Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I LOVE refinancing!

I don't have to pay my mortgage until July, thanks to the way the paydown on the loan will go, and all. Woo!

Question for the more intelligents of those of you** out there who might've dealt with this sorta thing in the past, though:

I currently hold the title on my home in just my name, seeing as I bought it before I met Leo and married him. It would be my preference to not involve in him any way on something that might effect credit, as he's still working on establishing and building better credit at this point in his life. So he's not on the loan. Just me, which makes things easier overall.

But the title...should I have him added to it? No one likes to think of the two "d" words when they're in the merriment that is the newlywed period, I'm sure, but it's always a distinct possibility that (a) I could die or (b) he could get really, really tired of my shenanegans at some point and want out of this marriage. (I personally think he's just too easy going for that. In which case, he could just snap at some point and bust my head with a brick while I sleep...which brings us right back to letter a anyway...)

Right now, I don't have a will. I want to wait a bit to put one together for personal reasons.

So is it smart to have him added to the title? Will it just burden him with an expense he might not be able to handle if I should pass for some reason? Should I not worry about these sorts of things and just continue on in the merriment that is the newlywed period?

Help me, smrt peeple. Help me!

**Or the less guys can be entertaining!

If it weren't for the spam...

Word verification via blogspot blogs have been hateful lately. The letters are all run together in a mishmosh that's just about impossible to read, and I inevitably have to retype the verifyer twice in order to post comments.

I don't like it when things are made more difficult for me, people. Why are the spammers so drawn to ya anyway? I don't have any problems with it! And I'm very popular. (Seriously. I think I get at least 8 hits a day...and that's not all from my own computer, either!)

Its just one more thing I wish we could do away with, like the exchange of money for goods and services, and hair in places it really isn't needed anymore.

Bravo, Ms. Moneypenny!

Spyder kicks ass. She brilliantly came up with the idea to create a Kansas City Blogger blogspot blog (blogblogblogblog) that basically links to all local KC blogs. I mean, I have a few of them on my roll, but not all of them. And there are a LOT of bloggers in this town, dammit!

Anywho, looks like a place where blogger meet-up info will be posted (but that's really just conjecture on my part right now, so don't quote me on it), and where you can go to basically get a link to any local blogger you might need. But as Tony mentioned in the comments on the only post there right now, it probably will not be similar to the KC Bloggers blog that used to be run by Patrick and Sheri (I don't know what her current blog incarnation is, so I can't link her!) oh so long ago. We all have our own blogs to discuss KC issues in. We don't really need another one, do we? Yeah, didn't think so...

So go and check it out! And if Spyder is missing your link, let her know! She doesn't bite...unless you want her to. ;)

Monday, April 28, 2008

Time to celebrate!

The appraisal came back at $150,000.

I'm ready to cry. But this time, it'd be happy tears. :)

Well that's sick and disgusting.

I'm sure many have already read the story about the asshole in Austria that imprisoned his daughter in the basement of their family home, and then impregnated her with 7 children (one of which died soon after it was born, so he tossed it into the incinerator...) while she was held captive there.

Her mother didn't know she was there or what has happening, or so the story says.

But apparently 3 of the children that were born were being raised above ground by her and her husband. (The article says that they were living with their grandparents. I guess I just assumed they mean the dirty, disgusting man and his stupid, stupid wife, but maybe I'm wrong about that?) If they were raising the kids as their own, didn't the mother question at all where those children came from? I mean, did the sick, twisted dad just bring them home and say, "Hey, look what they were handing out at work again today!"

I don't get it.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I hate blogging from home...

Anyone else think that maybe Target should have found a more full figured model to model their plus sized "swim pants" here?

Unless, of course, they're supposed to look like diaper covers. In which case, end-result definitely achieved, wouldn't ya say?

Being a big girl is just so fucking hard...I'm considering looking into Alli. Hey! Maybe those swim shorts would come in handy in that case, then!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Not quite what I expected...

Boobie Cake!

Boobie Cake WITH Added Nips!
So the meetup was a lot of fun, as usual. I love our bloggy, twittery-twattery, silly-ass friends, I really do. You guys are all awesome. (And the D wasn't even there to add to the awesome quotient last night! THAT is how fun this group is...we can carry ourselves in awesome fashion even when the D isn't there. Bless our hearts.) The boobie cake was delicious, and all the best to you, sista, as you prep for your new body-to-be. Can't wait to see you post-op!

I've had a rough week, more or less. A phone call discussion on Monday and some paperwork signing on Tuesday for the loan on the house has left me feeling deflated and disgusted with myself, and I'm not exactly sure why. A 2 hour meeting on Wednesday with the contractor (and Mr. Electric, the electrician who will be on our project) scared me a bit. And then when I got back to the office, I got a call from the appraiser for the loan. We made an appointment to meet yesterday.

So I got home about 5 minutes before she was due to arrive. I had to run run run around the house to try to clean things up as best I could (make the bed, stuff all Leo's things into his closet so his room wasn't too disaster-related, try to clean up the coffee table in the living room...), and then just as I went to open the blinds on the door, I see that Izzy has been sick all morning, an there is shit. everywhere.


So I run to get paper towels just as the appraiser knocks on the front door. I'm ready to cry, its such a mess, and all I can do is scream over the din of the goddam dogs barking, "Just a minute!" And then mutter, "Oh God, oh God, oh God...why? Why now? Why TODAY? Goddammit!" as I try to clean up the shit all over the floor and welcome mat inside the front door.

Thank goodness the lawn got mowed on Wednesday afternoon! The outside of the house looked great. Leo just did some nice landscaping over the weekend that made the mid-yard between our house and our neighbor look much more presentable, and our lawn looks fucking awesome right now. Couldn't be better, really. So I finally open the door a bit and apologize to the girl, and she asks if she can take pictures of the back of the house, and I tell her of course. That gave me time to spray some cleaner on the spot where Izzy poo'd on the rug, hopefully helping with the lovely smell that had been released when I cleaned up the piles and puddles.

Anyway, she did her thing...measured, looked around, dealt heroically with the dogs (Izzy barks the entire time a stranger is in the house, while Jake tries to mate with their leg...), as I followed her around telling her about the upgrades I've made..."That's a new garage door opener we just had installed last month, and the door was one of the first things I replaced on the house when I moved in. The A/C and heater are new as of last spring. Bathroom was remodelled - new tub, new toilet, new subfloor...everything - in 2005. We were going to refinish the floors when we were planning on selling, but now that the addition is our plan, we won't do that until after we're done with the construction."

And she was done faster than I could say "boo." The house is easy, she says, because it's basically one big box. She asked about the roof, and I tell her it must be about 15 years old because it was 10 years old when I moved in. It's in good shape.

I forget to tell her about how we replaced all the windows over the past 2 years. So after heating up lunch, I call her and tell her about that. She tells me to let her know if I remember anything else.

And I just remembered I totally forgot about the driveway. My goddammed $3000 driveway I had installed. Mutherfucker. It's probably too late now. She said the underwriter would be done reviewing everything by last night, or today.

Anyway, I really, really, really need the house to be valued at $150,000. Minimum. I'm so afraid it won't be! And it's so stupid that I'm afraid. It really is. I need to get over it, dammit.

