Thursday, June 18, 2009

What do you guys think of this?

This morning, one of my friends on the message board I belong to brought in a link to a blog, asking us all what we thought of it. I was pretty disgusted, as were all the other girls, and while I'd love to share my thoughts with the writer of the blog, she has removed all ability to comment, and any other way of reaching out to her personally, due to the feedback she received on this post about "training" her 2 year old son*. (She's put an update at the top of the post, which is stupid, but once you get past that, the original text of the post is what people responded to, apparently.)

*Apparently, she has had enough, or something, and she deleted her post. No friends and I cut and paste the post to our message board prior to her cowardly move, so here ya go!

"This has been a long afternoon for Mommy and Baby. When I got him up from his nap I said to him (like I do every day), "Say 'Hi Mommy!' " But this afternoon, instead of his usual, "Hi Mommy!" he said nothing. He refused, I mean refused, to say it.

It occurred to me that I haven't shared with you one of my favorite child training tips for babies. Here it is:

You can make a baby do things. For example, if you say, "Pick that up" and they won't do it, you can lead them to the item, take their little hand and make them pick it up.But there are four things you can NOT make a baby do.

1. Sleep
2. Eat/swallow
3. Poop/pee
4. Speak

In this case, Baby wouldn't say something that I told him to say. It wasn't like he just looked around and did something else. He was obviously disobeying me.

Like I said, I can't make him speak. But I can make him sit; I can make him open a book; I can make him come to me when called. But there is no way to make him speak. So what do I do? I'm glad you asked.

I make him miserable, absolutely miserable. At first I called the other children in and I said, "Say 'Hi Mommy' " and they would repeat, "Hi Mommy". Baby could see their example. He would say hi to them, but not to me. More proof that he is deliberately not obeying me.

Next I got out his favorite snack (he is in my arms this whole opportunity to go anywhere else or be entertained). He reached for it. "Say Hi Mommy". Nothing. I would call in a couple of the little boys. I'd tell them to say it and when they did, I gave them a bit of the snack. Baby would reach for it and I would pull back. "Say 'Hi Mommy' ". It apparently wasn't worth it to him. OK, we'll figure out what is worth it.

I took him back into my room where he begged to see G&G's picture on the computer (this is one of his favorite things to do). "Say 'Hi Mommy' " Nope. Finally I sat him on my lap facing me and when I told him to say it he shook his head, no. So I got my teeny, tiny baby spanker. It's a little back scratcher that barely stings, but it's great for babies.

One little swat and he screamed. "No screaming" I'd say (in a very gentle way....I always spoke gently and calmly) and give him another little swat. When he'd stop I'd tell him again to say "Hi Mommy." Nope. Swat. Cry. Swat. This went on for about 30 minutes. I'd cradle him and rock him and he would be soothed, then I'd tell him again, "Say 'Hi Mommy.' " over and over.

Finally, when I was trying to decide if he would get dinner or not (I was actually thinking I would give him something else besides the pizza that everyone else was having because he is too young to go without a meal), he leaned his head on my shoulder and said, "Hi Mommy." and it was over.

All of the children cheered when I brought him out. He was exhausted, but he got a little snack and a special drink.

Now he's happily eating his dinner and saying "Hi Mommy" all I want.

The victory for me isn't that he will say "Hi Mommy", but that he understands that he has to do what I say. This is a lesson that will carry on into his future and keep him safe and secure. It will help to lead him to that greater relationship with our Lord. Obedience to Christ will come easier to him because of what we have taught him in these formative years.

Of course, I didn't get done what I had planned this afternoon. We had to order pizza because I couldn't make dinner. I had to set everything aside to do this. But I never wished for anything else. It was a great opportunity to spend these precious moments with my sweet boy."

(Are you sure about that last bit, Lisa? You sure it wasn't a great opportunity for you to mke your child "miserable"??? You hypocritical asshat...)

