Friday, October 31, 2008

French Fries with Pepper

I've got nothing today. Between the election ridiculous, the weight gain ridiculous, and the work ridiculous, I'm tapped. (As far as the weight gain goes, I'm currently working on it. I have a plan in place. I actually got to the point where I was trying to figure out how to become anorexic, which is bad, so I confessed it to my message board I belong to, and now we're all on a website together, tracking our calories and exercise and stuff. And its fun. So we'll see how that goes.)

For your Treat today (happy Halloween, btw), I've got pictures of the new rug in our master bedroom to share with you. Ordered via Pottery Barn, this rug is the rug of my muthafuckin' dreams. It's enormous, and covers almost the entire room. (It's 9' x 12'...and our room is 10' x 13.5'.) It was kind of a PITA to lay down after we'd already loaded all the furniture in there, but we managed to work it out. I ordered a matching runner for the bathroom, but I havent taken any pictures of that yet. They are both soft, sound-absorbing, and the one in the bedroom covers up the hideousness that is our wood floor in there! Awesome!

I don't know if these pictures do it justice, but here it is!

In case anyone was wondering, it's this rug. I never buy rugs for full price...and the fact that they had a runner that was 9' x 2.5' was perfect for our bathroom. All I'd been able to find until then were 8' long ones, and that was just a tad too short for the place we wanted to put it.

That purchase just about finished up what we planned on getting for the new space. I also bought a couple of side tables for the living room and the guest bedroom, and we need to find a comfy blow-up bed for additional guests that will be coming at Christmastime, but we're gonna hold off a month before we go do that. (Any suggetions on air mattresses that are compact in storage, but comfy for guests to sleep on? We probably will get a full-sized one...let me know if you have any ideas.)
So happy weekend! Go USC! Go KU! Go Notre Dame! And all I can hope for the Texas vs Texas Tech game is that some sort of bloodbath occurs, and no one winds up winning. ::sigh!:: A girl can dream!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What would you have done?

Last night, Leo and I went for a walk with the dogs before dinner, taking advantage of the perfect weather, and trying to wear the dogs out after their already long day at the Playplace.

Close to the finish of our walk, we were on a street a couple of blocks down from our own. As we walked down the street, I noticed a little dog out in the middle of it. He looked scared and confused. As we got closer, he ran back to the other side of the street, watching us as we approached. He was about the same size as our dogs, but skinnier. The house he was at was dark, but their garage was open, and junk was just spilling out of it. I was afraid that maybe he'd escaped the yard, and was thinking of approaching the house to let them know their dog was out. But he was sitting on the porch at that point, just watching us as we walked by. Our dogs were so tired by that point (yay!) that they didn't even react to this sad little guy.

There was also a chair out on their porch...it was a lazy-boy type thing. Not a standard outside chair. There was a mattress falling out of the garage, and lots of other junk that seemed to keep the garage door from being able to be closed. It looked like someone had just thrown all the shit out there in a hasty manner.

I was concerned, and thought we should check with a neighbor to see if they knew the dog's owners, and if they knew what was going on at that house. But all the houses around it seemed dark, too.

Leo just kept walking. He noticed that the people had put their trash out to be collected yesterday morning, so to him, that was a sign that things were fine.

I didn't trust that. I called the police when I got home (not 911...I call the police distpatch for our city instead when it comes to stuff like that), and I asked if they could maybe check it out? If for no other reason than to make sure that puppy was ok. I told them that it looked just like a really weird situation, and they asked if I wanted to be called back, and like a dope, I said no. So I have no idea what the deal was...

Afterward, I got defensive with Leo - not for any reason in particular, but just because I'm me. I said, "You know, if someone came into our house, killed us, and then stole a bunch of stuff, leaving a mess in the garage like that as they left, I'd only hope that our neighbors would be concerned enough to call the police based on what they saw outside! Maybe nothing is wrong...maybe they're just messy and assholeish. At least the police should be able to tell them to take care of their dog!"

