I keep having dreams about my boyfriend proposing to me. But they’re really rather unsettling dreams, is the thing. Over the weekend, I had a dream that he proposed to me like his dad proposed to his mom. Basically, his dad asked her what kind of ring she’d like, should they ever take such a step, she said she didn’t know (the girl was only 17, for chrissakes), so he suggested they go and look, she found one she liked, he bought it for her, and that was that! No down on one knee, no romantic dinner or special place they liked to go together…he didn’t even ever really ask the question. And I think that rightly sucks. Call me old fashioned, but when my time comes, I want the question asked dammit. So in my dream, the same thing happened, sort of. Except there wasn’t any shopping involved, and he just had a ring for me. But he never asked me. And it bugged me.
So I told him about the dream last night, and he started giggling. "I’m going to propose by putting the ring on my penis…" I assured him that although he often likes to refer to his dick as being a "gerbil penis", it isn’t, and there certainly ain’t no way a ring that would fit his penis would fit my ring finger, so that idea just doesn’t fly. So he’s sitting there trying to figure out if a ring tied with a string to his penis would work, and I keep trying to assure him that it’s not a good idea to involve the penis in the proposal at all, but we keep laughing at the thought of it, so I finally agree to the penis proposal idea. But I also said that a real proposal would also have to take place. Really though, no penis proposal would be just fine with me. Either way, I guess it doesn’t matter. (I don’t think it’s a very safe thing to tie a string to a dick, though...)
And last night, I wound up having another dream about it. (I know…I wish I could tell my subconscious to ease up already…I don’t need this kind of pressure!) This time, he was showing me the ring, and ohmygod, it was terrible. It was different colors of gold, and it was HUGE, and it had diamonds in the weirdest places. It was swoopy, and came together at the top in this criss-cross pattern that just made no sense. If I’d put it on, it would have stuck up about 2 inches off of my hand. But putting it on would have been difficult, since there were diamonds inside of the band. I know, it makes no sense. So I told the boyfriend about it this morning as we were getting ready to head out the door. I told him it was huge and ugly, and his reply was, "Was it big enough to fit around my penis?"
Maybe I should get him a cock ring, or something. Jeezy…