Wednesday, February 22, 2006

No, I do NOT know any Phish songs. Jeezy creezy on a stick...

During my frustrating drive to work this morning, I came to a decision: I would like to work at the DMV for one year, and have veto power over any new drivers requesting licenses. That is my wish for today. (I only want to do it for one year because I think I could only handle the DMV for a year…anything more than that might cause me to wanna go postal.) I don’t know exactly how it would work, because I would need to evaluate every single person during an actual driving demonstration on their part, but I really wish I could do it. Seriously…


Over the weekend, I visited my neighborhood Whole Foods market. I love that place…I really do. I knew they would have the big jar of capers that I wanted to get, and they have loads of different and yummy tepanades to put onto bread or what have you, and I was wanting to serve that to the boyfriend’s parents while they were visiting on Sunday night. I looked over the non-dairy items they have for me to select from, and saw the cream cheese that I might wanna try sometime, and looked for some ricotta, but they didn’t have any. I picked up some more ice cream for both me and the boyfriend (he likes vanilla, and I like the chocolate peanut butter from Soy Delicious...), and then went to check out. I had also picked up some apples in the produce section, because the market I usually buy them from had nothing but crappy, banged up Fuji’s for me to choose from, so I decided to get some at Whole Foods instead. The only apples they had at WF were organic ones, though. This was disappointing to me because I really don’t like paying a higher price for shit just because it hasn’t been protected from bugs for my "benefit". But, oh well…it was one week’s worth of the things, and it’s nothing to get all bent out of shape over, so I grabbed 4 apples.

At the checkout, I asked the general question of whether they ever have apples that AREN’T organic. The chick that was bagging my groceries (or rather, who was organizing my groceries for bagging, but wasn’t bagging yet since she apparently forgot that I asked for plastic bags the first time she asked me…which was about 5 seconds before I asked my question) shot back a reply of, "Because you prefer your food to be covered in pesticides?"

*blink, blink.*

Ok, little weird hippy freak who apparently has the attention span of a 5-year-old, smells like patchouli, and doesn’t know what a comb/hairbrush is, I didn’t ASK you for your opinion of my eating habits, ok? I ASKED the general question of whether or not y’all sell anything OTHER than organic shit, ok? Because I’m pretty sure that, in the past, you have offered both the organic produce items as well as the covered-in-pesticides-bad-for-humans-to-consume kind. And I prefer the latter.

I didn’t say all this to her, though, because I didn’t really care. What I said to her was, "Well, they haven’t hurt me so far. Plus, what I really prefer is to NOT pay $4.50 for 4 small apples."

After the last encounter I had with "coming through!" man at the Wild Oats near my home, and now this weird elfin woman offering me her opinion of my choice of poisons in life, I’m kind of getting turned off of hitting the natural/alternative shopping scenes when it comes to picking up groceries at this point. And that sucks.

Why are the rude hippies working/shopping at my favorite stores as of late? Are they getting bad batches of bugs in their salad and fruit? Are they suppressing their irritation with the high price they pay for organic chicken breasts and smelly cheeses, and letting it all out at weird times with non-hippy types such as myself? Because I can’t sympathize, ok? It’s not ok to talk to people like you are, and you need to stop it. Fuckers.


I want Santino to get sent home tonight**. That is all. Back to work with ya…

**Dammit...didn't realize tonight was the "reunion" special. So I guess Santino won't be going tonight. Although, he might get made fun of one hell of a lot, which is almost as good. So I guess that makes up for it being a "filler" show. I HATE the filler shows! Except, of course, for the bachelor ones where they get all the stupid bitches together to complain about each other and not being picked...and I missed the one they showed on Monday, dammit, because I forgot it was on!! Which just goes to show how tired I was and how thrown off my regular schedule I was by the boyfriend's parents being in town. Dammit.


FaithsTwin said...

Must be "Bad mood days for smallish people" 'cause I ran into one yesterday while picking up my prescrips at Kaiser. The chick was. A. BITCH. I walked up and said I had some things to pick up and pushed my card across to her. She then went and got some of them and proceeded to dole them out like this: "Here is Faithstwins prozak and Faithstwins lantis and her Novolin R." I didn't say anything because I didn't care much. However, she was missing Faithstwins lisinopril and when I brought that to her attention she copped the 'tude. She went and found it, brought it back and said, "I appologize for making the mistake of missing one of Faithstwins items." I know this sounds NICE to y'all however, imagine it being said in the most smug, don't-you-hate-that-you-are-paying-money-to-stay-alive-and-I-don't ways you can ever imagine. Ok, now I sound all bitter that I have a disease. Whatev. All I can say is she was RUDE and she was annoying. She bugged.

Hippies who believe organic is The Way are small minded jerks. Moving on.

Faith said...

Dude, she said your name as she did it? That? Is weird.

And I'm all for hippy folks that are good with the world, and are friendly, and know the difference between sarcasm and inappropriate judgment, ya know? I've thought about it since then, and I wish I would have asked her to get her manager so I could let them know that she was passing judgment on their customers who asked questions. But I'm glad I replied the way I did. Hell, if SHE can afford organic everything on a grocery-baggin' salary, then more power to her! I know I can't, is all...