Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Gosh, I hope they call me for a second date!

I swear, the interview I went on today left me feeling as though I'd just had the best first date EVER, and now I'm all giddy waiting to see what's gonna happen.

Should I e-mail her to let her know I really appreciated her taking the time to meet with me, or is that gonna seem needy and pushy? I don't want to come off sounding like a desperate job-stalker, or something. But it really would be a great fit for me. It's in a good location, they can pay me what I'm asking, AND they pay a quarterly bonus based on the commission earned by the people I'd be assisting (yes!!! FINALLY!!! A position that recognizes that the management can't do their jobs effectively without the support of their administrative staff!!!), and it's in a new field I'm interested in learning about, and it's a co-admin position, so there'd be someone else to turn to and to help out and all that good stuff. I love those sorts of positions.

She has two more interviews to get through...then she's gonna call everyone tomorrow to let them know what's up. I'm seriously hoping that my call will be the one where she says, "Ok, when can you start?" It should be perfect timing since the other job I've been interviewing for wanted until the end of the week to make their decision. So if this one falls through, I still have a chance at the other one. And if that one falls through, well, it might be the sign that I need to start selling flowers on street corners, I s'pose.

On a totally different note, I simply had to watch Dr. Phil the other day, and although I'm not proud of making that admission, just hear me out on this one. He had people on the show that had gotten prego in order to "trap" their mate into marrying them/staying with them. This has always been an interesting concept to me. I'm too afraid that the person I'm with is going to leave me...I'd better get pregnant so they won't go! That's a good idea!! Bring a CHILD into the whole mess! FanTAStico. But Dr. Phil had a couple on that had a little twist to their case. Instead of it being the woman that failed to take her birth control one day, it was Mr. Pud who decided that he would impregnate his girlfriend so she wouldn't leave him. And his plan worked. He said he didn't have a condom one night when they were all hot and heavy, she allowed the fucking to continue after he promised to pull out before anything spermish happened, and - let's guess what happened next, shall we? - yeah, he didn't fucking pull out. (Not that that method works at all, folks. Seriously...it's the retard's method of contraception. If that's how you plan on keeping from getting pregnant, you might as well go ahead and find a good OB/Gyn right away, and paint the extra room in your house yellow...) So she got prego. And then they got married. They had another kid after that, and then suddenly, she was pregnant AGAIN after a while with their 3rd kid. She couldn't figure that one out, though. She and Mr. Pud hadn't had sex for months, so how did she get pregnant? Well, this is the charming part of the story. Turns out, Mr. Pud had been attempting to have sex with her while she was sleeping!! "She's a really heavy sleeper...I thought it was funny!" Um, yeah, asshat? Even if you're doing that sort of thing with your wife, it's still not consentual, and it's called rape, mkay?

But on the flip side of that, this chick did decide to marry the asshat after he first deceived her, and for some reason, she never took control of her own body by obtaining some goddammed birth control, either.

And that, my friends, is what fascinates me about certain folks in this world. Crazy, crazy people walking around, taking their shit out in the open on Dr. Phil and all. Amazing. Makes me want to close myself into my house, and never have contact with the outside ever again. Unless it's for the cool job in the fun office that I visited today. You're really cute, Nifty Admin Job, and I hope we can see each other again soon! I felt a connection there...did you feel it, too? Hope so! Call me, kay? Bye!!!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

My computer is evil and hates me...

Sorry for the lack of posting. The computer we have is acting up lately, and wouldn't allow me to turn it on at all yesterday. Tenacity and threats are the only thing that's gotten it up and running as of today, and it seems it's gonna need a trip to the doctor later to figure out what it's problem is, which sucks because then I'll be without a computer for at least 24 hours. No tech support over the phone? Nope. Apparently not. Oh well...

First things first: does anybody know the best way to keep a piece of a sectional couch from scootching itself around on a wooden floor? The corner piece of my couch continuously disengages itself from the little rubber thingies I put on it's wooden "feet", and then it starts sliding all over the fucking place. The little rubber thingies stay on the "feet" for about 2 months, and then they just lose their stick, or something, and the section is prone to moving about anyway due to it's position in the couch itself, and I'm starting to lose my mind over it, really. It's not easy to get under it in order to replace the rubber thingies, so simply sticking new ones on every couple of months isn't an option I'm willing to face just yet. I did come up with a brilliant idea (I thought, anyway) to tie the legs of the section that's moving to the legs of the sections that don't move right next to it, but that failed miserably. So I need new options. I'm gonna head to Home Depot later, I think, so lemme know whatcha think in the comments section ASAP, if you will. Gracias mucho.

Have a job possibility that is looking promising, but received a call yesterday from someone I sent my resume to a week or two ago, and have another interview on Wednesday now as well. I don't know which job is going to work out, if any do at all, but I'm seriously hoping that one of them pans out. Having no money (especially around the holidays) = suckage.

