on in the background. Good times.

Oh, and the voice over demo didn't get recorded yesterday...the guy who runs the studio had a death in the fam, so we rescheduled for next Wednesday. Fine with me...gave me more time to practice and I can go in the middle of the day, which is better for everyone all around anyway. I'm really very excited about it all, to put it mildly.

That is all for now. What an interesting week...started out with my bowels doing the funky corn dance, then descended into a bunch of "can't believe it!" and "say it isn't so!" e-mails from long-time (and some shorter time, too) coworkers from all over this great land o' ours, and is ending up where it always does, really. Just...with a twist, I spose.

Happy Friday, all. Enjoy the day.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I HATE my big boobs...

Grr! My upper back hurts! I hate big boobs. I'd like to wake up tomorrow and be back to just being a full C cup. That is my wish for today.

Tonight, I'm heading to the Moose for $1.50 beers, and apparently, if people from work want to come and say their good-bye's, they will be doing so tonight. I doubt too many people will show, but it's where I'll be, so hopefully some will be there. I heard from a manager that's a friend to me, and happens to be a really sweet person, that another manager said they were glad I'm leaving. He's the only one that's said anything like that, that I'm aware of at this point. I don't really want to be aware of any others, though. It makes me want to drive to St. Louis and toilet paper his house. And while I will have the time to do that next week, I can't imagine how much work it'd be to...no, fuck it. I soooo wish I could toilet paper his house! Who wants to join me? C'mon!! How long has it been since you toilet-papered a house? That's what I thought! Now get your ass to Kansas City, and we'll hit it on Monday. It's only a 4-hour drive from here, and we can make a fun road trip out of it, really. I can fit 3 other people in my car. So that's my limit, I'm afraid. First 3 to pipe-up can come.

WOO! Toilet-paper party!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

It's been a while since I meme'd...

Here we go. (Found via Lushy...)

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
My hair. Absolutely…

2. How much cash do you have on you right now?
About $32. (Oh, and 10 cents.)

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Fest

4. Favourite plant?
Favorite plant? Really? I like many different types of shrubberies. Mostly because I love the word “shrubbery”. But I don’t know that I have a fave plant. I do know I hate rosemary bushes. They attract bees. So they can fuck off.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
It’s a “PRIVATE” caller. Which means it was the Twin.

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
It’s a little “doodle-doodle-doodle, doodle-doodle-doodle, doo!” type ring. I don’t download rings, and I’m a rather generic type of girl, when it comes to that sort of thing. My phone doesn’t chirp, or have the super-loud, kind of annoying old-fashioned ring sound to it. It doesn’t play any Usher songs, or have any phrases that repeat when it rings. It’s kind of blah.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
My Gap fake-wrap shirt in pink. To match my shoes. Because I’m sooo fucking cute that way.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Absolutely. I am Kick-ass Faith. Ask everyone…they’ll agree. :P

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
Rampage

10. Do you prefer a bright or dark room?
Dark.

11. What did you have for breakfast?
A tuna sammich.

12. Mysteriously missing. It's the question that goes unanswered.
I swear, this is in the meme. What’s the point?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Der! Sleeping…

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
This isn’t the last one, but it’s one of the funniest ones I’ve gotten in the last few days. I’d better tell you the whole “conversation”, so it makes a bit more sense…
Boyfriend: “I want u on top of me right now! Im so hard I cannot stop fucking the 3 holes in the wall!” (It’s from a Mr. Show episode we watched last week…it made sense to me.)
My reply: “Aw! U r sooo romantic! I miss you too.”
Boyfriend: “Ok romantic, all I need r ur kisses 2 keep my hard on from going away”

He’s the bee’s knees, I tell ya. Cracks me up when I get those messages!

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
Huh uh.

16. What's an expression that you say a lot?
Fucking a!

17. Who told you they loved you last?
Dad

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Heh. Myself. ;P

19. How many hours a week do you work?
I’m just gonna leave this one blank for now.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Um, none. This is an odd question. Is it normal for people to have lots of rolls of film lying about needing to be developed? I mean, you finish the roll, you take it in, and you have the pics printed, right? So WTF?

21. Favourite age you have been so far?
28 through 30 was alright. Plenty o’ cash, lots o’ sex, bought a house, made some new friends, laid out a plan for my future. Yep…those were some decent years. (Sorry, I can’t say which one was any better than the others, really, so I’m choosing them all. :P)

22. Your worst enemy?
Ranch. Dressing. Hands down, my worst enemy ever. I WILL AVENGE THEE, RANCH DRESSING!! WATCH YO BACK, MUTHAFUCKA!