Shocking that she received any harsh commentary on that post, huh? I mean, training your children by whipping them with a small stick is so normal. Especially when its a moody two year old involved. You know, since it's what CHRIST wants her to do and all, it makes perfect sense to berate the poor thing, whip him, and spend such an inordinate amount of time on something so INANE as getting him to say "Hi Mommy" that you have to order pizza instead of being able to make dinner for your family, and shit. Absolutely perfect sense. She should get a parenting prize, for fuck's sake. ::roll eyes::

So, Lisa, since you took away peoples' abilities to respond to your fabulous little website that you tout as being one on which you write "child training tips" since you "get so many questions" about how you raise your own family from people you come across in your life, I certainly hope you find my commentary on your sorry ass. You might not feel any need to defend yourself, but strangely enough, I feel a need to defend your poor children. They are not APES. They are PEOPLE. Stop treating them like animals, you sick freak. There isn't one spot in "Scripture," as you call it, where a suggestion is made to whip your son for 30 minutes straight simply because he's probably tired, sad, or feels like going out to play with his big brother. No fucking WONDER he didn't want to say hello to you...shit, I just want to give you a swift cunt punt, myself, and I don't even have to live with your ass!

You so-called "Christians" really chap my hide. Nothing about the way you treat your children, Lisa, is "Christ like". In fact, it's the exact opposite. You go ahead and make yourself feel better by thinking that because you talk in a lowered tone of voice, and hug your children after you beat them into submission, and would never, ever spank them (um, not sure how whipping a child with a thin, light tool is super-different from a spanking, but whatever), you aren't abusing them.

But newsflash: with whatever tool you may use, woman, it's still abuse because you're using a TOOL in order to get them to submit to you!!!


Jeezy, I don't even like kids! I can only imagine how people who do would feel about this woman...tell me in the comments. Even if you disagree with me, let me know. You know why? Because I'm not a fucking PUSSY. I can take your criticism, if you so choose to share it. What an interesting concept, eh?


Jackie said...

I can't believe she contemplated not feeding the kid dinner just because he wouldn't say hi to here. That right there is fucked up.

Faith said...

Well, you know, when you think of your children as MULES that you need to train, you don't really care if they're getting the proper nutrition all the time, I'd imagine.

faithstwin said...

Her entire post is one fucked up mess.

Meanwhile, I am sitting next to a so-called 'christian' who also uses a wooden spoon to not only threaten but admittedly hit her child (and her boyfriend's children) if they don't do what she wants or they misbehave. Listening to her talk about her social behavior, though, I don't understand how she can't see that her son is just mimicking her to begin with when he misbehaves.

This Lisa chick is OFF HER ROCKER and justifying her behavior in the name of 'Scriptures'. I can't believe she actually typed out that she makes him 'miserable' in order to teach him a lesson. Then she goes on to try to insist that she is doing this with much love and calm attitude? Yeah, that behabior doesn't mesh with calm and loving at all.

"Hi Mommy"? Really. REally? May as well make him call you Mommy Dearest and change the 'teeny tiny back scratcher' to wire hangers...

Faith said...

Dude, I'm reading the little bios she has on each child right now (click on their picture), and becoming disgusted all over again. For example, what does she have to say about her oldest son? "He rarely speaks, but when he does it's either hilariously sarcastic or wise and thoughtful (and occasionally a little dense and out to lunch)."

Nice. What a fucking bitch.

faithstwin said...

OMG. I avoided that. Is she a Quiverful? She looks like that is the direction she is headed.

Layla said...

OK, I'm almost afraid to read her blog now just from what I've read here, cause I'm so pissed off already, I would probably want to hunt her down and beat her myself! WTF is wrong with her???!!! People like that should NOT be allowed to reproduce. Fucking kills me that we regulate who can drink, drive a car, vote, but any asshole can be a parent.

Faith said...

I don't know if she's a quiverfull or not. Seems like she might be. I just read one of her earlier posts about how hard it is for her family to find a church they can fit in at, so they just started "home churching" or some shit.

Layla, I know...she seems to think that what she's doing is completely normal. I think it's completely disgusting.

Layla said...

Well, and I was right, just read it and now I'm even more pissed off. I'm sorry, but she is a psycho bitch to think that's ok!.. And I have news for her, my daughter DOES listen to me, especially when it matters and is surprisingly well behaved in restaurants (and she'll be 2 in sept)... and go figure, never raised a hand or a TOOL to her in my life! Never would! WTF...

Xavier Onassis said...

When I was a kid, we were spanked pretty routinely. Sometimes with a bare hand, sometimes with a switch or a belt. We didn't consider it abuse. That was just how parents disciplined children half a fucking century ago.

Having said that, I can't imagine ever raising a hand to my daughter or anyone else I loved.

My biggest surprise as a parent was discovering that time out and taking away priveledges actually works!

My daughter is 15 and was raised without being subjected to any physical discipline. She has never been in trouble. She is smart, happy and well adjusted. She makes good grades in school and has a healthy self esteem.