Not much else going on here. I've been incredibly bored over the last couple of days. Right now, I'm happy to be able to pay a bill or two online, move some more money from my savings to my checking, and update this here space with a new post, but that's about it. In my attempts to keep from worrying about my current situation so much, it seems I've sort of lobotomized for the time being. But hopefully that'll all be over soon. Because this boring ass version of myself is getting on my nerves.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The hangover's gone, but now we get TORNADOS??

Great. Tornados are heading right for Kansas City. We've got about an hour before the tornadic weather hits us full-on.

Gotta love tornados in almost-December. Because it makes so much sense, really. Jeezy.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Hot or not...

Conversation had last night while viewing that current Victoria's Secret commercial with the perfect chicks wandering about in their bras and underwear:

Me: That's what I want for Christmas...one of those.
Boyfriend: The bra or the underwear?
Me: No, one of those bodies. I want one of those, please.
Boyfriend:...
Me: Come on! All women want to be as hot as that!
Boyfriend: No...you're fine the way you are. Besides, if you were hot like that, you'd leave me. No girl that hot would be with a guy like me.
Me: Huh. So, are you saying you're with me because I'm fat?
Boyfriend:...
Me: And if I was as hot as that, I'd still be with you, because I love you, and we belong together, so there. I just wish I could have a body like that.
Boyfriend: I LOVE your body like it is! You ARE hot, baby!
Me:...
Boyfriend: And you're not fat.
Me: Yeah, I know. I'm sure that Victoria's Secret really would put a chick like me in one of those commercials, but I never go in for those casting calls, so it's my fault I suppose.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

This sucks.

I hate being unemployed.

That is all.

**Update: I did realize one good thing, though. I can wear sweats all day long, if I want to. Dammit.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Working on working

Have a couple of possible job leads as of this morning. Send me good ju-ju, kay?

Weekend was very weekendish. Everything just kind of blends into itself when you don't have a job to go home from on a Friday and to return to on a Monday. So really, it was just a bit more exciting because football was on. USC won. Notre Dame won. Chiefs won. The universe is gaining some sort of balance through all of this, I'm sure of it. (Many of you probably didn't know about football's ability to balance the universe, did you? Well, now you know...)

Hanging blinds in the bedroom today, hopefully, with the help of boyfriend. Tonight, we're going on a date. Which will be nice. I'm really looking forward to it. Can't wait to see where we end up for dinner. But he said, "We're going someplace new..." Yay!

Gotta run...must call one of the job leads to chat and see what they need and if I fit the requirements. While the job is sort of far away (about a 40 minute drive), I can't really be all that picky at this point, and it offers me the ability to possibly move into a sales position eventually, from what I understand. Sounds good to me! Have a good Monday...

Friday, November 18, 2005

Aunghmfstflyhhmfff....

Can't move....raked entire front lawn today to please the neighbors and make my house look less trashy again. Hands hurt. Legs hurt. Back huuuurttts.

But my lawn and front of the house looks nice again! Go me! (Ooh! Just realized my feet hurt too! Aces.)

Gonna go soak away some of the pain in a nice, hot shower now. Auuugggghhhhh.....I SO earned a beer tonight, dammit!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thursday suckday

Still too cold to go outside without any purpose to doing so.

Still no responses on any of the resumes I've sent out this week.

My ass is leaking from the Chinese dumplings I ate last night for dinner, which makes just one more thing I can't eat any more. Dammit.

I shaved my legs this morning, but there wasn't any point to doing so, since it's cold enough in my house to keep goosebumps permanently in place on all parts of the body, including my hands. Didn't think it was possible? Try turning your thermostat down to 65 degrees and using a space heater to heat 600 square feet of space, and see what kinds of goosebumps you get.

Just called the stepmom to get her advice as to when I should talk to my dad about not being able to make my 6-month's worth of car payments that I owe him right now. She suggested tomorrow morning. Then, because I'm so cool, I started crying. She offered to send me money, which was NOT the object of the whole thing. I said she should do no such thing...but I appreciated the offer. I just explained to her that it's frustrating not being able to find a new job, and having my temp company totally crap out on me like they have. And I feel terrible about not being able to pay dad like I should. I'm gonna offer to send a bit of what I owe him, which should help. But I just know I'm gonna cry. And I hate it when I do that.

Can't wait until later when I can use my free "money" at the Moose to buy a couple of cheap beers and some dinner. Because I need to see my friends. And it's fun to see the boyfriend in his white chef's coat.

Now I'm gonna go try to hang some mini-blinds in my house. I say "try", because I've attempted to do so before, and was not successful. My curtains in my bedroom let through a LOT of light, though, and it's obnoxious. So I really need to hunker down on the instructions and figure out how to hang the damned things. Wish me luck.

