Friday, November 30, 2007

Very, very rational response

Ok, so this teacher in Sudan that allowed her students to name a teddy bear Muhammed? Did she know that the kids were setting her up? I mean, obviously, it was a set-up, right? Because those kids had to have known that it was going to get her into this much trouble, didn't they? Fuck, they were born there and everything! They MUST know that people would be calling for her execution over this overly-egregious error on her part, I'd think.

Evil little kids. Naming a teddy bear (which everyone knows is actually another symbol for Satan, dog poo, dirt on the ground, and basically all things dirty and evil) Muhammed was just a mean way to get back at the woman for teaching them things, for heaven's sake. Couldn't they have just done the old tack-on-the-chair trick? Or a "kick me" sign on her back, or something? They're probably pissed that she didn't get the standard 40 lashes, huh?

This story explains the extremely rational response that her trial and punishment is receiving in Sudan. Let's see...thousands of Sudanese people, armed with clubs and knives, are gathering in town (in Khartoum, to be exact, in case Kellie Pickler fans were wondering) and chanted things like, "Shame, shame on the UK," "No tolerance: Execution," and "Kill her, kill her by firing squad." Some Muslim cleric dude who's apparently in charge at a Mosque in town called "Martyrs Mosque" (no offense, but if I had a choice of Mosques, I'd probably avoid going to that one, personally...seems to me they have a very specific agenda in a place named something like "Martyrs Mosque"...) said specifically that the basic sentence that was handed down "...did not satisfy the thirst of Muslims in Sudan." (Might I suggest a Powerade, perhaps? I've heard they can help.) But he did concede that they would be ok with her just being in prison for a few days prior to being deported back to England. That was nice of him, I thought. (Not a very convincing statement by someone who's supposedly leading the martyrs, but whatever!)

I don't know WHERE the UK Muslim officials get off saying that this response by Sudanese officials and countrymen is out of proportion and some sort of "gross overreaction" on their part. In fact, the secretary general guy of the Muslim Council of Britain said, "This case should have required only simple common sense to resolve."

Does he not realize what happened here? I mean, this woman allowed kids in her class to name a teddy bear, of all things, Muhammed. Yes, I know that's a common name in Muslim households (hell, I just did a search in my work system and pulled up 8 Muhammeds alone), but this is an evil, dirty, disgusting stuffed animal we're talking about here! Those 7 year olds were obviously out to get that teacher. How else can it be explained?

Anyway, I hope she's learned her lesson, dammit. Her plan to infiltrate the Muslim church by (probably) encouraging the naming of all stuffed animals after a revered prophet within a primarily Muslim country didn't work, now did it? Taught her a thing or two, I'd think...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

All the money in the world...

Pretty hair, pretty face, pretty boobies...even with all that going for her, you couldn't pay me enough to trade brains with Kellie Pickler.

Last night as I drove home, I listened to Lazlo and Slimfast and Afentra discuss the following clip from "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" they played on the air for us listeners:

Apparently, this girl was a contestant on American Idol at some point...I don't follow the show much, so I haven't any clue what season she's from or anything. She's a country singer, basically.

Nothing...NOTHING excuses a grown person who happened to get all the way through high school - even with BAD grades - from knowing whether or not Europe is a country. I'll try to excuse the fact that she had never heard of (???!!!) Budapest. I've heard of it because, well, I paid attention when I was in school growing up, and also, my family is of Hungarian descent, so visiting Budapest has always been something I'd like to do someday.

I don't know what bugged me more: the fact that Kellie hadn't any idea that Europe is actually a continent that contains countries on it, or that she was trying to work out whether France was a country, or that she was SURE that they spoke French in Budapest (even though she'd never even heard of it before she saw the name of the capital city in front of her on a giant blackboard), or if it was when Foxworthy started calling Hungary "hungry." Because THAT really topped the whole thing off for me. That's not how it's pronounced, dumbass! So when he started saying, "You know, like you're hungry. Its hungry..." I thought I was going to have to jump out of my car right then and there and pound my feet into the pavement in a fit of painful fury.

Somehow, I made it home without hurting myself or others, though. I just calmed myself down with the thought that at least I have something to blog about today. Even though the Ladylike Dresses from Target helped a bit yesterday.

I just wonder how much this chick is worth. How does she remember the lyrics to songs? How does she remember to put her underthings on beneath her clothing? How does she remember how to turn the alarm clock off in the morning? There are so many questions I have now, and no answers...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

In love with categories...

I love that Target has a category for dresses titled "Ladylike."

I also love that these are the sorts of dresses that fall under such a category title...

Ok, maybe if my 12 year old niece is looking for a "ladylike" dress for which to play dress-up in, we can grab her one of these little numbers from good ol' Tarjay! Seriously, what is up with that 2nd dress? And while the 3rd one is bordering on the sorta cute line, it's so, sooo fucking SHORT! That model shouldn't be smiling, she should be making a face that says, "Really, guys? THIS is what you want to sell to women my age?"

Those dresses aren't "Ladylike." They're very, very "Childlike." Look at the way the fucking models are standing for chrissakes! (Ok, not the first one. She's rocking her ugly tri-level beige dress for all the world to see, and she don't care what none of y'all think! *snap!*)

I couldn't help it...

I just sent the following text to our trainer:

"Just wanted to let you know that it hurts for me to even cough today, and [Leo] is moving around like he's 90 years old. Thanks! See you tomorrow, you minion of evil."

I couldn't let the day pass without him knowing what a good influence he is in our lives.


