Tuesday, February 17, 2009

MUCH better...

We returned safe and sound to the hometown of KC last night, managing to successfully complete our travels without killing any of the fellow travelers on board the planes with us, and without too much bumpiness along the way this time. ::high fives self for maintaining track record for a murder-free existence and a panic attack-free day::

While sitting in the airport yesterday morning, we heard several announcements for idiots. Apparently, the idiots were allowed to roam freely at John Wayne International (a.k.a. Orange County Airport) while we were there, as we heard not one announcement...not TWO announcements...but FOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS for items that were left all over the damned place that people needed to retrieve.

#1 was a belt at the security checkpoint
#2 was a BAG at the security checkpoint (and, ok I can kind of understand the belt, if someone is in a hurry...but your BAG? WTF???)
#3 was a purse at baggage claim 2
#4 was a watch at the security checkpoint again

Srsly? I've never heard so many fucking announcements for items left behind - and big ones, too! - while waiting for a flight. It was ka-raaazy. And those people are stoopid.

I was in a pretty foul mood yesterday. I don't like to travel...I like getting to where I'm going, but I don't like the process of getting there part. Strangers + Faith = Trouble with a capital T. Saying a pleasant goodbye to my parents was hard because (a) I hate to leave them, and (b) I hate that leaving them always involves travel via airplane all the time. My step mom understood. "I hate travel, too, " she said as she hugged me. I'm glad she gets it. It helps.

But then we got to the airport and during check in, I heard the lady behind the counter talking to someone about their overweight luggage, and stuff. And then we had to weigh Leo's bag, and the same lady goes, "Your bag is over the weight limit, so you'll need to pay an additional charge..." And I stopped her and I said, "Um, its the same weight it was on our way out here, and we didn't have any problems with it last week." So she says ok, and asks Leo to put it on the other scale they have, and when he removed it, I noticed that the scale it had been on started at SEVENTEEN POUNDS. Um, nice, American Airlines. Fucking nice. Well done, trying to fuck people over like that, assholes. So I tell the woman, "That scale is starting off at 17 pounds! That's awesome. And you just charged someone for their overweight bag. Very cool of you there." She ignored me, and Leo's bag weighed a normal amount on the scale that started at zero, surprise surprise, and she got my bag weighed and tagged, and then we were off through security.

But MAN, that did NOT help my mood!

Then I realized our flight was delayed, and that sucked a little. But it worked out, so nothing to talk about there.

And then I realized that we had better eat before we left. Because I didn't want a repeat performance of the Blood Sugar Monster that showed up last week. So we got in line at McDonald's, and while we were standing there, a girl suddenly goes, "Faith! Hi, I recognize you guys from the pictures on your blog. I'm a fan, and just wanted to tell you..." or something like that, and I was all, "Whoah! Great! Thanks!" I saw she was wearing a KU t-shirt, so I assume she's from town and that's how she knows me. But after she got her food, she disappeared, and I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. So thanks for saying hi, KU-chick! I can't tell you how much my mood changed after that! It really cheered me up! (Also, the man in front of me in line at McDonald's turned around after she walked away, and looked me up and down. I think it was because she'd said she was "a fan" and he missed that she was a fan of my blog, and probly thought I was some more interesting person standing there, like someone from t.v. or what have you. That cracked me up.) (I'm easily amused...)

Getting back to our car at KCI is always a bit of a process in itself. Its the last leg of a trip that has already exposed you to too many incompetent, ignorant, and discourteous people already, and I hate it a lot. So we get on the bus last, even though we were among the first 4 people waiting for it, and then as we approach the long-term parking lots, the bus driver calls out to ask if anyone is parked in any other lot besides "C".

Quick aside for those who don't live here: KCI is made up of 3 terminals - A, B, and C. Different airlines go out of each respective terminal, and when you park in the long-term parking lots, they correspond with said terminals. Since we were flying on American, and they are out of terminal C, we parked in lot C. Seems simple enough, eh? Yeah...

So these two chicks call back to the driver to say that they are NOT parked in C, and he calls in to his headquarters, or whatever, and lets them know that he has transfers that he's dropping off, and then they get off the bus.

All I want you to take from this is that I was totally judging those women. In my opinion, if you can't figure out how this simple lot process works, then I'm concerned about you having a driver's license in the first place. Your brain scares me.