I just wish I could talk to my dad about this. I want to talk to him and hear him tell me that I'm doing ok, and I'm not a loser for only being able to afford a loan for $120,000.

I just am hating me right now. I wish I could have more boob...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Today I some boob cake.

A few months back, Leo and I were shopping at Target (like ya do...), and I don't know why, but we were in the card section. I happened upon this little nugget while we were perusing the cards and stationary...

It's a "Today I Feel..." magnet board. And I just loooove it. I've got it posted at my desk to warn anyone who happens to be interested in knowing before they approach me.

Let's be honest, though. Anyone really think it moves much from it's current "Bitchy" position on a regular basis? people know me too well.

I love the way Bitchy looks, anyway. I also love Bored and Naughty. But those aren't exactly safe feelings to let on to at work, right? So I rarely move the monitor to those positions.

I wish I could just carry one around my neck all the time. To help the world around me be a more beautiful and, well, non-bothersome place.

I wish I could put the monitor on Ecstatic all the time, but c'mon! Living in the real world here! Not in a lovely summer home in the Hamptons, you blond bitch you!

Anyway, everyone should have one of these things. They really are coolio.

GodDAMMIT, I'm tired of my sticky keyboard! UGH!

Inspired by "defending organic" at Pensive's...

Last week’s bout with the flu, or whateverthefuckitwas, really put me into a bind. In more ways than one. It was uncomfy, and I was unhappy, and I hate being unhappy.

So when I felt pretty well recovered by Wednesday that was a good feeling. I was still being careful about what I ate, and I was trying to avoid Diet Coke, but I was able to eat food again without cramping up.

Thursday, I was really tired in the morning, and felt much, much better in the belleh. So I decided to get a Diet Coke from the machine. All was well.

I had another one that afternoon, and then two on Friday as per usual.

On Saturday morning, I had breakfast and the last of the 2 liter of Diet Pepsi w/ Lime that was in the fridge. Everything seemed ok…I had a hair appointment at 11, so I hopped in the shower around 9:30 and got cleaned up. Pretty soon after my shower, I started feeling really, really shitty again. I almost thought about cancelling my hair appointment, but my hair looked too crappy. I couldn’t do it! So I sucked it up, and went to the hair dresser.

While I was there, I had some water. I had asked for a Diet Coke when I got there, and they asked me if I wanted anything, but they only had Coke Zero. And I hate that shit. (Splenda is the work of the devil.) So water it was! And I felt better after a while. Started looking forward to getting lunch, in fact.

And that was when it hit me. I need to quit diet soda. I hate that I have to do it, but if it’s going to make me feel sick, then I have no choice.

I stopped at the store on the way home to grab some lunch stuff (meatless tacos…I was on a taco kick last week, and what better way to do them than with meatless ground soy product? That’s right!), and I also made my way to the tea aisle and spent some time finding some teas I could make into iced tea at home. I need the caffeine…I want the caffeine. For now, caffeine is still my friend. But the chemicals and stuff in diet soda is NOT.

So I’ve been drinking green and black teas since Saturday afternoon, and you know what? I feel really good. I’m not tired throughout the day, and my stomach has been a happy camper all week…it’s nice. And the shitting? Man, don’t get me started on the shitting. I just read today that green tea can act as a natural colon cleanser. Yep! Appears to be working!

My trainer is back to his old habit of trying to kill me, though. Dick. If it weren’t for working out, I’d feel great! Stupid fucking fat ass…

So let me know if you’ve experienced anything like this, will ya? The Twin gave up diet sodas a while back because of the way they were making her feel, too. So is it an age thing, do you think? Or would we both have made it a few more years with drinking it if we hadn’t had so much of the stuff throughout our 20’s? What? I don’t understand. I’ll miss it. But I DO love tea…

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Testing on my guinea pig friends...

All, I just created my wedding "bio" with the pro pics that my photog sent me to use. Can you check it out and see if you can view all the pictures ok, and let me know what you think? I just want to make sure that the photos aren't all too huge for everyone to be able to view, and to get an idea of what you think about it. (Plus, you get to finally see some pro photos from the wedding! Aren't you excited? Yeah, thought so...)

Thanks for the help!

Anyone wanna help this poor, stupid woman?

Seriously, how do people fall for this shit?

From Miss jane Kamara.
Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire.
West Africa.
Avenue 12 Rue Reine Abla Poku,12 Bp 7854 Abj 12, Cote D'Ivoire.

Dearest one,
It is my pleasure to write you after consideration, since I can not be able to see you face to face, at first, please I need your help. I am Miss Jane Kamara, the only Daughter of late Mr & Mrs Richard Kamara, from Cote D'Ivoire. (I am 22years of age.) My father was a liability Cocoa and Gold merchant in Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire before his untimely death. After his business trip to Tunisia, to nagociate on a cocoa and gold business he wanted to invest in Tunisia, a week after he came back from Tunisia, he got an accident with my mother of which my mother died instantly but my father died five days after in a private hospital. On that faithful afternoon, I didn t know that my father was going to leave me after I had earlier lost my mother, but before he gave up the ghost, it was as if he knew he was going to die. He my father, (MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE) he called me to his bed side and told me that he deposited the sum of ($12,500,000.00) Twelve Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars in a bank here in Cote D'Ivoire.

That the money was meant for his cocoa and Gold business he wanted to establish in Tunisia, according to my father he deposited the money in a fixed suspense account using my name as the next of kin, He instructed me to seek for a reliable and trust worthy business partner for my life time investment abroad. Now I have succeeded in locating the deposit documents and the bank where this money is here in Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire. Due to war in my country Cote D'Ivoire., I am now seeking for your assistance to help me transfer this money out from my country Cote D'Ivoire to your account abroad so that we should invest it in any meaningful and lucrative business in your country because this is my only hope in life. I am willing to offer you 15% of the total fund if only you can help me out of my present predicame.

I seek your assistance in the follwing ways:
(1.) To provide a bank account where this money can be transfered into.(2.) To make arrangements for me to come over to your country after the successful transfering of this money into your account, to come and further my education.(3.) To help invest this money in a profitable business since I am only 22yrs of age and do not know much about business. (4) To sponsor me transfer this money into your account,(5). I want you to promise me that you are not going to betray me after the money gets into your account.

The worst part of it is that my uncle is trying to kill me over this money because I refused to hand him over the documents covering this money, He has sold all my father's landed properties including his cars which rightful belong to me and now he want me to hand over the banking document of my father in my possesion which I refused. Now he said that he will have this money by all means even if it means killing me, so because of this I ran away from home and hide in a hotel, pending when this money will be transfered so that I can leave the country for my safty.

Please reply
Thank's and God bless you. Yours sincerely,
Miss jane Kamara

Ok, the uncle trying to kill her is a new twist I hadn't seen yet. But I have to say that if the name of her country was mentioned one more time, I was going to scream.

Why, in the name of all things holy and good, including her father's soul "[RESTING] IN PERFECT PEACE," (no need to shout, Jane, for chrissake...) would she not just leave the country if she has all that cash? And then try to work out a way to transfer it herself once she gets someplace safe, away from her evil uncle and war-torn country? Dumbass.

