Thursday, August 31, 2006

Is she still a girl?

We had the dog's uterus removed yesterday. She was pretty miserable after it was done, and seemed to want to hang out with us, but was too wary of us to come close much of the night. (She looked at us as though she thought we would snatch her up again to drive her back to that hated vet's office to have something else removed, such as her stomach so we would no longer have to feed her, or her asshole so we'd no longer have to deal with her poop. Because that's how dogs think. They don't know that they can't survive without a stomach, and how much we understand their need to poop. They're dumb. That's why they're called dogs. Get it?

Yeah, me either. I'm tired and putting off the inevitableness of paying my bills. Get off my case.)

Once she had her initial alone-time after we first returned home from the vet (she went into her crate to lie down and lick herself silly, so I wouldn't stop her from doing it every time she tried...), she came out and started wandering back and forth through the living room into the hallway by the bathroom door, and then back through the living room to the door to the kitchen and then back again. It was pitiful. Especially the way she was slinking along, tail down, stopping every now and then to try to scratch the itch that couldn't be scratched with one of her back paws, and then starting up with the walking thing once she realized there would be no relief from this internal nightmare she'd just been exposed to. She looked downright pitiful all night in fact, and I was glad to head to bed at about 10:30 to read for a bit before falling asleep. We put her crate in our room for the night, so we could hear her easier if she needed our help or needed to get out to relieve herself or something. She seemed fine throughout the night, though. I could hear her early this morning as she whined quietly and then licked herself some more, but all I had to do was say, "Shh, shh,'s alright Izzy honey. We're here. Shh, shh..." And she'd stop again for a while. I didn't really care much about soothing her, but the noise an animal makes when it licks itself is unbearable to me, so I try to stop it when it's in earshot if I can. If she felt soothed at the same time, then bonus!

Right now, I'm glad the day is just about over, so I will be able to go home and workout soon, and then it'll be Friday tomorrow, and I'll have a 3 day weekend waiting for me at the end of that, so WOO! Last night's Project Runway didn't turn out as I'd expected, but I won't bore you all with my opinion of it. This guy usually sums it up pretty damned well after a couple of days, so go check his blog out and see if you agree with him. I tend to, and he makes me laugh while I'm doing it! (He doesn't have his weekly post up about it yet, but enjoy reading his past posts, and then add him to your'll be glad you did. I really need to put him on my blogroll...)

Ok, I need to go get some work done before I lose my drive completely. Hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday afternoon...Ta!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Crisis? No. Weird? Yes.

I'm having a hard time understanding my reluctance to contact any churches regarding the possibility of holding our wedding ceremony at their location. Do I feel a certain level of underlying hypocrisy within myself because of my desire to be settled in a long-term home/neighborhood before I join a church? Do I still feel the same way that I used to towards my chosen religion? Do I just not care? (That might be the ultimate answer, actually, since a recent audit of my overall personal habits/beliefs/etc...has shown that my apathy levels are WAAAAY up from where they used to be.)

It's strange, and it's not right, and it's (yet again) giving me heartburn.

I love being Catholic. I love my faith and (most of) what it stands for. I like it for me, and I want to follow up with my sacraments, and be the best Catholic that I can be. (Not necessarily the best Catholic I'm expected to be...2 very different things in my eyes.)

But I also want to do what's easiest and runs along the path of least resistance. I want a ceremony that's beautiful and meaningful and will say everything we want it to cover appropriately. This means that I don't want the pressure of the church's expectations over us to marry and start the process of attempting to reproduce. I've never felt that it was something that would be held over my head by God, as I'm pretty sure I'm the way I am (a.k.a. anti-children) because He made me this way, but once something is blessed and ordained by the church here on earth, will I feel differently toward the implied obligation? I don't think I would, but it remains to be seen. History has proven that the women in our family don't easily let go of their past mistakes. Might've just been the way my mother was raised, but I feel she found it too difficult to forgive herself for things she'd done in the past, and even blamed herself for things that really weren't her fault...and I blame those feelings she had for her cancer that she up and got and died by.

I've never had a hard time forgiving myself for making mistakes and trying to move past them in an effective manner. Sure, I still wish I could change a few decisions I've made along the way, but they are what they are, and I try not to dwell like I used to. It's easier to do that now that I'm in a happier place in my life, I think, but I do know that I made valiant efforts to "let go" even when I was single and angsty. (Ok, ok...more angsty. Shut up.)

So will I be able to call the churches tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe not. Will I be able to deal with the ultimate decision 20 years from now? I hope so. I mean, I'll try, anyway.

Got your nose!

Anyone else think that the airbrushing has gone too far when the nose starts to disappear?
Just a thought...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I know what I know...

Life is catching up with me. I'm about to have my first period in 3 months* starting tomorrow, I'm stressed at work, I'm stressed at home, I'm attempting to keep up with my proper diet and exercise (which is working really, really well, I'm happy to say), I am battling constant heartburn (which I attribute to too many salads and too much stress), and my hair looks like shit (the color isn't latching on properly yet...).

This week had better turn itself around, dammit. Right quick.

*I'm doing that deal where I take my pills for 3 months consecutively, so I only have 4 periods a year from now on. It's working out pretty well except I'm still getting used to the schedule and I'm constantly wondering, "Is this the month I'm supposed to have one? When was my last one? Shit, I hate getting old..." So this time, I'm going to write it down, like a good little girl, in my calendar. That way, I won't forget! Easy peasy!! Go me! (Aw, shut the hell up, me. You're bothering the shit out of me all of a sudden...)

Monday, August 28, 2006

2 New Things

I learned a couple of interesting (and yet still useless!) things over the weekend.

1. My fiance knows my blog address, reads it, and is sharing it with people at random.

2. I really, really, really should avoid drinking martinis after I've already had 3 beers.

Ok, so let's deal with #1, shall we? I was at the Moose on Saturday night, hanging out with some food, beers, and friends to watch the Chiefs play St. Louis (and KICK THEIR ASSES!!! That's right!), and of course was catching up with everyone on the whole engagement thingy. One of the managers (who is getting married herself in a couple of months) came up to see the ring, to chat about the weddings, and to just say hello in general.

Then she said, "Yeah, I read your blog about the proposal, and I couldn't wait to talk to you about it, too..." I stopped listening much after the whole "read your blog" bit of the comment, though, and have to say that I probably pretty rudely cut her off.

"What? You read my blog? Huh?"

"Yeah! [Fiance] printed out the thing you wrote about the proposal, and the blog is on our favorites list on the internet in the office."

I don't think my heart has sunk so deeply into my belly without the assistance of some sort of bad food in a LOOOONG time. My fiance knows my blog address, knows how to direct people to my blog address, and has it saved as a favorite on the back of the house computer at his work. Where people that I write about now and then can read it with wild abandon. And where people that I interact with (namely him) can read anything and everything I write.

Ok, so let's say that I didn't write out here with a complete freeness of being, not worrying at all about people who might know about it knowing that the people that I have everyday interpersonal relations with DON'T read it, and so I'm safe. I would STILL be uncomfy about the fiance (and his coworkers!) reading my blog. Even if I didn't cuss, didn't let out my frustrations with my relationships (or the relationships of folks I'm close to), didn't talk about my poop in such a free and really rather gross manner...I would still not want certain people to read this blog!

But, there you have it. They do, and they will, and that's that. I can't change it.

Fucking A.

#2 doesn't matter all that much now, does it? But to finish that part of the story off, I had 3 beers (wait...was it 4? I don't remember), saw other people having martinis, decided I wanted a martini as well, and then had another one after that. To say I was sloshed would be putting it mildly. I had fun, though. Didn't throw up, although I had a mildly wicked hangover yesterday morning, but I got through it relatively quickly and well. I don't usually get that sloshed after that small of an amount of liquor (I wasn't that small an amount, but you'd have to know just how much it usually would take to get me as tipsy as I was!), but as I eat a lower amount of calories than usual as of late (down to 187 pounds as of Sunday, thankyouverymuch), I get sloshed easier.

Anyway, I'm not too worried about the blog thing, and am happy that I can get drunk easier than ever thanks to my diet, so that's all that matters. Plus, everyone was really complimentary about my style of writing (I asked the one manager if it "sounds like me when I talk" and she said it does! yay!), so that helps.

But did I fuck that all up, huh? Mentioned the blog one too many times, I think. I just don't know when to keep my mouth shut, it seems.

Friday, August 25, 2006

It's what's on the inside that counts.


My sofa is a lovely one. I bought it with entertaining in mind...with stretching out to watch television and have nappy-naps in mind...with being able to provide comfort to guests in mind.

I loved it when I got it, but it's time to move on, and I plan on buying a new couch in a couple of months that fits the space in my living room better.

But here's where I'm stumped: How does one know what a good "stuffing" for the inside of the couch may be? I've found that the couch I purchased has broken down over time (under the weight of my almost-200-pound ass, duh), and it's hard to keep the pillows fluffed to an extent that pleases me. So the next sofa I purchase might be a bit more pricey, but dammit, I want the cushions to be able to handle the weight of two grown adults on a daily basis a HELL OF A LOT longer than just 3 years.

I've looked up a few things online, but nothing really definitive has emerged from my search. On one page, someone says to "avoid lower quality foam" and all should be well. But what's lower quality foam? What's it called? Is there a density number I should look for? Should I be ok just sticking to a certain down/foam mix, and if so, what percentage should I aim for? 20% down/80% foam? 25/75? 10/90? WHAT???

Does anyone know anything about sofas out there? Can you help me, please? I can't drop $2000 on a new sofa from Pottery Barn just because I believe that the more it costs, the better quality it'll be, because what if it's not? Yes, the mirror I bought from them on sale over 8 years ago is still living strong and well, but I tend to avoid sitting on that when I can. My drapes are good, and my carpet in the living room is still holding it's own even after 3 years of constant tread, vaccuming, and several recent incidents of doggy discharging. But I don't sit on those things, and I want the thing I sit on every fucking day to be something that can handle my ass.