He agreed. But I still wonder if I'm a jackass for calling and being all concerned. It didn't look right, though, you know? I just had a funny feeling about it, is all.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? And believe me, I really wanted to walk up to the house and knock on the door. But I was afraid of scaring the puppy into running. I don't think it would have had a problem approaching us if we hadn't had two dogs with us, but since that wasn't the case, I'm sure it wouldn't have come if I'd called to it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The end is finally in sight...I think.

I met with the Home Depot rep today, along with the sales guy that originally sold us the fence we bought. It went well, I think. I apologized to them for my fervor because I assume that I come off as being ridiculously over-emotional about the whole thing, but it just came on the tail-end of the construction, and everything, and its just hard for me to look at one more thing that I have to try to sort out now, is all. They seemed understanding.

I think the whole thing is going to have to be rebuilt, even though I believe they (the fence company that built it) appeared to have hoped to just fix some of the items that they thought I had an issue with. I guess the salesguy thought the only thing I had issue with was the different colors of the fence. I told him I'd sent an email to the chick in his office in St. Louis (which is where his company is located) that outlined waaay more than just that. The gap in the gate doors, the random construction that looked like my 14 year old nephew had put it together after downing a bottle of vodka for the first time, the icky qualty of the wood, etc, etc...the totally different colors on the whole thing was the least of my issues, really, especially after a friend in the construction business assured me that the fence should begin to change color within the next year, and eventally, it will all be more uniform.

I told him that I really disliked the latch on the gate, even. And he said that he had other options he could show me if I'd wanted something different, and was willing to pay a bit more. I was all, "Well, yeah! Why didn't you show me the options when we met? This is the main problem that I have! We went with a guess on a concept of a fence that I had in my head, but it really would have helped if I'd had some options laid out in front of me that I could review, and then see which one I liked and then we could have moved forward from there. But I didnt have that. I had to just assume that you all knew what I meant when I said I wanted a picture-frame construction privacy fence with a gate. And THIS is what happens when you work that way. You get someone that winds up with a product they never would have ordered in the first place!" (See what I mean about the emotion? Yeah, it's hard to contain sometimes...)

Anyway, I'm glad that Home Depot is involved finally. And the chick I met with said she'd get back to me tomorrow. So hopefully, it will be with news about when my new fence will be installed. We'll see...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Not with it today...

I hate Tuesdays. They're like my Mondays when it comes to their enjoyability level, and I just want the day to pass by as quickly as possible.

Today is more difficult than usual. My desk is Grand Central Station, for some fucked up reason, and I really wish people would just leave me the hell alone.

I finally got a call from the Home Depot representative that will be coming over to view the fence that was installed last week. She sounded like a child, and while I know that her voice shouldn't be an issue here, I have to admit that it certainly didn't help. She also was in a space where there was a TON of background noise. That, in conjunction with her high-pitched baby voice, made it difficult for me to hear her. When I mentioned the issue, and asked if she was able to move so I could hear her better, she said she wasn't able to do that, no. Seemed like they quieted a little after that, but then I continued to hear the voices behind her as they rose and then a "shh" would come through, and I was distracted by that.

::sigh:: I'm just so thoroughly disappointed with this whole fence experience, and that phone call didn't help. This is supposedly someone in a managerial position for the region I live in. Instead of speaking to someone who should have some authority, I felt like I was talking to a semi-drunk chick who was calling me from a bar. We're meeting tomorrow to view the fence along with the sales manager from the fence store that built the fucking thing. I just want them to understand where I'm coming from, and hopefully we can resolve this issue...

I'm done. I wanna crawl under a rock for the rest of the day, but I can't. So I'll see y'all around...

Monday, October 27, 2008

By the way...