Oh, maybe that's why she wants to further her education once she arrives someplace safe, huh? Also, half of the letter is written in perfectly fine English, and then other parts are written all randomly and stupid. Like the apostrophe in "Thank's" in her sign off. WTF? And the whole reason #4 for wanting help, "To sponsor me transfer this money into your account," makes absolutely no sense at all. Not in context, anyway.

I don't get how people fall for this shit, really. It's the first one I've received in a gazillion years, so at least they don't reach me often. But honestly, I'm gonna buy a ticket for the Powerball drawing tonight, and call it a week when it comes to my attempts to acquire my millions, mkay? Sorry Jane...hope your uncle doen't catch up witcha...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

And Boys. Like. Me. Too...

I hate birds. I’ve hated them for a long while now, but really…I cannot stand the fuckers. Spring time really brings out the latent hate I harbor for them deep within my fiery belleh, as they stay pretty quiet throughout winter. Also, the fact that I open windows to the house in Spring makes their presence that much more obvious.

God, I just couldn’t hate birds more than I do.

Jake’s presence in the home goes in and out of loveable ball of fur to intolerable beastly spawn of Satan. Yesterday, he was being all cute and hopped up on the couch next to me for me to pet his belly. Then he suddenly turned over, and sprung at my face for what I thought was a lick or two, but in actuality was what he apparently thought was his time to bite me. He did it twice before I could stop him. Dick.

When he isn’t biting my face unexpectedly, or lighting small campfires in the area next to the couch behind the ottoman, he’s pretty fucking cute. I call those times “sleepy times” because, really…ain’t nothin’ better than a sleepin’ Jake.

So he’s kind of running a thin line of joining those birds in their place within my heart. I cannot wait to snip him. WOO!

Over the weekend, Leo and I joined a friend of ours from the Moose for an outing to the Brigade game at the Sprint Center. It was only $17 each, and I’d been wanting to see the place and figure out what was so bad about the parking situation down there and everything, and then possibly head out to grab a bite in the P&L district after the game.

Ok, first of all, the parking was, indeed, as atrocious as some people have made it out to be. I couldn’t believe it…we had to park 2 WHOLE BLOCKS away from the stadium. For $10! Ten. Dollars, people. Highway robbery, for sure! The lot we were in was so packed, it took us a full 30 seconds to find a parking spot, and then we had to go down a flight of stairs to get to the street. Can you believe that malarkey? I cannot understand why we citizens of this fair Kansas City would allow such an outrageous and ridiculous situation to perpetuate itself. We should petition for an immediate removal of the Sprint Center and P&L District to a place more convenient. Like around the Plaza somewhere. I mean, the parking there is SO MUCH better and more tolerable, really.

So after our ridiculously long 2 block trek to the stadium, we joined our friend, then met another friend that was joining the group to watch the game, and we went inside. Ok, the stadium is pretty cool. My only complaint, as a chick with a big rack and ass, is that the seats are a bit narrow. Especially when placed next to a big guy? I was squishing the girls together for an extra special cleavage show for most of the game. But we had a lot of fun. I had prepared myself for what I was referring to as “reject cheerleaders” since everyone had told me that was all the Brigade games were good for, really…watching the cheerleaders. And what kind of cheerleaders are a part of a squad that cheers for such a SUCKY team in a semi-pro sport? That’s right…the ones that didn’t make it as a Chiefs cheerleader, or a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader, or whatever. But we were in the end that had the ones doing all the twirly moves, and standing on guys’ hands and shit. So that was fun to watch. I like balancing acts. We took turns guessing how much the cheerleaders weighed (most thought they couldn’t be more than 100 pounds, but we weren’t sure, really…), and I took some pictures with my fantastically horrible camera in my phone…

(She was a skinny little thing!)
(...who could put her leg next to her head! Impressive.)
(Her friend liked to do other things with her leg...her balance wasn't as good as the skinny chick, it seemed. Maybe she should lose 10 pounds.)

Anyway, it was the first game of the year that the Brigade actually won, and don’t think that Leo and I won’t take some of the credit for that. We were cheering very enthusiastically for them between sips of beer, dammit.

It was a good time. We left just before the game ended to head on our tenth of a mile hike back to the evil parking garage, and then went and had dumplings at Blue Koi, ‘cause we been in the mood and it was time to feed the beast, dammit.

I don’t know that we’ll return to another game soon…part of the allure was the group we were with. They wound up being a LOT of fun. But the place was nice. And if we had the opportunity to go again, we’d strongly consider it.

That continued a social trend for Leo and I for two weeks running. With the blogger meetup that’s happening this week (at the Levee on Thursday this week…be there or be mocked!), we’re turning in our social feathered caps, and returning to our normally scheduled hermitdome by getting back to spending time at the Moose this coming weekend. Next weekend is the trip to Indiana for Leo’s little brother’s college graduation. We’re looking forward to the time off, and hopefully to getting the construction on the house started that week as well. Wish us luck! I really can’t wait.

I don’t know how to end this post. So I’ll just share another picture with you from the random backfiles on my computer. Enjoy…
(That would be me...eating a pea. I like peas...)

Monday, April 21, 2008

I thought I was addicted. Now...maybe not.

After a visit to Chilis' for lunch yesterday afternoon, I seriously thought I might have a problem with an addiction to their honey lime dressing (which I had on my grilled Carribean salad...highly reccommend it - it was yummy in ways I hadn't experienced in a while). I wanted to drink the leftover dressing, it was so delicious! But I didn't. I did eat every last bite of the salad that I thought was palatable, though. (A couple of pieces of lettuce let me down...they were browing on the edges, and I just can't eat lettuce that looks like that.)

So today, I'm craving the salad. But I don't wanna leave the office, and I brought a bowl of split pea soup (made from scratch for dinner last night) for lunch, anyway. So I wound up going over to the cafeteria and making a salad and grabbing some plain ol' honey mustard dressing to go with it.

And now the craving is gone. I wish I hadn't had it in the first place, actually. Blech.

I hate it when plain ol' dressings go and ruin it for all the rest of the really delicious ones in the world like that.

Disturbing phenomenon discovered while out and about in Merriam, KS on a Sunday afternoon: girls in short shorts. There was a chick at Chili's who, when she stood up, had to pull her shorts down a bit because they were like a terry cloth material, and they'd rolled up a bit as she sat there. I'm not kidding when I say that I thought for a second that she was wearing her underwear and nothing else until she rolled them down. And even then, I was still offended. The shorts were really short! I don't care if you have the body to wear certain current fashions (like the short shorts/skirts that are coming back into style right now)...there are appropriate places for them, and that boundary usually doesn't extend past your backyard. Maybe the beach. But last I checked, Merriam wasn't exactly considered to be ocean front in any way.

A visit to Target after lunch showed me that it is FULL of the shortness right now, though. Short shorts. Short skirts. I mean really short skirts. It's something I used to do back when I was in my 20's and was able to pull it off. And it's not a jealous thing, really, because I honestly don't know what I was thinking with some of the shit I wore when I could do it back's just a question of why we need to go to such an extreme? I don't understand the need for it.