The fact that it is almost the end of the week loses all meaning when one doesn't have a job to go to. But there's always football to look forward to. So here, here! The weekend is almost upon us! Something to cheer about, indeed. :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Power's out

Lost power again for the second time in as many months last night. I woke up out of a dream where I was making fun of yet another ring tone my boyfriend had chosen for his cell phone (for the record, he swears he doesn't choose them, but rather says he doesn't know how to change them...he needs to figure it all out. Soon.), which was this annoying, loud, constant beep. Turned out, the beep was real...it was my house alarm going off, letting me know there was "trouble". First thought was that there was a burglar in the house, and I went to grab my flashlight, which is a maglight that weighs about 10 pounds, and could put the hurt on someone in a serious way if their head came into contact with me swinging it in the air. Then I asked the boyfriend to please be awake while I figured out what was going on, as I realized that the power was out, and that's why the alarm was giving me the "trouble" signal. I entered my code into the alarm to make it shut up, grabbed my cell phone (just in case I had to run for cover under my house in the crawlspace or something, and needed to call the authorities from there), and started my house-wander. Boyfriend was useless, as he promptly fell right back to sleep again after I asked him to please be awake. Great.

So it turns out that my block has had one of it's famous power outages that it's been tending to have lately, and I head into my office to call the electric company to report the problem. The electronic (and oh-so-soothing) lady on the other end tells me that the outage will be cleared by 3:38 (???) a.m. Great. Because it's only 12:45 a.m. right then, and about 20 degrees outside. Fine. At least it's gonna be taken care of. And the last time this happened, it only took about an hour for them to fix it, so that's not too bad. But I don't know how extensive this is, or anything, so I'm not really sure what to expect, but I can't afford to throw out the new chicken I bought yesterday, so I'm hoping it'll be back on by the time they say it will. It came on at about 1:30, which I was aware of because I was still awake, dammit, and the heater kicked right in to do it's thang, and all was cozy and comfy again relatively soon after that.

The boyfriend got his, though...he kept jerking awake throughout the morning, starting at 4 a.m. (heh) wondering if it was 7 a.m. yet. No, I told him. I had re-set the clock and the alarms for the proper time to wake him, and he could sleep soundly knowing that I'd wake him when they went off (sometimes, he sleeps through them). He jerked awake again at 6 a.m., looking over my shoulder, trying to see what the clock said. I asked him what his issue was, and he said he'd heard the beeping of the alarm earlier, so he didn't want to sleep late. I told him what he'd heard was my house alarm beeping, at 12:30 a.m., mind you, and it was because the power had gone out. And I took care of everything, so he could sleep soundly until the actual alarm went off at 7:15. Boys. I swear. How do they survive without women in their lives? Sheesh.

(And you know that when I say the boyfriend "got his", it's only because I had to wander through the house figuring out what was up at 12:30 a.m. all by my lonesome, because he was hunkered down all warm and cozy-like under his pillow and blanket monstrosity he creates when he climbs into bed, and I still took care of his ass when I finally had the lock-down complete on the house, and covered him with an extra blanket, as he's getting over a cold and I didn't want it to get bad again because he was too out of it to know that the house temp was going to plummet to about 60 degrees by the time the outage was set to be corrected. But I love him all the same. I'd think he would've felt pretty bad if there was a vampire out to get me that had shut off the power to the house, though. Thankfully, that didn't happen. He's a lucky bastard that way...)

Ok, my ass is cold as fuck, as it is cold as fuck outside today, and my electric space heater apparently isn't up to the task of warming both the living room and the office that I'm in. So I'm gonna go get a blanket, and then go look for more jobs. Because it's fun. And money is good. Oh, and I've set up an official inquiry into why the power keeps going out on my block, particularly because (a) it's been happening so frequently lately, and (b) when it happens, it only happens to the houses on my side (the east side) of the street, as well as the houses behind me on the west side of the street that is to the east of me. I think it's weird that it happens that way, and I'm quite tired of it. Seems that the transformer that we're all on either can't handle us and the power needs we have, or is under regular attack from a rogue band of squirrels that need to be taken out with a grenade, or some b.b. guns, or something. No matter what, I want it to stop. It really fucks with my sleeping patterns, and it messed the computer up royaly this morning, as well. Not cool.

Keep warm, y'all! Happy hump day.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Weird. And who the hell is this?

Lately, I've been having someone annonymously harassing me from time to time. Out here on the blog, they say things like, "Why would you say that. Dumb" or, "You move fast, don't you." (Punctuation not being their strong suit, it seems.)

Today, I received a phone call at my house from a woman that sounds sorta old, but has a voice I don't really recognize. All she said was, "What goes around comes around." I said, "Pardon?" but received no response, and so I said, "Hello?" But she'd hung up, it seemed.

