Thursday, May 29, 2008

The bed is sorta comfy, if you like brand new sheets that are stiff.

Place: Hotel Leo and I are staying at for the next 3 and a half days

Time: 11:30 p.m. – 1 a.m. Wednesday night into Thursday morning

Scene: Faith is awake, getting more and more pissed by the minute because she’s trying so hard to be good this week, and part of that involves her waking up at 4:45 to workout in the morning. But she’s AWAKE! And not sleeping! So it’s looking bad by the time, oh, 12:30 a.m. rolls around and she’s still not able to pass out like she so desperately wants to!

But she can’t. Because the hotel put her and Leo into a room that is conjoined with the room next door. And the doors that separate the two rooms are completely insufficient at blocking noise. And the neighbors in said room? Are apparently having a party.

A party of the evangelical kind.

Faith tosses and turns, listening to what appears to be one man on t.v., screaming at the top of his lungs. Every once in a while, she hears the man say something like, “…PRAISE BE TO JEEESSUUUUSS!” which is what gives her the clue that the guys next door – there are two of them – are Jesus-freaks, lying in bed at 12:30 fucking a.m. watching a preacher get his personal freak on.

Faith has gotten up and fiddled with the AC to get it to turn on, as it drowns out the sound of the t.v. next door really well. But it won’t stay on for longer than about 3 – 5 minutes at a time, it seems. She even checks to see if there happen to be any earplugs in the travel case she brought along. No such luck. She lies in bed and considers going downstairs to complain – she doesn’t want to bother Leo by calling…dude can sleep through WWIII, and is currently sleeping through the freaking next door, but she’s sure she’ll wake him if she has to turn on a light and make a phone call.

At 12:30, she hears one of the men say, “You gotta be kidding me! The feed just went out! Just like that.” And she starts to praise JEEESSUUUUSS! a little herself, hoping that the evangelizing is over for the night, and she might be able to actually fall asleep. (And yes, that’s how clearly she can hear through the door…she can hear them sneeze, cough, what they’re saying to each other. It’s not. cool.)

But apparently, there was just a blip in the satellite, like she and Leo had experienced when watching Smokin’ Aces (whoah. That’s all she can say about that movie…whoooaaah.), and their evangelical minister screamed back to a start moments later.

Faith starts to cry a little bit. She’s not kidding…this sucks so bad, and she feels dumb because she forgot her comfy pillows at home, and they didn't even do anything to the house that day that required her and Leo being out of it (they just put in the floor joists for the new space), and now she has to listen to a guy praise JEEESSUUUUSS! all night long through the wall, and so she finally gives up, and decides to call downstairs. If for no other reason than to show the men next door how easy it is to hear their neighbor through the door.

She speaks to Ron at the Host Desk. She tells Ron how disappointed she is because (a) the hotel can’t even be 50% occupied, and she and her husband were placed next to some random strangers in a room that joins their with a door? WTF? And (b) someone needs to know how very crappy those doors are at keeping sound from traveling through them, because oh. my. GOD, do they suck at doing their secondary job. And (c) does he happen to have any earplugs? Please?

Ron does not have earplugs. (Faith suggests they should get some, since their doors between conjoined rooms are so fucking awful at keeping out the noise.)

Are they checking out tomorrow, by any chance, Faith asks? No. They aren’t. But he can offer to move Faith and her husband, if they’d like.

Place: Faith’s Office

Time: 10 a.m. Thursday morning

Scene: Faith’s head on desk. She’s tired. She’s sleeping. Shhhh!

6 comments:

faithstwin said...

I'm so sorry you didn't get good sleep! I am mostly sorry, though, for laughing so hard while reading about your misery. I hope tonight will be better.

faithstwin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Faith said...

JEEESSUUUUSS!

Coley said...

That is the suck. If a similar issue arises tonight, just start loudly talking to Leo (whether he's awake or not) about how LOUD the people next door are. "Gosh, do you think they KNOW WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THEY'RE DOING?"
Sometimes, passive aggression gets the job done.

faithstwin said...

Slip a note under the adjoining doors: "JESSSUUUUSSSS wants you to shut up and let your neighbors sleep!"

Absolutely Feisty said...

I agree with the note.. that would have been funny.. then again.. knock and then slip the note.. You're hilarious.