Workouts with the trainer have begun again in earnest. Leo had his first full session with him on Monday, and it's pitiful to watch him try to move around. PITIFUL! (And slightly annoying...but that's good to know, since I'll probably be in the same soreness boat here over the next couple of weeks, so seeing it in action on another person helps, I think. I'm gonna try not to be too expressive with my soreness, if possible.) Yesterday, we simply didn't have a whole lot of time to destroy my muscles, as the trainer would probably prefer. We had to measure to see where we're starting at (gained an inch in my bust and my waist since the last couple of weeks before the shock there - I can feel it. But I also lost an inch in my thighs which confused the trainer. I told him I've been walking a lot...I dunno...), and then we ran through the basic workout he'll want me to do over the weekend and during the week next week on Monday, I think. It's a lot of core work incorporated with some chest, back, and shoulder stuff.

And so today, my core is screaming at me about the workout we did yesterday. My legs are a bit unhappy, but it's nothing compared to what they'll feel like on Friday and Saturday, I'd imagine. While we worked them in when we did some of the core/back exercises, and then focussed on them a bit more when we worked my shoulders, we're actually focussing entirely on stomach and legs tomorrow morning. Which I'm so looking forward to! Goodie...

Getting back to regular workouts after a 3 week break is a nice change again. Last week, I only worked out twice in the gym, but took a couple of walks with the dog over the holiday weekend as well (very, very cold walks, dammit) since she was so antsy to get out she seemed ready to burst. But it felt really good to get back into the swing of things.

The problem with working out now is that there isn't a specific goal we need to reach. I mean, not one we absolutely, positively MUST reach, or some amount of embarrassment would be the reward if we didn't reach it. (i.e. Fitting into my wedding dress.) Now it's just losing weight for losing weight's sake. And I don't care all that much about losing weight. I care about losing inches around my midsection, so I can avoid heart disease if possible. But I don't really care about losing weight. This fact drives my trainer a little nuts, I think.

Which is nice. :)

Anyway, pain and suffering is the key right now. Hopefully we'll get to a better place after a few weeks of being at it on a more regular basis. (I find that soreness isn't nearly so bad or long-lasting as I get stronger in the areas we're focussing on.) But for now? You might be hearing about the workouts from time to time. I like to share my pain when I can. Hope it helps! :P

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A human head!!

Ok, I got the call back from the police. And the yellow bag in the bottom of the trash can contaiiinnnned.....
...nothing exciting, dammit. There was a bag within the bag. And inside of that bag was someone's leftover motor oil and some car part. The cop wasn't sure which car part it was. But oh well.

It wasn't a human head, or a small baby, or even a litter of puppies someone had thrown away. It definitely wasn't a bomb. Which is nice. I mean, that it wasn't any of those things is nice, of course. But whatever.

Back to real life now, I s'pose.

Truly disappointed...

We went out with some friends last night to grab some dinner, and to also say hello (and give some patronage) to an old friend that used to work at the Moose, but now works in an infinitely better place on the Plaza. It was a nice evening...

I told these friends the trash can story, though (it's become a hit at places like the bar at the Moose, and I haven't tried it out yet at work, but I'm sure it will be there as well...), and they came up with an idea that none of you have thought of yourselves, and for that I'm very disappointed in you. I mean, what do I post out here for anyway? You guys need to be my BRAINS now and then, ok? Alright then...

So they suggested that it might be a good idea to call the police. Let them know about the stolen trash can that was returned, and now has a suspicious package in it, and everything. THEY can open the bag up and see what's inside!! I don't have to touch it, or feel it up, or anything! The POLICE can do it!

I know it might seem like an overreaction of some sort, but let's consider the possibility that there really might be something illegal in there. Do I really want that hanging over my head? I really don't.

Plus, it'll make a good blog post, I bet.

So the only problem I have is that I wanna call them, but I also wanna be there when they look into the bag. I also don't want to cause any alarm...I don't think there's a bomb in the bag, or anything, but really, who knows? Maybe the old lady down the street doesn't like us, and she does have a good amount of down time on her hands, you know? It could happen.

So good job guys. We've wasted a good 4 days on this already, and now I won't even BE THERE when they check things out! That sucks.

I'll let you know what happens. (And, seriously...this is all that's happening in life right now. Honest to God, these are exciting times for Faith and Leo. WOO!)

*UPDATE: I've contacted the police department. They're gonna dispatch someone to look in the trash can for us. Hopefully they'll call me with the results! I'll let you know if they do...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Boring today

I don't have much to say today, really. Except the usual reminders of the following:

- Talking on your cell phone while peeing in a public restroom is rude and borders on an invasion of privacy for anyone else that might be in the bathroom at the same time that you are in there. Stop. It. Now.

- The weather in KC has been odd lately. Odder than odd. I wish it would make up its fucking mind already.

- Football season is just about over, and that makes me very sad.

- Going back to work after a 4 day break which happened to follow closely behind an 11 day break from the office sucks. It sucks very, very badly.

I'm hoping tomorrow will bring more for me to share with you...maybe I will feel up that yellow trash bag in the Trash Can That Reappeareth just so I can have something to report back on. I dunno. We'll have to see how brave I get on the way home tonight...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

NOT amusing...

Ok, I just went out to bring in the trash can from the curb, and saw a peculiar sight...
I brought them back to the garage before I snapped the picture, so as not to look too weird to my neighbors. I'm kinda pissed I missed seeing the person bringing it back to me, because earlier when I looked out the window, it wasn't there. So someone dropped it off during the time that I've been awake and puttering around the house cleaning and putting up the Christmas tree and stuff. If only I'd glanced out there at the right time!

But wait! Not only did they return it without the lid (rendering it almost completely useless), but they left us a present inside!

I have no idea what's in that yellow bag, but I did try to lift it and it's heavy. I thought initially it might be the lid, so that's why I even attempted lifting it in the first place. But it's clearly not the's heavy and awkward, and it's staying RIGHT where it is at the bottom of the trash can, thanks. Maybe Leo will be interested in investigating further later when he gets home. For now, it's in a new position next to the garage outside.

