Thursday, May 31, 2007

Now it's stuck in my head, dammit...

I’m wearing evil shoes today. They weren’t evil yesterday, but they are now. I had sufficiently broken them in after their initial two-day evil phase they put me through when I first bought them, but then I had to go and get a hair up my ass about trying out some of those gel insole thingies that have been advertised on t.v. (You know the ones I’m talking about…I will not degrade myself by placing any part of the annoying commercial banter here in the content of this post, except to say the word “gel” which is only a part of the obnoxious word used throughout those commercials, which is also the basis for some very bad rhymes that I don’t even want to get into here, dammit…)

So I put some of the full insoles into another pair of favorite shoes, and sure enough, they made them even better. Nice. But then I put some that just fit into the front part of the shoes under the ball of my foot into the pair I’m wearing today. And while the balls of my feet do feel dreamy, the baby toes that are being crammed upwards into the sandal strap thingies that hold the shoes onto my feet do not feel anything less than tortured.

I wish I’d bought more pairs of the full insoles. But I wanted to try out the two different things to see how I liked each one. I learned my lesson. This pair of shoes is ruined (the insoles are supah-sticky, and I HATE sticky things, so I will simply throw the shoes out now…), and I plan on finding a new pair to replace them, which I will purchase the full-sized insoles for, because honestly? Love them! They feel goooood. I’d recommend them. (Even if the commercials for them are stoopid as fuck.)

Other than the feet being in pain today, not much else is going on. I seem to be almost fully recovered from the mystery illness that overtook me on Tuesday, making me feel as though I was having a stroke and scaring the crap outta me since I don’t have a single personal day off to spare this year, and unplanned, mystery illnesses will simply NOT be tolerated in any way at this point in time. Basically, my muscles felt all weak and uncooperative, and even my mouth wasn’t working properly when I tried to sing along with the music in the car. As of today, the mouth is still being weird. But the rest of me feels ok, and that’s what’s important. I can still sing, but it just seems like my mouth wants to form different shapes than the ones I need it to in order to sing along properly. I know it sounds very strange to those of you non-singers out there, but this has never happened to me before, and I’ve been a singer for a looo-hoooong ass time. Most of my practicing being performed in the car itself. When the mouth starts getting wonky like this, it’s a bit disconcerting, is all.

So my mystery illness kept the fiancé and me from being able to attend an “employee appreciation” event that his work was having on Tuesday night, which was very disappointing to me personally. There’s nothing I like more than hanging out with my friends from his work and watching them all get drunk in their “street clothes,” and the mystery illness prevented me from doing that, dammit! We owe one of them a threesome now due to our absence (long story…I’ll let your imagination take you away on that one), and his boss was bugging him about not being there, and he had to explain to her how people in relationships sometimes wanna take care of each other when one of them gets sick, and then he had a shitty, shitty day after that and had to work a double, and I am so, SOOO glad that he only has three more days there after today because, dammit, that place is FUCKED UP. (Here’s how cool the management is there: the employee appreciation event was a trip to the Royals game that night. They were serving food and sodas before the game, and then they bought all the employees tickets to the game that were in the upper section of the stadium…you know, the seats that are almost vertical, they’re up so high and they’re stacked so steep? Yeah, they’re fun and all, but here’s the kicker: the management had seats in the bottom section of the stadium. You know, the one that’s next to the field, and is a normal level of steepness that doesn’t make you feel like you’re about to fall off the face of the planet if you lean to far forward? Uh-huh! THAT one! So the fiancé and I originally had tickets in that section, since he’s technically on the management side of things at the restaurant (I also refer to it as a “slave” position, since they get to work him all hours of the week for barely any pay, and then they try to make him feel GUILTY when he quits after working 65 – 70 hour weeks with shitty, shitty crews he has to manage 2 nights of the week for the past 2 years at least!), but when he told me about that I asked him if we could sit in the section where our friends were at, since they’re the people I LIKE from his work, and everything. Fuckin’ ‘ell. See what I mean? Fucked up, man…)

And then this morning, my personal trainer that I’ve been working with since last July at my gym told me that the company is moving him to a new gym they’re opening up in OLATHE, of all places, and it’s effective as of tomorrow. Gee, thanks for the warning on FUCKING UP MY LIFE ROYALLY, 24 Hour Fitness! You guys ROCK.

So I’m going to head down to this new gym in Olathe on Saturday to see how the drive is, and see if it’s going to be worth it to go there twice a week to meet with him, or if I should switch to another trainer at another gym for now. The main problem with this new gym is that it’s not finished yet. They don’t have the showers or full locker rooms that the other gyms I go to have, and so I can’t go there to meet my trainer at 6 in the morning, and then shower and head on to work from there. Not until at least the middle of July, apparently. So if I want to keep seeing my trainer, we’ll need to work out a new schedule which would involve me working out earlier and him getting there much earlier than he normally would, just so I could then go back home and shower before heading to work. Fucked UP! Everything is fucked up lately, dammit! Grrr!!

Why do they even NEED a gym in Olathe? All that open space…just run around and get some exercise that way, dammit! I told my trainer, “Olathe is for bars, not gyms!” He agreed, but there’s not much he can do about it. (Plus, he usually just agrees with me in order to shut me up, I think. That’s why we get along so well…) I think this new gym is closer to his house, so he’s probably partially fine with the change. The only problem being that he’s losing about half of his clientele with the switch, so he’s having to work overtime at his other jobs in order to keep making ends meet. (He coaches sports at some high school during the school year, and right now he makes extra money umpiring for baseball leagues that are playing throughout the metro, apparently.) Regardless, it’s a shitty deal for me all around, and I’m not happy about it. NOT HAPPY AT ALL. I don’t give a flying fuck that this new gym will have all new equipment and plasma t.v.’s for me to look at, and a lovely new locker room, and possibly a better AC system in the sink area where I get ready for work…

Ok, I give a little bit of a flying fuck. But we’ll have to see once it’s all done, I guess.

Who of you out there was wishing I’d have a new post up at some point today? Do you take it back now? I bet you dooooo…

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I don't like taking baths anyway...

Ok, sooooo many questions about this, I had to ask what everyone else thinks. Please advise on your opinion of this "situation" in the comments, and help my head stop hurting over the lunacy.

Here are my questions:

1. Why the FUCK does anyone in their right mind have a $1 million bathtub? (One that apparently can hold only 4 foot tall people, no less...)
2. If the tub is only available a few hours per day "for security reasons" then who the hell fell asleep on the job? I assume the idea is that they have someone watching over the room the tub is in since...
3. THEY HAVE NO SECURITY CAMERAS TO MONITOR THE OUTSIDE OF THE ROOM THE TUB IS IN? (That right there just makes me think they brought this upon themselves, really...)
4. No one saw someone absconding from the hotel with a super-shiny, golden bathtub? Really? Not a single person? Alright then...
5. The tub was not riveted to the floor? I'm imagining that had it been, that might have been more of a deterent to the thief/thieves. (But then again, if they had the time to remove the rivets and then carry the tub outta the room that had no security focussed on it whatsoever, then I suppose the deterent level of rivets might be lower than I think them to be.)
6. Why the hell do they have a "shared" bathroom in a luxury hotel? more reason not to visit Tokyo ever.

I might have more questions as the morning wears on, but that's about it for now. Tell me what you think. Please.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ugly Tuesday

This day is a mish mosh of crap so far. My body isn't working properly, so I felt like throwing in the towl at the gym after just 5 minutes of cardio (which is bullshit, and I went for the normal 30 before I trained with my trainer for a half hour after that...yeah, take THAT big fat belly o' mine! Who's yo mamma? WHO'S yo fucking mama, beyotch! That's right...), and then on the way in to work, my mouth wouldn't work as I tried to sing along with my music in the car. That sort of freaked me out, to be quite honest...why won't my mouth work? It seems better now that I've had some breakfast, but still...strange, no?

My body still doesn't seem willing to do what I want it to do, though. My trainer said it's like my body hasn't caught up with my mind today. I feel perfectly rested and awake, but my body isn't performing at the expected level, for some odd reason. I'm really hoping it'll be back to normal by tomorrow, if not sooner.

So today is a body conscious post. I took some pics of myself last week as an update to the pics I'd taken at different times last year to compare and contrast against at a later date. I figure now is as good a time as any to check those out, so here we go...

Some of you might think I'm an idiot for posting pictures like this of myself, and some might be glad I am. Some might not give a shit either way. Basically, I'm doing this to keep a record for myself, and you just get to join in the fun since I'm a blogger and everything.

