Thursday, September 28, 2006

Walk it off...walk it off, baby.

Our dog has been FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT for the past 24 hours. Actually, I don't really know what she's been doing for the past, oh, 7 - 8 hours now, but if it's anything like the previous 12, then she's probably still flipping the fuck out. I live for assumptions. And I'm glad I can make this one far from home in the safety of my quiet little desk space.

Last night, the fiance crashed. Hard. He was asleep by 10:15, and for some reason, even though I wasn't quite ready for bed, he shut off all the lights, left me with the dog, and managed to at least pull off his pants before climbing into bed and burying himself in pillows and blankets. I think this confused Izzy. She's usually left with the fiance when I crash hard into the bed, with the door closed, leaving them to hang out on the couch watching t.v. until whatever hour they so choose. So when I popped her in her crate and said goodnight, she was having none of it. None of it, I say!! She started scratching at the door to the crate as though she needed to get out NOW because there was a fire in her ass! But there was no fire. Her ass was fine. I told her to quit it, and tried to just ignore her for a few minutes. But she kept it up, and I kept telling her to quit it, and then I finally went to let her out to go pee, because I couldn't imagine what else would cause her to go so fucking ballistic all of a sudden. But as soon as I let her out, she was fine, jumping up on me, making no move for the back yard at all. So I put her back in her crate, popped in my earplugs, and went to fucking sleep. Obnoxious little twit.

See, I was gonna wake up early this morning to get to the gym for a nice, hard workout. I haven't been going so much in the morning lately, and I really needed to get in there today. So I wanted to be in bed no later than 10:30 last night, and her little conniption fits were keeping me from being able to do that. As she was fine, didn't need to pee, had no fire in the ass, and wasn't thirsty or what have you, ignoring her was the only way to go. I washed her bed-things last night, so it was likely that she was irritated with the "newness" of the fresh-smelling towel I put in her crate, and she just needed to get over that, IMO.

So when I woke up this morning and started pulling myself together to go to the gym as planned, and then I heard her starting right back up again with her freakishly manic scratching at the crate door? Oh, I had had it! I decided she needed some air. So we went for a walk...a 2 mile walk, which is twice as long as the longest walk we've taken thus far, and she hasn't been walked since last Wednesday, I think, so I figured it would take the conniption right out of her ass.

I was wrong. But oh well! It was worth a try.

So our dog has started taking puppy speed, is all I can figure. She's being very sly about it, probably getting it from a rogue squirrel out in the walnut tree. (Come to think of it, she has been hanging out under that tree...kind of loitering, if you will...a lot more than usual lately. Hmmm...) Fucking squirrels and their puppy speed...

I can't wait to go home tonight and kick her ass with yet ANOTHER long walk! HA! She probably thinks she has it easy tonight, but oooohhhh no. She's fucked. Here we go now!

This is how I "punish" our dog for weird-ass behavior. Walks. How evil am I?

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