I'm just glad my desire for the dressing has been kicked to the curb. I just looked at the calorie content for the stuff and let me say that I am very glad that I didn't drink the other ounce that was left in the cruette on the table! (Chili's seems to be serving all their salads with the dressing on the side without you having to ask lately, to which I say bravo!)

Other shit happened over the weekend, but I gotta get back to work now. So you'll just have to wait until later/tomorrow to hear about it all. Ta!

Friday, April 18, 2008


Ladies (and gentlemen, for that matter), I'm beseaching you here. I'm imploring. BEGGING, almost. (Not quite, though...just almost.)

If you are the type that loves to splash a perfumed scent on yourself before heading out the door to work/a restaurant/church/the GYM, please do the rest of the world a favor...

...and stop it.

I'm not talking body sprays that tend to fade within 20 minutes of you spraying them on. I'm talking about the lotions or actual perfumes that you can buy that stay with you for hours. And then you can't smell it anymore (and perhaps it's just gotten to a reasonable smell level for those around you), and you reapply it mid-day.

Listen, I understand you want to smell pretty...we all do. For sure. But if you really want to smell like patchouli or opium or some other musky gross smell, just do it when you're going to be sharing your space with yourself, in the comfort of your own home, mkay? If you're heading to the office, you don't NEED to smell like Elizabeth Taylor or Calvin Klein or any incarnation they currently deem necessary to inflict on the general public at large. The soap you showered with in the morning is just fine. You're clean! Why fuck it up by spraying some weird scent all over yourself?

I like the scent of air. Or a nice apple-cinnamon candle, maybe. But I do NOT like perfume. It's just not pleasant. It literally seems to attack my nose when I encounter a whiff of it.

We'd love you anyway if you just smelled like you! (A clean you, of one needs a musty, dusty version of anyone wandering around their office/restaurant/church/gym!) We swear! Love us back, won't you? At least love our noses back. Again, beseaching. I don't do that too often, really.

A list and my fascist foot

I’m not big on lists, usually, but I feel like my list of wishes right now is getting longer and longer. Last night, I thought about them all as I tried to fall asleep. It didn’t help. Duh.

My left foot might be fascist. I can’t tell, since I’ve never had a fascist foot before, but it hurts. And it could make sense, according to WebMD. The only thing is that the pain that I have seemed to start with a small bump that had developed near the outer edge of the ball of my foot. It was really hurting to walk on it on Tuesday, but I ignored it and went about my business of, you know, getting over a stomach bug while trying to get work done. On Wednesday, the bump hurt less, and my tummy was feeling better, and I thought everything was going my way again. But then yesterday, the entire outer edge of my left foot was hurting a bit. Not bad enough to cause a limp, but still weird feeling. The bump doesn’t hurt any more at all. As the day went on, the pain got worse and worse, and I finally called a podiatrist to make an appointment…I can’t get in until next Tuesday afternoon, though.

There isn’t any swelling. There isn’t any discoloration. There’s nothing on the outside that shows there might be something wrong inside at all. And the fact that the fascist issue usually comes from the heel makes no sense. This is in my outer arch. But the description on WebMD seems to match what I’ve got, so I’m rolling with it.

These last few weeks have been brutal to me, as a usually very healthy individual. Every few days, I seem to get hit with something…usually stomach related…and then it takes time for me to recover. My workouts have suffered, but I’ve been cutting back on food, and trying to cut back on beer (Royals game excluded), and it seems to be making a difference. I won’t see my trainer again until Thursday, but I’m hoping I’ve dropped about 4 pounds by then…that’s what my scale is saying at home, anyway. We’ll see. Without workouts, I need to cut back even MORE on food, though, and that’s been tougher to do than I want it to be. Having the flu on Monday and Tuesday helped, but that’s not usually how I like to fly, really. I’m truly glad that appears to be over with.

Ok, so here’s my list, in case anyone is interested. It’s an edited list for public consumption reasons, but it’s a list all the same. I have the total list tucked away in a safe place (i.e. my head) and that’s all that matters. Hope everyone else’s wishes are working themselves out…

- I wish my dad would get better.
- I wish dad and stepmom could go home and be in their own environment/bed/kitchen/town again.
- I wish I didn’t feel like such a putz for only being able to borrow $120,000 from the bank for my house.
- I wish I could help with the family business somehow.
- I wish my husband’s boss would get some anger management classes.
- I wish my older sister didn’t have to deal with such a douche of an ex-husband, and that their kids didn’t have to deal with ANY of the shit they’re having to deal with.
- I wish I could move to the Vegas house and keep it warm until dad and stepmom can have the chance to visit it again.
- I wish the house addition was already done. And that we could have a party on the deck next weekend.
- I wish my boss would stop making offhand comments about wanting to quit. Yeah, he only did it once, but it was scary to hear it.
- I wish I could somehow help my boss enjoy his job as much as he helps me enjoy mine.
- I wish mom was still here.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

All blah, all the time.

Nothing is happening around here. Head over to the Twin's for excitement. She has a rent dispute going on with her landlords for her flower shop right now. I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Ok, wait...something IS going on round here. My keyboard is suddenly sticky-key central for some reason. The fuck? How do I clean out my keyboard? Jeezy...

I'm better. I'm eating all food successfully again, and actually want to get lunch pretty badly right now, but thought I'd stop to update this here blog fe fun first. (Seriously? Keyboard can FUCK OFF. GAH!)

My left foot hurts now, though. I'll explain more when I get my keyboard into a happier place.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Faith's Beauty Tip #1,491

Here's a tip for all the women that insist on finishing their daily beauty routine in their vehicle while it's moving down the street: when you put makeup on in your car on your way in to work, or wherever you might be headed? You tend to look like you put your makeup on in your car, mkay?

Wake up 10 minutes earlier. Fucktards...

I was behind a woman this morning that swerved slightly into oncoming traffic, correcting herself in time to avoid clipping the car coming towards us on the other side of the road. I immediately wondered what her issue was...cell phone? Fishing for something in her purse? Reading the news on her way in? When we stopped at the red light at 75th and Nall, and she proceeded to put on mascara while we sat there, I got my answer. And then she put on eye shadow as we drove between 75th and 83rd, at which point she turned left, saving me from possibly witnessing her driving into a pole or small child as she did her makeup while she drove.

She also kept trying to fluff her unfluffable over-permed and crunchy from styling solution hair in her rear-view mirror (which she had aimed at her face, of course, because how else was she supposed to do her hair and makeup on her way to work? DUH! It's what it's there for, obviously!), which I wanted to tell her wasn't helping much, but I feared approaching her since she was so busy, and all.

I never have understood these people, and while I'm guilty of smacking on a bit of lipstick while sitting at a signal now and again, I would never, EVER attempt to put on mascara in my car. Fuck, I have a hard enough time doing it when I'm standing still in my bathroom! (See pictured evidence above. Ok, ok...that was my clown makeup I had done professionally for my wedding day, but still...)