Ok, the picture on the top is from February of 2006. That was when I decided I needed to get serious about my weight issue, and stop letting myself just get fatter and fatter with no regard at all for how it was going to eventually effect my health or my pocketbook. (Buying new clothes every couple of months in order to accomodate the ever-expanding waistline is stupid.) And the picture on the bottom is from last week. You can't see how much more toned my arm is, thanks to the quality of the photo from 2/2006, but you can definitely see the change in the belly and the ass. I hope you can anyway. Don't ask me how I managed to center myself so perfectly against that door to the bedroom in the background for the photo. I'm just magical like that, I s'pose.

Again, the photo on the top is from 2/2006. Sorry for the dark quality. Not sure what was up there, but what're ya gonna do, right? It's harder to see any major difference in these front-shots, but it's there. Obviously, the flatter tummy is one thing. Also, my shoulders are more built and less slumped. My hips haven't changed a whole lot, which accounts for the lack of size change in my clothing. But my boobs have definitely lost some of their volume. I can fit into tops that I couldn't fit into even 3 months ago, so that must mean that they're behaving a bit and are losing size along with the rest of me.

It's a slow-going process. Quicker over the last month since I need to lose a specific amount of weight (and some inches) in order to fit into the wedding dress, but still...the difference is there.

And now I must go and contend with the headache that has added itself to my day of miserable body issues. Hell, at least I'm shitting normally again. I gained 3 pounds since yesterday due to my lack of normal shitting over the weekend. Frustrating! But that's ok...I think I've already lost those pounds again this morning thanks to the maaaarvelous poo I took earlier this morning. A regular Faith is a happy Faith.

Friday, May 25, 2007

There's that then.

The boss has just left for the weekend, I finally am caught up on all the postponings of meetings, rescheduling of meetings, cancellation of meetings, and that sort of thing. So I've come to chat with you guys.

How you doin'? Having a good day? That's nice. Big plans for the weekend? Me too! I'm breakin' out the new vacuum...that's right! Be jealous. I would be if I were you, dammit.

I actually have a fun facial appointment tomorrow morning, so that'll be nice. Before that, the fiance and I will hit the gym, which is always an interesting adventure. This is the first time for him to visit/work out at the gym closer to our house, and the machines are different there...I can't wait to see how his lovely little legs react to the smoothness of the newer eliptical machine! Woo!

Can you tell that I've had too much caffeine in too short a period of time today? No? Try reading all that up there without any spaces between the words and without taking a breath at all. NOW you're getting the picture of what it's like inside my head. FUN!

Have a great weekend, everyone. Stay safe, stay dry, and stay special, m-kay? Alrighty. Buh-bye.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

How many times can you say the "F" word before it's considered smut?

Sometimes, I wonder whether I could write a book. Long ago, after the dead boyfriend died, and before my mother succumbed to cancer, I was in the mood to write, and so write I did. I started several little things, just trying to get the feelings out of me and into something else. Trying to say what it was that I needed to say, not to anyone in specific really…just to anything that would listen. Usually just the trusty Word program at work, and later at home on the computer I bought specifically so I could write whenever I wanted.

This was in the days before Blogger, and well before I had ever known that such a world within the internets even existed. Now that I’ve successfully written several posts per week for the last 3 years, I’m wondering if it might be time to attempt a shot at the paper publishing world. It might take me some time, yes. But I’ve always wanted to, and now it finally seems possible.

So here’s the plan: yes, I know that all of my stuff that I’ve already written is available to anyone who wants to read it, for free, right here in the WWW. So I’m planning on using it to my advantage as a sort of jumping-off point to write a book. Just to see if I even can. And if no one ever checks it out, or has any interest in it outside of myself as an extended journal type of thing, so be it.

3 years. 3 YEARS of material. 3 years of information. 3 years of heartbreak and stupid boys and horrible professional experiences and death and life and new love that doesn’t dare let go (and which I don’t dare let go of right back!) and happiness and experiences and friends and family and drama and never giving up on this space or this medium for my sometimes silly meandering thoughts…

It’s amounting to something. At least, it’s amounting to something for me. And that’s all that really matters, I guess.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you for coming and reading and giving me feedback sometimes, and laughing with me, and advising me, and loving me the way I am. I love you all right back.

(Except for the dirty birds that link through looking for "sex 'half monsters'" guys just gross me out.)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Thank you for your patience...

Tomorrow is my blogaversary. (Blogiversary? Blogversry? What’s the need for all the vowels, I say…) I started this here little online journaling thingy-dingy 3 years ago to the day as of midnight tonight. And oh my God, I can’t believe this…I’m tearing up over the though of it. Holy Christ, I am a retard…

Since I launched my site metering a little while ago (June of ’06, apparently), I have had over 20,000 visits, and over 42,500 page views on the blog. I don’t know whether to be impressed by those numbers or not - especially considering all the people that were clicking through due to some unfortunate link I had inserted in a post last year to a photo of a female body-builder – but still, it’s nice to know that for those of you who were genuinely happy with finding my blog (I’m sorry for those of you who thought you were going to be treated to many more images of muscular women and stories about protein shakes and their glorious virtues), you seemed to be interested in the content. At least I hope you were. Hell, on the average, you spend over 3 minutes reading once you get here, so I hope it’s because you actually are interested in the content, and not because you clicked over right before you had a blindingly bad urge to drop several kids off, and just left me up while you were pinching them off. I can’t imagine that the numbers have always been that high, and I often wonder just why and how people start reading this on a regular basis (you there in Tobaccoville, NC…who the heck are ya, and why have you been visiting me so much lately? Welcome, by the way…:D), and while it’s easy to see that the person who visited today from Korea (the city of Hogye in the state of Ulsan-gwangyoksi, to be exact) was interested in reading about the camel toe issue, and that the person from Bosnia that dropped by yesterday was interested in reading more about lobster-claw syndrome (yeah, sorry you found this long and rambly post instead!), I’d love to know more about who it is that drops by from Gloucester, Glouchestershire now and then. And who lives in Dublin, CA? Do I know you? Are we related? Probly not, but it’s always made me wonder. And you in Hamburg, Germany looking for something called “sex ‘half monster’” can just go ‘way now. WTF?

Anyway, drop on by tomorrow for a special story about my blogversry and how I feel about it. It’ll be neat.

Today, however, is not my blogversry. It’s just a normal, run-of-the-mill Wednesday in the life of Faith. And so you get THIS story instead…

The fiancé is recovering well from the tooth experience. Unfortunately, he didn't do anything that the dental assistant warned he might, and so I couldn't record his after-surgery antics on my trusty video-cam, as was suggested by my coworker as I left the office yesterday morning. (WHAT? You woulda done the same if you were in my shoes, and you know it…) Apparently, loss of general motor function is normal after the type of sedation drugs he was fed during the surgery, and I was looking forward to some issues with him perhaps missing the couch when he went to sit down on it, or maybe thinking he was grabbing a glass of water off the table, but missing it entirely and thinking he still had it in his hand and then trying to drink from it. But no. He was just moving a bit slower than usual, was all. Bo-riiinnng!

He seemed almost perfectly normal this morning, which was good to see. I’m gonna call him in a bit here to make sure his day at work is going ok. He’s supposed to work a double, but he said he was going to try to get out of it. I hope he’s successful at that!

Thanks for the good feelings and well-wishes you all sent yesterday while he was in surgery and then recovering. Seems to have done the trick!

Life is relatively slow outside of my busy Tuesdays off that I’ve been having lately. Work, sleep, working out, reading blogs, killing unsuspecting passers-by, watching t.v…my life is a full and normal one, fo sho!

And that is that, as they say. Have a lovely evening, all…

Split Pea's what's for breakfast.

Exhausted. Even after about 7 and a half hours of sleep.

Lots to catch up on here at work.

More later. (When the boss is in a meeting for the afternoon. :)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ever listen to your own hold music?

I'm on hold waiting for help from a help line (duh), and the music is this bad porno-type music that they have playing. It's terrible!

Ooh! I didn't have to wait long to get a right back.

Ok, I'm done. Sheesh, last night, I waited 20 minutes to get someone on the phone to help me (which they couldn't, which is why I called back today), and this morning was soooo much better than that!

So the fiance is in getting his teeth worked on today. Having one pulled, another one filled, a section "scaled" which sounds like a lovely process, and possibly even more stuff than that, if they can get it all done in the time he's there today. He's drugged and will be drugged for the rest of the day, so I'm out today. Just stopped by work while he's getting worked on in order to pull together some stuff for a meeting my team will be having (without me) later, and to activate my boss's new Treo device (hence the hold time earlier), and now I'm done.

Think good thoughts about the fiance's mouth, please! He really is too nice a guy to have to deal with shit like this...

I'll be back tomorrow. Happy Toowesday all...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Soooo in the mood to go.

