Wednesday, December 31, 2008

For the record!

Ok, for the record, this is the ONLY Christmas photo I have. Because I took it with my phone when we went out to the Moose that night. Before I got in that fight with the stupid old guy who was totally HOGGING the juke box and we had to leave before I kneed him in his balls. (Also for the record, kneeing an old guy in his balls, even if he is being a douche about the juke box, is not a very Christmasy thing to do.) It's of Leo and his brother, who both received almost identical sweaters for Christmas from different members of the family. (I gave Leo his, and his brother got his from the parents.) We thought it was funny for them to wear them out together that night. We're jackasses.
The black dots all over their chests are little bumpers that came with the speakers that Leo got me (yay!) for Christmas, but which were not used as we don't intend to hang the speakers on the wall. Which is when the bumper thingies come in handy. Anywho...

I received a camera for Christmas too. Unexpecedly. It's pretty cool. So we took pictures with it all day and the following day as well. But our computer is being weird right now, not sure why, and I can't get any of the USB ports to work, so I can't move the pics from the camera to the computer, and so it sucks. And that is why that photo above is the only one I have. For now. I'll probably be able to put up our pictures sometime in February, and then we can all celebrate the holidays together all over again, ok? Wheeee!

Ok, now I need some help. From everyone...not just the Twin, Nuke, and Coley if she happens to be passing through. (Hi Coley!) Why aren't you people commenting anymore? Am I that much of a dud? Or is everyone depressed about Erin leaving? I mean, shit...chick will still blog. She'll still be funny in DC! (You better still be funny in DC, Erin, or I will fly out there to kick your ass into the funny! Ok? Ok.)

Wait...is it comments like that one I just made about flying out to kick Erin's ass that is keeping people from being vocal? If so, let me know! I won't care, but it'll be a comment at least, so that's good.

Alright, back to the help I need. See, I got my hair cut last night. It's shorter than usual, and I like it...that's not the issue. It's that Leo didn't comment about it at. all. when I got home last night. That's a problem for me. I'm trying to figure out if he's sick, or if he's broken in some way, so tell me, does it look different to you?

For reference, here's what it looked like last Monday...
See? It was LONG. And shaggy. And not sweet and cute and prim in any way whatsoever.

Am I crazy for expecting my husband to say something?

Ohandplusalso, for the record, all you husbands/boyfriends out there: if your wife/girfriend goes to the hairdresser, and you know she went to the hairdresser, and then she comes home and you don't say anything about her hair being cute? She WILL think that you hate it. It doesn't matter if you don't see a difference, or if you actually hate it, or it looks like a crazy person took a break with a pair of scissors on her hair, just tell her you think she looks pretty. Because she might just hold your non-comment against you, and then she won't want to have sex with you for a while. Now, if you don't like sex, then this is a good tactic. Go for it. Ignore her hair or say you think it looks like shit. That should do the trick for you. However, if you are like most guys on the planet and you enjoy the nookie, then tell her she looks pretty/cute/adorable/whatever so that she gets a reaction from you that will be positive for you both. Believe me, if she looks like shit, a friend of hers will say something to her as soon as they grow the balls to do it. Or she'll figure it out on her own. You know you'd do her anyway, so why do you care what her hair looks like, right? DUH!

I'm also thinking I might be over the bangs at this point, and might wanna try to start growing them back out soon. What's the opinion there? I love them when my hair looks like it does now...they're perfect with this haircut. But when it starts to grow out a bit, like it did in that photo above, I look more matronly, and I hate looking matronly. Should I grow them out, and just have a normal swing-bob?

Oh, and Happy New Year! I amost forgot about that, I was so wrapped up in my own shit...Ha!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Laughing....so....hard....

Sometimes, we get bored on the message board I'm on. Sometimes, in that boredom, people start doing awesome things. Like making fun of people they used to know through the viewing of their Facebook photos. Here's how my favorite one went down today...



Kate says: "Jason, a guy that I went to highschool with...


I don't have anything to say."

Mer responds: "Probably not the question I should have, but what the heck is going on with Jesus? He's not on a cross, and it's jarring to me. It's like he's rock climbing, but backwards."

Now, I hadn't noticed the Jesus on the wall in the background before Mer pointed it out, probably much like you guys hadn't, I'm willing to bet. When I scrolled back up to look, and the whole "rock climbing, but backwards" bit came to mind, I about lost my shit.

Then Dani says: "[Mer] just made me snort and Nancy said bless you."

Nancy is this idiot woman Dani works with that sits on the other side of the cube wall from her. We like to crank call Nancy sometimes and make Dani laugh.

What Mer had said about the Jesus thing was bad enough, but then I saw what Dani said about Nancy blessing her when she snorted, and I lost it even further.