Ok, just kidding, ranch! Don't hate me...really, I'll be your best friend forever if you just continue to be as delicious as you always have been. love yoouuu!

23. What is your current desk top picture?
I’m not allowed to change my desktop from the regular company logo that’s on it. Because I currently work for a company that employs nazis to work it’s tech department.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
”I have to pee.”

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose?
The money. If we didn’t make mistakes, how could we possibly learn anything? No regrets, man. None at all.

Oh jeezy...here we go!

We've finally told the managers in our region about my resignation. I just sent a note out to everyone to sort of let them know (some managers have been told in meetings they've been in for the past two days, others were unaware until I sent the note), and to give them a new guide to follow that has different info in it (i.e. my name has been removed from it, and replaced with my coworker's name in some cases, since she'll be performing many of my old duties until they find a replacement...), and the e-mails have started coming in already! People are shocked, and they can't believe it, and one guy even said, "I was just starting to like you!" Yeah, he can fuck right off, but everyone else is cool, and it's going to be hard to leave them, that's for sure!

It's also going to be hard to leave a paycheck. Scary, scary. But I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be fine...

2.5 days, and counting...

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

What would you do?

Ok, just now, I saw a dime on the floor in the ladies' room while I was doin' my bidness.

If you were me, would you have picked the dime up? Or would you have left it there for some other happless, money-grubbin', grossness lovin' chick to pick it up?

Tell me in the comments. And I'll tell you later what I did about the dime. And you'd better comment, you buggars...y'all have been far too quiet lately. :P

Monday, August 08, 2005

By the way...

Can someone please help me to stop buying the 5 ears o' sweet corn when I'm at the supermarket? You know, the kind that are prepackaged, and shrink-wrapped while half-husked, so as to show off and tempt me with their yummy deliciousness as I walk by them in their little stand in the middle of the produce department? It's irrisistable to me, and I wind up buying them, cooking up enough corn to last me for 2 weeks, and then when I realize it's about to go bad, I start eating it in large quantities. Quantities that shouldn't be consumed all at once, according to my lower-intestine.

Yesterday, I ate a lot of random stuff. Some chips and salsa, a salad with yummy caesar dressing (Gerards...mmmm...), half of a baked potato with bbq sauce on it, some white cheddar Cheez-its (a.k.a. the most delicious spawn of Satan, ever...), a plum, and then decided at about 4 p.m. that a plate of corn sounded good. So I heated up about 3/4 of a cup of the corn I cooked up last week, and which was calling out to me to be eaten before it has a chance to go bad, and poured a little hot sauce on it (Crystal, in case anyone cares what my preference for hot sauce is...), and then ate it with a vengeance. I then proceded to go meet the boyfriend at the Moose, where I had the BEST bowling game ever, consumed a few beers, and then we went home to watch a movie before we hit the sack.

And then the corn came to visit. Well, really it had been warning me all night. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be happy. And it wasn't. What the FUCK was I thinking eating all that corn, and then not eating anything else for the rest of the night? Not only was I starving by the time I got out of the house this morning, but then I didn't think I'd even make it all the way to the office before my ass exploded in my car. Fortunately, I managed to get here without issue (elevators never seemed to go so slow before...it was excrutiating!), but I'll tell you what...I will NOT be eating corn again for a while. Or a caesar salad, for that matter. And the Cheez-its are almost gone, so once I polish them off, that'll be it for a while.

Damned delicious sweet corn.

Heh.

I don't know what this man is thinking. My boss wrote me an e-mail this morning that said, "Have you had a change of heart yet, I hate to see you go?"

Heh.

I wrote him back and said that I hate to go, too, and I'm scared to death. But that I had to stick to my convictions, and am too disappointed in a management team that would base their decision about my raise on something that someone says about me when that person only has worked with me for a month. Especially when there are about another 150 employees in this company that can speak for my excellence and ability in my job.

I just can't believe that he thinks I'm going to be changing my mind! I guess he must think I'm sooo much weaker than I obviously am. It's sad, really.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sickening. Again.

I don't deserve this man. He's made a habit of leaving flowers on my car when I'm at the restaurant. Last week, it was a double-bud baby rose that was short on the stem, but stayed alive for the last week, until I decided to take it out of water and dry it. Tonight, it was a great BIG pink rose that is in full bloom, and now it's in a vase all by it's lonesome on my kitchen table. I'll dry it, too. It's so pretty!