I'm a bit bored. I'm trying to help my boss with something, but need a password in order to take the next step, and he's on another call so I can't get the password right now, so I'm left with a frustrating little block in time at this point. I have other stuff I need to do, but I want to get his stuff done first, since he's my boss and all. Oh well...

I'm really in the mood to go home right now, is the thing. I hate it when this happens.

Don't toot your horn. It's so obnoxious, really.

We have a local legal company in town that advertises on television on a regular basis, and admittedly, this is my most unfavorite type of legal firm. Glorified ambulance chasers who like to toot their own horn. Bleh.

Anyway, they’ve always bugged me a bit more than the other legal companies that advertise on t.v. for two simple reasons. (a) They advertise during normal television shows like the news in the morning, or during favorite cable shows in the evening. And (b), they say they have won “over a third of a billion dollars for [their] clients. Not millionbillion.”

To which I say so fucking what? A third of a billion dollars is just over 300 million. According to their latest commercial, they settled a case against an insurance company for one of their clients to the tune of $400,000. If that’s an average high level claim on a case for them, then they’ve had about 750 cases that they’ve won settlements for their clients in. Apparently, they’ve been in business for over 25 years, and I’m sure they’ve had cases that they’ve won smaller settlements in, but I’m just running off this latest commercial, of course. 750 cases in 25 years averages to about 30 cases per year. And they have over 70 legal professionals (according to their website) currently working for them.

Numbers don’t sound so great when you break it down like that.

Basically, they tick me off because they advertise in the first place. In my opinion, only the tackiest legal professionals advertise on television. I personally trust word-of-mouth professionals in that arena. If I ever needed a lawyer, I’d ask my friends for recommendations. I certainly wouldn’t turn to a fucking law firm that advertises on television, trying to make themselves sound all hoity-toity and shit.

I mean, go ahead…treat me like an idiot, and reiterate the obvious point in your speech by saying, “Not millionbillion.” Because let me tell you something: if you were a law firm advertising on television that you had won over a third of a million dollars in your settlements over the years, I’d tell you to maybe check back with the public in a little while. Because a third of a million dollars is only $333,333. So yeah. DUH.

Irritating, dammit.

Friday, May 18, 2007

How creepy is THAT?

I just paid for the housepainting job that was completed on my house this week with check number 1061.

The total for the paint job came to $1,061.00.

How fucking creepy is THAT? Is it a sign of something? Sheeit...

Recovering slowly...

Ugh. Ok, too many mushrooms yesterday, along with the brussel sprouts, and my stomach was a very confused place last night. It didn't want dinner, so I just fed it some pretzels and some wine, and we were good to go for the evening, apparently. Very weird.

It's still seeming a bit wishy-washy today, too, so I'm trying not to piss it off again. I'm hungry, since I ate minimally for breakfast, but I don't know what to give it for lunch! Soup seems a good idea. We'll see.

I feel so bad about the upcoming wedding shower that'll be happening here in KC in June. We've had two different people call us asking if they can stay at our place when they come, and I feel terrible that we don't exactly have a house that's appropriate for stay-over guests. Especially since we got rid of the sectional couch, we now have one couch that's buried under a pile of shit in the fiance's closet room (which also doubles as an office, of course), and then the main couch in the living room. We don't have a guest room right now. We hope to in the future! But the house isn't big enough for that at this point.

After the yard sale, we might have more space for things, but we won't be having that until the week after fiance finishes his job at the Moose. So in the mean time, I stress about the mess the place is in, wish we could get our new table already, and again feel terrible about having to turn out of town guests away.

Plus, one bathroom for more than 2 people for a whole weekend? Gah. That's not my idea of being a good hostess. Nuh-uh.

Anyway, I'm prepping for a wedding of a couple of friends, as well as being able to see some old friends (and my OWN wedding party!) this weekend, and just getting some rest in the down time. My body is tahred. Should be a beautiful weekend for just lolling about and hanging with friends, from what I've heard. Hope everyone else is able to enjoy it too! Latah!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

My body just told me...

"Silly girl, I cannot possibly process that many mushrooms all at once. Duh!"

Gah. It's only 4:25. I need my toilet bowl, dammit...

Just the pretty part

I feel like I look cute today. It's a nice feeling. (My hair does not get added to this equation, because it is a mess. But that's ok, because the rest of me looks fiiiinnnne...)

A few weeks back, I went to an all-day administrative function with my coworkers that was fun at times, tedious at others, and overall really helped me to feel better about the profession that's been chosen for me at this point in my life. (I didn't choose this chose me, fo sho.)By a long shot, the first speaker we had was the best one of the day, and I kinda wished that she could have spoken to us the entire time, except my face hurt from laughing at her for the first 2 hours of the day, so it might have done permanent damage had she been up there all day long.

She wasn't only funny, but she was helpful. ("She" is Christine Cashen, case you were wondering.) She gave us tips on how to try to brainstorm more effectively toward solutions to problems. And she tried to help us understand that there are ways for us to work through the mires of administrative work, especially when dealing with idiots and generally difficult coworkers/bosses day in and day out, and then she gave us ideas on how to handle those types of situations. Keeping positive, teaching people how to treat us, learning the power of communication...this was all helpful stuff to me. Particularly in the "keeping positive" arena.

My favorite point that Christine made all day was the "2 hour good mood." When you start your day off, from the time you wake up, just say you're in a good mood. No matter what happens, just remember that you're in that good mood for the first 2 hours of the day, and it's almost guaranteed that your day will turn out to be a better one because of it. Her example was something like this: say you're driving to work, and a car pulls out in front of you unneccesarily. Just say to yourself, "Boy, they're lucky I'm in a good mood today!" Or you get to the office, and you find a pile of work on your desk that your boss left for you from the night before. To that you could say, "It's a good thing I'm in a good mood today."

I know it sounds stupid, but I just wanted to share it. This technique has been working really well for me over the past few weeks. After that crappy Sunday morning that I had a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't help but feel a little put out and unhappy once I was thoroughly soaking wet and had seemingly wasted a good 2 hours of what usually is sleep-time for me, and I was really grumbly on the way out of the park. Once I got to the street that would take me home, though, I kind of snapped out of it, and said to myself, "Well, they're just damned lucky I'm in a good mood today!" And I felt better. (Well, until some idiot cut me off as I tried to make a move to a right hand turn lane a few minutes later...I had to keep reminding myself of my good mood over and over again on the ride home that day, actually.)

Most work mornings don't require me to have to remind myself of my good mood. I can honestly say that I come to work in a naturally good mood these days, I love it so much here. This morning, I had my Arcade Fire on super-loud, and was bouncing around as I listened to Power Out. It ended right as I pulled into "my" parking spot (which happened to be open today), and I gave a little "Woo!" as I climbed out of my car and went around the other side to grab my lunch and my purse. I couldn't help it...I felt happy.

I think I need the reverse 2 hour good mood technique in my case these days, since the drive home each day tends to piss me off more than anything else throughout the day. I should try that tonight. I could have used it last night, for sure...

Anyway, give it a go. See how it works for you. Being in a good mood is a nice thing, dammit.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


I was just asked by coworker on the east coast if my boss and I realize that a meeting we have to hold once a week for ONE HOUR is now scheduled to take place over their lunch hour. (The meeting used to be on Mondays in the afternoon, but is now scheduled from 11 - 12 CST on Tuesdays, due the the fact that it is an open time on the boss's calendar, and he's the guy who kinda runs the show.) She ends her note with, "I know there are only a few of us out here..."

Ok, half the company* is out there. The fact that we have this meeting from 12 - 1 EST should be a doable deal for those who actually WANT their projects to move forward with funding, but I suppose that LUNCH is more important to some. At least on Tuesdays it is.

This chick isn't even on the call every week!

Fuckin'. A.

*Ok, it's less than half the company, but still a lot of them. At least a third, I'd say. But exaggeration is always allowed when annoyance and venting is involved.

Let's not talk about it, then.

Yesterday was a day filled with frustration with the weather, sometimes with the fiance, and then with the level of exhaustion involved with the errands we needed to do/had time to do. It all started with our engagement photos we had planned to take. (Well, it started with my work out and then my hair appointment after that, but the point of the day was to get the engagement photos done.)

I took the day off from work in order to match schedules with the fiance, and so we could have more time with the photographer if necessary, since Tuesdays are infinitely less busy for her than Saturdays. We don't really need the engagement photos for any significant purpose...they were really just a fun extra part of the package that we chose for our wedding, and we plan on using them for nothing else besides our Guest Book, which the photographer can create for us using 6 - 10 of the best shots we got out of the shoot.

