Friday, July 11, 2008

Instead of house photos, you get THIS!

So, as you all know, when I’m not lovingly creating new blog posts for you to read, I’m often over at the message boards on The Knot.

Well, a few weeks ago…probably about 5 or 6…the group I “hang out” with on one of the boards started having issues with some Disney brides that were coming to visit us from their boards. (Seriously…check them out. It’s scary.) They would post something ridiculous about their plans for their wedding (usually involving sparkly ribbon wands, a rented Cinderella carriage that costs nothing less than $3,000 for the fucking 10 minutes they’re in it, and possibly a ring that they somehow get shaped into a Mickey Mouse head) and then we would respond the way we do to ridiculous twits that ventured onto “our” board. They were fun to fuck with, and some of the team on my board actually created user names for their board to post some crazy shit on.

Ribbon how they're ducking so that they don't get hit by one of the guests who's pissed off that they have to pretend they're a 9 year old girl for a few minutes at someone's wedding...

And I found this on the Disboard...someone was looking for help on how to apply "secret Mickey crystals" onto their veil. WTF?

The moderators on the DisBoards are super-fierce, though. They shut us down fast.

In the meantime, on our unmoderated (at the time) board, they were coming in and giving us shit for fucking with them. Some of us played innocent, some owned up to it, while I personally just sat and laughed.

Anyway, we wound up creating an off-board we called “DisneyFreaks” at first, but then changed the name soon after, because another bunch of twats – erm, girls – from another board on the Knot decided they would harass us for getting all riled up over the Disney bullshit and “running away”. Thing is, we didn’t run away…we created a new board, yeah, but we still posted often on the Knot. The “running away” thing would become a theme for them in their harassment of us. (Even though they had created their own off-board months ago for similar reasons. They say they don’t post there anymore, but we all know that’s bullshit.)

We have a girl on our board who is super-fun and sweet, and younger than she comes across online…she was 21 when I “met” her, but had a birthday last week, so she’s now 22. She got married a couple of weeks ago, and promptly posted a bunch of pics for us to see, both on our board, as well as on the Knot.

Immediately, the other board on the Knot started in on her with her pictures. She took them down quickly, but not before one of them got a hold of one, which she then manipulated into an Andy Worhol-esque collage of just the boob area of one of her pictures. It became a big thing to bash my friend for having a “quadraboob”, when really it was just the way she was leaning in the picture that made it look the way it did. She actually looked GORGEOUS on her wedding day, and seemed to have fun from beginning to end. Seriously happy girl, and I’m happy for her. (Lookit how cute she is! This was during the ceremony...she was all, "Are y'all watching this?!")
Everyone from the other board started in on how “ill-fitting” her dress was, and the level of harassment was ridiculous. Many of us from the off-board that I belong to were coming to her defense. I finally posted a thread that told the creator of the photo (though she never admitted to it, we all knew she did it…) to basically fuck off. You aren’t allowed to cuss on the Knot, so I just get creative with my spelling. It got to two pages (maybe three?) before what we call the "Knot Gods" found it, and deleted it. There was a lot of arguing going on in it, but I was basically telling this one girl to just fuck off and go back to her own board over and over, and I guess I took it too far. Oops!

We started another thread about the subject, and discussed it in a slightly more civilized manner, but it was still ugly.

That was on a Friday.

Then last week, things picked up again. The girl from our board that was being picked on noticed that there were still discussions about it happening on the other board. So she started posting there a lot. Mostly to rile them up, but also to show that she wasn’t letting them get her down. (She rocks!)

She’s been posting there often, and apparently, on the 4th of July (I wasn’t on at all until maybe Sunday, I think?), an Alter Ego (AE) showed up in the form of Elizabeth Taylor. She was fantastic. She had created a bio (we all have bios…well, most of us do…mine is here, for example) that was a run-down of all the…well, wait. Let me just link to it for ya. Here ya go! Gives a rundown of all the marriages of Elizabeth Taylor…it’s hilarious, and it makes fun of a couple of people (links on the right hand side) that we sincerely do NOT like from the other board. One of them being the main person** who fucked with the pictures from my friend’s wedding, and started the whole ill-fitting dress/quad-boob movement. I’m not exactly sure what happened with Elizabeth_Taylor on Friday and Saturday last week, but it got everything stirred back up, because people wanted to know who was behind her, and the other board thought it was definitely us.

Now, I trust my girls. We’ve become really close in the last few weeks, to the point of sharing phone numbers, addresses, work locations, information about ourselves that sometimes our husbands/fiancés/family doesn’t even know, and we can’t wait until we can all meet each other at a wedding in 2009. It may seem odd to some, but it’s like we’re a little internet sorority, if you will. As sickening as that may sound, I assure you, it’s quite the contrary. These girls are an awesome group, and I’m really glad they asked me to be associated with them.

So when this shitstorm happened this week, things got dicey, and distracting, and all around headache producing.

Basically, we know information, thanks to some relatively random ways it could be found on the internet (beware, Facebook users…beware…), and they ALSO had some information, found essentially through the same means. This private info, like first and last names, as well as places of work, started getting tossed around in a thread on Tuesday. It got fugly. FAST. We have information on some of the girls on the opposing board, but we would never, EVER divulge it on the internet like that! Not when we know there’s a troll like Elizabeth_Taylor hanging around someplace. Lord knows how a crazy like that would behave when they have that kind of info. (And she’s a tame crazy…seriously.)

And the other side of the fun is that everyone who hates us wants to DESPERATELY see our private board. But it’s locked down. You have to register to be a user, and our board-creator won’t approve random applicants that just swing through on a whim. In fact, we’re quite happy with the size of the group as it is, so we’re not even interested in inviting any newcomers for the time being.

