Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Commercials

Verizon? Yeah, we get it. You have a network. Congratufuckinglations. I think you've driven the point into the ground now, though, so if you could stop making the stupid commercials ("Can I get a bag for them?" Um, DUMB!!), and maybe even find a new "mascot" besides the dorky guy in the plain gray windbreaker and glasses, I'm pretty sure all of America would thank your asses.

Local radio stations in the Kansas City area who have successfully managed to replace all the annoying political commercials we had been dealing with until a couple of weeks ago with your super-informative (and musical!) commercials about how you're already playing all Christmas tunes all the time!!? Fuck off. I constantly have that dumb-ass Paul McCartney "...siiiimply haaaving a wonderful Christmastime!" going around and around in my brain. AND I DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO YOUR STATION ANYWAY!!! 100% Christmas music 'round the clock? IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET, ASSHOLES! GAH! (And for the record, the only Christmas music I enjoy now that I'm a grown-up is the Charlie Brown Christmas cd. I can listen to that over and over again. Well, at least twice in a row. I tire easily of things these days...)

Radio Shack? Your commercials make me never want to shop in ANY of your stores EVER AGAIN!! Not that I shopped there much anyway, you overpriced retards. Heard of Best Buy? Yeah, you might have a problem there, I'd imagine.

Ford, Chevy, and Mercury? Not that I was planning on buying an American car my next time around, but you guys have pretty well driven off my business completely with your oversaturation campaigns. That guy singing about getting up early and being on time? He's annoying. The whole Morningwood selling out not even 6 months after they initially became popular? That's just sad. (And the model you have in your commercials dresses like shit, Mercury. Poor thing. She looks like she could be a really cute girl, too, but that vest-thing in the one commercial? Christ! Blech!!) And I hate the gravely sound to the voice of the guy singing about how "...this is our country," Chevy. As if we weren't already aware of that fact. How long does it take to make a commerical that lasts a minute and a half, anyway? 4 months? 6 months? Good job wasting a phenomenal amount of money on something that probably just annoys more than half of "our country" anyway.

That is all. (For now...mwahahahahahahaha....)

2 comments:

Ms. Pants said...

I think our Chevy commercials are "This is our Texas." All our advertising is Texas-centric.

martinoffroad said...

Too funny Faith about the car commercials, I feel the same way, I think if they concentrate on focusing on the reliability of American cars they might be able to compete with the import auto makers instead of coming up with that good ol' boy songs...FYI: that gravely voiced guy is John Cougar Mellencamp.