In other odd situations around the house this weekend, Leo came home on Wednesday night and snapped a picture of me as I watched t.v. Apparently he thought it was odd that I was wearing my wedding veil as I did so. But dammit, we paid a LOT of money for that thing, and hell if I'm just gonna let it sit around rolled up in a ball in the closet all the time! I felt like wearing it, so I did. (The dog thought it was a toy. I was not amused...)
I got him back, though. Last night he fell asleep on the couch after dinner, as per usual, and he had the funniest look on his face!
The flash woke him up and he moved his face after that, but I caught it first! Yay! Hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Unbelievable things

Who didn't see this coming? What an asshat. What a bunch of douches that actually believed in this guy.

Unfuckingbelieveable. Happy Thanksgiving, Priest. Hope you feel better soon. (I'm sure the paycheck you received for all your "help" during the first part of the season should help a bit with your pain.)

In other unbelieveable (am I spelling that right? Christ, I've gotten lazy over the past two days...I'm not even gonna check!) news, I just called my cable company to see if they can come out and switch a couple of lines under the house, and install another one, so we can continue on with our current Make The House Sellable project. They are RAPISTS, I say. I mean, we're switching two lines that currently exist, and adding a 4th one so that the whole house is wired for cable instead of just 3 rooms of it being that way. One of the cable connections in our case is a modem connection, and it's not interchangeable with the t.v. cable line. Hence the need to switch two of them, as we are moving our computer and desk into a smaller bedroom, and making the larger bedroom they currently are placed in into an actual bedroom with a bed in it. (It'll be a blow-up bed, but whatever...)

Anyway, they want to charge $34 for the one line, and then $22 for the additional lines (each!), and all they're really doing is showing up for a 1/2 hour of work to move things around and add some wires to existing things.

Fucking. Ridiculous.

But Leo wouldn't move the wires himself, and hell if I'm gonna try climbing under there to do it! (We have a crawlspace under the house where all this madness takes place. I can't fit under there, and even if I could, I wouldn't GO under there unless it was an extreme, wait. Even if an emergency called for me to crawl under the house, and I was able to get under there, I STILL wouldn't go. The house could blow up, in that case. That's just the way it is.)

Leo said he'd pay whatever it was that it cost for someone to do all this, so that's how it's breaking down. Even though I'm the one paying most of the bills right now (the new job he has doesn't pay much, but it's worth it when it comes to his exchange of contentment and happiness in his new position), it's nice to know that I don't have to deal with this one. He's gotten under the house before, but he's never gone under without absolutely needing to (like when our AC broke last year), and he's never gone in as far as he'd need to in order to get to the cable modem line, so yeah. Apparently, according to him anyway, that's where all the spiders are at. Pussy. :P (Not that I blame him, because...*shudders at the thought* YUCK!)

Ok, I'm off to get some very boring training done so as to make my boss happy, and also to set up some meetings for the same purpose, so you all have a Happy Thanksgiving, too! Priest Holmes shouldn't be the only bastard that gets my well-wishes, right? Enjoy the day!


It's an epidemic! Found this story on the main page of Yahoo! this morning.

Fuckin' 'ell...

Also, kind of along the same lines of something getting sorta old now...we have the toy recall issue. Which is now effecting donations of toys for the holidays. Ugh, could it get any more depressing?

I thought Dan had a really, really good post on this subject the other day. Actually, it spoke more about the pussification of the children that are becoming the future of this planet, but still...thought it was a good read. (Funny read for those of us who can relate. For example, we didn't have a very long grassy area in our backyard at our house where we lived until we were 10. So our slip n' slide? Was aimed down the driveway. Not necessarily a danger of us going flying into the street, but it was a steep driveway. Which made it tough to stop sliding once the slip n' slide ended. 9-year-old ass? Meet a nice rough cement driveway! Happy times...)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Quick question.

Why do typepad comments hate me so much? Is there anything I can do about it? I tried leaving a comment over here earlier today, and wound up getting a timeout error. And just now, I tried to leave a comment here, but it was taking too long with the load of the page so I gave up.


Apparently it never gets SOME people, anyway.

Shockingly, one of the top headlines on MSN this morning is a story about why Thanksgiving makes you sleepy.

Seriously. This is a story in Newsweek. Big breaking news, folks. I'll just summarize it quickly for ya...

1) The turkey has tryptophan in it...that isn't news to anyone. But apparently the fact that most of us mix it with carbs like mashed potatoes and yams (a.k.a. "high-glycemic carbohydrates") was studied more closely recently, and THAT is what causes the tryptophan to get us! Not just the simple ingestion of the's the mixing that does it. Good to know. (And, um, DUH.)

2) The second reason Thanksgiving makes us so damned sleepy is because it's a chance to relax mid-week. Fascinating.

3) Another reason for the tired feeling is...wait a minute. This one sounds suspiciously similar to the first reason. It's what they refer to as a "soporiphic combo," or the combining of high-glycemic carbs (see above for examples) all together in yo belleh approximately 4 hours prior to bedtime makes you fall asleep faster. I stand by the fact that this reason is the same fucking thing as the first reason, but worded differently. So it doesn't really count.

4) This one is a shocker, though: alcohol might have something to do with the sleepiness. I know, I was surprising to me, too, when I saw it in the article, but it's true. According to Newsweek, anyway. Wait, now that I read through this "reason" I see that it's saying to avoid alcohol and caffeine at Thanksgiving dinner because of the fact that alcohol might make you fall asleep (it acts as a "sedative" in case you were unaware), and caffeine will make it hard to sleep at night. But the alcohol will actually cause fitfull sleep, so it's not really doing you any favors, and then there's the random info thrown in about caffeine staying in some people's systems for up to 12 hours after they ingest it. Huh? Um, thanks for that tip, Newsweek? I mean, way to go on proving your point about why Thanksgiving makes us tired.