Faithifer says: "Hahaha! I'm laughing so hard at that right now, I need to get up and get some water. I can barey see the keyboard."

I missed the fact that I'd spelled "barely" wrong, I was laughing so hard.

This is a moment in the life of the message board. Without which I would have lost my mind several times over the last 7 months. Jesus blesses this message board, even though we make fun of that one statue of him, I assure you...

Monday, December 29, 2008

Boatloads of fun...continued!

A couple of weeks ago, I updated everyone on the latest with the house addition...the inspection, and the failing of said inspection, etc, etc...

I was excited that the city would be following up with our contractor, telling him to fix the issues, so we could all get on with life already!

Apparently, I'm stupid. (shut up!) That is not how this process works. Dammit.

I hadn't heard anything from the contractor at all since the inspection occurred, which surprised me a bit. I thought he'd at least send me an email bitching about having to fix something. But nothing...nada. So I tried calling the city last week to follow up, and see what kind of deadline he had to fix the issues they found, but no one answered the phone. I gave up and figured I'd call back this week.

I finally got a hold of a woman who was very nice, and subsequently had to put up with my rant after she told me the following info: Yes, they send a report to the person who filed for the permit in the first place - namely our contractor in the case of our addition. Yes, they tell him what's caused the inspection to fail. And then they give the permit an extension for SIX MONTHS due to the inspection occurence.

Um, whatthefuck?

So, I ask if the contractor has a specific deadline to meet with regards to the fixes he must complete on the failed report? I mean, I'd love for them to be taken care of within the next two weeks, especially since one of them involves allowing freezing cold air to enter the addition (which is tough to heat sufficiently in the first place...doesn't really need the help with cooling it down, dammit!), and everything. Since they aren't life-and-death type issues, I'm not trying to be unreasonable. But it IS about 25 degrees outside on average right now, so one of the issues is kind of life-and-death with regard to my paycheck every month.

No. No he doesn't have to meet a deadline. They just tell him the issues, and then when he completes the fixes...scratch that - IF he completes the fixes, we call for reinspection, and everyone moves on with their lives. He has another 6 months right now. After that, nothing really happens. I guess I would finally have reason to file a complaint with the Contractor Licensing Board, if nothing else.

So I was finally connected with the manager of the inspectors. We talked for a bit. He clarified what I already knew. He told me that if money is owed, there isn't much they can do for me. I clarified for him what the issue was with the money. That the contractor has already tried the extortion/blackmail thing, and it failed to work with me. I told him about the contract we both signed, and which the contractor tried to change on me a month later. He told me that at least I had a contract...a lot of people aren't smart enough to get that before they pay someone for work to be done. (Which still amazes me. Fucking idiots.) Then he told me he'd contact the inspector and ask him to call my contractor. He asked for his contact info. I told him his name, and he said, "Wait a minute...I just got off the phone with that guy 10 minutes ago! He was complaining about a house being built at 183rd and Goddard." I told him that's where he lives, so I wonder what the deal is. Anyway, coincidences aside, I hope they're able to get somewhere with it, because I don't want to have to deal with this. Goddammit, I have had enough of it already! AAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

If I have to, I'll send the jackass an email. And if he refuses to fix the issue, I'll warn him that I will have to have someone else come out and fix it, and I'll send him the bill. And if he doesn't comply with that, then I'll take him to small claims. Simple as that.

Yeah. Real simple.

Fuck.

My max limit is two days...

The long weekend is over. Over, over, over...

And its a wee bit of a relief.

I mean, there were some very fun moments, of course. Drinking, laughing, relaxing, and stuff...all good.

But there were some un-fun moments as well. Uninvited commentary, a possibly broken home computer, more uninvited commentary, a fucking random-ass and scary as FUCK storm on Saturday morning, and then with a whoosh and a pop, it was all quiet again, and only one additional family member was left in the house. And they (my husband and his brother) slept until 11 a.m. (Separately, of course!) And I watched HGTV all stretched out on my couch. And it was a peaceful time.

I'm not good at the hostessing thing, it seems. Maybe I'll be better when we have a bigger house, and people don't receive brand new iPod's for Christmas and want to load things on them right away even though it isn't their home computer to load stuff from. (For those who don't have an iPod, or have had the pleasure of trying to load multiple iPods on one computer, just know that its not fun. The results can be tricky and seem complicated to clean up. Yep. FUN.) Maybe things will be better when my youngest bro-in-law is older, and not so....teenagery. I dunno. Because no matter what, there will always be the father-in-law! Jeezy.

In the mean time, I'm going to go back to my quiet day in the office. Wondering what everyone else is doing these last few days of 2008...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A bit cheesy, but its just on my mind, ok?