Who the fuck are you? I know you read my blog, and I know that you're the same person that's making the little random annonymous comments. And I'm not sure what the hell your problem is, or how you know who I am/what my home number is, but I'd like to ask you to FUCK OFF. Unless you can step out from behind a veil of annonymity, then there's no point. Because making annonymous threats/comments is weak. Cowardly. Immature.

So grow the fuck up, move on, and leave me alone. Or, come out and tell me who you are, and what the fuck your problem is. Asshole.

I just stumbled across this, and had to share...

Thanks to some very entertaining comments on Lushy's blog, I stumbled across a beautiful man. Who has a blog. And from what I've seen, he's entertaining as well. Woo! Just thought I'd share with the ladies (and gentlemen) that're interested in that sort of thing. I love it when pretty people are smart and entertaining as well. Makes me think the world is a-ok as it should be. (And hopefully, if he finds this post, he won't be offended at me calling him pretty. Because dammit, he is. It means "handsome as fuck" in my language, to be honest. But it's a nicer way of saying it is all.) Aaaannnnd, I have a new blog to read, to top it all off. So yay! Go, enjoy. (Sooo pretty...)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Crying and fretting = not productive, ok?

I can't figure out why the clock on my computer refuses to remain at the proper time! Since the time change, I have reset it about 5 times, each time clicking on the "apply" button prior to then clicking on the "ok" button, and hoping it'll take. At this point, it's just an hour behind, which is definite improvement. When we returned from Indiana last week, it had completely revolted, and decided it wanted to start over again at noon every time we turned it on. Hmmm...maybe a virus scan is in order.

I have officially given up on being poor and freaked out all the time, and am applying for Real Life Admin Jobs again. I'm pissed, but there really isn't anything I can do about it. My temp company is pissing out on me, so I can't rely on them for positions at all, and if I'm gonna apply at other temp companies for help looking for shit, then I might as well apply for a new admin job altogether somewhere. So we'll see what happens. I'm still hoping to hear back on a couple of totally new opportunities I've been trying to create for myself as well, so the admin thing might not be necessary. But let's all hope that SOMETHING works out for me soon, because I'm going bonkers trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life.

"All right then, I want to work in a shoe shop! And discover shoes that have never been discovered before, on a shelf in the back on the left..." (Ms. Pants, that was for you, since I think you might be the only one who gets my obscure Eddie references like that...thank God for Eddie. I might need to watch him tonight, in fact. Pull me out of this foul mood.)

Gonna go curl up on the couch and try to convice the boyfriend to turn something other than "Band of Brothers" on now. Maybe have a cigarette and a glass of wine as well. Because I can. So nyah.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Um, it's only 4:30 p.m.!

Dear Super-drunk Girl at 810Zone in Leawood, KS Saturday afternoon,

I love to throw back a couple as I watch the games on Saturday afternoon just as much as the next guy. But the key word there is "couple", darling. When you stumble into the bar I've been sitting in for two hours, squeeze your jean-outfitted ass (oh, and wear either the jean jacket, or the jeans...do NOT wear both at the same time, asshole) in between me and the guy who happened to sit down next to me just 20 minutes before you arrived, and proceed to kick my foot while I'm trying to watch my USC game on a relatively big-screened t.v. that is above your fluffy-haired head, I have every right to get a bit pissy. YOU do NOT have the right to get drunk-pouty, and say, "I juss wanna visssit mah bruvtha...hav'n seen him in a lonn time..." I understand you want to visit your brother. But you are invading my space. The space I've been inhabiting for over 2 hours, and somehow I haven't managed to get shit-faced while doing it. How's that, you might ask? It's called self-control, bitch. Try exercising a bit of it the next time you're out drinking on a Saturday afternoon.

I'm not sure why the bar decided to serve you, even though you were clearly about as fucked up as any person might be on their 21st birthday after taking their birthday shots, but I'm glad you didn't throw up on me all the same. I wish I'd had the balls to ask you what kind of car you were driving, so I could tell you I'd be avoiding your presence while out on the road, if I happened to run into someone with big hair driving that make and model. Fortunately for you, I didn't feel so venomous at the time, but rather just wanted to watch USC and Kansas in their respective games, as I hoped you would finish the beer you didn't need and get the hell out of the bar as soon as possible. As you left with your "bruvtha", I hoped that he would be giving you a ride to your next destination, even though he was a bit too tipsy as well...at least he drank water for the half hour he was sitting at the bar. And for the record, I understand that I was in a bar, and if I want to enjoy my personal space, I probably shouldn't expect to do so while in such a location, but the bar was not full. You didn't need to kick my foot. And your drunken apologies thereafter went on far too long, and annoyed me much more than the foot-kicking itself did. Yes I was irritated that I needed to shift my attention to a different, much smaller, t.v. that was further away from me in order to watch my USC game, and I let you know as much. But that was my prerogative, again, because I'd been there for longer, and I was in much more control of myself. So yeah...shut it with the drunken apologies.