I keep thinking I don't deserve him, but I know that I've gone through soooo much before getting to this point. I'm falling for him. And how.

I'm gonna go throw up now...:P

Friday, August 05, 2005

Irony

I received notification today that someone awarded me with an Outstanding Contribution Award from my company in the amount of $50.

Weird.

I just redeemed it for a $25 gift certificate from the Gap, and a $25 gift certificate from Bath & Body. Because they are the two places I shop the most, and where I want the most stuff from, I've found. Except right now, I really want some new shoes. I need to figure out where I can get some...

I have no idea who submitted me for the reward, or why I got it. But I didn't waste ANY time redeeming that muthafucka!!

Free money is always a good thing...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

See, I'm doing it already...

When I woke up yesterday, I asked the new boyfriend what time he wanted to wake up. He usually doesn't get out of bed until about 7:30 when he has to work at 8, so when he said, "7..." I figured he just didn't finish what he meant to say. So I go in at about 7:35 (I let time get away from me...), and wake him up, and he looks at the time, and gets all wide-eyed, and rolls his ass out of bed really quickly. I mean, I'm 5 minutes from the Moose, and he's a boy, so I figure all is ok. And he didn't really say anything. But, because my brain is on constant overdrive, I figure he's "mad" at me (i.e. not really mad, but just upset that he didn't have more time to wake up before having to shoot out the door to head to work), except he does stop to give me a kiss before he heads out, which is nice. It's always nice...

Anyway, he has some friends that are in town this week, and we hung out with them on Monday and Tuesday (and much fun was had), and since they were planning on leaving to go home today, I figured that he'd be hanging out with them again last night, so I didn't expect him to call, or anything. But he always does. And he didn't. He didn't even send me a text message, which is what he usually does.

So I'm here thinking that he's definitely pissed about the not-waking-him-up thing the other day.

But you know what? He's not. I know he isn't. And my brain is just trying to sabatoge me and make me feel all self-conscious and stupid-girl over this and shit. I mean, the other night, he asked me if I could love someone as goofy as he is. I just stared at him with a smile on my face, not knowing what to say. I mean, "love"? Sure! In a junior high, I-can-see-our-names-fitting-together-perfectly, kind of way. But as a grown up? Hi. Yeah...it's only been 3 and a half weeks since our first date. Love isn't on the table for me yet. But it was cute that he asked me such a thing. And it's right up my alley...I keep wondering to myself about how I can be falling for such a goofy guy. He just has enough non-goof that makes him even more endearing, I guess.

Anyway...

My problem here is the brain on overtime. Again. Trying to convince me of something that isn't the case. And today I sent him a text that said I missed him last night, mostly because I thought it was something sweet that'd make him feel good to hear, but also because it was true. And he wrote back that he has to close tonight, so he won't be able to stay over again. And the brain turns that into a brush-off type of thing, because he closed last Thursday, and he still came over when he was done. But maybe it's catching up to him too...this whole staying up late, waking up early, ohmygod when the hell am I ever gonna sleep again thing. Because it's catching up to me. But I'm old, so it makes sense that it caught up to me faster than him. But the brain is still sitting here trying to convince me that he's mad about yesterday morning (which would be ridiculous, and is sooo not him), and that he's not sleeping over tonight because of it.

*sigh!*

Hi. I'm a girl. Pleased to meetcha.

So here's what happened...

So I went in to get some things signed by the boss yesterday morning, and as I'm leaving he asks me if I wanted to talk about what had happened. (We hadn't seen each other since I sent my resignation letter to him on Monday...he'd been at a meeting Monday afternoon, and then flew to St. Louis on Tuesday morning, so yesterday was our first chance to discuss it all in person.) I said ok, and sat back down.

He then proceded to tell me that his boss simply wouldn't approve it, and his decision was based on the fact that people had told him my attitude was bad. Negative, condescending tones, etc...And this has been discussed before in my reviews each year. Yes, I said, I remember, and I've made quite an effort to correct the issues. And why does my boss's boss believe this about me? Well, his admin, who I've worked with for about a month, told him.

Ok. Bitch, what? I have sent reports when she requested them, offered suggestions on how to deal with the AP department on a conference call we had with all the other admins in the division, and have expressed to her that I am so very sorry that some of my reports have been late, or that I didn't know about them at all because they're new to me, and I'm not used to them, and I was sorry to have inconvenienced her even more. She's replied that the division adjustment (we used to be in a different division of the country up until July 1) was hard on all of us, for sure, and that she understood.