Please. Impart your wisdom, and set my pained ass free, will ya? If you're timid about posting comments, send me an e-mail at faithsista at that yahoo place. (There's a link in my profile...)

This is my post for a Friday afternoon. This is what's on my mind. Well, this and the question of whether I'll be able to go home and exercise tonight instead of driving my ass to the Moose for badness in the form of food and beers. I'm really very torn right now, for some reason. God, I'm such an asshole...

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Trying to KILL ME!!!

I can't keep going like this...I really can't. Yesterday was slower than slow, boring, and depressing, really.

Today has been NON-STOP, constant, e-mails, letters, driving to pick up things, grabbing lunch, head blowing off the top of my shoulders, AUGH!!!!

AND a rock hit my windshield on my way back from the northland and gave me my very first chip in the darned thing. I didn't even have ONE chip in my windshield on my last car that I had for 10 years. And I've had this one for 4 now, and of course since I'm preparing to possibly sell it and move on to something more affordable, this has to happen. Perfect.

My head is literally spinning, is my point.

I wanted to post some commentary about the dress that won for Vincent last night on project Runway, and the pictures won't download, so forget it. Suffice it to say, I can't believe that piece of shit dress, that looked like half of it was about to fly OFF of the woman's body, won. It was proof to me that the show is rigged and fucked up.

Oh, and Michael Kors is a clone, apparently. Is it weird that his mother seems more masculine than he does? I mean,'s like they switched gender roles at some point in their lives. Creepy.

I thought Uli should've won, dammit.

And now I must leave. Thank goodness. Tomorrow's Friday. Good GOD I need it to be Friday.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I am, therefore I be

I just saw this. Why didn't I hear about this before now? Why do I stop reading between football seasons? FUCK!

Ok, new rules for college football play have been put into place. Basically, the clock starts when the ball is kicked off or punted rather than when it reaches the receiver's hands, and also, the play clock will begin after the ref signals "ready for play" after all possession changes.

These rules have been put in place to shorten games. They've gotten too long, and there's fear of loss in interest by the viewers due to the excessive length some games grew into over the last couple of years.

How much time is estimated to be saved by these ground-breaking new tactics? Hold on to your seat...

5 and a half minutes!!!

Calm down, now. Just CALM DOWN!! I know, I know...I was excited too. This means that I will be able to get to so many other tasks that I put off while watching games much earlier than usual, for which I am truly grateful. Starting my laundry 5 and half minutes earlier will be a lifesaver. Getting out to get yard work done that much sooner is really very important to me. Hell, if I happen to throw back a few too many and need to pass out as soon as a game ends, this mean I have 5 extra minutes in the sack! AWESOME!!!

For some reason, this time change rule was the forefront of the article I read on this issue, whereas I would have chosen to report primarily on the fact that instant replay will be put into use this year for all games. Coaches will have one challenge per game, and unsuccessful challenges will result in the deduction of a timeout (although the KC Star reported that it results in a timeout, I figure they were being stupid on their editing on that point, and I'm taking it upon myself to edit accordingly without checking the facts on whether, in fact, unsuccessful challenges do indeed result in a timeout. Because that makes sense. Jackasses...). I've been waiting for this rule to come into play for a long, loonng time, and can't wait to see the effect it has on the game this year.

Uh oh...I just thought about it, though, and it's likely to add a bit of time on to each game, possibly resulting in an extension of the length of time a game is played in! FUCK!! There go my extra 5 and half minutes. Dammit...

One more rule I found interesting. They're making the kickoff tee'll only be 1 inch instead of 2 inches tall. They've changed this rule in hopes that there will be shorter and lower kicks for more kickoff returns. I don't know what to think about this rule change yet, but I'm sure I'll have PLENTY of opinions about it once the season starts in a week and a half.

Holy shit! College ball starts in a week and a half. I don't know if I've properly prepared my liver for the onslaught of fun it's about to run into...I need to rethink the next 10 days fo sho. Do I still have a bottle of vodka in the freezer? I think I do...

I'm confused...

Remember back when I hated my job and was stressed and unhappy and irritated with the lack of compensation for the requirements of the position? Yeah, I do too.

So why is it I'm here at my lovely new job where I love the office, much of the staff, and the structure of my work day, and yet I feel a bit unfulfilled and blase about the work I do? It's almost like a work vacation doing the job I do, honestly.

I never thought I'd miss feeling challenged in my daily performance. But I think...and I'm not sure about this yet - just sounding off about it...but I think I might just be missing feeling challenged every day.

At my last job, I was handling complex reports, compensation, and commission situations on an almost every day basis. Here at my new job, I've spent the majority of the past two days sticking address labels onto postcards to send them out to folks. The other task I need to do? Make copies of stuff and put them into folders. Yeah. Real tough, challenging activities, eh?

I dunno...most of the time, I tell myself to not look a gift-job in the mouth. I love the environment, so I should resign myself to the mellowness of the position, right? But I feel like there's more I could do for one of the teams I work for, and it's as though they don't trust my ability to do what they need me to do. I just heard them talking this morning about hiring a new person to do some stuff they want done. Given, one of the reasons they need someone new is because they want someone that can meet with clients when they're unavailable. But their bosses, myself, and my co-admin don't get that aspect of what they want in an "assistant" as part of their specific job is, um, to meet with their clients. I mean, what's getting in the way of that? Bigger and better clients? Fuck that shit. Make room for ALL of them, and you'll make more money in the long run. I think these guys are only interested in reaching for the biggest piece of the pie they can potentially get their hands on, and that's not good business sense, IMO.

Anyway, their attitude towards my ability to help them is getting me down a bit, I suppose. The last person that handled their "overflow" was fired because of her compensation structure and the funky set-up of her position and what her "boss" was requiring her to do. Essentially, she was his admin, his lackey, his go-to girl for everything from presentation stuff to required paperwork to meeting with those ever-so-important-clients that he just didn't have time to get to (and some blow jobs on the side, as I understand it...). That didn't fly with his boss, though, who felt he was just losing money on her since she wasn't around much, and when she was, she wasn't doing what he had been told she would be doing for the company when he hired the team a little over a year ago. That pissed him off, and rightfully so.

While I can't dedicate myself to doing work for just one person in particular (remember the sticking of address labels and the copies from earlier in the post? They still need to get done, and I'm the girl to do it, and it's not that I mind doing it so's that it's almost the only thing I do which is ridiculous for someone with my abilities and experience), I can certainly do some of the things that that part of the team needs my help with, and the fact that they want to hire someone additionally onto the team makes me feel useless and like they view me as being just another stupid secretary.

Personally, I think the one guy is intimidated by my level of intelligence and ability to hold my own, but he'd never admit that. Whatev.

Feeling a bit blue today, is all. Just needed to get it off my chest...

I went to the gym last night to meet with my trainer for the first time in several weeks, and I realized why my workouts were seeming to be so "easy" lately. I don't push myself hard enough, I don't think. I mean, I'm not saying I need to get in there and HURT myself all the time, but the new exercises, the new techniques, the new ways of challenging my core were really fruitful it seems. Fruitful in the sense that I couldn't move my arms past a certain level after I left the gym when we were done. Fruitful in the sense that the only way I could shower and wash my hair before relaxing on the couch after the workout was to do so with lots of moaning and groaning and extra bursts of effort for which I needed to make a pact with the devil in order to obtain. Even shaving my legs was hard, and I don't even need to lift my arms much to do that. Hell, taking my contact lense out of my right eye before bed was impossible to do without my left hand holding my right arm still, it was shaking so much from the strain.

It was the contraction of the muscle that was virtually impossible to do. It didn't hurt. It was more of just an unwillingness on the part of the arm muscles to do any further contraction for the rest of the evening after I'd finished at the gym. Oh, and then my blood sugars plummeted so low that I couldn't even pull together my evening snack before bed. Thank goodness the fiance has been on vacation and was perfectly willing and almost eager to help me pull together my little egg salad I needed to eat. He's such a sweetie...

Anyway, it'll be nice to get back to regular meetings with the trainer in September. Meeting him weekly for even just a half hour will help keep me on the right track, and push me to keep challenging my body so it gains more and more strength throughout the next few months. We re-measured last night, and even though we didn't have an accurate reading on my actual size measurements (he admitted to doing it "all wrong" when he'd first started there, and said he had been pulling the measuring tape too tight on everyone, so we did our "starting measurements" last night, and will re-measure again in 3 weeks...), my body fat percentage has gone down 2% since I started working out with him in July. THAT is what I like to hear, my friends.

Ok, I gotta go. Turns out that those copies I need to make needed to be done earlier than I realized. Dammit...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Question of the day...

Q: Will rice cakes blow up if heated in the microwave?

A: Yes. Yes they will.

(For those who are curious as to why one would heat a rice cake in the microwave, it was because I made a mini-pizza out of one with some tomato sauce and soy mozzarella today for my snack. The recipe called for a small pita, but I don't have pita in my house, I have rice cakes. Waste not, want not! I used the rice cake instead, and watched the whole thing real close as it cooked, just in case. It gave a quick "pop!" right as I stopped it from heating, so I was able to avert micro-disaster, but I'm pretty sure had I let it go, there would have been rice cake, tomato sauce, and fake cheese EVERYWHERE in there. Now you know.)

I must be getting old...

Ok, I'm TOTALLY blanking on names when it comes to the guest list. I can see the faces, but the names are just running from my head right now. Of good friends, too!


Well that sucks.

Ok, even though I'm in a fabulously wonderful mood and feeling pretty high most of the time lately, it doesn't seem to have any effect at all on the driving ability or general appreciation of human space by the people around me. Hm. You'd think my aura right now would have more of an effect on those around me. Uh-uh.

Oh well!