Anyway, this is never gonna get old, is it? We're always going to talk about the tryptophan and the sleepiness and the gorging ourselves on food during the holiday, aren't we? Jeezy...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Perhaps it rolled away...

Yesterday afternoon, after a nice day of chili-making and Chiefs-watching, I went to throw out the trash that needed to be taken out. I went out to the garage where the trash can usually is, and noticed that the trash can was not in it's usual place. I had been all happy on Friday when I came home from work, even, because I thought Leo had brought it in without me having to bug him about it and everything.

He came home a few minutes after I discovered the missing trash can, and I asked him what he'd done with it. (He's kind of been really interested in keeping it outside the garage lately, next to the house instead of in a convenient place like where it's been living all its life. I don't really get it, but I always get my way when it's returned to its normal spot inside the garage, so it doesn't really matter overall. But I thought maybe he'd put it back there on Friday after he got home from work.) He said he hadn't done anything with it. The last time he saw it was when he put it out for trashday on Friday morning. He then went out and looked around for it, making sure it didn't blow away and roll someplace after it had been emptied by the trash guys...but it wasn't out there.

So someone stole our fucking trash can? I mean, are ya kidding me? What the FUCK is that all about? It was pretty gross inside of it, so they can have fun with that, but still...that was our TRASH CAN. I bought that trash can when I first moved into my house 4 years ago. I went to K-Mart and then proceeded to shove the trash can into my car, after at least 12 minutes of fighting with it to get it to fit. It was much bigger than the opening my trunk afforded it to fit in, and as it was brand new, it wasn't all that willing to be squished into a narrower size for the ride home without me pushing and pushing and pushing it for a while. I toiled for that trash can! I worked hard for it. I'm pissed that this has happened.

I mean, who steals a fucking trash can, huh? Sick fucks...

Friday, November 16, 2007

It's new, baby

I pulled in a new avatar pic. It was my favorite of myself that Leo* took one night when we were getting drunk on the "free" rum they'd given us upon arrival at the hotel mixed with Coke and Diet Coke, respectively. We were playing Yahtzee, and as usual, he was kicking my ass. We took other pics as well, but you guys aren't allowed to see those. :)

Tyra would be so proud! It's all neck, baby...

On Friday night, we got a bit dressed up and went to have drinks and then dinner at the Pavilion restaurant at the hotel. As we sat in the bar, we asked one of the three bartenders to take our picture. It was dark, they said...yeah, but we showed up in the middle of it, and that's all that matters. (For those of you who wonder why I would want to have a boob reduction when I'm able to, look. Just...damn. How could you WANT to have boobs like that?)

Friday morning into early afternoon, we went on a little boat ride to a local attraction called "The Baths." It was a stunningly beautiful day, and we had ordered a picnic from the hotel to take along with us to eat after we'd explored the caves and grottos of The Baths when we'd first arrived. This is a shot from the beach after I'd finished my lunch...
The beach was mostly a big sandy hill. Leo doesn't like sitting on the ground, so he was sitting behind me on a narrow piece of wood that seemed to have no other purpose than to possibly act as the most uncomfy bench ever created. He was happy, though, so that's fine. When we'd first arrived on the beach and put our umbrella into the sand, I noticed a rustling from the nearby bushes right before a rooster popped out and wandered around by the uncomfy bench, clucking gently in my direction as it disappeared into the bushes on the other side of the bench. I thought it was a little odd, but I followed Leo off to the Devil's Bay path that winds through the grottos and caves of The Baths and forgot about it.

When we were done exploring and were ready to eat our $50 sandwiches (which, to be fair, were accompanied by mini baby bell cheeses and crackers, bags of chips, cookies, a small salad, and drinks for the both of us...but still. $50!!), we sat down in our respective resting places and started eating. The rooster magically appeared back from the bushes, and started bothering us by wandering closely and staring at us with a somewhat intense look that said, "Give me some of your food, bitches!" I just shooed it away and ignored it, kind of happy to peoplewatch as I ate my sammich and salad. Leo, however, was really bothered by the rooster. He chased it, and yelled at it, and made it very unhappy in general. No matter what, though, after Leo would sit back down once he had finished round-whatever of chasing the rooster away, the rooster would return, clucking insistently about it's need for something to eat besides bugs and worms. (If there were any worms, that is...) Leo tried to convince the rooster that it should go bug the group of girls that were sitting nearby us. But the rooster ignored that concept, and hovered near Leo, clucking away. I finally snapped this picture...

Yes, that's my finger in the picture. It was a crappy disposable camera we were using on that trip, since we didn't want to take our digital one along and risk ruining it. Plus, we only have so much room for pictures on the digital one when we can't constantly dump them on a computer, so we needed the additionl camera to get more shots. I had no idea my finger was in the way...

Anyway, the rooster liked Leo. Leo did NOT like the rooster. (Later, as we swam a bit more prior to being picked up from the beach, I noticed the rooster had finally given up on our lunch, and had gone ahead and taken Leo's advice about bugging the group of girls that had been near us on the beach. They were all in the water by then, too, but I guess they didn't pack their leftovers as well as we did. He was having a hayday when they finally went to shoo him away! Man, he was piiissssed when they did that!)

Here I am in a grotto along the Devil's Bay within The Baths. Yes, I'm aware that I look somewhat like a beached whale wearing a brown bathing suit. I don't care. The point is to show you what it was like back along the path that we were on. (Along with a gazillion other people, mind you. Leo hated that, too. He complained more than me that day, I think, which I'm sure most of our friends would be really surprised to hear!)