I wanted outdoor, somewhat candid, more photojournalistic shots, kind of what we plan on doing on our wedding day as well. When I saw the weather reports starting on Saturday saying that rain would likely hit the area on Tuesday morning, I really hoped it would clear out by the time we planned on heading out to take photos. Our appointment was at 10:30. I went and got my hair done early, and then the fiance and I headed over to the studio. Unfortunately, the shirt he chose was not a good one for digital photos, so we needed him to change. We rescheduled the shoot to start at noon instead, and went home to eat some lunch and to iron the new shirt we bought for the fiance on our way there.

The shirt was better, and although we had hoped that the extra time we had before the shoot started would give the skies more time to clear up, it was steadily raining again as we pulled back up in front of the studio at noon. Dammit.

So we had an indoor shoot. We wore more dressy clothes at first, and then changed into more casual items after about 45 minutes. But by then, the fiance's attention level was dropping, and quick. Had they had a pool table or something in the studio, we probably would have been fine. But they didn't. (Although the little toy Big Bird that said "peek-a-boo!" every time a flash went off was relatively entertaining once it had been pointed out to me. We wound up putting it in a closet after a while because the way it was making me laugh wasn't as helpful to the photographer as I think she thought it might be at first.) So it got to the point where he just looked unhappy and forced and I was looking like I wanted to beat him up in all the photos, so we called it a day after about 20 minutes in our casual outfits. I was worried we wouldn't have given her anything to work with. She showed us the shots, though (which she said she doesn't usually do, but I think she was reading my frustration and worry really well, and I definitely like that about her), and there were plenty in there to work with, I think. Thank GOD.

We get to see them in about 2 weeks or so, she said. And then we can decide which ones to make a book out of. Should be fun!

I wish we could have taken some outside, and of course, the weather was beautiful and happy after 4 p.m. Gotta love the midwest for its casual use of stormy weather in the springtime to ruin certain outdoor plans now and then, though! (Grrrr...)

The photographer did tell us that if we absolutely hate the pictures after seeing them, we can do a quick little second shoot when it's convenient for all of us in the future. I thought that was very nice of her, and she did call and offer to cancel yesterday morning before we even went to the studio, since she knew we wanted outdoor stuff. But I'd taken the day off, and I'd just had my hair just wasn't feasible to cancel on the day-of like that. I can barely afford the days off I'm already taking, much less plan even MORE of them in the near future! Plus, it seems really petty and bridezillaish to me to complain about the photos we do have, especially with as many cute ones as I saw from yesterday. We'll get outdoor photos on our wedding day, and that'll be just fine.

After we were done there, we had lots of other things to do, like hit the post office to buy 10 two-cent stamps, and go to the gym to sign the fiance up with a membership, and go to the book store to find a book that can give us more info about the island we're honeymooning on in November, and shop for dinner, and buy a new vacuum. We did a LOT yesterday, and I was officially exhausted by it all at about 7 p.m. last night. I pushed through that though, and stayed up to watch an episode of The Riches we had recorded for me from Monday (when I was also too exhausted to stay up past 9:30 p.m.), and then an episode of The F Word that had been recorded by TiVo earlier in the day, since it knows how much we love Gordon Ramsay and his wacky kitchen antics. I couldn't wake up to go to the gym this morning, I was still so tired. And even getting out of bed at 6:20 to shower (after 8 and a half hours of sleep, mind you!) was still a bit tough, so I'm not sure what the problem is here. I'll walk the dog tonight to get in some extra exercise, but I'm not going to push it. When I'm this tired, something is afoot. If it's a slumbering virus of some sort inside of me, I definitely don't want to piss it off and wake it up. I have stuff I gotta do this weekend, dammit! (And you KNOW that's when the slumbering viruses like to wake up and pounce on ya. Just when you don't need them the most. I hate it when they do that shit!)

And now I'm off to figure out why I am having such a hard time logging in to my work stuff remotely when I need to. That's not going to work for me over the next few months when I need to be able to work now and then on days off. Nuh-uh.

Happy Wednesday! (It's Wednesday, right? Yes. Wednesday. Happy Wednesday, for sure...)

Monday, May 14, 2007

Not sure what that's about

I just saw an ad on a page that I was reading a Brett Favre story on (give it up, Favre. Give. It. Up.) that had a hotdog pictured in it, and now I want a hotdog so bad, I could cry.

My head still hurts.

Work has not gotten better throughout the day. Painstakingly slow processes are dragging me down, and I don't know how to handle it! Argh!!!

I want a hotdog, dammit.

New Idea...

I really need a vending machine that dispenses Advil Cold & Sinus today. Two days in a row with the sinus headache now, and I don't get it. I feel pretty damned good otherwise, surprisingly (since this weekend marked the beginning of the Painful Workouts, as per the request of the Evil Trainer), but the headache is really obnoxious, and tends to interfere with my ability to get things done. It slows me dooooowwwn. Want it to go 'waaaaayyyy.

Regular ol' Advil is helpless against it. It. Sucks.

So I have been trying to work, giving up relatively quickly when I can't get something to go my way, and finding other things to do instead like stare out the window at the baby geese that are too far away to actually see but still I know they're there and aawwww! Or eating lunch. Or finding useless news stories to read that I don't care much about but it's not something that matters like work does, and so it's a better mindless activity all in all.

Last week, it was pure exhaustion on a Monday. This week, it's a sinus headache. What next, I wonder?

Oh well...I'll fumble through it. Wednesday is bound to be a better day than this because of it, and that's always nice to know. (I have tomorrow off for the engagement photos, so I get to skip being a useless lump at work all day!)

I spent a good amount of time this morning writing a post that I thought I wanted to post, but then realized I didn't, so that's why you're getting crap from me today. Maybe better stuff later (so Coley doesn't come after me with a spike or something otherwise pokey to hurt me with), it depends on what crosses my feeble and hurting mind today.

Friday, May 11, 2007

It's very confusing...

Ok, I lied earlier about not having anything to talk about.

What is the deal with me feeling all cute, and shit, and then going to the bathroom to see that (a) yes, my legs do look fantastico, (b) this new skirt is really, really, really cute, and (c) my face looks like the living dead. WHERE'D THE COLOR GO??

I feel fine. But I look as pale as a hermit who hasn't seen the light of day for over 5 years. What the fuck is going on with my complexion?

*sigh!* I really wish it would make up it's mind already.

Might be time to add "spray tanning" to the list of beauty treatments.

Also, I love the fact that the attack of my fiance's shoes this week had to cause me to stumble into the corner of the coffee table and bruise my calf. (I fell backwards.) The bruise is lovely, and it's been so much fun trying to cover it with my bare minerals makeup for the past two days, as I was tired of wearing pants and tights (tights weather has looong gone, muthafuckas...) like I did for the first two days of the week to cover it up. It's not covering it completely, but it is making it look a little less obvious. (read: You can still see the bruise, but it looks like a bruise covered in makeup. And I'm not sure what makes me look more douchey...the big, bad bruise itself, or the bruise covered in makeup. I wish I had my camera with me so I could leave it up to you guys to decide. Maybe I'll follow up tomorrow, if I have some time. We'll see.)

It's like a graveyard around my office. My boss went to a meeting before noon, and my other coworker is out for a funeral, and her boss (who's office is next to my boss's office) disappeared sometime after lunch and hasn't been back yet, so he might've gone home already even though his office door is wide open. I've heard about him doing that sort of thing...just taking off without saying anything to anyone, and then when someone calls him to find out where he is he says, "On my couch drinking a beer. Why?" (I'm not going to say I want that job, because even though I'm "stuck" here intermittently playing on the 'net and working on random bits that come through my email inbox, it is still infinitely easier than trying to understand what my boss and his peers do day in and day out. I still earn a paycheck for my attempts to make his life as easy as it can be, and I even got a bonus this week that I was unaware I was eligible for, so yay! Bonus! And that is all that matters to me. I'll sit on my couch and drink...something less fun than a beer...later on.)

This weekend is Pedicure Weekend. This will be my reward for having to step up the workouts to a degree that my trainer has described must be "uncomfortable for you to do for more than 20 minutes." I have to do that on both the eliptical AND the upright bike. I'm so excited! (Yes, I'm lying.) He says it should only be really, really hard for about 2 days. After that, it will only be really hard.


I'll do it, though. I remember when I started working out with him last July, and getting on an eliptical machine for more than 10 minutes seemed a laughable task. (And it would have been, had I been able to laugh.) Now, I can crank it out for more than 30 minutes on a random hilly interval thing at a level 8.

He wants me to go to level 11. And then up to 12 by next week. Same thing on the bike. Those of you who work out on a Precor (or possibly any other kind) of eliptical or bike know what a challenge this can be. Especially to a girl who has to hold up 190 pounds as she does it. Yeah, just got a bit more perspective there, eh? I thought so.