So as of this morning, I've lost 5 pounds on this new plan I'm following, and I'm still really happy with it. I found a thread on the message boards on eDiets yesterday that gave me the formula for figuring out whether the things I'm eating are 40/30/30, and I've been rolling through some of my favorite sammiches and other things I like to order out for lunch to find the proper combination that's close to hitting the magic combo, and I've managed to find NOTHING so far. I think that a Wendy's chicken sammich with only half the bun and a side salad with low fat ranch would be ok, but I haven't calculated that entire meal out yet...just the sammich part. It's really hard to figure it all out outside of the meal plan that's given to me each week, but I'm working on it. I figure that the earlier I learn it, the better it will be for me in the long run. But the meals are still yummy, filling, and very satisfying in the portions they are divided into. I think this will be easy to maintain for the rest of my life, is the thing. I know I'm probably just feeling the early euphoria of initial success and all that comes with it, and in a couple of weeks, I might plateau and you'll find me freaking out again, but for now, it's a good place to be in.

Except I'm hungry at the moment. Dammit. I hate mid-mornings!

Over the weekend, I did my best to limit my portion sizes, but didn't really pay too much attention to the 40/30/30 thing. I ate more veggies than potatoes, I ate reasonable portions of protein, and I tried to not go too long between meals if I could; things were kinda hectic, so it was pretty much impossible to do. But. I got home and while I hadn't lost any weight, I didn't gain any either. The fiance and I went out for sushi last night, even, and I still lost a half a pound as of this morning since yesterday morning. And I didn't even work out yesterday! But getting the proper balance of fiber and all back into my body yesterday caused my bowels to open up last night and release all the bad stuff they'd been holding back for a couple of days, it seemed like. It wasn't pleasant, but it was necessary it seems. Continued this morning after I finished breakfast...although it was much more pleasant to deal with today comparatively. I won't go into further details. I'll just say it's nice to be regular again. :)

The fiance has thrown himself headlong into the process of planning, even sitting down last night and starting a list of guests he could think of off the top of his head. His mom called to talk to him about a shower for me (already!!!), and mentioned that she would like to have a few particular friends attending the wedding (or at least invited) as well. They're people from her and her hubby's church group, though, so fiance asked her to limit her list of people she'd like to invite from work and church to just 15-16. I thought that was reasonable. I have about 3 people to invite, so the more the merrier, I say!

Actually, after starting a list of folks in my head last night as he was writing things down for us, I realized how quickly the numbers can add up. As most of my family and a couple of friends reside on the California side of the planet, I will probably need to have a wedding shower there, which will also give some family members that might have a hard time travelling to KC for a wedding a chance to be involved in the whole process. I have a great aunt that I'd love to have come, but I don't know that she'll be able to make it all the way to KC for the wedding, for example. She's pretty spry, but I'm not sure how far she and my great-uncle are willing to go. But since my mom-in-law-to-be wants to throw me a shower too, we'll need to have a second one here. And I started thinking of all the people I want to invite to it, and it just hit me that I know more people and have more friends than I realized! I don't want to go overboard, but I do want to include people that have made a difference in my life over the last few years, so it's going to be interesting to see how it all works out.

Outside of that crap, I'm trying to keep a level head. I do this by thinking about stuff that is meaningless and silly, which is where television seems to help me the most. I still can't believe last week's Project Runway, for instance, and almost am kind of pissed at them for being so blatantly controlled by the producers. I know that Allison's dress wasn't the best one up there, but it most certainly wasn't the worst. Vincent continuously produces crap stuff for the runway, and consistently gets called on it, he defends it as "art" that "gets him off" and he heads back for another round week after week. I also thought it was strange that Michael's dress won last week over Jeffrey's dress. I don't like all of Jeffrey's designs, to be honest, but last week's was perfect. Fit perfect, moved perfectly, looked good, and I even liked the colors! I didn't understand why Michael won, especially with the plastic wrap (ha!) thingy he placed on his model's shoulders as a final touch to the outfit. It was ugly and not plausible as an outfit overall, I thought. Again, love the guy, but I thought Jeffrey had an edge over him was all.

Nothing else really interests me on t.v. right now, actually, except for my Food Network shows that make me happy, but I haven't had the time to sit and watch many of them lately I just realized! When did I become too busy for television? What has gone wrong in my life to lead me down this horrible and demented path? AUGH! I didn't mean to become this sick and twisted former shell of myself, I swear. Sometimes, these things just bite you on the ass when you least expect them to.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Fun time over...back to work!

I've returned from my long weekend. I know that's very exciting news for y'all.

Let's see...what happened while I was visiting South Bend for the last 4 days...

Well, I had long, drawn-out conversations with the boyfriend's dad that ranged in topic from Jesus Christ and his Truth to what streets are being closed/being opened around the Notre Dame campus. The man doesn't know how to filter, is the thing. The Jesus convo started early on Thursday, not long after we all sat down to party and have some ribs and beers in celebration of the boyfriend's birthday. His dad seemed to already be a bit tipsy by the time 6 p.m. rolled around, but I can't be too sure of that. Whenever he starts preaching to me about J.C. and this "truth" thing he believes in, he gets very glassy-eyed and weird, so it might not've involved alcohol in any way, really. Anyway, his mom and her friend saved me after about 40 minutes of me trying to get a word in edgewise, and I sat inside with them and had my beers with the girls instead of the boys while we waited for dinner to be completed. The rest of the weekend consisted of people doing their best not to leave me "stuck" with him alone for too long, even though I really don't mind his talks, I just wish he'd recognize when he's lost his "audience" so that he can wrap them up a bit better. Friday, it was a discussion about Thomas Jefferson, and Saturday we were too busy for anything to really get discussed, thank goodness, but he did manage to give me a little informative lecture about the street closures around the regional airport as we drove to the reception hall for the reception part of the wedding. Riveting.

Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, for which I came vastly unprepared not knowing it was going to be held on the mother of the groom's farm instead of in a restaurant. So I wound up wearing jeans and flip flops, of all things. The jeans were fine...even the flip flops were ok, dress-wise. It was the problem that it was raining for a good part of the evening, so the mud and wet grass kind of made me feel icky is all. No matter...the food was good, I had bug spray to keep the mosquitos at bay, and when we were done there, I was invited to join the groom and some of his groomsmen when they went out to a bar for drinks. It was a fun night. The groom is just such a funny guy! I felt lucky that they asked me to join them, honestly.

Saturday was a big mish-mosh of a mess. I was wearing, by far, the dressiest dress outside of the wedding party and the mothers of the groom and bride. It was cute, though, and as I've always felt that one can never be too overdressed, I felt fine about the dressyness (dressiness?)of it overall. Plus, my boyfriend was gonna be in a tux all night long, so if I stayed near him for the rest of the time we were at the party, then I'd look normal, I figured. But first, I went over to the church to help him mom set up the flowers (she did them in silk as a wedding present to the bride and groom), and then we had to race back to the house to get ready for the ceremony, which sucked because 3 of us needed to take showers all at the same time, and I needed to put on makeup, so yeah. Blech. But we pulled it off, and the ceremony was lovely and the priest was funny and poignant and said some stuff that made me go, "I hope the boyfriend is listening to this, dammit!" and we finished with that and went home to hang out for a few hours.

When we got to the reception, I finally saw the boyfriend, but it seemed he didn't see me. He took off to a room where the wedding party was waiting to be announced before he even acknowledged my presence. Two minutes later, as we waited in the drink line for drinks, he popped up again looking for his tux jacket. For some reason, his little brother had put it in the car, and he sent him out to get it. Again, he ignored me, but I figured he was being pressed by the wedding party to get back to the prep room, and let it go. Then I got carded for drinks, and the guy sent me to get my ID. My boyfriend's mom stayed on line, though, asked for a gin and ginger (which was what I was going to drink, and she thought she'd give it a try) and the bartender asked her how many she needed, 2 or 3? He had just turned both myself and my boyfriend's brother away for a drink since neither of us had our ID's on us, and apparently, he was fine with giving her 3 drinks instead. I was pissed for a bit, but I let it go after a while. I know I look younger than I am, but I don't look younger than 21, for fuck's sake. That's just craziness.

Finally, we were being served dinner. It was yummy Polish fare, and was very filling and tasty. After dinner, I saw the boyfriend leaving for a cigarette. As he did, one of the bridesmaids stopped him, pulled him down to her, and she kissed him on the cheek. As she is one of the sisters of the groom, I understood that she was just happy to hang out with him again after all these years and let it go. I had an extra pack of cigarettes in my purse that he had asked me to bring to him, so I thought he'd take this opportunity to come say hello, tell me he thought I looked pretty, and then invite me outside to hang out with him and his brothers. Nope. He just walked outside, and I got PISSED.

So. I got up, told his mom that I was about to give her son a little bit of hell, and walked out the door to ask him what the FUCK his problem was. I saw his brother when I was on the way out, and he asked me if I could get the extra cigarettes that I'd brought for the boyfriend from home, I looked at him with fire in my eyes, said, "No," very shortly and irritatedly, and then walked outside to see the boyfriend. He felt bad, I could tell. But then he started slurring at me about how much he loved me and how pretty I looked and I realized what the problem was. He was wasted. I should have known better after the best man's "speech" but I didn't think the boyfriend would be stupid enough to drink too much after the big breakfast of 3 eggs he had that morning, which was all he ate until dinner time. I overestimated on that, though, and he had consumed many beers, loads of champagne, and some fucking Hot Damn that an Irishman in the grooms party had picked up somewhere along the way. They were passing it in the limo. Classy.

So, he came in after my releasing of issues, sat down next to me, and again slurred into my ear about how he loves me. I was disgusted, though, and asked him to please get himself some water, we had a LONG night ahead of us of dancing and bouquet and garter tosses and cake cutting, and he needed to sober up for chrissakes! I asked him if he'd had enough food, or if I could get him something else, and he said he was some water, and we hung out and chit chatted a bit more. The best man had already made an ass out of himself (even though it was sort of funny at first, it wound up being just sad in the end...) and I didn't want to become the second casualty of the night by having Polish food and Hot Damn thrown up all over my chiffon dress while we were dancing to the music later on.

