Thursday, March 05, 2009

Steady as she goes...

I got sleep last night. Wonderful, deep, dark, beautiful sleep. It was fabulous. I remember lamenting the fact that I didn't feel tired at all as I shut the light off at about 10:45, but then I must have conked out right away...I woke up in the middle of the night at some point to pee, and I remember stumbling into the bathroom to do so, which is good because it gets messy otherwise, and then I must have just dropped right off again into sleep because next thing I knew, Leo's alarm was going off at 5:25.

When mine went off a 6, I considered calling in sick, I was enjoying the sleep so much. But I managed to pull myself together, and get my ass in here. I still wish I'd been able to sleep more, but the weekend is right around the corner, so I console myself with that fact.

Important thing is: ANTM ("America's nex Top Model" for those who don't know...), or "Train Wreck" as we like to refer to it in our house, started last night! Squeeeee!!!! This is going to be a fun batch of girls. I'm kinda sad they sent home the epileptic one so quickly, since Sandra is SUCH a douchette and a half, but I guess it made the most sense. I can't find a snapshot, but let me just say at the outset that if that was the photo they chose as the winning one for this week (Allison's wide-eyed portayal of a child playing double-dutch jumprope), then we are in for one wild mutherfuckin' ride, yo! That picture was AWFUL! It made me turn to Leo and do my own impression of her which involved me opening my eyes super-wide, and hanging my mouth open as I just said, "Der-uuuhhhhh..." and almost started drooling. She looked DUMB, not pretty. Not like she belonged in a pictorial or an editorial story, or whatever it is they like to say. She looked like she was doing her best Lenny impression, and was about to hug a bunny until she squished it, ok?

So let me give you my quick run down right now, and then we can move on with eating lunch.

This is Sandra. She's a bitch and a half. I was so glad to see her failing time after time because bitch was so, soooo cocky at the outset, and was a ridiculous asshole about the bed situation when they first arrived in the house, that it pissed me off. Why? Because I was pulling for her to make it past the semi-final round in Vegas (where the show began last night), and then she went and let me down and shit. FUCK YOU SANDRA! I hope you twist your arm in an attempt to be the proper angle of "broken" during your next photo shoot, and you have to go home. You overconfident asshat...
This is London. She's dressed like a hooker much of the time (one that shops at Walmart, no less...ick), but she's actually a street preacher. She's a full-on whacked out Jesus freak, yo! As she so humbly volunteered to sleep on the floor after Sandra's sucktastic defiance in the 12-beds-for-13-girls-situation, Celia said, "Really? You'll sleep on the floor?" And London replied by jumping across the bed to her blanket and pillow on the floor and yelling out, "Yes! I AM JESUS!" So, yeah, there's that. The thing is, I really, really like her. Hm. Don't know what to do with that...
...I also don't know what to do with her rubber pants. But, I guess as long as she knows what to do with them, that's all that matters, kay? Ok.
This is Celia. She's a pretentious, stuck-up snobby type thus far. She has really pretty hair. Which I predict they will chop off when they do the make-overs. Mwahahahahahaha! She has the potential to become a favorite of mine, but I can't quite put a finger on why. The twin and I had a friend named Celia when we were growing up. Celia Klunder. Maybe that's why? I dunno.
She looks stubby and kinda chubby in that photo, somehow. But she's not. She's tall and super-skinny, so yeah. Celia can model.

And this is Allison. The geeky, mousey, weird-looking one for this cycle. She likes and has a fascination with blood. How do I know that? Because she told the judges in her interview for the semi-finalist break down. Yeah, Allison is an odd bird. And her eyes are NOT pretty. People need to stop saying that, because they bug out and get weird, and she needs to reign that in NOW so that she doesn't turn into Carla from Top Chef's season 5. Allison, get a hold on it now, sista! Before it's too laaaate! Augh!!!!

Anyway, I'm glad its back. I'm sure Rich is too. Woo!

3 comments:

Nora said...

Every season I say I'm not going to watch and every season they just suck me back in, damn them!!

Allison reminds me of those dolls we had when we were kids that when you laid them down the eyes closed? Except one of the eyes always stuck open and looked strange? Yeah, that's Allison.

Sandra is going to make this interesting. I'm looking forward to the cat fights unless she gets her ass voted off again.

As for the others, I'm sorry, I just want to bitch slap Celia. I'm not sure why. I don't know who I'm digging just yet. I have to give it another week.

Faith said...

Yeah, I'm sure my mind will change about a gazillion times. I cannot WAIT for the makeovers! As usual...

Its funny, because I've never denied it to myself as a guilty pleasure. And there's always the fun of reading Rich's recaps, too, so watching the show always helps with the comprehension there. (If you've never read Rich's recaps of ANTM on fourfour, give it a try with this cycle. He's so fucking funny, Nora. He usually posts the recaps on the Monday following the episode, because he's a busy dude.)

Maine said...

I like reality TV because it lets me yell "Fuck you" at strangers. I feel better about myself because I'm not them.

I may watch this.