Visiting The Baths was probably one of my favorite parts of the trip. It was so pretty, and I had a lot of fun snorkeling and looking at all the cool fish and other things that were living on the rocks and coral that were there. I don't think Leo enjoyed it as much as I did due to the sunburn he'd obtained from swimming and snorkeling the day before on our hotel beach without having put on sunscreen first. But I'm not too sure about that...maybe he liked it well enough, but hates roosters, so that's what made it seem like he had a bad time. I dunno. Anyway, it was a cool part of the trip. Hope you enjoyed the photos! (I'll have more up another time. There were other shots we got of different parts of the Devil's Bay path we were on.)

*Just a reminder that "Hubby's" new name is "Leo." Explained better in this post from the other day.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Going green

I'm not sure how it work is always sending my computer some software "update" or another every other week...but for some reason my "My Documents" has gone green. As in, all the titles of folders and docs are all green instead of what I think usually is black. And not just a normal dark green that might be somewhat pleasing to the eye, seeing as I love the color green so much. But it's actually a putrid and somewhat florescent color of green that hurts to look at. Kinda like this. And I have a screen filter that helps tone things down for my eyes, even!

This brings up another point for me that I forgot to mention yesterday. I don't know what's happening to all my fave bloggers and all, but this whole white-font-on-a-black-background thing is starting to catch on, apparently. I liken it to a plague. Please, for the love of my retinas, or whatever part of my eye it is that does the actually reading on the screen, pass through this phase and go back to normal backgrounds with darker font! It hurts to read you! Especially when I go on vacation for a while and have a few days to catch up on all at once. And you'd think it'd be easy to just copy and paste your entries into Word (and less noticeable to the coworkers, I might add), but it's not. Because the copy is white font onto a white background. So then I have to highlight the text again, after attempting to find it all since it's invisible, and then changing it to a black font.

Please. I'm begging here. I'm on my knees, even! (I swear!)

Ok, I'm not on my knees in reality, but I am on the internet! And the floor is VERY dirty on the internet, so this is quite a sacrifice, let me assure you.

That's all for now. I'm more in the mood to read than to write today, you lucky ducks. Ta!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

For the few that may be unaware...

I crave sushi pretty well all of the time. I don't know that I love any kind of food more than I do Japanese food, and sushi tops the list of things that I would eat every day if I had to choose just 2 or 3 things to eat for the rest of my life. (The other things are spaghetti and meatballs and tomato juice. I like tomatoey things, dammit...and I need veggies, so the tom juice covers that base, I think.)

Last week, as we headed to the Island of Fun out in the middle of the Atlantic ocean somewhere, I couldn't have looked more forward to all the wonderful and fresh fish dishes that we'd be able to get our hands on. But then we got stuck in Peurrrrrto Rrrrrico for 6 hours, and by the time we actually got to our hotel on Monday night (at about 10:30 p.m. mid-Atlantic ocean time), all I wanted was FOOD. Anything would do. Fuck the fish, I would have eaten mozzarella sticks out of the microwave at that point, dammit! Fortunately, we didn't have to resort to anything that drastic though (reminder for the confused: I'm non-dairy, so eating mozz sticks might've been a really, really bad idea), as the hotel provided us with a lovely "cold platter" upon arrival that included things like cheese and crackers for the hubby as well as some cold cuts and pita triangles we both shared. They also allowed us to order from a limited selection of items from their room service menu, as we arrived too late for it to usually be allowed, but they understood our predicament (stuck! in Puerrrrrto Rrrrico for 6 hours! after having our flight delayed and delayed and then CANCELLED!) and offered us either chicken, beef, or pasta. We took the beef and the pasta and split it.

So the NEXT night, we went out to dinner. I had lobster...fresh Anegada lobster, no less. It was listed on the menu at $35, which was pretty fucking reasonable compared to the other shit they had on there. The waitress came back to the table after she had left with our order, though, and told me that the lobsters started at a pound and a half...what size would I like? I thought a pound and a half would do me just fine, so that's what I ordered. Uh-huh...turns out that $35 lobster is just a random price added on the menu for no fucking reason. They charged me $50 for my pound and a half lobster I wound up eating.

It was good, though. Which was the only thing that saved their asses. (Why didn't I say anything? I don't know. I think I might've been broken right then. I didn't snap out of it until Wednesday or so.)

The rest of the week, our fish offerings consisted of mahi mahi (which I never want to see again, thanks), red snapper, and some other fish I can't remember the name of right now, for some reason. No sushi, except for some weird type that didn't sound good to me which was offered as an appetizer at the really nice restaurant they had at the resort.

When I asked our server on Friday night if there were any sushi places or Japanese restaurants on the island, he looked confused. No Japanese, it seemed. But he did think that maybe the Chinese place on the island served sushi.

Ugh. How do they live without their sushi? How is it even possible?

Anyway, no sushi all week. And I'm craving it in the WORST WAY right now! So tonight, I'm ordering dinner from Sushi House, I'm going home to watch some Ghost Hunters and Project Runway, and I am GORGING myself on sushi as I do it. I don't care how much it costs...keep in mind that most lunches last week came to a total of over $60 for both the hubby and myself. Dinners were a minimum of $140. Must I mention the fact that I pretty well gave up on Diet Coke and had to drink iced goddam tea much of the time in order to get caffeine? Yeah, I deserve this, dammit! We have other dinners planned for ourselves all week (which we will make! In our kitchen! FOR UNDER $10!!!), but I plan on having sushi at least 2 other times as I feel the need. Yep...Sushi House is gonna get to know my ass real quick.