It's our anniversary today! One year ago at this time (12:30 CST), I was grabbing a bite to eat with my girls (i.e. awesome bridesmaids and Chicks of Honor/Best Women) in my hotel room before I ran off to the church to exchange vows with the best, most wonderful, MOST tolerant man I have ever known.
I feel so blessed to have found someone like Leo to share my life with. And I wish we could have a wedding every year, so I could show him over and over how important he is to me...

I honestly cannot imagine what my life would be like without him in it. He makes me smile, but also understands when I simply do not have it in me to smile, holds me when I cry, and laughs with me at shit like that Bridezilla they've been showcasing the last couple of weeks on that Bridezilla show...I think her name is Cari. Has anyone else seen her? Holy. That's all I have to say about it. Holy, holy, holy. (Leo and I are going to live quite happily in hell together, ok? We already are aware of that fact...)
I love this guy with all my heart, and every fiber of my being. He makes my life more complete than I ever knew it could be. And I can't wait to keep on loving him until the end of time...

Happy Anniversary, honey!

One down, and only infinity to go!

Friday, October 24, 2008

OMG! That's...not possible!

The business that built my fence seems to think there's nothing wrong with the product they delivered. They insist that all wood used was cedar. The are referring me back to Home Depot for mediation, since I am disputing their claim that the fence is just fine and dandy.

I'm shaking I'm so angry and mad and ANGRY about this right now!!!

They are members of the BBB where they're located, so my next step will be a complaint to them about the quality of the poduct they sold to me.

Any other ideas? Please let me know.

OMG, OMG, OMG..so, soooo angry...

Please...stop calling me Faith.

I've decided that it shouldn't just be up to the famous and idiotic to be able to just change the name they wanna go by all the time. JLo went back to being Jenny, PDiddy became JoeBob or something, and now Beyonce wants to be Sasha Fierce...

Dammit, if they can do it, I say I can do it to!

From here on out, I'd like to be known as Smith Delicious. Smiddy for short is fine with me. Thanks.

I bought a new keyboard at Microcenter last night for $4.99. This morning, I was feeling a bit worried about it, because dammed if it didn't still do what the last two keyboards did! Skipping letters all over the fucking place. But now it seems better. So I've either been able to figure out the magical force with which I need to type, or it's been warmed up or something.

I thank the computer lords for their benevolence. And for such a cheap price, too! Let's just hope it sticks, mkay?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

My favorite: Karl Lagerfeld, given a voice by the FUG girls...

I love, love, LOVE when the FUG girls give Karl Lagerfeld some crazy dialogue. This was from today. "The man in the moon needs a lover. Be his concubine. ROMP." Hahahahahahaha!!!

Here's a page full of Lagerfeld & friends. If you have the time, just go and read a bit. I swear it's fucking worth it. Turns out, I've missed a few in the past couple of months. Awesome!

"What AREN'T you wearing, you PISTOL of GLORY! A dolphin, that's what!"

I'm crying. God, I love it when that happens...

Sneaky...and so cute.

Last week, I was finishing my breakfast one morning, and I went to get up and start moving around to finish getting ready for work, but I couldn't find Jake. He wasn't outside...I'd already closed the door after the dogs had been out and started a bark-fest, as is their usual course of action early in the a.m. So I went into the master bedroom, but he wasn't on the bed...so I checked the bathroom and the closet, but he wasn't in either of those places either.

I went back out to the living room, and asked Izzy if she knew where he was. Her eyes just glanced over in my direction, and then back to focus on the people moving on the t.v. as she rested on the pillow that had been behind me when I was on the couch.

Shoot. Where was he? I went and checked the bed in the guest room, as he sometimes jumped up there to grab a rogue toy that had been left there accidentally and chew on it a bit when he was bored. But he wasn't in there either.

I went back to the living room, and looked over at Izzy again. And then I saw that she looked a bit more full in the rear than usual.

Oh! There he was! So sneaky...so, sooo cute!
He had crammed himself in next to Izzy, and then sunk behind the pillow on the couch, so I couldn't really see him at all until he moved his head to a place that was more visible!

See? Crammed in behind pillow.