Those of you who don't work out at all? Get to it! If I can get my lazy ass up 5 days a week to get this kind of workout done, then you most certainly can as well. I need to make it 6 days, but haven't been able to do that for the last 2 weeks. Next week, that will become a reality, dammit. It MUST. That's all there is to it.

And I just managed to write such a rambling and random post for you all that you might just have wished you hadn't come here at all today, huh? Hey, at least you don't have to live with me. Believe me when I say it's soooo much worse in person.

What's that bit about a milkshake in someone's yard?

I started my lunch at about noon. I got a salad that I have been eating since I sat back down at my desk, but I haven't been able to finish it because everyone is coming over to visit me during lunchtime! What's that all about? (I've had some lovely conversations, though. People here are nice, yo.)

I mean, it's 1:20 now! Is it even safe to eat the pieces of chicken I have left on the salad? Sheesh!

As today is a mellow day, and is also a very fucking beautiful day outside, I will be going home tonight, getting the puppy, and heading down to the Moose to have Diet Pepsi's and waters with my pals until the fiance gets off work, and we can go get dinner somewhere.

I've got no stories, no fun anecdotes, and no interesting tid bits to share today, so you are on your own when it comes to finding entertainment for the next couple of minutes, I'm afraid. Sorry to be a let-down, but it's just so pretty out...I think it sucked all my creativeness out of me from the walk from the cafeteria back to my building!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms, and have fun with your moms this weekend if you are, in fact, just a kid of a mom like I am. See you Monday!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Not much time...

Don't have too much time for a "real" post today, so I'll just tell everyone this:

It took me about 5 months here, but I found "my" parking spot in the parking garage at work. I actually found it a few weeks ago, but don't get it every day unless I get here a bit early, so I wasn't completely sure about it...but now I am! I love it!

See, it's a HUGE spot...bigger than any of the others in the lot, from what I've found. It's on the 2nd level of the garage (the first level is off limits unless you get here at the crack of ass each day, and I don't get here at the crack of ass. I'm lucky if I get here at the ASS of ass...), and it's just perfect because no matter how badly someone parks in the spots on either side of it, they never can get too close to my car. Unless they park over the line and into "my" spot, in which case they get a strongly worded note regarding their lack of common sense/decorum/respect for my AND their car, so that's on them. (And it hasn't happened yet, anyway...because this spot is PERFECT dammit!)

I'm so happy...

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Ah, so Domo...

This week, the fiancé and I finally took some time out to visit a restaurant in Brookside that people have recommended to us, since they know we’re avid sushi lovers. It’s a new place called Domo Japanese Restaurant, and even though it was $1 sushi night at our favorite, favorite sushi restaurant (Friends in Westport at 39th and State Line), we sacrificed and went for the new place instead.

The décor is lovely. Head and shoulders above Friends. (I’m not bothered by the bright color palette that Friends has, but the fiancé is. I don’t know why…) The waiter was attentive and very friendly, which made sense since there were about 6 people total in the restaurant when we got there, and even less when we left. Sure, we were there a bit late (around 7:30-ish), and it WAS a quiet night of the week that generally is a more standard night for most folks to stay in I guess, but still. Place was empty.

We asked what fish they recommended, and found out that just about everything on the menu had arrived that day, so we were fine with ordering a wide variety of stuff. I’m a fan of yellowtail and salmon, as well as regular ahi tuna and any kind of snapper I can get my hands on. The fiancé prefers his salmon smoked, and they didn’t have any on the menu, so we skipped that. We also tried conch for the first time. It had a really good flavor, but the texture threw me off a bit, and I didn’t enjoy it much because of that. No biggy…the ahi was great, the yellowtail was perfect, and my salmon was good too. Not the best I’ve had, but still yummy enough.

We also ordered a cut roll (as is our usual routine…several pieces of nigiri sushi, or the kind with the fish lying on top of a small serving of rice, and then one cut roll, or the kind that is rolled up with seaweed, some sort of fun ingredients, and rice that is cut into smaller pieces that are about 1.5 – 2 inches in diameter) that had a fun name I can't recall right now, but basically it had yellowtail, avocado, cucumber, and then some sort of sesame soy dressing on it. I thought it would be more yummy than it was…the dressing wasn’t what I was expecting, I think. Not sweet enough, and too salty/sour to balance properly with the fish. It just didn’t taste very good unless I dipped it into my soy sauce and wasabi mixture, and that defeated the purpose of the dressing they used, IMO.

Also, the nigiri was difficult to eat. They charge a lot for their sushi, and rightly so…I haven’t seen such big pieces of nigiri anywhere else in town so far! But I think they could cut down on the portions of the nigiri, and conversely cut down the prices of their sushi per serving as well, and not only would they sell more of it, but the customers might be happier, too. With the way it was put together, I tasted more rice than fish, which isn’t fun for me. I like the fish part. It definitely shouldn’t be overpowered by the rice. The rice was falling apart, too, so I’m not sure if that was just because the sushi chef didn’t spend an appropriate amount of time pressing it together, or he was inexperienced and didn’t do it right, or if it had the wrong sushi rice recipe applied to it. I doubt it was the latter, as it tasted fine. I just wish it hadn’t been so difficult to maneuver. (Somehow, my chop sticks kept slipping on the rice. I’m a pretty talented chop stick user, though, so it’s not user-error in this case…the rice was weird.)

Overall, it’s a restaurant we’ll definitely visit again. The lure of the tempura a la carte is too much for me to pass up (I’m trying to be good, but sometimes, a girl has got to have her fried veggies, dammit!), even though I did this last time, and I look forward to trying it in the future. The sushi was filling as it was, so I needed less in order to fill up, which was nice. Somehow, though, we wound up spending the same as we do when we go to Sushi House in Town Center for dinner, and we always get more sushi there since they charge less for it than Domo does. But, they also gave us a free bowl of green tea ice cream at the end of dinner, as they felt bad the sushi had taken as long as it did to make for us. (To be honest, we didn’t notice that it took so long. But it was nice of them to make the effort toward making sure we were happy all the same!) But their green tea ice cream wasn’t right. Not the way I remember it anyway. I tried a teeny-tiny bit, and it didn’t have the right flavor. (I used to love finishing up a Chinese meal with a cup of green tea ice cream when I was a kid! God, I loved that stuff…) It almost reminded me of the soy version, which really, really, really sucks and I would NOT recommend it. However, it clearly was made from cream or milk, so it wasn’t soy. It just wasn’t flavored right. What’s happened to green tea ice cream since I was a kid? Doesn’t anybody know how it’s supposed to taste? (The fiancé ate it all. He seemed fine with the flavor. He’d never had it before, though.)

I think we made a mistake hitting it on $1 sushi night at Friends. We should have gone to our old haunt and saved $50! But for a Friday night craving, we’re glad we don’t have to hike all the way out to Leawood anymore. (And I’m not mentioning what night $1 sushi night is at Friends on purpose. If you don’t know already, then you don’t need to know, dammit! That place gets packed by the time 6:45 rolls around, so many people have found out about the fabulous secret! I refuse to feed that monster, as we hate waiting over a half an hour for our sushi when we go there…)

So, check out Domo if you have the chance. They were nice, and their portions were well worth the money, IMO. We’re looking forward to heading back there to try some other cut rolls, and possibly some of the stuff on their regular menu. Mmmm…Japanese food rocks.

I won't do THAT, but I will do this...

Anybody have any good recommendations for a teeth whitening system? I'm planning on looking at some around lunchtime today, so respond in the comments ASAP, por favor. Thanks! *me grinning at you with my slightly yellow-tinted grin*

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

That whooshing sound you hear is my head spinning

It's been a whirl-windy kinda day, all. I got sleep last night, and felt ok this morning once I managed to drag my ass outta bed to get to the gym and meet with my trainer at 6. (I go at 5:30 so I can get in a half-hour of cardio first...I know, I know, I AM a physical powerhouse. I dare someone to attack me, thinking I'm just a big, cushy, wimpy woman who doesn't have any upper - or lower, for that matter - body strength. They would lose the fight. Bad.) I took this morning off from work, as it was a trip to the dentist day for me and the fiance (he's working on getting his oral health back in check, and needs moral support from his big, not-so-cushy, no-so-wimpy fiancee when he goes for these visits as he is an extreme phobic when it comes to the dentist. Fascinating stuff, lemme tell you. And I am so proud of him for doing what he's doing right now, it's not even funny! I can't imagine going through something like what he goes through when he even thinks of the dentist...well, wait a minute. If it's anything like my phobia of moths, then I can kind of imagine it. But somehow, I don't think the two are as comparable as I'd like to think they might be...), and then when we were done there we went to Sprint to deal with his broken phone issue (he cracked the LCD screen on the inside about a month ago, and can't see any text messages or anything because of it...) and did the fun Sprint dance there, and then I dropped him back off at home and I came in to the office at about 12:30. My boss is in a meeting that is supposed to last 4 hours this afternoon, and I've caught up on my work, so I thought I'd take a moment to come out and visit with y'all!