By the way, after a bit of discussion last night at the meetup, we have come to the conclusion that "Hubby" will now be referred to as "Leo." Lots of other suggestions were brought up, but for some reason we were all discussing birth signs, and while Kristine is a Cancer (even though she wishes she could be a Pisces), I'm an Aquarius, and The D is a Scorpio (go wish him a happy birthday, y'all!), the hubby is a Leo. So we all decided to call him Leo! So that Waldo will be happy now! (I'll remind about this change in future posts, so people who don't read to the bottom of this one aren't too confused.)

Right now, I must run. Nature's a-callin', and so is my Outlook inbox. Glad to be back! Hope everyone is having a good week...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Only the beginning...

To answer Alisha's question about the kid-going-to-the-bathroom-alone poll in the last post, yes, there was something specific that brought that on. There were many sundry and random folks at the resort with us, many of which you'll be hearing about throughout the next couple of weeks, I'd imagine. But on Sunday night, as "Hubby" and I were eating dinner at the Pavilion restaurant, which was the main dining room area for the resort, we were seated near an odd family that had been seated near us a couple of nights before. I found great pleasure in making fun of one of their kids, since he was really fond of coughing without covering his fucking mouth. In fact, as I sat and watched football in the activities room on Saturday, the mother and two of her boys (there were 3 total with them at dinner each time, so I don't know what she'd done with the 3rd one) came through looking at the board games and books they made available for the guests to borrow while they were staying at the resort. At one point, the mother and one of the sons disappeared, and the oldest boy (the cougher) was left alone with me in the activities room. He was coughing all over the damned place, and I finally said, "Child, cover your mouth when you cough!" He looked at me with a blank look on his face (I'm used to it...I get it a lot), and then turned to the television as though suddenly enthralled with the Ohio State whooping that was taking place at that point in time. He didn't respond in any other way, and finally wandered off to find his mother, I suppose.

My comment did not help, I noticed. Oh well!

Anyway, on Sunday night, I stepped away from dinner to use the ladies' room that wasn't more than maybe 50 feet from where our table was at, and when I was washing my hands, in walked this mother and her oldest boy. She told him to go into the stall right next to hers (as if he had any choice...there were only two stalls in the restroom, for fuck's sake), and I left trying not to laugh too hard at what I'd just seen.

This boy had to have been no younger than 8 or 9. And, as mentioned in the poll from Sunday night, there were no less than two adult men eating dinner at the table with them. At a table no more than 50 feet from the restroom.

What. The. FUCK?

I just thought it was odd, and had a good time making fun of it with Hubby when I returned to the table afterwards. BUT, in our defense, we were really rather bored by Sunday, and it was so fucking hot all the time. So, sooo hot. So making fun of people was really all we had.

Did I mention we didn't have a t.v. in our room? Yep. Alllll weeeek loooong. No t.v. Awesome. (Apparently the island folk think that in order to properly relax, you can't have a t.v. in your room. They're broken, it seems. Someone needs to fix them, I think...)

Anyway, that's what brought the poll on, so thanks to those of you that answered. Believe me, I understand when there's no other choice but to help the little ones out when you're a dad out with your daughter, or a mom out with her son. In fact, I helped a little girl out not too long ago in a Borders restroom...she had to have been about 5 or 6, and she was washing and washing and washing her hands...she liked all the bubbles. Cute little thing! She started talking to me and said I reminded her of one of her mommy's friends. One of her pretty friends, no less. Her dad was standing outside the bathroom, and I could hear him asking if she was all done yet...I poked my head out and said I'd do what I could to help her finish up. We got her hands dried and then walked out to reunite them. He was appreciative...I told him she was adorable, and I was happy to help. Anyway, that was normal to me. This woman with her almost pre-teen son in the bathroom at the resort? Not normal to me. So I thought I'd check and see where I stood.

So. We were quite ready to leave by the time yesterday morning came along. How ready? Lookie!

Yeah, there was a woman that was crying sitting across from me on the boat. She said to the neighbor of ours that happened to be leaving on the same boat for the airport, "If you don't shed a tear, then there's something wrong with you!" I responded by taking this picture. Some people liked the place more than we did, I guess. Nothing wrong with the weather, the snorkling, and the peoplewatching in general. In fact, we made a few friends along the way here and there that were nice to hang out with. But the heat rash, the sunburn, the exhorbitantly priced food that apparently was NOT just resort-related made the trip almost intolerable. At least the rash didn't show up until Saturday morning, really. I'm still trying to make it go away. And Hubby's sunburned back is just at the itchy stage now...we're going to get some Aveeno lotion when we're out later at the store, and hopefully our skin will be back to completely normal stage within a couple of days.

To be fair, the place was beautiful...

That was a picture of the beach as we left it.

Our room was nice, too. (T.V.-less, but still nice...) The "king sized" bed was actually two full beds shoved together (!!!), and was too short for Hubby's long legs, but it was comfy all the same.

There was a sitting area right by the window/door to the beach that we spent a lot of time at playing Yahtzee and drinking. As you can see, we made ourselves at home pretty quickly...
And then there was a desk area with a hidden mini-fridge in it that I didn't know existed until around Wednesday...oh, and that was a walk-in closet that Hubby is posing up against. That was pretty sweet to have for our use...
All in all, a good vacation. Might've been better if we'd only spent 4 days there, but hind site is 20/20! We won't be returning, we don't think. I'll explain more later this week. Now I have to finish my grocery list and hang out with our dog that I missed more than I can say! Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Little boys/Little girls

Ok, poll for y'all on a Sunday night/Monday morning...

What is the age you stop dragging the kid with you to the bathroom, be they a boy or a girl?*

8? 9? 10, perhaps?