So where the FUCK does she come off telling her boss that I've been "difficult to work with"? I mean, where the FUCK????? So I hear that from my boss, and I get pissed right off the bat, and I tell him I'm sorry, and I walk out of the office to calm down. I was that mad. So I start to cry in the goddammed stairwell, and have to come back in for tissues, and then I call him back to his office to talk some more about what BULLSHIT this is. I told him I have worked on my attitude, and that he can even ask the new guy who was afraid to call me (because he's so very, very dumb, and I had to get used to it. Now that I am, I'm not condescending when he and I talk any more), because even HE would tell him that everything is fine now. But nothing doing.

And that's that. Apparently, the fact that I do my job well, consistently, am a valuable employee to the company due to my loyalty and work ethic and ability means absolutely nothing. Because this bitch that I don't even KNOW says that I've been difficult to work with, I don't get my raise I asked for and deserve.

Oh, and by the way, this same bitch called up my coworker one day and yelled at her about the information on the report she'd sent to her being wrong, and they needed to fix it, and they sat there for 5 minutes, I shit you not, going over the numbers. I could hear my coworker behind me trying to understand where this bitch was seeing what she was seeing, and then suddenly, the bitch realized she was looking at the info for a totally different region. Um, hello dumbass! And she'd been yelling at my coworker because she was making a mistake!! Now, she apologized both on the phone and in an e-mail, but can we turn around and look at who might be difficult to work with, perhaps?

There was one e-mail transaction that I had with her that made me think she was a bitch-and-a-half. I asked for her help, she told me that our bosses had discussed the issue I needed help with, and that was all she told me. So I told her that was great but I hadn't been included in the conversation and was being approached for info, so did she have any? And she replied back that "again", our bosses had discussed it, and I needed to speak to my boss about it if I wanted more info. Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot for the help. Bitch.

You know, there are some of us that go above and beyond to help each other out. And then there are those of us that sit around and wait to tear people apart if we can. Now I know which type she is!

One of my favorite new quotes, which I find immensely applicable in the activites of late:


"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." — Samuel Johnson, Rasselas, ch. 41

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

It all balances itself, someway or another...

Thank God for the new boyfriend. It's really helpful for me to have someone to (a) take my mind off of the work shit lately, (b) talk to about said work shit when I need to, and (c) confide in about my being scared to DEATH of all the changes that are coming up in my life. Plus, he buys me dinner and he got me a CD last night because he feels I should have it. (It was Modest Mouse's last album, and he's right...I did need to get it.)

I can't believe I'm going to plug through another 7.5 days knowing what I know, dealing with the shit I need to deal with, and trying to be as devoted to it as always. After the discussion I had with the boss this morning, it's just going to be much harder than I thought it would be. (I'll tell you what, though...if they thought my "attitude" was bad before, they don't even KNOW what they've unleashed at this point! I'm telling people right out that they're misreading things, and that they need to know where to refer to in case I'm ever "out of the office". Because after next week, they won't be able to rely on me to babysit them any more.)

Actually, the thought of that just put a huge smile on my face. Maybe this'll be easier than I thought.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

There just isn't much to say on this one...

I turned in my resignation yesterday. It's been a month since I asked for the promotion and raise, and ever since then, all I was getting was the run-around. The new boss is trying to blame it on the upper management, but I simply cannot fathom them saying no to an extra $2,400 per year for me when they agree to the insane things they agree to for bringing new sales people on board. (However, if that is the case, then I'll tell you, this is NOT a company I want to work for any more anyway...) I have a gut feeling that the new boss never even approached upper management with my request. But no one can ever really know for sure on that. All I do know is that he's telling my coworker that he was told "no" by the upper management, and basically he was afraid to tell me, and that's why he hasn't been responding to my requests for resolution.

So I'm out of here. In two weeks. Because the company couldn't bring themselves to pay me an extra $200 (gross) per month. Fucking bastards.

Monday, August 01, 2005

No...no I don't. Go 'way...

I've got that "Smoke Two Joints" song stuck in my head right now, and I haven't the foggiest idea why. I don't smoke two joints ever. Not in the morning, not at night. Not at a time of peace or in a time of war. I don't smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then smoke two more. (That just seems really excessive to me, by the way. I mean, is that even safe?) I've never ever even wanted to smoke a single joint, much less two.

So out of my head with ye, song of nonsense! Go the fuck away now...

Maybe a Diet Coke will help. Mmm...Diet Coke. My personal drug of choice.