You doin' ok? Happy? Healthy? Getting all your shit done?

Good. That's nice to hear.

I've also managed to make several appointments for myself over the course of the last hour as well. Pedicure this Saturday, hair appointment in two weeks from today, facial on the 26th. Next Tuesday is our engagement photo day, so I'll be taking that day off as well, which isn't as exciting as it might sound. I always start off my Tuesdays at 4:30 a.m., regardless of what I'll be doing that day, since I have a standing appointment with the trainer at 6. So next Tuesday will be a lot like today, except I won't go into the office at all. I'll be getting up to go to the gym, run home for a nap before showering and then running off to get my hair "blown-out" by my hair dresser, so I can look pretty for my engagement photos with my sweetie all day long. I still don't know what to wear! (I have ideas, though...)

The whole beauty routine has become ridiculous as of late, actually. The facials, the massages (which I'm doing to help maintain my sanity, as well as hopefully help me look younger...don't ask), the hair dressing, the all seems to be a bit much to me. And it doesn't end there! At home, I slather on stuff to help my eyes look less puffy and wrinkled (which they somehow manage to do simultaneously each day), other stuff to make my dark spots fade, some other stuff to smooth out my complexion, and THEN I put on my SPF 30 face lotion before I put on my make-up. Lather, rinse, repeat at night before bed, but without the SPF 30 lotion or the complexion smoother and make-up part. (Because that would be weird. And I'm not THAT weird, I swear.) I look old when I look in the mirror lately, and I don't know if it's because of my crazy workout routine that I have to maintain at such an odd hour (I have to, or it won't get done, honestly), or if it's because I'm just lucky this way and my face has decided to start hating me and rebelling in the 6 months before I have one of the biggest days of my life, or if it's because I'm simply telling myself I look old. Maybe it's not as bad as I think. (Except it is. I have proof. I need to throw away the proof, but it fascinates me in a Duggar-family-having-their-17th-baby kind of way. I have a hard time not looking at it, dammit. My aging process is a car wreck on the highway of my life...oh, so unpoetic...) (Oh, and that link is just to the Discovery Channel's info on the Duggars. I just heard this morning that she's due to give birth to the 17th any day now, is all. I can't find any stories about it online, though, so I just had to link to that instead. Sorry.)

And now, as the end of the day draws near, and my boss really does appear to have to stay for all 4 hours of the meeting he's in, I will be heading off into the internet sunset to see what else I can find.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Probably unintelligible.

I couldn’t sleep at all on Saturday night, which wouldn’t usually bother me much, but this week it did. Sunday, I was all set to join my coworkers in the Walk America for March of Dimes event that was happening at Shawnee Mission Park starting at 9 a.m. in the morning. (I was planning on getting there around 8.) For those of you who are wondering, the March of Dimes raises money for the research of what causes premi births, and the attempt to find prevention of such occurrences. It does lots of other stuff too. Here’s a timeline of their milestones and achievements since their inception back in 1938.

Anyway, I wound up getting about 4 hours of sleep on Saturday into Sunday, and figured I’d be alright since I could get a nap on Sunday after getting back from the walk, if necessary. I just do laundry and shit on Sundays, so it leaves lots of time for stuff like lying around, taking off nail polish, eating snacks, buying Mother’s Day presents (DON’T FORGET TO GET YOUR MOM A PRESENT! SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU, DAMMIT!! Unless she’s a total bitch, in which case, better to let it go…), taunting the dog, etc, etc…

So I got up yesterday at the crack of, and noticed it was a bit gray outside. Didn’t bother me too much, though, since it was pretty gray all day on Saturday, too. I got some breakfast, and then went in to look up the best directions to take to the park, and as I finished figuring out my route, I heard a distant rumble of thunder from the west. “Hmm,” I thought. “I’d better look at a satellite to see what’s up.” So I pulled up, and saw that a line of thunderstorms had set-up camp west of town, and happened to be holding steady right at that moment over the park where I was heading for the walk. I figured they’d move east eventually, and there was just normal rain behind the initial bad, bad rain, so I texted my boss to let him know I was going to be a bit later than I had initially anticipated, and then called my other coworker to see what she was planning on doing. She assured me that it said that the walk would take place “rain or shine” and I made a point to say, “Yeah, but what about torrential downpours, lightning, and possible tornadic activity?” We got off the phone so I could try contacting the March of Dimes office. Of course they don’t have anyone manning the phones on a walk day that is being threatened with a huge storm or anything, though, so I had to make the call on whether to head out there all on my own. I decided to go, since, again, I thought the storms were moving west to east. And then I looked at the Weather Channel. They had a moving radar image that showed the storms were, in fact, moving from south to northeast. The line of bad, bad rain was over the park, and it was staying there for a while.

I headed out anyway. I was gonna brave it, and be a good coworker, and a good motivator to my other coworkers who were braving it, too. And as I got closer and closer to the park, and the rain got heavier and heavier, I just shut it all out even more. As I joined the line of traffic waiting to get into the “parking lot” for the walk, my boss sent me a new text message. “IT IS POURING!!” I started to text him back but was interrupted when he called me instead. (Why we hadn’t just called each other in the first place is beyond me…) I told him where I was at, and he was about 10 blocks behind me in line, so I told him I would just see him at the tent for our company, as we had previously planned. I got to the main gate and noticed that we were all being directed to a field just to the left of the road we were on. It was too late for me, though! I couldn’t escape…I was forced to drive forward into a field of grass and mud and attempt to make my way to a parking spot that I was being directed to. As I moved forward (cursing the stupidity I was apparently functioning under by even heading to this thing in the first place), I noticed that the grass was getting higher, and the best thing to do was to drive on the grass that hadn’t been driven on already, as I had better traction that way. I was pissed. But then I noticed all the idiotic people who had already parked their cars, and were ushering their families – small children! – through the rain and lightning towards the start area for the walk. No umbrellas, no thick rain coats. Hell, some of these kids were wearing SHORTS even! It was only 69 degrees out, which is chilly enough when one isn't also covered in cold rain. Idiots. Dumbasses. Why wasn’t the health and happiness of their children foremost in their minds?

Me? I was alone. I had my hoodie on, and I had an umbrella. I had made the smart decision to wear my old, run-down walking shoes already, so mud and water didn’t daunt me. It daunted my car, but not me, personally. I parked in the spot I was guided to, and then asked some relatively unconcerned parking “officials” (i.e. the guys in yellow ponchos and rain hats that were guiding traffic into the spots they needed to park in) if they were planning on having some tow trucks available to help us out later, as this clearly wasn’t getting any better. At first the guy ignored me. So I said, “No, seriously, will there be tow trucks, because this already sucks pretty bad.” He replied that he was sure tow trucks would be available, but “…you’ll have to pay for it.” I told him that was bullshit, and then went on my merry way towards the start area of the walk. The grass was up to my knees in the area I parked in. About 25 yards away from me, the grass was shorter, so that was a bit nicer to walk through. (Sort of.)

I finally got to the little road that lead the way to the tent area, and maneuvered my way through traffic, walking behind a couple that had parked near to me. After I’d walked a little ways, I realized I had been so concerned with the mud and the water and getting onto a solid road that I hadn’t really taken very good notice of where I was parked. Shit. Oh well…cross that bridge when you come to it, I figured!

Almost all the way to the tents, a couple of women from a large company in town (one of the heavy hitters when it comes to raising donations for March of Dimes) walked towards us saying that the walk was cancelled. FINALLY! It bothered me a bit that they didn’t have anyone in their offices watching the weather and noting the amount of rain that the area would be receiving, and therefore answering any calls, or being more prepared for the possibility of terribly bad weather on the day the walk was scheduled for! But they didn’t, so there’s no point in dwelling, I s’pose.

I sloshed back to my car, managing to find it without too much difficulty, and after waiting for a while in line behind all the other cars that were leaving at the same time, I finally was back on my way home after a wasted hour and a half of my Sunday. An hour a half that would regularly be spent sleeping, but that’s still more important than most other things in my life, actually. If for no other reason than helping me feel balanced and healthy, dammit.