This morning, as I pulled out of my garage and started down the street, I turned up the Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown Christmas CD that I had finally remembered to bring with me, and got a big grin on my face. A nice amount of snow fell while I was sleeping...only about 3/4 of an inch in our area, it seemed, so getting to work wouldn't be a problem, and it was such a pretty sight on a nice, sunny (but cold!) Christmas Eve morning.

Even with a hangover brought on by too much celebrating the arrival of the in-laws with too many different alcohols until 12:30 last night, you couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I thought about why I was feeling so happy...and I realized that it wasn't any one thing in particular, but a bunch of things that pushed my mood into a cheerful direction.

My father will celebrate the 1 year mark with his new lung in February. ONE YEAR. It's flabbergasting, and amazing, and something I am so, sooo grateful for, I honestly can't find the proper way to express it in written words. Imagine a tearful hug, mixed with overjoyed laughter, and a brain feeling like its going to burst, it can hardly contain the thoughts of how pleased it is with an incredible event of lifesaving proportions, and you might be able to figure out how I feel. He's getting better and better with every passing month, which is nothing short of a miracle to me. I am so thankful and happy and overjoyed that he is still here with us and living life just like he always has. So thankful.

My Twin has a new job. Actually, she has two right now. Not sure how long she'll keep that up, but after, what? 10 months or so of searching, she's found two places to work where she not only makes money to be able to take care of herself and her girls with, but she really likes the people she gets to work with and the job she gets to do. Its incredible, and wonderful, and makes me feel more complete than I have in a long time. I know its not about me...not at all. But see the part above where I mention that she's my twin. Its a twin thing. Again, not sure how to explain it in words. (Man, I'm good with the writing skeeills today, eh? Jeezy. :P)

And finally, my husband hasn't given up on me yet. He's stuck with me through all the moods, all the tantrums, all the shushing-him-and-his-snoring in the middle of the night like a trooper, and I love him so very much for it, I could cry. I don't know why he does it. Could it be the boobs? Might be the boobs...

So I wish everyone well as we roll up this year that's been filled with a lot of tough days, tear-filled nights, happy circumstances, and medical marvels. I'll be back next week to write about bowl games and to tell stories about the jam-packed house we have through Saturday, I'm sure. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The *other* blog

I've updated the other blog with more pictures of the master bedroom in the house, now that we've completely completed it, in case anyone cares to check it out. I'll have another post there tomorrow about another design trend for 2009 that I dig, and possibly about one that I don't dig. Again, in case you're interested in that kind o' stuff.

Wait...wha? Shhhh!

I srsly think I'm the only one here on my floor toda-

Wait! I just heard a cough! ::runs to find other people in the vast wilderness of cubes::

Monday, December 22, 2008

A sigh of relief. A BIG one.

Well. Does everyone remember that whole fence debacle that I told y'all about in October? If not, and you want to know more, then go here and here to read about it.

They came last week to finally rebuild the new fence. The company that built the first one agreed not to charge us for additional materials and labor (um, yeah! DUH.), but we did upgrade the hardware, so that will be an additional $250, if they ever get the paperwork to me for it. If they don't, well that would be a nice bonus and a perfect gift for making me wait over 2 months from the time they delivered the first fence to us in such an unacceptable state.

For the record, here's what it looked like, on the side of the house were we have the gate entrance to the yard...
Yeeaaaahhh...*eh-em* I think maybe someone was high when they built that thing.

The same guy came out to build the replacement, and don't think I wasn't just a teensy bit worried about what would happen! But it worked out ok. They managed to pick wood that MATCHED, and was more uniform in color, which helped so, soooo much with the overall appearance of the fence. And they also did everything level across the top, like I asked them to...
Amazingly, it looks like an actual professional built this fence for us! The fact that it was the same guy that built that first one and this one as well? Well, it just baffles me, to be frank.

Here is the way the fence looked on the south side of the house. It wasn't terrible, but again, the non-uniformity of the wood, as well as the fact that it wasn't level on top, really chapped my hide...
Rebuilt as per my specifications...
See? Soooo, so much better.

We're very happy that everything was resolved. FINALLY.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I went to the mall. Yeah. I KNOW.

I ordered a pair of pants from the Gap last week that arrived yesterday. (I actually ordered several pairs of pants from both Old Navy and Gap...I needed new khakis for the job at West Elm, and I needed more jeans, because I'm rotating between 2 pair right now and it's annoying.) They were ENORMOUS though, so I had to return them. To the MALL. ::screams in terror:: I figured if I didn't do it now, I would wind up waiting too long to be able to get my money back for them, so I just sucked it up and went. I had to go to Nordstrom anyway. I needed some new shoes, and the shit they have online isn't doing it for me. (I tend to buy my shoes exclusively from Nordys and Aerosoles. I'm weird like that.)