Just wanted to let you know that I didn't appreciate you. And you might want to look into getting some help if you're gonna be that drunk at 4:30 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon. If it was a one-time thing, then cool...I can understand. You still should've been cabbing it, though. But if that's the norm, girl...just good luck, is all I can say.

Sincerely,
Faith

Friday, November 11, 2005

Damn.

It's a bit too windy out to rake any leaves. Dammit...and I was really looking forward to that, too! Shoot. *kicks at dirt* (And the REAL Faith says: Heh...I can't rake leaves! WOO!!)

The boyfriend and I got sufficiently schnockered last night with the help of some friends. (Thanks for coming out, friends! So good to see you!!) We went to grab some Chinese food after we were done with the beers, and while we waited for the food he sweetly offered to pay either for a bag for my mower so I don't have to rake the leaves by hand or for the yard guys that came and did it last year to come and do it again this year (but that was about $135, and I'm not sure how much it'd cost this year if I had it done...), and then asked how much my mortgage was, and offered to help with that, and then asked if he could help with any other bills, too. I kept telling him not to worry about it. He was a bit tipsy, so I know he wasn't thinking straight about it all, but I still thought it was awfully nice of him to want to help! If he lived here, we would obviously have some sort of plan worked out mortgage and bills-wise, but he doesn't. He just sleeps here most of the time, and does his laundry here. He still has his own place. And there could be some changes in his work location that might make it more reasonable for him to live in a city a bit west of here, so that's something we need to discuss as well. For now, all I want is for him to pay for movies and buy me $1 sushi every now and then on a Monday, and I'll be a happy girl. But chipping in on my mortgage? Uh-uh. Not to sound possessive or nasty, but this is my house. It's my mortgage with my name on it and the house title/deed belongs to moi seullment. There's that teeny-tiny pessimist that lives in the back of my brain that always makes me wonder just what would happen if he and I ever broke up, and if he chips in on my mortgage payments ever, that might certainly guck things up a bit. I don't ever see us breaking up, though, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I've been wrong before...it could certainly happen again. Helping with bills, well, that's different. He does share the use in much of the electricity, gas, and water around here. But again, for now, all I want is a dinner out now and then, and I'm pleased as punch in the arrangement. But I thought it was an awfully big step forward for him to offer the way he did. Must've been the trip home. That was a very telling 6 days for me, and I think it was for him as well. I'm not so worried about giving him a drawer to keep some of his shit in any more, and I think that in a little bit, I'm gonna head out and find him a hamper to keep his landry in, rather than to let him keep piling it up in the guestroom, like he does now. His socks are smelly after10 hours in the kitchen each day. I hate that they just lie out in the open the way they do. Giving him stuff like that would've scared me a short month ago, because it has an edge of permanence to it that I was afraid might frighten a boy that had only been dating a girl for about 4 and a half months. But it's not so daunting now, for some reason. It's just all so weird the way it changes week to week...

And that was one long-ass run-on paragraph, wasn't it? Oh well...

I have a headache...must get food and Diet Coke. Buh-bye for now...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Just want to record this...

I'm officially freaking out about money. I have enough right now. But in about 3 weeks, my mortgage, cable, and cell bill will be due, and I won't have the cash to pay it if I don't get a ROCKIN' new job starting next week. (Rockin' = at least $14/hour, mind you...) On top of that, a few months ago, I made a deal with my dad...I asked him if I could make my car payment every 6 months, and in the meantime, I would be putting away the payment monthly into my savings account so I could earn interest on it instead. He agreed. And now I owe him $1800 on November 15th. If I do that, I only have $1,000 left in my savings account. And that's just ridiculous.

What do I do???? Freaking out. Freaking out. Freaking out...

I'm waiting to hear back from my temp company rep. She said she would find me something to start on Monday. She said she'd call me today, or Friday at the latest. Cross everything you have that she finds me something that works out. I just can't imagine what I'll do otherwise. I haven't heard back from anyone about my voice over demo yet...not that I expected I would, really. Apparently, it takes a lot of grunt-work on my part in order to be heard, according to the guy who made my recording. (He's been in the industry for about 25 years, so I trust his advice.) I have to call and follow-up, and make sure that they've listened to my demo, and hope that they'll give me a chance. It could take a good long time before anyone considers me, if they even take the time to listen to my demo, that is. Which they might not ever. Which is the sucky part of it all.

So, I guess I'll get back to cleaning my house, call my plumber to come and fix my rocky toilet (it must be done...it can't be put off, or I would. It's moving around every time I use it, which is rather frequently, of course), and then go and have a beer or two tonight and try to relax some before coming home and cooking dinner with the boyfriend. That's all I can do for now, really. Except sit and quietly freak out about money. *sigh!*

Is it Thursday already?

