Here's a tip for all the women that insist on finishing their daily beauty routine in their vehicle while it's moving down the street: when you put makeup on in your car on your way in to work, or wherever you might be headed? You tend to look like you put your makeup on in your car, mkay?
Wake up 10 minutes earlier. Fucktards...
I was behind a woman this morning that swerved slightly into oncoming traffic, correcting herself in time to avoid clipping the car coming towards us on the other side of the road. I immediately wondered what her issue was...cell phone? Fishing for something in her purse? Reading the news on her way in? When we stopped at the red light at 75th and Nall, and she proceeded to put on mascara while we sat there, I got my answer. And then she put on eye shadow as we drove between 75th and 83rd, at which point she turned left, saving me from possibly witnessing her driving into a pole or small child as she did her makeup while she drove.
She also kept trying to fluff her unfluffable over-permed and crunchy from styling solution hair in her rear-view mirror (which she had aimed at her face, of course, because how else was she supposed to do her hair and makeup on her way to work? DUH! It's what it's there for, obviously!), which I wanted to tell her wasn't helping much, but I feared approaching her since she was so busy, and all.
I never have understood these people, and while I'm guilty of smacking on a bit of lipstick while sitting at a signal now and again, I would never, EVER attempt to put on mascara in my car. Fuck, I have a hard enough time doing it when I'm standing still in my bathroom! (See pictured evidence above. Ok, ok...that was my clown makeup I had done professionally for my wedding day, but still...)
Seriously, if you're a girl that even goes so far as putting on blush while driving (and I don't care if you only do it when you're sitting at a signal. First of all, that's a lie and you know it. Second of all, what am I supposed to do when the light turns green, it's our turn to go, and you're mid-paint on the left eye? Sit there and wait? HELL no. I'm gonna lay on my horn and express my feelings about your lack of ability to get your shit together in the morning BEFORE you leave the house. You dolt...), just take the extra time at home. It's really not that tough...just wake up a few minutes earlier. Because seriously...the makeup you put on in your car does NOT look good. I can assure you. Taking extra time at home, if your care so much as to try to make yourself presentable and everything, is the way to go.
Oh, and perms are soooo 80's.
That is all.