We need a new couch. We can't go losing puppes in the one we have like that! Poor little dude...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tim Gunn for President

It has been decided by the family that our official write-in candidate for the presidential race this year is Tim Gunn.

Tim Gunn for President! Pass it along!

Tim is diplomatic, worldly, classy, powerful, inspirational, AND he not only has a great style, but has impeccable fashion sense and wisdom to pass on to all he encounters throughout his term in the White House.

He even looks great in a turtleneck and black leather jacket! (Believe me, that's not something everyone can pull off, mkay?)
He's popular enough to have bobblehead dolls made in his image...
But he hasn't let the popularity mess with his need to be serious when its called for... Look how awesome his image would be on a note of currency!
Above all else, he loves the USA. He blesses his country for all the opportunities it has afforded him in life thus far... So go forth and spread the word! Tim Gunn for President! He will be able to handle any crisis with aplomb! His foreign policy experience is wide, and multi-faceted (as one's must be if one has any kind of pull in the fashion industry, as we well know Tim to have), and will serve us well once he's in office! His knowledge of the US and world economy is general, I'm sure, but he's a quick learner, so whatever he needs to do to help in that regard will be done, by golly! He's the right guy for the job, dammit. So write him in on November 4th. Go Tim Gunn!



*All of these images were pulled off the internet by myself for use in my new Tim Gunn for President campaign. If you are the owner of any of these images, and you're pissed that I "borrowed" them like I did, just let me know, and I'll be happy to remove them. Doubtful that you'll find them, but if you do, know that I'm a reasonable person (like Tim Gunn...), and will be happy to comply to any copywrite rules that apply to the images used if requested.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Update to the update on the fence...

Ok, I spoke to the company that installed the fence, and I sent them my pictures so they can see how awful it is.

And then I called Home Depot, which is where we started, through their "Home Services" programs for fences. They are investigating the issue, from the amount of time it took for us to get the fence installed, to the quality of the install itself. They're contacting the installation vendor they use first, and then they'll contact me to schedule a visit to our house to see the fence in person.

There is no way that they can tell me this is the kind of quality they allow their name to be associated with. Especially when you find a picture like this on their main "fence" page on their website for their fence installation services...THAT is the fence I thought I was getting. That is the fence I still want. I'm hoping we'll be able to come to an agreement on this.

Thanks for your comments, everyone! I'm so glad I'm not crazy...

UPDATED: More on the fence...

So I have a call in to the place that installed the fence for us, and I'm waiting to hear back from them right now. In the mean time, I thought I'd give more examples of the hideous mess they installed in our yard.

This, again, is what the gate looks like from the yard. Overall, I undertand the design to it, but I think the variance in the two woods just clashes so hard core, I cannot imagine what the fence builder was thinking.
The bottom of the doors have this...panel, for lack of a better term. I don't get it.
This is the outside of the doors, that face the driveway. Those pieces of wood that are framing in the lattice are cedar 1X4's. Now, I can understand that cedar is going to have a rough feel to it...its in the nature of the wood. But those are staples that attach them to the fence. And the fact that they look like they were intalled by a drunken 12 year old? That's not exactly the quality I was going for on my $3,000 fence, yanno?
The gap. Oooooh, the gap! It starts out as about a 1 inch gap at the top of the doors, and then widens to about 1.5 - 1.75 inch gap at the bottom. How awesome is that?? (Answer: Not awesome. Not at all.)
I've just spoken to the company rep I've been dealing with throughout this process, so I'm going to send her the pictures now. I really hope they agree with me on how awful it looks.

Because I'm not crazy, right? It looks like shit, doesnt it?

UPDATE: For the record, here's what I was picturing when I described the picture-frame cedar fence we wanted to have installed...

Hopefully that helps people understand more about why I'm so disappointed about all this. I mean, besides the obvious uglines of the fence that we received, and all...

Monday, October 20, 2008

Oh, HAYULL NO.