Seriously, if you're a girl that even goes so far as putting on blush while driving (and I don't care if you only do it when you're sitting at a signal. First of all, that's a lie and you know it. Second of all, what am I supposed to do when the light turns green, it's our turn to go, and you're mid-paint on the left eye? Sit there and wait? HELL no. I'm gonna lay on my horn and express my feelings about your lack of ability to get your shit together in the morning BEFORE you leave the house. You dolt...), just take the extra time at home. It's really not that tough...just wake up a few minutes earlier. Because seriously...the makeup you put on in your car does NOT look good. I can assure you. Taking extra time at home, if your care so much as to try to make yourself presentable and everything, is the way to go.

Oh, and perms are soooo 80's.

That is all.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Not 100%

I'm running at about 55% today, it seems. I can't eat or else it comes shooting out my back end 10 minutes later. I'm not hungry anyway, so that's helping. I ate some rice for breakfast because my empty-belly-breath was bugging ME, so I could only imagine what it would do to the coworkers once I got in the office.

I want to be asleep right now. Maybe I should go home. I need to check my PTO balance, though. BIL's graduation at the beginning of May was cause for 2 days off of work...if I don't have it to take, I'll be borrowing from future hours again. I'm tired of that crap.

There's no point in going to the doctor, although I keep thinking I should. They'll just tell me to do what I'm doing, I'm sure...keep getting as much rest as possible, take some Zantac (it's helping with the belly inflamation), and let it run it's course. I'm avoiding caffeine (not helping much with the exhaustion, I must say...), food except for broth, noodles, rice, and juice, and trying to get as much fluids in me as possible.

I am less crampy today. Which is a definite plus. I brought my heating pad thingy with me to work, though, just in case.

For the record, we weren't hung over from Saturday (a bunch of us went out to the Royals game on Saturday, in case anyone is wondering what the hell we're talking about)...we did have a hard time getting our body temps back to a normal level, though. You know what I heard this morning, D? They ran out of jerseys at one of the entrances and when they brought out more, instead of handing them out, they just opened the boxes and people took what they wanted. The woman that reported this info to the news said that there were loads of people around her just grabbing a bunch of them at a time. So instead of it being 1 jersey per person, some people were getting multiple ones. Assholes. We shoulda beat some of those kids up after all, it seems! Woulda warmed us up a bit, anyway. :)

I'll try to get better soon. I promise...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Home Sick

Stabbing belly pains. Nauseaus. No sleep since 3 a.m. (Well, some sleep...just not good sleep. Fucked up dreams when I was asleep, and then I was awake again to feel the wrath of the belly.)

No good reason for it, so I figure it must be some bug I caught.

Pray for me. GAH, this is awful!

Friday, April 11, 2008

On a lighter note...

Aren't we pretty?

Oh, and go read FUG today if you haven't already. Go. Go now. Laughed my ass off, "man."

That's a 40G in French, baby.

I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I’m having a really hard time accepting the fact that my body is as difficult as it is, and haven’t felt this negative towards it in a long, looong time.

I’ve gained 13 pounds since the wedding...which was only 5 and a half months ago. My boobs have gotten bigger again, and now that we’re heading into swamp-boob/ass season, they become even more of a “dream” to have attached to my body. (Anyone like putting deodorant under their boobs? I love it…absolutely loooove it.) I’ve been dealing with a local lingerie shop over the last two weeks trying to find a new perfect bra to hold the mothers up, and think we’ve finally found what works without sliding off my shoulders or digging into certain parts in uncomfortable ways. The salesgirl thought I was a 38 still, but I feel more comfortable in a 40 band. The cups? They’re size G. 40G. Christ save me. (That’s European sizing. In the US, it’s a DDD. Which is just as awesome, no?)

I think I know what the problem is…my workouts haven’t been as consistent as they were prior to the wedding because I don’t have a dress I must fit into anymore. I’ve been active, but only on average about 3 times per week, instead of the minimum 4 times that I should be doing. I feel less motivated than ever, and it’s making things very hard for me.

Also? Leo and I have been eating at home a lot more than we were prior to the wedding. We make our dinners…enough to feed 4 people, usually, because that’s just what recipes call for. We have leftovers, of course, but we also go back for seconds, which one can’t do in a restaurant usually, unless you’re at a buffet. We don’t tend to frequent buffets when we go out, though. Closest we get to that is Genghis Kahn in Westport. And we don’t get there more than once every 2 months or so. I try to get smaller portions of stuff when I plan on eating seconds (like last night with my famous red beans and rice? I take a smaller amount…about a cup total…each time I have it. But I felt full when I was done, which my trainer told me to try to avoid in order to get started losing. He wants me to be a little uncomfortable for now…which means eating way less than I’ve apparently gotten used to. And it’s harder to do than I realized it would be.)


I’ve also returned to my love of beer. Not that it ever went away, but I’d really cut back in the months leading up to the wedding. Now that I don’t have any goal I need to meet, I can say hello again over and over to my favorite Bud Light or Bully Wheat on the weekends.

And it’s not having a defined goal that’s killing me. Yes, losing 20 pounds would be lovely. But I don’t have to do it. I fit into my jeans fine. I have plenty of skirts that still look cute, even on my fat ass.

To illustrate, here’s an example of something frustrating that happened last week. I’m interested in having the boob reduction surgery soon…hopefully next year…and decided to write a doctor that I was referred to by a friend that had the surgery a while back. I need some info in order to better prepare, so here’s what I wrote:

“My name is [Faith], and I was referred to your office by a friend that had surgery performed by Dr. [so-and-so] some time ago. I'm interested in getting a breast reduction and lift, as well as possibly having some liposuction performed on my stomach area, but have a few questions...

First of all, I won't be able to have this done this year. I know I probably need to save up a good amount of vacation time from work before I can consider having the procedures done, but I'm not sure how much is required.

Also, I want to be sure that I'm saving the appropriate amount of funds in order to have the least for the breast reduction. The liposuction is just something I'm interested in hearing more about, and am not even sure if I'm a candidate for it. I might be too heavy.

That's another issue I'm wondering I need to lose weight before I would be considered to be a good candidate for either a tummy tuck or liposuction? Part of my concern about my weight is that it a good deal of it is up front - my stomach and my breasts. I work out regularly, and of course try to eat as healthy as possible, but I'm concerned about the amount of belly fat I have and how it might contribute to my heart health as I get older. It just doesn't seem to go away, no matter how much I work out. (4 days per week at this point in time.)

I'm 34 years old, and will not be having children. I weigh about [198], and am 5'5" tall.

I would hate to waste anyone's time with an actual consultation, if I won't be able to have the surgery until next year. But again, I want to be sure I'm saving appropriately, have the proper amount of time off from work set aside, as well as working at getting into the appropriate shape necessary for the surgeries I'd like to have. Should I schedule a consultation so I can find this info out?”

And here’s how they responded:

“Hi, Faith! The cost of a breast reduction is about $6500 @ this time, including surgeon's fees, OR, & anesthesia. Sounds like you are able to exercise but might need to consult with a dietician for additional weight loss. You are correct in assumimg that you wil get the best result with surgery if you have already lost any weight that you are going to lose before your surgery. Look forward to meeting you once you are closer to your goals.”