I hate going to the mall in the wintertime. Why? Because after parking outside and schlepping from one end to the other to get to the Gap, and then stopping in at Limited to grab a replacement tank top (and a couple of other tops...what? Everything is 25% off today! It was fucking awesome!) for one that I've had for too long now and is finally showing the wear, and then going into Vic's Secret to see if they had the bras I needed to get since mine are on their last legs (straps?), and they also had a crazy $29.99 bra sale going on that can't be passed up, only to find that half the fucking mall was in there at the same time, and they only had the bra I needed in one color in my size, and I wasn't standing in that damned line for one goddammed bra, and then heading back down to the other end of the mall to Nordys to peruse their shoe section...

::takes big heaving breath::

...I was a sweaty, puddly MESS.

I'd had to take my coat off in Limited to try on the clothes. And I dabbed my brow with my handkerchief there. And then I just kept my coat off, but by the time I got into Vic's Secret, I was sweating even more profusely. And then by the time I got to Nordstrom, I just felt bad for the girl who waited on me. I must have looked disgusting, for chrissakes.

And that is why I hate shopping in wintertime. It was frigid outside when I went in. Even the walk from the car to the store would have been pretty unbearable without my coat, so I didn't even think to leave it in the car. And I also didn't think to bring my smaller purse with me today for the trip to the mall, so I had my Purse That Holds the World with me, and as I was carrying around the whole world, well, it was like walking around with an extra 15 pounds on my arm by the time I took my coat off and carried it with me.

At least I got a decent workout, right? I mean, I sure hope all that sweat wasn't for naught!

I'm so glad that the shoes that I want can be shipped to my house. (They didn't have my size in the store...so they ordered them for me there, and ship them to me for free! I love Nordstrom...) I don't wanna have to go back to the mall for a long, loooong time! It sucks there.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Hahahahaha! In case you're thinking of cheating...

Maybe you should give it a second thought...






Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Who knew it would happen so soon?

Ok, my mood has completely done a 180. Thanks to this. You MUST watch it. So, so effing CUTE! (Warning, it has sound attached...Harry Connick, Jr, no less. Which was perfect, IMO.)

Here...

I thought maybe a visual aid would be helpful when it comes to trying to understand my state of mind right now. I got up earlier from my desk, saw DevilDomo hanging in his spot I put him in back before Halloween, and thought, "Yes. Exactly!" So I thought I'd share.
If you don't get it, you don't get it. No skin off my back.

Let's just hope that things turn around in the next couple of days, mkay? I know I sure as hell do. Its one thing to endure this mood from the outside. Believe me, it is sooo much less fun from the inside...

I give in.

I do not like the person I am right now.

On Monday, after I went to my first ever kickboxng class, I went home and freaked out on Leo because he'd gone shopping for Christmas presents that day, and had sat wrapping them throughout the day. There were a bunch of them, and I asked if he needed name tags to put who they were for on them...we don't usually do that, but because this year his family will be joining us for the holiday, we need to get them.

But he told me all of the presents were for me.

Um, HELL no.

I flipped. I've had to get a 2nd fucking job in order to help pay down the debt we accrued over the last year, thanks to the construction on the house, and I warned him a couple of weeks ago that I bought him 2 things...cheesy things at that!...and that as much as I'd like to, I cannot afford to buy him anything else for Christmas this year. That camera we want? Yeah, its gonna have to wait another couple of months. Sorry!

I told him that if he had the money to spend on those presents, then why the HELL wasn't he giving me more to help pay toward the credit card?

Apparently, the stress release that people generally get from attending a kickboxing class didn't take for me.

I went into the bathroom...the overly huge, ridiculously expensive, stupid fucking bathroom that we had added onto the house...and I started to cry. I felt bad. But I also felt freaked out. So I got in the shower and tried to calm down. And then I apologized to Leo. I didn't want him to feel bad for trying to do nice things! But I explained to him that I have never, EVER, been in this much debt. And it scares the living daylights out of me. And it IS all on me. Everything is. The credit card is in MY name. The house mortgage is in MY name. The Home Depot fucking credit card is in MY name. It's all. on. me.

And its painful to think about sometimes.

I'm being mean to everyone around me, it seems. The dogs, Leo, the random people I run into on the street or in Target or whatever.

I just don't like me right now. And I don't know when that feeling will go away. I don't know how to make that feeling go away. Will it get better when I can start paying down a more significant portion of the debt we owe? Will it get better after I get to see my family and take a little vacation in February? Will it get better when I find out whether or not I'll have my job anymore after January has come and gone? I don't know.