This drives the opposition nuts. Yesterday, when the shit started hitting the fan again, we had 21 guests trying to view our board at one point in time. Then people were asking for our IP addresses, for some reason. It was all getting very odd. Our board owner has been off getting married, getting to know her husband in ways she never had before, and finally returned today asking us all, “What the hell happened here?” Apparently, she had a shit ton of new requests for registration waiting for her. And of course there were all our threads titled things like, “OH SHIT!” and “THE BANNING” and “What’s Going ON???” because some people have been working/studying all week, and haven’t been around to see what was up with about 14 of us.

Anyway, it’s all much more long and involved than I’m sure anyone expected. And unfortunately, I can’t cut and paste from Knot threads like I usually do, because most of them were either deleted by their original poster, or by the Knot Gods that deemed them inappropriate or containing harassing content, etc…

A couple of people were banned, I made the ultimate suggestion that we just stay away from the boards for a while, to try to break this whole thing down and get it to stop, and when I told the other side about my suggestion to my board that we quit going to the Knot for a while until things simmah down, they all jumped at me saying things like “Well, if you didn’t take the internet so seriously, it wouldn’t be a problem,” and “Why don’t you just GBCK already and get it over with?” (GBCK = Good Bye Cruel Knot, which is what we call it when a member can’t handle it anymore, and leaves forevaaahhh…) To which I replied I didn’t give a shit what their snotty-asses did, I was just suggesting it to the girls on my board. And I’m not gonna GBCK, so they can SUCK IT. (I left after that, so I don’t know how they responded.)

So today, my board is back to talking about things like working out, and how excited some of us are for football season, and are you a college fan or a pro fan?, and who was a cheerleader in college?, and what does your pet look like! Post pics HERE!!! And it’s nice. And every once in a while, someone that’s still brave and strong enough to read/post on the Knot will bring us a tidbit, like the one today where someone said, “Hey remember when all we had to worry about was someone getting called mean? Local boards = Mayberry; National boards = Compton.” That made me laugh, because it’s sooo true. (I don’t even visit my local much any more. They’re annoying and slow. The board I’m a part of is a national board…so I’m a Compton girl, according to that analogy!)

So hopefully, that’s what you guys wanted to hear. If not, I’m sorry! I wish I would have saved some of the conversations that were going on, because they might’ve explained it better. But then this post would’ve been even LONGER, and I don’t think that’s what anyone wants, now, is it?

And reading back over all that, I can see how some of you might find me absolutely ridiculous, and I don’t blame you. But it’s hard to explain the bond that’s been formed with this group of internet friends, and when we saw one getting attacked, it hurt. And then the threats started coming through about information they KNOW about certain folks, and those folks could potentially have serious damage done if anyone contacted an employer, or what have you, if the wrong hands got a hold of it, THAT is when things got so scary.

And so maybe that helps you understand my stress? I don’t know. Judge me if you will - I don’t mind…

**Wanna see her? I know you doooo!

The color-tone on this next photo is just soooo no right...makes her look all the same color, from hair to face to dress. Blech.

And then there was the cheese...quite the talented caterer, just dumping it all out on the table like that...

Apparently, this caterer also likes to serve what looks like regurgitated nachos at his buffets. Yummy!

Elizabeth_Taylor has way funny captions in these photos. Go and look, if you haven't already. It's behind the Bethiroo link...


Amy said...

You inspire me in so many ways. You're awesome!

Anonymous said...

First - love your blog and check it every day. Just married in April myself. I never comment, just read. But this post has me thinking.

What is the appeal of continuing to go to the Knot after you're married? Why bash others for the choices they make for their own wedding day? And why participate in making potentially hurtful comments about someone? It just doesn't qualify as 'entertainment' in my book. Just trying to understand the appeal to all of this.

Anonymous said...

I lub you. Our sorority could be called FKS. Fort knox sisterhood!

I think we should have sweatshirts made!


Erin said...

I was so confused, thought the dis boards was dissing people, not Disney. I'm slow. But seriously, what a dumb name!

elizabeth taylor = awesome

Heather said...

I really liked your wedding page, especially the black and white photos.

Devil's Cove...that's where I went! Pretty snazzy little rock climbing adventure.

As someone who has never married before, just reading of your adventures on the Bridzilla boards makes me want to elope.

Faith said...

Anonymous 7/11 at 4:12, we get that question a lot on the boards. And we say the same thing to everyone who asks it: people come to the boards for advice on wedding decor, dresses, bridesmaid freakiness, in-law freakiness, etc, etc...those of us who are already married not only have examples of decor and dresses and cakes and stuff for people to view in our bios, but we also are able to offer first-hand advice to future brides about what they should look for in a photographer, to how they should handle their contracts with planners, to advice on how we lost those last few pounds to fit into our wedding dresses perfectly on the big day.

Basically, without the brides who already got married, those boards wouldn't be nearly as helpful. I'm a regular on a board called "P&E", or "Planning & Etiquette". I'm able to offer my advice to those looking for help in either category, as well as other random shit they want to know. Yes, I can be snarky at times, but only when it's a truly trollish post. If someone comes off as sounding really dumb right off the bat, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt initially, and wait to see if they redeem themselves in responses after they receive initial advice. If they don't take the advice well, it's open season. My policy is: don't go looking for advice on a national board if you aren't ready for ALL KINDS of responses.

When I was planning, personally, whenever I had a question about something, chances are, I could find the solution after just thinking rationally about it for a bit, or talking with the Twin or her and our best friend about it. I didn't take my issue to a national message board, because its just not who I am.

If you aren't entertained by that kind of thing, then it isn't the place for you. But I am. And it helps pass the slow times during certain work days. What can I say? I guess I'm a bad person for that? I dunno...