So I'm telling my neighbor about this on our way in to work this morning, and I'm all, "How can people be so dumb??? I mean, they scare me with their complete idiocy! So annoying." And he, of course, goes, "Yeah, I've been one of those 'idiots' before. I was in a hurry, and I was late, and I just pulled into whatever lot I thought I should without even looking at the signs..." And I try to remove my foot from my mouth as gracefully as possible by saying, "Yeah, well, I can see how it can happen, don't get me wrong! I figure that those people must not travel much, is the thing..." Which is what he said his issue was. And then I tried to make light of it by saying, "Well, just so you know, I'm totally judging you for shit like that." And he said I could judge away! And then he said it totally made him even later because he had to catch a transfer to the proper terminal and everything. And then we dropped it and moved on.

Man. I hate it when I do shit like that! But you know what? I totally asked him to please pick up any packages that were delivered to the house while we were gone, and he didn't, and we got a BUNCH of them, and they were all wet and shit...so yeah. We're even, IMO.

Pictures of the vacation will be posted later this week...we got in much too late last night to be able to get on the computer to download and edit all that crap, so stay tuned! There's some fun on the way, boy...


Nuke said...

Welcome home!

And honestly, you could have stopped writing after the revelation that you have "fans". That one is gonna make me chuckle ALL the effing day!

Oh and you shoulda told the eavesdropper that you do porn.

Chimpotle said...

When you use Orbitz or Expedia, it can be common to have departing and returning flights on different airlines. So they could have left on United (Terminal A) and returned on American (Terminal C). So you're basically passing judgment on two people who may have done nothing wrong but live in a city with one of the worst laid out airports for modern times.

Faith said...

On the way out, we were on a bus with a mother and daughter team that were in parking lot "C", but needed to go to terminal A. I highly doubt that they were planning ahead for the flight home on a different airline than the one they were flying out on. Fuck, the mother didn't even have enough sense to wear clothing that fit her...her shirt was busting at her bewbies.

The women on the bus last night looked genuinely confused that our bus didn't take them to the parking lot they needed to go to.

Andplusalso, the RED BUS is what takes passengers from terminal to terminal. So if the traveler has done what you suggest, Chimpo, then they should also be savvy enough to know about the Red Bus. You know, since it says on the sign at the curb "to circle parking lots and all terminals" and all.

See, the thing is, I'm not exactly any rocket scientist over here. It's just a matter of using your BRAIN in common sense situations. So I'm gonna keep on judging those people who get on the wrong fucking blue bus. It just isn't that hard.

I have no problem with the way KCI is laid out. I think its fab the way it is. ::shrugs:: Perhaps that's because I have this newfangled thing called cognitive reasoning, and I can use it to help me navigate all those CRAZY terminals! ::rolls eyes::

Chimpotle said...

Actually, it would be much faster to take the Blue Bus to the lot and transfer to another Blue Bus that is on its way to your lot than it is to wait for a Red Bus to take you to another terminal to wait for a Blue Bus to take you to the lot. How often do you even see a Red Bus?

The layout of KCI is complete crap. It's old. It's costly. It's inconvenient. If you don't have the common sense to see the numerous ways that KCI is lacking, the rest of your statements/judgments in this post are pure hogwash.

Erin said...

I've done the different carriers lots - esp. when I was flying into Baltimore for work and out of Reagan after seeing Mr. Perfect. I did the red bus transfer once and they were like, yeah.. uh, just do the blue bus. I've done it both coming & going depending on how much extra time I had before departing.

Faith said...

None of that makes sense. Take a blue bus to the lot, and then transfer to another blue bus on its way to your lot...huh? Why not take a red bus from terminal C to A, and then catch your blue bus there, so you don't slow down the people who parked in the proper fucking lot for their airline? And if you had to book travel on different airlines for whatever reason (to save $50? I dunno what its good for, really...I book on Priceline, btw, and I always choose same-airline options), why not be courteous and take the fucking red bus? Why is this a concept that's so difficult to grasp?

We arrived at 6:30 last night. As we waited for our blue bus, a red bus passed us. Didn't seem like they're too scarce to me!

I travel a LOT Chimpo. I'm not going to have this discussion with you if you're going to insult me outright like that. That's douchey. I do not see how KCI is lacking. I've never, EVER had a problem there. Again, maybe its because I have a brain in my head, unlike some of the travelers I encountered over the last week, but I'm not sure. Because I pegged you for a pretty smart guy, and you obviously have had some randomly crappy experience with the blue bus/red bus sitch there, so I'm not sure what the explanation is. IMO, the people I ran into having issues with it over the last 10 days were dense. But I don't know them, really, so I have to judge them from afar...