I'm scared. And I want to cry.

Happy holidays, indeed.

*FYI, I've closed the comments on this post...should have from the beginning. I don't need advice...I'm good on getting out of this spot, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts while I'm in it. And fuck if I dont know that there are less fortunate people than me out there, ok? Jeezy. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but see above comment about how I don't like myself right now. I certainly don't expect anyone else to, either. This was meant as a vent. Not a cry for help.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Snow Day!

It's cold and snowy out, so we're staying in for the day. Fortunately, I brought my computer home for the possible occurrence of a snowy situation just like this. An I also have my phone handy to take cute pictures like this one...
Aawwwww! Wait...why am I left out in the cold? Shit. Mean ol' puppies...

Monday, December 15, 2008

On the contractor front...

Last week, I got an email from my contractor. I saw it flash up in the corner of my screen as it came in, and I didn't wanna look at it. I'm tired of the guy. Don't care if I never hear from him again. (For the record, and for those who are either unaware of WTF I'm talking about and/or were drunk when they read it the first time and have thusly forgotten what occurred, you can read about the last bits of communication between me and the contractor here and here.) However, I did just put up a rather scathing review of him over at the website that I found him through, so I wasn't sure what to expect when he was notified about it. (The service asked if they could contact him to get his side of the story, since I gave him such a low rating. I figured it was only fair.)

Anyway, it wasn't anything to be worried about after all. Here's what he said:

"you need to call 895-6220 ext 2 and reference [random number] to give them a time to do a final inspection when someone will be there to let the inspector in."

I wrote back, "Will do! I guess I’ll have to find out from them what the inspection is for and who they are. Thanks!"

He saw fit to write back to me, apparently realizing that his note was a bit cryptic and ambiguous, even though I'd already called the number and knew what it was all about by the time he responded saying, "they always do a final inspection on the work we did. it is the city of overland park."

Oh, they always do a final inspection. Silly me! Having never had something like this done before, and all, I should have been able to just figure that out! Plus, the project hasn't been completed for over 2 months, or anything, so it's not like the timing is weird. Nah...

So the inspector came by today, and Leo called me to let me know what he'd found and to ask me what I wanted to do about it. Apparently, there's a hole under our bathtub in the bathroom that leads into the crawlspace, and it isn't insulated. At all. So when the guy opened the access panel under the tub and was met with a blast of freezing fucking air, he figured out what the problem was right away.

The guy wanted to know if we wanted to fix it ourselves, or if we wanted to tell the contractor to do it, which would mean he would fail inspection. I didn't heistate to say, "Fail his ass! Are you kidding me? Why the HELL would I wanna fix something that is his damned misake? Fail, fail, FAIL!" And then I had to go, because I was in a meeting when Leo called me, so I called him back later to find out that our electrical panel in the garage also has some loose ends - literally - that need to be cleaned up, so that caused a fail as well.

Neither issue is life-threatening, apparently, even though that elctrical issue clearly isn't something we can fix ourselves, but that was why the guy asked if we wanted to deal with the insulation thing on our own. Hell to the no. Fuck. That. Shit.

I haven't received any kind of lawsuit notice from him, though, so I'm hoping that means he realized he had a no-win kind of complaint against me. Who knows. He might decide to just wait until the new year to come after me. Anyway, just wanted to update on that, since it's so fun and all. Woo.

::teeth chattering::

Ok, it is WAY too fucking cold out for it to be December right now. Did I miss a couple of weeks? Is it January already and no one told me? Holy SHIT it is cold out!

That's all for now. I've been in my office for 20 minutes already, and I'm still trying to thaw. More later, I'm sure...Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Friday, December 12, 2008

BAH!

I can't access blogger today at work, for some reason. Its giving me some bullshit Google error when I try...something about me looking like spyware or a virus trying to access it? I dunno. Its stupid. I even went so far as to log off the machine and then log back on, and cleared my history and cookies from my browser. No good. Whatever. That's what a Blackberry is good for!

I just wanted to tell everyone that I got that 2nd job at West Elm that I wanted. Should start in the next couple of weeks, I hope. Its not big bucks or anything, but it'll help. And I'm just a lowly stockgirl, so its nothing glamorous, either, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Mine might be spent in the bathroom...we'll see. I ate a turkey burger for lunch that might have been cooked improperly...not sure yet. Seemed ok, for the most part. I'll get back to you if anything happens. Because food poisoning is FUN!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

News from the left lane...

