Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I feel so strange...

I know it's normal to let a day or two pass in between some posts, but I always feel weird when I let a day during the week go by without me posting something. I figured everyone would understand, though. Plus, I left up such a pretty, pretty picture for everyone to look at if they stopped by, so I thought that might make up for it. :P

So, this insurance thing. I don't know how to put it...basically, being in charge of finding my own medical insurance has been such an utter, complete pile of joy that it's difficult to discuss it without crying a bit. After Humana so lovingly denied me coverage back in March or April or whenever because I'm fat, I started looking at other options, and fell back on my current insurance company that I use for my home and my car for help. I worked with a new guy in the office. He's nice. I think he understands how tough it can be for a girl who's a whole 6 pounds overweight to try to obtain affordable insurance, as he's kinda chubby himself. (Of course, being a man and all, he carries it better, and looks more "healthy" than "fat" I'd say...) We filled out all the proper paperwork, I signed the docs, and we sent everything to underwriting for review.

2 months later (end of August), they decide they'll go ahead and give me the high deductible insurance I need/want. Great. Sounds good. I get the package in the mail telling me about my exclusions and all that good stuff and find that they have not only "rated up" based upon my height and weight (I pay a 20% higher premium because I don't weigh 180. Happily, I'm down 4 pounds from what I weighed - 190 - when we sent in the paperwork back in June, and plan on being even lighter within a year, so I'm hoping that will help eventually...), but they also have provided a waiver for any coverage on treatment for abnormal pap smear, any disease or disorder of the uterine cervix, to include (but not limited to!) malignancy, infection or any complications. So basically, if I get cancer of any kind in my cervix or uterus, I'm fucked. GREAT! So glad someone called to discuss this with me, as I might have chosen not to get any kind of insurance coverage at all had I known about this, right? Jeezus...

Fine. Whatever. I'm still covered if I get hit by a bus. As long as the bus doesn't give me cancer in my girlie parts when it hits me, that is...

I was warned ahead of time by the chubby new guy at the insurance office that I would be required to pay 3 months of premium up front once the plan was set in place by the company. So shortly after I received my plan info in the mail, I received my bill, which I had saved up to pay, and all was well.

Until 2 whole weeks later, when I received another bill for 3 months worth of premiums. Huh? I called my insurance office and spoke to the chubby new guy about it. Yeah, he wasn't aware of this either, but basically, they started the plan on the date that I signed the paperwork in the office. So before it was underwritten - before I was even aware that I had insurance - I had insurance, it seems. So that last 3 month payment I sent in? Yeah, it covered July, August, and September, and I now owe for October, November, and December.

Here's the problem though...I'm not made of money. So pulling another $587 out my ASS to send to them isn't quite possible at this time. PLUS, I told the chubby new guy when I was in there signing all the documents that I needed to pay for the insurance on a monthly basis after this initial 3 month premium payment was made. He called the insurance company that covers me, then he called me back and told me that they agreed to just charge me for 2 months instead right now, and then I can pay for December at the end of November as usual. After that, it'll be monthly. Well...THANKS. I only have to pay $390 instead of $587 now? That is great news.

When I was talking to my dad this last week about how I really needed to get that deposit back from him that the fiance and I made on the church out of our own pocket, I explained some of this insurance shit that's going on. "That sounds like fraud to me," he said. "They can't charge you for something you didn't even know you had or that you could use. That's not right." I thought about it a bit more, and called back to talk to the insurance office again last Friday. This time, I spoke to my original insurance guy, and he agreed that paying for 2 months of coverage that I wasn't even aware I had wasn't right. He said he'd check it out and call me back on Monday.

So Monday, I hear back from chubby new guy. The insurance company they got my insurance through has agreed (ever so politely, I'm sure...) to change my initial insurance start date to August 29 instead of June 29, since that's when they sent me the agreement and the paperwork explaining my plan, and basically is the NORMAL thing to do, dammit. Since I paid them in September for the 3 months, I don't owe them another dime right now, which is just how I needed it to be.

The only other problem? My gyno isn't on their list of included providers, but since my deductible is $2,100, that doesn't really matter much. I don't go to the gyno often enough in a year to cover that deductible, and since they won't cover me if I have to deal with cancer/complications of cancer of my girlie parts either, then it doesn't really matter who my gyno is in that case, really. It doesn't change the coverage much if I see an outside provider anyway. I'll be fine, I'm sure. (As long as that whole bus-giving-me-girlie-parts-cancer scenario doesn't occur, that is...)

So that is the whole long fun story about me and my insurance. I'm kinda glad I've had this experience, really. For much of the rest of my working life, I will be required to have my own insurance anyway, so it's good that I know what to do in the future. First of all, I need to be skinny. Second of all, I need to never, ever have any abnormal shit pop up on a test which is checking the health of a body part over which I have no control and cannot help the health of in any way. Thirdly, I need to live in one of the most populated counties in the state, and go to the most obscure doctors ever in order to have them be participating providers. (Hey, if I need to see an oncologist, I'm good to go. As long as he/she isn't helping me with a bus hit-induced cancer of the girlie parts issue, that is...I also have an anesthesiologist on my list. AND a hemotology doctor. I'm SET, man!)

Insurance is fun. And now my head doesn't hurt at all after relaying all this stuff in this post! I get to go work at this point, which is going to be so enjoyable, I can't even stand it. Don't you wish you were me? I thought so...jealous little bastards!


lyn said...

wow. what a mess. wonder if the boyfriend's insurance is better and when you are married you can just use his.....

FaithsTwin said...

Chaos. Glad Dad had good advice for ya and you took it and did something with it. He's good for that, ya know.

Xavier Onassis said...

I started to make a comment here about insurance companies, but it turned into such a rant I posted it on my blog instead.

But in my rant I linked to your blog from my blog.

Then I came back and commented on your blog and referenced my blog.

OMG. I'm caught in a blogloop and I can't get out. Call 911.


Anonymous said...

$195.66 per month for health insurance?!?!?!? AND a $2100 deductible?

One word:

Get the fuck out of that place.

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