This...
...is our new fence that was finally installed today. Which we ordered in September, and which got started last Tuesday, and wasn't completed at that time. Or in the few days following. We had to wait until today for the posts to properly set, for some unknown reason.

And this is the SHIT we were rewarded with. Unfuckingbelievable.
Don't even get me started on the goddammed 1.5 inch gap in between the two doors. And WTF is going on at the bottom of the right door?
What the FUCK is going on???
They...ran out of wood, and just cut a small little piece to add on there like that? That's the side that faces the goddammed driveway! They couldn't at least save the shitty side for the side that faces the fucking yard? Which, btw, looks like this:I ordered a 100% cedar fence. Leo says that other wood is pine. I dunno. It looks significantly nicer than the cedar, but I think the cedar will do ok over time. I just...don't understand the two different wood types.

And on the left hand side there...the extra finishing with the 2X4, or whatever, across the top of the part that doesn't open? That looks nice. The fact that it makes the doors uneven from it does NOT.

For comparison's sake, look at how nice the other side looks. There isn't a gate in this side. I guess that made it...easier, or something? I still hate what they fucking used for the lattice. That's just not cedar...not at all. And that is fucked the hell up.

Here it is from the inside, where the difference between the cedar and the pine is beyond obvious.


AUGH! We paid over $3,000 for this shit, along with the replacement of the chain link between our house and the neighbor to the south of us, and I am PISSED. Pissed, pissed, PISSED!!!!

They aren't getting away with this. This monstrosity WILL BE replaced. AUGH!

Free puppy to good home!

You know how you have a mellow weekend, get your hair done, watch some rockin’ football, see your friends and stuff…and then make yummy dinner on Sunday night, and watch a great t.v. show that sucks you in for 3 hours*, and then you go to bed wayyy too late thanks to aforementioned t.v. show, and as you’re getting ready to hit the sheets, you realize that a dog has peed on them?

Isn’t that fun when it happens? (The answer here is no. No it is not.)

Anyone want a loveable (sometimes), cuddly, curly-haired (and hypo-allergenic!!!) shihtzu-poodle mix? He’s fixed! And is up to date on his shots! And the emphasis on the “shiht” is only evident about 73% of the time, I swear. He’s awesome the rest of the time. Aaaannnd…he can jump super-high in the air. Not sure if that’s a selling point or not, but I thought I’d mention it just in case.



Ok, to be fair, he peed on the comforter. And it only barely soaked through to the mattress, so there was only a small spot about the size of a quarter that had to dry overnight after he did his deed, so it could have been worse, I suppose. We have the kind of mattress that can’t be flipped over, so that wouldn’t have been an option had the comforter not soaked up most of the mess. And the comforter cover and sheets can totally be washed, so the game for the day is not Death to the Poodle as it might have been otherwise. Yes, the comforter is working on drying out after being sufficiently doused with magical animal mess clean-up potion and then patted dry. And we’re hoping that does the trick. (The stuff smelled really nice! So that was a plus. I can’t remember what it is…one of those Oxy-type cleaners that you spray on a spot on upholstery or carpet after an “accident” has happened. Maybe it’s from Clorox? I can’t remember…) Because I really, really don’t want to have to buy a new comforter.

Of course, he did all of this on MY SIDE of the bed. Jerk. I even saved him from the Yard Where Things Go to Die and the street after he got out twice yesterday! (We’re still waiting on our new lovely fence install to be completed. Should happen today. If not, well, there will be more than just shihtzu-poodle mix heads rolling around the Smith household, I can tell ya that!) And how does he repay me? By peeing right next to my fucking pillow? HUH? How is that a fair exchange at all? It’s not. That’s how.

Leo went to bed thinking about whether we should give him away or not, but I woke up and forgave him by giving him hugs. He can’t remember what happened, I’m sure, and at this point, all he knows is he didn’t get to sleep in the old bed with all of us last night. I told Leo that he needs to be nice to him today, and forget about what happened last night. Jake has a teeny, tiny dog brain and no short term memory at all. So all he can think about is why he didn’t get to sleep with us and Izzy last night. We need to move on. As humans, it’s important that we take the high road, you know?