I found this story interesting. I don’t know if it’s because I’m from California, or because I’m just smart, but I have always been aware of the fact that the left lane on a highway – or in any case, really…even on a sidestreet…is considered to be the “passing lane.” They kind of taught it to us when I was learning how to drive. So, yeah…

Anyway, I’m sure the phenomena of getting pissed off at someone who’s just driving in the passing lane isn’t exactly a foreign one to most of us, but I think the guy in the article that specifically says that he gets a decent reaction to his sign that says “REVO EVOM” (or “MOVE OVER” in reverse, so it can be read properly from the rear-view mirror of the car in front of him…brilliant!) is right about his approach. Not tailgating, and remaining somewhat courteous is the smart way to do it. Particularly with that sign involved. If you don’t have the sign? Well, I’ve found that a simple thumb motion to the right can help. Sometimes it doesn’t, though.

Anyway, I think the major problem is the people who aren’t aware of the law in most states. Or of just the courteousness of the idea of only using that left lane as a passing lane. Years ago (1998), I had to go to traffic school in order to get out of a ticket and the points it would put on my license if I didn’t attend. In California, we have that option. Not sure if they do it anywhere else. It was the last ticket that I’ve received, actually. But it was a doozy. I had caused an accident by running a red light. I got t-boned. Everyone was fine, but it sucked nonetheless. (And I still say that light was yellow! But I really wouldn’t know for sure…I wasn’t looking at it. I was searching for a shoe store that I had been told was having an awesome sale. And in doing so, I just drifted through the intersection, following the traffic in front of me, thinking that the light was still green. Oops!) So I went to traffic school and served my time.

One of my favorite parts of traffic school is when we go around the room and find out why everyone is there. My reason, as was the case for most of the participants, was relatively boring…we were all there for speeding, or for causing small accidents, etc...But there was one guy – a small Japanese man who couldn’t have been a day under 60 – who was sitting in the front of the room. And when it came time for him to share, the police officer running the class said, “Oh, you guys are gonna love this one. Go ahead…tell them all why you’re here.”

He started to stammer out his explanation, and seemed a bit confused, to be honest. We were all hanging on his answer, though, thanks to the introduction by the police officer! He finally managed to say, “I don’t understand. I’m here to make license ok!” So the police officer had to explain it for him instead. Because, srsly, this dude did not have a single clue why he had gotten a ticket, or why he had to attend traffic school, or anything.

So the police officer told us, “He was pulled over for going 55 on the freeway.” Ok…not bad, even though the speed limit on most freeways in California was 65 at that time. Then he continued, “…in the CARPOOL LANE. When there was no traffic halted at all.”

"Oooooh!" we all groaned. And the man looked around the room and stammered a bit more about how he “did nothing wrong” and “was going under speed limit!”

Oh, small, stupid man. So lucky he didn’t get a wedgie from one of the speeders during a bathroom break.

This was a prime example of someone who (a) had no fear for his life on an LA freeway, (b) didn’t understand what the carpool lane is used for, much less the far left lane next to the carpool lane, and (c) thought that going under the speed limit was a GOOD thing. Um, no. No it isn’t.

That was the class where I learned that the best lane to travel in if you want to go under or at speed limit is the 2nd lane over on the freeway. That way, you allow for traffic to get on and off the freeway without being in their way, and you give people plenty of room to get around you if they want. (Which, lets face it, they probly will.) Hopefully, that small, aging Japanese man took that lesson to heart as well. Dude could have gotten himself, and whoever was with him, killed doing shit like that!

In related news, the drive home last night sure was fun. Took me about twice as long as it usually does…not terrible, but not nice either. Hope everyone else faired well after that storm moved through!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

That doesn't add up...

Its supposed to snow starting...well, now, until later this afternoon. There's a huge blue mass showing over the area on Weather.com, and it's coming down fairly hard outside my office right now (almost 10:30 a.m. CST).

But its only supposed to add up to 1 inch of snow? After over 6 hours of it being like this? Huh?

I have to trust it, I guess. But I drove my car today, and my car doesn't like to drive in snow when it gets heavier than 2 inches on the ground. Dammit.

Leo and I shop for groceries on Sunday nights. This past Sunday, we combined our shopping trip with a trip to Target at 119th Street, so we could get the stuff we needed from Target, but also pick up groceries. Seems easy enough, right?

WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

People, I don't know what's so hard about this, but yeah...there's a heavier volume of folks in the store this time of year. They might be pushing carts around in front of them. Do not let your general concept of courteous behavior go flying out the fucking window because you suddenly think that your shopping is somehow more important than everyone else's, ok? It's rude to just push on ahead of people that were walking in the same direction you now want to take. Its also rude to park your cart in the middle of an aisle, and then look up to see that you are blocking people who need to get through, but then just leave it where it is. I actually had to say to a woman, "I'm sorry, can I get past you?" when I was trying to finish up my shopping trip on Sunday night. I just wanted to get home and make dinner. That's all! Just get my shit, pay for it, go home, and make dinner. I'm sorry this woman was unable to find whatever model of hairdryer it was that she had her heart set on. But blocking the aisle for everyone else wasn't gonna help her, honestly.

