Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Here's the deal...

Dear Fantastically More Special-Than-Me Driver Of The White Acura MDX Minisoovee With The Texas Plate That Felt It Was Ever So Important That You Get Over In Front Of Me As Soon As You Were Able To Do So This Morning As I Drove My Puppy To The Playplace On My Way To Work,

You're an asshole.

You made me miss my turn signal by getting in front of me like that, because your car was just big enough to block me from being able to get into the turn lane. Had you waited patiently behind me, you would have had the same fucking position in traffic that you so coveted, wouldn't have missed the signal (it was red, and we were ALL waiting for it to turn green, DUH!), and wouldn't have caused me to be late for work.

I know it seemed like my puppy and I were out for a joyride, in rush hour traffic, down a main artery in Johnson County, and all. And when the car in front of me turned on their turn signal alerting us to the fact that they would be turning in a relatively tough spot (if oncoming traffic is coming, it can trap you behind them for a good 3 minutes and cause you to miss the signal at 95th), there really was no reason to worry, as the oncoming lane was clear and they were able to turn without delay. But you still took that mutherfucking opportunity to get in front of me after traveling behind me all the way down Nall for the previous 3 miles.

Did it bother you that I had a dog in my car? Asshole? Because there was a REASON I had a dog in my car, not that you fucking care what it was. It's not like I was letting it crawl all over my lap, causing me to drive erratically, or dangerously or anything. He was in my rear window, watching the traffic roll by, and patiently waiting for us to arrive at our destination, i.e. the Puppy Playplace he loves to go to 3 days a mutherfucking week. You fucktard.

So next time you feel like jockeying for a better position in traffic, basically just pissing people off behind you since there was no point to you cutting them off in the first goddammed place, how about you take it back to whatever fucking backassward town you're from in Texas, hm? 'Cause we don't need any more of your brand of crazy around these parts. We get enough of that when they cross the state line from Missouri.

Thanks! Asshole!

Sincerely,
Faith

4 comments:

Spyder said...

"We get enough of that when they cross the state line from Missouri." I sure hope you are not including me in THAT craziness! I have other craziness. Hope your day gets better.

Faith said...

Spyder, that was my one loveable "jab" at you guys, like we JoCo people always get from folks like XO, etc... :)

Although, lately, it is true that the most trouble I've had with people driving wonky, they've had MO license plates, so I don't know what's happening there.

meesha.v said...

May be it was a transplant from MO to TX, visiting back here.

Coley said...

You know, I heard an excellent solution to these types of problems. Everyone's cell phone number should be written on their license plate frame. Immediate accountability for all BS traffic moves. You could have just called that guy and asked "Just what were you hoping to accomplish by diving in front of me? Do you feel better now that you've made me miss the light? Dickwad."