Boyfriend sobers up quick, though. We danced and sat and chatted with his family and ate cake and had a lovely evening from then on out. And then I discovered why he was so drunk/why he was acting strange all evening.

I did not catch the of the groom's sisters (who is already engaged AND prego, by the way) caught it, and a couple of other girls I didn't know caught the extra bits - it was one of those fall apart bouquet thingies. I've never been big on tradition, though, so I didn't care, really. I went back to my table to sit with the family while the garter toss went off and was happy to see that the boyfriend had caught it! His friends know that he and I want to get married, though, so I just figured it was fixed and sat back to drink my drink and wait for him to return to the table.

But he was given a microphone instead, and then the DJ was saying something I couldn't hear over the loudspeaker, but I saw his little brother waving me over to the dance floor. I was all, "I can see it from here! Yay! He caught the garter...good job honey!" But something fishy was going on, so I got up and went over to the dance floor to see what was up, drink in hand. The boyfriend started talking about how he knows that we haven't known each other for very know, the 2 weeks just seemed to fly by! (har har...) But he loved me very much, he said. And then he got down on one knee, whipped a little box out of his pocket, and asked me if I would marry him.

Ok, half way through the "speech" I knew what was going on and had my left hand clapped over my mouth and tried to keep from giggling too hard at the thought of it all FINALLY happening! I took the box from him, turned to hand my drink to his younger brother that was near by, thank God, and then opened it to see his grandmother's ring inside. I looked at him with my hand over my mouth again, nodded and dove at him to hug him all at once, if that makes any sense at all...I don't know how else to describe it. Everyone clapped and cheered, and I kissed him, and took the ring out of the box, and I think someone...maybe the bride?...told him to put it on my finger already, and then I turned to hug his mom who was crying near my right shoulder, and I asked her how she could keep it a secret all day? She told me, "Well, it was supposed to be a surprise!" It worked.

Apparently, the boyfriend (now switching to the fiance) had planned on just asking me at some point as we danced together. But the groom told him he had a better idea, and they hatched the garter-toss plan and then got pissed off their asses as they drove around town in the limo prior to the reception. So not only was my boyfriend nervous about just the asking part of the proposal (even though he knew my answer, it was still a nerve-wracking concept, apparently), but he was also nervous about doing it in such a flamboyant way, in front of everyone, ON TAPE, with a microphone. He did a great job, considering, and we did become "mini-celebrities" at the wedding for the rest of the night, but it was just perfect as it was.

So, that was a fun evening. Oh, and later that night, as we all (his parents, his little brother, him and I) all sat on the back porch drinking port and shooting the shit, we heard a terrible scream and a "BOOM!" out front of the house. I was worried it might've been a gunshot, not knowing what all gunshots sound like, especially so close at hand. But it turned out that some dumbass chick had driven her car into the van that the fiance's parents own that was sitting in front of the house. She then tried to back up, dragged the van with her, and realized she was stuck. She was ok, but the car was so wedged under the van, we couldn't figure out how to get them untangled from each other! They wound up getting a tow truck to come lift the van off the car, and they were able to drive it home without any problem after that. The girl's parents came to get her, and I'm not sure that any charges were being pressed or anything. She was all freaked out, and pretty lucky to be alive, actually, so I'm not sure whether she was drunk or just stupid or both. What she did was stupid (driving too fast on a narrow street, and didn't slow down when she needed to wait for an oncoming car to pass her, causing her to have no choice but to slam into the back of the van), but my father-in-law to be didn't really get the details too well put together, unfortunately. We were all a bit tipsy by then, especially after the port we drank, so it was hard to focus on all the stuff going on, it seemed.

So that was how my weekend went. I'm engaged now, and we're very happy. I can't wait to start planning, and need to make a list of all the things I think I'm going to need to do, so I can call the Big Papa and start discussing budget numbers. Yesterday he joked about being able to spare $2,000 right now, and I laughed and the fiance laughed when I told him what dad had said (because he knows me all too well), and then dad said, "Well, maybe $4,000." He's such a funnay guy...

Now I must look for some work to do, so I can get back into the swing of things around here. I wish I could have taken today off as well, and in hindsight, the boyfriend and I wished we'd made our plans to fly home today instead of yesterday (I was hurting yesterday morning, but he was TWICE as bad, I'm sure...), but we got some rest after we got back, had a nice night last night, and are getting back to normal as quickly as we can. He's going to get the puppy from the boarding place today, and I can't wait to see her! So, is good. I'm feeling really, really good.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Run out of gas...

Ok, so I didn't really have much time to post again, as I was too busy having fun at work! (No was fun. I swear. Whatever...)

But here's the jist of the info I wanted to share: Blahblahblah parking meters, blahblah going to be running on "sonar technology" soon, so blahblahblah time left on the meter after a car leaves the spot will be a thing of the past.

Check this for more info. It's the 3rd story down on the page. And I think I actually typed more info about it here than they did in their story, now that I look at it. It still bothered me enough to wanna write about it, is the thing. Kick ass!

Happy Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, friends. Later!

2 new planets...

Did you ever sit back and wonder about your contribution to the world, where it's taking you, and whether or not you'd be better off just climbing into a hole in the ground, covering yourself with a rock, and never having any human contact again whatsoever?


Yeah, me either. :P

Last night, we celebrated the boyfriend's birthday in style by heading to a dive bar recommended to us by a questionable acquaintance that the boyfriend used to work with, and wound up being very pleasantly surprised! They had pool tables (1st game was free, and all others were only $.75), an air hockey table which I dominated of course!, and a shuffleboard game that didn't work, but we could still play on and add up the points ourselves, so we did. The boyfriend beat me by a small margin on that one, our pool games came out even, and again, domination on the air hockey table belongs to moi, so that's that.

We went home and he spoke to his parents for a good long time via cell, and then we opened his present (a pocket watch he's been wanting) and had champagne and did other things, and went to bed quite late. So I skipped the workout today, started my vacation early when it came to my new eating plan and am winging it as of today instead of starting tomorrow. Won't be able to stick to a menu plan while we're in South Bend, so I have to use my limited knowledge of the plan that I know thus far as well as a little common sense when it comes to eating at the boyfriend's parents' house, at the wedding we go to on Saturday, when we go out to the rehearsal on Friday night, etc...I think I can pull it off. We'll see...

Outside of that, nothing much is going on. The Twin hates my guts right now, so there's that, but I've said all I can say on the issue, and sending any more e-mails or trying to call her won't be a good idea (after the response I sent her today, of course...), so I'm leaving the ball in her court. We haven't had problems like this since high school, I think. It sucks, but I've done all I can do, IMO. (This tone you're reading isn't disinterest or lackadaisicalness about the situation, by the way. It's more of a I've-done-all-I-can-I-don't-know-what-I-did-in-the-first-place-&-completely-disagree-with-the-position-I'm-being-put-in-and-wish-that-rationality-would-step-in-at-some-point-before-things-go-too-far tone, believe it or not...) I'm really hoping that she's able to talk to our brother and sisters about it, maybe even our parents, and get their opinions and hear their side, and maybe make some fun of me in the process because it's completely within reason to do so, and that she calls me when she's ready to talk. I know she's reading this, because, duh, I have site meter, so hopefully this doesn't step over whatever bounds she's set up for my behaviour in her mind. I can only try to be the best person I can be, and I think I've done a pretty damned good job of it considering what we've all been through over the past 10 years, so that's that.

Work is busy, as usual...I'm getting my hair done at noon to fix a problem we had with color from when I had it done a week and a half ago, so that shortens my day a bit more as well. I'd better run. Not sure if I'll post more later, but we'll see. I had one more little story written down to talk about from over the weekend, so I still want to put that up. Keep an eye out for changes, since today's will be the last ones until next Monday. Ta!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Wait a minute...this woman that admitted to killing her husband by shooting him after they'd fought about financial issues, and has been in jail since the authorities caught her in Alabama (where she had run away to after she shot her husband...), was released from jail today on a $750,000 bond that was in place?

Sooo, murderers that have confessed to their crime can be let out of prison these days by just paying a certain amount of cash? Has this always been the case? Or is it special for her because her husband lost all their cash by falling for one of those ridiculously stupid Nigerian money scams that I can't believe people actually think are real. Ever. I mean, obviously, her husband was an idiot...sure. But still, he was her husband. You'd think she would have noticed the idiocy prior to the marriage, and just accepted it as part of the package, loving him anyway for being so quirky. (Kinda like how I still love my boyfriend even though he managed to pee on the floor next to the toilet sometime last night before he came to bed, and then left it there for me to clean up. Yep...he's a boy. I love him the way he is. Dammit.)

I'm confused. Why would a judge put a bond on a case like this? She admitted to killing him. Isn't that something that kind of earns one a go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 card?

I don't understand some people, honestly...

Umm, cake please.

On Saturday night, after watching the Chiefs lose it to Houston, the boyfriend and I were sitting around the bar chatting with his coworkers and some other patrons that were coming and going from the table. We were planning on heading out with one of the coworkers and another regular after we were done with our drinks, which I was looking forward to due to the promise of pool and kareoke at the bar we were going to go to. (I've been wanting to sing for sooo long now! I was really in the mood.)

I sat and chatted with the one coworker of his about my new diet plan and the workouts I've been doing, etc, etc...and she told me that her sister had started Lite 4 Life a few months ago and was doing really well with it. I don't really know much about Lite 4 Life, so I asked her what their basic break down is, if she knew. She told me that first of all, they had recommended to her sister that she stop working out because she was too large to be putting that kind of stress on her joints and muscles. Um, WTF? Apparently, she now weighs about 165, and she's lost about 15 - 20 pounds on the program already. I told this chick that I weighed 195 at my heaviest, and I've worked out pretty much all my damned life without any issues. I've never even HEARD of something so fucking ridiculous!