The week is sort of flying by. Not much in the mood to blog, but then again, I'm not much in the mood to do anything, really! I raked leaves yesterday, and need to continue that today (it takes about 2 hours of raking/bagging to clear just 1/5 of my back yard...it's really big. And there are LOTS of leaves back there...) but my muscles are pretty sore from yesterday's activity, so I'm kind of being a pussy about putting on the clothes and heading out there. Plus, I ran out of trash sacks yesterday, and need to go get more first. Bleh.

All I wanna do is hang out with the boyfriend all day long. But he's back at work today, the buggar. He'll be back tonight, though.

And I'm boring as hell, I'm afraid. See....told you I wasn't in the mood to blog! Sorry....

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Aaand, apparently, there was a mouse in the house while I was away.

Uummm...for those of you wondering if the Twin really didn't tell me about the guest-posting she took it upon herself to do while I was away, let me tell you that I did NOT know about it, I'm completely surprised, and feel as though I've been dropped in upon by the First Battalion Transvestite Brigade.

"What's this...? GUNS! They've got guns!! Were you surprised? I was so surprised..."

Anyway, trip went well. Obviously, for the past 6 days I was in one of the ONLY households in America that does not have internet access, and for some reason, only thought of asking the Twin to guest-blog for me while I was away when I was on my way home today. And there wouldn't have been any point to that, now would there've? BUT, she apparently read my mind before I even let the thought cross it anyway. As usual...

Boyfriend's family is LOVELY!!! Loved his mother...absolutely loved her; his dad was a bit focussed on the girls at times, but I can understand that really, and he was a nice guy nonetheless. The brothers (of which there are 3) were adorable, fun, funny, and really not at all what I expected. The friends were cool and accommodating (FREE TICKETS TO THE NOTRE DAME GAME ON SATURDAY!!! THEY WERE FREE MUTHAFUCKAS!!!), and drank heartily with me until the wee hours as I watched most of the USC game on Saturday, and even joined boyfriend and I as we watched the Chiefs beat Oakland on Sunday. Boyfriend and I had a long trip up there last Thursday (we went through St. Louis to Indianapolis, and then up some little highway 31 into South Bend, and it took us about 11 and a half hours all together. I blamed it on my weak bladder, but we went through south Chicago today and down through Springfield, Illinois, and it only took 9 hours. And we had lunch and pee breaks galore, so WTF??) and we had a fine time of it for the most part. Today, we drove and drove, and he STILL wanted to attack me almost as soon as we entered the door. We were both hungry, but then he said he loved me, and said he was really horny. I said I was horny as well, and he KNEW I had to love him if I was putting sex before food, dammit! That cracked us up for a good bit, and made the sex last longer, which is always a good thing. Then we ate. And now I'm here telling y'all what's up. (And after reading back over all that bit about the sex, I see how cheesy it sounds, and I'm sorry. But I'm too tired to make it sound any more clever or funny, so fuck off and leave me be at least until tomorrow...)

And yes, we did have stormy weather on Saturday night, but the tornadoes the Twin spoke of a couple days ago hit at the Indiana/Kentucky border, and as South Bend is close to the Michigan border (at the top of the state...not the very bottom...which is where Kentucky is), we were perfectly fine. It did get windy, but not bad enough to wake me from my Bud Light-induced coma.

More tomorrow, I promise. So much to talk about...the game, the family, the drive...just not now. We have about a half hour before Futurama and Family Guy start on Adult Swim, and as I haven't had anything other than basic, basic cable for the past 6 days (seriously...did you know there was a plan where you could get about 4 shopping channels, PBS, the basic networks like ABC and NBC and CBS, and Discovery? Because there is...and it's insanity, I tell you), I need to catch up with some more sex (we only got one session snuck in over the weekend, and I'm about to start my P, so that AIN'T gonna do it!) before we watch some of that shit, and then hit the sheets for good today.

Thanks for guest-blogging, Twin. I seriously should have thought about it before today, but I just didn't. I was afraid everyone was gonna go 'way while I was gone! Good thing you had your silly stories to tell. Now go get your own blog, will ya? :P:P:P:P

Website I visit several times daily

Craigslist.

A lot of you have probably heard of Craigslist. I first started visiting the Los Angeles site 3 or 4 years ago as I am into personal assisting and when I googled 'personal assistant' one of the many links I was presented with was Craigslist. I was instantly hooked.

It is a cool, free site that has everything from job postings to stuff for sale to roommates needed and even a rant spot- a place where you can go and just rant about shit that is bugging you. They finally created a new one for Orange County about a year ago, and though it was slow to be picked up we now have a good amount of postings and general nonsense daily. I have posted ads for dates. I have posted my business ad. I have posted a babysitting ad. I have posted stuff for sale. I have never been disappointed with the response. Generally, it's all good. But there are the humdingers here and there seeing as we all walk around in the crazy world not knowing if the guy next to you is genuinely insane or if YOU are. Craigslist will allow you to find this out about your fellow man in very little time flat.