That's my public service announcement...for today. I will also tell you that Pottery Barn has these pillow covers on sale for an additional 30% off at their store in Leawood right now. I bought them for $16.99 yesterday to replace the pillow covers that Jake saw fit to destroy a week after I bought the new pillows from Target to decorate the house with for Christmas. I got him back, though. I stepped on him this morning. Because I'm eeeeviiiiilll**. Mwahahahahahaha!


**Ok, I'm not eeeeviiiilll. It was dark when I went in to say goodbye to Leo, and he was right by the door when I opened it. Poor thing! I stepped on him HARD. He just made this "oof!" noise, and I collapsed to hold him and pet him and check if he was ok. He started licking my arm after a second, so I knew he was alright. I put him on the bed, pet him a little bit more, and then went to kiss Leo goodbye. I felt so, soooo bad. So the exact opposite of evil, really.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally.

The Twin just got a job. A good one. One she can make a living off of.

It's a Festivus MIRACLE!

Ok, ok...its not a miracle, but I am really damned happy for her, is the thing.

Head on over and congratulate her, will ya? She probably doesn't have a post up about it yet, but she will. I'm sure she will.


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

That is NOT a bucket. But that sure would be fun!

In talking with the Twin last night on my way home from work, I realized that the avatar I currently use isn't clear to everyone. So I thought I'd explain it.

That is a drink, my friends. A great, big, yummy drink called "blueberry vodka and soda, with a lime." That particular picture was taken after I'd had a couple of tall ones. Usually I order them short, but it was a baaaaad week that week. So I drank them tall all weekend. It was an awesome time. (You should ask Leo. No, wait...don't.)

I'd like to dive into 2 or 4 or 10 of them every night, but that'd be supah-expensive. So I just keep them to special occassions now and then. It's nice to see it up there in the corner like that all the time. Comforting. Like a cool, limey, refreshing pool of happy.

Shocking that I'm not an alchy, eh? Ha!

Jake playing in the snow last weekend...

I don't know if this video will look better here than it does on YouTube, but I took it with my phone, so whatdya want?

I also had to do it through the storm door, because whenever I went outside to record Jake in the snow, he would run down to the grass, and run around in circles. He was very excited. I just thought it was funny how he kind of attacked the snow. Watch it if you want a little giggle.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Blank

This is just a crappy, crappy day. I need several of my avatars, and a pillow to rest my head on.

Good night...

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Uummm...yeah. Discuss.

We've been discussing this stuff on the message board I'm a member of. I feel the need to share. And ask for your opinions. And share the horrors.

Look here.

And here. (A couple of the girls on the board think this one isn't real. I think that if it is, its DAMNED scary. Twin, watch out! Watch the fuck out!!!)

Embarrassment

No less than 2 times in the past 3 weeks, I have smiled and waved at a guy as I drive into the parking garage at work, thinking he's my boss. He looks a lot like him! But he is not him. I'm finding it difficult to break this random streak of friendliness toward that stranger, though. Since I don't see him every day, when I do, I get confused again, and have to hold back from making eye contact, and smiling and then waving. And then it only takes a second for me to realize that it was not my boss I was waving at, but some dude that I don't know.

He always waves back, though. Hm.

I'm also having a hard time with the buttons on my new Blackberry when its in my pocket, outside of the carrying case I have for it. Yesterday, I bumped into the shopping cart I was pushing while I was on the phone with the Twin, and I hung up on her. That's not as bad as when I left the store, though, and ran into a dipshit who didn't know how to pull out of a parking spot...she was backing out, even though I was walking right next to her, and then she turned and finally saw me, and continued to back out anyway! So I start calling her a mutherfucking dumbass, and a complete dolt, etc, etc...and finally finished the walk to my car to load my groceries. When I climbed into my car, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to find that it had called "Grams." Yeah, that's Leo's grandparents' house.

Fuck. Me.

I hung up right away, so I have no idea if anyone was on the other end of the line. Since the phone was in my pocket, all I could hope was that they couldn't hear my profanity-filled grumblings while the call was live. After checking the history of the call later, I saw that it was only live for 22 seconds, so it must have happened when I started loading the groceries into my trunk. I hope. ::sigh!::

Anyway, point is, I'm cool. 'Nuff said.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Ha ha...very funny.

It’s been a while since something like this has happened. Back in 2005, I wrote about a similar occurrence that involved a pair of sunglasses.