They also put her through a "detox" when she initially started the program where she was required to eat 15 pounds of meat per day for 3 days in a row. Apparently, she had to take those days off work because she was feeling so shitty (yeah, ya think?!), and by the end of each day, she was ready to throw up just thinking of meat, and found it difficult to even swallow the last bit of it that she needed to eat.

I don't know why someone would actually hear such bullshit and actually stick around to hear what else the program had to offer them, much less PAY THEM MONEY to help them lose weight!

Then again, this coworker of my boyfriend could just be a complete idiot. I dunno. She's a fun girl, and all, but I don't know her well enough to be able to say for sure if she might've just had the facts all wrong.

Has anyone ever heard of this program? I've seen their signs on buildings around town, but haven't ever checked them out. I might look some shit up online, but please let me know if you know if this chick was just full of shit, or what. Because it just doesn't sound right. Telling a woman that weighs 180 not to work out because she's too fat to do so. That's such total bullshit, IMO.

Ok, work beckons...gotta run!

Monday, August 14, 2006

To get to the corner and back again...

I want to post more, honestly, but I'm tight on time since I've got a short week, and today I had to go home for lunch and to let the puppy out, so things are even more scrunched than usual. Tomorrow should be better.

But here's one of the strange things that I ran across over the weekend...I was in my local gas station, grabbing a 44 ounce so-da, and a chick came in just before I was able to lug my cup to the counter to pay. She asked for the cashier to put $5 on pump #1.

Um, $5? Really? Ok, so what'll that get a person these days? A gallon and a half, maybe? I use the middle-grade of gas, so for me, that's all it'd get. If I used the lower grade, then I s'pose I could get almost 2 gallons out of it, but still...that'd barely get a girl to the other side of the city, for chrissakes!

I can totally relate to budgeting and only buying what one needs, honest. But it just seemed strange to me, is the thing. $5 worth of gas. I remember when that could get a person 3 - 4 gallons, which is a sufficient amount to get around town for a couple of days in my car. Crazy, crazy world...

No title. Not in the mood.

I'm in a terrible mood this morning. It's been raining all night, stormy and thundery and loud, and I didn't sleep all that great (neither did the boyfriend) until maybe about 2, and then I got up at 5, of course. Starting yesterday afternoon, I was put into a shitty place by the Twin, and now she's mad at me, so you shouldn't expect many comments from her around here for a while. (Not that she's been posting too many anyway, except to pick on me and my opinion since she came to visit, but apparently that was the beginning of her issues with me so it makes sense, really. I guess she's been mad at me since the visit really, although I'm not sure why. She says it's because I was "rude" to her and her girls the entire time they were here. I just don't get that at. all.)

I have more stuff to post later, but I need to pull it out of my purse (I wrote stuff down as I thought of it, finally!!), and I don't really have the energy to do that right now, for some reason. Definitely later. In the mean time, I'll work, and I'll talk to coworkers, and I'll hope for the blue skies to show themselves sooner rather than later. Ta!

Friday, August 11, 2006

So far, so good...

Well, I dropped 4.5 pounds this week, so I'm on the right track finally, it seems. I had a couple of weak moments over the past 2 days in particular, but considering I've only been following the meal plan for the past 4 days (today is the 5th), I'd say it's doing something right in my body "formula" to have it respond appropriately, finally. Exercise alone didn't do it. Eating healthy most of the time didn't do it either. It took a drop in sodium, processed foods, and overall calories to do it. Just like I thought.

The great thing about the plan I've chosen is that it's not only easily adaptable to both my dietary needs as well as the boyfriend's, but it has recipes for food that are easy to make and taste really good. After just one week, I have a better idea of how to substitute things so I can buy less at the grocery store this week, and still stick to the "plan" as required. I have a good idea of how to handle my plan while I'm away next week in South Bend. And no matter what, with the calorie intake vs the calories I'm burning right now, I'll be sure to lose 1 - 3 pounds a week if I can just keep this up as I have been. And that's just with 4 workout days and 1 heavy work-around-the-house day each week! It's totally doable and not too tiring and easy to keep up with, is my point.

I'm sure I'll be back at 160 again before I know it. (But I'm trying to focus on just 10 pounds at a time. And I'm really hoping that by the time I get to 160, I'll be motivated to go to 150. Because that'd be the ideal weight for me to reach and maintain...)

And that's all there is to say about that.

Yesterday, I had two coworkers tell me that they'd had dreams that involved myself or both myself and another coworker. One of them involved nudity, and the other was really more mundane comparatively, so I don't remember it all that well, but that's probably due to the nudity issue in the other dream. Poor thing really couldn't compete with that, I guess. I'm not sure what to think about the fact that so many coworkers are having dreams that involve me right now except maybe to say that my plan for total mind control and domination via the refrigerator is apparently working, so I'd better keep on it until I get to the point where people actually give me money to clean their old nasty shit out of the fridge for them.
I also figured out where Jessi lives finally, and we are, indeed, very close together. (She had a dream about me the other night too, it seems. Since she has nothing to do with the fridge at work, I can't say I understand that entirely...) It's kinda fun to know that the blogger world that I exist in is as small as it is, sometimes. It's nice to have "friends" in Australia, too, but you know what I mean.
Ok, so I must get on now with the fighting the good fight and staying away from the free hashbrowns in the kitchen, so I'd best be off. As it is Friday, and things have been kinda slow around the office as of late, you can count on probably one more post from me later today. Things have been popping into my head all week that I think, "Hey! I should blog about that! Write it down...write it down!" But I didn't write it down, and now I can't remember what I was gonna blog about. I need to get better about that, honestly. Because some funny shit happened to me this week, I swear! I remember laughing several times throughout the week. Which is always a good thing, but it's BETTER when I can share the laughs! I'll make a better effort from now on, honest to peas.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Holy crap...

My boss is a difficult man. He's a good man, but he's a difficult man. He flew to the UK last Friday for a 10 day vacation with his 17 year old, and has had nothing but trouble since he got there.

First of all, American Airlines lost his luggage. As of yesterday, they still didn't have their bags! That's 5 days WITHOUT luggage, folks. In a foreign country. Nice.

American Airlines STILL had no idea where the bags were at as of Tuesday afternoon, when my coworker was trying to help track them down and was told specifically by the "customer service" agent on the phone that since she wasn't the one travelling, she wasn't going to help her, and then hung up on her. Clearly, she's one of those types of people that doesn't realize there are bosses in this world that don't know how to take care of themselves without an assistant. Our boss is one of those people (remember, I'm now in charge of all of his insurance needs...because that's fun.), and did NOT want to speak to the airline folks about his lost luggage any more than my coworker did. She finally had to tell him to take care of it himself, though, because she had work to do, and she wasn't getting anywhere with them, and - oh yeah - THEY AREN'T HER BAGS THAT ARE MISSING! Sucks to be him, but thems the breaks...

And now. Now we have to have some terrorist plot that might prevent him from having a decent travel day today (he's going from Scotland to Ireland this morning), and likely will make it more difficult for him to get home from Dublin on Sunday. I mean, here's to hoping he has an easy time of it, but it's doubtful now, isn't it? Thank GOD he left London 2 days ago, and doesn't have to deal with the Heathrow crap, right? Jeezy chreezy...

The boyfriend and I will be travelling through Chicago next week to go to a wedding in South Bend, Indiana on the 19th. We've been looking forward to the trip for a while now, and won't let a little rule preventing us from being able to take liquids on the plane in our carry-ons keep up from enjoying the time away. I have a feeling that the fact that we are leaving a small airport (KCI is so perfectly wonderful for traveling out of during hightened security times, it's not even funny...) to go to a small airport, and vice-versa, will make things much easier on us, too. Yeah, we have to pass through O'Hare on our way to and from South Bend, but we won't have to deal with checking in there, thank goodness!

Good job to all authorities that caught on to this plan before anything happened. Now if they could just find those missing Egyptian students that were supposed to be in Montana last month, I'd feel even better...cuz, yeah. 11 students just not showing up where they were supposed to is normal. Whatev.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Time to gooooo...

There were chips and salsa down the hall in the kitchen for the last 3 hours of the day, and I'm proud to say that, even though I knew they were in there, and I also had to go in there several times to get beverages throughout the afternoon, I didn't touch them!

Ok, total lie. I SOOO touched them! I ate around 5 of them, and I enjoyed the FUCK out of them, so there! I'm so weak, it's pitiful. (But! In my defense, they were the very hardest of all chips and salsas to ignore...the kind from Jose Peppers which are all thin and crispy and see-through because of their friedness. The salsa from there is some of my favorite salsa EVER. Very good stuff. Dammit.)

But I've been really good this week so far, and I'm gonna go ahead and call my weight loss 2 days early. I'm gonna say that I've lost 3 pounds this week. I can feel it in mah bones.

Outside of that, I can say that the boyfriend was acting weird last night and I hope he's better tonight because it was driving me mad, and tonight is Project Runway and I'm very much looking forward to that shit. I also hate my backyard, because it's the trashiest, nastiest looking yard in the neighborhood and I covet my neighbor's yard and I'm pretty sure that's against a commandment of some sort so now I'm going to hell for having poor gardening skeills and would it be weird to ask my neighbor to come landscape in my yard for me?

Thank GOD, it's time to go. Later...

Quick question...

I just found something through my sitemeter that kind of confuses me, and I'm wondering if any bloggers (or avid readers of blogs) might be able to help me understand it. It's this. You might have to just click the link to see what I'm refering to...I'm not sure I can describe it all that well, but basically, it appears to be a site called BlogShares that has my blog listed on it, and shows what it's worth based on something that I can't figure out. Says my blog's worth is $11,519.23, but I don't understand what that means. They talk about it being a "game" of some sort. Um, wha...?

It mentions something on the help page about "claiming your blog"...has anyone done this, and is there any reason I should do it?