I think one of my favorite postings that I remember to this day was a guy who posted in the "men looking for women' section. He had posted two different ads: one titled to the effect of, "Nice guy, not wealthy, just looking for someone to have fun with." The other was the, "Rich, good looking guy looking to spoil you!"

He posted, after a couple weeks of the responses, his results. He admitted it was all for a sociology experiment or something like that, but that he pretty much knew the outcome. lol. I mean, come on. There was more to it, of course...clicking on the link and actually reading what he described himself as and then responding. I didn't respond to either because, to be honest, it takes a REALLY good post to get my response. I don't know why, but first of all: it's FREE for these guys to post on there. Second of all, you have NO IDEA who/what you are dealing with. Thirdly, I have two kids and dating is just so friggin' difficult that I have to be pretty discerning from the get-go.

Yes, Craigslist holds a bevy of entertainment (and if you get a chance, read up on Craig himself. He seems a wee bit full of himself at times, but he's wealthy and doesn't care what you think of him!) and I highly suggest everyone check it out daily for a fun perusal. You might find something (or someone) you need.

I am afraid Faith will be back today at some point and since I haven't told her I did this I can't wait to see how she reacts. But you all have been mighty quiet. Makes me wonder if I totally suck at this? Or if you all just suck? I think I'll go with the latter.

It's been fun!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Faith is doing just dandy...

I spoke with the Faithsta this morning. I just had to call and give her the fantabulous news that our best friend of 21+ years is going to be a Mommy! I also had the chance to ask if they had experienced any of the tornadic weather that the lower part of Indiana had that killed 22 people. She seriously hadn't heard anything on the subject. She said it was windy as hell yesterday but they had no idea a tornado with winds of 200+ mph had been anywhere. She seems tired and way relaxed...so hopefully its been good! I was hoping to get some dirt on what she thought of the boyfriends fam, but that was not an option.

I have nothing to say besides that- thought some of ya (though no one but Kick-Ass-New-Dad-Maine had commented) might be looking to see how the Evil Twin is doing on her trip. (see how I did that? She's not here to stop me, so I can slip things in like that...I am sooooo getting a kick outta my guest blogging and I haven't told her either, so she'll done be surprised when she gets home!)

Nothing to report as far as the kids go. Took them on a trip to Lake Arrowhead (my stomping grounds for a bit o' time in the late 80's) yesterday and it was so beautiful and so lovely, I just wanted to hold it and squeeze it and take it home in my pocket to sleep with!

People's Court is on. I am a Court Show Junkie and this one looks cool- the judge throws a dick outta her courtroom and I just HAVE to see how it builds up to that!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Funny

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stfu.php

Turn your speakers on and enjoy!

Oh the Faith Secrets I Could Tell...

Guest blogging time! (this is unauthorized, so Faith is hereby released from any and all responsibility until she comes back and does her own blogging. I have SOOO many things I can say! But I won't...mmmggffhgghg. It's so hard to keep it in!)

I have one question: How does this following situation take place? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9922969/ Is it because it's Texas? I can't say I am surprised this story came out of Texas. No offense to the readers (or anyone) in Texas- but you all have some seriously idiotic law enforcement issues for this guy to be let out of death row. Oh, I know, it must be that they recently hired on some chimpanzees because they saw that Monster.com commercial where the guy is surrounded by monkeys and they thought it was funny- and Lord knows we all need some humor in the jails, specifically death row. It's such a serious place! Lighten up! Start with this mantra: Death is good. Death is peaceful. Death can sometimes be fun! You keep that up, hang in there with the monkeys, and you'll be golden.

For those of you out there who don't know, I live on the West Coast. I am very much a West Coast kind of gal. I love living here. I share a home with my two little girls in a lovely city that was master planned and have no intention of leaving unless the ocean decides I am in its way. It has everything I need- and I rarely have to touch the freeway anymore. However, this can be a bit of an unfortunate situation as when I find myself on a freeway I now have the same experience Cher and her friends did in the movie Clueless (if some of you have no idea what I am talking about? You should. Clueless was a brilliant story, IMO, taking the classic novel from Jane Austen and putting it to work through rich girl Cher in Beverly Hills. I wish I could say I can relate, but besides the rich part? There is no similarity. And even that is gone now...). There is a scene in the movie where Cher is learning to drive and they accidentally get on the freeway. Add to this the combo of the guy from Scrubs and the girlfriend in the backseat with him and you've got visual comedy masterpiece. Now you all can see where I am going with my freeway dread. I feel as if all of the mofo's speeding around my minivan are coming at me honking and at the very least a big rig is suddenly bearing down on me.