Because today I am completely exhausted. Yesterday, I didn’t feel the effects of my lack of sleep from the night before at all. I wasn’t even tired enough to need a nap in the afternoon, like I usually am if I wake up too early after a bad night’s sleep. But this is what’s been happening to me lately, it seems like. I can’t sleep one night, the next day I get up to go to the gym or do whatever, and feel fine all day long, and then go to sleep at a normal hour (10 or 10:30, usually), and then the next day, I am dragging ass so deep that I probably look like a walking zombie. I definitely feel like a walking zombie, so I can imagine it must be the image that comes across to everyone else. This morning, I got up and went to the gym at 5. When I got home, I had to lie down on the couch for 10 minutes, I was so tired. I don’t know how I got myself into the shower, but I did it eventually. And then I got ready for work, and headed in. On my way here, I was so, sooo tired, I actually considered stopping on a side road to sleep for 10 minutes or so, just to ensure I wouldn’t get into any accidents. THAT’S how bad it was! And now that I’m here, I’m grumpy, I’m barely able to keep my eyes open, and I think I’m going to find a secret supply closet at about 3:30 to go sleep in for 15 minutes while my boss is in a meeting. I’m not kidding.

And that’s an hour from now, dammit! I think I might cry…

Anyway, I don’t know if ANY of this made any sense at all, since I’m as tired as I am, but I tried, ok? That’s about as good as it’s gonna get today, I’m afraid. Bye now…

It's a good thing I was in a good mood...

Sunday sucked ass.

Bigger post to follow later. Just wanted everyone to know that I have a story to tell. You lucky lurkers, you!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Thank you!

Thank you to Mike, Coley, and Anonymous (I think I'll just start referring to "anonymous" commenters as "'Mous" from now on, as I find it cute, and a bit more personal) for their suggestions on my freak out about the dress issue. Coley, I'll stop looking from now on. I will forget that I even have the photos in my computer to look at!

But it's also been hard to stop looking at new designs as well...Look at the pretty!

And the back of the pretty! OH! So beautiful...

I'm putting this one on here simply because it makes me laugh. Just how hideous did the original model look that they thought a bad superimposement of a totally different head (in GIANT SIZE) would look better?
And they didn't do it in just one photo!
Hey, at least I won't be Super Weird-Head Girl on her wedding day. I'll just be Super Big-Ass Girl. (Which I'd much rather be anyway...I mean, look at the attention it got J-Lo, right? Having a nice, big ass is always a good thing.)

In other news, I ate a salad today without dressing. It tasted pretty good with just a little oil and a LOT of vinegar on it instead. (And the glob of guacamole probably didn't hurt, either! Or the bacon bits...) I've lost a pound so far, and the trainer wants to see a pound and a half this week, and another 2 pounds the week after that. I'll give it a go, but the hunger really sucks. Today is my first day off this week from working out, and I'm back at it tomorrow. I am rewarding myself with a massage that the fiance gave me a gift cert for back on my birthday, and I finally have good reason to use! I can hardly move, my strength training hurt me so much this week. Good news is: that means it's working. Bad news is: Ow.
And that is it for the wedding blues tirades for a while, I swear. Who knew that the 5 months mark would bring so much crap along with it? Christ almighty...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Oh, for heaven's sake...

I'd heard of this sort of thing, but I didn't really understand it. And now...NOW, it's happening to me.

I'm double-thinking my dress choice for the wedding.

AUGH! WHY? Why am I even considering that I might've picked the wrong one? Why, when I felt so right in it the first time I tried it on? Is because now I have pictures of myself in it? And I HATE the way I look in it? (Linebacker in a dress, no kidding.) And the back looks not as beautiful as I remember it?

Will I feel differently about it once I have the veil with it? The veil that I'm having designed specifically to go with the dress, mind you, so double-thinking this choice can be really, REALLY idiotic for more reasons than just the one.

I don't know. I've heard of girls that buy 3 dresses, they have such a hard time with this part. And I thought to myself, Oh. Those silly, stupid women.

And here I am! I be a silly, stupid women now, too! GAH!

Freaking out over here. Freaking the fuck out.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Oh, hello Camel Toe!


I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder faa-aall...

If I'm supposed to take a pill with a glass of water, and I just finished drinking a glass of water (but forgot to take the pill when I first got the glass), does that mean it's ok to take the pill with Diet Coke instead? Since the water is already in mah belly and all...I figure it'd be fine. But I don't know for sure, and that makes me wonder.

And I haven't visited The Knot once today. How strong am I?

(Yeah, I'm going there right now. You guys know me so well!)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

This isn't super-interesting, really, but...

Ok, am I the only one that sees the irony in this story? He was the CEO of a company called BP? AND his last name is "Browne" for chrissakes?

Oh, the comedy. God bless the comedy...

More fun from The Knot

Ok, I have to do some wedding venting today, because I’m pissed off and need to let it out. Quit reading now if you don’t give a hang about wedding etiquette, and/or the idiots on The Knot message boards who apparently live their lives by the book…

So. I found this thread on the message boards today about the possibility of (*horror of all horrors!*) a bride who might be throwing her shower for herself. Now, my personal opinion on the matter is that it seems a bit off for someone to get all bent out of shape over this scenario. One can’t be sure of the exact situation the bride is in. Plus, who cares? If the shower is bound to happen someway or another, what does it matter who actually pays for the damned thing?

I might be on this side of the fence in this matter, though, seeing as I’ve taken it upon myself to “throw” my local shower myself here in KC. But I have several reasons for feeling that was the most appropriate thing to do, so hear me out before you judge me like the girls on the fucking message board did…

First of all, my future mother-in-law (FMIL) was looking to throw the shower, or so I’d heard. Unfortunately, as I live in Kansas City (as do most of my local friends), going to a shower in South Bend where I would know a total of 5 people at my wedding shower didn’t really appeal to me so much. I want my friends here in KC to be there, and it’s not likely they’d be able to travel to South Bend to attend it.

Second of all, the traditional thing for a shower-throwing is for the bridesmaids (BMs) to get together and throw it for the bride. I think. Again, fuzzy on tradition here, because I don’t really give a flying fig about tradition like this. My twin had a shower that was thrown by a friend of her FMIL at the time. It was horrible – she was all uppity and barely fed the guests, and then took the leftover cake home herself instead of offering it to my sister, i.e. the guest of honor. That woman was a piece of work. I don’t remember the showers for my older sisters, so I can’t use them as examples. (Not sure why I brought that up, then…) My friends here in Kansas that got married over the last few years had really lovely showers. Usually at houses that belonged to their parents or grandparents, or in one case, it was at a neighbor’s house of the friend’s parents, as they were very close as the bride was growing up. They were fun, and easy-going, and the games were cool, even. I enjoyed those showers. One of my BM’s threw a lovely shower for a friend that got married last year. But from what I heard, it wasn’t so fun to be a hostess on that one.

So, not only did I not want to do that sort of thing to my BM again THIS year, but I also am planning on having a few more guests than would fit into her apartment living room. They wouldn’t fit in my living room, either. I don’t have family or family friends in town, since I’m not from here originally, so that’s not an option either.

The best option? Having the shower at a restaurant or public space of some sort. I started thinking about just how out-of-the-ordinary it would be to go ahead and arrange for the shower myself, and just ask one of my BM’s to please handle the RSVP’s for it, rather than having to take care of the entire thing themselves, and I personally didn’t see anything wrong with it.

So, I’m throwing the bridal shower here in KC for myself. And so here was what I encountered on The Knot today when I explained my situation:

Original post - i'm not sure, but the return address label is her name and address. is it a logical assumption that she's planning her own shower, or am i jumping to conclusions?

[Does it bother anyone else when someone can’t take the time to hit the “shift” key on their keyboard when it’s called for?]

My response - I'm planning my own shower. I have to have two of them (one for relatives and friends in California - which my sister is throwing for me, and one here in the midwest for family and friends from Indiana and Kansas), and as my main BM's in the area are either students that are struggling to make ends meet, or are expecting babies and have other expenses to be concerned with right now, and my FMIL would probably prefer to throw one for me in her town in Indiana, it was the only way we could pull one off. I don't see what the big deal is, though. It's like a party for all my closest girlfriends and my FMIL's friends a few months before the wedding. I don't mind throwing it at all...I look forward to buying everyone a yummy Italian lunch and having some mimosas and bloody mary's mid-day on a Saturday.

If people are concerned about the impropriety of giving gifts to someone who's throwing their own party, then all those birthday parties I invited folks to for the past 10 years were wildly inappropriate as well, I suppose! Regardless, a shower was going to be thrown. The fact that I can bear the brunt of the expense by throwing it myself is what makes the most sense to me, seeing as I'm financially able to do so. However, I did ask one of my BM's to be the RSVP contact, to which she readily agreed. Who cares if the bride throws the shower herself? I mean, really...what's the big deal? If it's offensive to you, then don't go.