WTF is this all about? Is it a good thing that my blog is "worth" what it says it is? Does that mean that I'm more popular than I realized, and I need to bump up my content to a more interesting level? Help a sista out, if you would...gracias mucho.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Hurting a little bit...

I hate the drop to 1200 - 1300 calories. It sucks to be hungry. I know some people enjoy the feeling of being hungry, namely anorexics and the like, but I don't. I've never understood the anorexic thought process, because when my tummy says, "Hey mum, I'm hungry!" I listen and I tend to feed it shit. Earlier today, it wanted Cheez-Its. Right now, it's more in the mood for some beef jerky and some pistachios. I will dutifully wait a half hour for my afternoon snack of blueberries, cheddar soy cheese (blech!), and 4 - that's right, 4 - whole, unsalted cashews. I was good earlier, and I successfully ignored the pleas for Cheez-Its, and simply had some more water and waited for lunch to feed the tummy monster.

It helps that there is a little community on eDiets that I can post my issues to and read about other struggles on and get advice from. But I can't spend 8 hours a day looking at it, is the problem. So I hope for more work to come across my desk, listen to music, and try to think of how lovely it'll be to fit into more pairs of jeans that I own, and how nice it's gonna be when I can wear my favorite jeans skirt without straining the zipper once winter comes again. (I wear it with black's a main staple to my favorite weekend outfit, and my "lucky charm" when it comes to USC games. Don't know how lucky it'll be this year, but we'll see...) If the weather would cool down a smidge, then I could take little walks around the block when I'm feeling those hunger pangs, window shopping away my desires for food, and hoping that my future meals will satisfy the beast inside me that constantly picks on me, telling me to go ahead and have a BLT for lunch, or order those fries because I deserve them, or to go home and skip the workout in the evening because I'm too tired to do it.

My tummy is definitely my enemy.

But that isn't really news, now, is it?

It's my half-birthday today, and for the first time in years, I kinda forgot about it until I saw the date on my phone when I got to work this morning. I guess that preparing and having the birthday party for the boyfriend last night kinda distracted me from it, but oh well. I've decided to have a belated half-birthday celebration tomorrow here in the office, to which I will bring my left-over veggie and dip tray that I made for the party last night. I'm just gonna freshen up the carrots and celery, and have everyone here eat the dip for me. Because if it's in the house? Believe me...I'll find the justification/occassion to eat it.

Oh, don't tell me you wouldn't do the same. Ranch dip goodness is tough to resist, muthafuckas!

Oh, and your thong is fulgy, beyotch.

Ok, I have to say that I'm not liking my breakfast very much this morning so far. It's a tofu scramble with zucchini and green onions, a little garlic powder and some oregano, and I'm wishing that I had some parmesan (soy, of course) to dump on top of it to give it a bit more flavor. That would make it perfect, IMO. But I'm starving, and it's a filling breakfast, to say the least, so I'm eating it and just dealing for now. I don't think I'll make it again, unless I find a way to spice it up properly. (I also have some sliced strawberries and a piece of whole wheat bread to round things out...those are helping break up the boring tofu dish, thankfully.)

Successful morning at the gym. No foul smells near me while I cardio'd, the t.v.'s remained on the channels I wanted them to be on (although none were tuned to local news, but maybe I can fix that tomorrow morning), I caught up on my ESPN shtuff, so that was all nice. The locker room was the difficult area today. I walked in to put my stuff in a locker, and the whole room was wet and musty. It was like someone had come through with a hose and hosed the place down, and it hadn't dried yet because it was too fucking humid to do so. So all the benches were totally wet, and even a few of the lockers I tried to put my stuff in were wet on the bottom shelf. I finally found a dry part of a bench and a dry locker and put my stuff in it, and went out to let an employee know about the problem and they took care of it while I was working out. But it was so hot in the gym today, for some reason. And the locker room isn't any better than the gym area when it comes to that, so I sweat, and I sweat, and I showered and then I sweat some more...I HATE it when my body keeps sweating that badly. Drying my hair sucked, putting on my makeup was a nightmare! Awful. Just awful, really.

So then I finished up with my hair and makeup and went back to my locker to get dressed, and someone has put their bag and stuff on the bench right in front of my locker. Now, I don't know if I'm the only person that does this, but when I get to the locker room in the morning, I try to find a locker that is surrounded by other open lockers. This ensures that I will have plenty of room to get dressed and spread out a bit when I'm getting all my shit together after working out. There are around a dozen women in there between 6:50 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., all trying to shower, do hair and makeup, and get out the door. We stagger our processes pretty well though, and while I've been in the mirror area with aroun 6 other women before all doing our makeup and hair at once, today there were only 4 of us at the busiest time. So it varies a good deal when it comes to volume of women doing their thang in there. Some people just come in to workout, and leave their purses in the smaller lockers. Good deal. One of those came in today and put her shit in a locker right next to mine, which I thought a bit rude, but I moved my stuff to a more open-locker area, and went about my routine as usual. But when I returned to the area to get dressed after I was done with hair and makeup, and I found this asshat had left their bag and other shit just lying all over the place like that, it pissed me off.

First of all, I keep all my stuff in my locker when I'm not around it. I get what I need for my shower, and I close the door and go to the shower area. I come back, I put on my underwear, I grab my hair and makeup stuff, and I close the locker again before I head into the mirror area to get ready. This is not only preserving my "valuables" (heh...yeah, does someone want some sweaty extra-large Target workout clothes and a pair of $40 Adidas that are a bit worn and ucky? No? Kay...), but it's helping to keep the area clear for the other women that might need to get ready in the same area as me. This is called basic common courtesy, and everyone should practice it, yo. Ain't that hard.

So this bitch's stuff is on the bench in my way, and I get dressed, and try to get out of there so I can get to work on time when the girl returns from the shower area to continue getting ready.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that this chick was not shy AT. ALL. Hell, I was suprised she didn't break out a vibrator to warm herself up a bit before the day really got started for her. I'm standing RIGHT THERE, and she flings her towel off her body, and starts to dry her hair with it. Needless to say, she was buck nekkid, which I'm fine with, but I was bending over my bag getting the last of my goodies together when she pulled this towel trick, and so her ass was RIGHT in my face. No kidding. I actually exclaimed a little in surprise at her audacity and complete disregard for any kind of personal space whatsoever, and she kind of looked around after a second and realized that her choocha (she had turned around at that point, lucky me) was right in another chick's face, and she decided it might be time to move over a bit. Yeah, ya think?

She continued to get ready like that, too. I was able to put on my deodorant and get out of there, but she was just taking up the space that 3 people could fit in, flinging her boobies around carelessly, hanging out in her thong as she combed through her long hair, throwing the strands that were falling out as she did so anywhere on the floor that she cared to. (Am I weird to collect my hair and take it all to the trashcan, just like I try to do at home? Hair all over the floor is gross...) She pissed me off. And NO, it's not just because she was skinny. It's because she was RUDE. I'm not an asshole like that...if she'd been a nice skinny girl, I would have been envious of her, but instead I was just glad that my parents raised me to have some fucking manners.

I need to get some work done, but needless to say, my day hasn't started off exactly the way I'd have prefered it to. I'm hoping that it gets better and better as the day goes on. Hope the same happens for all of you, too!!

Monday, August 07, 2006


I've tried posting some new pictures here at least twice now and am being denied each time I try, so I give up! I GIVE UP, I tell you!!

(Ok...maybe one more try...)

Basically, I'm kinda hungry for a snack that's bad for me, and I'm trying to not focus on it by staying busy and having fun at the same time! So I'm trying to post pics of the most recent puppy stuff that occured at the house, as well as the pre-engagement ring as promised. But Blogger or my internet or BOTH are being a pain, and not letting me get anywhere with it.

HEY! It worked! Ok, here we go...

Here's a picture of poor Pudge just trying to relax a bit after initially meeting his sister Izzy again after 4 months, and after having traveled for 3 days in a car for the first time ever, and after seeing a back yard that actually has space in it for the first time, etc...He just wanted to lay there and be mellow, and Izzy was having none of it. This is a picture of her climbing on top of him, with her tongue out because she was beyond excited the ENTIRE time he was in the house, and wouldn't calm the fuck down. The Twin had been trying to hold her back but gave up, I believe. Damned exciteable'd think we never let her out of the house! Which we do! I swear! (It's not my fault that the main contact she has with animals her size or smaller is through a fence or with squirrels that happen to be passing by, right?)

Here's what Izzy looks like when she passes out completely, and doesn't have any exciting prospects whatsoever to hold her interest. She fell asleep on her back while wedged between my thigh and a pillow on the couch last weekend, and it was just sooo nice to have her not moving or trying to lick me or trying to bite me or trying to get me to throw the chew toy - ANY chew toy! - for her to chase, that I had to document it. Yes, she has a frightening overbite...thank GOD she isn't a child! I can only imagine the orthodonture bills...

And here is the famous "pre-engagement ring" that the boyfriend gave to me last weekend. I know it's a fuzzy picture, but it's the best I can do. I love how my digital camera wants to focus on the shit in the background rather then what's directly in front of it. Bastard.

There you go. Now I'm only a half hour away from going home, busting my ass to finish up some things before the party, as well as cooking two meals for tomorrow before people arrive. I hope it doesn't rain. The boyfriend bought a bocce ball set to play with after we eat! I'd like to play, please...

A new me? I sure as hell hope so...

So here’s what I did: I went to, and I chose a diet plan (rather blindly, actually, but I think it might be a good one for me…), and I’ve started it today as I wasn’t able to get to the market to shop for all the food for it until yesterday afternoon. The rest of the weekend, I ate what I wanted, but was reasonable about it. (I wanted to have a last couple of days of "fun" before really buckling down to the new diet plan…) For example, on Saturday night, I couldn’t decide what kind of "bad" food I wanted, so I finally settled on naked chicken fingers in buffalo sauce with fries. And I ate almost all those fries dammit. But Sunday, I basically ate a salad and some cheeseless pizza, so I made up for it really.