Ok, how about THIS aspect of the poll: you're a mom, and your little boy wants to go to the bathroom. There are two adult men at the table with you at the restaurant/random public place you happen to be in at the time. Do you:

(a) Take your little boy to the restroom with you, and tell him that you'll be in the stall right next to him?
(b) Ask one of the men at the table to help you out, seeing as they're available, and all?

This works intergender of dads who have little girls out there, give me your input, please.

*This excludes the super sketchy places you might be...hell, even I take a friend when I'm feeling like backup is necessary! We're talking about perfectly normal, bathroom no more than 50 feet from the table restrooms here.

Probably not a popular opinion...

Ok, I'm tired of this place. Ready to go home 2 days ago, now the vacation seems more like torture as I've broken out in a lovely rash on my chest and the upper part of the back of my arms, the Masshole family seems to follow us everywhere, and the prices have finally made my brain start to split in half. I can't get past the feeling that we're being taken advantage of. Perhaps its a curse that comes from living in the central part of the US in beautiful and faboolous Kansas City, but when I'm paying $4.38 PER DIET COKE (um, that's a 12 oz can, mind ya) after service charges and everything are added on, I guess I just feel like someone might be trying to slowly pound me in the ass day after day. (Island time, they call it...everything here is done slowly. Even pounding the guests in the ass.)

Sorry for the delay on the stories. I'm just not in the mood. (Which sucks.)

Oh, and to be clear, the Hubby did NOT pee in the bed. He started to pee, but woke up and stopped himself from doing so. It was a dream thing, you know? I'll explain more later.

We'll have a contest on what his new name should be when I get back next week. Feel free to post ideas in the comments or send me an email (for those unaware of how to do that, go to my profile and click on the "email" link. Fancy!) and I'll get on that by Thursday, I'd imagine.

GOD, I cannot wait to go home! Jeezy...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Well, here we are!

Ok, so we're on our honeymoon. LOADS of stories to come in the near future, not limited to the following subjects:

  • The trip through customs in Tortolla
  • The bugs
  • The wait for a plane that actually worked in Peurrrrto Rrrrrico
  • More bugs
  • Pictures of some amazing views
  • The question of what was it that finished off our dinner as it sat on the porch of our villa on Monday night while we slept
  • Hubby peeing in the bed

And many more!

The trip here was NOT FUN. But everything since then has been quite a lovely time. Hubby was in a pisser of a mood last night, but considering the fact that that's what he has to deal with, oohh, 75 hours of the week when it comes to living with me, I figure I deserved a good 3 hours of a mood that wasn't up to par with what I'm used to. Tonight, we had a sunset cruise with appetizers and drinks that went part of the way around the island, and now we're killing time in the common area by blogging/watching Seinfeld. (Did I mention there isn't a t.v. in our room?'s like we're living on a foreign planet.)

It feels like SUCH a relief to blog a bit! Maybe that says something about me...I'm not sure what. But I miss you all! In the meantime, Twin is blogging regularly over at her blog (which I can't remember the name of right now...too many rum punches, dammit!), which you can find your way to through any of her lovely comments she leaves on posts just like this one! (Cue Twin's comments...)

Now, of course I won't be able to upload (shit...something just bit me on the face. Not kidding...) photos until our return, so keep your eyes peeled next Tuesday, and you'll get a visual trip through our vacation as well. It's worth it, believe me.

More tomorrow, I'm sure! If I don't get around to it tomorrow (it'd surprise me), then I'll definitely tell a story on Friday. Just you wait!

Happy mid-week, all!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Not exactly...

Ok, it didn't turn out as I'd hoped it might. I think my hairdresser and I had very different ideas of what made up the hairdo that I was looking to have. It's going to take some getting used to, that's for sure. She put a shit ton of layers in, and after washing it tonight and then drying it, it's become very apparent that I won't be able to just scrunch it and go any more at all. The curling iron will always have to be in play. (Although I'm hoping I can find a curler set that might make things easier down the road. Both places I checked yesterday didn't have a very good selection when it came to curler sets. I might have to go back to the old stand-by of a pillow case ripped into strips that I then create a curled look with by tying it into my hair at night and sleeping on it. That won't work well when I go back to working out regularly, though. I dunno...)

Here's what it looked like when I got home yesterday...

Yeah, it's cute, but I can't stand the bangs. They bug the shit out of me, so I'm gonna have to pin them up every day. Its fine, though...creates texture and makes it easier to pin up than it would be if they were longer.

I'm not gonna do this one again, though. I need my hair more of a uniform length, dammit.

We're off on the honeymoon bright and early tomorrow. (Well, we need to leave the house at 4 a.m., so maybe not so "bright" as just "early" I guess.) Have a fun week, everyone!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Just an FYI...

I'm getting my hair cut today. I've been trying to find the photos that I printed out a month or so ago in order to show y'all what it is that I'm aiming to do, but I couldn't find them! I have them printed though, thank God. These looks are similar, though...(all courtesy of Vic's Secret. I cut out the good stuff...sorry!)

This one show it best, I think...
Anyway, wish me luck! I've been excited about this for a while now, and I can't wait to see how it turns out! Bye bye boring soccer mom hair!!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Consideration, please?

I just returned from the ladies' room. A.k.a. my greatest source of inspiration for most of my blog writing...

My favorite stall was marred with a toilet seat cover that hadn't flushed after the last person who was in there had used it. This bothers me on many levels, and let me explain a couple of them...

First, let me say that I don't like seeing any remnants of the last person who was in the stall before me still hanging out in there after they've left. Call me John Cage, but I like me a fresh bowl. Believe me, I go through some serious efforts (don't ask) to make sure that no remnants of my business are left behind after I leave, and I just ask the same courtesy of others sharing the space with me, ok?

Second, let's not even discuss the fact that this person who put the toilet seat cover down was probably on her fucking cell phone while she was in there, too. Because it seems to follow that people who think they are being careful with their health and shit do not realize where the germs actually come from.