*We got disc one of that show “Jericho” in the mail over the weekend. We started watching it last night after we finished the last season’s finale for Ugly Betty. So we were up until about 11 watching it, because I couldn’t stop. I was riveted. Good stuff…

Friday, October 17, 2008

Slightly disappointing...

Let me start with the good before I move into the bad. This is a Friday, btw. There shouldn't even be any bad. But whatever...

Two weeks ago, this is what our back lawn looked like:



And here's what it looks like as of two days ago...


It is amazing what a little aerating, overseeding, and fertilizing can do for the yard. We do have some bare patches in the midst of all that green, so we're still having a muddy paw phenomenon occurring with the puppies, but I'm hoping that will be over within the next couple of weeks.
See...when you take a picture right over it, you can see the bare spots pretty well. But we're on our way to having our yard back! That's the important thing. (Twin! Boche! WOO!!!)

Yesterday, the carpet was installed in the closet. I was so, soooo excited to see it when I got home, I went running into the bathroom, and found this...

So what? you might be saying. Looks lovely!

Yeah, but maybe not so much when you're actually expecting this pattern:
In the brown color on the end of the 2nd row on this board...
::sigh!:: Leo isn't sure what happened. He was the one I entrusted with the picking out of the carpet, because the store we needed to get it from was open during hours that I work. And at that time, taking an hour off in the afternoon to go pick out carpet wasn't something I could do, what with work being as busy as it was and all. So Leo and I went to Home Depot and found the Stainmaster "Premium" style above, and I was all, "Ooh! I like this in the brown!" And he was all, "Ooh! Me too!" So I told him to go to the store with that in mind for our carpet...and if it was out of budget (we were asked to keep it below $18 per square foot), then find something similar in a lower price range. He went to the store, and was all excited because he found it! And it was in our price range! YAY!

So how the FUCK did we end up with the flat, brown, boring carpet in the closet? I know...it seems like something stupid for me to get upset about, but you have to remember, I've designed this thing pretty much from start to finish. And this was the finish. And I was very excited to see my uber-cool patterned carpeting installed in our new space. And we wound up with...Boring.
At least it matches the color scheme, right? ::sigh...again::

Moving on to Things That Make Me Happy, Leo installed our curtains a little over a week ago. And the stripe around the room was fixed. And the bedroom just needs to be finished up in little ways like having the rug laid down as soon as it arrives (ordered yesterday, after much hemming and hawing over what to purchase...), and I need to find the perfect bench to go over by my side of the bed, and we need to hang some photos and stuff, and things will be in a good place, I think.
Sorry for the state of the bedding. Sometimes I make it all the way, and sometimes I don't. I also took these pictures at the end of the day one day instead of mid-day, so I'm not sure if they're too dark.

But the curtains are GORGEOUS! I bought them at Bed, Bath & Beyond...they were on the higher end of the price scale for the curtains they have there, but they're fully lined (in heavy fabric, which is awesome) silk curtains. So they were bound to be a bit pricey. They are PERFECT. I love them. Maybe I'll take some better pics of them this weekend...

This week was the week our garbage pick-up changed to happening on Wednesday instead of Friday. Unfortunately, I didn't find that out until my neighbor was dropping me off after work last night and saw our trashcan that Leo had put out at the end of the drive for today's pick up. He goes, "Oh...did you guys get the memo about trash day changing to Wednesday?" And I was all, "Um, nooo. No memo. When does that kick in?" And he goes, "Two days ago. They started it this week." Sheeit. So I go inside and tell Leo, and told him to please put out the rest of the trash in the morning, because of course this happened the week we cleaned out the garage, and have a ton of trash to get rid of! I planned on calling Defenbaugh (our local disposal company) and asking them to please swing by and get our trash, as we never received any memo...