But I will say that in my well-traveled opinion, KCI is one of the better airports available. I also like DFW, O'Hare, and Salt Lake City. Orange County has gotten better over the last several years, thanks to the improvements they've made in their security check system. We clearly have a difference in opinion over the efficiency at KCI. I think it's extremely efficient for the traffic it handles, and you don't. We should probably leave it at that.

Faith said...

Aaaaand Erin posted while I was typing. I'm not sure why the red bus driver would recommend using the blue bus for transferring from one lot to another, except out of laziness, but ok. I was wrong. ::throws hands up in air and vows to travel by train from now on::

Chimpotle said...

I travel almost exclusively on Southwest, so I can't say I've ever had to transfer buses. I'm just not a fan of blindly insulting people you don't know regarding a situation you don't seem very familiar with. For all you know, they missed their flight and had to book another airline and were having an overall crap day.

The Red Bus is for getting terminal to terminal. Say you have a connection on a different airline, you take the Red Bus to the other terminal. Taking the Red Bus to catch a Blue Bus at another terminal would be like having a flight from here to LAX by way of Dallas when you could go through Denver and save yourself an hour or two. It makes more sense to take the Blue Bus and get dropped off for another Blue Bus because it is actually on the way to where you are going.

Chimpotle said...

As for the crapfest that is KCI. The multitude of security checks at all gates is extremely costly and I would imagine hard to staff with people who are actually good at their job. Once you walk into your gate area, you are basically trapped with an awful food cart and bathrooms shoved in a corner...unless of course you want to go through security...again. Most other respectable airports have you check in, go through security and then you have a multitude of things to do. KCI is more of a prison. If you travel a LOT, then you should not be so blind to these issues because you have spent hours in other airports that do not chain you to an area with 4 gates.

KCI is great for two things: dropping people off and getting the eff out of dodge if you are lucky enough to have someone to pick you up.

Faith said...

"The Red Bus is for getting terminal to terminal." Um, exfuckingactly my point. You parked in C but are flying into A? Then take the red bus from A to C and catch the blue bus to the proper parking lot.

Why is this something that appears to only make sense in MY head? I need someone other than Chimpo to come in here and tell me I'm not nuts. PLEASE!

The blue bus should take me from my terminal to my parking lot. And not have to stop to drop off/pick people up along the way because they fucked up. Sorry, I'm not bending on that one.

And, again, I've never had an issue with the way KCI is laid out. I've been traveling through it for over 10 years now, and I've never had a problem with either waiting to go through security at the last minute or now just sitting in the gate area waiting for my flight.

I don't know that I'd call what I'm doing "blindly insulting" people, since I'm not really telling them what I think of them. I stand behind the fact that if you're going to waste time in my day by doing something that I find is discourteous on your behalf, then I have the right to fucking call you names on my blog the next day.

Jeezy chreezy...this IS my blog, right? Or did I stumble into a twilight zone where people who are supposed to know me apparently don't know me at all???

I gotta go home. Bye!

Chimpotle said...

Seriously, just stop and think about it. You are lucky enough to drive a Red Bus around the airport. You stop to pick someone up and ask what airline they need to get to. "Oh, I just need to go over to A Terminal to wait at the Blue Bus stop (of which there is one two feet away)" How fucking stupid does that sounds?

They put the transfer stop before the parking lots for a reason. For people to use. For the express purpose of transferring people to the correct lot.

Let me just apologize for offending you on your own blog because you had to wait 90 seconds for some people to get off a bus. I'm deeply sorry.

Faith said...

No, no...you clearly couldn't care less that you've pissed me off. Let ME apologize for you apparently not knowing me and what I write about AT ALL. My bad for thinking that you've been READING my blog for the past couple of years or so.

Hi, my name is Faith. I do this thing called "complaining" on my blog. Don't like it? Then why the fuck do you come here to read???

Now, if someone could PLEASE explain to me WTF those fucking red busses are for at the airport, I'd be mighty grateful. How about if the KCI WEBSITE explains it to me, eh? (The following is from the FAQ page on FlyKCI.com.) "How can I get from one terminal to another?
The RED BUS provides complimentary transportation among all three terminals. Bus stops are located outside each terminal building and are designated by overhead signs marked “Red Inter-Terminal Connection.”"

Gee, thanks FlyKCI.com. You sure are helpful when people need some obvious information.

Chimpotle said...

