Friday, February 24, 2006

Just to warn you, I discuss defecating at one point in this post...

I’m dizzy from the calories/lack o’ protein. So far this morning I’ve had a banana, an orange, a small glass of juice (I have to take my vitamins with juice), one of those muffins like the kind they have at Costco (not sure where it came from, but I remember having those a long time ago, and these muffins definitely coulda come from there…), and absolutely NO PROTEIN. I’m seriously dizzy. It’s not a good thing.

Every Friday morning at my office, we have breakfast served to us from 2 people that participate in the Friday Morning Breakfasts program. It rotates around through a group of about 30 of us (maybe more…I haven’t counted, really) throughout the year, and if we eat the breakfasts, then it means we will have to bring one sometime in the future. I don’t care, really. We’ve got them set up through May at this point, so I won’t need to bring a breakfast anytime soon, or anything. The last 2 weeks, they’ve included biscuits and gravy from two different restaurants, and some sort of fruit as well. (Sometimes it’s just juice…) Three weeks ago, it was this French toast thing that I couldn’t eat because it had dairy in it. This week, it was a variety of pastries…and fruit of course. I chose the big muffin over the danishes and bagels that were offered, as it’s been a while since I’ve had one, and I was kind of in the mood.

But the problem is that no protein was offered. So now I feel all icky and bleh and it’s kind of getting to the point where I’d like to throw up, I think. It’s like eating a dinner of just cake. Nothing else. Just the cake. But I almost think that’d be more acceptable, or something, since it’d be at the end of the day. This is the beginning of the day, and now I feel like shit, which isn’t any fun at all.

Ok, I had to grab a little package of peanuts from our snack stash to see if that’ll help at all. God, I hate this. I totally sabotaged my day by allowing myself to have that muffin! Now I’ve eaten half of the calories I allow myself all at breakfast-time, and so now I have to keep lunch and dinner to extremely low calorie amounts in order to make up for it! Which I probably won’t do, so this whole day is shot to hell, dammit. I’m gonna put a voodoo curse on the dumbass pair of people that brought breakfast today, is the thing. I mean, yeah, I coulda just grabbed an orange and then gone to the other kitchen and hooked myself up with a packet of Quaker Instant Oatmeal, and now that I think about it, that would’ve been a STUPENDOUS idea, really. But I didn’t. Fine. Voodoo curse on myself then. (Is it ok to give myself the curse of being obnoxiously pretty and charming and witty? No? Well, I’ll have to think of another one then, dammit…)

You know what’s interesting? I used to eat muffins like that about a year ago as a snack when I was feeling hungry at my old job. And they didn’t make me feel ill at all back then. Hm. Maybe my body has changed to the point where crap like that actually causes it to have a little reaction to it. I dunno. The peanuts appear to be helping a bit. I think I can throw the rest of the pack away, thank goodness.

My back is in a baaaaaad place right now, and I need to go get a massage. My neck is all fucked up, and my lower back feels like I’ve been putting too much strain on it lately with the workouts I’ve been doing. Can’t really afford a massage, but thank goodness for the credit card, because I HAVE to get one, no question.

My body is systematically breaking down, is my point. You should’ve seen the shit that finally came outta me this morning. (I was sorta constipated all day yesterday, due to my food choices for dinner the night before, and then I had those left-overs for lunch yesterday…black and red beans bind me right up, it seems!) I haven’t seen anything like that in a while, and I think I have the banana to thank for it. (Because, really, it was SUCH a relief! It was a gross relief, but still…) And it’s weird that my body is doing this now. Maybe I should have a weekend full of fast food and beer, and see what happens. Perhaps I’ve switched over to Bizarro World where eating veggies and fiber and chicken have completely caused my body to have a little revolt, or something. That doesn’t seem right, but I can’t explain the nastiness that I’ve been feeling over the last couple of days.

OOOOHHHHH!!!! Wait! It IS Bizarro World! Or, as more people might recognize it/understand it: it is P.M.S. Der!!! I totally forgot about that. Now wonder my body is flipping the fuck out. God, I’m glad I thought of that!

Ok, now that you’ve heard me ramble on about nothing but calories, feeling crappy, and crapping, I guess it’s time for me to shove off. Work beckons…

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