Don't get me wrong. I am a good driver. I used to BE one of those mofo's speeding around, sitting on the ass of the car in front of me, not really having to get anywhere but DAMMIT I needed to get there faster that the person in front of me was driving! Now I am a Mom. I have a greater responsibility to be careful, to be conscientious, and to be kind and wonderful to those who don't give a shit about me and mine. I am setting a good example. I have my moments (and these moments are usually filled with words that are translated to "Nutball" by my kiddos- they're so good: they think "crap" is the 'C-word'. ) I am sorry. I am a woman. I am a woman who has 100% custody of her children. I have no money and we want a LOT of stuff! Sue me for being stressed sometimes when I am behind the wheel. I know it is not smart, but I swear I try not to use my cell phone during these weak moments! As we all know: cell phones while driving are distracting. Never mind the kid in the back seat who is now saying, "Stop it...STOP it. MOOOMMM! Make her stop!" Mom: "What are you doing?" Kid:" She's staring at me! I said stop it!!!!!" Or the driver who is in the outside left turn lane and doesn't care that you are in the inside left turn lane, they need to be in your lane half way through the turn. I have chased down people who have done me wrong before, don't think I won't do it again! In any case, distractions are a huge miscreant while driving and we should all have vehicles with Popemobile glass and lovely harp and violin-filled music while someone massages our shoulders in order to avoid doing any wrong.

This is a bit of my life. And until Faith gets back and as long as I can remember her password here, you will see me saying what I want, running around in a debaucherous and careless way saying things like, "My kids said..." or, "The minivan needed an oil change..." and don't forget the, "Holy shit the ex is lucky the knife stayed in the block..."

Tune in for more as frequently as you can.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A day in the life of a stay-at-home-Faith

Some things I've noticed in the 2.3 days I've had off thus far this week:

- They still show Calorie Commando on Food Network? Are they kidding? That guy is fucking obnoxious.

- Sara Moulton is not nearly as cool as Rachel Ray when it comes to informative, helpful cooking tips. The stuff she cooks is too difficult, the format of her show makes it so that she's all old school with the, "...pop it in the oven for 45 minutes at 375, and in the magic that is television, of course we already have one ready..." bullshit, and that bothers me. I like Rachel Ray for one reason: she actually cooks on her show, and she makes shit that looks appetizing in only 30 minutes. Which is the point of the show, I know, but I like reality. So sue me.

- I watch entirely too much Food Network when given the opportunity.

- I need to get out of my house more.

- When a siren suddenly is getting closer and closer to my house, I run to the front door to see if it's coming up my street. When I see that it IS coming up my street, I quickly check to see if I've had a heart attack or if my house is on fire. When I see that both myself and my house is ok, and then see the fire truck whizzing past my house, only to turn left on the next street, I wonder if the fire truck is lost. Then I look and see that I'm not the only loser out checking to see where the fire truck is going when I notice my fat neighbor guy two houses down is out in his yard watching, and I rush back in my house. Then I look out the window to see if there's any smoke, and when I see that there isn't any, I figure an old person has fallen down and can't get up, and I move back on with my life.

- I need to get out of my house more.

Buh-bye...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Ok, let's put away the eerieness until next year...

Halloween went off without a hitch. Kids came by to get candy (and I was left with very few left-overs, thank goodness!), friends came over to watch spooky programming, fun was had by all, and today has been just as mellow as yesterday, I'm afraid.

Kind of starting to freak out about meeting the boyfriend's family this week. But also am looking forward to it all, of course. It's nice to have something to think about besides what the hell I'm gonna do for a living when I grow up.

Still not much happening around here, except for me falling more and more for the boyfriend every fucking day, me thinking about whether I'm being a pussy for not taking my demo's out yet, and me wondering where the stomach ache I currently have came from and whether it'll go away before I eat dinner. Because I AM eating dinner, dammit. Oh yes. Indeed.

And I will leave you with a text message session that I had with the boyfriend a week ago, or so. Hopefully it entertains you to bits...and remember, it's meant to be funny. This is not me opening up my sex-life for all of you to see/to gross some of you out that know me and wish you didn't know the intimate details of my sexual activities with the boyfriend. In fact, after this interaction happened, I'm pretty sure we were out late dancing, and went home and passed out. So you can see that our texting isn't really foreplay of any kind. At all. Whatsoever.

Boyfriend: U have a sweet ass. (He sent this to me as he sat behind me at a table in the Moose while I was at the bar...he's not allowed to sit at the bar, which is one of the cool rules they have for employees at his restaurant.)
Me: no response...but I did turn around and smile at him, and I showed my friend Melinda his little message to me.
Boyfriend: Does ur clit need a massage? (Have I mentioned just how romantic he is? Because he really is. Honestly...)
Me: See, I can't show that 1 2 Melinda! But yes...a massage would be lovely later, as long as it's an even exchange, baby!
Boyfriend: In the pooper? (My response was up close and personal on that. I said, "NO!!!" in his face after I joined him at his table and saw what he had written back to me.)