Initial response to the note was to be offended. It SOUNDS LIKE I’m able to exercise? WTH does that mean? Consult with a dietician for additional weight loss? Bitch doesn’t even know me or what my routine is…why would she assume that I eat badly? And I don’t HAVE any goals. That’s why I needed to know if I’m a candidate to have lipo or not…am I too heavy? SHOULD I have a goal?

After a while, I settled down. Yeah, the chick didn’t answer all the questions I had (like how much time I need in order to recover, and whether lipo is possible on someone who’s as heavy as I am), but she didn’t technically have all the info. Hence my reason to wonder whether I needed to come in now for a consultation or not.

And really, I think it just bothered me because I DON’T have a goal. And I guess I should. Is my belly as stubborn as I make it out to be, or am I not exercising enough/cutting out enough bad foods in order to help make it go away?

I don’t want to be one of those people that live on grilled chicken breasts and salad with low fat dressing all the time. I want to ENJOY life, but getting to that level of enjoyment also means not going through this dislike for my body every now and then.

I can’t find the balance. And I need it right now.

Thursday, April 10, 2008 not wanna punch people in the face.

Every day...every fucking single day this week...I have been hounded by people at lunchtime to take care of things. Usually, it's IM messages that suddenly flare up as soon as they see that I've returned to my desk. Today, one of them actually came over to bug me IN PERSON when they saw that I'd returned.

Listen, it's about 12 p.m. and I've been away from my desk for a bit, and the IM thingy alerts you to the fact that I've just returned after a short time away. Think for a moment that I might have just gone to grab something to eat while I try to relax for an hour at my desk NOT thinking about work, if possible? Maybe???

CHRIST, give me strength to not pop someone in the face today. I don't know what's lit my fire, but it ain't good, so keeping the distance would be advisable.

That is all*.

*Thanks to those of you who came up with some ideas to try to help me and my boss to look for an activity for the managers to participate in at the meeting next week. That keg idea of Emaw's is lookin' better and better to me throughout the day, but probably wouldn't be allowed, dammit. Twin, the newsletter thing is intriguing, but 45 minutes seems an awful short amount of time to allow for it. I'll pitch it anyway. If for no other reason than I'd love to start up a newsletter for our group, and having instant ideas would make the process that much easier. Also, I was gonna go look for books at lunch, but then I got all pissy. So I might go after I'm done with lunch, seeing as it's currently not stormy, and tonight that's gonna change, and also getting the ideas to my boss sooner than later is my goal.

Coley, I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of that sort of shit. The thing is, they told him to do this at a gathering last year, and he had to do a "panel" of managers that sat and talked about the topic for 45 minutes, and it tanked. Big time. (Hm, wonder why?) So he doesn't want to do it again...even though everyone told him to. It's like, huh? Weren't you guys there at the super-boring non-inspiring presentation last year to enjoy in its ultra-fullfilling message? Duh! Doing something different this year! I saw one thing that involved building something out of what looked like paper cups, or whatever. THAT looked like fun, but it's in that link that costs me $57 to download. Buggar.


First things first, I need some help finding a team building activity for my boss. We have a meeting next week that will involve about 50 managers, and he needs to facilitate an activity that helps illustrate and build on collaboration and relationships in the workplace. I looked all over online, but apparently, this type of thing is either illusively named, or is so locked up because all the people who have the ideas for fun activities want to be paid for them. Like this guy. His ideas and games look like a lot of fun...which is what we're aiming for. Trying to avoid the stuffy, boring "panel" discussion about collaboration and relationships in the workplace, you know? But do I wanna pay $57 to download this shit? I don't know! Maybe...if I can't find another way to get the info for cheaper, you know?

So if anyone has been to a seminar lately, or has memory of a fun activity they did at one in the past, send me an email. As an admin, I don't have a lot of opportunity to go to meetings where shit like this goes on, so my memory is failing me on this right now. Whatever help you can offer me would be awesome.

Second things second, I am on Advil Cold & Sinus right now, and I just need to express my love for this shit. GodDAMN it's the best. WOO!
I'm wearing a skirt today that might be questionably short for the office. I just have to remember to pull it down in the back whenever I get up to walk someplace, because as long as I'm sitting down, its cool. I hike up a little in the back, as they say, and so does my skirt unfortunately. It goes to my knees in the front. But when I initially stand up? It does not in the back. So tugging and primping will be the way of the day, it seems.
Alright, off to work on some stuff. Happy Thursday. Thank goodness I've made it this far...I feel drunk. :)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Our yard is NOT a safe haven

Saturday started out just like any other Saturday. Woke up after sleeping in a teensy bit. Ate breakfast and watched some t.v. I’d recorded throughout the week. Hung out with the puppies before I needed to leave them to go workout with my trainer. Came home after meeting with the trainer, feeling famished and ready for some lunch.

I started gathering the lunch items, and realized I needed to pee. As I started for the bathroom, Jake burst into the doggy door with Izzy close on his tail. He stopped briefly next to the couch before darting under the chair in the corner, which was when I noticed something hanging out of his mouth. It wasn’t a stick…Izzy doesn’t chase him when he’s got a stick.

Holy shit, I thought. He’s caught something.

Sure enough, he had something in his mouth when I finally was able to stop him from squirming around under the chair as he tried to keep it from Izzy. It looked like a bunny. Or a chipmunk. No, no…definitely a very, very small baby bunny.

I FREAKED out, or else I would have thought to get some photographic evidence of this event. Izzy hasn’t ever caught anything before, unless you count the dead birds she manages to find sometimes, but she tends to eat those (oh yes, she does) out in the yard, thank goodness. So I was wandering around, on the verge of tears, wondering aloud what I should do. “Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, what do I do? Shit, shit. JAKE! DON’T EAT HIM!!! Shit. What do I do? Augh!” This is NOT an exaggeration. “JAKE, come out from under there RIGHT NOW. Now! Please bring him back outside! Please, please…shit, shit, shit…” Because reasoning with a DOG makes perfect sense in this kind of situation.

I finally went and moved the chair to the point where I was able to grab Jake’s leg and pull him out from under the chair. But his mouth was empty! AUGH! “It’s going to run loose! It’s going to run loose in the house, and I won’t be able to catch it! And Jake you are SUCH a dick! WHY did you do this? Shit, shit, shit…” I wish I were kidding. This is almost exactly how I reacted, seriously. At least I had caught the dogs’ attention with my spazzing, and they were no longer interested (or as interested, anyway) with the bunny under the chair. They were more interested in whether the spastic behavior would lead in some way to me giving them food of some kind, apparently. They were swarming my feet while I paced back and forth yelling.

Ok, so I finally found a towel. I was afraid not only that the little critter would start running loose in the house, and we’d not find him until he died and started to release a smell that would give us a clue as to what small crevice he’d taken shelter in, but that he would bite me if I tried to get him to take him back outside. These were the thoughts running through my head in those few seconds. That he would manage to run away, get into a small spot where he would die, and that he would then decay there. Why was I thinking that? Jake knocked over a bowl of Izzy’s food last week, and some of the pieces got under a piece of furniture that he continually stalked (i.e. whined and pawed at) for days until we actually managed to move the furniture to clean up every last piece so that he’d stop trying to get UNDER that piece of furniture to obtain the random pieces of food. And here I was thinking that an animal would somehow be able to HIDE in our house, undetected, until it died of starvation, or whatever, in its little hiding place? Yeah, not likely.