I chose the Glycemic Impact diet that eDiets offers, and am interested in seeing how it works out. People on the message boards are talking about "40/30/30" all the time, and about how to make a meal 40/30/30, and how to keep within the 40/30/30, and "is your life 40/30/30? Because my life is 40/30/30 and it’s so wonderful remaining 40/30/30! YAY!" So I don’t know when that mentality will kick in, but I suppose it’s bound to happen if I stick to the plan for a while (which I plan to do for at least 2 months), and then I will start thinking in terms of 40/30/30-ing everything I do, so whatev. It’s basically NutriSystem, as I see it, but it’s not, because eDiets talks about the glycemic impact instead of focusing on the index, and apparently there’s a difference there. I don’t care, really. As long as it works…

The meal plan is the tough part. Oh, it’s easy enough to prepare the food, I’ve found. That’s not hard. The recipes are easy to follow and taste pretty good from what I’ve tried so far. What was tough was buying and then storing all the fucking food I had to get for just this one week. For example, I only need something like 4 oz of firm tofu and 2.5 oz of soft tofu this week. Unfortunately, I can’t find a tofu store that sells me just the amount I need, so I had to buy the tofu in normal blocks of however many ounces they come in (is it 16? Seems like its 16, but I could be wrong…), and that sucks. Chicken freezes, so no problem there. Turkey is the same way. Tofu? Doesn’t freeze well, as I understand it. So it’s not like I can break open a block, use half of it, and then put away the other half for next week’s menu…nuh-uh. Tofu goes bad quickly. You can’t save tofu for a week, or you might give yourself the gift of bathroom fun. I HATE bathroom fun, so I try to avoid it at all costs.

Anyway, I spent over $165 at the market yesterday just stocking up for this diet alone. That doesn’t count the amount I spent on the items needed for the boyfriend’s birthday party I’m having tonight at the house, either. All together, yesterday I spent about $325 on food and alcohol, and I’m in pain today thinking about it…PAIN, I tell you!

Luckily, a lot of the big price items I bought for the diet will last me at least 3 weeks. There’s nothing I can do about the fact that fresh blueberries cost as much as they do, but try to buy them at the store that likely sells them for the least amount. Along those same lines, I can’t help the fact that yesterday the Walmart Grocery didn’t have any cilantro or flatleaf parsley (don’t buy the curly shit, folks…it tastes completely different and should really only be used as garnish…really), and I had to buy them at Whole Foods (where I also bought my tofu and some fish I needed) instead for $1.50 each, rather than the $.69 I usually pay elsewhere. I could have gone to a third grocery store…I really could have. But I was exhausted already, and had frozen things melting and items that needed to be refrigerated getting very warm with each ten minute interval that passed with them in my trunk, and going to a third place to save $1.60 seemed unreasonable to me, for some reason.

I kept thinking to myself, "Hell, I could be doing Jenny Craig again for this kind of money!" But I don’t wanna eat pre-packaged foods all the time, and have to deal with them calling me again all the time, and go through the loss/gain cycle again. I just want to lose weight and keep it off somehow. I just hate that I have to spend so much to do it, I guess…

So here’s the deal: I weighed 195 last week on the digital scale at the gym. I’m keeping up with my workouts (4 days last week, 2 of which were weight-training days…), and now I’m doing this plan that has me scheduled to eat only 1200 – 1300 calories per day. I’ve done it before, and I do get quite hungry at times, but I’m gonna persevere. But I’m not going to get nuts about it…
I was at the gym on Saturday, doing my normal weight-training crap that I do twice a week, and saw a couple of those weight-training obsessed women while I was there. The one chick was pretty…she was scary thin, and kept pulling up her shirt to flex her stomach muscles for her boyfriend, but whatever…I’ve gotten used to the vanity on display at the gym over the last few weeks, and couldn’t care less about the complete lack of tact on these people’s parts. She was still pretty, is my point. Probably about my age, and very fit. Her muscles weren’t all out of control with their definition, but I could tell that she was an addict, and would soon turn into that kind of body if she kept up with what she was doing.

Then a friend of hers showed up. This woman was a prime example of where this cuter girl would wind up if she remained in the current path that she was on, and she was also the kind of woman that I think scares a lot of women from wanting to weight-train at all, due to her overly-toned and way-too-tight body. Her arms looked like a man’s. Unfortunately, her face did as well. Her hair was stringy and looked really course. And while she was probably only in her late 30’s – early 40’s, she looked old due to her drawn facial qualities. She looked like a man! It was scary.

I don’t know what gets a person to the point where they think that looks pretty. Where they think that they are healthier and better looking than chubby girls like me because of the attention they give to the body building they do. What drives a person to get to that point, is the thing? Here…look at this picture**, and tell me it’s pretty. Blech. I just can’t imagine what makes someone wanna look like that!

Then again, they may say the same of me, right? To each their own, I s’pose.

By the way, I looked up the info on boils on Yahoo! the other day, and found links to what my type of problem likely is…it’s called hidradentitis suppurativa, and it’s kind of like the acne I had when I was growing up (cystic acne), except it’s on my inner thighs. I don’t have the really bad types of boils that are caused by staff infections, I don’t think, because what I hear about those doesn’t sound like the same symptoms of my condition. Regardless, it’s not curable, but hopefully losing some weight will help. We’ll see. The goal on eDiets is to lose about 2 pounds a week, and I’m fine with that. My initial weight gain since I’ve started working out (I’ve gained about 2 pounds since working out at the gym) is apparently due to the muscle building I’m doing, but it’s been holding steady for the past 2 weeks now and that doesn’t seem right to me, so it must be my caloric intake, is all I can figure. I’m committed now. I thought I was before, but I was wrong. THIS is commitment. Just keep reading, and I’ll tell you all about how it goes. (Not all day, every day, by the way…this is just a little bit of what I’m experiencing as of late, and I’ll keep posting about crazy news stories and weird people I run into and other fun stuff in addition to my weight loss crap. Because not everyone is interested in a fat girl and her boils, I know. Not to worry…)

**Link removed on 3/28/07, due to unwanted traffic being diverted here from it. Weird and gross and ew.

Friday, August 04, 2006

I'd like to go home now, please...

I finished my lunch off with something too sweet (sweet pickle, to be exact), and I should've finished it off with the salty instead. Even though I'm full now, I still feel like eating, and I think it's because of that mix up. Dammit!

I'm tired of being fat. I'm not sure if other chubbier folks can identify with this, but I know I didn't have this problem before I got fat, so I'm gonna assume they can: the boils I get on my inner thighs have got. to. go. I'm so tired of them, I'm going to go ahead and massively cut back on calorie intake as of tomorrow. I'm back to counting again, folks. I can't stand it any more...Must lose 20 pounds before the end of September, or I will lose my shit, I swear. The fat arms, the fat pants, the trying to look classy even though I'm wearing a size 18 dress - done. Done, done, DONE!!

I'm going to 1200 starting tomorrow. I won't be starving myself, but in conjunction with the workouts I've been doing, it'll HAVE to do something, right?

Stupid fucking boils.

(I know you've all heard this tirade before, but believe me...I'm making changes NOW. I cannot stand working out as I do and barely having any results! Being stronger and all that is good and fine, but being strong AND fat? Tiresome. Very, very tiresome. I'll keep you posted on how this all goes...)

That joke is sooooo old...

Not to take away from this woman's pain and suffering at all, because, believe me, I wouldn't trade places with her for the world! But if I go into a toilet, and I so much as see a glimmer of something shiny on the seat, I don't sit down on it. I wipe it off/go into another stall to use a different toilet. Call me weird if you want to, but I don't like wet things on my ass.

Wouldn't the glue give off a certain odor? Or at least make the toilet seat look like it's wet? Wouldn't there be some clue to a person that, Hey! It's not ok to sit down here to piss! I haven't been in this situation myself, so I can only guess. But it seems like some sort of sign would be there, is the thing.

I can feel a cold coming on. I was exhausted by the time the work day ended yesterday, and I promptly went home, laid down on the couch, and barely moved for the next couple of hours. (I made Asian noodles, though...I'd told the boyfriend there would be some in the fridge when he got home, so I felt bad about him coming home and possibly not finding any in there and made them up quick as I could. Fortunately, they don't take long...just a bit of time to chop some cilantro, carrots, and green onions, and then toss the noodles with some sauces to make them yummy. They were good enough when I was done...not the best I've made, but passable...) I took a shower last night so I could sleep in this morning, but even though I got 8 hours of sleep, I still feel tired and groggy today. And the swollen glands don't help much. I want to work out today, is the thing...since I didn't do it last night, I need to tonight and tomorrow morning in order to get 5 days in this week. Bleh. Just thinking about it is wearing me out, though.

I'm thinking that the office Airborn bottle is going to get hit HARD today!!

Bunches of stuff to do, and no energy to do them...I'd better get moving while I'm thinking about it all. Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The old man is snoring? What about ME?

Ok, seeing as everyone else has sufficiently covered the Project Runway episode from last night, I don’t need to say anything about it! Except that I agree with Ms. Pants! And I’m glad Keith is gone because he seemed to be an egocentric asshole that was starting to wear on my nerves! And I don’t know where all these exclamation points are coming from, but perhaps it’s a side effect of having had too little sleep last night! AUGH!

The boyfriend and I went to a Royals game last night with some friends…we used company tickets that were up for grabs, and we had a really great time. We knew rain was coming, but we were unsure of when the rain was coming. After watching some news before leaving the house for the game, I guessed that it would move in at about 8:45 or 9-ish. The storms that were moving their way across Kansas were packing 100 mile per hour winds that were pushing big rigs around like Tonka toys on I-70 earlier in the day, so I knew we were in for some fun. To be honest, I’d rather face 100 mile per hour winds while outdoors at a venue made of cement than in my rinky-dink house built out of wood and stuff back in 1952. So off to the game we went, knowing that we’d have some weather to deal with, but still looking damned forward to hot dogs, beers, and the possibility of a win.

