Friday, May 15, 2009

It's like Liz Lemon says...


I went to the gym today, I deserve a treat.

I’m one of those fat people that accept her fatness for what it is.

Does it suck? Yeah, a fair amount, actually.

Do I wish it would just go away already? Uh-huh. HELL yes, I do!

But do I want to do much more than I already am to combat the evil of fat? Weellll…

See, that’s the thing; I’m big, but it’s not debilitating in any way. I can still run from a bear, if required, I’d imagine. I can still take a couple of flights of stairs at a time without pain or nausea. (Heavy breathing and sweating is another thing, but I think that both can be healthy, dammit, so I’m ok with it overall.) I’m pretty nimble, and for being a 200 pound woman, I’m in relatively decent shape. I pulled off a semi-difficult 45 minutes at the gym this morning that I’m sure would be tough for lots of healthy 15 year olds to manage, ok? So no one needs to cry for my ass, is all I’m sayin’.

So I will EAT my blueberry muffin, and DRINK my Diet Pepsi, and enjoy myself, goddammit. Because I earned it. By going to the gym and busting a nut for 45 minutes today before most of the natural world was even up and out of bed. And if I could find a miraculous way for the ugly, bloated, stretch-marked fat to just fall off of my body? I would totally do it. Absolutely. But for now, I’m good.

Now back to what I really wanted to post about. If you aren’t watching 30 Rock, you really just need to get on it, ok? Last night, when Kenny was talking about how he loved science class, particularly when they studied the Old Testament, I laughed - hard - for a good 30 seconds straight. And then when Sheryl Crow and Cyndi Lauper and Elvis Costello got together with a bunch of other singers/performers that I did not recognize, and sang a song about donating a kidney to Jack’s long-lost father, it wasn’t as funny, but it was still pretty entertaining. The lyrics were fucking awesome.

“The other kidney is singing now.”

Yeah, you need to watch that shit. Just trust me on that.

3 comments:

faithstwin said...

It's kind of funny that youa re talking about this today...I was reading an article in Women's Day or something written by a woman who is a former overweight person and she focuses on emotional eating when she counsels her clients...in any case, she said something in her article that I am going to post on my blog later about people in your life thinking they are doing a good thing by saying something about your weight but what they are really doing is perpetuating the shame and that it is NO ONE'S business why you make the choices you do and their saying something won't help but in reality it more than likely is doing harm.

It reminded me of Dad or other people who have said things to me that actually hurt more than they realize.

I wonder why I don't crave things like muffins or doughnuts or sweet things in the morning? In fact, I go through most of my day without wanting those things. My pitfalls are the parmesan crackers or the dressing I use on my salads or the bacon I put on my sandwich.

Faith said...

My regular craving in the morning is a taco from Taco Bell. No joke. I prefer the savory for the most part.

This morning, the belleh wanted a muffin. What can I say?

I usually crave sweets in the afternoon, like most of the rest of the (obese) free world. So when I crave a muffin, I tend to give in. It's rare, thank goodness!

faithstwin said...

Mmmmm- Taco Bell.

Del Taco's cheeseburger has been voted one of the best burgers you can get fast food wise. Their meat is never frozen- did you know that? I read the article and people said they had never gotten a Del Burger before and I was all, "WWHHHAAAA?"

I need to get out of here. People are pissing me off today. argggg