But this morning, I load the dogs up to head to the playplace and notice that the rest of the trash is still in the garage. Whatever...I tried to haul it out myself, but its the can that the wheels have fallen off of, and Leo has loaded it up with so much shit, I can't move it myself. Instead, I manage to tip it over against my car. And dust and glass and shit goes EVERYWHERE. Yeah, he got a pretty angry phone call from me about that mess. I left it lying in the garage and told him to please clean it up when he gets home today.

Oh, and the fence that started to get installed earlier this week? Yeah, I just got info this morning that it might not get finished until MONDAY. Um, no. I called them back and I told them that the salesperson told me that the process would take a max of TWO DAYS. They started the install on Tuesday, and it is now Friday, and while it did rain a bit overnight into Wednesday, it's been dry enough for all the cement and shit holding the posts up to set for more than 24 hours, and I want my fence installed TODAY. I am pissed. Pissed, pissed, pissed.

So I'm going to go get a super-expensive fucking iced tea from the coffee shop downstairs, and try to mellow out. Because this is NOT how a Friday should be! ::runs off crying...::

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Well...time to chat.

I've started carpooling to work with my neighbor. He literally lives next door to me, and we work at the same place, so we started driving in to work together twice a week as of this week. I drive Tuesday, and he drives Thursday. It's weird not having my car here with me at the office. But it's nice to know that I can save the gas one day a week. I'm getting greener and greener all the time! Go me!

Today, the carpet is being installed in our closet, and I'm really excited to see it when I get home, and take pictures to show everyone! So watch for those tomorrow.

But right now, I want to talk about something near and dear to my heart. I discovered it last year, and I shared how I felt then, but it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to discuss it.

It's how Kelly Wearstler gets all ca-RAZY with the way she dresses/does her hair on the show "Top Design" on Bravo. I love that show, and I'll have you know that I got a 100% on their Pop Design quiz they gave the contestants last night, because I kick ass. (For those of you who don't know WTF I'm talking about, just stay with me...the pictures are worth a thousand words AND laughs, so it's well worth your time, I think.)

Let's just get right to it. This is what made me fall in love with Kelly last year:

Ok, unfortunately, that picture doesn't show off the outfit she was wearing all that well. I wrote a post about how she made me feel during last season, so read it here for the full effect. That was one of several posts, just as an FYI. Anyway, this woman is some sort of icon in the interior design/fashion world...

No, no...don't laugh Kelly. You know it's true! Don't worry...I don't get it either! Particularly because you wear shit like this:

Yes, I know that designing a room and designing the outfit you put on that morning are two totally different things, but they kind of go hand in hand to a certain extent, you must admit. I look at what you choose to wear much of the time, and I know I'd never wanna hire you to decorate anything for me, and I know I can't be alone on that! But hey, at least you make me laugh...

I mean, THAT is the outfit you chose to wear for judging panel this week? Really??? Ok. Let's see what your co-judge, Margaret, chose to wear...

OMG. So sweet...so chic! I love that dress. LOVE. So let's review your outfit again, mkay?

Oh, holy hell, what is UP with the blue socks and the bright turquoise shoes??? WHAT THE FUCK???

No...don't get me started on the toque, ok? I just can't even imagine going there right now. Not at all. What's that? You say that isn't the best picture of the toque anyway, and I'm not being fair? Oh, ok...I'll try another shot to see if I can get more on board...

Aaaannnd, it's still a no, I'm afraid, my slightly-less-stick-figurey-than-last-season-but-still-frighteningly-thin friend. The hat. must. go.

Anyway, it still makes me laugh when I see the crazy, and that's important to me. There was much pausing and rewinding last night during the show because I was laughing over what was being shown in the roms that had been designed, and I couldn't miss that stuff just because you chose to dress like a muppet on crack this week, now could I? No.

But keep it up! Thank god for Tivo and the ability to pause. I just love your weird little ass...