Exactly. To get from one terminal to another. Not to get to another terminal to get to a bus stop that you were standing next to at the previous terminal. The Red Bus driver even says to get on the Blue Bus. But please, keep spinning your tires on this.

faithstwin said...

Not that I am taking sides on this but Chimpo: you were the one who brought up using the RED BUS to get from terminal to parking to begin with.
Faith was pointing out how people who do that piss her off because they are wasting the time of people who know what bus to use by asking the driver of the parking lot buses to make a detour for them.

How hard is that to understand, dude?

I personally think LAX is the worst airport to have to shuttle to and from. I agree KCI sux when it comes to having to go through security but you know what I do when I am flying out? I WAIT WHERE I WILL BE ABLE TO ACCESS THE OUTSIDE WORLD UNTIL 20 MINS PRIOR THE FLIGHT. That way I am free to roam if needed. It's common sense.

Fuck- Chimpo shutthefuckup already!

Chimpotle said...

Twin, please point out to me where I said anything of the sort.

You're right, it is common sense to stay outside of the gate area if you want to roam free. My point is that the setup is old and inconvenient, and you don't have to do that in every other airport I've been to. KCI has even released statements saying that the layout is very inefficient for passenger flow, security screening, baggage handling, concession variety and taxi and bus operations.

"The D" said...

I am guilty of all of the above infractions. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.

Logtar said...

I'm taking sides!

Faith, it is your blog and you are entitled to call people dumb whenever you see fit! However, cognitive reasoning is not something I would personally use as a gauge of being able to process intelligence because even a chicken can get corn using it. Not that I am trying to call you a chicken or anything of that sort... the lost people with the bus issues maybe.

I applaud Chimpo for trying to defend people that he never even saw, it shows that he cares more than meesha does, meesha thinks everyone has the IQ of a chicken.

I have travel a LOT... not sure what a LOT means, but I have travel both nationally and internationally and I personally like KCI because I use its good graces, I get people to pick me up or drop me off 95% of the time... I also pick my friends and family up every time I can. The times I have had to park in there I have hand no huge issues but I then opted to start getting a cab... I can give you the company's number, the dude that picks me up sports an awesome mullet and has more trucker stories than any other I have encountered. Other than that, the place is a freaking jail and I feel like I am inside a fish bowl every time I am there. And do not tell me that you can wait until they almost open the door before you go into the glass cell, because that line moves slower than a chicken laying an egg to Metallica.

In conclusion, KCI is a chicken coop.

Xavier Onassis said...

I'm a pretty pony.

Faith said...

Yeah, I think the Twin got that backwards. But whatev...

I still have been more pleased with the KCI set up than most other airports I've travelled through. LAX is a suckfest beyond all other suckfests. OC is cool because of the proximity to the rental cars and parking lots. Denver is a little confusing when driving out of there if you've never done it before, but one time through is all it takes to figure it out.

Anyway, my point in these comments became the fact that I use this little bloggy forum as a way to air my frustrations and complaints. To have someone complain to me about my complaining always confounds me. NFT.

JoeKCI said...

Hi Faith: I saw this exchange in a blog search. Of course, you do have a right to complain on your blog. I thought I would chime in on the buses at KCI since I am the PR person at KCI. While the transfer station is in the Economy Lot as a backstop for the errant traveler, it is also there for those who may travel by different airlines. One can use either bus to make the move in their respective stop locations. The inter-terminal Red Bus is more of a crap shoot as there is one bus cycling through all three terminals at any given time. At peak there are about 18 Blue buses cycling, with just 3 overnight (one per terminal/lot). So the wait in the terminal for the Blue Bus is likely going to be shorter most of the time. If you happen to catch the Red bus in A you have to go through the rest of A, B & C, stopping for travelers, employees and the like. If one transfers in Economy they are going to slow everyone on the bus down, but I hope not for long! The terminal design debate could be endless for status quo or for one terminal. But that debate is not necessary for quite a few years with passenger levels being down. Thanks for the flykci.com plug. There are always coupons for free parking there as well as the rewards program for free stuff. Thanks, Faith, for your patronage and for letting me chime in, hopefully flame-free! Joe McBride

Anonymous said...

I was your fan in the Jayhawk shirt that said ‘hi’ at John Wayne. I was in a fowl mood too – my return flight had been accidentally booked for Monday March 16th, not Monday Feb 16th, and I didn’t know that until I tried to check in. So after a very expensive last minute one-way ticket, I was getting my fries and sitting my grumpy self down! Glad I helped make your trip back a bit for enjoyable.