Response from Attacker 1 - Well the point of a Bridal Shower is to Shower the bride with gifts. The point of a birthday part is to celibrate someones birthday. Gifts are optional. Not so much with a bridal shower. Thats why it is considered tacky to throw your own shower.

Response from original poster - yeah if in fact she is planning her own shower i won't say anything about it to her. but i'll snicker behind her back.

Response from Attacker 2 - FYI, you didn't HAVE to have 2 bridal showers.

My response - I don't understand. A shower is a shower is a shower. Who the hell cares who actually pays for the thing to be thrown? I personally think I'm doing a nice thing by not obligating anyone (my FMIL, who just purchased a new house; my BM's who, as previously mentioned, have more important financial concerns than throwing me a shower, etc...) to take care of having to find a place, take care of food, and host the party themselves!

Faux pas or not, my shower here in the Midwest is going to be a lovely party that I hope everyone has a good time at. I don't think that's a tacky sentiment by any means.

Another response from Attacker 2 - again, you don't NEED two showers, you want more presents.

My response to Attacker 2 – [Attacker 2], yes I did. My FMIL was asking about one, but couldn't afford to travel to Cali, however she and her best girlfriends are excited about the road trip to Kansas City for the one here. I have many friends in town that wouldn't be able to make it to the shower in California, and I couldn't slight them by not having a bridal shower locally! (I've never known a bride that didn't have a shower. I've heard that there are some that don't follow the tradition of having one, but I've never met one, and I personally am not one of them.) My family and friends that live in Cali might not be able to make it to Kansas for the wedding, so the shower is the least I can do to celebrate my wedding with them!

What is wrong with you people? Judgemental much? Sheesh...

Response from original poster – [faith], you don't need 2 showers. you don't even need one. nobody is obligated to throw you one. if nobody's throws you one you don't get one. at least, that's what etiquette states. throwing your own shower screams "gift grab." especially when you're having 2.

i'm sure it will be a lovely party. but don't get defensive because it IS improper.

My response to Attacker 2 (comments were being posted and overlapped with each other, so I didn’t see her “you want more presents” comment until after I was done posting the previous comment I posted) - Yes, yes...more presents. THAT'S what I want out of this. Not to see family and friends and give them a lovely lunch and have a laugh and maybe introduce my FMIL to my stepmom for the first time. Naw...that's not important. It's about the fuuking presents. I WANT ME SOME PRESENTS!

Look, I don't care if they give me presents or not. But keep on judging me, a$$hat. You're clearly a person who would know...

Response from original poster (who is clearly some sort of message board retard) - why are you being so rude? this is my thread, don't like it, buzz off. quit making it about you.

["this is my thread"? WTF??]

Response from Attacker 2 - Look around- I'm not the only one disagreeing with you.

Response from Attacker 1 - Hey relax. You are getting a bit too worked up over this. If it's just about having a nice lunch with friends & family than call it that.. Don't call it a shower.

Response from some random poster jumping in the fray - "I couldn't slight them by not having a bridal shower locally"OMG- that has to be one of the funniest things I've read.

No of course- it's such an HONOR to your guests to allow them to come to a party for you to give you gifts...... WOW. There is no "haves" when it comes to showers. [Faith]- you could have said to FMIL "I'm so sorry that you can't make it to my shower. It does make me sad, but please dont' worry about it. We'll have the wedding and reception to celebrate.". A shower is a gift to the BRIDE. It is NOT a gift from her to her guests. THis is a PRIME example of blowing the importance of a shower WAY out of proportion.

Response from Attacker 2 - call it a luncheon, not a shower then. i'm with EC- you make it sound like your guests should be honored that you'd throw a shower to make it more convenient to give you gifts.

[Again with the gift thing…oy!]

My final response, as I got tired of their shit - Sorry daffodil. I didn't mean to hijack your thread, or whatever, but in giving my instance of why a shower [might be] thrown by the bride herself, I was attacked. And it's my instinct to try to defend myself when attacked, which is pretty similar to most other human beings on the planet. Didn't mean to be rude to you, in particular.

But I still feel most of the people posting replies on this subject are being awfully judgmental and the snark is uncalled for. I'm a grown woman considering her friends when it comes to how certain traditional pre-wedding parties are going to be handled by people who haven't been as fortunate financially over the years as myself. It's not a bridal luncheon, it's a shower. If people want to give me gifts, fine. If they don't, fine. If they don't want to come because they think it's improper etiquette for a bride to throw (i.e. pay for) the shower herself, then they can stay home. I think it would have been weirder for the shower not to have happened at all, but apparently, that's just my personal opinion with which no one agrees. Glad you guys aren't friends of mine, because you're clearly uptight jerks about this sort of thing.


And that was that. I just went and cut and pasted from the whole thing, and there are new responses, but I’m done with reading them. I really don’t know why I go in that particular forum anyway. I just needed to get that all off my chest, as it’s one of those things that’s gotten me all worked up. (Yeah, attack a person for doing something she thinks is nice for people, and tell her she's just doing it for the presents, like she's some sort of 12 year old, and then tell her, “Hey, don’t get all worked up!” Bitches. Fucking retards…) I need to find something else to do for a bit, and calm down, I think.

Message boards are stupid. (But, again, sometimes they’ve given me some great ideas, too. If it weren’t for those ideas, I might just stay away from them all together. But they keep coming with them! GAH!)

Wait a minute...I just realized that many of these girls are um, GETTING MARRIED. And therefore are THROWING WEDDINGS for themselves. Perhaps none of them are expecting gifts to be given to them, I dunno. But isn't it kinda hypocritical for them to be giving me shit about paying for a party for people to attend in order to give me presents when, in essence, that's just what the wedding is as well? (I'm lucky. My dad is paying for my wedding. But I've noticed that LOTS of couples these days are paying for the weddings themselves, with some help here and there from relatives or friends or whatever. So, yeah. There ya go.)

I really need to get my mind on something else. Maybe I'll head out for lunch today and do some shopping, or something. Sheit...

UPDATE: Ok, I had to go back. There were 53 comments on the post by the time lunch was over, and of course, the bitches kept yammering about how inappropriate it all is. So I replied again: "Guys, like I said earlier, the shower was going to be thrown here in the Midwest regardless of who paid for it. Why not be gracious and pick up the tab myself, I thought? According to you all, that was the wrong way to go. Sorry I tramped all over your Ms. Manner's bibles, but I can assure you, it's not meant to be a "gift grab" whatever TF that might be. It's not meant to be some sort of "pay attention to me!" scheme. It was meant to be the shower in the Midwest. Which my FMIL wanted to have. And I didn't mind obliging, since I love her, and this is her first son that's getting married, and if this is fun for her (and for everyone else attending, I hope!), then WTF is wrong with it?

Some of you may have missed it (or not visited my bio, or both), but I'm from California. All my family is there. Some of FI's family is there. My sister is throwing me a shower there (in fact, it'll be the 2nd shower, as it is one month later than the midwest shower) so we can invite the locals from Cali to it. The one here is not just "in another part of town." It's in another part of the country. Thrown for the convenience of the people who happen to reside in another part of the country, i.e. in the MIDWEST. (Perhaps some of you need to pick up a map of the U.S. to figure all of this out.) That happens to be most of my current friends and lots of my FI's family and his parents' friends.

The only people that are invited to both showers are my sisters and my step mom and my FMIL. My FMIL can't go to the one in Cali, even though she tried desperately to figure out a way to do it. And for those of you who will jump all over this opportunity, this is not because I want even MORE presents from my family than everyone else. It's because they're my sisters, and my only mothers on this planet. I love them, and would love for them to be here with me to celebrate all stages of this fabulous event. Like I said earlier, it's not about presents. It's a tradition to have showers, at least among my friends & family, and it would be weird to not have them at the parties, or at least invite them and hope they'll be able to come to both.

I thought of this earlier, and feel it's only appropriate to point out how hypocritical it is for everyone to feel it's so "tacky" to pay for one's own shower when half of you are paying for your own fuuking weddings. How tacky is it for you to pay for dinner and drinks for all these people who will bring you gifts to congratulate you with? Does that mean you are all "gift-grabbers" as well? My father is paying for my wedding, so does that make my karma even out? Jeezy chreezy..."

I couldn't help myself! The sad thing is they probably won't read it all. They'll stop after the first couple of sentences (if that) and then post another comment filled with venom and judgmental vitriol. Assholes. (I really, really wish The Knot would let me cuss like I can here on Blogger! It's so much more satisfying...)