Friday, May 29, 2009

Open letter to my building's maintenance crew

To Whom It May Concern:

When employees visiting the restroom can see spiders lowering themselves into the bowl from their happy web they've built under the rim? It could be time to pull out one of those special wand-tool things, and clean the toilet bowl. Just give it all a good scrub, mkay?

We appreciate it! Since, you know, the idea of a good, relaxing piss doesn't usually involve a bite from a bug, or even a bug crawling on our privates. Believe me, we are NOT judging how you do things at home. But here? We like things to be a bit more sterile in the bare-ass regions of the work place.

The "Assholes" on the 5th Floor (Get it? "Assholes"??? Hahahah...oh, forget it.)


Jillian said...

Dear Faith,

That "spider" you saw? Actually a crab. Sorry you had to find out this way, on the internet and all.


The Maintenance Crew

m.v. said...

sounds like you have a bug up your ass (lord I apologize)

faithstwin said...

Jillian- Gross!

m.v.- nice. =P

Yeah, why wouldn't maintenance be up under the rim if they are already in the bowl?