Baby bunnies play dead when they’re caught by dogs, apparently. At least this little guy did. Or he was stunned from being slammed through the doggy door. Anyway, he was just lying there when I snapped to my senses after a few seconds of freak out, and I was able to scoop him into the towel I had grabbed, and wrap him up safely until I could find a box to put him in. After a minute of me petting him trying to see if Jake had hurt him in any way, he kind of snapped back to life, and hopped a little. He was still scared, but he wasn’t ready to bite me, or whatever. I kept petting him until I was satisfied that Jake had simply drooled on him, and had not managed to puncture him with his teeth at all. And then I called the Mission MedVet for advice.

“My puppy managed to catch a baby bunny, and it’s sooo teeny, and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s not hurt. But we have a big yard, and I have no idea where its mom is, or family, or whatever, so what should I do with it?”

The girl advised me to just release it back in the yard in a safe place, and then keep the dogs inside for a while. She said that the momma bunnies send their babies outside like that to try to get their scent off of them, somehow? So they aren’t hunted as easily? I dunno. She said that if they’re sick, the momma’s will just abandon them sometimes, too. I don’t think that’s what happened here, but it doesn’t matter. I let the bunny loose by a tree in a shady corner of the yard, far from the snake party that came out to get some sunshine that afternoon (just garter snakes, but still…), and then went back in the house. 5 minutes later, I went to check on him and he was gone.

It was a crazy 15 minutes of my life with the dogs. I hope they never EVER bring anything into the house again. Like that snake party? Oh, I can soooo see Jake happily dragging one of those muthafuckers into the house one day, just bounding in through the door, and dragging it into the living room. Where it would squirm away rather quickly, I’d think, seeing as snakes don’t tend to play dead, dammit.

Anyway, hoping it doesn’t happen again. But if it does, I’ll be sure to take pictures.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


Anyone know what makes clouds look like this?

I snapped this picture on my way out of the office yesterday since the clouds looked so neat and shit. It wasn't raining yet...just started sprinkling when I ran into a store to grab some beer, actually. And I've seen clouds looking like this before, but its been a while. I love it when they do this, but would love to know (in the simplest terms possible, please...) what makes them do this.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Ah, the ever illusive "title" portion. I got nothin'.

It's a rough Monday morning. I thought I wouldn't be able to do my pilates class tonight, so I worked out this morning instead only to see that the game isn't on tonight until 8 p.m. So I could've done pilates after all.

Saturday night is a blur. One I'd prefer to forget. There was drinking and literal madness involved (sometimes, my guy friends take their jabs a bit too far...I was rooting for UCLA on Saturday night, and they were all rooting for Memphis for no other reason except to bug me. Some random stranger joined in on the "fun" at one point, and I really didn't understand that. Maybe he didn't realize I was friends with the other people doing it? I dunno. Anyway, they finally stopped when I told the bartender that I was ready to tab out in the early part of the 2nd half. She made them stop. Assholes...), and then after Leo and I got home, I don't remember much of anything. I took some Benadryl. And some Advil. And then passed out. Yesterday morning sucked. I went back to bed at 11:30 after initially getting up at about 9:30, and slept until 12:15. That helped a good deal.

So, UCLA let me down. KU kicked some major bootie. Looking forward to tonight's game, that's for damned sure...


These pictures are from a few weeks of those rare moments when the dogs are actually sitting quietly, and just a few inches from each other, too! This doesn't happen much anymore.
This is my favorite position for Jake to be in. Asleep!
And this is how Iz and I usually hang out together in the evenin' time. I lie back, she crawls up onto my belleh, and we cuddle together.
Last night Jake joined us. I was surprised Izzy allowed it to happen, but it was one of the rare moments when he wasn't also trying to bite her head as he hung out with us. He just got up on her and laid there. For abooouuut 45 seconds. Then he was wiggleworming around, and finally got up on the back of the couch where he had better access to eating my hair. Dick.

Anyway, that's that for now. Go KU! Hope everyone has a good Monday...

Friday, April 04, 2008

Friday Feast, baby!

I'm joining the fun this week. I don't know why this feast in particular struck a cord with me, but did. We'll see if that happens again next week.

Invent a new flower; give it a name and describe it.
Faith Rose (don't tell me if it already exists, Twin); Blooms in early winter in a deep red shade, and then again in spring with a slightly paler tone. Completely withers and dies in summer, and regenerates itself again in fall in preparation for its reemergence in wintertime. Don't touch it - EVER! It doesn't like physical contact much, and its thorns will make that pretty damned clear.

Name someone whom you think has a wonderful voice.
Cecilia Bartoli. She makes me cry...cry...with how beautiful her voice is. I sure wish she'd tour again and come to KC.

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how clean do you keep your car?
9 inside. In the summer it's usually 8 - 10 outside, but in the winter (including right now, since the weather can't seem to make up its fucking mind), it's a 1. Fo sho.

Main Course
How do you feel about poetry?
How does poetry feel about me is the real question here. (Answer: It doesn't like me much at all.)

What was the last person/place/thing you took a picture of?
My puppies.

Even my nephew noticed...


The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

Actually, to be quite honest, I think there's something wrong with the meter. Less than HALF of my pages have cussing on them? Really? Really???

Thanks for the direction to the meter, Emaw. I've seen the error of my ways now...clearly, I'm not cussing nearly enough, dammit.


Our trash this week = 1 bag. That was IT. 1 fucking bag.

Holy goddamn. We're pretty damned proud of ourselves. We cooked 5 of the 7 nights, even. I don't know how we did it.

Chimpo, we might consider the filter on the faucet when we change out the kitchen this spring. I've been thinking about that for a while, actually. I used to use Brita pitchers pretty religiously, but I drink a LOT of water...a LOT. It's hard for the Brita pitcher to keep up with me, to be quite honest! I'd think a larger dispenser would work well for me, but I've been lazy about it. Plus our fridge isn't all that fabulously sized, so it would take up a shit ton more room than my usual 4 or 5 bottles of water I cool at a time.

Anyway, we're working on it. It'd be nice to not have to lug home all that water from the store every week.

Thursday, April 03, 2008


This can't be true. It just can't!

Why the hell doesn't this guy get it? And why do we fall for it every fucking time? Good GAWD, it's annoying...

No cheating!

This has been making its rounds. I must say, some of your guys’ favorite movies are really obscure. Freaks.

This should be relatively easy for many of you. I hope…(but maybe that’s because I like NORMAL movies. Sheesh!)

Movie meme
-Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
-Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
-Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
-Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

-Leave guesses in the comments.
-No Googling or using IMDB search functions.
-Know-it-alls, limit your guesses to three movies.

1. “Dude, mimes don’t talk.”
“They do when they’re off duty.” (Saving Silverman - Hoopstar)

2. “What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.” (Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle - Amy)

3. “I have learnt how to live... How to be In the world and Of the world, and not just to stand aside and watch. And I will never never again run away from life. Or from love, either...”