I didn’t notice what time it happened, but I can say that we were at the top of the 8th inning with 1 out and the promise of more after a pitcher replacement. The crowd started getting a bit loud, and as we looked around, we noticed it was because the winds had moved in. It was pushing a bunch of trash and stuff out onto the field, but the players persevered and kept up the game as best they could. The left-fielder was walking against the wind to his position, and he had to lean into it pretty good to get where he needed to be, it seemed. We all started to celebrate the break in the heat by cheering louder and watching the wind pick up more and more with big smiles on our faces.

When the rain began, it brought instant cooler temperatures, and it started only as a light rain that didn’t affect us or the game much. The wind affected the game more, actually, and with it blowing so hard, it was keeping the rain from falling directly on us in any major way, so we weren’t getting too wet at all. We decided to stay in our seats, even though we were in a section of the stadium that was uncovered and open to rain, lightening and wind. (We were about 15 rows from the field between 3rd and home and behind the visiting team’s dugout. My company has really great seats, IMO…not better than a box would have been, but beggars can’t be choosers, eh?) We kept chatting, and being all happy about the lower temps, until about 5 minutes later when I heard a strange sound coming from above us. I stopped my friend mid-sentence to say, "Wait a minute…what’s that noise?" He replied, "Um, I think it’s the rain…" to which I replied with widened eyes, and a huge grin, "Holy shit! I’m running for cover!"

We all laughed and ran for cover as the really big part of the storm moved in, bringing with it absolutely torrential rains that were soaking the field and the brave players who were still on it. It took a few minutes for the boys to bring the tarp out, but they eventually covered the diamond, and we all set back to see if we could wait out the storm. We waited a while, drinking water, hanging out in the covered areas chatting and watching to see if the rain was letting up at all. I finally asked if we could go at about 10:30 since my bedtime had come and gone, and our friends understand how shitty I am when I get grumpy and tired. We ran for the car through huge puddles and falling rain, and drove home singing along with music and trying to ditch the big puddles that had gathered in the streets.

I had a really fun time, is the thing. People react to rain too often as though it’s made of toxic waste. It was fun to see a bunch of people who weren’t afraid of it at all, running about enjoying the coolness of it after so very many days of hot and hotter weather in a row. I was afraid I would find more of my tree in my front yard like it was after the storm that moved through 2 weeks ago, but it was in tact and I only lost one branch from a tree in the back yard this time. There were lots of little branches and leaves and stuff all over the streets around my house and on my way to work today, and my power had apparently gone out for a few minutes at some point during the night (which threw off my cable, which caused TiVo not to record PR as requested, which caused me to have to watch the rerun that was on at 11 p.m. after we got home from the game last night, so I’m tahred today…oh sooo tahred…), so it was a pretty significant front that moved through, obviously.

Thank GOD.

Now it’s cooler today, and life is happy again. And tonight, I’m working out at home (took the morning off today), and then tomorrow, I’m working out at home (because I’m sleeping in tomorrow again, dammit), and I will remain fat because my body hates me and I am doomed to be a big Fat McFatterson forever and ever and it sucks big donkey balls. But that’s ok! Because I work out! And here are the exclamation points again! So I’d better go…

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The One With Faith's Shoes

I have one quote going through my head as I wander about the office in these shoes I have on my feet today, and it is this:

"The man who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!" - Monica from Friends episode "The One With Monica's Boots" from Season 8.

It's my own fault. I was tired of wearing the same two pairs of shoes that are comfy and yet still stylish, as I'm afraid they will soon quit me by completely breaking since I wear them pretty much constantly. I hate any other pair of shoes, though. I can't find a proper pair to replace the favorites! I've tried...honest, I have! But it's impossible, and so I will have to wear them until they do die, which will be a sad, sad day indeed.

My. Feet. Hurt.

I want a beer, dammit.

My Idiot List So Far...

People are pissing me off left and right this morning. Just doing little, dumb things that pick away at my outer ability to pretend I’m happy with all the idiots of the world at once, and make it much for dangerous for the idiots that remain for the rest of the day.

And it’s only 8:20 a.m. I have a feeling that it’s gon’ be a looooonnnng day.

Idiot #1: Woman that changed the channel at the gym from ESPN to fucking VH1 so she could watch videos while she ran for 15 minutes. I was watching both ESPN and the news on ABC, but I was forced to just watch the news after she changed the channel. I gave her a dirty look as she climbed onto the treadmill next to me, but she seemed to have cared less. Fucking idiot. Her breath smelled, too. That’s two days in a row with nasty smelling people getting on treadmills right next to mine. Did I offend the workout gods in some manner to deserve punishment like this? (I changed the channel when I first got there on a t.v. that was stuck on a Gunthy Renker infomercial. When I was done making the change, a woman on the treadmills thanked me. That’s the difference between an idiot and someone using common sense.)

Idiot #2: The guy who ruined the War of the Roses bit on 96.5 the Buzz this morning. He was a dick, and he didn’t play it up nearly as fun as some guys have that are aware of what’s up when the radio station calls them. He sounded all cocky, and right away it was obvious that he knew what was going on, and he told Efentra that they needed to give up the bit as it was getting old, and he was just not any fun at all. I think his name was Ed or Al or something…so Ed or Al, if you’re reading this? You’re a twat for not being any fun. Idiot.

Idiot #3: My lawn guy is not being smart about his mowing right now. First of all, he’s on shaky ground as it is after he ignored a job I paid him to do back in April for a total of 3 months…I had two tree-like bush things on the south side of my house that I wanted to have torn out. He said he could do it for $50, so he came and cut them down one day in April, but he didn’t finish the job. He didn’t have anything with him to remove the stumps, so he said he would return the next day with a shovel. Yeah, 3 MONTHS LATER, after two letters from me and countless phone calls, he finally removed the stumps (which were starting to grow tree-bush things on them again) in July. (And then he had the balls to call me the Saturday after he removed the stumps…seemingly just to chat about the job and make sure I had noticed he’d gotten it done and all. But I could tell after a couple of seconds what was really going on. "Yeah, it was real hot that day, too. And it took me over an hour to remove just that one stump at the front corner of the house. It was a tough one!" he said. I replied, "That’s terrible! Man, you really should have removed them back in April when I first asked you to, and then it wouldn’t have been so hot, at least. Hey, I’ll pop your check for June in the mail today. Have a great weekend!" and I hung up. I think the dude was going to ask me for more money for that job, if you can believe it! I was already basically withholding his June payment until he took the stumps out anyway, which I think he kinda figured out when it didn’t come on the 16th or 17th of the month. Jackass…) At this point, I had been asking him for almost 2 months to please mow my lawn on a weekly basis instead of every two weeks. We were getting a lot of rain back in May, June, and even part of July, and the lawn was constantly overgrown and nasty looking when he let it grow for two weeks between mows. He always had excuses for not getting to it…his team was either backed up because of the time lost due to rainy days, or there was a holiday that happened, or the stars weren’t aligned properly that week, or some such shit, and it became a pain in my ass. By mid-July, we seemed to be on track, though. And then the rain stopped. So I water with a sprinkler as best I can, but my grass still looks like it’s burned up in some places and just barely making it in others, and so last week I was going to call him to make sure he didn’t come to mow. But when I went home on Wednesday at noon, he’d already come of course. And mowed a lawn that clearly didn’t need to be mowed. This week, I’ve only had the chance to water once, so the lawn doesn’t need to be mowed again. I decided to catch him as early as I can, and called him while on my way to work today. I asked him to please not mow until next week and hopefully we’ll get some rain like they’re saying we’re going to get, or at least I’ll have more of a chance to water this week, or what have you. He said no problem. And then he asked me if I’d sent him his payment for July yet. I told him it’s my plan to get it out today, as I just got paid and the boyfriend just gave me his household contribution last night, so it should be in the mail soon.

Dude! It’s only the 2nd! I think I had him scared last month after I waited so long to pay him for June. But you know what? That was his own damned fault. Plus, the guy doesn’t even give me invoices, or anything. So I have to make sure to note the days he mows, and then send him checks according to my own calculations. Hm. Might be fun to fuck with that actually. Just to send him the wrong payment, and have him call me all "WTF?" and be able to say, "Hey man, give me invoices for your work provided, and I’ll be able to pay you properly, right?" But this season is almost over. And next season, I’ll be finding a new lawn guy, is the plan. Because this guy is an asshat. I’m tired of his shit.

Idiot #4: So yesterday, I worked on a new postcard to mail out regarding a property we’re managing in the northland. I pulled it together with the help of one of the brokers in charge of the property, and it looked pretty damned good when we were done with it. We both liked it a lot, anyway, but he needed to run it by the other broker, who is sort of his boss (not mine…his.) before we could place the order for the postcard printing. Today, I come in to find the postcard printed out, scrawled all over with changes that this guy wants made which aren’t even possible to make. He wants the text to be larger when it’s as large as it can be at this point! He wants me to add shit and move things around, and it just was so fine the way it was, guys. He’s such a fucktard. He’s just changing things to be a pain, which is how he works. I think he thinks I’m an idiot, probably because I’m fat and not attractive to him and so he can’t sleep with me to make me his little pet. (Not that I would sleep with him if he did find me attractive...bleh! He's so slimy...) He wanted my coworker to hire a different admin when she was looking for a new one last year, and I’m pretty sure that girl was pretty and thin and just his type, and he’s still pissed at us both for going against his wishes. Oh well. He’ll learn eventually, I guess. And if not, oh well! Less work for me. :)

So now I’m kinda in a rotten mood. I blame the idiots, but we’ll see if I can’t improve my attitude through proper hard work and the like over the next few hours. Maybe some blog reading will cheer me a bit. I’m gonna go see. Hopefully, everyone is being witty and entertaining today…do NOT piss me off further, muthafuckers! (Love you!!)