I can't imagine how she would have turned out if she had been subjected to routine beatings.

Probably not as well.

faithstwin said...

Hey XO- I feel the same way. My girls, though they have their moments, are very well behaved for the most part and though both profess they 'don't like school' they both work hard and get good grades. And as much as they and I mess around, sometimes they go too far and all I have to do is look at them and say, "Don't talk back to me, please." Or make my request and they apologize and we all move on.

Time outs worked well with us and now taking away priveledges works VERY well.

Faith said...

See, we were raised in a house that was physical-abuse free, XO. So anything that involves hitting in order to persuade a child to succumb to an adult's wants and needs, to me, is something I consider physical abuse.

To be honest, I'd likely overlook this woman had she not been so fucking ridiculous with her BABY. The kid is TWO. And she wants him to say "Hi Mommy" so badly, she is willing to withhold food, berate him in front of his siblings, and then hit him with a stick for a half hour in order to get him to say it? I'm sorry, that's a total whackjob if ever there was one.

Your parents likely spanked you or smacked you with a belt for much more serious offenses, I'd imagine. At least, I'd hope that'd be the case. And I totally understand that physical punishments were very common during the time that you were growing up, so I get that, too.

I just see, in action, how badly the misplaced anger/physical abuse can affect a person further down the road every day in my husband. He had it much worse than a backscratcher, or even a belt, (try a 2x4 that had a handle carved into it, in loving manner, by his father out in the garage), and it has FUCKED him UP. He's one of the best people I have ever met in my life, but no thanks to his father, that's for damned sure.

Layla said...

Interesting, she removed the page!

faithstwin said...

Holy cow, it's COMPLETELY gone! Wow. Maybe her head will spin in the right direction and she'll see just how idiotic she is as a Mother.

I don't like saying people are shitty Mom's because I know we all, as individuals, come out of it in the end one way or another and our future decisions et al are ultimately made of our own free will but there are, indeed, some really retarded parents out there and those who have a blog about how amazing they are? REALLY bad idea.

I really wish I knew how to get in touch with this chick. I so would love to send her a note and tell her she needs mental help.

Logtar said...

I wonder if this woman has some kind of serious mental issue, like not just a little but just off the charts kind of damage in that brain.

I try to stay away from these topics because since I was only a step father for a period of time and I have not reproduced yet, I have many people bark at me with the (you have no idea until you have kids). But MAN is this LADY just someone that just should not have kids... it scares me that there are more people like this one out there.

Logtar said...

Why? Why? Why?

This is pissing me off way to much, I need to let it go or I will post a rant that will probably make me appear more brutal and condescending toward people than I already am... but come on... you train DOGS this way, no, actually, I would never go to this extent to even train a dog... this really hurts the brain. I am used to the idea that there are people out there that don't have a clue, but knowing that there are people that do this kind of stuff and some people consider it ok is beyond what my sanity can handle.

Jesus said...

What an asshole.

B, Esq. said...

Crazy bitch has now made her site completely unavailable!

I know you're not so into kids, but, be sure that even reasonable parents (like me, I think) say a huge, what the mother fucky fuck at this one!

The extra-amazing thing to me is that is justified by that this is a "lesson" that will "lead him to that greater relationship with our Lord".???? That's the crazy WTF here!!!

GB, RN said...

She made her site invite only...which is probably for the best so other stupid, Crispy Christian, parents don't find her blog and try to emulate that sort of behavior.

Those kids are going to need lots of therapy when they become adults.

At some point, we'll probably hear about them drinking special Kool Aid so they can go be with Jebus because the family dog told them to.

Faith said...

Damn. My goal was to help chase her off the internet all together. Shoot.

She sucks at life.

Logtar said...

Crawled inside the shell for sure.

Alyxmyself said...

WTF? that made my stomach do a slow roll. Treating children like that...I dunno, it seems to me it would make them groupthinkers and immune to the suffering of others(besides it's just plain cruel on every level). mentioned something in the "changeling" post about your hubby sleeping after he eats...I have this and I am insulin sensitive which makes me carb sensitive. I have to eat small portions of starches or I nod off like a junkie. Before I figured this out I would counteract the effect with caffeine. Not pretty. If he craves sugar after he eats starch and wants to sleep look for a GI counter on the web and feed him slow release food.

If not, try easing up on the protein. I know, but it could go either way.

You're pretty cool :)