To sum up for those who don’t wanna click to read, I’d gone home for Christmas (home being California) in December of 2004, and left my favorite pair of sunglasses there on accident. I don’t buy expensive sunglasses, so there wasn’t any sense in having them sent to me, or anything. I just bought new ones at Target to replace them, and moved on with things.

6 months later, I reached into my purse to grab my sunglasses as I backed out of the garage, and I found two pairs instead of one. The ones on top? Yeah, they were the ones I’d left in California at Christmas.

How did they get to my purse? Hell if I know! All I can tell you is (a) I don’t change purses like some women do…I carry one bag for a long while, and when it finally breaks down, I buy a new one and throw the old one away. So it’s not like I just lost the other pair in my bag, and thought that I’d left them in California all that time. They weren’t there. And now they were sitting right on top of all the stuff I had in there that I searched through daily to obtain things like my wallet and cell phone and lipstick. And (b) I have not worn those sunglasses since I found them that day. It freaked me the FUCK OUT finding them like that in my bag, seeming to have travelled all the way from California on their own over the course of the previous 6 months. They currently sit in front of a picture of my father’s mother in my bedroom. Because I honestly don’t know if she’s the one screwing with me, or if it’s my own mom, or someone else entirely.

Anyway. It’s happened again.

Last spring, I bought a couple of racer-back tank tops that were on sale at Old Navy. A gray one and a black one, good for lounging around the house, and layering and stuff. I wore them a couple of times, and then they up and disappeared. I was sad, because they were super comfy, and very soft, so I searched for them in all my drawers, multiple times mind you, and just chalked it up to an accidental discarding during one of my cleaning-out-the-drawers moments, and moved on.

Last week, feeling a bit stressed out already, I had to go in and sort and fold the laundry, like I always do, on Sunday nights. Leo and I do our own laundry separately, so it’s just my pile of undies, socks, and comfy clothes that I need to quickly work through before bed each week. I can’t remember what I was stressed about last week…could have been any number of things really, but when I got to the end of the pile, and I pulled out a super-soft, comfy racer-back black tank that I hadn’t seen in 6 months, it sent me over the edge a bit.

Leo keeps his clothes in separate piles in laundry baskets in the closet, instead of hanging them in the closet or folding them and putting them into drawers. I flipped out, yelling about how living like a teenager who’s just gone off to college isn’t what I signed up for, and it disgusted me to see it, and blahblahblah-me-being-a-PITA-wife-cakes. When I found the tank top, I asked him if he’d had it buried in his laundry all this time, and just failed to tell me about it when he found it, and decided to throw it into my laundry basket without telling me instead? He insisted he had nothing to do with it. I seethed for a bit, slammed some doors, and then went to bed.

Last night was a calmer one, laundry and attitude-wise. I went in to fold my laundry after watching a bit of “Elf” that had recorded on the TiVo, and once again, I came to the bottom of the pile as I sorted out the workout clothes from the work clothes and the socks and lounge-wear, and reached in to grab a bit of gray material that was soft…and familiar…and damned if it wasn’t the other racer-back tank top that I had bought to layer with the black one that turned up last week!

I took it out to the living room where Leo was still watching “Elf” and showed it to him. I asked, again, if he was fucking with me, and if he’d found the tank tops in his laundry baskets and just didn’t want to tell me that he’d had them buried in there all this time? He insists that he has nothing to do with them showing up in my laundry like this.

So there ya have it. Kind of fun, weird, fucked up ghosty activity around the house. What other explanation for it is there? They weren’t just hanging out in my laundry basket all this time…it’s small, and when I do laundry, I empty it every week…so its not like some stuff gets washed while some hangs out in the basket. They weren’t in the drawer all this time, either. Again, I clean it out often, so when I searched for them after they initially disappeared last spring, I would have found them when I looked. Regardless, I know what I throw into my laundry basket every week, and it’s the fact that they’re showing up there, and not just randomly back in the drawer where I store them that freaks me out.

But where does this stuff go when it gets, um, taken? THAT is what confuses me the most.

Anyone else ever experience crap like this? I know it’s called Disappearing Object Phenomenon, but this isn’t the form it generally takes. Usually, with DOP, it’s something like a set of keys, or a remote control that completely disappears, and after a good amount of searching, shows back up in the exact place that you remember leaving it. This lends itself to leaving one feeling like they’re losing it a bit. It’s not nice. Since my stuff goes on vacation for months at a time, it’s not as frustrating to me, really. It’s a teensy bit sucky, but it’s nothing that makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s clearly paranormal, in my case. That makes it easier to deal with, IMO, if that makes any sense.

Share your own experiences with this phenomenon in the comments. I’d love to hear about them!