4. “Vanity working on a weak mind produces every kind of mischief.” (Emma - Waldo Oiseau)

5. “No way that just happened. My car is completely destroyed.”
“I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... *awesome*.” (Tommy Boy - Emaw)

6. “But I’m not 200 hundred years old. Why can’t I sleep in pajamas?”
“Just the top part. Did you know there are people who sleep with absolutely nothing on at all?”
“I rejoice to say I did not.”

7. “Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!” (Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Emaw)

8. “I'll tell you what I am - I'm the damn paterfamilias! You can't marry him!” (O Brother, Where Art Thou? - Emaw)

9. “If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.” (Sense and Sensibility - Waldo Oiseau)

10. “Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up?”
“Blew it all on the suit.” (Ocean's Eleven - Faithstwin)

11. “If two members of staff have to fall in love and decide to get married, there's nothing one can say. But what I do find a major irritation are those persons who are simply going from post to post looking for romance.”

12. “I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Say, um, can I have some of that water?”

13. “The only real challenge with this job, is trying to look busy when there's nothing to do.” (Clockwatchers - Cheri) (Thank GOD someone else had seen this movie besides me! I was starting to worry...and it's a fave of mine because I spent so much of my administrative professional life as a temp in different positions. It spoke to me.)

14. “And you and I would have never been at war. And the only things we would've fought about would be what video to rent on Saturday night.”
“Well, who fights about that?”
“Well, some people. Not us.” (You've Got Mail - Christy)

15. “I'm having a birthday party, but you're not invited, but you can come if you want.” (What's Eating Gilbert Grape - Amanda)

Not just the grass is greener...

Chimpotle's post yesterday about wallets made from recycled materials reminded me of a post I've been meaning to put up.

Leo and I haven't been avid recyclers for most of our lives. I think his parents recycled. And I know my dad does...he has a special trash can for it at his house, so that makes it easier. (I mean, they come and pick the stuff up from his place, like a regular trash pick up, you know? Handy dandy...) But I've never made a particular effort before this year. I heard about the recycling center down in OP through the little Overland Park newsletter thingy I get at my house, and thought I should start collecting our plastic water bottles/other plastic bottles instead of trashing them, along with all the aluminum cans that Leo goes through on a weekly basis.

First thing we noticed? Our weekly trash output went down 2 BAGS. (We use the 10 gallon suckers in our kitchen can.) We now only have to put our one trash can out at the curb with everything inside of it, instead of the trash can PLUS 2 more bags lying next to it waiting to be picked up on Friday mornings.

Yes, we drink a LOT of water from those little bottles. And the frightening thing is that I have a large mug I use while at work, so I'm only contributing to that output when I'm home at night/on the weekends. Yikes!

So we collected cans and plastic bottles for a month or so, and then Leo saw this show on BBC that he wanted to check out. It was called "Dumped" and it was basically a little reality show a la BBC that had several people move into a dump for a few weeks (I believe it was 3 weeks total), and they had to survive on what was there in the dump. Well, that's not entirely accurate, really...they had to find shelter and other ammenities (chairs, shower material, etc...), but they were provided with food.

Unfortunately, after the first episode, we ran into an issue where Time Warner decided they should move BBC America to an upper-tier cable channel (like in the 200's instead of under 100) which keeps us from being able to view it seeing as we have a splitter on our t.v. so our TiVo can record two channels at once. They moved it so they could have it in HD, or some bullshit. Yeah, I don't need HD as bad as the rest of the world apparently needs it, so I don't understand this logic. There's room for it on channel 78, and yet they moved it to 200-something in order to keep some sort of consistency going with their "free" HD network they offer. I understand movies and sports events being broadcast in HD. I do NOT understand why I need to have the option to watch Gordon Ramsay in HD at any given time. Just plain stupid.

So we only watched that first episode, and hopefully we'll be able to catch the rest of it when it's released on DVD.

Regardless, Leo suddenly was on super-recycling mode after we watched that one show. He created boxes for us to recycle our junk mail, all catalogs I get, the cardboard that we receive at the house...everything.

I'm not kidding when I say we might be down to just 1 and a half bags of trash being put out of our house each week now. And there's probably more that we could do if I would just get less afraid of the composter in the backyard, dammit!

It's been an interesting transition. Yes, we have different recepticles all over the place for collecting our cans, plastic, glass, and paper products (glossy magazines go in a different one than the other paper, thankyouverymuch!), but it's well worth it if we're helping as much as we can with our "contribution" to the local land fill.

That recycling center in OP is at 119th Street, right behind the Time Warner office, ironically! (Behind a fire station, as well...between Metcalf and Antioch, if you're wondering about the general area you should be looking for.) It's a busy place on a Saturday (encouragingly enough), but Leo's started taking our stuff down there on his days off, anyway, so that helps a bit. I told my friends about it at the bar, and one of them replied, "Yeah, but how much GAS are you wasting driving all the way down there to dump stuff." I was all, "Um, I drive down there daily for work, anyway. And we only dump the recyclables once a month, so that's not a really valid argument against it, in my opinion." People who want to find reasons NOT to recylce? Really chap my hide.

Get a couple extra trash cans. Don't forget to throw the cap on all the plastic bottles away before you toss them to the recycling bin. And know that you're doing a good thing for the environment.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Elevator conversation...

Guy 1: "I think they're 2 hours behind. 1 hour or 2 hours...wait, are they on Pacific time?"
Guy 2: "2 hours behind, I think."
Me: "Are you talking about Las Vegas? It's 2 hours behind."
Guy 1: "That's what I thought. Is Las Vegas further west than Los Angeles?"
Me, pretty sure he was talking to Guy 2, but unable to control myself as I haven't had enough caffeine yet: [Laughing, including a snort...] "No, it's not."

Me: At my desk now...still can't stop giggling.

Puppy overload

My first attempts to upload directly to Blogger. If it's a big fat mess, well...that'd be just like me, right? :P

Ok I just viewed the video, and remember that I was confounded by the camera itself while I was taking the video. *sigh* Technology isn't my friend, ok?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Waking up.

For the last 7 months, or so, I haven't been able to read Dooce from my computer at work. It's blocked, like several other blogs on my list (Filegirl and Well Hell to name a couple more), and its been frustrating to me to not be able to keep up with some of my favorite reading. (Google reader doesn't work for me, ok? I can't figure the fucker out, so just leave it be!)

You know what I just figured out, though? My phone...I have unlimited access to the net via my fucking phone. I can read all those blogs every day, and even throw in some pron and orders from Vic's Secret while I'm at it!

I'm such an idiot. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some reading to do...

Rather be rubbed the right way...

Look, if you contact me to set a meeting with my boss, and you give me 4 days to choose from, and only ONE of them will work (because it's next week, and that week is already full, duh), and I reply back to let you know that its the only time that might work but there's another meeting already happening at that time that he might have to be on, but we won't know for sure until Monday, and then YOU reply back that there's a meeting at the same time (talking about the same fucking meeting I just mentioned) and so that time won't work, actually...

Do NOT expect me to like you very much, ok? I'm still getting over whatever it is that's attacking my body, I feel grumpy and icky and afraid to poop, it's so painful, and I really, really am having a hard time understanding why I get the kind of flu that I maintain an appetite through, ok? I do NOT need to think about your fucking problems with schedules on top of all that right now.