Third, about those germs. Yeah, anyone even realize that their kitchen sink is more germ covered than even their bathroom floor might be? Just check out the list that provides for ya, and let me know if you think its such a big deal to cover that seat before you put your ASS on it ever again. (If you're on an airplane, go right ahead and use them...but according to the list, the seat is the least of your worries in there, though.) I find it interesting that most people who use toilet seat covers probably don't think twice about how germy their office phone is, or who the hell touched the ATM buttons before they did the last time they visited it.

So please, toilet seat cover all the rest of us a favor and just make sure that everything goes down the next time you're finished. Blech...

In related news, we're having a pot luck here at my office on the last day of my vacation as a celebration of Fall. (It's kind of about Thanksgiving, but we can't relate it to it for some political reason, so it's just about the Fall, apparently...) One of my coworkers is anti-pot lucks due to the germ issues she has with them...all that food from other peoples' houses! GASP! So gross, apparently, for her.

Her boss was the one that told me about that. I told him, "I find it ironic that a woman who literally takes her cell phone everywhere with her, including into the ladies' room, has such an issue with germs at a pot luck. But whatever!" I mean, if she doesn't want to participate, that's fine. But don't give us some bullshit story about germs being the reason why, dumbass. I wish I could participate, but like I said, it's the last day of my vacation, dammit...the other admins will be out on the date that we originally discussed, so I'm ass out on this one, for some reason. Jerks. :P

On that note, it's lunch time! See ya...

Not yet not yet not yet not yet...

It seems that several remote managers seem to think I'm already on vacation, or something, and have been asking other admins from other teams to do my work for me while I'm "out."

First of all, if I could already be on vacation, I would. But I can't because I don't have enough days to use in covering extra time off. Hell, I'll be borrowing from next year already when dad goes in for his transplant surgery (hopefully soon), so my vacation days are a precious commodity to me!

Secondly, it is very frustrating to see these emails start flying back and forth as though I'm not here to deal with issues that I am, indeed, very here to do and very happy to complete! Why these emails even started flying is beyond me. I responded to a manager's email this morning that he had sent me last night, he then forwarded that on to another admin and some other people (didn't include me, though) saying that I had already left for my honeymoon (huh?) and asked this other person to do something I had already asked her to do yesterday.


If you want to know how to piss off an admin, go ahead and go around her on her job. BUT! Include her in the email string so she can SEE that you're going around her, and is getting the added benefit of dealing with a bunch of extra emails clogging her inbox at the same time!

Thing is, I love this manager. He's one of my faves. And I know that what he was doing was trying to make things easier on me, which is just so sweet it makes my mouth hurt.

But its still frustrating. Because I'm right here. Getting shit done. And having to deal with clearing things up about me being on vacation or not being on vacation and all that good stuff? Not helping with my last day before I actually, in fact, go on vacation.

Happy Friday? Uh-huh...

Thursday, November 01, 2007


People are sending me the pics they have of the wedding! So exciting! (And just so everyone knows, I have received photos of people other than just me and Hubby, and the bridal party, but I want to be sure that I don't post photos of my family out here since some are kind of sensitive about what it posted on the internet for all the world to see. They're smarter than I am, is the thing. :))

Ok, so as my bridal party and I descended on the hotel lobby, my brother happened to be near by and snapped a couple of photos. I liked this one, because all my girls are facing the camera. And my bruise makes my arm look more defined in this photo rather than just looking like a bruised and fucked up arm. (Albeit the definition of the muscle would be pretty fucked up itself if it actually was definition of muscle showing, but hey...just trying to put a positive spin on things.) The rather random-looking chick in black in the center-right of the photo is my friend Alisha's sister-in-law. She rode along with the girls in the limo to the church!

Here I am looking all hot outside the limo while we worked on getting our asses into it. I want to mention that I specifically requested black limos for the day, and when I saw that we had a white one to transport us to the church (one that was beat up and not even clean in the doorway so our dresses were all in danger of getting a bit soiled as we climbed in and out, no less), I didn't freak out at all. I just wanted to get to the church on time, baby!
Here I am with my dad as he walks me down the aisle to the alter where my faboolous Hubby awaited me. Can you believe my bouquet was supposed to be even BIGGER than that? It was. I paid a lot of money for that bouquet and it wasn't even half the size I expected it to be. (And yet it still managed to weigh a good 5 pounds...) It was very pretty, though...
Ah, here we can see the crazy clown makeup a bit better than in the other photos. I think it's all about the flash. This is me and Hubby walking down the aisle post-mass. Wow...those roses on the edge of the bouquet really were much peachier than I realized, too. Fuck. (It was supposed to be white roses in the center and off-white or ivory roses on the outer edge. Hmm....)
And here we are at the cocktail reception, drinks in hand and smiles on faces. I don't even remember taking this picture!
Ok, more to come as the days pass, I'm sure. Hope you guys aren't weddinged out yet!

You'll have to excuse me...

I'm's hard to think about much of anything else when I have images like this floating through my head almost all day long...

3 and a half more days, muthafuckas! How am I gonna keep it together until then? Sheeiit...
Also, do I take my laptop along or leave it at home? I'm leaning towards leaving it, not only because its heavy and a pain in the ass to bring with, but also because it technically belongs to work. So, yeah. If something happened to it, I'd be hard-pressed to forgive myself. But I'd love to blog from the BVIs if I can, too. I'm sure the hotel has a computer in it somewhere that I could use for just that purpose whenever I care to, but it'd be so much more rewarding to be able to blog from the balcony of the hotel room instead of some random computer in a room somewhere around the lobby.
Ok, back to my attempts to think about work. Wish me luck!